Chapter nineteen: Haunting Anxiety

"I want to know what happened." I told him, staring at him and I could feel everything inside me boil with anxiety.

I was anxious to know yet at the same time I didn't want to know, but I also wanted a new topic to occupy my mind so I could forget what happened while I had been training.

I shoved my feelings aside, deciding to distract myself with new information and forced myself to sit in the chair that was beside him. It was hard to keep still though. My leg kept bouncing and I kept shifting position.

Jade must have noticed my uneasy energy because he was studying me like a therapist would study their patient's behavior in order to understand them. Except he couldn't understand me.

"Where's Erica?" he asked, almost looking around but he winced every time he moved his neck. "I thought she'd be in an infirmary with me."

"So you knew she was injured?" I tilted my head to watch his facial expressions. He was confused.

"What do you mean 'was'? Is she better now?" He sounded so hopeful that I felt cruel saying the truth.

"I wish," I mumbled, my fingers nervously toyed with my skirt.

He inhaled sharply and I immediately thought I heard something else shatter. Maybe the noise had been his heart. Or maybe it was mine.

"She's gone, isn't she."

I took no inchoative to reply. I didn't need to. What he said was a statement, not a question.

"I need to know what happened Jade," I repeated softly.

He was reliving the situation as he informed me with descriptive detail of the afternoon they were walking home after they finished their shifts at work. He told me how the night was dark with no stars and no moon. How he could see his breath in the October air and he remembered that they were making plans for Halloween. How he knew that they were being followed because of the sound of multiple footsteps. How they tried to avoid being caught by randomly walking into bookstores and restaurants, but once they left they were followed again.

He told me how Erica fought: proudly…violently…with everything she had. How typical of Erica. However, they weren't strong enough to face off vampires.

They were, unfortunately, only human.

I twitched uncomfortably in my seat as he recalled the faces of her family. He didn't know that the vampires had their families until he was shoved into a muddy pit with them.

I inhaled sharply. "They had your family too?"

"Yea, but mine weren't alive like hers when I opened my eyes." His eyes were cloudy as he spoke—like he was trying to not picture his own parents.

"I didn't know that," I said, shocked. "I didn't find their bodies."

Jade's face became distorted. "You mean you've found corpses of Erica and her family?"

"I was thrown into their pit," I answered venomously. My anger wasn't geared towards him of course, but the memory of what happened that night was cutting my nerves.

"You were caught?" His eyes were huge at this point. "But we made sure as to not give away any information!"

"They weren't looking for me when they had you captive," I explained darkly. "They were after my mother first. They already knew where I was---in this school. The other vampires were protecting me though, which is why they wanted Mom first. Thought she would be an easier target."

"But why? Why did they want you? Or your Mom?" His tone was angry and confused.

"Apparently my whole family is in this blood feud with a clan of vampires. They want us dead for numerous reasons that I don't feel like explaining right now," I frowned, flexing my fingers.

I needed to kill something. Damn. And I just had a training session---failed it too! I inwardly groaned.

"How did you get away?" I wanted to avoid hearing the parts where Kaede and her posse tormented my friends and their families. I didn't want to hear those details.

"I didn't. They thought I was dead," he laughed mockingly, snorting. "They were having more fun with Erica's brother who was terrified of them."

I clenched my trembling hands into tight fists, not caring about the blood trails that my nails left as they dug deeply into my palms. The urge to kill was causing me to shake with rage.

He continued though, oblivious to my trembling. "They tossed me into a trunk and dropped me into the wilderness after I passed out during one of their torture sessions. I woke up near a stream and followed it to a stable. It took me a while to travel though, which is why I'm surprised that my arm was amputated. I thought for sure I would lose my legs---I couldn't feel them half the time."

As he finished, a void look entered his eyes.

He was becoming distant and empty…it bothered me.

It was like watching him die. Spiritually, that is.

"The tattoo they removed caused the problem. The wound got infected," I whispered, looking away. "What did they do to your legs?"

He sounded wistful as he spoke. "No idea. I couldn't see while I was in that room. It was cold though---the floors felt like cement. I was chained to the wall, where they kept biting my neck and ripping my skin off with a knife. I think a hammer broke my legs. It felt like a hammer, anyway."

