Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach

Eggs, hash browns, sausage, French toast and bacon- thank fuck for the bacon.

Me and Kurosaki, we're two of like ten people left in the caf. And everyone else looks relatively dry…

It was raining pretty heavily on our way over, but about halfway here it started seriously pouring, like bathtub loads. It was fucking insane.

I look across from me. Kurosaki's brown hoodie looks black now, so soaked with water. His hair is still plastered to his forehead. It drips onto his pancakes.

"You're wetting up your food."

He glances up to my face, then back down to his plate. "S'okay." he says. And I dunno if my eyes were fucking up, if it was a trick of the lighting or something, but it was like everything slowed down a little as he

smoothing it away from his forehead, slicking that hair back from his face. And even though I'm soaked through and through, my mouth goes completely dry.

"See? No more drip-age," he says, grinning at me, like he didn't just totally try to seduce me, the fucker.

"Tch. Yeah, I guess."

I pull my eyes away from him, his smoothed back wet hair, and that grin that has my heart stuttering a little. And when I say pull, I really have to pull my gaze from him. I shovel eggs into my mouth like some starved fat kid, a distraction, and blink unseeingly at the fruit bar across the room.

We eat in silence for another couple minutes, but it's not like the silences me and Kurosaki normally share. There's nothing we're sharing about this one, actually, and it ain't relaxed like usual, gradually getting worse and worse. It makes me shifty and uncomfortable, and I can feel the anxiousness slowly coming from Kurosaki, like it's seeping from his pores. And I swear as each minute crawls by, the silence becomes more and more stifling. It - it literally thickens, till I almost can't breathe from the tension and discomfiture.

I'm scowling at that fruit bar now, about to snap at Kurosaki for being weird and awkward and shit, but he speaks up before me.

"Hey, Grimm. So, when did you… y'know-"

Kurosaki's voice is hesitant as he stops in the middle of his sentence. I sigh internally as the tension in the air kind of snaps and disappears all at once; I knew this shit was coming. I've been thinking about it since we walked outta the math hall; trying to keep it in the back of my mind. The questions, the wonderings , the talk. About what just happened, where it came from. I knew. It was fucking. Coming.

I stuff the last piece of bacon in my mouth and avert my gaze from the fruit to my fruit, almost grinning at that thought.

"What's on your mind, Kurosaki?" I question, raising a brow at his pensive looking face. Though I'm annoyed, I try and keep my voice light, cause I know that what he did back there, back there in that stairwell, was one of the hardest things he's ever had to do. I get it. I do. It's not easy. Not at all easy to admit to liking a guy when you've spent your whole fucking life thinking you were straight.

I can't pretend to understand what kind of weird shit Kurosaki has to sort out in his head. I won't admit to understanding. See, with me, I just had to really, I guess, proclaim what I've felt since I was twelve, and what I've admitted to myself since I was fourteen. But with Kurosaki, he had to… just figure it out, and then say it, like, right then. It's like he had to put two and twenty and feelings that he didn't even understand or want to understand together, getting something so large and outrageous, but something that I guess just felt right to him.

So, for him, I can be patient. I'll check my infamous attitude. I'll make him as comfortable as he can be, what with his new-found, uh, self-awareness. I won't even call him a dumbass if he asks me some stupid shit question. Cause I guess, if it were me, I'd want him to be, ugh, sensitive, to the situation.

Feeling like less than myself I give him my full attention, encouraging him with a prompting head nod. He frowns softly, then fixes me with an intense look.

"I guess, well, what I wanna ask is- how did you know?"

I sigh to myself but nod and run a hand back through my hair. How did I know? A legitimate question, I do know how to answer it, but I think he could figure that one out.

"Well, how did you know?"

Kurosaki blinks in surprise. He gives me another of those pensive stares, but then looks off to the side as a small smirk plays at his lips.

"Heh, guess it was just a whole lot of shit that I couldn't keep pretending to not notice, or feel. When I thought about it without freaking out, like, with a completely open mind, it kinda just… made sense, you know? Felt right."

