Sorry this took so long, I am officially out of material that was written ahead, and I am nowhere near as close to the finish as I thought I was when I started posting this. I'll try to update in a timely manner, though. :)
Also, big, big thank you to joycelene on LJ, who reced this fic on the KB weekly rec post. Not gonna lie, I got really excited when I saw that.
"What are we doing here?"
Kurt sat forward on his couch seat, watching as Thad paced around the room.
"Oh, nothing," Thad replied, far too nonchalantly for the answer to actually be nothing.
"Then why won't you sit down?" he asked.
"Because I need to keep an eye out for—a pizza! I ordered us a pizza!"
"I don't eat pizza," Kurt pointed out, smirking.
"Well, I ordered a pizza. A, uh, big pizza," he said, frowning. "I am really hungry."
Kurt sighed, coming to terms with the fact that Thad was not going to tell him what was going on. If he kept asking, Thad would continue to stumble to one unbelievable lie after another. For a smart boy, he was terrible at lying.
One of his feathers fluttered to the ground, catching his eye and making him glare down at it. When he looked back up, Thad was gone from the room.
He sighed, and as soon as he was about to stand back up to leave the room, he heard Thad's voice telling him to 'sit down, just sit down'. He obeyed, and just as soon as he was about to ask why, the singing started.
It started with the Warblers (minus Blaine but including Thad) filed into the room in two lines and lining up around the room, singing low oohs together. Kurt furrowed his brows, confused, though there was no denying the slight smile that was tugging at his lips.
When Blaine burst through the door, though, that smile broke out into a grin as the realization dawned on him as to what exactly was going on.
"Baby, I'm yours…" As Blaine began to sing, staring at Kurt with a grin on his face and looking maybe a bit more energetic and enthusiastic than the song called for, but he was singing to his boyfriend who he was in love with, and he had that right. "And I'll be yours until the stars fall from the sky. Yours, until the rivers all run dry." He dropped to his knees as he sang, "In other words, until I die."
Throughout the rest of the song, Blaine and Kurt didn't take their eyes off each other for even a second. The rest of the Warblers could have ripped off all of their clothing and neither of them would have noticed.
Blaine danced around the room and made a show of it, though he didn't really need to. Kurt would have loved it if he'd been lying face down on the floor singing it because he was singing it to him. "And I'll be yours until two and two is three; yours, until the mountains crumble to the sea," he sang. Leaning over the side of the chair Kurt sat in, he stage-whispered, "In other words, until eternity."
By the end of the song, there were tears rolling down Kurt's face. As the Warblers finished out the last few notes, Blaine sat down on the coffee table in front of Kurt's seat and taking his hands. "Baby, I'm yours."
For a moment they stared at each other in silence, smiling softly at each other.
A thought seemed to cross Blaine's mind, and he furrowed his brows. "Happy tears?"
"Happy tears," Kurt confirmed with a nod. After a moment, he frowned slightly and asked, "Why did you do that?"
"I feel like the song sort of spoke for itself, Kurt," Blaine said, laughing. "But if you need me to tell you point blank, I can."
"Tell me point blank."
Blaine grinned. "One of these days I'll get smart about the fact that you just want to be complimented, and refuse to inflate your ego anymore," he said.
"Well, sure," he replied, "But in the meantime…"
Blaine opened his mouth to say something, then promptly closed it again, chuckling to himself. "Alright," he said. "In the meantime, I wanted to remind you that you are the most important person in my life and this," he pulled one of his hands away from Kurt's and held it over his heart, "This right here, is yours. Completely and forever."
"Blaine," Kurt said in reply, because really there weren't sufficient words to say what it was that he wanted to say. He leaned forward and kissed him, using his now free hand to reach up and hold Blaine's face.
Neither boy noticed as the Warblers filed out of the room (though David had to grab Nick by the elbow and practically drag him out of the room) silently, leaving them to each other.
"You already know this," Kurt murmured, pulling back from Blaine and leaning his forehead against his boyfriend's. He moved his hand from Blaine's face and put it against his own heart. "But I figure I should remind you. This, too, is yours."
