Chapter 12

Since Deidara finished work at 9, they decided to meet up at the subway station in the village and almost right in front of Itachi's supposedly amazing gay night club, at 11, so it gave the blonde some time to get ready.

After going shopping with Deidara, Itachi had returned home, done some schoolwork – he was really looking forward to the end of the semester – and eaten a light dinner with his family. Now, a few hours later, he'd just gotten out of the shower, and was getting ready to go out.

He chose his outfit carefully, and then looked at himself in his mirror. He was clad in his dress black shoes, stylish low rise dark blue jeans, and plain black v-neck t-shirt. His only accessories were his watch, and a simple silver buckle belt. He thought it looked good enough. Once his hair was dry he stole Sasuke's flat iron. Maybe he should buy one for himself. Thing was, he knew Deidara liked when his hair was styled like this.

The Uchiha hated taking public transportations, and really preferred driving his car, but since he would drink – possibly a lot – he took the subway.

Despite his expressionless traits, Itachi felt so excited as he sat in the train. He couldn't wait to see the sexy blonde, and oh god to dance with him, to kiss him, to touch him everywhere… and perhaps he should stop thinking about all that if he didn't want to end up with a boner in public.

Itachi arrived first at their meet up point so he stayed inside because he didn't want to freeze his butt out. He was a little bit early anyway; he just sat on a bench to wait for Deidara.

It turned out the nineteen year old was early as well, because he got there just two minutes later. As always, he smiled when he saw Itachi. Some checking out was done as per usual; Deidara was really hot in those jeans… And he'd done his hair in a half-ponytail, kinda girly but somehow he made it work. Itachi really loved that look for him actually.

"You look nervous," the raven said, skipping the light talk. They'd been texting each other all day long anyway.

He shrugged helplessly, "First time going out in a gay club."

"I'll make sure you have a good time then."

As they stepped outside Itachi threw his arm around Deidara's shoulders casually. Around here there were gay couples everywhere so they didn't need to be so cautious with public displays of affection. Deidara tensed a little at first, but then he relaxed slowly.

"You smell nice," Deidara told him.

"You too," he said as he breathed in the sweet smell of his hair, "and you look really hot."

Black eyeliner circled Deidara's bright blue eyes, and he just looked so adorable as he blushed and pressed himself a little closer, shivering.

Itachi wondered when the smaller male would stop being shy around him already. Maybe after tonight…

They went to stand in the line up to get in the fancy night club. The place was very popular on Saturday nights.

"So how was the rest of your day at work?" Itachi asked.

"It was great," he turned and looked up, and Itachi removed his arm. "I'm gonna finish the girl's wings tattoo another time, though. It would've been too long to do it in one shot, and too painful for her that's for sure."

"I think I want another tattoo."

"Really?" Deidara smiled.

"Yeah."

"What do you wanna get?"

"I don't know yet. Maybe you can draw something for me." He smiled back.

"…Where do you want it?" Deidara tilted his head to the side.

"I don't know. Maybe you can decide that for me too."

"Did you just decide like right now that you want another tattoo?"

"Yeah," the taller male admitted, "it's your bad influence on me."

"Oh, I'm the bad boy now?"

"Apparently."

"Well I'm not the one always going out in night clubs," Deidara argued.

"I'm not 'always going out' I haven't been here since this summer."

Before that, he used to go out every weekend, but that was a minor detail…

"All right fine I'm the bad influence," he laughed, "with my tattoos and piercings. I should be so ashamed." Then his smile disappeared, "But seriously, your mother will kill you when she finds out, no?"

"No… she'll be horrified. And then Minato will talk to her. And then she's gonna get over it."

"Good point… Oh thank God it's almost our turn, I can't feel my toes anymore…"

"Yeah cause wearing your converse shoes in the snow is such a good idea. Seriously, how did you survive all the last winters?"

"I guess I'm tougher than you think!"

It was finally their turn to get in. Itachi paid for them both, and then he led the way to the second floor. The first floor was simply a restaurant and bar, which was opened all week long. The two other floors were opened only on Friday and Saturday nights.

On the second floor hip hop music was playing. Later in the night, some guys, who were pretty much professional hip hop dancers, always made a little show with their moves on the dance floor. But for now, since it was quite early, the place wasn't too crowded. The music was good, as always. Well Itachi thought it was good, at least.

