What's He Got?
CJ/Danny, Charlie/Zoey, Nancy/OMC
Rating Older Teen –
Spoilers through end of series
Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul
Feedback and criticism always welcomed
July 23, 2015; Santa Monica, CA; 1:15 PM PDT
"Why cwib, Daddy?"
Caitlin Concannon was confused.
Right before Christmas, Mama and Daddy told her that she was a big girl now and shouldn't be sleeping in the room next to their room. She was going to sleep in a real bed in the room where Mama had her office, the room that shared a bathroom with Paddy's bedroom. Mama would move her desk and the other office things into the nursery where Caitlin had been sleeping. If Caitlin was a brave, good, big girl and stayed in her new room and her new bed, Santa would bring her all sorts of nice things for her big girl room.
So Caitlin tried very hard. She didn't cry and call out for Mama or Daddy at night (well, maybe just once or twice, and Daddy was really nice, bringing her a glass of water and casting a spell to kill the monster in the closet). She held on tight to the caveman doll that her cousin Aisling gave her for her birthday; she also held onto Destiny when the yellow lab, knowing before anyone else that Caitlin needed to feel safe, left her brother's room, came through the Jack-and-Jill bathroom, and jumped onto Caitlin's bed. Maybe she was a little afraid of all the strange and terrifying people and the mean horsies who came to her room in the middle of the night, but she didn't let anyone else know.
Mama and Daddy were right. Santa brought her a nice little bench with a soft padded top to put next to her bedroom window, so she could sit and look outside at the flowers, the birdies, and the ocean, or look through her books and pretend to read. Santa brought her a doll house, and not one made out of metal like Maggie's, but a much nicer one, made out of wood with real glass and real curtains for the windows, and little carpets and furniture that Caitlin could rearrange to suit herself. (It wasn't as nice as Pammy's, with closet doors that opened and closed, with lots of dolly clothes that Uncle Hank sewed hanging on little hangers, but Paddy told her to keep that to herself.) And Santa brought her a table and chair set, and a really nice tea set. She and Daddy had a standing date, whatever that was, to have tea every Thursday afternoon.
So why was Daddy putting a crib (not her crib, that was over with Miss Nancy and Mr. Jesse, but a smaller one) in her room?
"This is Chi'an's travelling crib, sweetie; we borrowed it for Marigail. She's going to be sleeping in here with you," Danny smiled at his little girl.
"Miss Zoey and Mr. Charlie sleep wif you and Mama?"
Danny started to chuckle and then quickly swallowed.
"They'll be in the guest room, next to the garage, Caitlin," Danny answered his daughter. Locking the last side of the portable crib into place, he picked up the mattress and placed it on the supports, then reached for the waterproof mattress pad and the fitted crib sheet.
"Why speakers? Me big girl."
"Yes you are, precious. We're going to set them up for Miss Zoey and Mr. Charlie to listen for Marigail, in case she cries."
"Me big girl. Me take care Mar-gail," Caitlin stated emphatically, then rubbed her eyes and yawned.
"Come on, sweetie. Let's go sit outside and wait for everyone." Danny knew that Caitlin, "big girl" that she considered herself, would not react well to the idea of a nap, and rather than insist, Danny decided to take the sneaky way out. CJ and Paddy had taken Destiny to the vet for her annual checkup and shots; the Young's were scheduled to arrive around 4:30. Caitlin might not want a nap, but her father sure did, so he picked up his daughter, carried her to the courtyard, and set her on the extra wide chaise lounge. He positioned the umbrella to protect them from the sun and sat down beside her. Holding the little feminine image of himself against his side, he started to tell her an age appropriate and highly sanitized story about Grace O'Malley. Five minutes later, Caitlin was softly snoring against her father's chest. Five minutes after that, Danny's snores joined those of his daughter.
3:30 PM
CJ smiled at the sight of the two tousled red heads, one fading and peppered with grey, the other brilliant crimson, slumbering in front of her. She reached for her cell and managed to snap a picture before Paddy came tearing into the courtyard, Destiny close on his heels, and the resulting "Daddy! We got crabs!" and yapping woke the sleepers.
