First and Foremost
CJ/Danny; Donna; mentions of others
Rating Teen – mentions of sex but no actual description
Spoilers through end of series
Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul
October 24, 2014; mid-afternoon; Santa Monica, CA
CJ had just stepped out of the shower when the phone rang.
"Hey, CJ."
CJ smiled as she recognized Donna's voice.
"Backacha," CJH said as she balanced the phone between her left ear and left shoulder, pulled the robe over her right shoulder, and then switched sides in order to cover the left side of her body. "Whacha doing?"
"The kids and I came down here earlier today. Josh just left the White House. He should be here in an hour and a half. Margaret's holding down the White House until Tuesday."
"So you're at the beach until Monday afternoon?"
"Actually, since I have Tuesday off as well, Josh is going to get up at half past awful on Tuesday morning and I'll drive back about noon."
CJ sat on one of the chairs in the master bedroom.
"You can manage all four kids by yourself now? The squabbling and all?"
"Combination of terroristic threats and bribing," Donna laughed. "I told them that supper tonight would either be pizza or tuna-noodle casserole, depending on how they behaved on the drive down. We just finished the pizza. And, depending on my report of their behavior this evening, they will either spend tomorrow down by the water with Josh or helping me with housework up here. Also, I think they're still a bit affected by Leo's illness. Josh and I tried to keep our fears and worries from the other kids, but there's such a closeness, almost a mental connection, between them – and it's not just the trips, Noah is bound to the three of them just as much as they are to each other – that I think they know how serious it was."
CJ detected the slight tremor in Donna's voice.
"I can't imagine what you must have gone through, Donna. I get upset when Paddy or Caitlin skin a knee or complain of a tummy ache. But to have a child in PICU – I just wish I could have been there for you, at least on the phone."
"CJ, you were in no shape to worry about me and my child, you were fighting for your own life. The past seven weeks haven't been easy for the lot of us."
"True enough," CJ replied. "We've all been lucky. I understand that Graciella's had a relapse, but nowhere near as serious as the first time around. What was the final death toll, four?"
"That's right. Two elderly women, both over eighty, one six year old boy, and a young man who had recently been diagnosed HIV positive. We were damned lucky."
"That we were, thank God. So, changing the subject, what's the latest on everyone for after the Inauguration?"
Everyone was making plans ("or maybe 'non-plans' is a better way to say it," Donna laughed) for after Haffley's inauguration. (No one expected the Democrats to win the White House this year. Everyone was resting their hopes on the House and Senate and looking toward 2018.)
Margaret, John, and the boys were going to Texas, to the ranch. The Hoynes' had worked out a schedule with Bruno Gianelli that was satisfactory to everyone, including Bruno's parents in Florida. Both boys were very excited about the move, talking about horses, campouts, puppies, kittens, and cattle drives almost nonstop. Margaret was looking forward to several months of not having to wear heels and hose. She wasn't sure how she would adjust to life outside the "big city," but told Donna that she and John were open to the idea of another child. ("Margaret said that it was really hard losing custody of Kiley. No one had any idea that John's second cousin and her husband adopted the little girl on the black market. And once they found out, the idea that a judge would give Kiley back to the birth mother who sold her to the highest bidder – well, the judge was a Republican. In any event, she and John decided that they want to try for another child of their own. They quote-unquote 'pulled the goalie' last week.")
And, of course, Donna knew that CJ knew that the Santos' would be going to work for Franklin Hollis "after a decent amount of downtime." Helen had reluctantly agreed that the family could not go back to the same neighborhood in Houston. She and Matt had kept the house as their official residence (allowing Matt's second cousin and her husband to live there) for eight years, but had rarely visited. Even the reduced presence that the Secret Service felt necessary for former presidents would be too much of an imposition for the block. Instead, Matt had arranged to buy back some ancestral land northwest of the city and they would build something that was pleasing to them and to the detail charged with their protection. They would also find something similar in San Luis Obispo, in the same area where Frank and Sarita lived.
According to State Department gossip, Will Bailey had recommended that the University of Oregon offer a teaching position to Kate Harper. Rick took Will aside and told him that, if he wanted to move beyond a somewhat liberal House seat in Oregon, the two of them would have to take their relationship to a legal one or drop it. If Will wanted to move up to the national level, he could not continue to live with Kate without benefit of clergy. Nancy McNally was being pursued by Harvard, Penn, and Stanford. Apparently, she was also being pursued by her Canadian counterpart, a very handsome widower from Quebec.
Rina and Cathy would, in all likelihood, land in the DCCC somewhere. Both women wanted to continue working in Washington, even as part of the loyal opposition. Rick and Ginger would, of course, continue on as usual and Liz Bartlet was going back to New Hampshire to prepare to run for her father's old seat in two years.