But he didn't want to dance right now. Besides, Deidara looked a bit too shy and tensed. He was constantly glancing down worriedly at his arms, which were only partly hidden by the sleeves of the new shirt Itachi had gotten him.

Itachi softly took him by the hand and led him to the bar. "Don't worry," he said reassuringly, "like I said, it's really not that bad, and no one's gonna notice."

The blonde made a little smile as they leaned on the bar counter.

"Two margarita please," Itachi ordered

"I have money, by the way," Deidara said, "you don't have to always pay for me."

Itachi let him pay this time, even though it was pretty expensive.

"I'll pay the next ones," he told Deidara.

"…All right," he said, resigned. Obviously he'd found the drinks expensive.

"Come on taste it," Itachi smiled, "they make them really good here."

The drink tasted strong, but sweet and delicious. Deidara seemed to like it too, and actually he was drinking a little bit too fast.

"You might wanna slow down," Itachi teased, "Remember what happened last time you drank too fast?"

"…Cheap shot."

"But still true. I'm trying to teach you how to drink reasonably here."

Deidara looked annoyed by his comment, but he was drinking slower now.

"So Itachi, did you ever get drunk?" He asked, glancing at him sideways through long blonde bangs.

"I never got drunk to the point that I was puking, or passed out, but there were times when I drank too much, and I regretted what I did the next day. So after that I learned to know where my limits are," he explained.

"What did you do, I mean, that you regretted?"

He locked eyes with Deidara, wondering if he should tell him or not. But then he figured, maybe if he opened up more to Deidara about his past, then the blonde would do the same.

"Well the worst time was when I hooked up with a guy, and I guess I was really drunk, because I forgot to wear a condom. The next day, I refused to give him my phone number because to me it had been just a one night, and he told me he was HIV positive."

"Shit…" Deidara's eyes widened.

"Yeah I was scared out of my mind. But I got checked, and I'm fine," he shrugged, "I have no idea if what he told me was true or not."

"…Either way he's an asshole."

"Yeah that's for sure. So yeah I never forgot to wear a condom again."

Deidara chuckled, "I believe you."

The raven smiled, and finished what was left of his drink at once. Deidara raised a delicate blonde eyebrow at him.

"You just told me to slow down. You're not being a really good example."

"Like I said, I know my limits. And you don't."

"Stop acting like a parent, you're getting on my nerves," Deidara glared defiantly, and then he also emptied the rest of his drink.

Itachi leaned across the sleek black bar counter, a little smile on his lips. He ordered two tequila sunrise next. He wanted Deidara to taste a couple tasty drinks.

"I liked the first one better, but this one is good, too," the blonde gave his verdict after taking a few sips. "So you used to come here really often?"

"Yeah."

He nodded slowly, glancing around at the increasing crowd of people, "It's a really nice place. I haven't been to a lot of clubs but I can still tell. And the music isn't bad. It's better than what was playing at Konan's party…"

"I'll take you upstairs later. It's more house music though. Anyway, after you can decide which one you like better."

"Which one do you prefer?" Deidara asked, taking another sip of his tequila sunrise.

"House music," he admitted. "But this kind of music, like, hip hop, it's slower, and it's also really nice if you're dancing with someone."

"I can imagine…" Deidara hesitated, blushing, "I don't think I wanna dance though… I'm sorry it's not really my thing. Anyway I'm sure I'm a really bad dancer."

"Of course you'll dance. I'll teach you," Itachi smirked, "Hey I went to the show with you last week. You have to dance with me, at least a little."

"But you liked the show, right?"

"Of course I did, but… we had a deal."

Deidara leaned closer, frowning slightly, "Our deal didn't precise that I had to dance."

"It was implied, since we were going to a dance club, obviously."

The blonde glanced away, hesitated, and then he said, "Fine, but I'm gonna need another drink."

Itachi laughed, and they finished drinking this one quickly enough as well. Itachi ordered a third round.

Halfway through the drink, he could tell Deidara was already starting to feel more relaxed. Itachi was used to drinking; not only that, but he was very resistant to alcohol. Deidara was a light weight.

