A/N: Thanks for everyone's support. I am overwhelmed that I'm nearing 1,000 reviews. In my last story, I thought I was hot shit when I was nearing 500. LOL!

Thanks to my prereader, Softragoo, whom I never would have made it through this past week in one piece. You are such an amazing person :)

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight.

I think it's a prerequisite for every Twific to have a chapter that fits perfectly to the song "Fix You" by Coldplay. Well, here's mine...

Twenty Six

Edward pulled up just as I was researching the wolf habitat on my phone and I'd gotten directions. Internally, I struggled with whether I should have told him or not but in the end, I decided against it. My only hope would be that he'd either fall asleep or put up a fight when he realized that we were going east, not north. Brookville, Indiana was five hours away which meant that we'd get there sometime around 5pm if we drove straight there which mean no time for arguing or convincing. The habitat closed at 7pm.

"You guys ready to go?" Edward asked, sticking his head out the driver's side window.

"Yeah," I said. "I feel like driving. Do you mind?"

He shrugged and got out as Jasper high-tailed it to the passenger's side seat.

"Shot gun!"

Edward sighed and got in the backseat, too exhausted to battle with Jasper.

"How'd everything go?" I asked after he'd gotten me on to the interstate.

"Good, I think. Betsy is thrilled that I'm coming back."

I looked at Jasper to gauge his reaction to the news that Edward wouldn't be staying in Chicago but he was too enthralled in his CD collection to catch it.

"Did you eat?" I asked.

"Yeah, I grabbed something from McDonalds on my way there."

I nodded. "You should get some sleep. I feel pretty good to go the whole way; I remember which way to go and everything."

He pressed his lips together and for a moment, I thought I'd been caught but then he nodded. "Okay. Wake me up if you need anything."

Jasper shook a CD at me and winked with both eyes. "Cher," he explained. "Tell me Bella, do you believe in life after love?"

I suppressed the urge to wrestle the shiny disc out of his fingers and toss it out the window. Edward ran a hand over his burred hair cut in an annoyed fashion.

Cher took us to the fork in the interstate where I'd need to go north to get to Chicago and East to get to Indiana. I held my breath as I glided onto I-74, waiting for a curse from the back of the car. None came so I peeked over my shoulder to see Edward leaning his head on the seat and his eyes pinched shut.

I smiled at Jasper and I got the goofy wink again.

Three hours later, my bladder betrayed me. Honestly, I would have put my money on Jasper being the one to force us to stop but no, it was me. So, I pulled into a gas station and waddled inside. Jasper followed close behind and I shoved money at him, ordering him to get us all drinks.

When I was done in the bathroom, I peeked around the corner in fear that I'd see Edward standing there waiting to confront me about what the hell we were doing in Indiana. He wasn't there and I let a sigh of relief whoosh out of my lungs. Jasper was nowhere in sight so I thanked the clerk for the use of the facilities and walked out the door.

"When were you going to tell me about this?"

My nerves were already on edge so the sound of his voice made me yelp. "Jesus! You can't sneak up on people like that!"

He was leaning on the side of the building, looking smug. "I think you deserved that."

I pursed my lips and narrowed my eyes. "I've always wanted to go to Indiana so I just thought, while I was in the area…"

His eyebrows popped up to his hairline. "You've always wanted to see Indiana?"

"Mmm-hmm, that's right."

"Why?"

I stuttered and made some hand gestures toward the horizon. "The scenery, obviously." He looked toward where my hand had pointed to and we both blinked at some Maple trees and an old run down barn. "Well, not that scenery but you know, the farm country."

"The whole drive from Peoria to Chicago is practically farm country, Bella."

I put my hands on my hips. "Quit playing stupid, Edward, you know where we're going."

He stepped closer. "Why didn't you just tell me?"

"Well, because I thought you'd be mad." My voice was small and shaky due to his close proximity and I knew he could sense it. I glanced at his lips. The things he could do with those lips…

Before I knew it, he was close enough so that I could feel his breath on my forehead. "I'm not mad. Do I look mad?"

I shrugged. "You look a little…shaken."

He fought a grin. "Shaken? I look shaken?"

I trailed my finger down his torso, from his chest to his belly. "You're not mad?"

The feel of the stubble on my cheek as he leaned into me, whispering into my ear, "I'm not mad."

"Do you mind if we go?" He pulled my earlobe in to his mouth and nibbled. I moaned. "I mean, if you really don't want to…oh, wow…go, we can go back. But I really kind of…oh, my."

He chuckled against the skin of my neck as his hands wound around my waist. "I had plans for us tonight, Bella but…"—he sighed dramatically and dropped all contact, stepping back a few inches—"If you really want to go…"

I frowned. "You play dirty."

The grin on his face made his eyes go all crinkly in an adorable way but the wink was what made my knees wobble. "You have no idea."

After a few more kisses and gropes, we were on our way to Brookville, Indiana. Edward managed to bribe Jasper into the backseat with a Slim Jim and a bottle of Root beer. The drive was quiet and I felt Edward's eyes on me several times but I kept mine focused on the road. He'd surprised me with his reaction to finding out our destination but I could only guess what was going on in that head of his.

