Author's Notes:

This Chapter was pretty hard to write, cause it was hard to write Sawyer as someone that opens up this easily. By convincing Claire that she could be a good mom, he was also trying to convince himself that he could be a dad for Clementine. Either way, I hope you can see how or why Claire and him managed to get so close, over just 3 weeks. Please rate and review.

He opened his eyes, and Aarons face was literally inches away from his.

"Hi Uncle Sawyer"

He moaned in pain, "Hi yourself."

He tried to sit up, it took him a few attempts. Then he sat there, holding his forehead, obviously in pain.

Aaron yelled, "Mommy, he's not sleeping."

That yell was just a little too loud for Sawyers comfort.

Claire walked in, "I'm sorry, did he wake you up?" Looking at Sawyer, but he didn't answer.

"Aaron, go play in your room for a little bit, Uncle Sawyer and I have to talk."

"Oh, please don't, I don't feel like talking." My head feels like it's about to explode, he thought.

Aaron left, and Claire sat down beside him, looking over at him.

"You look like hell."

"I feel like it too." He looked over at her. "How did I get here?"

"You took a cab. You don't remember anything about last night?"

"Apparently not." He said sarcastically, almost a little afraid of what he might have done or said.

"Do you wanna tell me what happened between you and Kate yesterday?"

"We had a fight."

"I know that. She was pretty upset, after you had stormed out, but she didn't tell me what it was about. And then you show up here at 2 am, talking something about holding hands with her on the island, and wanting to know where she is. So, what really happened, Sawyer?"

She looked him right in the eye, and he knew right then and there, that he wasn't going to get away with some bullshit answer.

Claire and him had gotten pretty close during their 3 week stay together. It was just the two of them, with Aaron. His job was to take care of Aaron, he had promised Kate that he would. In his eyes, part of that meant to get Claire to reconnect with the kid, who now thought of her as his mother.

It wasn't an easy task. But he had managed to convince her that she could be a good mother to Aaron, helping her to become her old self again. He did that by revealing flaws in his own character to her, trying to get her to see that she can overcome her flaws as well.

By opening up to Claire about some of the things he had done, she was able to open up to Aaron. Try to be her old self again, and forgive herself for all the horrible things she had to do to survive on her own in the jungle for 3 years. He'd helped her so much, she was forever grateful.

And when he told her about his relationship with Juliet, and what had happened to her, she was surprised to say the least that he had ended up with Juliet. But either way, it was nice to talk to someone and that had helped him a lot in return with the whole Juliet issue. She could relate about losing someone, who died to save you, considering what had happened to Charlie.

So because of all that, Sawyer and Claire had become friends, probably just as close as him and Kate or even Miles. But it was a different kind of closeness, one they also kinda kept to themselves. Neither Miles nor Kate realized how openly Sawyer could talk to Claire and the other way around. She was definitely someone that could see past his facade, and get to the point of things, if she wanted too. But they had an agreement, whatever was spoken, stayed between the two of them.

He sighed, "When I realized that she was packing a suitcase, I confronted her about what happened 2 weeks ago. I accused her of running from us."

"And?" Claire's eyes were fixated on his face.

"And she said that there wasn't an us to even run from." He looked hurt.

"You know she probably didn't mean it. So, did you apologize for what you had said 2 weeks ago?"

"No, why would I apologize?" He looked at her with a shocked expression on his face.

"Because you said some really nasty things to her? About her playing with your heart, and all that. Then both of you don't talk for a week, then act like nothing happened, then you come over here and the next thing I know you storm out of here as if the roof is on fire. That's why?"

"Who's side are you even on? She hangs around me, she flirts, but then runs every time we get closer. That's not her playing with my heart, then what is?"

"First off, you hang around her. You've been coming over here almost every day, since we've been back, so that goes both ways, Sawyer. Second, the running was on the island, that was years ago.