"Yagari-sama, one of the men who found you, said he discovered holes---what does he mean by that?" I asked. I was briefly reminded of the rare times Erica and I watched horror movies—I wanted to know but I regretted knowing the truth afterwards.

"They took a screw driver and drilled holes into the same arm they removed the tattoo. They also did it in my legs, palms and my stomach," he replied, speaking lowly.

This time I knew he was picturing it because he was making a face. He was disgusted with himself, ashamed as he recalled his time of vulnerability. I shifted again in the chair, cringing as I felt his pain.

"How did you heal from those wounds? I didn't see any holes in your stomach," I muttered, wanting to get up to double check but my butt was glued to the chair.

To be honest, I didn't want to see any more wounds.

"The white haired vampire made me drink his blood---said it had something to do with healing. I thought it was his way of poisoning me," he grumbled.

A sick feeling twisted my stomach.

The vampire, Hoshi, the one Mr. Bunny had caught after they found me, was healing his wounds just so they could keep him alive and continue to torture him.

"Serena?" he asked. His voice was softer now.

"What?" I croaked. I was enraged.

I wanted her blood. Hers and her buddies.

I wanted their blood on my hands.

And I wanted it now.

"Why are you crying?" he sounded confused even though it was obvious as to why I was crying. "Erica never wanted you hurt."

"I know," I croaked again.

My eyes burned and the scene before me began to blur.

Hell, I am crying.

"It's not your fault," he declared as if he was reading my mind.

"Yes it is!" I shouted, causing him to flinch. "You did not choose to die! You did not choose to be hunted down! You did not choose to---"

"We chose to be your friend and to be loyal to you," he cut me off viciously, eyes narrowing dangerously. "Don't ruin that for us with your self pity."

I immediately clamed up, feeling like I had just been slapped.

"I can't believe this!" he snapped. "You've been wasting your time thinking this was entirely your fault, haven't you?"

I didn't bother to nod. He already knew the answer.

"You moron! You could have been more productive with your time by chasing that bitch down!" He threw off the bed sheets to corner me.

I bit my tongue until it bled so I wouldn't gasp as my eyes zoomed in on his blackened legs.

I immediately closed my eyes tightly.

"We have been searching for her but she's disappeared!" I nearly shouted, going into defensive mode. "They say she might be taking refuge in Switzerland or something."

"Who's 'they'? Who's 'we'? What the hell have I been missing?" He spat angrily at me, furious that he had been left out.

I nearly snapped at him. It wasn't my fault that he had been unconscious the entire time. Besides, it wasn't like I had been in shape to move around either when I was found.

I sighed and took a deep breath because I knew I was going to need it. I opened my eyes and focused on his eyes, which were bright. It was odd seeing bright black eyes—like staring into a black hole. I was being sucked in, but unlike Mr. Bunny's oceanic eyes and their alluring pull, Jade's eyes weren't seductive or silently promising safety.

They were hell bent on exterminating every existing creature, even if it were innocent.

"Sit back down, Jade," I ordered, but my voice was meek.

When he looked as if he was going to argue, I interrupted.

"You have been missing out on a lot and this will take time to explain," I began nervously, biting down on my tongue again.

I wonder how he will respond once he finds out that I have… feelings… for a vampire…

The answer to my previous question: Not so well.

He threw the vase of flowers at my head when I informed him and he had asked me why---and how could I? After being nearly killed by one!

I tried telling him that not all vampires were the same. That Mr. Bunny saved my life twice: when he found me and when he gave me his blood.

The other part that pissed him off was that Hoshi was still alive and being held captive in the basement of the school. The last time I heard his name, it was from Yagari-sama who was bullying him for information about Kaede's location.

I didn't get the chance to tell him about my situation with my mother. Truth was, I didn't want to talk about it.

I exhaled loudly, prowling around the school's campus for the last time as I returned to my bedroom. I don't understand how Yuuki and Zero do this job. It requires that I stay up all day as a student andstay up all night as a prefect too!

I'm not a vampire! I need sleep!

You know what? I'll just skip today's class and ask Kiren later about it. While I'm at it, I'll skip the prefect duties today too. Why not? Zero does it all the time.

And I was exhausted!