"Completely?" Blaine asked, smiling.
"And forever."
There was still one thing that Kurt was curious about, and as much as he loathed to admit it, he knew the best way to get the answers he wanted.
And that was how Kurt ended up sitting in between Nick and Jeff in the coffee shop, sipping his coffee and watching Nick feverishly stirring seemingly anything he could think of into his cup of tea.
"What are you doing?" Kurt asked.
"This tea tastes horrible," he replied, frowning down at it.
"Weren't you just extoling its virtues last time we were here?" Kurt asked, watching in disgust as Nick poured salt (salt, of all things) into the cup. Ever since Kurt's first trip to the coffee shop, he had made regular visits. Often enough, he would be joined by one or more of the Warblers, who had, true to Blaine's words, accepted him as one of their own.
"Sometimes it's good," Nick replied frowning.
"It's really a fifty-fifty sort of thing," Jeff said, leaning over and pouring some of his coffee into the cup. "He's a risk-taker."
"Nothing more dangerous than bad tea, after all," Kurt said, rolling his eyes.
"Exactly!" Nick agreed, grinning widely. "I'm so glad you understand me, Kurt." He took a sip of the modified drink and shuddered, pushing it away from him, muttering, "Maybe next time."
"So, Kurt," Jeff said, leaning back and throwing an arm around the back of Kurt's chair, though being careful to not touch Kurt's wings (much like Blaine, he was hesitant to touch and certainly wasn't going to ask, even if he was one to overstep boundaries), "You called us up to have coffee with you. Now, don't get me wrong, I love spending time with my favorite winged roomie and all, but you seem to avoid spending time alone with us."
"It's because of you, Jeff," Nick said. "Kurt loves me. I love Kurt back. Hey Kurt, do you love me?"
Kurt chuckled, rolling his eyes. "No."
"Kurt loves me."
"I don't recall saying that," he replied.
"Blaine doesn't know it," Jeff said, "but you're secretly a really, really mean person."
Nick sighed. "It hurts, Kurt, to know you don't love me," he said.
"Isn't my love enough for you, Nick?" Jeff asked, pouting.
"I just want all the love," Nick replied with a frown. Turning to Kurt, he smiled hopefully.
"Alright, Nick, I love you," Kurt relented. "But only if you answer a question for me."
He beamed, jumping forward to hug Kurt. He awkwardly moved his hands on Kurt's back, frowning at the realization that hugging someone who had large wings sticking out of their shoulder blades was weird. Sitting back, he nodded at him. "Anything," Nick said. "Anything to have your love."
"Taken out of context, that would be a really weird statement," Jeff pointed out. "Anyways, carry on."
"All of you guys have made the fact that Blaine and I are dating out to be a huge deal for Blaine," Kurt said, "and something tells me I'm missing something."
"Shit," Nick said, frowning. "How did Blaine get someone so smart?"
"He knows how to pick them," Jeff said.
"Except he doesn't," he said, shaking his head. Looking at Kurt, he added, "Which is exactly why you're right: you are missing something. Our dearest Blainers has not had the best luck with men in the past."
Kurt didn't say anything, just stared between the two normally mischievous but now remarkably somber boys, waiting for them to elaborate.
"There are two very, very bad men in Blaine's past," Nick said gently, taking Kurt's hand in his.
"Maybe we should tell this story in the form of a fairytale," Jeff suggested. "It's a sad story, but at least in the end Prince Blaine will rescue the handsome damsel Kurt!"
Nick brightened visibly. "I like that idea," he said. "You start."
"Once upon a time, there was a prince named Blaine," Jeff said.
"A very handsome, dapper prince," Nick added. Jeff looked at him oddly, and he explained, "For Kurt's benefit," and gestured for him to continue.
"Anyways, the very handsome, dapper Prince Blaine was a special prince," Jeff said. "He liked other princes even though everyone thought he should like princesses. They looked down on him because he liked princes."
