Disclaimer: Bioware owns all, except what I most humbly create. While, at times, I will take verbatim from the game, I mostly use the events of the Dragon Age games, expansions and universe as a loose structure around which to construct my re-imagined tale. If you are looking for a strict canon piece, I have no desire to offend, and so I warn you upfront!
When reading this tale, I hope you can easily imagine it being told by the very best of storytellers in Varric (from DA:2). In my version of events, Varric meets "The Hero" (my Elissa Cousland) in Kirkwall during the time period of DA:2. I mention this only so that readers can understand his connection along the way, and so I don't have to mention and rehash it again and again as I make my way through the tale.
A/N: Some mild bits of NSFW material scattered toward the end but nothing blatant or vulgar! Just wanted to put the warning out there just in case!
Muse Music: Be Kind To My Mistakes by Kate Bush
Thanks to all the readers, followers and reviewers! I'm working really hard to keep the pace I've set for myself and make the chapters meet the high standards I seem to somehow have set for myself.
Another big thank you to my Lady Beta, artemiskat who's had to work extra hard lately to get me through my anxiety!
Happy Reading!
-Frayed One
Chapter Eight: Severed
Elissa didn't sleep at all. She never woke the others, choosing to stay up and keep watch straight through the night with Swiftrunner instead. As a result, she was nearly unapproachable by the time the others had woken and begun to pack up camp.
"You were attacked by what?" Anders gasped, forcing Sigrun to go through the story again as she dragged him along to point out some of the nearby corpses and prove her point.
"They've got faces! Did you see they had faces?" Anders asked, drifting over to Elissa and hoping to pry her forcefully out of the mood she seemed resolved to languish in throughout the day.
"I saw their faces last night while you were sleeping, Anders." Elissa snipped, rolling her eyes at him. "I don't need you to point them out again, thanks."
"Well, what's got your lacy underthings in a twist this morning?" Anders quipped, smirking at her and watching the look that passed between her and the equally pissy archer on the other side of the camp.
"Nothing… I just… it's nothing…" Elissa said, continuing to shove things into her pack.
Anders leaned against the nearby wall, wondering what it was going to take to get them to just let things go and leave the past silent, and where it should be - in the past. The powder keg between them was dangerously close to exploding, and when it did - everyone around them would be taken out by the sonic boom that followed. He didn't know about the others, but he sure as hell didn't want to be caught in the fall out he was certain lay just around the next corner.
As soon as Anders' back hit the stone face behind him, something clicked and Elissa's eyes went wide as a loud grinding sound became more and more audible in the air around them.
"Anders! What did you touch?" Elissa hissed, tugging him forward and watching as everyone drew weapons and waited for whatever trap he'd inadvertently set into motion.
"Nothing! I just leaned on the wall!" Anders insisted, watching as she dashed over with Nathaniel to inspect the giant stone mask for a way to shut it off. "Oh sure! You're perfectly willing to work together to clean up after the mage! Glad that I can help to bridge the divide!"
"Shut up, Anders!" they hissed together, glaring at him until he walked away.
"Can you find a mechanism to shut it off?" Nathaniel asked, continuing to pry at the edge. "I can't get my fingers far enough underneath to check."
"I'm inside… I can feel something, there… almost got it…" Elissa muttered, chewing at her lip as she stretched her fingers out to reach for what she thought to be the trigger. She hissed and snatched them back a moment later when something pinched her as the mechanism settled into place regardless of her efforts.
Nathaniel tugged her fingers into his hand to inspect them, ignoring her attempts to flinch away.
"I'm fine…" Elissa insisted, repeatedly trying to snatch her hand back.
"Just let me look." Nathaniel hissed, inspecting the tips to make sure there was no damage, and finally releasing her when the wall in front of them started to drag itself open.
"Well, that's new…" Elissa said, tugging her hand free and ducking under the continually rising wall – forcing Nathaniel to dart in behind her.
"This is a little too convenient, Elissa." Nathaniel said, eying the walls warily as the others started to filter in behind them.
"I don't see what's convenient about it." Elissa snipped, eyes narrowed on him. "We'd never have found it if Anders hadn't pressed the trigger with his bum."
"That's me. Mage of the Magical Bum." Anders smiled, winking at her as he moved inside the passage.
"We don't know this isn't a trap." Nathaniel insisted, glaring at the mage as Elissa leaned forward to inspect the dark hole at the end of the newly opened chamber. "I'm simply saying we should proceed with caution."