Danny looked at his watch. He would have thought them to be home earlier than this.
"Everything's okay with the furkid?" he asked, a bit of concern in his eyes.
"She's about as perfect as a dog can be, Danny. Afterward, when we stopped at the wharf to get the crab for tonight, we decided to eat lunch there and then we had I-C-E-C-R-E-A-M," CJ spelled, not wanting to set off cries of perceived deprivation on Caitlin's part. "Everything's ready for tonight, or will be as soon as I get this stuff in the fridge. I did the guest room last night and you were supposed to get the crib set up."
CJ didn't want to go into a long explanation, but she felt the need to give Paddy a little bit of "alone time with Mama". Or maybe she felt the need for a little "alone time with Paddy" for herself, truth be told. It seemed like only last year that she, an infant Paddy, Danny, Aisling, and Hogan did their beach vacation at Rehoboth and now Paddy was going to start first grade in about six weeks. Ricky Feldman was only two years older than Paddy and last week she heard him tell the other boys that spending time with your mother was "grosser than gross".
"It's not a problem, love; I was just a little concerned. Being Irish, I always prepare for the worst," Danny joked.
"Mama, Daddy, can we swim?" Paddy interrupted them.
"I don't know. Can we?" Danny smiled at his son.
"May we swim?"
Danny looked at CJ, his eyes saying "okay by me if it's okay by you."
"Go change," CJ laughed, taking Caitlin from her husband's side and heading toward her daughter's room. "We'll join you in a few."
4:30 PM
"Oh, God, that looks great! I wish I remembered what suitcase our swim stuff was in."
Danny looked up to see Zoey, Charlie, and little Marilyn Abigail peering into the pool area from outside the fence.
"No problem, we'll lend you some things, right, CJ? I'm sure the drive down from Palo Alto was hot and tiring." Danny went to open the gate for the Young's, giving Zoey a kiss and Charlie a bear hug as they came in.
Fifteen minutes later, everyone was back in the pool, except for Danny, who was pouring margaritas for the adults. Charlie was describing the drive from Palo Alto to Santa Monica as "dull and boring but at least it's over" (the Young's had taken the inland route). In response, CJ told him that their trip back, when they would visit with Bonnie and Jean-Luc in San Luis Obispo, and then spend a night in Big Sur before returning to Ellie and Vic's place, would be breathtaking, "and you're doing it the right way, driving on the inside of the cliff road."
Danny brought their drinks to the side of the pool and they drifted to the shallow end, laughing as Caitlin tried to show Marigail how to dog paddle. The two little girls, with both water wings and inner tubes, splashed delightedly.
"Why does she like the pool so much when she hates taking a bath?" Zoey wondered.
"Maybe because you always give Marigail her baths at night?" CJ answered. "When Paddy was born, Diana told me to bathe him during the day, so he wouldn't associate baths with bedtime. It seems to have worked."
"Thanks, I'll try having bath time in the morning. Speaking of bedtime, maybe I should put her down for a nap?"
"I don't know, Zoey, she doesn't look that tired to me." CJ looked over at the two little girls. "If you keep her up now, she might go to sleep easier tonight. Then the four of us can spend more time catching up, once the little ones are in bed."
"Okay, CJ, you're the expert."
"The thing is," Charlie interjected, "don't count on Zoey and me making it a long night. As tired as we are, we'll probably crash by 10:00, 10:30 at the latest. We have a hard time adjusting to time zone changes."
"That's fine. CJ and I have had a long day, and we won't be interested in a late night either," Danny said. Then he looked over at CJ and smiled.
CJ set down her drink and quickly ducked under the water. The wet coolness felt good on her hot, blushing face and shoulders. As she held her breath, she remembered how Danny woke her at dawn, nuzzling the nape of her neck with his soft beard and mustache and then, turning her onto her back, proceeded to take her arching off the bed three times with the same facial hair expertly applied to a different part of her body before taking his own satisfaction.