And let's face it, as much as I appreciated the fact that you went with Locke's camp on that day, but you left her, knowing that she might be pregnant with your child. And trust me, that's a shitty feeling that I can relate too. You do remember me telling you about Aarons dad, don't you? So, don't tell me she's the only one that runs. You've done your share of trying to alienate her more than once."

She was right.

"Okay, but still, she did it again. She acts like she wants it, but then says it's a mistake, it's nothing, there is no us, and runs. That's not just all in my head, it's not in the past, it's happening right now. The only exception is that back then, she'd run to Jack, now she won't even tell me where she's running to."

"Has it ever occurred to you that she doesn't want to get any closer right now for a reason? I mean, it's been barely 8 month since Juliet died, so maybe it's too early to be more than friends right now."

"And Jack died too." He felt the need to add him to the equation.

"Yes, but Jack and her were broken up, you and Juliet on the other hand would have been married, so there's a big difference." She gave him a knowing look.

"So you're saying that she is doing this because of Juliet and me, and that it has nothing to do with Jack? And I'm supposed to believe that?" He rolled his eyes at her.

"I'm not saying that she doesn't care about Jack, I know she does. I know she has struggled with it, she told me so herself. But the fact of the matter remains. Her and Jack had a fighting chance that they both blew, when Jack and her realized that a promise to you …" She stopped, when she realized she was about to say something to Sawyer that she didn't know if Kate wanted him to know.

"A promise to me what?"

"Doesn't matter. But either way, they both blew it. And then he chooses the island over her. And yes, it's debatable if his reasons were valid, it all depends on who you ask, but in her eyes, he chose to stay. And in my opinion, he stayed probably because he knew you and her would end up together anyways. He really had nothing left to lose, he'd already lost her."

"I hate to break it to you, goldilocks, but you weren't there when she told him she loved him. It didn't look to me like nothing. It looked like she meant it."

"And she probably did. Just like you meant it, when you said you would have stayed with Juliet. You loved her, didn't you? Which brings me back to my original point. I think she might be doing this, because she thinks that you aren't over Juliet yet. So are you?"

He looked at her, took in a deep breath, then a huff, looked down at the carpet on the floor in front of him, "I don't know. I think about her a lot, but I've already told you that. It's just …" He stopped.

"It's just what?" Claire wasn't gonna let up now, when she felt so close to finally figure Sawyer out.

"It's just even shortly after Juliet had died, I thought that Kate and I might end up together." There, it was out. His soul exposed to Claire. I am a horrible person, and you should know that.

Claire just looked at him. Wowed by his openness. Speechless. She reached for his hand and squeezed it.

"I mean, not immediately of course. It's just after she'd told me why she wanted to help Jack, it was clear that she knew how I felt about Kate. Then everything happened so fast. And she was gone, just gone.

Next thing I know I wake up at the temple, Kate hovering above me, cleaning my wound. I felt so much for her. Felt like I did that time I woke up in the hatch, with her right there. And this was literally hours after Juliet had died in my arms. What kinda person would do that?" He looked at Claire for answers.

She was still holding his hand. "I guess the kind of person that was in love with two people at the same time."

"But then I got mad at myself for feeling that way. We were being held captive at the temple. Now it was my turn to run. I looked right at her, said don't come after me. I didn't know if she would. I didn't know if I wanted her too, maybe secretly I did want her too. And sure enough, she had followed me and showed up in Dharmaville. Did she ever tell you 'bout that?" He looked over at Claire, wondering if and what Kate had said about it.

"No, she didn't. What happened?"

He swallowed, "When I got back to the house, I felt like I was losing it. Trying to wrap my mind around everything that had happened. My past with Kate. And Juliet and I. But now Juliet was gone. And even during my relationship with Juliet, I hoped that Kate would come back to the island. 3 years I've waited for her to come back. And now she had, she was here. Secretly thinking that she had come back for me."

He appreciated Claire just listening. He looked at her, and said, "The ring was meant for Kate. I wasn't going to propose to Juliet. Not that I had actually planed out to propose to Kate either, but regardless, I held on to it. I'd found it in one of the Dharma houses, when we lived there with Locke for a while."

