Chapter 10: In which I use way too many references.
Location: My mind/the Center.
Copyright: My mind is mine. I hope. Never trust the governenment, kids!
"… Aslan?"
I must be tripping really badly right now.
Right in front of me stood a lion. A huge, friendly lion.
I wonder what they put in my coffee this morning.
"You can just call me that, yes. Or Rumbleroar- If I'm not mistaken, you are also acquainted with the Very Potter Musicals."
It just answered.
It just TALKED.
It's a LION. Who can TALK.
I am TALKING with a LION.
"Oh God" I muttered, closing my eyes.
"Quite the stereotypical reaction, but I advise you not to waste any time now."
"I am talking with a lion" I said annoyed "while being in some sort of… nothingness…" I looked around- nothing but white fog.
"Yes. I thought I should go for the classic, you know" the lion answered, smiling. "White fog seemed a nice cliché."
"I accidently have come to hate white." The creature in front of me sighed. "This is going to be exactly as hard as I feared."
It looked up. "Maybe I shouldn't have taken on Aslan's shape after all. It just seemed like a nice pun, you know, since you came here through a wardrobe, and in Narnia-"
"Where the hell am I?"
"Well, that is a bit of a complicated question. For the moment, let's just assume this is happening in your head."
"So I am tripping."
"Yes and no. Not in the figurative meaning of the word, but you are taking a trip inside the Center- Ooh, tripping and a trip, I should write that one down, really" it muttered to itself.
I let out an obnoxious sigh, which seemed to catch his attention again.
"Right. You. Plot Guardian number two, Myrthe. Utterly blond. Hates slimy vegetables. Loves fruit and cake. Is a royal failure with any kind of videogame, but loves to play them anyways as long as they have a solid plot. Likes to blow bubbles under the shower. Cannot draw manga, but loves countless series. Thinks she's too good for Twilight but read the books anyways. Gets grumpy if she can't read her newspaper in peace in the morning-
"Yeah, it's about me. I get the point" I interrupted. "I don't really wanna know how you got to know those things."
The lion smiled- I backed away further at the sight of his teeth. It seemed to realize this.
"Maybe this isn't the best shape after all. Just hang on a minute." It seemed to think. And then suddenly I stood eye to eye with Urahara Kisuke.
Blink. What the hell. At that point, I decided it was best to just go with the flow before I would turn utterly mad. I'm tripping anyway; let's just see where this brings me.
"There. I hope this seems less intimidating?" Urahara asked.
"Better, yes" I murmured back.
"Good. This character is often involved when the plot is explained, so I thought it would make more sense if I looked like him."
I nodded.
"So, I figured I should explain where we are and what I am first."
I nodded.
"How talkative. Well then. You, my dear, are in the Center." The way he said it made it sound as if I was on the most exclusive place in the world.
So I nodded. He seemed to be a little taken aback with that.
"Um, right. You have absolutely not idea what the Center is, right? Of course you don't, you have no idea what is happening in the first place, what the hell am I thinking?" The last part was more directed at himself than at me. He took a deep breath.
"Let's see, how should I explain this… Right. Let's say, that you are a bit like April Ryan from The Longest Journey and Sora from Kingdom Hearts, and I'm a bit like Yuuko from XXXHolic and the Composer from The World Ends With You, and the place we are now is a bit like where Truth resided from Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood and where Harry Potter had his last conversation with Dumbledore. Get it?"
I nodded.
"You don't get it at all, do you?"
I nodded.
"And I tried so hard using stories you knew of!" He sighed. "Right. Forget what I said. Reboot- I'm just telling you the facts, whether you can follow it or not."
Prepare for crapstory.
"First fact: The place where you lived, your home, 'your' Earth, is your world. The place you are now is a different world- you'd say it would be the so-called Bleach universe.
Fact Two: Just because you considered Bleach fiction, doesn't mean this is any less real than your own world. I know it'll take time for you to accept this fact completely, since your head easily starts to hurt when you start philosophizing- and don't give me that look, sweetplum, I know everything of you.
Moving along to Fact 3: These two worlds you know of aren't the only ones out there. There are millions, gazillions, infinite other worlds, just as real as your own- just think of Kingdom Hearts, I believe that concept is kind of similar."
"So all the other world are from Disney?"
He sighed again. "Well cupcake, I expected are more intelligent answer from you. Does this world look like Disney?"