I was prepared to collapse onto my bed when I spotted Takuma standing in front of the Sun Dorms' entrance at six in the morning. He seemed nervous, swaying back and forth on the heels of his feet and studying the ground nervously.

"Takuma?" I questioned lightly, feeling irritable.

I wanted to go to bed. I didn't feel like dealing with a polite bastard who was dating my best friend behind my back.

Correction: Had been dating.

It was now my duty to break them up.

As usual, he was cheerful when he greeted me. "Good morning Miss Serena! I came to—"

"Does Kiren know that you're a vampire, Takuma?" I got right to the point. I didn't care if I sounded rude.

His face fell with disappointment and worry. "No, she does not."

"And do you plan on telling her?" I shot him a glare.

He became nervous. "Yes…just not right away."

"And just how long do you plan on waiting to tell her?"

Takuma scowled, which took me aback a bit. "Serena, I know she's your best friend, but I care about her too. I'm not going to hurt her. I won't bite her. I refuse to drink her blood. I'm not going to use her in—"

"Any way…right," I finished his sentence but I shot him another scornful glare. "How do you expect she'll react when she finds out?"

He shrugged, glancing at the ground nervously. "I don't know."

"You don't think it would break her heart? To grow to love someone and then find out that she can't have him?"

"What are you talking about?" he glowered at me. "Aren't you the one who's practically dating a vampire?"

"I don't count," I said defensively.

"How so? Just because you come from a family of vampires and vampire hunters?" he argued.

"Yes. I've had more experiences with them," I told him and I wanted to eat my own words as I said them.

Half of me knew I was being a hypocrite. Half of me just wanted to be certain that Kiren was safe. Even if she would be heart broken to know that I forced Takuma to end the relationship.

"You don't know how she'll react-- she might not reject me," Takuma continued to argue with me.

"This is why you came to my bedroom that night, isn't it?" I asked, remembering now that he was present on the night I had a fight with Mom. The one that made the whole hall of vampires stare at me. "You came to me because you wanted my approval. You wanted to know if it was okay—you wanted to date Kiren officially, even though you were already seeing her."

He blushed. "She…told you about when we began dating?"

"Uh, yea. We're friends…does that ring a bell?" I rolled my eyes, biting him with my sarcasm and he did flinch.

"I'm not going to end the relationship just because you don't like it," Takuma persistently defied me. "But I have to admit I'm surprised. You're the last person I expected that would have that opinion."

"What opinion?"

"You're against vampires dating humans," he stated firmly.

"Oh, but let me guess. You brought this up to Mister…Kuran, right? I bet he's just plain jolly that you're dating a human," I scoffed, throwing up my hands in the air dramatically.

He became suddenly quiet.

I blew up the moment I realized what that silence meant. "OH MY GOD! YOU HAVEN'T TOLD HIM, HAVE YOU?"

"Miss Serena," Takuma sighed, returning to his polite demeanor and his eyes begged me. "Please don't tell anyone."

"I'm not going to, but you better tell the pureblood or he'll have someone's head," I growled, making the unfortunate promise. I was above spilling other people's secrets.

I became curious though.

I wondered how vampire politics worked---if Mister High-and-Mighty would fuss over a bond that Takuma had with a human.

I silently vowed in my head that if he threatened to harm Kiren in any way, I would step in and protect her. Even if it meant my death—since I couldn't see myself winning in a battle against a pureblood.

"Takuma, are you going to let me go in now? I'm tired, I'm cranky, and I've had a rough day," I yawned, mentally avoiding the thought of my demise.

"It seems I have bad timing as usual," he smiled apologetically. "I didn't even ask how you were doing."

"No. You were about to but I interrupted," I smiled back despite the fact I was mad at him.

"I suppose now would be too late?" His eyes closed tightly as to come across as friendly.

I honestly didn't feel like talking. Seriously.

Yet for some reason I felt compelled to explain my rudeness. At least to Takuma. He was just too damn polite and nice and…yea, I can't be angry with him. I wasn't going to say this out loud, but if Takuma weren't a vampire, I'd say Kiren has great taste in men.

Takuma would never harm anyone. He would only protect those he cares about. I could sense that.

"Old wounds," I started to say. "They were opened. I guess that's why I'm being such a bitch right now."