"But don't you fret, Kurtsie, because that didn't get Prince Blaine down!" Nick said brightly. "Eventually he came to the Kingdom of Dalton, where he met the Warblers, Dalton's strong, also handsome knights! The kings of Dalton—Wes and David, obviously—"
"I should mention now that Wes and David are not the same sort of royalty as Blaine—they like princesses and queens," Jeff said. "Just in case this gets around to them."
"Right," Nick said, nodding. "Anyway, our dear Kings took quite a liking to Blaine, and so basically he was one of our kings, too. All the people in the kingdom of Dalton absolutely loved him."
"But there are bad people in the world who like to make happy people sad," Jeff said, shaking his head and frowning.
"And have bad hair," Nick added.
"You're getting ahead of yourself, there," Jeff said.
"What's that about hair?" Kurt asked.
"There was once a, um, crap. An assistant king from the Gap?" Jeff said. "Yeah, an assistant king from the Gap. His name was Jeremiah."
"He was a cruel, cruel leader," Nick said mournfully.
"But he was also very charming," Jeff said. "His hair had magical powers."
"He had bad hair, though, like I said, which is because his magical powers were bad magical powers."
"Exactly," he agreed. "Shortly after Prince Blaine came to Dalton, he was shopping at the Gap when one day he was approached by the evil King Jeremiah."
"Naturally, Blaine was over the moon. A handsome king was talking to him—little Prince Blainers, of all people!"
"So Prince Blaine and King Jeremiah went out on some dates. It started out with just a couple simple dates, like going out for coffee when Blaine wasn't in class and Jeremiah wasn't working—"
"Jeff," Nick whined, "you're ruining the fairytale illusion. People in fairytales don't have class or work, they just fall in love and get kidnapped and stuff."
"Kidnapped?" Jeff echoed.
"Totally," Nick affirmed, nodding. "Rapunzel was kidnapped by that old woman or witch or whatever."
"Oh, right," Jeff said. "And I feel like Snow White was kidnapped at some point, because you don't just magically end up with seven dwarves."
"Well, maybe," Nick said. "I mean, maybe she just had seven daddies. Like how Kurt and Blaine's babies will have two daddies."
Kurt blinked, looking down at his coffee. "Right, so, Prince Blaine," he said, pointedly ignoring their last comment.
"Okay, we'll get back to that in a second, but Kurt and Blaine's babies—think about that one for a second, Nick," Jeff said. "Will they have ridiculous eyebrows and wings?"
"They'll be the cutest!" Nick mused, grinning. "I hope they get Kurt's hair. It's beautiful."
Kurt frowned, suddenly hit (again) by the realization that his friends were completely insane. "You realize two men can't have a baby, right?"
"Don't say that!" Nick hissed. "Don't even say that. Kurt, we live in a day and age where some people have wings for no reason, and you're trying to tell me that it's impossible for two people very much in love can't have a baby? Lies."
Jeff nodded slowly. "Don't crash our dreams, Kurt. You and Blaine will have the prettiest babies and you can't tell me otherwise," he said.
"Okay," Kurt said, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Sure. Can you just tell me what happened with Jeremiah and Blaine?"
Nick frowned. "You know, now that I think about it, I think we maybe shouldn't tell you this story."
Kurt sighed. "Why not?"
"It's Blaine's story, obviously," Nick said. "Not ours. I don't know if they told you this, Kurtsie, but it's not nice to tell people stories that aren't yours."
"But Blaine will never tell me," Kurt argued.
"Well, it's a sad story," Nick said, "and I'm not sure if you really want to hear it."
"I want to hear it," Kurt assured him. "If I didn't, I wouldn't have asked."
There was a moment of silence as both Kurt and Jeff watched Nick sit with his lips pursed in consideration.
"Alright," he said finally. "We've already started the story, and we might as well finish it." He gestured for Jeff to carry on.
"Where did we leave off? Oh, right, when Prince Blaine and King Jeremiah were starting to go on dates," Jeff said. "Blaine was young and, really, a bit naïve, and this was the first time a boy had ever liked him back. Because of this, it didn't take much for Blaine to fall completely in love with him. It was all very romantic."