Bounce-head-against-wall-urges rising…
"I know you like Disney, but it's only one percent relevant. You see, here comes Fact 4: All these worlds are stories."
I took some time trying to figure that out.
I give up.
"Stories?"
"Stories, blueberry. Stories. The moment a story is told, the fictional world in which this story takes place becomes a real one, like a new star in the universe is made- how that star is made is up to other stories. There is molecular gas; there is the smile of an infant; the wish of an innocent soul-"
"But that number is, like, INFINITE!"
"And with that I refer to Fact 3: There are millions and gazillions of other stories out there." He looked at me. "If I were you, I wouldn't think too deep about this matter. It's painful. For your head. Just try to accept this, like one and one is two."
I nodded.
"Well. All those stories, all those worlds co-exist. Just try to imagine all of them together like all the stars in the sky, each shining their own light alone. But even stars are bound by laws- in your world; it would be the laws of physics. And that is where I come in."
Because it wasn't confusing enough already.
"You see, these laws, though very few in number and quite flexible, must be maintained no matter what, and that is my task."
"Which is why you compared yourself to Yuuko from XXXHolic."
"Right. Right! You seem to catch the drift."
"Which means that you are basically in charge of what happens in stories-"
"Correction, with stories-"
"-so you're the one who got me into this mess."
Phew. Finally got that out of my system.
He seemed surprised, but smiled reassuringly.
"I am sorry. I should have explained that part earlier."
Any more explanation and my head will explode, thank you.
"The one responsible for you ending up here is Aizen Sousuke."
I couldn't hold down the cold shiver that name sent through my body.
That is just awesome. Even his name is stronger than me.
"To explain you correctly how he did it would take far too much time and would, regarding your intellectual capacities, be an impossible task anyway, so please forgive me if I just state the obvious: He caused something like a disorder in… Well, for the sake of understandable clichés, the space-and-time-continuum. Yeah. Let's keep that name."
I still don't really get it. At all.
"I wasn't finished, pudding. See, causing a disorder isn't the right word. It's more like he consciously forced an error. An error that caused two worlds to overlap- guess three times which two."
"So… If I summarize this well: There is an infinity of worlds, each world being a story, each story co-existing next to the others without overlapping, and you're in charge of preventing that, and Aizen screwed that up causing his world and my world to overlap." I had to take a deep breath afterwards.
He smiled approvingly.
"I could have said it much better, but yes, you seem to grasp the essence."
"Then there is one, tiiiiiny little thingy I don't get."
"Ask away, I'd say!"
"What, pray tell WHAT, does this have to do with ME?"
"I had hoped our conversation had ended before this question, but it seems something is keeping your artificially asleep."
"Well?"
He sighed.
"Well. I'm going to put this as simple as I can. I told you before, Aizen caused a disruption in the space-and-time-continuum" he grinned. "Listen to me. Spewing clichés like a brought to life Hollywood. Anyway, this 'disruption' caused…" He seemed to ponder for a moment. "It caused… Well, that'll be a bit too hard to explain after all. Let's assume it caused something, which led to some sort of 'hole'."
"A hole in what?"
"A hole in the thing that keeps your world and this one apart. See, your world is connected to the 'Bleach Universe' because it is known in yours as 'Bleach'. But it is getting too complicating again, if I read your face right. Just accept that if in one world a story is known, told or created, these two stories will be connected. Like yours and Bleach."
"I'm getting a headache."
"You asked for it. Literally. Ha! I'm on a ROLL, people!"
When he met my not-so-impressed gaze, he quickly went back to his solemn voice.
"I'm getting a headache too. Well, to make things short, this hole was extremely dangerous to the precious order I must keep, so I had to take measures."
"And by 'measures' you mean sending a powerless, helpless and mentally vulnerable little human girl to a world ruled by people with giant swords, unrealistic amounts of invisible power and uncanny intelligence?"
"You should add 'short-fused and unnecessarily cynic' to the characteristics. Just saying."
I tried my best at lifting just one eyebrow, but I probably ended up looking ridiculous.
"Listen, cherry pie, I think you are under the impression that I chose you. Which is a wrong impression. You are not chosen; and you ending up here is purely bad luck."
Bad luck. You are calling my situation BAD LUCK. That must be the greatest understatement since… Well, I'll think up a witty internetmeme-reference for that later. Just give him the epic fail death stare.