The only one with issues about the future was Carol. Apparently, Carol really wanted to stay home with Clarissa and Sean rather than find another position outside the house. David's career position with the State Department was secure, and he wanted to be able to give her the option of staying home, but he was also terrified of being the sole support for the four of them. If Haffley tried to slow down planned raises, the Palmers would be dangerously close to living beyond their means, especially if their property taxes or homeowners' insurance were to rise at the same time.
"David has always been conservative and cautious," Donna confided. "He waited until he could afford a good down payment on the condo and until he could pay cash for Carol's ring before proposing. I know that when he couldn't bring himself to take out a 95 percent loan in order to get the Fitzwallace place, it killed him. Carol really loved the place and I think she had a hard time accepting that. It's a shame that Mrs. Fitzwallace had to sell right away, not that I begrudge her the happiness she's found with her new husband. With the inheritance that Carol got from her mother's cousin Elsie, she and David should have been able to afford Laura and Fitz' place. As it is, with that money, the two of them were able to put down almost 45 percent on their house, but David was still apprehensive. Carol, on the other hand, felt guilty about wanting the same "non-working" lifestyle that Margaret, Ginger, and you, CH, were either living or about to be living. She didn't want David to think that she felt that David wasn't up to the same standard as the other men. Anyway, the Palmers are in counseling with your Paul about the whole situation."
"Well, at least they are seeking help from the best," CJ said. "Do you think I should call her?"
"Call but don't bring up anything about this," Donna advised. "She does feel self-conscious about the whole mess. I think the only reason she talks to me about it is because I will continue to work for the party, albeit in a telecommuting role after I get things set up. Don't tell her, but I'm going to talk to the D-triple-C chair. I know they have another opening and I think that Carol would be able to do it part-time or maybe partially from home."
"That would be great, Donna. What about Josh? Is he still planning on taking off until April?"
"Yep. He'll be the househusband while I go back and forth to DC three days a week. Of course, I'm also taking off the rest of January and half of February. The six of us will play 'Little House on the Prairie' for a month or so down in Virginia. I'm afraid Josh might expect me to churn butter and knit our clothing. If he does, I'm going to expect him to slaughter chickens, if not something bigger.
"But enough about all of us? What's going on with you guys, the neighbors, your families, Bonnie and Jean-Luc?"
"Well, Danny and I are going to have the weekend here at the house to ourselves. Paddy is going with the Muñoz clan to a family reunion in Paso Robles. Hank, Steve, and Pammy and taking Caitlin with them to Hank's grandfather's farm. She's really excited about seeing the cows and chickens. About thirty minutes before you called, I dropped off Destiny at a boarding kennel. In fact, I was just getting myself all seductive when you called.
"Let's see. Carmen has lost some of the baby fullness in her face and is turning into a really attractive young woman. The boys are really starting to flock around her. Frank seems to be managing his little girl growing up a lot better than Mitch did with Hogan. Speaking of which, both Hogan and her husband got promotions. Keith, Randy and Gina's middle boy, is joining the Jesuits after he graduates from Berkeley. Fee's pregnant again. Ash is still seeing Brianna Stewart's son, but there's been no movement in the relationship. I honestly can't tell if Erin is happy or concerned about it. Anyway, back here, Cindy is a senior and is looking at colleges. I think she has her heart set on Berkeley; I'm going to write her a recommendation. She's doing well in school, she's involved in a project with homeless elementary school kids, and she handles Jessica having to do some traveling for Nancy very well. There was an issue with a less than desirable boy friend, but Steve and Danny put on their father hats and made sure that Cindy knew that she deserved better in her life. Drew Robbins is engaged to a girl he met over the summer and Laura is hoping that she can make it to 50 without becoming a grandmother. Jill is in her senior year at Stanford and will be making a serious run at the NCAA's this spring. Jill's been asked to join the LPGA tour. Becky Feldman's aiming for Harvard Med. When she was up there last week, she ran into Abbey and Abbey not only remembered her, she talked at length with the girl in front of the professor who was with Becky, so the Feldman's have high hopes. I don't know if you remember Linda Tallchief, the kids' doctor? She was supposed to get married in March, but she and her fiancé eloped last week and Diana said that she saw Linda coming out of Scott's office with a bunch of pregnancy fliers, so-o-o. Billy Rogers is considering running for mayor and he wanted me to take his place on council. I don't know who said 'No way!' faster, Danny or me. I think Bonnie and Jean-Luc are planning a second honeymoon for February. I offered to take care of the girls. Jean-Luc has the two of them eating out of his hand. Hank and Steve are looking for a surrogate; this one would be Hank's child biologically. I'm sure I'm leaving something out, but I can't think of what it is."
Actually, CJ knew exactly what she was leaving out, but until Nancy confirmed what CJ suspected, CJ's lips were sealed.
