Chapter 5: In which Suzume reads a letter.

Location: In an envelope addressed to Suzume, on the table, Urahara's Shop, Karakura Town, Japan, Bleach.

Copyright: Mostly mine, with a faint flavour of Tite Kubo to spice it up.

DO NOT READ UNLESS YOU'RE SUZUME. CONTAINS SPOILERS. THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION.

Hi, Suus!

How's life? I know, stupid question because you're worried sick about me at the moment. I can't help it; I suck at writing a normal letter. You have no idea how many failed versions of this letter have ended up in a dark corner of the world, doomed to be a pellet forever.

Anyway, here I go again. To tell you the truth, I'm a bit scared to come to the point, that's why I keep circling around it. Which is pretty mean, considering how anxious you've been this entire day. Why am I scared to come to the point? Because I don't know how to tell you without making you, or rather myself, upset again. But I will be a big girl and write it down like NOW, after I have warned you to take a seat or whatever kind of support. Although I think you're not the type to faint anyway. Sitting comfortably? Here goes:

I got kidnapped.

I actually don't want to go in detail because- O dear, look at the ink spots I've made now. Crybaby. But maybe it's better to tell you what exactly happened, so that you at least know I'm in one piece. After all, I got more than 2 hours left to write this. I already spent 2 on the earlier versions of this letter, to be honest.

I was in the park, all by my lonely self, and then I noticed I actually wasn't alone at all. And then someone said "Correct me if I'm wrong, but you wouldn't happen to be a Plot Guardian, would you?" And I looked up and I thought O SHIT.

And it was Grimmjow with his scary smirk, and, well, umm, I kind of freaked out. In a high-pitched way. And then he said "That's not the right answer" and he grabbed me by my collar and lifted me up in the air. Have you ever been lifted up like that? It hurts more than you think, the fabric cuts into your skin- But I'm wandering off topic.

So I started kicking around and screaming but as you know Grimmjow has the magical fairy dust Arrancar skin, so the only result of my kicks was a sore right toe. And there was not a single person in the park to hear me screech. And since I wasn't fainting and there didn't show up any supernatural help, I suppose he was hiding his spiritpower too. So it was all in vain.

And then he repeated the question, and added that I better not lie to him.

So I replied that I wasn't such a thing, and asked what the hell he was talking about and who the hell he was. Yeah, I thought that would be a smart thing to do. Which it was not.

Because then he said: "Then I can dispose of you without any troubles, eh?" And let go of me and I fell on the ground (I now have two bruises on my sensitive little bottom) and took out his sword. And then I screamed "No, no no no wait wait wait it's a mistake I'm sorry I AM a Plot Guardian my bad don't kill me."

Which wasn't very smart either. Then he still moved his swords towards my throat and said "Prove it!" and I said:

"You're called Grimmjow" but the sword did not stop on its way, so I continued and I told him his rank, where his hole is supposed to be, what his sword and its release are called, and I don't remember what else, something about Ulquiorra too and that the Espada live in Las Noches and then I stopped to catch my breath.

Sorry for ignoring all rules of punctuation and taking a ridiculous amount of blank lines, which makes this altogether look way too dramatic and wastes a lot of paper, which of course ruins the rainforests, but if I pause too long there will be more ink spots, and they're all over the place already. I think this pen is a bit broken.

And then he put the sword back into the sheath and looked down on me with a mixture of pure disdain and disappointment. Then he slapped me. I guess I'm pretty lucky there didn't come more, although my cheek is still red. And he said: "You better not lie to me again, missy, or we'll just replace you with that second one, ain't that fair?" And I gasped because I hadn't realized yet that if Aizen knew about Plot Guardian Business, he would know about you too. So I asked how the hell he knew that. I know that's stupid. I know I should've denied that you existed, but I was a little shaken up at the time, ok?

And then Grimmjow laughed. "How do I know that? You still don't get the picture?" And then he told me the rest. Please fasten your seat belts:

Almost everything that happened until now was, pardon me the cliché, PART OF AIZEN'S PLAN.