"Ok, I probably should have paraphrased that better, but the essence is the same. You're not chosen one, you weren't really sent here on a mission. You and your friend were just the first two that met the right conditions for being sucked into this world through the earlier mentioned hole."
"The right conditions?"
"Oh, they're not very specific conditions. The first two people who had knowledge of Bleach, passed through a door while imagining things would be sent here."
"Alright, the first one makes sense…"
"But the other two conditions must have been made on drugs?"
"Y-yeah."
"Ah, but carrot, see, even this space-continuum-thing has some clichés- clichés that have become clichés because of their frequent existence. A frequent existence in stories, a frequency that can only be created when based on a core of truth. Doors, chocolate-chip, the universal signs for travel, for crossing borders, for change, are and will be the only way to cross a world- it doesn't matter in what shape the door is. And imagination, I believe you can figure that out quite easily. The entity of all is an infinite number of stories. And stories live and die through imagination. So, let's put the three key points together: knowledge, travel and imagination, and connect them to the very moment you and Suzume opened your wardrobe. At that very point, you met the three conditions: You opened a door, you had just watched Bleach so your knowledge was still fresh, and at least one of you must have imagined secretly that something really WOULD happen once you stepped inside. And then you tumbled down the rabbit hole and fell flat on your face here. I've seen countless entrances, but yours wasn't that bad."
"Right."
"So, does that answer your question?"
"I… I guess. But now what?"
"Now what?" Now what what?" I swear I saw a sneaky little spark from beneath the hat.
I grumbled. "Now what? Now what? What do you think I want to know? HOW DO I GET HOME?"
"I'd say you just follow the yellow road to the Emerald City- Oh pardon me." Clearly, I wasn't in the mood for references to any fiction at all. Not even the Wizard of Oz. And I showed that.
"Well?"
"Um, yeah, the returning part. About that. You see… Oh! But look at the time! You're about to wake up! I should leave!"
Suddenly, the white fog around me started to swirl around violently, effectively hiding Urahara from my sight.
"Wait! How do I get home? Get back! What am I supposed to do! Where are you? What happens to everyone back home? COME BACK HERE! ASSHOLE! ASS-"
ASSHOLE.
My last thought returned as my first thought when I opened my eyes again. Followed by the thought MY HEAD HURTS. SO MUCH. And then a couple words that aren't very suitable for repetition.
Why does everything here have to be damn white? It burned into my eyes, actually more like through my eyes and directly piercing my brain. Stupid ceiling. Stupid lamps shining in my face. Stupid silver reflecting light in my eyes-
Wait. Lamps? Silver?
With some effort, I looked up and slowly looked around.
Please tell me I've woken up in a hospital for humans. Suddenly a ray of hope struck me and paralyzed me with cautious joy. I was in a hospital! Everything that had happened to me had been nothing but one big dream, a nightmare, probably forced on to me by excessive use of morphine and a long, long coma. I secretly hoped I had been in a coma from a terrible and tragical accident that I barely survived… Or no, much better, I got in the hospital because I did something incredible heroic and apparently incredibly dangerous, and everyone besides me knew how amazing I was. Ok, given, I already knew I was amazing, but not everyone agreed. Until now. Oh, the joy people would have when they would find out I was awake! Not to mention, I must've gotten a gazillion presents from all over the country, no, all over the freaking world from my admirers, and also maybe a medal of honor, yes, that would be most fitting-
"So, you've finally woken up."
FUCK.
That was most definitely not the friendly voice of a friendly doctor. That was the sickening sound of the pink-haired mad scientist that took the word 'fabulous' to a different and creepy level. Szayel Apollo Grantz.
And then he quite bluntly shoved into my sight by bending over me, his pink hair almost tickling my nose. With a fair amount of willpower I could keep myself from screaming.
"Verona, contact Aizen. You, get up."
I did. Faster than I should, because the world start to shift unnaturally and my headache temporarily increased. I groaned.
"So it's true what they say about your lack of any physical stamina. Not to mention the lack of mental stamina" he mused to himself, not explicitly trying to lower his voice.
"Why am I here?" I squeaked. I did NOT like hospitals. At all. And this looked far too much like it.
Fancyface turned and gave me a scornful look.
"You are here" he said slowly, as if talking to a not-so-intelligent 2-year-old, "because a few hours ago, you collapsed due to an excess in thyroid hormones in your blood because apparently, you had a thyroid condition you kept from us. That and a lot of stress."
