Author's Notes:

This Chapter starts out with a flashback to Aaron Austen's funeral. Then we jump six and a half months ahead in time. Thank you for still reading.

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Flashback - Almost three weeks earlier in L.A.

She was dressed in all black. In a knee length dress – conservative – from her 'Jack days'. Her hair was curly, just falling down, framing her face.

It was a rather warm and sunny day for late January. In movies funerals always seemed to be accompanied by rain. That never happened on the island, and wouldn't happen today in L.A. either. There was not a raincloud in sight; instead the sun was burning high.

Her eyes were red from crying, and considering everything that happened over the last week, the tears weren't faked at all. Cassidy knew the truth. She was the only one there to support her right now.

"I want no press here, nobody allowed in, especially not my mother." Her voice was stern.

"Of course, Ms. Austen. And just let me tell you again how sorry we are for your loss."

After the private ceremony, the small, yet empty casket was lowered slowly into the ground. And by the look on Kate's face, you would have thought Aaron was actually really in that casket. This was her moment of letting go, letting go of something she didn't want to let go off.

Cassidy cried too. She didn't understand half of what Kate had told her over the last two days, but this right now, this pain all over her friends face, it was as real as real can be.

When they arrived back at Kate's house, Cassidy and she just sat there in the living room. She was curled up on the sofa, wrapped up in a blanket more for comfort then for warmth.

Cassidy simply sat with her, not saying anything, no need for words … or maybe it was the loss for words that kept her quiet for once. All of a sudden the door bell rang and Cassidy looked up at Kate.

"Don't get it. It's probably just another reporter again." Kate said, her voice void of all emotions.

But when the doorbell rang again, Cassidy got up, "I'll send them away. I'll be right back."

A few moments later, Cassidy walked back in and looked at Kate.

But before Cassidy could explain, Kate had asked instead, "What?" when she noticed the expression on Cassidy's face.

"It's a man, in an Army uniform; he says he's your dad. Do you want me to let him in? Do you wanna see him?"

Kate jumped up, wiped at tears on her face and stood there in place for a moment, not really sure what she wanted to do now. She hadn't seen him in years, and she'd thought she'd never see him again.

After a moment of hesitation she finally looked back at Cassidy. "It's okay, Cass, you can let him in."

Her dad walked into the living room, all dressed up in his army greens, but when his eyes fell onto the heartbroken face of his daughter all he could muster to say was, "Hi Katie."

"Hi dad." She said softly, still not really knowing what to do.

Finally her dad just walked towards her and hugged his daughter tightly, and she sobbed unabashed against his shoulder.

"I saw it on the news, took the first flight out. They wouldn't let me attend the service. I'm sorry, baby girl. I'm so sorry I never came to see you and never got to meet my grandson." Tears were now falling from his face too as he held his daughter tightly in his arms for the first time in years.

Cassidy quietly left the room and gave them some privacy.

Her dad ended up staying for a few days. Kate was happy to have him there, at least she had somebody back in her life that loved her, she thought.

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Six and a half months later – 42nd Panorama Crest, L.A. (at Kate's old house)

He walked up the stairs probably way faster then he should have. Claire had just told him the news, and running up here like this sure seemed too obvious, but he didn't care. He stopped when he reached the top of the stairs.

Don't walk in there like this, we're just friends, nothing more.

He slowly walked over to her bedroom and casually leaned against the doorframe of her open door.

Cool as a cat, 'cause we're just friends!

She didn't notice him standing there right away until he made himself noticeable to her, "Knock, knock."

His voice behind her startled her and made her jump. "Hey, didn't hear you come in, James. You just got here?"

"Yep, just now, Claire said you were packing, had to come see for myself. So you're really doing this, Freckles?"

"Doing what?"

"Moving on! Vacating the premises! You know what I'm talking about. Don't put on a show for me." He tried to meet her eyes, but she stared at the suitcase in front of her instead.

"Are you here to talk me out of it?" She finally looked up at him.

