Here we go.
The last one.
........
Disclaimers: Kingdom Hearts isn't mine.
HAHAHAHA! JUST KIDDING!
I got plans for my little fic and it's not over til the fish jumps! *goldfish leaps from bowl*
Uhh...... that one didn't count.
Brace yourselves.... You've entered the REALLY LONG CHAPTER. *Twilight Zone music*
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The World that Never Was: Kitchen that Never Was
"Kairi. All we want to do is help." Dante says sweetly.
"THEN UNTIE ME!!!!" Kairi protests. She struggles against the rope biding her to the chair. Everyone turns to Axel.
"Was that really necessary?" Mrs. Minami asks. Axel shrugs.
"I thought it was funny!" he defends. Demyx lets Kairi go. They decided to ignore the explosion. Until....
"HOLY SHIT!" Axel ducks and dodges a giant green dragon firework.
"GGRRRRR!!! YOU'RE DEAD!!!" He howls and jumps out the window on FIRE.
"...... Should I get a fire extinguisher?" Mrs. Minami asks. Demyx shakes his head.
"He needs to get some issues out." Then someone in an Organization jacket runs over to the window and fires a flurry of paintball pellets at Demyx's Arpeggio sitar. He or she then vanishes back toward the massive fight going on between Axel and the other cloaked fighters. The once pristine blue sitar was now covered in pink and yellow blotches of paint.
"L-Let it go Demyx!!" Kairi says, suddenly getting a feeling of dread that seemed to envelop the now silent Nobody. He smiles coldly and says a single phrase before jumping out the window and rushing to the fight.
"..... Did he just say that he's gonna gut them and feed them to the Defender? What the hell?!" Yuffie says and she too, jumps out the window after the four cloaked figures.
"And why did Yuffie do that?! Those two have it under..... DUCK!" Dante and the other two dodge a series of Roman Candles thrown at them.
"GRRRR!! I'M GONNA!" Dante yells violently and whips out his katana. He too jumps out and runs out to the fight. Mrs. Minami just looks at Kairi.
"Uh..... I'm pretty sure one of those is Sora." Kairi says, having caught the hint that they were doing a rescue mission.
"Well, I'm sure he'll snap out of his brain washed state and come home." Mrs. Minami says with a nod.
"Okay then." Kairi says surprised on her faith on Sora. A Corridor of Darkness opens near the two.
"Wha- What is that?!" Mrs. Minami asks. Kairi just steps closer. Two black cloaked figures step through.
"Ready 13?" One says with a smile. The other nods.
"Ready Keybearer." They both take out Keyblades. One has two black and white ones, the other a single blackish one that resembled a tumbler lock. They both smile.
"LET'S GET THE SHOW ON THE ROAD!!" One of the figures shouts and rushes forward toward Kairi.
BAM! The kid crumbles to the floor, unconscious.
"DON'T YOU TOUCH HER!" Mrs. Minami orders, holding a frying pan like a weapon. (YES!!! FRYING PAN OF DOOOOM!)
"Dude! SHE JUST KICKED YOUR ASS!!!" The standing figure says and starts laughing. Mrs. Minami steps forward and pulls the boy's hood down.
"SORA!" She hugs Roxas. Startled, Roxas hugs her back. Kairi runs over to the fallen figure and feels for a pulse.
"Is he breathing?" Roxas asks, blushing.
"Yup. He's asleep." Kairi says with a giggle. Roxas attempts to escape Mrs. Minami's hug but she just hugs him tighter. Sora moans from the floor.
"Wha happened?" He asks and gets up.
"You just got pan smacked." Roxas says with a grin. Sora just nods.
"Is that why I smell bacon? And eggs? And Cinnamon Toast Crunch?" Sora asks and takes a sniff. (blame Demyx and Xion for the last one. apparently they thought putting cereal would be a good idea for an omelet.)
"Ma-Maybe." Roxas collapses in a fit of laughter.
Roxas POV
I'm laughing my ass off.
"HOW BOUT I HIT YOU WITH A FRYING PAN?! THEN WE'LL SEE WHO'S LAUGHING!!!" Sora yells.
"I'd like to see you try!" I choke out, practically in tears from laughing so hard.
"Sora, I'm taking you......" The lady starts but then Axel, Demyx, Yuffie and that one dude come in. Each one is carrying something or in some of cases, dragging.
"Yo!" Axel greets us, dragging Namine by the arm. She looks embarrassed having been caught. Her Organization jacket's all covered in mud.
IF I SEE BLOOD, I'M STRANGLING THE BUNCH OF YOU! I think furiously.
"We CAUGHT THEM!" Yuffie says, dragging Repliku by the ear.