Takuma chose to sit in front of the door and wait for me to explain, patting the spot next to him. "Go on."

I exhaled loudly, dropping the Blood Star next to him so I could sit. "Zero took me out for practice. I was supposed to kill an ex-human—needless to say it didn't end so well. I chickened out, the thing bit me and Zero had to kill it before it killed me."

"Why did you chicken out?" Takuma was as patient and as understanding as ever.

I wanted to slap him. "Damn it Takuma! Be mad at me! I just gave you hell and you didn't even raise your voice!"

He chuckled. "I've noticed that you enjoy confrontations. This explains why you like Hanabusa so much---he argues back, and the louder he gets the happier you are. You're quite sadistic…in a more subtle way."

I scowled, attempting to hide the blush that was staining my cheeks. "I just…like his reactions."

Again, he waited for me to explain.

I sighed, folding my arms over my chest. "Mom used to say that people showed that they cared through their passions, whether it be love or hate. It's when they don't react that you have to worry because it means they no longer care."

"I agree." He nodded his pretty little head. "You put a lot of effort into loving or hating a person. Anyway, go back to the failed mission. You chickened out because?"

I took my time responding. "Because…because I'm a step closer to killing her."

"You said you wanted it to be you," he pointed out.

"I do. I meant it," I mumbled. "But…still."

"I understand," he said.

"Of course you do," I mocked, scowling.

"But this is relatively new…how is it an old wound?"

I sighed again. "This is going to sound retarded, but when I was younger I used to think that she would leave me too since Dad left. I thought it would be only a matter of time. That's why I was so bitchy back then—until she slapped me."

There was period of silence until I broke it a couple of minutes later.

"I wanted to hate her. That way it would have been easier for me to let her go when she finally abandoned me."

My voice cracked at the end. I was on the verge of tears.

This was just too much for me in one day.

"That doesn't sound retarded at all," he said quietly.

"What are you? My therapist?" I growled, withdrawing into myself. I wanted to find a hole and remain there for a while until it was safer.

It hurt.

It hurt to think. It hurt to feel.

"If you think of me that way."

"I'm going to go inside now," I stated, not wanting to talk about it anymore. I was becoming uncomfortable.

"Is that all?" he asked, standing now and he gave me a hand.

"Jade's awake," I muttered, refusing his help. "And he's not happy with me dating a vampire either."

A knowing smile spread across his face. It wasn't like Mr. Bunny's smug 'I-told-you-so' smile. It was genuine.

He was genuine. As always. Why the hell didn't I fall for him instead?

"I can understand Jade. Jade's only trying to protect you. Just like you are trying to protect Kiren," he grinned.

I narrowed my eyes at him, mouthing 'I hate you'. The bastard was right. As usual.

Jade was me. I was Kiren.

Funny how life works.

I groaned. "No more thinking. Come back to ask me for my approval later when I'm not so emo, a hypocrite and overprotective."

Takuma simply smiled. "Very well."

"Scratch that," I mumbled, taking a long look at him. I narrowed my eyes at him directly with every serious fiber in me. "Takuma, I know you would never hurt her, and you know that you don't really need my approval."

"Yes, well, it's always nice to have it though. Rather than receiving death glares. I've seen you when you're angry and you're not pleasant," he smiled a telltale smile, winking a second later. "I rather not be on the end of your Blood Star."

"Nah, only Mr. Bunny. You know he's always the first on my list," I joked, wanting to at least pretend to be happier. If not for his sake, than my own. "Now good night! Or good morning? Fuck, I don't know, but I'm going to bed!"

"Have a good rest, Miss Serena."

"Stop that! Stop being polite!" I demanded, becoming annoyed again.

He waved me off. "Some things about me aren't going to change, Miss Serena."

"Not even if I threaten you with the Blood Star?" I asked, sounding hopeful.

"Not even with that," he grinned and he was gone.

I felt envious for a moment, wishing I had that kind of speed. I yawned, slowly making my way to my room and once I felt the bed underneath me I was fast asleep.

"I was beginning to wonder where you went," I mumbled tiredly.