"What?" he looked surprised. "Why would I talk you out of it? I think Claire's ready; I think she's been ready to take care of him on her own. I'm not worried about them, I'm worried about you. Are you ready to do this?" He looked at her sympathetic. Then walked in all the way and closed the door behind him and leaned against the closed door instead.

Keep your distance, man, this could go bad real quick! Can't get too close to her, not when she's so vulnerable, and let's face it, so am I.

She stopped packing, and sat down next to her suitcase on the bed, and faced him. "I don't think I am. But to be honest, I don't think I'll ever be ready to give my baby away like that. I just have to, ready or not. I can't live here forever, it just …" Kate paused and looked around the room for a long moment, "… This house reminds me of so much. And this is what Aaron remembers, so Claire should live here with him. And I know you're thinking this is about Jack, but it isn't. Jack really hadn't lived here for very long. This is just about me needing a change." She looked up at him, pain written all over her face.

He really didn't know what to say, he tried his best to say the right thing. "Good for you, Freckles."

He smiled at her and hoped that she wouldn't start crying. If she did he'd have to console her, and the last time that happened, something else almost happened too.

She smiled back at him, and started packing again. But as she was walking back and forth between her closet and her suitcase, he suddenly realized what she was doing. Realizing that there weren't any moving boxes anywhere.

"So why are you packing a suitcase, instead of a moving box?" He had a bad feeling in his stomach all of a sudden.

"Well, I'm going to stay with a friend for a while, you know. Like I said, I need a change."

"What friend, and for how long?"
Where the fuck is she going?

"I can't tell you what friend, James. That's kinda the point, you know, trying to get away for a while. But it's just one month, not very long. I just need a break from LA, but I'm coming back. I bought the house a block from here. You know the one that was for sale –"

No longer in the mood for small talk James interrupted her then, "Yeah, yeah, I know which one you're talking about. What I wanna know is why the fuck you're doing this, Kate? Why can't you tell me where you're going? Why now?" He felt like his nightmare was coming true, right in front of him and he could neither stop it or wake up.

"What do you mean? I just told you?" She looked at him confused. "Did you hear anything I just said?"

"Yeah, I heard you just fine, but why do you have to put god knows how many states between us?"

"What? What are you talking about?" She knew what he was talking about, but she felt the need to pretend. She wasn't ready for where this conversation was heading.

"I'm talking about you and me, Freckles. And what almost happened two weeks ago!" He stood up straight now and walked towards her.

"Don't" She backed away and he stopped where he was.

"It's not like that." She shook her head. "I just need a breather, a few weeks to clear my mind, so I can move on from Aaron, this house, and everything that happened on that damn island. What happened two weeks ago, you know, you and me, it was nothing, really. We were both drunk, we were both hurt." She looked at him. "I'm not putting states between us, James, I'm still on probation, remember? I'm not leaving California, I'm just leaving town for one month, that's it."

"Yes, we were drunk, but we both know that the nothing happened the morning after, can't really blame that on the liquor, Sweetheart. And if it was all nothing then I'd like to know why you're running again, even though nothing happened." Something happened, he thought, more than enough happened.

"I'm not running, I told you. I'm just taking four weeks off, to be by myself. Is that so hard to understand, really?"

"Yes, actually it is. I can see you going to San Francisco for a weekend, or maybe even a week. I can see you driving down to Vegas, gambling some of that hard earned money from Oceanic away. But one month, really? And you won't even tell me where you're going?"

He was pacing back and forth now, and then started yelling, "You're scared, just admit it. You're scared of what might happen when you move into your own place, and…" He stopped, couldn't finish the sentence. Rubbing both his hands over his face, as if he was trying to wash away everything he just blurted out, and everything he wanted to say, but couldn't. Not yet.

"And what, James? You started this conversation, now finish it too!" She was yelling now too, furious that he would do this to her now, on this day, the day she was packing to leave Aaron with Claire.

"You know what!" He stopped pacing and looked at her. His eyes no longer furious, more pathetic the way he looked at her.