"No it wasn't," Nick interrupted, frowning. "It sucked."
"You're the one who was just complaining that I was ruining the fairytale," Jeff said, shrugging. "I was just trying to help."
"Well you can't lie to Kurt," Nick said. Looking at Kurt, he said, "As we said earlier, King Jeremiah was a terrible person and nobody ever liked him."
"Besides Blaine," Jeff put in. "Blaine liked him alright."
"Right," Nick said. "Blaine liked him. A lot. And it was the fact that Blaine liked him that led to problems for our hero."
"Prince Blaine thought that he and King Jeremiah were going to get married. He would tell the Warblers—Dalton's strong, handsome knights, as you'll recall—that if he married King Jeremiah, then he would get fifty percent off at the kingdom of the Gap."
"Dammit, Jeff, there are no discounts in fairytales!" Nick protested, glaring at his friends.
"What do you want me to say instead?" Jeff asked, frowning at the table and furrowing his brow. After a second, he brightened, and said, "Got it! The Gap would provide Prince Blaine with all the wool he wanted if he and Jeremiah got married." Looking seriously at Kurt, he said, "The kingdom of the Gap specialized in quality fabrics."
"Like socks!" Nick added enthusiastically.
"Like socks," Jeff acknowledged, nodding. "In order to further woo Jeremiah, there was a series of corny, romantic, ridiculous and, in the long run, tragic acts of love, some of which were very public and very embarrassing."
"So embarrassing, in fact, that even just remembering them still makes the Warblers shift uncomfortably in secondhand embarrassment."
"That bad?" Kurt asked.
"That bad," Nick affirmed. "This one time Blaine seriously stole a guitar—he didn't even know how to play guitar—from a homeless man and started singing to Jeremiah in the middle of the, uh, town square!"
"Not to mention the time Prince Blaine led the Warbler army to, ah, fuck it, he led the Warbler army to sing in Jeremiah's court. In front of all of his subjects, and then they took his throne away. In addition, apparently none of the people of the Gap knew that their assistant king was gay."
"Ouch," Kurt commented. "Did they break up then?"
Nick sighed. "If only they had, Kurtsie," he said remorsefully. "But they did not."
Jeff sighed, taking a sip of his coffee. "Nick, tell the part until the damsel in distress," he said, "I don't like this part."
"I don't like this part, either," Nick protested with a frown. He glared at Jeff for a few seconds, but when Jeff glared back at him, they both started laughing and Nick relented. Sighing, he began, "Prince Blaine, at this point, was still over the moon and he was always apologizing to Jeremiah for making a fool out of him, because, as we all know, Blaine is the most endearing person ever.
"And for a while, things seemed to be pretty good for our hero. Until one day he left a meeting with the Warblers. He arrived at Jeremiah's castle—"
"If he's not an assistant king anymore, then why does he have a castle?" Jeff asked.
"If you think you can do a better job, then you tell this part," Nick said.
"I'm not saying I can, I was just wondering," Jeff said. "And can I have a castle? I would love to have a castle."
"Jeremiah doesn't really have a castle."
"Well, that sucks," he said, then reconsidered it. "No, no it doesn't. He's an ass. Asses don't deserve castles."
"Damn straight," Nick said. Straightening his tie and looking back at Kurt, he said, "As I was saying, Blaine left his steed in Jeremiah's stable and went to enter the castle, picnic basket in hand. A prince always prepares a feast for the one he loves, Kurt, remember that."
"And now he's got his hopes up," Jeff said.
"Don't be an ass, Jeff," Nick said, frowning. "And besides, he's got the most prince-y prince to ever prince."
"I just really hate this part," Jeff fumed, glaring down at the table.
Nick sighed and said quickly, "Blaine walked in and he was super happy and then he saw Jeremiah having sex with some guy and he was heartbroken and he cried for at least a week, probably longer because this is Blaine," and then grabbed his tea and took a sip, not even wincing at the taste.