He was still looking at Claire. Claire just nodded at him, suggesting she knew what he was talking about.

"I had it with me on the chopper, still had it when I made it back to the beach. So when we ended up in the seventies, and Juliet and I got together I hid it. Under the floorboard, underneath a heavy wooden dresser.

I didn't want Juliet to find it accidently and wonder if it was for her. I had hidden it where she'd never find it. And you know the ironic thing is, that the night before Kate made it back to the island, I saw the damage something like that can do first hand. When someone you love ends up finding something that belonged to your lost love. Wanted to spare Juliet from that, but at the same time I couldn't bring myself to just throw the damn ring out either.

Anyways, now Jules was gone. I moved the dresser, started ripping the floor open, and found the box that I had put there. I had the ring in my hand when I heard a noise. I pulled my gun, and sure enough it was Kate. She turned around to look at me, and when I saw her stand there, I couldn't believe how easily she got to me again with those eyes. Her just looking at me, it felt like she'd never left. And in my crazy mind, I thought that meant something. She'd followed me, stumbled onto me right as I held the ring in my hand that at one point I had kept for her.

I walked outside, she followed me. I was heartbroken, but if there was ever a moment of truth, this would be it. I was convinced she would tell me that she hd come back to the island for me, and I thought that maybe if she could admit to that, I could find a way to admit that I still loved her too. But instead she said that she'd come back for you."

He looked over at Claire. Claire had tears in her eyes by now. She couldn't believe he was telling her all of this. She squeezed his hand again, and said quietly, "I'm so sorry."

"So that's when I really lost it, couldn't keep it together anymore. I felt like I had betrayed Juliet for someone that didn't even want me, didn't even love me anymore.

I told her that it was my fault that Juliet died. Showed her the ring. Said that I was going to ask Jules to marry me. I also said that I think I was meant to be alone. Not meant to be with anybody. Threw the ring in the water right there in front of her. Then pretty much told her to leave. So she did. I had managed to lose both of them on the same day." He sighed, suddenly realizing that pounding headache he'd ignored for a while.

He pulled his hand out of Claires hand, rested his elbows on his knees and buried his face in his hands.

Claire just looked at him, she couldn't speak, too choked up by what she had just heard him explain. When she finally regained her composure she said,

"So, it sounds to me you're not quite over either one of them."

He still didn't say anything.

"Well, something must have changed your mind though about Kate, because when both of you were at Locke's camp, you were inseparable again. So how did that happen?"

"It was all because I saw her name crossed out on that wall in the cave. Made me realize that I had to at least try to protect her, get her of that damn island. Especially after I had failed so miserably in protecting Jules."

He sighed, couldn't believe he told Claire everything that he'd actually never said out loud to anyone. Who would have thought that the 'crazy woman' would end up being the shrink for the rest of them?

"Maybe it's a good thing that she left for a little while. It's really the first time that you are alone, without either one of them. You should take this as a chance to clear your mind, to really think things through. And maybe she's doing the same thing right now? But I know you mean a lot to her. I know she has feelings for you. She's been heartbroken too, by you and Jack. You both just need to grow up and say what you really feel for one another. Because after listening to everything you had to say. And after listening to Kate over the last couple month, it seems both of you are more likely to tell each other why you shouldn't be together, then why you should. Just throwing it out there."

He didn't say anything, didn't know what to say. Maybe Claire was right? Hell, who knows. Not like he could change anything anyways. Kate's gone, has to be without her, whether he wants to or not.

She looked up at the clock hanging on the wall. "It's almost lunch time. Why don't you go upstairs, you can take a shower in Kate's old room? Miles should be here any minute, I told him to bring you a change of clothes."

He finally looked up and over to her. And just said, "Okay, Dr. Phil! You don't happen to have an aspirin or something for a killer headache?"

"Sure, hold on, I get you something."

"Thank you." Was all he said, and when she looked in his eyes, she knew he wasn't talking about the aspirin.