"Why are you doing this? This day is already so hard." She started sobbing now, tears ran down her cheeks. "I'm not running from us. I don't even know if there is an us to run from." She couldn't look at him. "I just need some time to think. I think we both do." She met his eyes.

He stood there and stared at her, and not for the first time he wondered why she is the way she is. What made her this way, unable to trust and unable to let anyone get closer before she pushed them away!

"Maybe you're right." He said cool, collected all of a sudden. No emotions. His voice just cold. He opened the door and without looking back said, "I guess I'll see you around."

She wanted to yell after him, but couldn't bring herself to do it. Instead she closed the door to her room, sunk to the floor right there against the door and cried.

Today out of all days? Did he have to do this to me?

She already felt miserable enough leaving Aaron and Claire, without his hurt feelings hovering over her like a dark and rainy cloud!

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That night – same place – around 2am

The door bell rang repeatedly, again and again. Whoever was at the door was gonna get a piece of her mind. Aaron was asleep and she had already been sleeping too.

Claire opened the door, ready to shout at whoever was standing there, but bit her tongue when she saw James leaning against the house. He was drunk, very drunk in fact.

"Sawyer? What the hell happened?" Claire stepped outside, to see if his car was parked in the drive, but instead saw a cab driving away in the distance. At least he was smart enough not to drive while he was wasted.

"Where is she?" He asked, not even able to stand on his own, reeking of alcohol and cigarettes.

Claire looked up at him. "Kate? She left hours ago, right after Aaron went to bed, around eight."

She grabbed his left arm, swung it around her shoulder and tried to help James get in the house. She managed to help him all the way to the couch. While she tried to get him to lie down, he fought her and struggled to sit up instead. Claire finally gave in and let him sit.

"What are you doing here, Sawyer? It's two in the morning. And why have you been drinking?"

"Where did she go?" He returned all her questions with a question of his own. Staring Claire down.

"She said not to tell you. I'm sorry." Claire felt sorry for him.

"Why is she doing this, Claire?" His speech slurred but desperate for answers.

"I don't know, that's between you and her. She wouldn't explain anything to me either; she just said she needed to clear her mind. And trust me; you wouldn't go after her anyways, if you knew where she was." Right after the words had left her mouth, she regretted it. Hoping actually that James was too drunk to put two and two together.

"What the hell's that 'spose to mean? I'd follow her anywhere, just like she'd always come back for me. That's what we do, we come back, every time." He looked at Claire searching her face for understanding. Which would have been a lot easier, if he didn't see two images of Claire move in front of him.

"Maybe you're right, maybe I should lay down." He said, and got into a lying position on the couch.

He closed his eyes, then he said, "She held my hand."

Claire looked at him, and smiled.

He opened his eyes again, lifted his head to look at Claire and then said it again, like it meant a lot to him, "She held my hand, on the island, when I was sad." He put his head back down, closed his eyes again.

"I believe you, Sawyer. But I really think you should try to get some sleep right now." He just nodded his head in response, eyes still closed.

Claire untied his shoes and took them off. Then grabbed the blanket from the lounge chair, and covered him up with it. It was painful to watch the way his head was angled on the armrest of the sofa. She took a pillow, tried to lift his head and upper body up enough to put the pillow under him, so he'd be more comfortable.

She whispered to him "There you go. That's better. Just get some rest, she'll be back in a month. It will all work out", and brushed his hair out of his eyes.

She sat down on the chair and watched him for a few minutes. He looked so hurt. She felt so sorry for him, and didn't understand why Kate did what she did. He was asleep now, stirring in his sleep, and out of nowhere he whispered, almost inaudible again,

"She held my hand."

Claire smiled and whispered back, "I know."

She turned all the lights back off, locked the front door and made her way upstairs. She sat there in bed, contemplating for a moment to call Kate and give her a piece of her mind. But she didn't, it was late, and she now had not just Aaron to take care of tomorrow, but apparently James too. So Claire went to sleep.

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At the same time, James was already fast asleep. Dreaming of Kate and all the things he would've done different would she give him a second chance.