Chapter Fifteen – Crowd

Sydney's POV

I mindlessly stood up and started to get off the plane, still clutching to Louis' hand. The landing had been rough and I was still terrified that I was going to die. My subconscious knew that I was being ridiculous, but I couldn't help it.

I watched as Louis struggled to collect his things with only one free hand. However, I didn't release my grasp and I just stood there motionless.

There was a quick exchange between him and Niall, and before I knew it Niall's hand had replaced Louis'. He led me off the plane, or more like dragged my limp body.

Not a single word came out of either of our mouths as we walked down the isle and through the tunnel. I could faintly hear an immense amount of chatter buzzing around me, but couldn't make out any singular voices or words.

It was all a blur as we entered the building and were bombarded by people. Paul and all the other security were surrounding us, not allowing any of the girls to come close.

I felt a thump as my head turned, now throbbing. A fan was flailing her arms and managed to clobber me in the head. This sensation finally brought life to my mind and my body. It was madness; girls were throwing themselves hopelessly to get the boy's attention. Screaming, they held out pens and papers for the boys to sign and took never-ending amounts of photographs with flashing cameras.

I was suddenly very glad that I decided to change into a decent outfit while I was on the plane. I put my free hand around my bag and yanked it further up on my shoulder. I now understood why the boys refused to allow Lux onto the same plane as us.

Niall's hand was still wrapped around my own and it made me smile. His rough skin engulfed my dainty fingers. I was in bliss, imagining Niall holding my hand everywhere we went together. Yes, I had a bit of a crush on him. How could you not, though? Niall was a definition of adorable, and everything he did made me laugh. Besides, it didn't hurt that he was really attractive and we could produce very blonde, very blue eyed, very talented babies together.

My day dream was interrupted when I was suddenly on the ground, alone. I panicked as feet surrounded me and stepped over me and stepped on top of me. My hand shot up, reaching for help but found none. My breath became short and tears had escaped my eyes as my screams were muffled by everyone else. My hair was being ripped out and my clothes were becoming stained.

I eventually just gave up, figuring everyone would move on and I would be left to try and drag myself home. But before I knew it, I was being swept up into someone's arms. My brain was too confused and my vision was too muddled to figure out who it was, and I didn't frankly care. I was out of the crowd, and that's all that mattered. My body was limp in their arms, but they had no trouble lifting my dead weight.

I could tell that we were still being followed by a mass of girls but that they were becoming further and further away. The person carrying me climbed into a car filled with other people.

I could faintly hear the tone of Theresa's voice as she worried about my state. Apparently they all had noticed when I went down, but none of them were able to reach me, being pushed and shoved in every direction. My head spun in circles as we started moving, so I clutched to the person whose lap I was sitting upon. My hand reached around their neck and I blacked out once again.

When I woke there was an IV in my arm and my clothes were replaced by a hospital gown. I quickly searched for a button to call the nurse.

A woman dressed in colorful scrubs appeared three minutes later exclaiming that she was glad I was finally awake. She kept chattering to the point where I had to rudely interrupt her.

"Excuse me, why am I here?" I asked, confused as to why I was in an unfamiliar hospital.

"Well sweetie, you blacked out due to lack of nutrition and then got trampled at the airport. You regained consciousness when one of your friends managed to salvage you, but you blacked out again when you got into the car." She replied, giving me a discerning look.

"Oh," was all I managed to speak. I knew that I hadn't been eating recently, but I didn't know it would land me in the hospital. "Um, will any of this information be released to the public?"

"Of course not, all our records are private. The only people that know are I, the doctor, and your friends. Speaking of, they're itching to see you. Do you mind?"

I shook my head and laid back down, preparing for the swarm of questions and lecturing that was going to come from Theresa. As they all entered the room I discovered my preparations were a good thing. Theresa came right up to me and spoke incoherently. I just laid there as she ranted about how she knew something like this was going to happen and how she planned to shove food down my throat every three hours.

I was thankful when Liam finally decided I had heard enough and needed to be left alone. They all gave me a hug and told me that they were glad I was okay.

When Harry came to hug me, he told the others to go on ahead and he would catch up to them. I was confused until he pulled up a chair next to me and grabbed my hand. I smelled the familiar scent of the person who had plucked me up from the crowd.

"It was you," I whispered. "You saved my life."

I was in disbelief. Of all of the boys, he must have been getting swarmed the most, yet he managed to pick me up and save me.

He ran one hand through his curly hair. He smiled slightly and I could see red rims around his eyes to indicate he had been crying.

"Harry, oh, Harry." I cried, reaching my arms around him.

We both started sobbing as he realized how much of what I said to him when he kissed me was true. I was a mess, and he now knew it.

"Sydney, I'm so sorry for doing that to you the other night. I know I just made things worse for you and I hate myself for doing that."

I shushed him as I shook my head. "Harry, no. You did nothing to me. Sure, I got a little messed up, but it's not because of you. Like I said, you're too great and I don't deserve you. Everything is just coming at me so fast and I'm really not good at change, but I'm getting better."

"But Syd, if it weren't for me thinking with my dick and kissing you before we talked about anything, both of these nights would have never happened. I feel as though I should just let you be, but I feel too responsible."

"Harry, before you walk into my life, there's something you should know about me. You need to know that I'm a very insecure person, I have very low self esteem, and I'm not perfect. I am everything but perfect. I find it hard to trust people now. I've made mistakes in my past and I've learned to live with them. I've learned to accept people for who they are, it's not hard. Sometimes, I can't be bothered anymore. Sometimes I don't even want to be alive, but, the thing is. I have a million reasons to be alive and I just haven't found them yet. I miss the people that I shouldn't even think about anymore. I've liked, I've loved, and I've been hurt. I have hurt people. I'm not perfect. But hey, this is me. And before you walk into my life, you need to know these things. Because if you walk into my life, you can't walk out of my life when things are getting hard. Just like all the other people did."

We sat in silence as he absorbed my words. He started to speak a few times but nothing came out. I decided to help him by grabbing his hand.

Eventually he spoke, "Okay, Sydney. I promise. I promise to not be just like everyone else in your life, because you deserve better then that. And I promise to be your friend, and nothing more."

He placed his head on our hands and stayed there. I eventually drifted back into sleep, letting the aroma of his cologne embrace me.