He looks back at me with the signs of a tale-tell blush growing at his cheeks. I grin, wide and more like a baring of teeth, but it has it's desired affect.

"Oh yeah, I know."

He blushes harder and it's all I can do not to bit my lip at the look on his face. He looks away and I pop an entire French toast stick in my mouth, to distract myself, cause what he said - it honestly has my heart racing. And Kurosaki looks damn good with a blush. Don't wanna look like too much of some love struck chick, grinning like an idiot.

Silence passes for another two minutes when Kurosaki turns to me again. His blush is gone.

"Hey, so, how long have you known? How long have you… liked me?"

Now I'm the one looking away. I knew this particular question would come up sooner or later, and I dreaded it. I fight the urge to scowl, cause - cause I've always felt like a pathetic bitch… liking the same person for fucking seven years. Especially when they never paid me any mind, in that way; when they never knew that I had such feelings in the first place. I purse my lips, really not liking what I'm gonna say but saying it anyways. I want to be truthful.

"The first time I saw you," I blurt out. I stare down at my plate, the eggs and hash browns blending together till they're one single mass of yellow-brown. "You remember, right? That fight? I liked you since that day."

Kurosaki's following silence annoys me. I really do scowl now, unleash the full power of my glare, not giving a damn about trying to be sensitive and shit, cause that piece of information quite frankly embarrasses me, makes me feel like some female, stuck on some guy and unable to move on.

I look up and narrow my eyes on Kurosaki and his stupefied looking face.

"That long?" Those are his only words. I sneer.

"Yeah, that long," I spit out. "So fucking what?"

He blinks at my voice, opening his mouth to say something, but then his face softens.

"Look, Grimm, I didn't mean - I mean, I'm just… surprised. I - I had no idea. Why didn't you tell me before?" His eyes bore into mine so intensely before they drop onto the table. "Hell, I thought I knew you so well."

The last he says in such a quiet voice that I hardly hear him, and I purse my lips again as I frown at the words he just said.

I didn't tell him cause I didn't want to lose the friendship. I'd freak him out. I didn't want that. Didn't want him to run from me or how I felt. I figured it'd just be easier if he didn't know. I'd hide my feelings and he wouldn't have to be uncomfortable around me. We could be how we'd always been, just friends. Shit, it was better than nothing and I was okay with it.

"It's kind of a big thing, you hiding the fact that you're gay from me since sixth grade."

I look back up to see him still staring at the table.

"I didn't know I was gay in the sixth grade. Figured it out in eighth," I mutter back flatly.

He glances up finally, looking at me sorta sideways.

"But I thought you said-"

"I know what I said," I sigh, wiping a hand down my face. "I've liked you since the sixth, but I didn't really figure it out till eighth. When I like, thought about it without freaking out, with a completely open mind, it made sense, felt right, you know?"

He looks at me a second more then turns his head, letting out a short laugh.

"Yeah, I know."

"And you know why I never told you. At least you should."

He nods slowly, down at the table. "Yeah, guess I do."

His eyes go back up again after a moment, looking less upset, and I feel the unease in my heart ease up. It'd be shitty to have him pissed at me now, especially considering…

He fixes me with that boyish smile of his, the one that's a pretty big part of the reason why I feel the way I do for him. I look off to the side and away from him, my own lips growing into a smile.

We left the caf a little while later. The walk back to the dorms was silent, but unlike the one back there at the table, this one is full of that something that we normally share in our silences. Something more than camaraderie, it's a little deeper than that. And today, there's something more to it still. An understanding, I guess. Cause this morning, after everything that's gone down, I've never felt more close to him.

It was drizzling on the walk to the dorms, so what little drying we did while we ate was for fucking no reason.

While we were still in the caf, Kurosaki had asked me what we should do, about us. I could feel other questions lurking behind that one: Should we be an item, like, together? Are we together? Do we let the others know? How do we up and announce we're gay, the both of us, and that we pretty much want each other?