Kurt would be impressed by the fact that Nick had gotten that all out in one breath, but he was too busy letting the impact of the words sink in. Blaine had been in love and then cheated on. "I'm going to puke," he said.
"Don't puke now, Kurt, because the best part is about to come," Jeff said. "Trust me."
There were very few things that were more laughable and potentially dangerous than the words "trust me" coming out of Jeff Sterling's mouth, but trust him Kurt did. "Alright, where's the good part?"
"To get to the good part, you have to skip over a bunch of sleepless nights consoling Blaine on the Warblers' parts and a generous handful heartbroken, slightly off-key songs—"
"Jeff, you said that it was going to be better," Kurt said, absentmindedly pulling on his wings to get them tighter around his body like a security blanket.
"It does," Jeff insists, "because you're here." He smiles gently at Kurt for a second, then brightens immensely. "By the time this fall came around, Prince Blaine was a whole new man. Or maybe he was the same as he was before Jeremiah. Either way, he was happy again."
"But one got the feeling, looking at him, that there was something he was missing," Nick added. "He just seemed a bit… lost."
The mood at the table had shifted dramatically. Nick and Jeff had brightened significantly since they had gotten out the information that Kurt needed (but, despite his declarations to the contrary, did not want). Now, of course, they were going to finish out the story in a fashion typical of the pair.
"The buff, handsome knights of Dalton tried everything they could to fill that hole," Jeff said, "but no one could figure out what that hole even was!"
"One cold December morning, though, as Prince Blaine relaxed back at home in Anderson Castle, a thought struck him! He knew exactly what he needed, and he rose from his seat, as if compelled by a higher power!" Nick continued the story, his voice raising and sounding empowered, much like an old woman in church.
"He went to a facility and he walked down the rows, not sparing any of the pets a second look as his feet took him to the most beautiful man he had ever seen," Jeff said.
"That's not how it happened," Kurt put in, though there was no denying the grin on his face.
"Who says I'm talking about you? Gosh, Kurt," Jeff said, shaking his head in mock disapproval. "If you think you're so high and mighty, tell the rest of the story." He crossed his arms over his chest with an overexaggerated huff, the sort of dramatics that told Kurt that Jeff was interested to hear Kurt's take on things.
"I'm not much of a storyteller," he said, shaking his head.
Nick laughed. "And you think we are? Go on, you can do it."
Kurt sighed, his cheeks blushing. "Alright, but I'm telling you the version I know," he said. "On the other side of those bars, the confessedly handsome pet had woken up that morning with a good feeling in his gut—this was the day. When Prince Blaine arrived, their eyes locked and he just knew. It got better and better as the days went on. Blaine was the perfect gentleman—he told Kurt he was beautiful, called him an angel… wouldn't touch his wings unless invited. He was Kurt's definition of perfect, and there was no stopping them from falling completely in love."
Standing up from the table, he smiled. "And they lived happily ever after. If you'll excuse me, Blaine is getting out of class now."
He turned to walk to the door, leaving two impressed Warblers in his wake.
Nick grabbed him by the arm. Frowning, he asked, "Is that… is that really how it happened? Did you really know, right off the bat?"
Kurt raised his eyebrows. "No," he confessed. "I was fucking terrified of him and everything he did. But I figured it out in the end."
With a smile, he left the room.
When Kurt got back to their room, he found the bathroom door closed with the unmistakable sound of Blaine singing under his breath floating out into the room.
Smiling, Kurt made his way over to the bed and sat down. No sooner had he gotten his shoes off than Blaine came flying out of the bathroom and threw himself over Kurt, grinning widely.
"Hi Kurt!" he said brightly.
Kurt smiled as he leaned back on the bed, surprised when Blaine followed him into a laying position. "So, how's your personal space doing?"
"Great!" Blaine replied brightly. "I filled it with you!"
Kurt laughed in spite of himself, kissing Blaine's cheek. "Such a dork," he commented.
"And you love it," Blaine replied, grinning. "So, how was your day?"
Kurt shrugged, suddenly feeling guilty for having gone behind Blaine's back to find out about his past. He needed to tell him. Just… not now. "Nothing special, really," he said.