In this dream I was standing on the tip of a gold roof. I mean that quite literally. The golden roof of…whatever this building was…was cone shaped and I was standing on the very tip of it. Damon was floating above me, watching me as I tried to balance myself on the tip. "You took a break from me—not the other way around. Remember, I'm part ghost and part of your subconscious."

"So…um…what's new?" I scanned the new area. "Other than this location? What gives?"

"A lot," he answered bluntly.

I became confused. "What do you mean?"

"Serena, the only times I appear in your head vividly is when you need me," he explained. "So you already know that something is new—you just need to be informed."

I bit my lip. "Uh…huh…"

"It's about Kaede," he interrupted my babble, smiling delightfully now.

"What about her? You know something?" I questioned, irritated. I didn't want to hear about her unless a bus hit her and her body was found in multiple pieces.

"I know where she is," he whispered into my ears, leaving behind a ghostly breeze.

"Where?" I demanded to know now.

I accidentally lost my balance due to my impatience, falling to the lower cone-shaped roof. I landed with an oof and it was then that I noticed just how massive the new building was.

"You're looking at it," he grinned wildly. "This is Russia—and the building you are currently balancing yourself on is Russia's famous Cathedral. The Cathedral of Christ the Savior."

"I'm standing on top of a church?" I asked, bewildered. "What the hell is a murderer doing in a church?"

"Irony, I guess. Just kidding," he said quickly once he saw my tempered face. "It's the last place people would suspect a vampire to be hiding."

True. I mean. Look at Mom---she goes to church!

"She and her brother are there." He was floating again. "If you go, take a team with you."

"Well obviously. I doubt the Chairman would let me go anywhere alone," I snorted, rolling my eyes.

"You mean Dad," he corrected me.

"I told you I couldn't make any guarantees," I reminded him.

"You two still have time," he said softly. "It's Mom I'm worried about now."

Pain surged through my veins, causing me to twitch uncomfortably. I clenched my fists tightly, digging my nails into my palms. No blood seeped out since this wasn't reality. I only had crescent marks, which disappeared the second after they appeared.

Revenge. Sweet, painful revenge.

I woke up edgy the next morning—correction: late afternoon--- to call Mom.

The dream I had was still fresh in my mind, anxiously eating at the corner of my brain. For some reason I felt suspicious, like something was amiss.

Maybe it was because Damon had said that he was worried about Mom in my dream, causing me to believe that she was in danger.

So I snuck into the Chairman's office, knowing that he was cooking meals at the moment (okay, I'm guilty. I have occasionally spied on him since our last conversation) and used his phone to call her.

It's not like I really had a choice. His phone is the only one that can call overseas.

Ring. Ring.

Damn it Mom. Pick the phone up! I only have twenty minutes before he finds me! Not that it matters…I could easily intimidate him…somewhat…

Ring. Ring. Ring.

I hung up when I got the answering machine and tried calling again. Becoming impatient, I paced in his office until someone answered on the third ring.

"Hello?" a meek female voice said.

I paused, feeling a shiver tease my back.

Mom has never been a meek person.

"Mom?" I asked, uncertain that it was her.

"Serena? Is that you?" Her tone of voice was suddenly perkier.

"Umm…yea…"

"Oh! OH!" she sniffled. "I'VE MISSED YOU!"

Something was definitely wrong.

She's been crying.

"Mom…is everything okay over there?" I questioned, trying to keep my tone light.

She laughed weakly and the hope I had been holding onto died. "Yes. Everything is fine. How are you?"

I scowled. "You're crying. Don't tell me you're okay when I know you're lying."

I heard her quickly inhale. "I'm sorry darling."

I winced, instantly feeling dread. "What's going on?"

"I…I think…"

"Mom, I love you," I interrupted her. I didn't want to hear from her that it was almost time. The day that I would have to murder her was…too soon.

She choked up. "I love you too."

And she hung up the phone.

Slowly, I returned the phone back to its craddle. An icy, prickling wave of emotion seized my lungs.

I can't breathe.

I violently coughed, clawing at my throat to force it to open up and allow air in. Hysteria surged into my veins as I began to bang my head repeatedly against the desk, not noticing the Chairman as he entered his office. I heard him drop the tray of cooked food onto the floor in shock.

"Serena? SERENA!" He shook me by my shoulders, forcing me to release the desk. "Serena! What happened?"