My rear was asleep and there was a cramp in my foot by the time we finally got to the wolf sanctuary. It was appropriately called Wolf Creek Habitat and Rescue. We parked and got out of the car, each of us eliciting groans from being cooped up in the car.

"You sure about this?" I asked Edward.

He narrowed his eyes playfully. "If I'm not, are we going to leave?"

I pressed my lips together before answer, "That depends upon how much of a fight you put up."

"Damn, this brings back memories," Jasper muttered from behind us.

The playfulness melted off Edward's face and he turned his face down to frown at his boots.

"Come on, they close at seven."

We stomped up to the door and into a tiny little shop.

"Hi! How ya'll doin'?" An older lady with blonde curls and thick glasses asked from behind the counter.

Edward sucked in a breath beside me.

"Hey! I remember you!" Jasper said with a grin.

The lady froze with a smile on her face, her eyes wide as she desperately tried to come up with a name to match Jasper's bearded face.

"Have you been here before?" she asked.

Jasper picked up a little wolf trinket and examined it, top and bottom. I held my breath, terrified that he'd drop it. "Yeah, I came here a few times in high school with my girlfriend."

Edward was stiff and his expression concerned me. It was the one he always got when he was holding shit in. I waited for him to bolt; to run out the door to avoid facing whatever it was that he feared about this place. Whether it was the memories or the guilt, it was obvious that he didn't want to face it.

The lady behind the counter let out a sigh of relief since not recollecting someone from years ago was excusable. "Well, what was your name?"

Jasper set the trinket down with a sharp clang and I grimaced.

"I'm Jasper!" He held out his arms as if he'd just performed some sort of elaborate magic act. "I used to bring my girlfriend Alice here to see Jericho."

Edward turned and started walking stiffly around the shop, his eyes roaming over merchandise that he really wasn't seeing. I chewed on my lip, worried that I'd made a mistake by bringing him out here. I wandered over to him as Jasper continued chatting with the woman, and I put my hand on his arm.

"Maybe this wasn't such a good idea," I whispered. "We can go. I'm sorry."

"I'm fine, Bella."

I sighed because he wasn't and I could tell. I told him so with my eyes and he leaned in to kiss my forehead in response. Then he turned around and continued his mindless meandering.

"I do remember Alice!" The woman finally exclaimed. "She was the sweet little girl who dragged her brother out here with her all the time. I'm sorry but I don't remember you, though. I do remember another young fellow with gorgeous blue eyes and great manners. He used to wear those vulgar shirts though; that always made me say a little prayer for that poor girl."

Edward snorted from across the room.

Jasper grinned. "That was me!"

The woman adjusted her glasses and examined Jasper more carefully. "That was you?"

He nodded enthusiastically. "Yep! That was me."

She pursed her lips. "Are you sure?"

That made him frown and his brows furrowed in thought.

Edward sighed. "It was you, Jasper. Remember your Nine Inch Nails shirt that you only took off to wash once a week?"

That just proved that Jasper's oddness wasn't entirely due to the drugs he'd put into his body. I wasn't sure if that made me feel better or worse.

Relief flashed over Jasper's features but he sobered quickly. "That shirt wasn't vulgar."

The woman leaned over the counter and whispered, "It had the 'F' word on it."

He cocked his head and explained, "That was one of their songs."

That didn't seem to be a good enough explanation for her; instead it seemed to make her narrow her eyes and purse her lips toward him.

"Is Jericho still here?" Edward asked.

Sadness flashed over her face. "Oh, no, he passed away a few weeks ago, actually. He was our old man; lived to be seventeen." Edward grazed a knuckle over his chin and Jasper picked the trinket back up off the shelf. "The good thing is though that he got to see his grand pups before he died."

"He had pups?" I asked excitedly.

She smiled warmly. "Grand pups—oh, they are so sweet. They were whelped a couple months ago so they just came out into the open last week. There's one that looks exactly like his Grand Daddy but…"—her eyes widened and she started stage whispering—"He's a holy terror."

"Can we…can we see them?" I asked.

Her smile grew. "We only ask for a twenty dollar donation for each person."

I pulled out my wallet before Edward could make it back to the counter with his. "Jasper, do you want to go into the enclosure?" I turned to him and he was having a staring contest with the miniature wolf that he couldn't seem to keep his hands off of. After I sighing dramatically, I added, "I'll take that little wolf thing he's got, too."

Jasper decided to hang out by the car instead of joining us in the wolf enclosure. Edward seemed nervous and I was trying to hold in my excitement. I paid and Edward and I signed our life away on a couple of waivers. A younger guy, named Aiden, met us outside and led us over to the wolves. The set up was amazing. If you didn't go in with them, you could easily walk the paths around them. The wolves watched us with curious eyes as we approached and scattered toward the back of the yard as we got closer.

"It's a good thing you both got long pants on and I hope you don't mind getting muddy. Watch the pups, 'cause they'll grab a mouthful of your arm and when they do, they're mighty determined to keep it." He opened the gate and we walked in slowly. "Don't approach them; let them come to you. No sudden movements and no reaching for their heads. And I assume it's common sense but of course there are a lot of idiots in this world, so I have to say it: If a wolf is eating or chewing on something, don't try to take it away from them. You'll lose an appendage, at the least a finger."