Good sex was only one part of the incredible relationship she had with her man, but it was a very important part. She knew that when their relationship first became public knowledge at the end of the Bartlet administration, many people who knew her only slightly, or merely knew of her, wondered what she saw in Danny. She knew that many men asked themselves the same question that Tad Whitney asked out loud ("That scruffy reporter; what's he got have that I don't have?").
Had she felt like answering Tad, or anyone else, she would have told about Danny's unconditional love, his insistence that her fears not keep them from finding this wonderful new life together. She would have told of his kisses, soft and gentle yet firm and demanding, kisses that from the very beginning foretold the nature of the man who gave them. She would have told of his willingness to let her fly into new things while making sure that she was grounded in her husband, her family, and her friends; she would have told of Danny managing to revel in being the sole source of income for the family while still treating her as a full and equal partner in their marriage.
But the way she felt in Danny's bed was something she would share with only a very few people; come to think of it, those few people knew without being told.
Next day; mid-morning; kitchen of Nancy and Jesse Muñoz
"Please, Nancy, don't bother with coffee; tea is fine, isn't it, CJ?" Zoey looked over to the older woman, who was nodding her head up and down. Ten minutes ago, Danny and Charlie had chased them out of the house. ("We'll handle the kids," Danny said as he poured pancake batter on the griddle.)
"If you're sure. I do have it, decaf of course. It's just that right now, the smell sets me off, or rather, sets Bumpkin off," Nancy smiled as she put a hand on her slightly protruding stomach.
"Believe me, I understand," CJ said. "With me, it was chili. Here, let me help you with that." CJ took the little tray with assorted decaffeinated and herbals teas and the plate of bagels from Nancy, leaving her to carry the tea kettle. Zoey got the mugs from the counter and brought them to the table. The three women made their choices from the selection and prepared their beverages.
"Are you having a lot of morning sickness?" Zoey asked.
"Just a little, and it's all first thing in the morning," Nancy replied.
"For me, I don't know why they called it 'morning sickness'; I was sick morning, noon, and night," CJ laughed.
"You're due early December?" Zoey asked as Nancy nodded in the affirmative. "Charlie has a conference at UCLA in the beginning of October. CJ, if y'all have the shower then, I'd love to come."
"I don't want a shower," Nancy said quickly. "I don't want to take the chance, not after - . I just want the next four and a half months to go by quickly. I'm so scared." The last sentence was spoken in barely a whisper.
CJ and Zoey both reached over to grasp Nancy's arms.
"I didn't relax until after the first set of Apgar scores," Zoey said. "Even though Mom kept telling me that my miscarriage was a fluke and that everything was perfectly fine with Marigail."
"Me, too," CJ added. "Especially since with the twins - " , her voice broke, remembering how total joy turned to total terror in the blink of an eye, after what had been, as far as Scott and everyone else knew was a normal delivery.
The three women sat in silence, each remembering their individual loss, remembering how miraculous the process of bringing new life into the world really is.
"I can't help but wonder what I might have done wrong," Nancy went on. CJ and Zoey nodded in agreement. "My mom, Jesse's mom, everyone tells me to not think that way. Well, everyone except Jesse's great-aunt Imelda. She says I should have quit my job as soon as I found out I was pregnant. Jesse told her to shut up. I don't know how I could have made it without him."
"Charlie was my rock."
"Somehow, Danny was able to mourn and be strong for me at the same time."
"Anyway," Nancy said brightly, determined to alter the mood of the conversation and forget, if only for a few minutes, the loss she and Jesse suffered at Christmas, "Diana, Mom, and Mrs. Muñoz know not to let anyone plan anything. I don't even want any used baby things until this little one is safely out in the world.
"But let's change the subject. Bonnie tells me that the Santos' will be coming to San Luis Obispo in ten days. They're really excited about starting to work with 'Road to a Better World'. Sarita Hollis has found them a place to lease in a gated community just outside of town and the Secret Service approved. Matt and Helen want to take their time before deciding on whether or not to move there permanently."