"And Danny? Still happy with USC?"
"Deliriously so, and not just with USC but with life in general. He dropped out of a couple of committees because of me, so now he's volunteering at church, helping to train the altar servers. It's just too typical, hearing him coach the kids. Donna, even if I did want to be working now, I think I would choose not to because he is so happy with our current set up. I know that I'll eventually want something else and I know that as soon as I mention anything about it, he'll say 'whatever you want, CJ, as long as we talk about it', but for now, this life is perfect for us. I remember, the day I almost blew it forever, he talked about how he was willing to 'be Mr. CJ Cregg', as he put it. And now, here I am -"
"Mrs. Danny Concannon?" Donna asked with a laugh.
"Well, Mrs. CJ Concannon," CJ replied, also laughing. "And it's not June Cleaver or anything like that. You remember, I got elected to parish council last May and they've asked me to take over the President-Elect slot in January when Reggie Adams goes up to Sacramento. And Fr. Luke told me that the Cardinal wanted me on his religion and media advisory committee, until I got sick and he realized that I didn't need the extra pressure just yet. It's funny, what David is so afraid of, Danny revels in."
"Well, you know, I think a great deal of it is the support system you all have out there. I've never seen a neighborhood as close as yours. Your guardian angels were certainly looking out for you two when you found your house.
"But tell me more about this weekend alone. Where are you going?"
"We're staying here. We've had our little getaways in the past, but we felt that we needed some time just as a couple in our own house. It's something we haven't had since before Caitlin was born."
"Well, then, I'll let you get ready for your man. Have a wonderful, romantic, and sexy weekend."
"Thanks, we'll sure try," CJ laughed. "Love to Josh and the kids."
Five minutes later, CJ adjusted the spaghetti strap on her left shoulder, then did a quick turn in front of the mirror. The turquoise sundress she bought in Rehoboth back when Paddy was an infant still fit after five years and another pregnancy. Slipping on her sandals, she was completely dressed.
If she and Danny were going out for the evening, she would have added earrings, a pendant, a watch, and perhaps even a bracelet. And, if she and Danny were going out, she would be wearing a bra and maybe even a slip. However, she smiled to herself, her husband would probably consider even the pair of panties she was wearing to be unnecessary for an evening chez nous.
To say that the past seven weeks had been rough for the Concannon's would be an understatement.
The first two weeks were little more than a blur. Her last clear memory was Paddy's second day of kindergarten, when she had to ask Danny to take over her carpool duties, saying that she needed to lie down and get rid of this cold that had snuck up on her. She had vague memories of first Scott Winkler and then other doctors and nurses poking and prodding at her. She had somewhat clearer memories of Danny hovering over her, kissing her forehead and telling her how much he loved her. She also remembered hearing his voice speaking softly in the background. ("Abbey, I hope it doesn't come to that. The doctors all say she's strong and should be able to fight it, but you never know. You're the doctor, but I don't think the President needs to be exposed to whatever this is.") She had one fairly clear memory of voices praying a rosary. And she had one very clear memory of Fr. Luke's fingers tracing crosses on her forehead, eyes, nose, ears, lips, hands and feet.
Then CJ woke up in a strange room. It took her five seconds to realize that she was in a hospital. It took her another three seconds to realize that she had been very sick and that it had been some time since she lay down "for a few minutes". CJ heard a slight sound and looked toward the source of that sound. Her husband was slouched into the chair, his legs sprawled out haphazardly. In the half light, she could see his face. He was sleeping, but fitfully.
"Danny?"
He woke with a start, looked around as if not sure where he was, then fixed upon her face.
"Jeannie?"
Danny was at her side, his hands on her face.
"You're cool. And dry. Oh, God, Jeannie, I've been so worried, we've all been so worried."
The next thing CJ knew, she was waking again, with doctors and nurses surrounding her. For the next two days, she woke only when the staff came to check on her or to give her medication, but she remained free from fever and free from delirium. Finally, she was able to go home.
Memories of the next two weeks included being given liquids and medicines by Danny, Hank, Steve, Diana, Frank, and the other neighbors; they included being bathed, first in bed and then sitting on a bath chair in the shower stall, by Danny, Diana, and Laura. There were also memories of blowing kisses to her children, standing in the doorway of her bedroom, because the doctors wanted to be sure that the infection was totally eradicated from her body. At first, she was too tired to even watch television, let alone hold a book or a magazine. The first time she tried to feed herself, her hands shook so much she spilled more of her soup than she swallowed.
