Minutes earlier he'd knocked and brought in some clothes for her, put them neatly on the little shelf by the sink. Now after he'd left, she was wiping at the mirror, so she could take a look at herself.

The more and more she thought about it, the angrier she got.

Who was he thinking he is? 'I found clothes for you' ... I never asked him for clothes or anything. He can't just walk out of my life the way he did, and then act like this. Like we just had a little misunderstanding. Hell no! If he thought washing some clothes for me and being all nice like this would get him some points, then he was out of his damn mind.

She glanced down and tied up the tie on her drawstring sweatpants he'd brought her. They were way too big, the fabric bulging up around her waist, the fabric hitting the floor, couldn't even see her feet underneath. She pulled the blue t-shirt over her head and reached back, pulling all her wet curls out from under the shirt. She took the towel and wrapped it around her head in an attempt to get her hair a little drier.

She sighed and sat back down on the rim of the bathtub/shower behind her. She didn't want to talk to him. She didn't want to see him. She wondered how much longer it would be before those clothes were done. She also wondered why she'd agreed to him giving her clothes in the first place.

What the hell is wrong with me? Am I really that desperate?

She stood back up and wiped at the mirror again, looking at herself.

Okay, so maybe I ain't 23 anymore but with a little makeup and a cute outfit I would still turn some heads, wouldn't I?

The only thing is she didn't want to turn any heads. She wanted her life back. The one she'd thought they had before he did all of this to them. So maybe she knew about 6 month into the marriage that it wasn't gonna be happily ever after for them. But he didn't know that and still he decided to just leave. That's what hurt the most.

She was also mad at Hurley. He'd said Sawyer wouldn't be anywhere near the houses. He'd be in the jungle all day. She even wondered if Hurley was in on this. Then she shook her head to herself. Hurley couldn't have known she'd sneak in Sawyers house to be alone.

That's all she had wanted. She wanted a moment to herself. A quick shower, and some alone time. Just me, myself and I. She didn't want to be around Hurley, or the group of new recruits. Didn't wanna hear Frank curse Sawyer's name or Ben looking at her with those bugeyes, ... no, she didn't want any of that. Just blissful solitude!

She wondered how long she could hide out in the bathroom before he'd come knocking again. She didn't want to go out there and sit with him in the living room as if nothing ever happened. She wouldn't know what to say ... afraid of what he had to say.

He had this way to get under her skin. She just knows it. Knows the moment she steps out of this room he's going to try to get under her skin. He's gonna try to be all sweet ... and let's face it, after being married he knows just how to do it too. Has mastered the skill of getting to her. Knows just what to say or look at her with those big blue eyes, smirking. Ohhhhh, she can just picture it.

She stared at herself in the mirror again.

What am I doing here? I wanted my husband back, but he obviously came here for a reason. He left me for a reason. So it's pointless really to think we'll get anywhere without talking to each other.

She sighed when she untangled the towel on her head and let her curls fall down over her shoulders and back.

She slowly opened the bathroom door, and walked out into the hallway. She could still hear the radio, but the volume was turned down, it was barely audible now. She stepped into the living room, when she saw him putting some dishes away in the kitchen.

Their eyes met just for a brief second, then she looked away, just standing there awkwardly in between his living room and kitchen.

"Thought you'd never come out of that bathroom, freckles."

She gave him a half smile, but not saying anything. He leaned against the wall, looking at her. Both of them unsure of how to act or what to say. Both of them with their arms folded in front of them. Both on the defensive, that was for sure.

"I put the clothes in the dryer, they should be done soon."

She just nodded, still standing there with her arms folding in front of her.

Finally she spoke up, "I'm sorry I came here, I shouldn't have come here. I was just looking for a place to be alone and Hurley'd said you'd be gone all day."

"Yeah, I was supposed to be in the jungle somewhere, but I made my deputy take over instead."

She nodded again, "Oh."

"You can sit down if you want." He said, suggesting towards the couch.

"No thanks, I'm fine." She just stood in one spot.