Tears were flowing from my eyes and I didn't bother to wipe them. I looked up once to see his concerned face. The next thing I knew my head was buried into his shoulder and I was quivering violently. The anger and hatred that I had once been filled with evaporated as I clung to him.

I wheezed and squeezed his torso, digging my nails into his shoulders. I felt his fingers gently entangle themselves into my hair, caressing my scalp.

"Serena, are you going to tell me what's wrong?" his voice was soft.

I sobbed, shaking my head. I didn't have to look up to see the sadness and pain in his eyes.

He already knew.

"I'm sorry Serena. I am so sorry."

I don't remember falling asleep that night.

A week passed. I hadn't spoken to anyone.

Not even Kiren, who was completely clueless as to why I've been giving her the silent treatment. At first she badgered me about it, wanting to help and understand so she could give me support, but I didn't say a word.

I only kept a blank stare.

I vaguely wondered when she would snap one day and smack me for mistreating her. Jade noticed the change in my attitude. I think he believes that our last chat had made me so furious that I refused to talk to him.

In a way it was ironic.

You'd think that a person, like Jade, who's known me for five years since he dated my best friend, would know better.

If Erica was here she'd know what to do. Of course she would, she knew my quirks. My normal behavior was to fight, scream insults and belittle people when I was upset. She knew it was something more severe when I was eerily quiet. And she would beat the shit out of me until I released my bottled up fury. It was a dysfunctional yet functional way expressing our pain.

My problem was that I didn't want to say anything because saying it out loud would only confirm it to be true and real.

I didn't want it to be real. Not just yet. I wanted to live in denial. Even if it was only for a little while.

Zero was avoiding me---bastard. Every time I tried to corner him so I could tell him that I wanted to redo the practice, he managed to SOMEHOW dodge me.

Fucking vampire.

"You seem apprehensive," Yagari-sama's voice interrupted my thoughts of hurling a desk at the male prefect.

Ha! Try to dodge that! Stupid vampire!

"Say what?" I asked, since I hadn't been paying attention. Again.

His eyebrow ascended, noticing my frog-like voice. "Are you sick?"

I cleared my throat and shook my head, not wanting to explain why I hadn't been using my voice.

He let it go, unfolding his arms and he propped his elbows onto the table.

"I really should hit you with this book," Yagari-sama frowned, sighing in frustration and he tossed the said book onto the table. "What's the point of reading it to you if you don't pay attention?"

"Sorry," I said, not sounding very apologetic.

We were sitting in uncomfortable blue plastic chairs, 'studying' the rules of the Hunter Association, which in my opinion was pointless.

How many times did I have to say that I had no intentions of joining their stupid association? Maybe…maybe I should like…place a bomb in one of their offices and force them to watch me laugh maniacally as it detonated.

Think that would prove my point?

"What are you thinking about?" he questioned, lighting a cigarette.

I silently wondered if smoking was allowed in a library. Probably not but he obviously didn't care.

"About Zero," I said bluntly. It was a half-truth.

"I thought you were dating that vampire."

I scowled at his reply, realizing what he was indicating. "We're not dating."

His eye rolled. "No need to be defensive."

"I'm not."

"It certainly shows," he chuckled, his tone dripping with sarcasm.

My scowl deepened. "What the hell does he have to do with this anyway? The only reason I want to see Zero is because I want to redo that practice."

Yagari-sama's face became serious. "Are you sure you're prepared for it this time?"

I gave a curt nod, clenching my fists at my sides.

He didn't seem convinced though. "Why? What has motivated you? What made you change in a week?"

"The Boyko Clan," I said immediately.

"You're becoming hasty," he frowned, shaking his head. "If you go in now, you'd only be killed. Take your time. Train."

I didn't have that leisure anymore.

"I want them all dead now," I argued. "I don't need them coming after anymore people I care about."

"They won't be doing anything now that would jeopardize them. They know we're after them and they need to keep their hiding place a secret," he reasoned with me, but I wasn't having any of it.

I snorted. "I already know where they are."

His eyes narrowed sharply at me and his voice became grave. "Do not lie to me, Serena. We cannot afford to go running around in search of them and we cannot afford to be misled."

I bit back the urge to smack him.