Edward walked over to a couple of logs that doubled as a bench for visitors. I followed him as Aiden leaned on the fence casually. The wolves watched us cautiously, not afraid but curious.

"The pups are sleeping in the den with their momma. Sometimes if they hear you talking to the other wolves, they'll come clamoring out to see what the ruckus is all about." Aiden crossed his arms over his chest and rested a boot up on a big rock. "Let me know if you have any questions."

"Thanks," I said with a smile.

We sat in silence for what seemed like hours but in reality, it was a small amount of time before one of the younger looking wolves with a tan and white coat ventured up to us. Aiden told us that her name was Katrina. She sniffed us, probably looking for fresh blood or treats, and when she realized we didn't have any, Katrina moved on in a bored fashion.

Then the other wolves got brave. As each one approached us, Aiden gave us their names and their stories with a giant grin on his face. He obviously loved and believed in what he was doing even though he was simply a volunteer. It was refreshing.

"Your Sunday peeps at the church are going to miss you when you move to Peoria," I said softly. "I'm surprised you aren't going crazy by not being there today."

Edward shrugged. "I haven't seen them lately."

I cut my eyes to him. "You haven't?" He shook his head. "For how long?"

"A while."

The wolves strolled around casually, glimpsing at us from time to time to see what we had that could interest them. They were beautiful in their graceful movements and it seemed that they held secrets in their eyes; as if they knew so much more than we did, even if they were supposed to be the inferior species.

"I can see why Alice fell in love with this place," I whispered.

"It is pretty spectacular," Edward replied softly as his eyes traveled over the landscape around us. "Thank you, Bella, for bringing me here. I feel closer to Alice than I have since she died."

"You're welcome," I said, fighting a grin. "Do you want me to—"

I was interrupted by Aiden. "Here they come! Prepare yourselves!"

Four wolf puppies waddled out of the little makeshift cave in the middle of the holding area. Three of them were gray and white but one of them was pure silver. While the three similar ones cocked their heads and watched us, the silver one moseyed on over and sunk his teeth into Edward's ankle.

"Christ!" Edward hissed but he didn't move his leg in fear of scaring the wolves. Instead, he reached down and tried to pry the teeth off of his pant leg.

"Yep. That's Jericho Junior," Aiden grumbled with a grin. "You need help?"

Edward managed to get little J.J. off his pant leg and he held him at arm's length. "I think I'm good."

"That's funny how he headed straight for you," Aiden noted. "Usually, he either goes to pick on the big female wolf or he comes after me; must be something special runnin' through your veins."

Edward scoffed as J.J. playfully snapped at Edward's arm. "Yeah, like blood."

When Edward was holding his own against the little pup, J.J. turned his attention to me and went for my shin. I pulled my legs up but he jumped after them, his tail wagging at the idea of the chase. Thankfully, Edward pulled him back before his sharp little teeth could make contact with my skin.

"Feisty little bugger," Edward grumbled.

It didn't take long for J.J. to wander off toward something more exciting.

"You ready?"

I shrugged. "Whenever you are."

There was fifteen minutes before the habitat closed when we got back to the car. Jasper was asleep in the back seat with his bare feet pressed up against the window, his skin squished against the glass.

I grimaced. "I've never met anyone like him before."

"Thinking twice about inviting him back to Washington?" Edward said with a smug grin.

"No, I was just stating a fact, is all."

"Mmm hmm," he muttered under his breath. "Do you mind if I take a short walk around the place? I'll be back in a few."

I shook my head as he opened the passenger side door and poked his head in.

"Jasper!"

Jasper shot up and blinked, his entire head was a mosh pit of hair.

"Put your shoes back on before Bella suffocates in there with you." Edward drew his head out and then turned around to address me. "Get inside and lock the doors."

I saluted him and he rolled his eyes.

As he walked away, I yelled, "I hate to see you leave but I love to watch you go!"

He didn't acknowledge me but I could see him shaking his head.

"Where's he goin'?" Jasper asked after I'd climbed into the car.

"On a walk."

"Like a spiritual walk?"

I raised my eyebrows and said, "I think he just wanted time to think; I guess you can call it a thoughtful walk."

He made a noise. "That's nice."

After shifting in my seat, I cleared my throat as I prepared myself to issue an invitation to Jasper to come back to Washington. He'd had all these crazy idea about marrying me and I didn't want it to come across as a romantic invite.

"Maybe I'll stay in Chicago," Jasper mumbled. "I mean, maybe I can get Edward's job if he quits. Or even jump in as a temporary replacement or something."

I almost pouted at the sadness in his voice. With a sigh, I twisted in my seat so I could make eye contact with him. "Jasper, I was wondering if you'd like to come stay with my dad and me in Washington. We could help you get on your feet, help you find a job, stuff like that." His eyebrows twitched inwardly but he stared at me like I'd just blurted out jibberish. "My dad is Police Chief so he could put in a good word for you around town. I already called and asked him and he told me that he'd agree to meet you."

Jasper blinked rapidly. "You…you want me to come stay with you?"

"I want to help you," I explained.