"So what you're saying is I shouldn't jump blindly down this access shaft when I have no idea what's lurking at the bottom?" Elissa smirked, taking the rope Swiftrunner offered her and wrapping it securely in place before stepping up onto the edge.
"Elissa… don't be foolish." Nathaniel warned, starting to step forward to stop her.
"See you at the bottom!" Elissa smiled, tossing him a wink and disappearing over the edge with a scream.
The drop wasn't all that far, something Nathaniel realized himself when he finally took his turn dropping to the bottom. Elissa met his eyes through the remainder of the company, smirking before turning them to the door at the end of the dusty hall.
"Come here." Elissa called, waving her fellow Wardens over as she felt the waves of taint humming through the door. If they were able to feel the call already, they'd know it now.
"Oh, Maker!" Anders gagged, staggering over to the corner and vomiting on the floor when the waves hit him.
"Okay – so that's a yes for Anders. Oghren?" Elissa asked, watching the dwarf shrug and wander away, disinterested when he had no reaction. "And a no for, Oghren. What about you? Can you feel them?"
She turned her eyes to Nathaniel and watched him struggle for a minute, feeling it hit against his chest in the exact way Elissa had described. He gagged, but forced it down – refusing to be dominated by it like Anders.
"It's… ugh, you were right about the nausea." Nathaniel said, fighting another wave down and glaring at her when she barely stifled a chuckle.
"It goes away!" Elissa huffed, crossing her arms and leaning against the wall beside the door. "Is there anything else or do you need to go join Anders in the corner?"
"Not helping!" Anders called, retching again a moment later.
"Ugh… no…" Nathaniel cringed, turning back to her – taking in a deep breath and trying to focus. "Um… I can tell there's something there but it's… scattered… I can't… I can't make anything specific out."
"Okay, I want you to try something." Elissa said, motioning him over and positioning him so that he stood with his hands out against the door, then leaning back against the wall beside him. "Now close your eyes."
"Is this your patented wall groping technique?" Nathaniel asked, raising an eyebrow at her and accepting the glare she gave him in return.
"You laugh, but it works!" Elissa said, shaking her finger at him and waiting for him to do as she asked.
"I got nothing." Nathaniel replied, feeling silly standing there holding onto a wall with his eyes closed while everyone watched.
"You aren't even trying." Elissa huffed, ducking under his arms to stand in front of him and pressing her hand over his eyes. "Reach out through the chaos and try to focus on what's inside that room. You should be able to feel it here…" She reached out and pressed the palm of her hand against his sternum.
"It's hard…" Nathaniel answered, feeling his voice shake as his heart rate picked up. The warmth of her palm filtered out through the leather of his breast plate like it wasn't even there and the lilac oil she wore was so heavy he could barely breathe with her so close.
"Just focus, I know you can do this. Think of it like… like archery. Imagine that you're looking for a shot, the perfect shot. Only you have to take it through a line of trees. You can make it, you just have to see the target." Elissa explained, and he couldn't help but smile at how well she still knew him to pick out such a perfect analogy.
"Okay." Nathaniel took in a deep breath, searching through the shadows in his mind and reaching out to pick the specific targets inside the room out. "I think there are five, maybe six of them inside. One of them is… different."
"One is an Alpha. He's stronger; he'll be the one in charge. Can you read anything else?" Elissa asked, and he could hear the pride in her words as she spoke to him.
"There's something… it's hard to explain. No… it can't be…" Nathaniel said, pulling her hand down and catching the smile when he met her eyes. "Peppermint?"
"He's a caster! Don't ask me to explain it… I can't but I always taste peppermint!" Elissa laughed then, feeling the rumble of it answer within Nathaniel's chest where her hand still lay.
He reached up to cover her hand with his own, realizing the position they were in now was dangerously close to the one he'd had her in back in Amaranthine when he'd demanded she kiss him. It was a fight to release her and watch her gather the others rather than taking what he'd asked for days before in front of them all.
"Okay people! You know the drill!" Elissa said, pulling out her swords and shaking off the desire pulsing through her veins – willing it to be replaced by the adrenaline of the fight ahead. "Caster inside and a collection of drones. Let's go check Nathaniel's math!"
Nathaniel had been exactly right in number and description, and he tossed a wink at Elissa when he saw her verify it and watched her roll her eyes in response. Once they'd taken down the group above, they were forced to focus on the group below – Elissa stopping them on the stairs when she saw the pressure plate traps lining the floor ahead of them.