"I am not lying," I growled, not appreciating being accused of being dishonest for my gains. "I know where she is."

"Oh?" he quirked an eyebrow at me.

"The Cathedral of Christ the Savior in Russia," I answered in a whisper. I didn't want the other vampires to overhear me, but I wasn't sure if the whispering did me any good. They do have supersonic hearing.

"And how did you come across this information?"

He's gonna think I'm a nutcase.

Well, honestly, maybe I was but that didn't matter to me at the moment.

I had to convince him.

"It…came back to me a few nights ago. I remember her saying something while she was tormenting me. She mentioned the Cathedral in Russia," I lied and hoped that he couldn't tell that I was lying.

"You remembered in a dream?" he questioned, sounding curious.

Crap. Was he already suspicious?

"Err…no, I was…thinking. After talking to Jade, it just…brought back memories. Like I was reliving the event," I lied again and I began to bite my bottom lip.

He seemed to consider my response though, removing his cigarette from his mouth and he blankly stared at the table in between us.

"Why didn't you mention it sooner? You said you remembered a few days ago?"

"Well, I didn't see the point. You said it yourself—I'm in no condition to confront them. I need to pass that stupid practice test first, which is why I've been trying to get a hold of Zero," I answered, releasing a frustrated huff as I crossed my arms.

"And you think you're ready for this?" He was staring at me, studying me.

I slowly nodded my head. "Absolutely."

Lie. Lie your ass off. I just want you dead Kaede.

"Well then, we don't need Zero. Tomorrow you'll leave with me," he smirked, squishing the cigarette on the carpet floor.

The librarian was not going to be a happy camper when she discovered that black mark. We both stood up, meeting each other's eyes.

There was an air of tension sparking between us.

Or that could've just been me.

"When the Night Class students are inside their classrooms, I will meet you at the 'exchange' point," he said, still smirking as he adopted Shizune's term. "Don't forget to bring your Blood Star."

I snorted. "As if."

My duties as a student, a prefect, and as a trainee almost forced me to sleep with that thing. We were inseparable.

He gave me a curt nod. "See you then. And while you're at it, read the Hunter's Association Manual."

I rolled my eyes, groaning. "Do I really have to?"

"Learn the rules well, Serena, so you can properly break them," he said with a grin. "You'll get into less trouble while doing what you do best: pissing people off."

He made a good point so I accepted the thick, thousand paged manual.

"You do know it's impossible to finish this all in one night, right?" I glared at him.

"I didn't say you had to finish it all at once, but make sure you read it and memorize it," he replied and with that he left me alone in the library.

Damn him. More responsibilities.

Why did I want to go to this school again?

"You're antsy today," Takuma greeted, plugging one ear so that the loud cheers of the rabid human females wouldn't hurt him.

Gawd damn it! It's like all of the sudden people are pointing that out to me for shits and giggles!

"Practice again today," I answered, bouncing on my legs. There was tension between my shoulders so I had been trying to stretch or force the bones to crack.

My head snapped up when I heard a girlish giggle, and without even realizing it at first, I began glaring at one of the female students as she attempted to touch Mr. Bunny.

My glare was sent to Mr. Bunny next, as he was about to play with the girl's hair. However, he must have felt my glare dig holes into the back of his head because he gracefully avoided the contact and merrily laughed as he walked in his group.

The female student, whose name I didn't know, exhaled sadly but then her face brightly lit up as if she was thinking 'Maybe next time!'.

I hated how I had become so possessive of him. It didn't make any sense.

We weren't dating. We were just good friends. I have no claims on him! None!

And he barely spoke to me nowadays. Ever since my belated birthday present, he had become more distant and when he couldn't avoid my presence he acted awkwardly.

He mumbled. He stuttered. He looked everywhere but at me. The worst part was that he didn't fight with me anymore—not even playfully.

I was starting to suspect that maybe he befriended some other human chick or that he simply lost interest in me now that I was feeling sort of…maybe…interested.

Was that how he was? It would fit the playboy profile.

Charm them and then abandon them.

Damn it. I really didn't need this right now. My anxieties were already having some psychotic celebration in my head and I was worried that I was due for another panic attack.

When was the last time I was drugged? I don't remember...