His fingers started picking at a small hole in the knee of his jeans. "But you don't really know me."

"I know that you're a good person and that the life you have isn't what you want." I chewed on my lip a little before adding, "You might have to shave your beard and cut your hair."

His hand absently went to stroke his beard.

"Not that I want you to," I lied, "but my dad, well, he's kind of old fashioned and he might make a judgment call based on your facial hair."

For a moment, he let it all sink in and I thought for a moment that shaving his beard was asking too much. But then he seemed to shake himself and a grin appeared somewhere underneath his tangled 'stache. "I'll make you proud, Bella. I promise."

Call me crazy but I had a hankering to hug Jasper, crumb filled beard and all. "I just want you to be proud of yourself."

XxXxXx

Edward got back to the car a few minutes later and he had a strange look on his face. I worried that it had all been too much but he didn't want to admit it and make me feel guilty. After he climbed behind the wheel and turned the engine over, I grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze.

"You okay?"

The corners of his mouth turned up into a small grin and he nodded once. "I'm good."

We waved to Aiden as we drove off and soon we were on our way back to Chi-town. I was exhausted but anxious to spend time with everyone before I had to head back to Forks. A few hours into the journey, my eyes were heavy and my head was bobbing with my brain's desperation for sleep. Jasper was conked out in the back seat and Edward was driving in silent thought. There wasn't a need to fill the silence with conversation so we didn't; instead, we just let music fill the interior of my small rental.

The sound of my phone ringing caused me to let out a half drowsy snort. I blinked into focus as I padded my pockets for my cell.

"Probably my dad…" I explained, even though no one was questioning.

Expecting the rough voice of Charlie Swan, I answered with a hoarse tone.

"Hello?"

"Bella, hey!" It wasn't Charlie but it was a man. "How are you?"

I cleared my throat as I tried to process the voice, mentally face palming myself when I realized who it was. "Ben?"

"Yeah," he chuckled. "I haven't heard from you since our date so I decided to give you a ring."

Ben Cheney was a perfectly nice guy. He was handsome and smart and a gentleman. The date that I'd been on with him was nice but there were no lusty explosions and he didn't make the goldfish in my belly do any swarming. Truth of the matter was, was that he wasn't Edward. There was only one of those and I was madly in love with him.

It was hard to believe that it hadn't even been a week since I'd went out with him; it seemed a million years had passed since I'd ventured out on my experimental date. We'd parted on good terms, with a kiss to his cheek and no future plans. I had thought that the lack luster attitude I'd had at the end of the evening was mutual. Apparently it wasn't.

I cut my eyes to Edward but his stare was intent on the road ahead. "Uh, yeah, I had to go out of town. Sorry about that."

"Oh, I didn't know! Are you okay to talk?"

"Uh, I really can't right now. I'm sorry." I tried desperately to keep my voice quiet but not conspicuously quiet. It wasn't easy. "We'll talk when I get back—my plane comes in on Wednesday."

"Oh, do you need a ride 'cause I can—"

"No! My dad is picking me up. It's fine."

I could feel my face burning as I wondered what was going through Edward's mind.

"Okay, well, give me a buzz when you get back into Forks. There's new Italian restaurant in Port Angeles that I've been dying to try out. I'd love to take you out next weekend."

I cleared my throat and willed a freak lightning storm to cut out my cell service. Of course, if I'd been on an important phone call, there'd be a sudden onslaught of hail coming our way but now that I actually needed to break a call… Nothing.

"Uh, I'll call you, okay?"

He was quiet for a moment before he spoke, "I'd like that, Bella."

I winced and said goodbye because that conversation wouldn't be pleasant. Ben was nice and I hoped that he would find somebody who wanted to try out that Italian place but it just wasn't me. My eyes reluctantly cut over to Edward whose lips and brows were pursed in thought; the green light from the dash clashing with his intense gaze.

"Uh, that was—" I started but Jasper interrupted me.

"What kind of work can I do in Forks, Bella?"

Edward glanced at me and I could see the worry on his expression as I twisted in my seat to look at Jasper.

"I dunno. What do you want to do?"

He pressed his lips together. "In reality or in my dreams?"

I suppose it was a fair question and it took my mind off of the past five minutes. "Both," I replied.

"Well, in my dreams, I'd like to own my own bar. Maybe, I can moonlight as a bartender and people would come in and we'd chit chat about the game or just life, in general." He smiled at the image he was seeing in his head of his dream self and sighed. "I'd be someone who the men could relate to and I'd get to do a lot of fist bumping. Maybe some high fives. The ladies would think I'm sensitive and charming as I lean over the bar and listen to their sad tales of broken hearts and misguided intentions. My place would be the kind of place where everybody knows your name…and you're always glad that you came."

I grinned. "Like Cheers," I offered.

Jasper's smile grew. "Just. Like. Cheers."

"Okay, and in reality?" I asked.

"In reality, I can…" He pressed his lips together in thought. "In reality, I can clean. And cook."

My eyebrows popped up. "You can cook?"

"Oh yes, I can cook."

"Maybe, I can put a good word in for you at the diner that I work at. The turnaround for good cooks is pretty high."