"Are you hungry? Or do you want something to drink?"

With an annoyed undertone she said again, "No, I'm fine."

Both of them silent for what seemed like eternity. She broke the silence by asking what she wanted to ask since she'd gotten here,

"Why'd you do it?"

"Well, I figured you could use some clothes. Heard the sub won't be back for another month or so."

"Don't play dumb Sawyer. I'm taking about us and this. Why'd you do it? Why did you leave me like this? For this?"

He unfolded his arms now, and stood up straight, shaking his head lightly, "I'm sorry, but I can't say."

Anger spread across her face, "What do you mean you can't say? Why can't you tell me? You owe me an explanation?"

"I know I do, but whatever I'll tell you won't be good enough for you."

"Try me." She blurted out.

"Fine. I came back here, because it was what I was supposed to do Kate. Because it was my destiny to be here on this island."

"You can't be serious. We both talked about how neither of us understood what happened to Locke and then Jack to make them think the exact same thing. So what is it Sawyer? What happened to you that would make you think that?"

He knew she wouldn't buy it, knew it was pointless to even try it. "Hell, I don't know freckles. It's not like I can explain it." He shook his head. "I just know this is what I had to do."

"For how long? For how long have you known this is what you had to do?"

"Does it really matter? What's done is done, Kate."

"I was your wife. We were supposed to be together forever. Have babies. Grow old together. So I don't care what you think is done or not. You owe me an answer, because it does matter to me. Even if it doesn't to you anymore." She wanted to cry but she didn't. Not here, not now, not in front of him.

He sighed, "A couple weeks before I disappeared." He looked down, couldn't look her in the eyes.

"Why the suicide letters? Why'd you write them?" She was on a roll now, wanted answers to the most nagging questions, wanted to understand as much as possible. Because so far none of it made sense.

He sighed again, "I thought about making it look like a suicide, but then I changed my mind."

"Why did you change your mind?"

"Look, it doesn't matter. I did what I did, so you wouldn't blame yourself, and so you wouldn't come after me. You weren't supposed to come back here. Ever!"

"Why didn't you just come to me? Why didn't you talk to me?"

He got annoyed now, "And say what? Hey freckles, by the way, I feel like I need to go back to that island and spend the rest of my life there. I got a feeling that wouldn't have sat to well with you, sweetheart."

"But why were you still trying to have a baby with me then? Explain that to me Sawyer. You were just gonna knock me up and take off, like it meant nothing?"

He was getting angry now, walked a few steps towards her, she backed up to keep the same distance between them, "Please! You weren't trying to have a baby with me and we both know it!" His voice sounded harsh and angry.

Her face expressed shock; she didn't know what to say to that. How did he know? How could he have known?

He continued, "Oh, what sweetheart? Now you're speechless all of a sudden? You aren't even gonna try to deny it?"

She stuttered, "H-H ... How did you know?"

"I found your damn birth control pills, that's how! You know the ones you hid in your dresser drawer?"

She didn't say anything anymore. Her eyes burning a hole in the floor in front of her. He wasn't supposed to know that. She didn't know how to explain that to him without hurting him, so she didn't try to explain it at all.

He was quiet now. He'd overstepped it. Had said more then he'd meant to say. He never meant to tell her that he knew about the pills. Damn it.

She broke the silence again, "So this is it then? You're staying on this island because this island is your destiny? That's what you're saying right?" She looked up now, her green eyes trying her best to meet his, but he looked away.

He couldn't look at her, cause he knew he was breaking her heart with what he had to say. And with every word his heart was breaking again too, right in front of her, "Yeah, that's it Kate. I'm staying here."

She swallowed, trying her best to fight back tears ... it worked, "So what about Clementine? Aaron and Claire? What do you want me to tell them? What do you want me to tell Cassidy?"

He still couldn't look at her, "Tell them whatever you want. Doesn't matter to me."

That was it! She was done.

He can go to hell for all I care!