By the time they finished drinking it, the dance floor was packed. Itachi decided it was time to give this dancing thing a try. He took Deidara's arm and led him to the middle of the room. The blonde still looked unsure, but he didn't protest.

It was dark, with the colored lights flicking on and off, and a lot of gay couples around them were dancing passionately together to the slow rhythm of the hip hop remix currently playing.

Itachi started dancing, his whole body following the rhythm instinctively. He placed his hands on Deidara's hips and moved closer to him. He doubted the blonde would start dancing by himself, so maybe he needed a little help. Deidara was clearly still nervous despite the alcohol. He was averting his eyes, looking down, so Itachi lifted a hand and cupped his chin. They finally locked eyes, and Itachi stepped even closer, rolling their hips together.

"Just listen to the music," he whispered in his ear, "just relax…"

The raven slid one hand to Deidara's thin waist and the other to the back of his hair, entangling his fingers in it. But Deidara was still tensed, and nervous…

"Do you want to go upstairs? And maybe have another drink?"

"Yeah," Deidara answered firmly.

"Come on," he kept his arm around the younger male's waist as they walked towards the stairs.

On the third floor the music was different. The beat was faster, it was a remix of some pop song. The dance floor was equally crowded, but there were fewer couples.

They went to the bar, and Deidara said, "I want something really strong."

Itachi chuckled, "Are you sure?"

"Yeah," he nodded, replacing some blonde strands behind his ears and fumbling with his ear piercings nervously.

"Okay," Itachi said simply.

He ordered some strong shots, three each. Deidara imitated Itachi, drinking them really quickly, but he made a disgusted face in between, which amused the raven. But at the same time he was a little worried.

"I don't want you to be sick," he said.

"I'm fine," Deidara insisted. "This tastes gross though I'll buy something to change the taste."

He took out his last bill, and ordered two sweet drinks, paying for himself and Itachi again.

"Okay I officially have no more money now," he chuckled, "Hey cheers to hum… tonight, you and me."

"Yeah." They drank simultaneously.

Deidara then swallowed hard, locking blue eyes with deep onyx irises, "I really, really like you Itachi."

He smiled, "I think I quite figured that out already, but it's still nice to hear you say it."

But Deidara didn't return his smile, instead he frowned slightly, "I'm still not sure if I can… do this. Be in a relationship, or whatever this is, but… I really like you, a lot…"

"Shh…" Itachi whispered, reaching out with his hand to caress his cheek. He leaned closer and kissed him softly. "I really like you too. It doesn't have to be more complicated than that."

Deidara pulled away slightly, emptied his drink, and then he wrapped his arms around the taller male and kissed him passionately. Itachi really enjoyed this spontaneous, and intense make-out session, but he decided to stop it for now.

He finished his drink as well, and took Deidara's hand. "Come on," he led him to the middle of the dance floor just like he'd done on the lower floor. "Let's give this another try."

This time Deidara was really getting into it. He wasn't a bad dancer once he'd relaxed his body enough, actually. Itachi was practically getting hard just watching him move his sexy lithe body. And as they moved closer to each other to dance together, he had to repress a moan; Deidara was practically grinding his hips now.

He was definitely drunk now. But Itachi couldn't bring himself to feel bad about encouraging him to drink. He was enjoying himself way too much, and he could tell Deidara shared his feelings. His smile was beautiful and carefree.

Deidara turned around, and danced with his butt rubbing Itachi's crotch. The raven ran his hands all over his dance partner's body, especially his thin hips and waist. Deidara tilted his head back, turning it slightly, just enough so that they could kiss while they continued dancing like this. Itachi moaned through the kiss, and suddenly Deidara spun in his arms, and grinded his hips harshly.

Itachi couldn't hold back anymore. He wasn't drunk, far from it, but the alcohol was still in his system, making him even hornier than normal. Itachi realized he'd missed this, he'd missed being on a dance floor, with good music, and a hot dance partner. And this wasn't just any hot dance partner, it was Deidara. And for the first time, he actually liked the guy. And it made this whole experience even better, even more exciting.