He leaned forward and held his fist out toward me. Instinctively, I leaned away from him slightly but recovered as I bumped my fist with his. He slumped back into the seat with a stupid grin on his face, mumbling words like "sweet" and "Ted Danson."

I ended up dozing off on the way home and woke up with my face pressed up to the glass of the window. With a sniff, I wiped my mouth and blinked my eyes into focus as we pulled onto my old street in Chicago.

"Are you going over to see Rose tonight?" Edward asked softly as he cut off the engine.

"I think I'll just wait until tomorrow," I told him then added, "I'm exhausted."

The guys grabbed the bags out of the trunk; Edward swatted at my hand when I tried to grab my own and gave me a short lecture on letting him be a gentleman for once in his life.

"Dear God, I'm starving!" Jasper proclaimed as we stepped through the door. "Do you think the family next door has food?"

Edward rolled his eyes. "I'll go out and get something."

I showered while Edward was gone which said a lot for Jasper in both of our eyes. It didn't make me think twice about being alone with him in the apartment and Edward asked me with his eyes if I was okay with staying there before he left. I answered with a sharp nod and a double-eyed wink. By the time I was dressed in comfortable sweatpants and oversized t-shirt, Edward was back with Chinese.

Jasper loudly praised the heavens as he dug into the food and piled a mixture of rice, General Tao chicken and eggrolls onto his plate. All three of us squeezed onto the couch and Edward turned the channel on the TV until he got to an old episode of Miami Vice.

I made a disgruntled noise.

"What? You don't like Miami Vice?" Edward asked around a mouthful of food.

My face scrunched into dislike. "No, not really."

He leaned forward so that he could look past me at Jasper. "Do you like Miami Vice?"

Jasper snorted some rice into his lap. "Hell yes, I do! Sonny Crockett is the man!"

Edward slouched back into the couch and grinned at me. "Two against one—Miami Vice it is."

I narrowed my eyes. "What happened to that whole 'being a gentleman' thing you were going on and on about on the way up here?"

"That doesn't include TV programming," he replied dryly.

"There are exceptions?"

"To being a gentleman, you mean?" I nodded and he scoffed in response. "Hell yes, there are exceptions."

"You'll have to make a list for me."

He shook his head. "I can't. Men don't share secrets like that. You know, man code and all."

I snorted. "That's ridiculous..." I shook my head and continued to eat as I grumbled "man code" under my breath.

"Women have their code and men have theirs," Jasper offered.

"Do tell, Jasper, what exactly entails as woman code?" I asked.

He shrugged and grinned at me as he waggled his eyebrows frantically. "You show me yours and I'll show you mine."

I narrowed an eye at him. "Okay, first lesson in women code is never, ever respond to that request in nothing less than silence but nothing more than a smack to the head."

Jasper's eyebrows furrowed as he chewed on my words. "Damn, woman code is complex."

I issued him the silence.

After dinner, Edward went to get cleaned up as I talked to Jasper a little about Forks. The look on his face when he asked questions made me excited to help him out and even though I was nervous about it, I trusted Jasper. There was something innocent about him that put me at ease. He wasn't stupid but there was a child-like grace to his enthusiasm over the possibility of working as a cook at the diner and the way he grinned when I told him how small the town was. Jasper was starting over and if anyone was to know how good that felt, it was me.

"I'm going to bed." Edward's voice was low from behind us and I turned, still smiling at Jasper's enthusiasm. There was an odd look on his face as he glanced once at me and then turned down the hallway.

I said goodnight to Jasper and warned him that if I woke up to him staring at me, I'd slug him. He did the double-eyed wink and clicked his tongue in understanding.

"Hey," I whispered, shutting the door to Edward's room behind me.

Edward was sitting on the edge of his bed in a pair of loose pajama pants and a grey t-shirt. His posture was stiff—his elbows on his knees and his palms rubbing together in preparation.

"Uh oh," I said with raised eyebrows. "This doesn't look good."

After a hard swallow, he straightened and said, "We should talk about…something."

"Okay," I sighed, sitting next to him on the bed. "What's got you looking like something hot and pointy has been shoved up your ass?"

Both of his eyebrows popped up. "You've been hanging around me too much. That is something that I would have fucking said."

I grabbed his hand and squeezed. "I don't think that it's possible to hang around you too much."

The smile melted off his face as he stared hard into my eyes. There was so much emotion there, between us and around us; it was thick and I felt like I could easily reach my hand out and grab a handful of it: There was regret and pain and unshed tears but on the flipside, there was laughter and comfort and respect. Whatever it was that developed between us couldn't be described with one single word or label; the connection was too deep and too raw. I couldn't imagine feeling anything more piercing than what I felt for the man sitting beside me.

"I, uh, care about you a lot Bella and…I mean, you know that but I think that while we are away from each other, we should just be friends." My mouth dropped open and I sucked in a breath. "It's not that I don't want to, you know, be with you…it's just that…fuck!"

"What are you trying to say?" I couldn't keep the annoyance out of my tone especially since the night before he'd been telling me how sorry he was that he's told me to leave months ago.

He groaned, stood up sharply and started pacing as his hand tried desperately to tug at invisible hair. "I don't want to hold you back from…anything, Bella."