"Can you see them?" Elissa asked Nathaniel, dodging a sword swipe and stepping lightly out onto the floor.
"Yes, they're everywhere." Nathaniel answered, sending three arrows out into the room in rapid succession.
"Can you cover me while I work?" Elissa asked, kneeling down to take out the one directly at their feet.
"I've got you." Nathaniel nodded, keeping anything at a distance with his arrows and moving with her as she worked rapidly at their feet.
Once the group had taken out the remaining darkspawn, Nathaniel shouldered his bow and dropped to the floor to help her disarm the traps that remained.
"You're better at that than Zevran." Elissa chuckled, listening to her current target click as she disabled the mechanism with her nimble fingers.
"At what? Disarming traps?" Nathaniel asked, answering with a click of his own and moving to the next.
"No, at crouching." Elissa snorted, rolling her eyes as she finished her next one. "Of course at disarming traps you ninny!"
"My time abroad wasn't spent chasing skirts and drinking wine." Nathaniel replied, listening to his mechanism click dormant and moving to the last trap in the room just ahead of her. "I am not without my own skills, you've simply never asked about them."
"Well, consider this me asking." Elissa replied, walking over to where he crouched and listening to him finish off the last trap coming to stand in front of her.
"I know traps, poisons and tracking. You already know I'm more than a fair hunter and archer." Nathaniel replied, crossing his arms over his chest and trying to read her face. "I'm passable with daggers and swords, but nowhere near as good as you are. I can also cook fairly well, mend armor and give you stitches if so desire."
"Impressive." Elissa smirked, nodding her head and trailing past him up the stairs to find the rest of their group.
The further down they descended into the caverns, the more corruption seeped into the walls and the floors coating everything around them.
"Ugh. This reminds me of the time a Bronto fell off Orzammar's highest tier…" Sigrun muttered, trying to scrape a pile of the stuff off her boot. "Bronto guts everywhere."
Anders dashed over to the side, vomiting against the wall again.
"Let's leave the comparisons to the imagination for awhile…" Elissa encouraged, walking over to rub his back and try to soothe him a little. It seemed like the further down they went, the sicker and more unfocused he became.
"I've thought about what you said, Anders. About the comparison between my family and mages." Nathaniel started, watching Elissa turn her eyes to his as she shuffled the mage off down the next set of stairs. "It's idiotic. I am not about to transform into an abomination simply for being a Howe."
"I didn't say it was a perfect analogy..." Anders responded, burping when another wave of nausea hit his stomach.
"Being a Howe does not allow me to control your mind." Nathaniel retorted, giving Elissa a half smirk that let her know he was simply trying to distract the man from his discomfort long enough to get them through the rest of their trip.
"Kind of missing my point, aren't you?" Anders asked, turning around and noting that Elissa squeezed the archer's arm affectionately before she moved ahead.
"I am not a fan of over-simplifications." Nathaniel answered, giving Anders his best and he hoped most convincing frown.
"Fine, fine. Your loss." Anders replied, his nausea quickly becoming overtaken by his annoyance.
As they made their way down the steps, ghostly images popped to life around them – sending everyone reaching for their weapons until they realized them to be harmless.
"I… I've never seen anything like this before." Sigrun said, waving her hand through one of the bodies and watching the image waver in front of her – the long dead dwarf fighting with several advancing darkspawn. "They say the memories of the Stone are forever. Is this what they mean?"
"It might be." Elissa responded, watching the long ended battle waging around them as they moved into the open hall ahead. There, a group of ghostly dwarves filtered into view, one standing on a platform to address the rest on the floor below.
Elissa stood with Sigrun just behind them, sensing the rest of their party wrap in behind to watch the memory play out in front of them.
For generations they have told you that you were nothing! Swept you away like so much dust! The dwarf said, raising his hands out to the crowd before him. Now, you are the only thing standing between them and the darkspawn that threaten our empire!
"What is this? Some sort of rally?" Anders asked, edging up beside her.
Show them that you are not nothing! Show them that you can be warriors! The dwarf cried out, pacing from one end of the platform to the other. Let the Stone tremble with the thunder of your footsteps! Fight!
It ended after that, fading away into silence before resetting and starting again.
"Can you tell where we are, Sigrun?" Elissa asked, meeting the woman's eyes long enough to see the subtle shake of her head then turning to Oghren. "You?"