"OW!! LET GO!..... You're not gonna tell my dad right? CAUSE IT WAS ALL SORA'S IDEA!!!" Repliku lies.
"OH SHUT THE HELL UP! YOU GOT DRAGGED INTO THIS JUST LIKE ME! IT'S ALL FOR ONE AND ONE FOR ALL!" Riku growls from his brother's shoulder where he was being carried like a sack of potatoes.
"Uh.... Don't tell Superior." Xion says from behind Demyx.
"Just which one of you had the paintball gun?" Demyx asks coldly. Everyone points to Repliku.
"HEY! WHAT HAPPENED TO 'ONE FOR ALL'?!" he protests.
"That was before you TRIED TO SELL US OUT!" Xion yells.
"Dudes and dudettes, chill. I got a little plan." Dante says.
"Oh really? What?" Axel asks sarcastically.
"To prove which one is the REAL Riku!" Dante drops Riku.
"OW!" Repliku is let go by Yuffie. Dante rummages around in his pocket.
"Riku, remember.... TINA?!" Dante throws something into Riku's hands. He immediately drops it and rushes to the other side of the room, trembling.
"Huh? What is....." Repliku picks it up. He shows it to everyone. A small gerbil key chain.
"HAHAHAHAHAHA!!" Repliku and I crack up.
"That's not very nice!" Namine, Xion and Kairi go over to comfort the trembling Riku.
"I thought you said you weren't scared of her!" Sora says, covering a grin.
"I-I-I-I'M NOT!" Riku stammers. He's still trembling.
"You see, Riku has a built in 'GERBIL' detector. Once when I was 12, I had to take care of my friend's gerbil for a week. He avoided my room for THREE MONTHS!!!" Dante says proudly.
"IT REEKS IN THERE!!!" Riku defends himself.
"In other words..... GERBIL!" I throw the key chain at his face.
"GAH!" Riku dodges it but it lands on his lap. He stares at it for a minute, turns white and slumps over.
"HEY! HE FAINTED! SWEET!" I high five Repliku.
"This might be the start of a beautiful friendship." Namine says with a smile. I glance at Repliku.
"NOPE!" I smack him with Oblivion.
"Grr!" Repliku counters with Soul Eater.
"Um... Guys?" Sora lifts the hood off.
"SORA?!"
"Maybe we should explain." I say sheepishly. Xion nods.
"I'll do it." She says.
"Kay then, take it away Xion!" Axel motions for her to speak. She clears her throat.
"Me, Roxas and Repliku are all victims here." She starts.
"We are?" Repliku asks.
What is she......
"WE'RE ALL ALIENS!!! FROM THE BLACK LAGOON!" Xion cracks up.
"....I knew that you were an alien Riki." Dante ruffles Riku's hair. Riku's still asleep. I smacked Xion.
"OW!"
"Let me. Let's see... Where do I start?" I ask Sora. Sora shrugs.
"The beginning?" he suggests.
"Uh... Sora's something called a Keybearer. He has one of these babies." I hold up Oathkeeper.
"A pipe?" Dante gets smacked by Mrs. Minami with the handle of the frying pan.
"Go on." Mrs. Minami nods.
"He fights things called Heartless. Which are people's hearts ....uh.... People can lose their hearts." I say lamely.
"Does this mean he runs around smacking people with a pipe?" Dante asks with a grin.
"Yup. Roxie, you suck. LEMME HANDLE THIS." Axel says with a grin.
"BOO! LET ROXY SPEAK!" Xion demands in between inhaling a bag of weird cookies. ..... Are they SUPPOSED to be silvery green? Why do I get the feeling that Demyx was involved?!
"Lessee.... There's things called Heartless. Basically, Sora's the Buffy The Vampire Slayer of Heartless. Except not a girl. And hopefully he doesn't wear skirts." Axel laughs. Sora throws a cookie at him.
"I DON'T WEAR SKIRTS!!!" He yells, bright red.
"That we know of." Repliku says.
"Coming from YOU, emo boy, that's a lot to say." I say angrily. Hey, if nobody's gonna defend my Other, I'm stuck with the job! AND I'LL KILL ANYONE WHO MESSES WITH THE IDIOT CAUSE HE'S MY IDIOT! .... Whoa, that sounded gay.
"SHUT IT GOTH KID!" Repliku yells.
"GOTH?!" I run over and Keyblade the little bastard into the wall.
"FUCK!" He swears when the chandelier falls on him. Everyone turns to me.
"Now, how did that happen?" I say innocently.
"Anyway.... This three. (points to me, Xion and the now bashed up Repliku, hehehe) Xion's a Replica of-" Axel starts.