"What are you holding me back from?"

"I don't fucking know! I guess, I don't want to keep you from…moving on with your life." He rubbed his face with his palms and sighed through his fingers. "It's going to be rough, with you on one side of the country and I'm on the other. I just don't want…when this is all over, I'll move wherever you want me to but for right now—"

A figurative light bulb went off over my head. "Is this about the phone call I got tonight on our way home?"

The split second glance from him gave me confirmation and I sighed. "That and other things," he replied.

"What other things?"

He cleared his throat as he continued wearing a path on the carpet. "Jasper is going with you and if you…if he…"

My eyes widened and I grimaced. "You're afraid that I'm going to fall for Jasper?"

His eyes narrowed as he stopped pacing. "Who's Ben?"

"Ben is a guy that I went out on a date with last week; actually, it was the day before I came to Chicago. It was something that was sort of part of my therapy but there's nothing there." I walked over to him, his eyes following my movement. "You're not holding me back from anything. In fact, I think you're doing just the opposite, you're pushing me forward."

After some knuckle-meets-scruff and some more erratic pacing, he said, "Don't you think that it would be better for you if we didn't—?"

I cut him off. "No, I don't." Frustrated, he opened his mouth to argue but I kept talking. "I can't do the 'friend' thing with you, Edward." His mouth snapped shut. "When I first moved here, straight from Oklahoma, you were there! When I was at my weakest and most vulnerable, you were there! When he came back for me, you were there! I'll be damned if I'm not going to be fucking happy for the first time in a really long time and you aren't there with me! You're either all in or all out because I can't do it half-assed!"

He took a small step toward me, swallowing hard and staring into my eyes. Probably, he was gauging whether or not I was going to kiss him or swing at him. My eyes were wide and my heart was pounding in my chest.

"So, you're not giving me a choice?" he asked and if he thought I didn't see the little twitch going on at the corner of his mouth, he was wrong. The man was fighting a grin and I was going to turn it into a huge smile.

"I'm telling you that the thought of being away from you is mentally taxing. What I'm telling you is that no matter how far away you are from me, I'm thinking of you. And when I think about you, I smile and I feel hope and I get this weird—but good—fluttery feeling in my stomach that makes me want to sing horrible love songs from the eighties. What I'm telling you is that I am madly,"—I started walking toward him—"hopelessly,"—his eyes dilated and he fought his grin as I another step—"irrevocably,"—the tip of his tongue swept over his bottom lip as his gaze took in every inch of my face—"unconditionally,"—his hands tightened into fists then relaxed, tightened then relaxed—"in love with you."

I knew was coming as soon as the last word left my mouth. It took two steps for him to be in front of me and half a second for his arms to completely surround my torso. His lips met mine, hungry and impatient and needy; I whimpered into his mouth as his tongue passed over my lips. His teeth tugged, his lips pressed, and his breath flooded through me—for a moment, I thought I was dreaming because I couldn't recall ever being kissed like this before. Then it hit me—Edward was done holding back. He was going to let me in, completely and finally, and the desire to do my celebratory chicken dance was hard to fight. But the way that his fingers gripped at my clothes made my entire body feel like Jell-O and a wobbly chicken dance just wouldn't be pretty.

"Fuck, Bella…" His hands made their way to my ass and he lifted me up against him. Surprising him—not to mention myself—I wrapped my arms around his neck and jumped on him, straddling his hips with my thighs. He grunted through the kiss and walked us over to the bed.

We landed in a heap of strangled breath, clumsy hands and synchronized moans. His body between my knees felt so right and so good. I wanted to stay like this, with his lips on my cheek, on my neck, on my collarbone but his hand going up my shirt and around my breast gave me a better idea. I rolled over so that I was on top of him and let myself feel him, all of him. Every inch of my body was pulled tight, like a rubber band that had been stretched to its limits; any second I felt like I might break and just start ripping clothes off both of our bodies.

With his hand on my cheek, he gently guided my face from his and he offered me the smile that I'd worked so hard for. His thumb traced my nose, my lips and then my chin as I panted above him.

"I don't know when it happened," he said. "It could have been that first day you went running with me; it could have been the night you socked me in the nose; hell, it could have been the day that I sent you away but all I know is that I love you, Bella Swan. It doesn't matter what I have to give up or where I have to go but I fucking swear to you that I'm going to do everything in my power to give you a reason to smile every fucking day."

I whimpered because, God damn, that was good to hear.

He sat up, and yanked his shirt over his head; my eyes drank in his body as he lowered himself back down. My fingers moved slowly over the hard muscles of his abdomen as his chest rose and fell with each quick breath. His eyes were glazed over with passion and surrender as my lips met the soft skin just under his belly button. As my tongue peeked out and tasted him, he hissed and ran his fingers gently through my hair. Every atom in my body was bursting with anticipation and curiosity as I kissed my way up his rib cage and straight to his nipple. When my lips reached the tiny hard pebble on his chest, I didn't think about what I was supposed to do or what was considered normal. I ran my tongue across it, feeling the tiny hardness rolling over my tongue did something fantastic to my body—especially when he groaned and jerked his hips in response.

"You're going to kill me with that tongue," he murmured softly.