"If I had to guess, I'd say it's Dust Town." Oghren replied, inspecting the decrepit condition of the small houses that lined the walls.
"Then I'd imagine what we are witnessing is the final stand of Kal'Hirol." Elissa said, watching the impact hit the group. "And, it appears, the defense was mounted by the casteless."
She squeezed Sigrun's shoulder and walked away, allowing them all a moment to absorb the history they were being given a glimpse of. Another memory started to play as Elissa stepped through a nearby doorway and into what had once been someone's home.
They're gone! Everyone's gone! They've abandoned the thaig! a dwarven man yelled, rushing into the room from beyond Elissa's shoulder, the ghost of his presence sending a chill through her body when it passed through her arm. We have to follow them! I'm not going to sit here and be eaten by those monsters!
But this is our home! We can't survive out there! a dwarven woman insisted, popping into view when the man came to a stop inside the room ahead of her. Elissa got the feeling that she should walk away, that this was an intimate moment she should not be witnessing… but she just couldn't find the strength to do it.
We won't survive in here! the man insisted, reaching out to hold the woman's face – establishing to Elissa that they were man and wife.
"It's like the memory has etched itself into the stone, and keeps playing itself back – like an echo." Nathaniel said, watching her wipe at the tears in her eyes when she realized he'd been there the entire time.
"They died here, together…" Elissa said, watching his eyes follow hers down to the floor where the skeletal remains of the couple lay curled together – merged into one form by the ravages of time. "This was their home."
"They died fighting, Elissa. They died together." Nathaniel said, moving closer to her to try and offer what comfort he could. "There are worse things than drawing your last breath in the arms of the person you love."
"Is this what Fergus sees when he goes to the larder?" Elissa asked, voice breaking when she looked up to him – the tears falling again. "Does he see Mother and Father there, huddled together in the floor, begging for their lives and saying their last goodbyes?"
"Oh, Elissa… I'm sorry… I'm so, so sorry." Nathaniel said, reaching out for her then and folding her in his arms – letting her sob against his armor – fingers twisting for purchase against the his back as she let go.
He didn't know what else to do but hold on, shaking with her as her body was wracked by sob after sob wrenched free with the force of her emotion.
"How can it be possible for anything to hurt this bad?" she cried out, not sure whether to tug him closer or push him away. "I can barely stand being near you. It's like pouring salt into a wound and knowing that it will never heal."
"It's healing, Elissa. It will only be a memory in time." he assured her, pressing his lips against her hair and stroking his fingers down her arms.
"How can you say that?" Elissa snorted, pulling away then – wiping angrily at her face and forcing everything back down where it'd come from. "Every time I look at you I just want to run the other way."
"I don't think that's the problem." Nathaniel insisted, knowing he was treading on dangerous ground again but unable to stop himself from proceeding. "I think the problem is every time you look at me you know you're exactly where you want to be, and that terrifies you because it doesn't synch with this perfect little world you've built for yourself."
"I hate that you can stand there and be so smug. So certain that you know exactly what I'm thinking, exactly how I feel." she hissed, glaring at him as she made her way back to the door. "Well you're wrong this time, Nathaniel Howe. I won't be the sad little girl that trails along after you waiting for you to walk away and break my heart again. Not this time."
She disappeared out the door after that, leaving Nathaniel alone to watch the looping spectral visions of the dead.
They pressed on quickly, Elissa motivated by her animosity toward Nathaniel. He shrugged it off, along with the hateful glares he received from pretty much everyone but Sigrun who attempted to flirt him out of his newest depression.
It didn't work, and Nathaniel found himself barely able to focus on anything other than the smell of her lilac oil drifting back through the sea of their companions. He could smell it even over the disgusting odor of the increasingly thick layers of corruption coating the walls and the floor.
They fought through a small group of darkspawn that included one of the new breed of talkers, as Anders had taken to calling them. It referred to itself as a Disciple and gave the others instructions to retrieve the Warden and the other female unharmed. That seemed to throw Elissa even further down the spiral, leaving her unsettled and angry and charging ahead into the next room before the others could catch her.
Once inside, six corrupted spiders dropped down around her, flopping to the disgusting floor and moving in on their prey. Before she could unsheathe her weapons, one of them had pinned her to the ground – and she found herself frantically holding back its gaping maw and venomous fangs from finding purchase in her face, neck or shoulders.