He ran his hands in the long, soft pale hair, pulling him in a bruising kiss. Then he slid his hands down his back, and all the way to his ass, feeling his body again and again. He pulled away so that he could take a better look at him. Half-lidded blue eyes looked back at him lustfully. Blonde hair was all messy and the first few buttons of his shirt were opened.

Itachi placed Deidara's hair behind his shoulder, and leaned closer to kiss his neck. They continued dancing, but he could feel the small guy becoming weak in his arms. He could also hear his cute little moans, which encouraged him to continue. He worked his way to his ear, where he nibbled, kissed and licked the sensitive and pierced skin, and then deliberately blew on it. He felt the blonde trembling with desire in his arms. Itachi pulled away, but only so that he could kiss his lips instead. Deidara kissed back passionately, battling with his tongue almost aggressively.

Itachi was discovering a whole new side of him that he definitely liked. This was even better than he'd imagined. Their bodies seemed to fit perfectly together. Even if Itachi had a lot of skilled dance and make-out partners before, none of them beat Deidara. It was probably mostly because he actually had feelings for him. It really did make things so much more intense.

"Do you want to go back downstairs?" Itachi whispered in his ear.

"Yeah," Deidara breathed, his needy, drunken voice revealing that he would've probably followed Itachi anywhere in the world right now.

They made their way back to the second floor of the building, clinging to each other. On the dance floor there was no hesitation. Soon hands were all over each other again, and Itachi led the dance. He was showing the blonde how to move his body to this slower beat. They were moving together, now dancing just as passionately and sensually as the other couples around them. Itachi smiled; this was amazing. They kissed, and kissed again, bruised lips and tongues always wanting to taste more of each other. Itachi was definitely hard now. He wanted Deidara so freakin' badly.

At some point Deidara stopped dancing because he needed to go to the bathroom. Itachi followed him even if he didn't need to go. He couldn't just leave him alone, not even for a few seconds. The small blonde was drunk and vulnerable, and Itachi felt really possessive, so he waited for him by the bathroom door. When Deidara got out, he smiled and hugged Itachi drunkenly. Itachi held him back, kissing his neck.

"Let's go back to my place," he whispered in his ear.

…

Thirty minutes later, Itachi paid the cab driver, and helped Deidara out of the car. They walked up to the door, which he unlocked and opened, trying to be as quiet as possible. But it wasn't so easy when they stopped every two seconds to make out passionately.

Eventually Itachi decided to just pick him up bridal style, making the blonde laugh.

"Shhh…" Itachi whispered, but he was smiling.

He carried the drunk male upstairs, and to his bedroom. It was definitely faster that way. He put him down on the large, comfortable bed and went to close the door. He hurriedly returned to the bed and climbed on top of Deidara, looming over him before kissing him passionately.

"Mm… you're mine…" He whispered against the blonde's flushed lips.

He quickly unbuttoned Deidara's shirt – what was left to unbutton, anyway – and then brought him into a sitting embrace to take it off completely. He threw it away, and then removed his own t-shirt, Deidara helping him eagerly. They kissed again, pressing their naked chests together.

Then Itachi pinned him to the bed, and kissed his neck, his chest, and his nipples, giving more attention to the pierced one, making Deidara moan and tilt his head back into the pillows. The sound of Deidara's moans was making the older male so incredibly turned on, and his erection was increasingly painful in his tight jeans. So he got up briefly to get rid of them, as well as his boxers. Then he hopped on the bed again and unbuttoned Deidara's jeans, and got him rid of all his lower garments as well. He took a moment to admire his naked body; he was so damn beautiful. He liked everything about him, his tattoos, his piercings, his long hair, his blue eyes, his lips… The next instant they were kissing again. Itachi was turned on now more than ever. He couldn't control himself any longer. And Deidara looked flustered and needy under him, as he pressed his hands to Itachi's back to pull him close and kiss him again and again.

Itachi reached out for the bedside table's first drawer, and he grabbed a condom. He pulled away from Deidara slightly, only so that he could put on the condom quickly…

He spread Deidara's legs. "You want me to stretch you?" He breathed heatedly as he brought his pale fingers in between his butt cheeks.

But the blonde didn't answer, actually he became all tensed up. Suddenly he was breathing really hard, and he was so pale. His whole body started trembling. Itachi frowned, worried.

He moved closer and pulled him up, holding him in his arms. "Hey, you okay?"