I giggled as I took his nipple between my teeth and nibbled gently.

"And your teeth," he panted, "Jesus…Fuck!"

Between the sound of his moans and the way that he was moving underneath me, the ache between my legs was deliciously painful. His cock was right where it needed to be as I rocked over him, moaning as the friction made him arch his hips. My breath was broken and heavy as it was released from my throat, and I sat up; his nipple escaped from my mouth with a soft sucking sound.

He didn't waste time getting my shirt over my head and his eyes widened at my bare chest. His touch was soft as he cupped both of my breasts; the rough skin of his hands was a luscious contrast to the soft swells of my chest. I pushed myself into his hands and gave my body to him. Everything about him called to me, drew me to him like a moth to a fiery flame.

"You are so damn beautiful," he whispered. "Do you have any idea how fucking beautiful you are?"

I moved over him in response because it was the only kind of answer that I could conjure up at the moment. He groaned and flipped me over onto my back, cradling my head in his large palm and moving his other hand down to the elastic of my pants. He removed them quickly but took time with my panties, kissing a path from my hips to my ankles and then back up again. I wiggled and squirmed at every brush of his tongue against my skin and every nibble from his teeth. The noises that came out of me made me self-conscious but then he'd kiss a little higher up my thigh and I'd completely forget what I was embarrassed about.

"You deserve…"—kiss—"…to be…"—kiss—"worshipped, Bella. If I don't make you scream tonight…"—nibble, lick, kiss—"I'm going to consider myself a failure."

"Then…Oh, God, that feels good…then what?" I asked.

I met his eyes as he looked up at me, his face inches away from the apex of my thighs. His smile was brilliant. "Because, then I have to try and try again."

His lips brushed over the crease of my thigh. "Well," I panted, "I think I'm going to keep my screams to a minimum."

"Even if I succeed, it's guaranteed to be an addictive sound."

"Oh," I breathed, "okay, then."

As he chuckled, a whoosh of warm breath washed over my sensitive flesh and I closed my legs a little in response because now there were a whole new set of worries flooding through my brain: What if I didn't smell good? When the fuck did I shave last? Where was I supposed to put my hands? Did he really want to—?

The feel of his hands on my thighs, spreading my legs wider made my brain panic but then he put his mouth on me; all thoughts of anything other than the warmth of his lips and the movement of his tongue ceased in my head. My body had been ignited by his hands and his mouth and his words and nothing was going to keep me from moving forward. I squirmed and arched and bucked my hips; the noises now a constant as they bounced off the plaster walls of his bedroom.

This…this was what it was supposed to be about…

The muscles in my stomach tightened as his fingers slowly slid into me. The movement of his digits was slow but powerful and I could feel the ache consuming me as he licked and sucked and pumped. He groaned against me and it was my undoing; I let out a struggling moan as I tightened and flexed around his fingers. My entire body snapped taut with the shudder that ran through me.

"Oh God," I sighed as he kissed his way up my body. "That was incredible."

"It's not over yet," he said with a lazy grin.

He brought his lips to mine and kissed me hard. At some point, he'd taken his pants off and I could feel him hard against my thigh. So close, so close… I was astounded at how profoundly the panic in my brain was outweighed by my desire to have him inside me. I wanted to feel him push into me, stretch me as I accepted him, body and soul. He broke the kiss and looked at me, the green nearly taken over by black as his chest heaved for oxygen. With a little effort, I pulled my leg out from underneath his weight and surrounded his hips with my knees—a silent confirmation that I was more than ready to take him in.

His sigh was throaty and he grinned down at me, tenderly moving a strand of hair from my forehead. "I forgive myself," he whispered.

My eyes widened. "What?"

"I'm done with the past, Bella, and what happened is just going to have to stay there." With my palms on his cheeks, I pulled his lips to mine and kissed him hard, enamored with the revelation that he'd just thrown at me. I could feel him adjusting his position, moving deeper between my legs. His erection was pressing at my entrance and I sucked in a breath. His brows pinched together as he watched the anticipation dance on my features. "Are you okay? We don't have to—"

"Edward," I groaned, "if you back out now, I'm going kill you." I pushed up and kissed him and moved my hips so that the tip of his cock was inside of me; I needed to make it clear what I wanted. "My past is tossed right along with yours, Edward."

He sighed. "I just don't want—"

I couldn't take it. Using pure surprise and as much strength as I could muster, I pushed him off me with a hand on his chest. I rolled with him and straddled his stomach.

"Fuck, Bella…"

With determination, I reached between my legs and wrapped my hand around him. Slowly, I pumped up and down, watching his face and listening to his glorious chorus of moans and soft curses. Then I aligned him perfectly to the promised land and lowered myself on him. The fullness was expected and the way his body responded wasn't a shock but how absolutely glorious is felt was what made my breath hitch. I sat up on him, reveling in the sight of him underneath me. The muscles in his stomach and chest flexed as he moved his hands over my thighs, my hips and my breasts.

He groaned when I started moving over him, cursing under his breath and rubbing my nipples with his rough palms. The friction from his pelvis was extraordinary and I could feel the tingle between my legs each time I slid over him.

"You own me," he murmured.