"I get that" I snapped back, "but why am I here?" I gestured towards the object I was laying on, an object that resembled an operation table a bit too much for comfort.
"Oh that" he answered casually. "That was just for some direct research surgery. I have to say, you are very disappointing. Not a single thing in your body piqued my interest, besides your unusual brain activity during your narcosis. I expected more from someone who comes from a different universe. Not even a-"
"You did RESEARCH on ME while I was ASLEEP?" I squeaked.
He didn't seem to understand my point.
"Yes, and as I stated before, it was very disappoint-"
And that is were I got up fully and ran out of the room. For a full distance of approximately 5 meters, before someone grabbed my hair and pulled me back. I stumbled backwards, lost my balance and fell to the ground, my scalp burning while the same person held my hair upwards.
"Ugh, now I'll need to change my gloves again. Just stay put until Lord Aizen shows up, human."
"There will be no need for waiting, my dear Grantz" answered an awful voice suddenly, and my hair was freed immediately.
This time, when I looked that loathed man in the eyes, I did not scream or worse. I just stood there seemingly frozen, my hands forming fists again without even bothering to ask my brain, urging to hit him again.
"Is it that hard to smile for you?" Aizen asked bemused.
"Well, if you excuse me, Lord Aizen, I'll go back to my important tasks" and with that the mad scientist made a flawless pirouette and hop-scotched back to his lab. Such grace.
"Please, have a walk with me" Aizen said, offering me his arm in an outrageously old-fashioned manner. When I didn't accept it and backed away instead, he didn't seem to be bothered at all. Instead, he just took my arm in an iron grip and forced me to walk along the great white hall.
"You know, we never finished our interesting talk before you took your little nap."
I wanted to stop mid-walk dramatically, but I just got dragged along and stumbled forth, my expression showing clearly how much I disliked that statement.
We just strolled along quietly for a while, my tension rising with every step we took. I had no idea what he was up to; but it wouldn't be good. Also, I slowly started to remember all the crazy stuff that had happened either in my head or at a divine Center or whatever the hell it was called.
"So, before you passed out, we were discussing how your friends would be doing when they would arrive here."
DO NOT WANT.
"See, I don't like being lied to. You have gravely hurt my feelings."
Well excuuu-uuuu-uuse, me, pri-
Suddenly, his grasp tightened around my arm, forcing me to stop, to turn, and to look him in the eyes. Really creepy, polite, psychotic, friendly and murderous eyes.
"I really don't like being lied to. But if it happens, I will not hesitate to lie back myself. Please remember that."
And he vanished
And I just stood there, unable to stop myself from trembling again. After a while, I just kind of fell on my knees, rather overdramatically. I just needed to sit. There was just happening too much. Well, there had happened too much- it seemed so empty around me now. Quiet. As if something really bad was about to happen.
And then I heard foosteps. A whole lot of them.
Well, how unsurprisingly conveniently predictable.
F!Myrthe: WHOA! WAY BACK! I'M STILL ALIVE?
Me: Um...
F!Myrthe: Cause I thought that after that century of nothingness, I had died along with this story!
Me: yeah, for the lateness, sorry-
*The rest of the apology could not be written because the author was chased after by a fictional character steering an imaginary tank*
So! It took so long because I suck at making up philosophical stuff. But, in return: I already have a lot of stuff ready for the next chapter, hell, already a lot of pages written, so it won't take long! And it is going to be over-the-top-dramatic, as always. Because me can't write 8D
Have a nice day!
*~OPINION WHORE SECTION~*
Welcome to the Opinion Whore section! Here I ask YOUR opnion about something I'm too stupid to decide for myself. And the topic the the chapter is: Weapon. Should F!Myrthe get some sort of weapon?
See, I'm don't know about you guys, but I'm getting a bit tired of F!Myrthe (And Real!Myrthe, but let's skip the Freudian bullshit here XD) being so utterly helpless. I mean, she was designed to represent the caught-up civillian, and I wanted to use her complete lack of anything close to power as a primary factor for character definition. However, the situation is getting repetitive with her getting her ass handed over by literally everyone. Not to mention, since she can't fight, it means that pretty much all she can do is talk, which leads to the excessive amount of crappy dialogue.
On the other side: Randomly throwing in a weapon feels so... I dunno, Mary-Sueish. And not very F!Myrthe...ish. And it kind of kills her whole character of defenseless no-good. So, your opinions plz!