Yeah!! DA HOBO PENGUIN LIVES!!!!!

Feralis: .... what have we learned?

Ahlia: Forbidden likes penguins? With light sabers?

Feralis: Noo.... NEVER suggest a stupid idea to Forbidden, even in sarcasm, because she WILL use it.

Disclaimers: Kingdom Hearts isn't mine! :D

Reiotta: We apologize in advance to Xigbar.

AKA Bigrax.

Reiotta: See what we mean? Enjoy the chapter.......

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Xigbar POV

"Hmm.... Now, who the hell coulda done this?!" I say sarcastically to myself as I notice the giant poster of the Jolly Roger taped up on my door.

Fuckin' Axel.... I'm gonna shoot ya. When.... I get ma coffee....... I get up and yawn. My cell phone rings.

"AAAAXEL!" HE CHANGED THE RING TONE AGAIN!!! FOR THE LAST TIME, I'M NOT A PIRATE!!!! I stop the Pirates of the Caribbean theme song and answer.

"Hello?" I ask.

"Hey Xigbar! I need a favor." A way too familiar voice says.

"Hey Jack. No, I'm NOT gonna give you money. You're just gonna waste it on rum." I tell him, sleepily.

"What if I share the bounty, mate?" Jack Sparrow asks.

"...... .As tempting as that is, Namine caught me with the stuff LAST time. After that, she's makin' me go to some alkies meetin's....... It's hell." I rub my eye and yawn again.

"Sorry mate. No, I need you to take care of something for me."

"............ What?"

I got a bad feelin' bout this........ (to not ruin the surprise, I'm adding a bit of extra scene!)

Third Person POV: Destiny Islands

"DANTE!!" Sora's mother runs to the Takamura's house where Dante, the second oldest is fast asleep on the porch.

"Hey Mrs. M! What's up?" He asks sleepily. Of the three Takamura kids, Dante was by far the strongest but the laziest.

"Sora, Riku, and Kairi have all been brainwashed into a CULT!" Mrs. Minami yells.

"Uh...... What do you want me to do?" He asks. The three kids had trusted him with the TRUE reason they had gone, because they know if they bought him a bribe, Dante'd keep the swear forever. Luckily for Riku, he'd had some left over Hot Cheetoes to bribe his brother with.

"TAKE ME TO THEM! You drove them didn't you?!"

"Uh...... Yeah, but why? They're safe over with the dudes." Dante decides to try to finish his nap. Mrs. Minami has other plans.

"PLEASE!! My little baby all alone!" She wails. She shakes Dante roughly by the shoulders.

"..... Don't cry.... I'll take you to them..... " Dante silently apologizes to his little brother and gets up.

"Lessee..... That thing's around here somewhere...." Dante pulls Mrs. Minami by the arm to a small shed.

"Dante? Your car's over there." She points.

"Yeah, I know. We don't need a car. Fuck......" Dante swears under his breath as he starts to search for the key to the Ultima gummy ship.

*REMEMBER! This one's the strongest of the ships, so DON'T use it!* Riku's voice says in Dante's memory.

*If you have to use it, the gummy key's.....*

"IN THE FLOWER POT!" Dante remembers, pleased. He removes it and ties the string around his wrist.

"Let's go Mrs. M." They both vanish into a hidden cave.

Xigbar POV: World That Never Was

"SAY WHAT?!" I stare at the small cage.

"Just take care of him for a hour, mate. I got to go." Jack makes a run for it.

"JACK YOU NO GOOD MOTHER!" I launch into a long string of swears. Namine comes out wide eyed.

"Xigbar? Did you hurt yourself?" She asks. In answer, I kick the cage at my feet.

"See?" I point. Namine blinks in surprise. Her smile quivers and she starts laughing.

"It's SO CUTE!!!" She howls in laughter.

"......... It's NOT FUNNY! I'M THE ONE WHO HAS TAKE OF IT!!!" I yell. The passed out animal wakes up and squawks at me.

"SHUT IT PARROT! OR I'm gonna use ya for TARGET PRACTICE!" I pull out a Sharpshooter.

"Xigbar! It's not doing anything to you! Leave the poor macaw alone!" Namine defends the giant red bird. I just glare at her.

"YES IT IS!!! IT'S GODDAMN ANNOYIN' ME!" I get ready to fire. Namine opens the cage and the bird gratefully flies up to her shoulder.

"Aww.... He's cute! What's his name?" She asks as she pets the feathered head of the stupid thing.

"...... Jack's friend never named it." I glare at the bird. It flies over and lands on my shoulder.

"...................." Namine giggles.

"Take a freakin' picture, why don't cha?" I retort. She pulls out a phone and snaps a pic.

"IT WAS A JOKE!!"

"But you two look really good together! Can I use this in a sketch?" She asks.