"Word on the street is that Nick and Jeff joined you for coffee," Blaine said. Smirking, he added, "That had to have been fun."
"It was something, alright," Kurt agreed with a laugh.
"How was the tea?"
Kurt gaped. "So that really is a normal thing?" he asked.
"Every other week, it seems like," Blaine commented, setting his chin on Kurt's chest and looking up at him. "I've even tried it on multiple occasions. It always tastes the same to me."
"He put hot sauce in it, Blaine. Hot sauce."
"You sound surprised," Blaine commented.
"It's a coffee shop; they shouldn't have hot sauce there!"
"The impression I've gotten, actually, is that Nick genuinely carries it around in his pockets."
"I… okay." He reached up to run his fingers through Blaine's hair to pull it free from the gel, "How was your day?"
"It was pretty good," Blaine said. "I even had a good time in Latin."
"You hate Latin," Kurt commented.
"Exactly," he replied. Propping his elbows up on Kurt's chest, he jumped up excitedly. "But you'll never guess what happened."
"Oh?" he asked, raising an eyebrow and moving to pull Blaine back down (but not because he missed him being there, no, he wasn't that clingy, it was just that… it looked uncomfortable).
"You have to guess," Blaine replied, grinning.
"I hate guessing games," he complained, leaning up to kiss Blaine—he had learned that kissing Blaine was one of the most effective ways of getting information from him.
"No you don't," Blaine corrected, meeting Kurt's lips for a brief kiss before pulling back. "You just hate it when you lose." He smiled, leaning down and kissing Kurt's nose. "I'll give you a hint, though. Nick actually showed up for class today."
"Truant," Kurt commented, rolling his eyes.
"To be fair, Wes and I are the only Warblers that regularly attend Latin," Blaine said. "Mr. Macneish never takes attendance."
"So what you're saying is that you don't have to go to Latin, but you use it as a way to get away from me."
"Kurt."
"Yes?"
"Don't make me feel bad when I've done nothing wrong," he said, frowning overexaggeratedly.
The part of Kurt that had been conditioned for years to quickly and vehemently apologize whenever he did anything to upset his master immediately screamed at him to apologize and hug or kiss Blaine for good measure. The part of Kurt that was Blaine's boyfriend knew that Blaine knew he was kidding and was telling him to laugh it off and make some snarky comment.
As a compromise, he laughed and said, "I love you."
Him saying that had yet to have any reaction that was not smiling in that way that Kurt was pretty sure was only ever for him, staring into Kurt's eyes for a long moment (a moment during which Kurt wished he could read minds just to know what exactly Blaine was thinking), kissing him, saying it back with the biggest, stupidest grin on his face, or some combination of the above. He did all of the above this time.
"Anyways," Blaine continued, nuzzling his head against Kurt's shoulder. "What happened is, Nick sat right behind Wes. And you know how Nick is really good at making fake sneezing sounds?"
Kurt did know. Nick wasn't usually one to brag, but once he had perfected the art, there had been about a week during which not a conversation could go by without him pretending to sneeze.
"So, in the middle of class, Nick pretends to sneeze, and then he groans and goes, 'Oh man, that's nasty.' And he leans forward, and rubs his hand all over Wes's shoulder!"
Kurt grinned, laughing. "Oh my god, what did Wes do?"
"He freaked out!" Blaine said. "Mr. Macneish nearly kicked him out of class for it, too. I actually felt bad for him, but it was so hilarious! He was literally yelling at Nick for defacing his blazer. It was the best."
"You know, Blaine," Kurt commented, "you put up a good front of being a gentleman, but really, you're evil."
"I'm not evil, though," Blaine pouted.
"Except you are."
"I am not," he replied, kissing Kurt's jaw. "If I was, then I would have had my way with you on day one and—"
"Blaine."
"Yeah?"
"We don't talk about that," Kurt said softly.
Blaine bit his lip, looking down a bit shamefully. "We don't talk about that. Right."