She stormed passed him back into the bathroom. Slammed the door shut. He didn't say anything, cause he knew there was nothing he could say to make this better ... nothing he could do to make his go away. Moments later she stormed back out, with her old dirty clothes back on, and without saying another word or giving him another look stormed out of his house.

He stood there for a moment, then let his body slide down the wall, slump down on the hardwood floor.

She'll never know how much I love her, just that I couldn't stay.

He buried his hands in his face, he's not the kind of man that just breaks down and cry ... but he wished he could be. Maybe it would feel better if he just let them tears fall for once. He shook his head to himself, got back of the floor.

I did what I had to do to save her. Doesn't matter if she'll never know the truth, I saved her by coming back here. I know I did the right thing, even if she'll never know why or what I did to save her.

Kate stormed off, she didn't really know where she was going. On a whim, she went down towards the boathouse and storage shack. Maybe there she'd find a quiet spot. She just wanted to be alone, so tired of everyone acting weird, like they know something she doesn't or they know what she knows but understand why he feels that way.

She doesn't understand this island. She feels no connection to this place. There are good and bad memories here, so much was true. But she didn't feel what everyone else seems to feel ... this place is not for her. This place is not her destiny. She doesn't belong here. But everyone here seems so content.

Rose, Bernard, Hurley, and Ben! And now even Sawyer? I just don't understand what happened to all of them? Like this island has some kind of spell over them.

She sat down behind the boathouse, hiding out of sight. Slouching on the floor, leaning against the remodeled boathouse.

I just don't know if I can stand to be here. To be around him for 4 more weeks like this. I need to find out the code for the fence and get the hell away from here.

With that thought, she jumped up and stormed back towards the houses, straight towards Hurleys house.

She walked in and to her surprise he was alone.

"Where is everybody?"

"Oh, you missed them, they already left. Where were you all morning?"

"Well, I went to Sawyers house to take a shower and be alone, but then he showed up."

Hurley raised his eyebrows, "And how did that work out?"

"He told me that he's staying here." Her eyes met Hurleys on purpose, tears stinging at the corner of her eyes.

"I'm really sorry Kate."

She could see Hurleys sad look, the sympathy in his eyes, this was her cue to ask for what she needed from him. She had him right where she wanted him.

"Hurley, I need to get away for a little while. I just can't be here, with no place to be by myself, and seeing him everywhere I turn. I need the code to the fence, so I can leave."

"Leave to go where? There's nothing out there."

"I'm going back to the beach, to our old camp. I will be back before the sub shows up. I wouldn't miss that sub, I can't wait to leave this place and I can't wait to see Aaron and Claire again. I promise, I'll come back Hurley. Just please let me leave. Please."

Hurley sighed, "Alright, but pack food and stuff, cause there's nothing out there anymore. And be careful, we still have them bears running around out there, so ... take a gun too, just in case."

She nodded, and Hurley pulled her in a hug. "Be careful, and promise you'll be back, or Frank will kill me. And when you get back, just punch in any number in the fence, it will sound an alarm at the security office, and I'll know you're out there trying to get back in. I'll send someone to let you in. 'Cause the code for the fence changes daily, dude."

She nodded against his tight embrace, but didn't say a thing.

He had stalled as long as possible, but it was getting dark out now and this day was coming to an end. He finally had worked up the nerve to walk up to Hurleys house with the box of clothes and shoes for her in his arms. He put the box down by his feet and knocked. He never knocks at Hurleys, but now that she lives here he felt the need to announce himself.

To his surprise Frank opened the door, "Awesome, just the person I was hoping for." The sarcasm clinging to every word.

"May I come in?" Sawyer asked, even though it really didn't matter to him what Frank would answer, he's coming in regardless.

Frank didn't say anything, just pulled the door open all the way and stepped out of the way himself.

Sawyer carried the box in the house, surprised to see everyone here. Everyone except his Freckles.

"What's going on? Did I miss the coconut telegraph about the secret meeting tonight?" He put the box down in the hallway that leads back to the bedroom.