"......... Kay, but...." I pause.

"Namine, when you get a cat?" I pick up the blonde thing. It purrs at me and.... holy shit. IT LOOKS LIKE HER?!

"Do you like her? Her name's Namine! Kairi thought it was really funny so she made me name her Namine Junior." Namine pets the blonde cat.

"Coool. I'm gonna..... go get some coffee." I yawn and walk off, forgetting for a minute that the stupid bird's on my shoulder. BAAAAD mistake.

"..............................OH MY FUCKIN' GAWD!!!" Axel howls in laughter the second I walk into the kitchen.

"Eh? Oh... Da bird?" I point to it.

"Where the hell did Xigbar get a parrot?" Riku asks. He sips from a cup in front of him.

"HEY!!! Do you think it's Xiggy Junior?!" Roxas says with a grin.

"Nope. Whatevah the hell THAT is, this bird belongs to Jack." I sit down and take Axel's plate of toast.

"HEY!" He protests. I give him a glare and pull out Sharpshooter.

"You seriously gonna mess with me, flame boy?" I grin and aim the nozzle at his head.

"N-N-N-No it's cool man." He backs down.

"Damn straight." I get up and wait. Jack comes a few minutes later.

"Hiya Jack!" Roxas greets him.

"Hey, little mate. You got the bird?" I throw it at him and steal his wallet. (Okay, I can't write Jack Sparrow. Been two years since i watch the movies!!)

"I think I deserve a little somethin' extra, don't ya think?" I say as I empty it.

"................." Jack leaves without saying a word.

"Damn right." I say again and glare at Axel. I shoot his foot and walk off. I head through the throne room. What the?!

"Who's this?" I say and pick up a brown puppy.

"Heh.... Looks like Sora. Cool." I grin and put the dog down.

"Where'd all these animals come from? Whatever." I walk through and take a look again.

"Shit, all these look like people I know! I'm goin' crazy...... No more fuckin' rum with Jack." I tell myself and keep going.

"Eh?" I hear a padding noise behind me.

"Axel, I'll shoot ya again! I SWEAR MAN!" I yell and turn around. No one's... there. Then I hear a small mewing noise. I look down.

"..................AWESOME!!" I pick up the cat and grin. It's ME!!! It meows and gets on my head.

"Heh.... I'm gonna show ya that's a bad idea dude." I flip to the ceiling and start running to go find the guys. I look in the throne room.

"Hey Xigbar!" Roxas says and waves. What was empty a few minutes ago, most of the Organization was there. With the exception of... lessee... Xaldin, Saix, and I dunno who else.

"HOLY SHIT! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING?!" I point to a giant dog that I hadn't noticed before.

"....Lexy Junior?" Demyx says innocently.

".....Lexy?" Lexaeus raises a hand.

"Oooh. Well..... Anyone gonna 'splain bout all the animals?" I hold up the cat I found.

"SWEET! Let's take out his eye and then it's REALLY Xigbar!" Axel says excited. I just give him a glare.

"Weird..... It's got a scar right where Bigrax got his." Larxene points out. The cat jumps down from my head and I jump down from the ceiling.

"So uh.... What's the deal with these little dudes?" I point to the mass of cats playing around the giant dog. Xemnas shrugs.

"We actually keep finding them. Ari brought me a pet which coincidentally happened to look like me."

"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMSTER." Axel stretchs out the word. Xemnas pounds the armrest of the chair PISSED off.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Xemnas yells.

"Yo Ari!" I greet the teen playing with a purple cat.

"Hi Xigbar! You wanna go surfing later?" She asks.

"Sure. Ask Demyx along too." I say and son of a gun, here comes a little surfer cat!

"Heh..... Hey, I saw a Sora dog here, where'd he go?" I look around.

"EH?! SORA'S HERE?!" Ari asks excited.

"Yep. Last time I checked, he was up in Roxas' room. Numbah 13."

"LET'S GO WAKE HIM UP!!!!" She has a mischievous grin, I recognize from Axel.

"You got a plan?" She nods.

"Well, damn straight! Let's go!"

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Got something to clarify.

Xigbar and Ari are good friends, cause she sees him as an older cousin or an awesome uncle.

AND!!! I GOT NEWS!!! I FINALLY BEAT CoM!!!!!!

Feralis:.... She kept swearing at Marluxia.

Ahlia: It was kinda funny.

The goddamn boy just wouldn't DIE!!

Reiotta: She's working on Reverse mode. And... says something on Riku's got class?

Hell yeah, he does.

Dude's.... Better! Faster! Stronger! *song starts playing*

Gaia: In the next episode! Mrs. Minami discovers the truth!

Sovreigna: AWESOME! Grandma's comin'. She's gonna find out the truth on Dad's.... Keybladerness......

All:See ya! *waves good bye*