Little voice in my head: Won't do me any good stressing over stress.

"Did you hear me Serena-chan?" Takuma's voice brought me back to reality.

I felt my face flush and forced myself to smile. "No. Sorry. I'm…just really nervous. I don't want to screw up again—even though I feel ready this time. I feel like I can do it!"

Takuma smiled, patting me on the head. "I have a feeling you'll do well this time. Instead of picturing the ex-human to be your mom, picture it as Kaede. That's really all you have to do."

I sighed loudly as I continued to nervously bounce on my legs. "Thanks."

Right after I uttered my gratitude, my legs fell completely still and my body felt more relaxed. The tension in between my shoulders ceased.

Damn polite vampire. He always knew what to say to chill me out.

As I watched Takuma walk away, not before giving Kiren a wink, I seriously began to wonder why the hell didn't my heart choose him. It would have been so much easier.

That's actually probably why-- now that I think about it.

Yagari-sama appeared on time, nodding at me as he approached.

"Ready?" he questioned.

I bobbed my head, not trusting my voice. The nervousness had come back the moment I spotted the older vampire hunter.

"Then let's go."

I can't say I know where I am because I honestly haven't the slightest clue.

It was a deserted place—that much I knew. I was surrounded by gravel, sand, and vacated buildings with old cracked signs. The trees were alarmingly tall--to the point of hiding the cloudy sky. The windows and doors, which were all ajar, would squeak open and then slam shut only to open again. Other than the slamming and the squeaking, our footsteps were the only noise.

It made me even tenser.

The unnatural silence before the storm. The calmness before the ambush.

I inwardly groaned, feeling the muscles in my legs tire. We've been walking for the past four hours and I forced myself to believe that this was a part of the training as well.

Endurance.

Damn it. I wanted to get this over with.

"Did you read the book?" he asked idly.

"You've already asked me that. Stop asking," I hastily replied.

In fact, it had been the tenth time he had asked and I always gave him the same answer. I had read four chapters last night and still had a lot more to go.

"So what's rule number one?" he continued.

"You've asked that before too," I groaned.

"Just making sure you remembered." He sounded amused.

I wanted to tell him to go screw himself.

"How much longer?" I asked.

"Fifteen more minutes," he said monotonously.

"You said that an hour ago," I snapped.

"Patience is a virtue."

"Not mine," I retorted sharply.

"Then learn it."

"Fuck you."

He laughed loudly. "I was waiting for that."

A sudden howl was heard in the southwest direction where the trees became denser, causing the hairs on my neck to prickle and electricity to pump in my veins.

I immediately yanked out the Blood Star and exposed the spikes.

Yagari-sama calmly stuck out his arm in front of me—a signal to be patient.

God. Damn. It!

"I will take the west. You will take the east," he instructed, still calm as ever.

I pouted, arguing. "I already know it's in the west. This is supposed to be my training! Let me take care of it!"

He shot me a dark, annoyed glare. "I'm going to chase it out of its hiding spot so you can finish it off in the opening. I would rather not have a building bury you."

Another point for the old man.

I sighed exaggeratedly. "Fine…"

We broke off into our directions and as soon as I reached my location, I realized why he told me to go east. From where I stood I could see a large mountain in the distance.

I heard a deafening explosion, which I assumed was his gun, and something sprung out from the trees so quickly that it blurred.

It was heading straight for me.

VVVVVVVVVVVVV

If it weren't for my reviewers, I'd probably wouldn't have updated until April at the earliest. Why? I have so much crap to do I can't keep my head straight.

1. School started. That means homework, studying and exams. DAMN IT

2. I have a job

3. I have to do volunteer work because it's a requirement for one of my classes (and that means I'm a teacher assisstant....surrounded by THIRD graders!!)

4. My laptop caught on fire. New record! So now I'm stuck with using the library's computer.

YAY for reviews :D.

As for her bond with Aidou, I had to remember that this is Serena's first crush. So because of her lack of experience, she doesn't know she likes him (and fights with herself because of it), doesn't know what to do, and can't explain how she feels.

Btw, this is the longest chapter I've ever written. Holy cow.

Warning for next chapter: violent and gorey. With some other stuff in it of course.

I have the best beta reader!! :D

Stay tuned!