The muscles surrounding him, clenched and I cried out his name as I came. I put my hands on his chest and panted, trying to summon up the energy to keep going. He had other ideas. With his hands on my back, he pulled me to his chest and rolled so that he was on top of me again. I spread my legs wide and gasped when he took my nipple into his mouth and sucked hard. His thrusting quickened; my nails dug into his back.

"I want to be inside you every day and every night for the rest of my life," he murmured softly against my nipple. "You have no idea how good it feels to make love to you, Bella. You have no clue what it feels like when you explode around me." His thrusts came harder and the sound of his skin meeting mine made me moan out an incoherent reply. When he spilled into me, he arched his neck and groaned. Keeping himself propped up on one elbow, he started kissing me—my forehead, my cheeks, my neck. He was bathing me in his love.

"I love you, Edward," I whispered.

"Mmm…" he hummed as he looked up at me. "Say it again."

I giggled. "I love you."

"I love you, Bella." He said, and then rolled us so that my head was resting on his chest; my cheek on the wolf. I settled my hand on his stomach and wrapped my leg around his thigh.

"I don't know if I can let you go again," he said. "I should just say fuck it and go with you."

"That sounds nice." I smiled against the inked wolf and nuzzled my nose against the soft hairs of his chest. "You'd regret it though, Edward."

He pulled me tightly to him. "I'd never regret it."

"Don't you think that you need closure?" I asked.

He sighed. "It won't be for long but when everything is…over in Peoria, I'm moving to wherever you are."

"What if I move here to Chicago?"

"I don't give a fuck where you are, I'm going to be following along like a little pathetic puppy dog."

I giggled. "Can I put you on a leash?"

He was silent for a moment before answering, "As long as it's attached to one of those bad ass spiked collars. And you can't dress me up or anything. And I get to pee anywhere I want."

I looked up at him and raised my eyebrows. "You've thought about this a little too much."

He shrugged. "It's every guy's dream to just whip it out and piss wherever he wants to. You'd do the same damn thing if you could aim."

"Oh Jeez," I replied. "Talk to me about something else."

"What do you want to talk about?"

I rose up on an elbow and ran my fingertip over his nipple. "You really forgave yourself?"

A smirk broke free on his beautiful face. "I did. I'm done with it."

"When did you realize…"

He sighed and ran his hand through my hair. "Did I ever tell you what the last thing Alice said to me was?" I shook my head. "She told me that she hated me."

"What?"

"Yeah, she was so pissed off that I embarrassed her in front of all those people at that party that she told me she hated me. I told her that I didn't care, as long as she was safe. Those words have haunted me, Bella, knowing how angry she was at me when she died and how I told her that I didn't care." I opened my mouth to argue but he pressed his finger to my lips to silence me. "I know, I know, she said it in the heat of passion and all that shit…I know but I couldn't let it go until…"

"Until?"

"Until I took that walk at the Wolf Reservation," he said. "I came across a little bench and I sat down, just for a few minutes, and I remembered a conversation I'd had with Alice. We had sat on that same bench, eating really bad pizza and talking about the stupidest shit." He chuckled at the memory and I couldn't help but laugh with him, as if I had been there with them. "She told me that day that I was the best brother in the world. She said that even though I complained about taking her out there, I still did it. I got extra big brother points for letting her listen to her music in the car."

"That was nice that she told you that," I said.

His eyes narrowed in thought. "It wasn't so much her words but I remembered the way she looked at me...and it wasn't just that day. Even when we'd get into fights, she'd still look at me like…like I was someone she wanted to be one day."

I ran my finger down his jaw. "She looked up to you and she loved you."

"It was hard for me to realize that but she did and I can't let her down. The man I was a year ago wouldn't have gotten that look. Pity, yes but adoration, no."

"I'm proud of you," I said, kissing the skin on his collarbone.

"I owe everything to you, Bella."

"No, you don't—"

"Yes, I do."

We lay in each other's arms for the next several minutes in silence, relishing in the body warmth of the other.

"Did you lock the door? I don't want to wake up staring at Jasper again."

Edward grunted and dragged the sheet up past my shoulders with his hand.

"Well, if he does, you won't have to worry about taking him back to Forks."

"Why?"

"Because I'd fucking kill him."

A/N: Next chapter, we get more conversations with Rose and Esme and Carlisle. A little Emmett and the kids too. :)

Sooo...we got the first ILY from Edward. What was your favorite part of the chapter? The declaration or the penetration? Hee hee. How many people are out there yelling, "It's about fucking time!" LOL!

Thank you for all your reviews! I try to reply to all of them but I know a few slip by me and I forget! Sorry about that! :) I'm donating a piece to The Fandom for Special Olympics compilation - does anyone have any ideas that they'd like to see me write? It doesn't have to be related to CMNtD but I was thinking of donating the epilogue. This is a cause that is VERY near and dear to my heart so it's going to be something that I'm hoping readers will give at least $5 for. I'll post the link on my profile but give me an idea of what you want me to write? A O/S? An EPOV of a certain part of this story? An outtake of some of the other characters? Something completely different? I'm a wordy bitch so a O/S might be difficult but I'll make it work! I appreciate any and all ideas! THANK YOU!