Deidara's heart was beating really fast. He squeezed his eyes shut, and tears rolled down his cheeks.

"I can't, I can't do this… I can't…"

"It's okay, if you're not ready we can wait, you should've told me," Itachi said softly.

He was disappointed, but at the same time he was really concerned. He didn't like seeing Deidara like this. He pulled away, and Deidara fell back on the bed before curling up on his side, crying. Itachi removed the condom and threw it away. He pulled the blankets over their naked bodies, and carefully curled his arm around Deidara's small waist, spooning him gently.

"Will you tell me what's wrong?" He pleaded. He couldn't possibly be this traumatized just because they'd almost had sex…

Slowly, still trembling, and having a hard time breathing, Deidara turned around in Itachi's arms. He faced him, blue eyes wide open and teary. He looked like he wanted to talk, but didn't know how to express himself.

"Is it because of something that happened to you…?" Itachi asked softly. When he got no answer, he continued, "Is it because of your father? Did he…?"

"No," Deidara whispered, shaking his head. Itachi caressed the smooth skin of his back, waiting for him to continue talking. "My father… beat me up sometimes but… he never… did that. It was… in high school, senior year…"

His breathing was becoming really difficult. Itachi was worried that he was having an asthma attack again.

"Deidara, did you end up getting an inhaler?"

"N-No, I have the prescription, but…"

"Damn it…" He sighed, "Maybe if I open the window," he muttered more to himself.

He got out of bed, and opened his window a little. He also turned up the heat; otherwise the room would get way too cold. Itachi crawled back under the comforter and sheets afterwards, replacing his arm around Deidara's fragile body. He waited, caressing his hair gently.

Once he'd calmed down a little, Itachi asked, "Do you wanna talk about it?"

Deidara nodded, averting his eyes, "I was um… bullied a lot, I mean, in high school." He swallowed hard, "I was too skinny, and too girly, so yeah…" He chuckled bitterly, "My system's fucked up I guess. I got taller and actually looked more like a guy at like, eighteen…"

Itachi lifted his fingers to caress his cheek, wiping his tears. "Look at me…"

The blonde slowly looked up, with so much pain and frustration in those deep blue eyes.

"What happened?"

"I… I was… hum…" He looked like he didn't know how to say it.

"Raped?"

Deidara winced at the word, but he nodded, "In the locker room. They were five guys, from the football team… They were… laughing, waiting for their turn…" He finished in a mere whisper. Silent tears kept falling from his eyes.

"Fuck…"

Itachi felt so enraged just at hearing the story. He couldn't begin to imagine what Deidara had been through. All he could do was hold him close, wipe his tears, and listen to him.

"I quit school after that," Deidara eventually continued in a broken voice. "My father beat me up when he found out that I was working full-time in some lame fast food instead… But he didn't know about… what happened to me… So… then I moved out on my own."

"And you never told anyone about all this?" Itachi asked in disbelief.

"No…" He whispered, closing his eyes, "I'm so sorry Itachi, I didn't want to tell you. Didn't want to… ruin everything with my… fucked up… issues…"

He tried to pull away, but Itachi held him tight, "You didn't ruin anything… Why would you say that?"

"Because I can't… I can't have sex with you…" He breathed in between quiet sobs.

"I don't care…" Itachi sighed, "Look, it might have been true before, that I only cared about sex but... not anymore, all right?" Deidara opened his eyes, uncertainty written all over his face. "It's not your fault, what happened to you," Itachi continued, and he leaned closer to kiss his hair softly, "I just wanna help."

"…You could have anyone," Deidara whispered in protest.

"I don't want anyone all right?"

The blonde curled up even more on himself, and all energy seemed to leave his body at once. He was pale, and looked dizzy, but at least his breathing was okay now. He was still crying, and without a word he buried his face in Itachi's chest. The latter rubbed circles on his back soothingly until he fell asleep.

Itachi had seen it coming; he had expected something like this had happened to Deidara, but to this extent… Sure he wanted to help, but he didn't really know what to do anymore. There was no way he would leave him alone again though. He wanted to be there for him, no matter what. Maybe things would get better, now that he'd actually opened up… Itachi could only hope for the best at this point.