"I know. Helen called me last week. She wanted to know about traveling to Africa, what sort of clothes to take, did I think that Peter and Miranda would get anything out of tagging along on some of the trips or would they just get in the way. Of course, I never had that issue; Paddy was way too young to take half-way around the world."
"CJ, it's still hard for me to believe that you gave it all up so easily," Zoey said. "I mean, I was just a French and Italian teacher in a small school and I needed to get back into it after a few months, if only part-time. And I know how much Mom chafed when she wasn't practicing medicine for those two or three years. You ran the country for my father and then you ran the project for Frank Hollis. You really don't miss it?"
"I miss being with the people; they were, they are a truly amazing group. Maybe it's because it demanded so much, mentally and emotionally. Right now, this is fun. Maybe it's because I didn't have my mother around, but I like to think that Paddy and Caitlin are glad to have me. Maybe it's because I'm lazy at heart and I like not having to put on a bra and heels every day. People are different. Helen Santos really came into her own with her 'Village People' initiative and her efforts to make the White House a family-friendly work environment, but she really hadn't done anything outside the home for the last four years of Matt's time in the House. Your mother kept up her career, at least until the MS came out, while being First Lady. But look at Morgan. She was a high profile lawyer before Gabe Tillman, God rest his soul, picked Sam for lieutenant governor. Now she doesn't practice anymore, but she's responsible for the efforts to get more pro bono work for adoption cases and other civil matters that folks who can't afford lawyers might need. She's always involved in lots of community projects, even with the new baby (Donald Leo Seaborn came into the world in March.) When these ten years are done, I'm sure that she will have thought her efforts worthwhile."
"And who knows what might happen in '18," Nancy said.
"We can only hope," CJ said. "I would love to see Sam and her in the White House."
"From your lips to God's ear," Nancy laughed. Then, as a buzzer went off, she stood up, reached for a bowl on the counter, and began to punch down the dough that had risen in it.
"Whatcha making?" Zoey asked.
"Pan dulce for Sally's birthday party tonight. I've got my grandmother's recipe down pat. Wait till you taste it."
"I won't be there, remember? Charlie and I are having dinner with my G'town classmate Stacey; she's in Marina del Rey. Can you send one back with CJ and Danny?"
"Better she sends one over before the party," CJ answered. "I've had Nancy's pan dulce and it won't last much over forty-five minutes.
"Oh, I talked with Donna yesterday. The six of them have really settled into the beach life. She told me she can count on two hands the number of times she's worn a bra since school let out."
"Really?" Nancy asked.
"Really. Trips to the grocery and two date nights with Josh. And the two times with Josh are the only times she's put on makeup or worn something other than shorts."
"Well, she definitely has the figure for the shorts," Zoey said.
"Come on, Zoey, you can't be more than an eight," Nancy teased.
"In shorts and pants, I'm a ten. I carry it all in my thighs. It's all muscle, I've taken up field hockey again."
"I'm sure Charlie doesn't mind the muscles."
"CJ!" Zoey exclaimed (but she smiled as she blushed).
"Margaret says that John is turning her into a cow hand. She's helped move the herd twice since April. Brian and Hoop love the cowboy life," CJ continued. "Even Bruno joined in when he came down to visit last month."
"It's good for Brian that the two of them get along, and that Bruno and John get along, isn't it?" Zoey commented. "Liz says that she tries to be cordial with Doug's girl friend, even though she's closer to Annie's age, but that Nina doesn't respond to her overtures."
Rick was taking Ginger on a month-long Mediterranean extravaganza, with time in Cannes, Naples, the coast of Turkey, a week on a yacht in the Adriatic, and a week on a private island in the Aegean. Zoey, Nancy, and CJ all agreed that they would not be surprised if Ginger found the trip to be "expanding" in more ways than one.
The Ziegler family was spending some time at the Bartlet farm. "They hadn't said anything when we were up there, right before we flew into San Jose, but Andy was glowing and Toby was grinning a lot, so I think there may be another Bartlet baby in a few months," Zoey confided.