Rose spoke up, "We were just talking about you and Kate?"

Sawyer cast a look over to Frank.

Frank just nodded, "Yeah, I know the truth now. Why didn't you tell us?"

Sawyer sighed, both relieved that Frank now understood but at the same time worried why they'd discuss this so openly, when Kate could walk in any moment.

"Would you've believed me?"

"Hell, a couple years ago, probably not. But now, after hearing about your time travel, smoke monsters, and little boys that don't remember who their mom was ... I would have called you an idiot, but I'd have believe you."

"Where is she?" He finally asked.

"She left." Bernard spoke out.

Hurley pulled out a chair at the table for Sawyer to sit, before he spoke "She wanted to be alone for a while to think, so I let her go. She went into the jungle."

He didn't feel like sitting, instead just leaned against the wall "Alone? And you just let her leave? Are you out of your damn mind?"

Rose spoke up, "She'll be fine. She took food and water with her, and Bernard drew a map to our old house out in the jungle for her. Give her a couple days to think."

He finally grabbed the chair, turned it around and sat down. Draping his arms across the back of the chair, "Maybe you're right. But I still don't like the thought of her being out there all alone."

A few hours and bottles of whiskey later

Sawyer leaned back on the couch, looking around his group of friends and took another drink from his whiskey. "The night before I left, we were lying in bed and talking of old times. You know, families and home towns. She wondered if we'd both agree on where we'd settle down. And I told her that we'd cross that bridge whenever it arrived. That Thursday morning through the flames I could see her standin' on the other side of that bridge."

Rose said with an obvious slur to her voice, "That has to be the saddest thing I've ever heard Sweetheart."

Bernard chimed in, "Of course she's gonna be mad at you, what do you expect? What kind of wife would she be if she wouldn't let you suffer for a while?"

Rose glanced him a look.

Bernard continued when he noticed he had every ones attention, "I mean you left her, staged your own death. What is she supposed to do? Run into your arms and act like nothing ever happened. That's unrealistic, she has to make you suffer, has to put you through hell, cause you put her through hell yourself."

Rose spoke up again, "Isn't there any way you could convince her to stay here with you?"

Sawyer shook his head, "No way, she'd never leave Aaron ... not in a million years. Even that whole talk about where we'd settle down some day ... I already knew it would be close to Aaron. She'll never stop loving that kid." He smiled at the thought of Aaron, and the next thing that popped in his mind was Clementine. He missed her so much. With that thought, he pushed himself up and out of the sofa.

"I'm gonna head on home now, gotta go to work tomorrow. Can't play hooky every day, just because my wife hates me." And with that Sawyer left Hurleys house.

After the door shut behind him, Frank spoke up.

He wanted to clarify a few things, "So nobody can tell her why he did it, or it will be all for nothing?"

Ben nodded, and said, "Yes Frank, that's the rules."

Frank continued, "But what if she figures it out by herself, would that undo everything?"

Ben shook his head now, "No, that wouldn't change anything. If she could figure it out on her own, than she'd still be fine."

Rose spoke up, "There has to be something we can do to get them back together?"

Frank said, "For what? Jim's right, she will never stay here, and apparently Sawyer can't leave."

Ben chimed in, "Well, that's not entirely true."

All eyes focused on Ben now, and he sighed, "As of right now, the island isn't done with James, but that could change."

Bernard questioned, "And how would he know if it changed. How would he know if he can leave and never come back?"

"Hurley will know."

Everyone stared at Hurley now, "It's true, I can feel it somehow. Right now the island wants Sawyer here, needs him here to do his job in securing it. But I'll know when he's not needed anymore. I'll know when he's free to go."

"Does Jim know about that?" Frank wanted to know.

"No, he doesn't."

"Why not?" Rose asked.

"Because knowing Sawyer, he'd come over here and bug the crap out of me every day wanting to know if he could leave."