Hollow that nearly took me as lunch? Part of Aizen's plan. Ichigo saving my sorry butt? Part of Aizen's plan. Urahara explaining everything to us? Part of Aizen's plan. Me writing this letter? Part of Aizen's plan. O shoot, there are the ink spots again. Anyway, just giving this all the 'Part Of Aizen's Plan' stamp won't do, and since I have nothing else to do, I'll just explain:

Aizen knew of our advent before we had even stepped inside the wardrobe. Don't ask me why,Grimmjow didn't know himself, so for the time being I blame it on his current occupation of almighty antagonist. And he set out these nice little Hollows called Espias (I'm pretty sure that's Spanish for spies, considering his skills at coming up with creative names) in Karakura to await our arrival. Those nice little buggers can hide their spiritpower and perform shape shifts or something. You now probably realize that that thing that nearly ate me was one of those things, and apparently it was ordered to attack us the moment we were spotted. So that Aizen could see if we were granted any abilities to defend ourselves. I guess that he got his answer quite quickly. And via the rest of those Espias Aizen has apparently heard our entire conversation at Urahara's.

Big Brother Sousuke is watching you.

And now we make our jump back to the present, with me at a table, writing this to you. A detail I probably should mention is that I am currently wearing a very familiar, fancy and fashionable bracelet that is oddly enough shaped like a handcuff.

Yes. That bracelet. The one Inoue will be wearing in about 10 episodes when she says goodbye to Ichigo. The one that makes you invisible and gives you superspecialawesome ghost powers. The one that allows you to say goodbye to your friends without having them notice you. A present from Aizen, with the instructions to meet Grimmjow again at the same spot within 12 hours. Oh, and I was forbidden to communicate directly with any of you.

So I just went back to the shop and watched you guys panic. Man, you can swear when you're angry! If only I weren't drowning in self-pity. Then I would've laughed my ass off about what you called Ikkaku. And since it was a pretty sad sight to see you all so concerned (though it warmed my heart, I must confess) I thought of writing a letter to tell you I'm ok. Although this is more like a full-detailed report than a letter.

That leaves us with the end of the story. So here comes the emotional goodbye speech:

Don't worry about me, because I'm doing it myself enough already. As long as I still have my Plot Guardian "powers" I'll be safe. My motto for now will be: Scienta Potestas Est. That is Latin for 'knowledge is power'. Having a Latin motto might just compensate the fact I have a soul made of pudding. Why do I keep rambling like this? Argh, Aizen is SO going to pay my psychiatrist.

You know, maybe it's better this way: Now we have a Plot Guardian at both sides. 50% more chance it'll work out, right? I'll just be hangin' out with the Arrancar crew for a while, and guard the plot at Las Noches. You make sure that the protagonists don't screw up! That's about it, and I only have an hour left to find that cursed park again, so this is the goodbye. Finally. Geez, I sure write long letters, hmm? Might just be related to the fact that if I finish this letter, it will be my official leave-taking and there's no going back. Ah, the optimism.

Sayonara, Myrthe-chan.

PS: If you and your good-guys-gang don't show up in time at Las Noches to save my sorry ass, my vengeful spirit shall not rest until Renji and Rukia get married ON SCREEN and ask you to be the bridesmaid.

PPS: Don't get killed on your way here or I'll end up waiting in Las Noches till I can sing soundly. And I don't like waiting for a long time if I don't have my iPod with me. What I'm trying to say is: I'm scared like hell and I don't want you to die. GOT IT MEMORIZED?

Me: DONE! It took me long enough to write this. Actually, not the writing part, the REwriting part. Because I first had this little nice effect called scratch, with which I could make a single line through text as if it were scratched through. It looked pretty neat and much more like a real letter. Then I found out FF doesn't support that kind of tricks.

Fanfic!Myrthe: .

Me: Shut up or I'll make you embarrass yourself in front of the entire Arrancar cast. So, what do you guys think? Liked this idea?

Fanfic!Myrthe: I think you should change back to the original way of storytelling.

Me: *Runs to the emocorner after swearing revenge*

Fanfic!Myrthe: -_-; I'll be just on my way to Las Noches, then.