The last three weeks brought gradually returning strength and permission to hug and kiss her children. At first, she could only manage a couple of hours on her feet. She was able to make sure that Paddy was ready to leave for school on time and to feed Caitlin her breakfast, but would then have to turn over care of her daughter to Danny, if it was one of his mornings at home, or to Hessa or Shamira, the two vaguely familiar young women who came to help with Caitlin and to help with the housekeeping in between visits from Narcisia ("Maybe we remind you of our second cousin Miriam, excuse me, Mariah. She sometimes works at the hospital and she mentioned you to us.") The weekend that all the males on the block (except little Chen Wei) went camping, Hogan and her husband came to stay with her, Caitlin, and Heather Jenkins. (Two of Yan's cousins, grad students at UCLA, also were there to provide a male presence on the block.) By this past Monday, the two Syrian-American sisters were no longer needed ("But if you ever need us again, even just for baby-sitting, call us.") and CJ was taking her turn in the car pool schedule. Next week, she would be one of the "helpers" for Paddy's kindergarten class trip to Sea World.
About ten days ago, CJ was sitting in the courtyard. Danny had put Caitlin to bed about an hour ago while she had helped Paddy with the little map of the neighborhood that was part of the class project. Then Danny took Paddy to his room for their nightly reading session.
"So, everyone's down for the night?"
"Yes," Danny answered as he eased down beside her.
Suddenly, Danny pulled her tightly against him.
"This is the second time in seven years that I've almost lost you, Jeannie. First the breast lump scare and now this."
"And what about you? Those hours when you and the others were lost at sea and then that time right before Caitlin was born, when we were waiting to see your doctor?"
"I keep remembering those talks from the priests and from Paul. Yes, we're parents and yes, we have responsibilities to Paddy and Caitlin. But first and foremost, we are man and woman, sacramentally united before God, our families and friends. We need some time to ourselves, darling," Danny whispered into her hair. "We have a good marriage, but we need to keep it good."
"So, we'll leave the kids with the neighbors and head up to Albion for a couple of days?" CJ asked.
"It's easy to be romantic and intimate in a romantic and intimate setting. It's not so easy in the everyday world of carpools, leaking sinks, leaf-filled gutters, and piles of laundry. I think we need to remind ourselves that we are husband and wife here in this house. We need to reassert our marriage here."
So, plans were made. The children were parceled out to the neighbors. Appointments were changed. Destiny had been bundled off to "dog camp".
This morning, CJ had changed the bed, replacing the Egyptian cotton bedding with silk. Over the past few days, Danny had made sure that there was plenty of firewood in the bedroom, the family room, and the living room. A shipment from the MacDonald Distilleries arrived on Wednesday. Right now, a plate of shrimp, lump crabmeat, and lobster tails was chilling in the refrigerator, along with a bottle of her brother's best champagne. Salad ingredients rested in baggies, waiting to be combined with a light vinaigrette. Two hours ago, Wally Hammash came by with a one pound beef Wellington ("Leave it out on this ice tray. I've inserted the meat thermometer already. Make sure the oven is at 350 before you start cooking it. You want 125 for rare. If it starts to get too brown, cover loosely with foil, shiny side out.") and another bottle from Randy and Gina, this one an estate reserve Pinot Noir, lay on its side on the counter. Flourless chocolate cake drenched in raspberry liqueur, coffee, and Bailey's would complete the meal.
Yes, she and Danny would make love tonight after their romantic meal (and maybe even between the appetizer and the main course), would probably be intimate again in the morning, and several other times over the weekend. Her perfume, her dress, her relative lack of underwear were all geared toward that end.
But more importantly, she and Danny would have time to talk, to hold, to listen, to renew and reaffirm the fundamental basis of their life together.
Because, before they were neighbor, brother, sister, aunt, uncle, friend, mother, or father, they were husband and wife. As long as they kept those roles first in their lives, they could fulfill the others with relative ease.
The door from the garage opened and Danny walked into the courtyard. He was carrying his sports coat and his briefcase. A tie hung from the jacket pocket. The top two buttons of Danny's shirt were undone and his cuffs were rolled up about three inches from his wrists.
CJ met him a little less than halfway across the courtyard, took the things from him and walked with him to the family room. As she set down the coat and the case, Danny collapsed into an overstuffed chair.
For the first five years of their marriage, Danny would often find himself, upon CJ's return from the alleys of Accra, the streams of Khartoum, or the plains of Ouagadougou, caring for her as if she were a weary child, helping her to undress, feeding her soup and scrambled eggs, sponging her face and her body with a damp wash cloth.
Later today, the former senior White House reporter would gently and reverently make love to the woman he had pursued for eight years and had adored and cherished for seven. He would leave no doubt in her mind that she was his queen, his beloved, his everything.
But right now, the former White House Press Secretary and Chief of Staff, the founder and former director of the most successful charitable organization in the world, the Nobel Peace laureate knelt at her husband's feet, slipped off his shoes and socks, and smiled up into his eyes.
"Welcome home, my love."