Apparently, Nancy McNally and the Canadian Minister of Foreign Affairs had developed a rapport that went well beyond their professional lives. The two of them were seen vacationing on St. Lucia; pictures taken by paparazzi with telephoto lenses had been printed in tabloids and news weeklies.
"Good for her," CJ said. "She deserves some happiness in her life."
"I always thought she was a beautiful woman," Nancy replied. "Ginger, Bonnie, Cathy, and I wanted to stage an intervention and get rid of those 'nun in modern dress suits', have her hair done, that sort of thing. Once, Mrs. Landingham overheard us talking about it and I thought she was going to yell at us, but she just said that it wasn't the worst idea in the world. God, it's been, what, fifteen years and I still miss her. Delores Landingham and you, CJ, you two were the role models for the rest of us."
"She was always so dignified," Zoey mused. "I doubt my father ever called her by her first name."
"No one ever did," Nancy agreed.
There was a knock on the door. It was Charlie, holding his crying daughter.
"Someone wants her Mommy."
Apparently, Paddy and Destiny got a little too rambunctious playing with each other and bumped the little toddler to the ground when she tried to join in.
After Zoey kissed her daughter's "owies", CJ suggested that they take the kids down to the beach and the pier for a few hours. They asked Nancy to join them, but she said she needed her rest before Sally's party. Charlie and Danny talked Steve and Ken Robbins into a round of golf, so Pammy joined the beach expedition. At first, Paddy was not too happy about being inundated by "all the baby girls", but when told that, "assuming Aunt Diana says it's okay", Maggie could join them, he changed his tune.
11:15 PM
Danny looked around and, seeing no one else close by, reached over, quickly kissed CJ's bare shoulder, and said, "Thank you for wearing this dress. I always loved you in it."
"I'm just glad I can still fit into it after six years," CJ giggled. The turquoise blue sundress with the spaghetti straps was the one she had bought at Rehoboth the summer that Paddy was born. She was wearing it with the same southwestern silver jewelry she had bought in Delaware, but in place of the white sandals, she had put silver straps on her switch flops. "And you always say you like me in my clothes, or out of them (CJ skipped away as Danny took a playful swing at her butt). Is there anything you don't like?"
"Just the turtlenecks," Danny replied as he grabbed her hand again, the one he had dropped when he swatted her ass. "I love your neck, your shoulders. Anyway, it's such a beautiful night, isn't it? And wasn't that a great party?" Danny asked as he swung CJ's hand back and forth. The two of them were slowly making their way from the Rogers' house at the head of the block to their own place, three doors down.
"Yes, it was. You need to throw me a party like that."
"But, my beloved, you'll not be seeing forty again in this lifetime, or fifty, for that matter."
"Neither will you, Fishboy. But who says we can't celebrate sixty, or seventy?"
"No one. By the way, I'm sorry I left you alone for so long."
"Be sorry for Drew Robbins' fiancée; I talked her ear off about what's wrong with Haffley," CJ laughed. "You, Frank, and Jesse seemed to be in your own little world. May I ask what you were discussing?"
"Someone nominated Jesse as a possible candidate for the permanent diaconate and he's trying to decide if he has the vocation. Fr. Luke told him to talk to a couple of guys like Joe Wolfe and Tony Rutherford, who decided 'yes', and a couple who said 'no', so he picked Frank and me. So we were telling him how we came to our decisions that we didn't have the calling."
"I know your reasons; (CJ and Danny had weighed the issues nine months ago, when Fr. Luke had come to Danny with the question) what did Frank say?"
"Frank feels that his active military status is an issue. You're supposed to be able to continue in your chosen profession and fulfill your role as a deacon at the same time. Frank is very much aware that he could be called to serve overseas on a moment's notice and that the guys and gals over there don't need someone to baptize babies, perform weddings, and preside over funerals. They need a priest who can hear confessions and consecrate bread and wine. As a dentist, Jesse wouldn't have that possibility.