I could answer those questions, most of them. What about Kurosaki, though? I didn't think he was ready, to full-on accept it. I mean, I know he has, but I honestly don't think he's thought about anything beyond the surface, beyond his feelings. He's not ready to be out. I don't know if I am either…

But, Kurosaki, as we were leaving, he'd stopped me as we gathered our trays and looked me in the eyes, those brown eyes so earnest and sincere and penetrating, and started speaking in hushed tones.

"Grimmjow, I like you, alright? I- I'm not afraid to say it now. I like you, and it's kind of bad, kind of strong. I just - I mean. I know how you feel, you know how I feel; so where do we go from here?" His hold on my gaze was so powerful, searching my face; I could see them moving back and forth, his eyes, quick, but the tiniest bit. "What do we do?" he whispered

I fought with everything I had in me not to grab him at the back of the neck and kiss him long and hard, afterwards proclaiming, 'that's what the fuck we do!'.

I didn't have an answer

Not a real one, anyways.

So I just gave him a smile and told him we'd talk later, shortly telling him we probably shouldn't let anyone know, not yet. His look was unsatisfied, but he nodded.

o0o0o0o0o

Now, we stand outside my unlocked door, both probably wondering about how to say bye. Wondering if a bye is even necessary, since we'll see each other in our evening physics class. I know I am, at least.

"So, I uh- I'll see you?" he asks after a vaguely awkward minute. And the fact that he asks - the fact that I was just wondering if I should, and the way he sounded shy, has me more annoyed than anything.

"Um, yeah you will."

He scowls at my tone and I laugh a little at the look on his face, feeling less awkward with the situation, since there's familiarity to it now; me laughing at something dumb he's said. He only frowns harder and lowers his head, thrusting his hands deep into his pants pockets, muttering underneath his voice about 'irritating smartass assholes'.

He turns from me after a second, heading his way down the hall, sighing out a quiet 'later'. Hesitating only a second or two more, I call out to his retreating back and slouched form.

"Oi, Kurosaki. C'mere."

His shoulders lift in a silent, heavy breath.

"What now, Grimm?" He glances over his shoulder and I start forward, spinning him around once I reach him.

"What're-?"

"Shut up a sec." I kind of growl out. I look down into confused and slightly narrowed brown eyes, then look over his shoulder to see the hall still empty.

I bite my lip and let my hands slide from his shoulders, sliding down his biceps and against his still wet hoodie, stopping there. Our eyes connect again and I slip my hands around his waist and pull him close.

It's a cold and squishy and uncomfortable hug, but it's not unpleasant. I shiver and I feel that he does and I realize just how fucking pleasant it actually is. To have him so close to me. To touch him, hold him; not worry about him knowing how I feel. To know how he feels back. Fuck it, it's more than pleasant. Downright fucking exhilarating.

His arms raise and wrap around my body, across my upper arms, gripping the back of my jacket and holding me tighter than my hold on him. I melt into him a little, rest more of my weight into the embrace. I can feel the warmth from his face and the blush that I just know is there. I lean into it, the side of my face against his, turning it just slightly, enough to brush my lips against his temple. He sucks in a harsh breath and shudders again.

The creak of an opening door has us breaking apart, jumping back from each other as if shocked. Two guys I don't know leave a room further down the hall near Kurosakis'. They don't even glance our way as they round the corner and I huff at the interruption. "Ah, fuckin' a."

I look back over to brown eyes, unsurprised to see a bright blush covering his cheeks. I am surprised, though, to see the wide grin on his face. My face slowly mirrors his.

"Alright. Well, later Grimm." he says, briefly grabbing at the back of his neck, something I've noticed he does whenever he's feeling a little awkward, a little weird or uncomfortable.

"See ya."

I fumble with the keys in my pocket, belatedly remembering that my door is already unlocked. I grab at the doorknob when my thoughts briefly go back to how Kurosaki looked after I'd let him go, smiling broadly, but still looking vaguely uncomfortable as he gripped the back of his neck.