Somewhere else in the jungle

She'd made it to the little shack by the beach before it got dark out. She'd started a fire right when she'd got there. This was different she thought. She couldn't recall ever being all alone out in the jungle ... ever. Someone was always with her ... Locke, Sawyer or Jack. She smiled, all the men that were possessed by the island at some point.

She rubbed her arm, trying to get rid of the goose bumps forming on her arms. She wished she wouldn't have left the barracks after all. She wanted to be alone, but now alone felt more like lonely. She wished Sawyer would step out of the jungle, like he'd so many times before. But she knew that wouldn't happen. He'd never follow her again ... just like she was done following him.

We're done! Happily ever after just wasn't in our cards. She lied down on the sleeping bag that she'd brought. Staring up at the stars above. She didn't feel like sleeping in the little house, she was cold and decided to stay out by the fire instead. Staring up, surprised that the tree branches were allowing her to see the stars at all.

He sat down at the little bench in front of his house, he couldn't sleep knowing she's out there all alone. He looked up at the sky. Staring at the stars above ... it was such a clear night, not a raincloud in sight tonight. At least she'd stay dry out there all alone. He sat there for a little while longer until he could feel exhaustion take over and he knew it was time to head back inside. The whiskey finally doing it's part and letting him sleep.

The next evening

Sawyer rushed back to the barracks, walking straight up to Hurley's house. He walked right in without knocking.

"Where is she?"

"She's over at Rose's."

Sawyer was just about to walk back out and rush to her side, when Hurley grabbed him by the arm. "She's fine dude. The doc checked her out, and said she just hit her head a little hard when she fell, that's all."

"That's all? She came back to the barracks and passed out hitting her head, and you say that's all?"

"Dude, she was exhausted from trekking through the jungle, she's resting now. I really think you going over there will just upset her right now, just let her be dude."

Sawyer sighed, and shut the front door again. "Yeah, you're probably right. It just sucks, you know."

Hurley padded him on the back, "Yeah, I know, it totally sucks dude."

2 days later

Kate was in the supply room again, packing all sorts of food and things into her backpack for her little excursion with Ben today. Frank thought she was crazy for going anywhere with Ben. But she'd have agreed to anything, any job just to keep her mind of Sawyer for a couple hours of the day. Just to be far away from him, just to keep busy, because as much as she was trying to deny it. She still loved him.

Just because he walked away didn't mean her feelings for him would just change over night. She was hurt, embarrassed, angry ... the list could go on and on. But sadly, she was also still very much in love with him. Pointless really, but she was. She still loved him with all her heart. She still had this urge to touch him, every time she saw him. But she wasn't stupid enough to give into those urges, ... we're done.

He said he made his choice and he's sticking to it. And if god help me so will I! No going back now. Although the latest developments scared her to death. What if ...

Ben startled her out of her thoughts, "Are you ready to go Kate?"

She quickly hid all the Dharma items in her pack and closed it before Ben stepped closer to her. "Yeah, I just got a few things to eat. I'm ready. So where are we going?"

"You'll see here in a minute."

Ben took a few food things from the shelf and put them also in his pack, then grabbed a few cardboard boxes and handed some to Kate. She took them and followed him out. He threw the boxes onto the boat, Kate raised her eyebrows.

"We're taking the boat?"

"Of course Kate, how else would we get to Hydra Island?"

Oh no, she didn't sign up for this. "You didn't say anything about going to Hydra Island. You said we'd empty out some old dharma stations, that's all."

"Yes, that's all. We're starting to empty out the dharma stations over on Hydra Island."

She threw the boxes on the boat too, but then stood there for a moment with her arms folded as if she was pouting.

Ben untied the boat from the small dock that had been build there fairly recently, and he looked up at Kate, "Are you coming Kate?"

She sighed and took a look back towards the barracks. She knew he was somewhere around here ... hell, Hydra Island was probably the only place today where she wouldn't run across him.

"Yeah, I'm coming." And with that she climbed into the boat.