Kurt couldn't stand it when Blaine was upset; he looked like a kicked puppy. "It doesn't matter," he reassured him, rubbing his hand down his back.
"It's just that I always say stupid things around you," he said quietly.
"Who doesn't say stupid things?" Kurt asked.
"You don't."
"I do, though."
"I've never noticed," Blaine pouted.
"I'm clever that way," Kurt replied with a grin.
"You'll have to teach me sometime."
"Of course," Kurt replied. A smirk rose on his face, and he added, "In the meantime, however, I have an idea for how to handle you saying things you regret once you've said them—even if I don't think you should regret them, because I never really do, no matter what you think."
Blaine looked up at him, grinning. "And that—"
He never finished his question and was instead rolled over with an oomph, his lips facing an assault by Kurt's. After a moment, he pulled away for long enough to say, "I'm sorry."
"You need to stop apologizing," Kurt mumbled, leaning back. "Especially for something that didn't happen. It makes us both uncomfortable."
"Sor—right. I love you."
"How to distract your boyfriend by saying you love him, a guide by Blaine Anderson," Kurt commented.
Blaine laughed. "Did it work?"
"No," Kurt replied, leaning down to kiss him again.
Blaine smiled into the kiss. After a moment, he pulled back. "You're lying," he said with a grin. "It totally worked."
"Shut up and kiss me, jerk."
"As you wish."
It wasn't that Jeff was trying to eavesdrop on Kurt and Blaine. All things considered, he wasn't even sure that he wanted to know what they talked about when he wasn't listening.
Which is why, whenever he got back to his room, he would hesitate before unlocking the door, and once again stop with the door cracked. One could never be too safe, and he had learned his lesson the day he and Nick had told Kurt about what happened with Blaine and Jeremiah and he had been fully prepared to come back to a scene of comforting and possibly tears but instead had been faced with two boys getting hot and heavy in bed. Ever since, he'd been a bit more cautious. He had seen Kurt and Blaine making out three times more than he ever wanted to.
Today, though, he only heard the loud yelling of someone in an ad—it reminded Jeff of Billy Mays, who he was still quietly mourning—on the television. Most likely, they were actually watching whatever was on, since they usually would turn it off if they weren't watching; it had become a bit of an indicator.
He was about to enter the room when he heard Kurt's voice say, "We should have sex," followed by the sound of something falling to the floor, most likely from Blaine's hands.
Jeff stopped, frowning and stepping back from the door. That was so much worse. Couldn't he walk return to his room without walking right into the middle of his roommates' love life— or, more importantly, their sex life? Nick had been a great roommate. He never made out with anyone, except for that one time when they had made out but 1) there was not an insignificant amount of alcohol involved and 2) it, obviously, had never happened.
He leaned forward, straining to hear Blaine's quiet but clearly nervous reply.
Alright, fine. He hadn't meant to eavesdrop, but now that he had heard, he was naturally a bit curious.
"…if you think that you…"
Why did Blaine have to be so soft spoken when he was embarrassed? It was just inconvenient. If Kurt thought that he what?
"Hey, Jeff, what are you—" Nick walked up beside him and Jeff rushed to cover his mouth. As soon as Jeff felt confident that Nick was not about to start hooting and hollering as soon as he was released, he let his best friend go. Confused, Nick whispered, "Why are you waiting outside your room with the door cracked?" Nick looked concerned, peering towards the door. "Are they doing something? Are you watching?"
"No, no," Jeff answered. "And I'm not eavesdropping."
"Okay," Nick replied. "Sure. What are you doing?"
"Kurtsie has just propositioned Blaine," Jeff said.
"For what?" Nick asked innocently.
"Sex."
"Oh."
Kurt's voice drifted out of the room, getting louder as the sentence went on. "…get hard when we kiss and that's fine, Blaine."
Nick's eyes widened. "Kurtsie's talking about boners, we have to leave."
"But I live here," Jeff said with a frown. "I think I have a right to know."
Nick laughed, trying to keep himself quiet. "You want to know if they're doing the deed."