"AN ADORABLE REPLICA." Xion interrupts.
"Kay, an ADORABLE replica of this little guy!" He nudges Sora.
"But... she's a girl!" Mrs. Minami says in confusion.
"GRANDMA!" Xion tackle hugs her. Rolling my eyes, I peel her off.
"What part of 'Tackle hugging is rude' did you not understand?!" I scold.
".... The part where you said never to do it." Xion says truthfully.
"....... Sit down, sis." I sit her down next to me.
"Sis?" Dante asks, nudging the unconscious Riku.
"Yup! He's my big brother!" Xion hugs me.
"Let go. NOW." I tell her and walk over to the wall.
"Aww.... Who's embarrassed?" Demyx says.
"SHUT IT!" I blush.
"Well...... Uh... Roxas and Xion were both part of Sora!" Axel nudges Sora again.
"MMM." Sora nods inhaling the silver cookies. Mrs. Minami's eyes widen.
"HOW?! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MY BABY?!" She hugs Sora tightly.
"Uh... Actually.... It was kinda our fault." Riku says sheepishly.
"HEY! HE WOKE UP! LITTLE BRO!" Dante hugs him.
"LET GO OR DIE." Riku glares and Dante lets go.
"Well, when the Islands disappeared about a year ago, Sora, me and Riku were all separated." Kairi says.
"Why didn't we just tell Kairi to tell the story?!" Axel interrupts.
"SHUT THE HELL UP!" Everyone yells.
"Riku got to Hallow Bastion, where I was born." Kairi nods.
"Hallow Bastion huh? Isn't that the place that Riku mutters in the middle of a nightmare?" Dante looks at his brother. Riku says nothing. Repliku starts chuckling under his breath.
"Uh..... SHUT UP! MALEFICENT IS SCARY AS HELL!" Riku blushes.
"So... You're scared of the Dragon Lady? Xemnas has her on speed dial!! I'M GONNA CALL HER!" Repliku dashes for the phone. Riku gets up and starts to strangle Repliku.
"I have no idea where I was and Sora was in Traverse Town. .... Well, I lost my heart cause it was inside of Sora. Sora was looking for us. And meanwhile Riku was trying to get my heart back. So, he turned to darkness to help me." Kairi sighs.
"Uh.... I'm sorry?" Riku says.
"So, Sora was running around saving all the worlds! With Donald Duck and Goofy. They're with King Mickey right now."
"Kay, who the hell are these guys?" Dante asks.
"A duck, a dog and a mouse." Axel says.
"............. Here." Sora pulls out a picture from his wallet. It was me, Namine, Xion, Kairi, Sora and Riku all standing in front of Disney Castle. Sora was hugging Donald, Kairi was hugging Goofy, Riku had King Mickey on his shoulders. Xion's eyes were wide as she saw the giant Castle. Namine was sketching and I.... What the heck's with the dorky face?! Oh right, I was choking. Stupid gummy bear.
"Heh, Roxas you look stupid." Axel says.
"Yup, choking will do that to you." I tell him and touch my throat, where the memory of the choking remained. Dammit, no one even noticed until I turned blue and collapsed! I swear under my breath and pick up 'Tina'.
"So Sora's like a superhero. He runs around saving people from these things called Heartless. Which is why he and Riku were gone for a year." Dante summarizes.
"But why was Kairi at home?" Mrs. Minami asks.
"Cause Sora was looking for Emo Boy over there." I say and swing Tina in Riku's direction. He shivers and nods.
"He was looking for me and King Mickey." Riku says and scoots away from me. I take a few steps closer and ........... Oh crap.
"IT WASN'T ME!!!!" Xion, Axel, and me scream and the three of us run for it.
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Crummy summary..... Check.
Scene ends stupidly..... check.
Authoress finished her chips.... Check...... *sniff*
Uh.... Really?
Well, Sovreigna wants to say a few words. And Feralis too.
Sovreigna: Biddy, you really need to plan ahead.
Yup.
Feralis: Crappy chapter, needed more Repliku or Vexen pwns.
Oh snap, I forgot Vexen!
Feralis: So...... Can I?? *points*
Go ahead! *texts: Riku, run.*
Feralis: ALRIGHT! HEY! RIKU! MY 500000 MUNNY!!! *rushes off*
Dunno.... chapter was.... long. and Pointless.
Sovreigna: Well, back to the Animalzation right? I mean we still haven't found Saix's and plus most of them ran off.
Right!!! And we need to find Marly's!!! *cracks up*
Sovreigna: Can't you give him something.... Manlier?
NOPE! REVIEW POR FAVOR! *laughing arse off*