It was an electric boat, but then again she really didn't know anything about boats. To her it looked similar to the one Michael had left the island with, but it was bigger and a lot newer. She remembered that moment when they all watched Michael leave with Walt. She felt betrayed by him, but then again, at this point in her life there wasn't a whole lot she wouldn't do for Aaron. Michael had only wanted to save his child. She couldn't blame him anymore for than. How ironic she thought as she watched Ben stir the boat in front of her. Who would have ever thought she'd go back to Hydra Island with Ben ... and this time not against her will.

The both stayed quiet for a while, until Ben decided to break the silence.

"I know you don't feel it Kate, but this island is indeed special." He turned his head to meet her eyes when he spoke.

Kate got up and moved closer to him, "You're right, I don't feel it. All this island has ever done was kill people, how could I think in any way that that's something special to protect."

Ben shook his head, "See, that's how Jacob ran things, everything's different now. Hurley does things his own way, and he has no intentions of bringing anyone back to the island."

"He brought Sawyer back. And all those people, thinking they're part of the Dharma initiative." She folded her arms in front of her again.

"Now see, all of those people had a choice. They all were alone, most of them raised in foster care, and they were simply offered a job. It was up to them whether or not to take the job. Hurley unlike Jacob forced them into nothing." He paused a moment as if he was figuring out how to form his next sentence. "Now James on the other hand was different. He really had a calling ... I guess you could call it that. Something happened to him and he knew instantly what he had to do. He knew the only way to find peace was to come back to this place."

She shook her head, "I don't buy that. Sawyer isn't like that."

"Apparently he is."

"No, he's not. After everything we've been through together, he would have talked it over with me. The Sawyer that I love and married wouldn't have just walked out on me like that. I just don't believe that."

"Has it ever crossed your mind that he had no choice but to do things the way that he did?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, Jack had his calling when he decided he needed to stay behind. Not just to save the island, but to save you and Sawyer and everyone really ... I mean if you think about it. Maybe Sawyer had a similar calling, and he had to do things his way to save the ones that needed saving."

"Ben, for once could you just stop with the cryptic messages and tell me the truth? Do you know why Sawyer did what he did?" Her eyes were soft, pleading with Ben to tell her the truth.

Ben glanced at her and saw the hopeful look in her eyes, "I'm sorry Kate. Nobody can tell you why he's here. That would be against the rules. If he told you or if anyone told you why he did what he did, then all of it would have been for nothing."

She sighed knowing she wasn't gonna get the answer she was hoping for.

Ben continued, "However, nobody's stopping you from finding the answers yourself."

She didn't say anything else, 'cause she knew it was pointless. Nobody's allowed to tell her? Just terrific! How the hell is she supposed to find out why if nobody can tell her why?

Caught in her own thoughts, she didn't even realize they'd reached the newly build dock on Hydra island. She got startled when Ben turned the engine off.

She put her back pack back on and grabbed the folded up cardboard boxes. Ben supported her by her elbow as she climbed out of the boat onto the dock. Just then she noticed the other boat tied to the other side of the dock.

She turned back around to Ben and asked, "Who else is here?"

But before Ben could even answer, she heard someone yell behind her, "Freckles?"

She turned around to look at him. This cannot be true. What the hell is he doing here?

Apparently he was thinking the same thing,

"What the hell are you doing here?" he said as he walked towards her.

When she didn't answer him, he continued with his questions, "Shouldn't you be taking it easy? Heard you passed out and hit your head."

He stopped right in front of her, and reached for her head to inspect her head wound.

She pulled away. It was clearly she didn't want him to touch her.

"I'm fine, don't touch it."

He frowned, then took the boxes out of her hands, and she let him.

Ben finally interrupted the awkward reunion, "Well, guess I forgot to mention James and Drake would be helping out today too."

Kate casted him an evil glance, "Yeah, right Ben. I guess you forgot."

The three of them walked down the dock towards the jungle. Sawyer walked ahead of her with the boxes in his hands. Ben walked side by side with her, obviously amused. She looked back at the other island behind her for a moment.

So much for taking my mind of him today!

End Note: Reviews are always appreciated! Thank you for reading!