"They're my favorites, though," Jeff said. "I'm rooting for them."
"…to have sex?"
"And other things," Jeff whispered back. "Don't act like you don't want them to be together forever."
"True," Nick said, suddenly serious. "I want them to get married."
"Exactly," Jeff said. "It's not creepy, really, it's just… we're emotionally invested."
"Why do you say 'we'?" he asked, raising a brow.
"Because, my dear Nicholas, you didn't leave when you realized what was going on."
"But that doesn't mean I'm listening," Nick pointed out.
"But you didn't leave," Jeff repeated.
"You, on the other hand, not only didn't leave but were also listening," Nick said. "That makes you a pervert." He paused. "My best friend is a pervert."
"You love me, though," Jeff said. "Even though I'm a pervert."
Nick chuckled. "True," he said. "Not that it makes this socially acceptable."
"I didn't mean to, if it helps," Jeff said.
"But you didn't leave when you realized what was going on," Nick pointed out.
"Rude," Jeff said back.
"You love me, though."
"Nick."
They both jumped as the door swung open to reveal a blushing Blaine. "Oh! I didn't realize you guys were out here," he said.
"Oh! Yeah, well, uh, we are," Nick said awkwardly. Jeff stepped on his toe, and he hoped that Blaine didn't notice his wince. "I was leaving, though, so…"
"Just kissing goodbye?" Blaine joked.
"Oh, you know it," Jeff agreed, reaching out to squeeze Nick's shoulder. "Everyone knows Nick's the best kisser."
Nick blinked down at his shoulder, where Jeff's hand still lingered, realizing exactly what his best friend was trying to do. He was trying to distract Blaine from the fact that he'd essentially just caught them spying on him by acting suspicious. There were times when Nick realized that he knew too much about the way Jeff's mind worked. This was one of those times. "Jeff can't keep his hands off me," he explained.
"It's his shirt, I think," Jeff said. "Really soft."
Blaine frowned. "His… blazer?"
Jeff blinked. "Yeah," he said, "I think he uses really nice fabric softener or something. Its' nice."
"He likes touching me, is all, really," Nick said, knowing that Blaine was liable to reach over and try to feel him.
"You know me," Jeff said, laughing a bit overexaggeratedly (but when suspicious is what you're going for, who really needs subtlety?), "I'm a toucher!"
"You are?" Blaine asked, looking confused. He looked between the two of them for a second before taking a step back. "Well, um, so… good luck with that and I, um, I have to go."
"Go where?" Jeff asked, ignoring the warning look Nick was giving him.
"Nowhere interesting, really," Blaine said. He gave a quick wave before turning away. "Bye guys."
Once he was out of earshot, Jeff turned back to Nick. "Do you think he said yes?" he asked.
"I'm not sure," Nick answered. "He left alone, and he was blushing like crazy."
"Well, Blaine and sex… I don't think he even masturbates," he said.
"He totally does," Nick replied. "Everyone does."
"I've never heard him—"
"And you totally do it while he's in the room, right?"
"Fair point, but we're getting away from the point. Are they going to have sex?"
"If you want my opinion, then yes, I think they are. If you wanted to, though, I'm sure you could ask Kurt."
"That's just weird."
"And listening outside the door and then fondling your best friend when you get caught isn't?"
"I was not fondling you."
"Caressing?"
"Better."
"Speaking of, are you going to let me go, or…?" Nick asked, looking at his shoulder, where Jeff's hand still rested.
"Oh, right," he said, taking his hand off. "Sorry."
"Anyways, what I came here for was to ask you if you were interested in pizza and Mario Kart down in David and Wes' room."
"Do I ever turn down pizza and Mario Kart?" Jeff asked.
"Fair point," Nick said.
"Also, we need to gossip. Maybe David and Wes can weigh in on the Kurt and Blaine Sex Scandal."
"They're in love, it's not a scandal."
"…the Kurt and Blaine Sex Situation?"
"The Kurt and Blaine Sex Situation."
Which brings us to another question: feelings on smut? I feel I should warn that I'm not experienced at writing it.