I shout out to his back.

"It' weird for me, too, Kurosaki!"

He turns, continuing down the hall walking backwards, a growing smirk on his face.

"Yeah, well, get over it."

I scoff as I look away and open my door.

"That's my line."

o0o0o0o0o

"Fuck! Where're my towels?"

"Apparently not where they should be."

I sneer at the pile of laundry in front of me, thrown haphazardly around the open closet space. Honestly, I don't know what's clean and what's not, but I do know that what I'm looking for ain't where I'd thought they'd be.

No towels. None. And I'm still fucking wet.

"Oi, Ulquiorra. Let me borrow a-"

"No."

I huff in annoyance. It was worth a shot- but maybe it kinda wasn't, since I pretty much knew the bastard'd say no.

Shrugging, I pull a shirt from the load of clothes and just use that, draping it over my head and rubbing vigorously to dry my hair.

I change out of my wet clothes, throwing on a pair of basketball shorts and some random tee from my pile of clean-maybe-dirty shit. I toss my damp stuff over a chair.

My next class isn't till 3:00 p.m.; I've got hours to sleep, and of course, fuck my luck, I can't. But, thing is, I'm not even mad about it.

I sigh to myself and settle deeper into the bed sheets. I feel like some freaking loser girl, having my thoughts travel over Kurosaki, over and over, but I goddamn can't help it.

"Ichigo. You're normally back before now."

I close the door behind me and hear Renji's muttered words coming from underneath his blankets and comforter. The only part of him visible is his red pony and the top part of his face, tribal tats showing up starkly against the white and red bedspread.

"Yeah, went to go grab some breakfast with Grimm."

"Oh, ya'll talking again?"

Unbidden, images, even the feeling, of Grimmjow's soft kiss in the stairwell cross my mind. The tender hug in the hallway too, the sensation I got when I felt his lips graze against my temple. I shudder again, this time alone and not locked in Grimm's strong arms.

I feel an intense, almost dizzying blush heat up my face. I'm eternally grateful that Renji is half sleep and too almost dead to the world to notice.

"Yeah."

My voice comes out breathy and I try again.

"Yeah, we're talking."

"S'great, man," His sleepy words come out muffled once more. "Was weird, y'know, you guys fighting like that. An' awkward as shit being around you two, cause you'd just up and leave, and Grimmjow'd get pissed and start biting everyone in the vicinities head off."

"Is that right?" I ask, fighting a smile and a laugh.

"Yeah."

There's silence after Renji's last word and I realize I'm still wearing the wet clothes, a mini puddle even forming under my feet.

I peel off my soaked stuff quickly, redress in dry sweats and a t-shirt, and dive under my covers.

Grimmjow, Shuhei, Renji and I are the only ones of our group with classes in the ass-crack of dawn. We usually catch a nap before our next. I glance at Renji's alarm clock. It's only 10:14, don't have to get up again till almost 1pm. I marvel at how it's only been about two or so hours, that I've gone through so much crap with Grimm in those few hours.

"Hey, Ichigo," Renji's voice carries a little clearer from under his covers, since I'm closer now. The beds in the dorms sit about two feet across from each other. Rooms are small as fuck.

"What?"

"What was that about this morning? Grimmjow grabbing you like that and storming off? You guys throw punches and make-up? S'that how it happened?" There's a laugh to his voice and he chuckles a little.

I pull the covers over my head, hiding another goddamn blush.

"No, that's not how it happened," I mumble, loud enough for him to hear. "He asked for my physics homework, and forgave him after that…"

Renji scoffs. "Always had a soft spot for that punk." I hear him roll over and he's probably gone back to sleep.

I sigh and close my eyes, thinking about Renji's words.

I know I've always had a soft spot for him.

A/N: I know it ends kinda awkwardly... I don't know, just couldn't fix it to where I liked it.

Anyways, thank you to those who've read, reviewed, favorited and alerted my story. I appreciate the support!