"However, Frank also talked about accepting all the ramifications of the vows, especially the part about not being able to remarry should he be widowed. Frank related it to the folks who join the reserves for the money and then get upset if and when they're called to active duty. And I think I really through him for a loop when I told him that I couldn't accept the idea that, if something were to happen to you, I could never marry again. He said he couldn't conceive of the idea of marrying another woman if he were to lose Nancy. He wanted to know how you reacted to the idea that I would consider finding someone else if anything happened to you."
"And you told him?"
"A less detailed, less intimate version of what I told you when I finally told you about what was bothering me so much three years ago, when I thought that something would happen to me and that I wanted you to find someone else, well, actually, I wanted you to marry Paul, because I felt that you needed a man in your life and that my children needed a father. I told him that I would leave myself open to what God had in mind for me. I talked about Paul, and Clara. Neither of them were dating, neither of them were searching, but they found each other and, to all appearances, are having a wonderful 'rest of their lives' with each other, without taking away from their lives with Alicia and Cosmo. I told him that I felt that Jessica was making a mistake, refusing to consider the idea of someone else in her life," Danny answered.
"Just between you and me, I think that once Cindy goes off to college, Jessica will find herself changing. The fact that she decided she needed to 'do something' and is working with Nancy indicates that. Jessica has a longer 'grief period' than other folks."
"Maybe. In any event, both Frank and I told Jesse to take his time, to discuss it with Nancy, and not to make any decisions until after the baby is born. The diaconate will always be there."
The couple had reached their house and entered the courtyard.
CJ went to check on Paddy, Caitlin, and Marigail while Danny watched the last out of the Dodgers-Mets game with Aaron Feldman, who had been sitting with the children. After paying the young man, Danny stood outside and watched as Aaron crossed the street and walked up the block to his parents' house. At fifteen, Danny was not going to embarrass the boy by walking him home, but he felt that he owed it to Joel and Hannah to make sure that the teenager got home safely. Then Danny checked the locks, made sure that a light was still on for Charlie and Zoey, and made his own little surveillance of the kids.
CJ was just coming out of the bath when Danny entered their bedroom. Danny took in the sight of her in her white cotton night gown. The darker coloring of her nipples and the triangle at the top of her thighs showed through the light-weight fabric and he felt himself stirring with desire. The want must have been displayed on his face, because CJ smiled and blushed slightly.
"I won't be long," Danny said softly and headed toward the bathroom.
Danny took a quick dash under the shower, brushed his teeth, and put on his own seasonal sleepwear, a pair of Kelly green gauze pajama pants.
Returning to the bedroom, Danny saw that CJ was at the dresser, her back to him. Danny saw that CJ's back was shaking and he heard the stifled sobs. Concerned, he approached his wife.
She was looking at the little box that held their mementos of their first-born sons, gazing at the tiny handprint in clay, touching the little locks of hair.
"Darling?"
She told him of the conversation this morning, as she, Zoey, and Nancy talked about their losses and their fears during the pregnancies following those losses.
Wordlessly, Danny pulled CJ into his arms and held her, sharing the grief that although had mellowed, was always in the back of their life together.
As she lowered her head to Danny's shoulder, CJ remembered telling Simon Donovan that his height made her feel feminine. She remembered that until that time, the only other man who had made her feel that way was Paul, the only other man who towered over her height.
Until Danny. Danny was her height, maybe a smidgeon of on inch shorter. But she never felt anything other than feminine, anything other than cherished and protected, with Danny. It was something else that Danny had, that the others, the Tads, the Bens, didn't.
"Come."
Danny pulled her over to the big easy chair, sat down, and pulled her onto his lap. For now, the need to comfort would take precedence over the need to need. For now, he would hold her in his arms. He was a patient man. He had waited eight years for her once. A few minutes of solace was nothing in the grand scheme of things.
CJ sat there, letting Danny's care and concern soothe her. She knew that in a little while, the kisses on her hair would move to her mouth and the hand on her back would move to her breast. She would feel the little tug that ran from nipple to the folds between her legs and she would feel her husband's arousal stirring against her fanny.
What's he got? More than anyone could ever imagine.