Nathaniel filled as many of the other spiders with arrows as he could, completely panicked with the idea that he would be unable to reach Elissa in time. The writhing thing that pinned her to the ground was far too similar to the nightmares he used to have over the years they were apart. The ones where he'd watch some dark creature rip out her throat while he could do nothing but look on in horror.
Eventually he left the other spiders for the rest of the group, focusing his attention on the one that had Elissa pinned to the floor. He launched two or three arrows into its abdomen, but that did nothing except send the green-black fluids of its insides running out onto her body. He could get a clear shot at nothing else from where he was so he eventually gave up the bow completely and darted over to where she lay, sliding to the ground beside her with a dagger in hand.
"What are you doing?" Elissa muttered, glancing at him out of the corner of her eye as she slung her head to the side and dodged the latest fang swipe.
"I can't get a clear shot with an arrow and I wasn't going to leave you to die. I didn't have a choice. I'm going to try to pry it off you on three – I need you to shift and grab your swords once I have the weight of it." Nathaniel said, rolling aside for a moment when one of its legs took a swipe at him. "One, two, three…"
He slid in after that, sliding his dagger under its fangs and digging his fingers into the soft flesh of its thorax as he pried it back just far enough for Elissa to scoot from underneath.
In the brief seconds it took for her to free her swords, Nathaniel lost his grip on the creature thanks to the steady oozing where his own arrows had penetrated the beast from across the room. It only took the blink of an eye for it to turn on him and sink its fangs hard into his shoulder, wrenching a scream from deep within him as he felt the venom pump into his veins.
He had a vague memory of Elissa slicing the thing apart after that, then tossing it aside with Swiftrunner's help and working quickly to remove the upper portion of his chest plate so she could get at the wound in his shoulder and upper arm.
"Nathaniel, stay with me." Elissa insisted, reaching up and gripping his face in her hand – forcing his eyes to focus on her own.
"I can make an anti-venom." Swiftrunner insisted, cutting loose one of the spider's fangs and dripping out the viscous poison into an empty vial.
"Start it now, but hurry. It's a paralytic. If we don't clear the wound it will kill him before you're done." Elissa explained, sliding her dagger loose from the sheath on her thigh and slicing his shirt away so she could get a clear look at the wound – she pressed on the fang marks, watching the blood and venom bubble up from inside. "Nathaniel, look at me." She said, leaning into his face again and holding his eyes. "This is going to hurt, I'm not going to lie – but I've got to do it. I need you to brace yourself. Can you do that for me?"
He nodded, watching Elissa motion for Oghren's flask – pouring the alcohol over the blade and his shoulder before taking a drink of her own.
"Hold him down." Elissa said, setting Sigrun on one arm, Oghren on the other, and Anders at his feet.
She took a deep breath, offering a silent prayer to the Maker and watching him nod before cutting into his shoulder with her blade to reveal the wound track fully. He screamed out, the sound tearing at her as he flailed against the bodies holding him down. She forced herself to finish the cut, slinging her blade to the side when she was done and leaning down to press her mouth against the bloody open wound so that she could suck out as much of the venom as possible.
She spat one mouthful after another of the bitter bloody mess onto the floor, feeling the frantic pace of his breathing where his chest would press against her own every time she leaned in for another pull. Finally satisfied it was clean, she poured more of Oghren's flask into the gash – watching the blood run clean and red from within the wound.
"Dastan?" Elissa called, holding her hand open for the vial he tossed in her direction – inspecting it with a cautious eye before leaning down to tip the contents into Nathaniel's mouth. He shook his head violently, trying to spit it back out but she held his mouth closed firmly. "Swallow it. I know it burns but you have to swallow it. Now is not the time to be stubborn with me, Nathaniel!"
He choked it down finally, gagging and coughing as the liquid burned his throat and curling to the side when the group finally released him. Anders moved forward, healing the cut in his shoulder to the point where had it not been for his torn shirt and the remnants of blood still darkening the edges of Elissa's lips – they could almost have forgotten it existed.
She shared a nod with the mage then, knowing that Nathaniel would be okay. Only then could she allow herself to breathe, pulling up to her feet and walking to the nearby doorway to wait for the others to collect themselves.
"Thank you." Nathaniel said, coming to a stop behind her after the others had already passed to the floor below.
"You saved my life, I saved yours. Let's call it an even exchange." Elissa replied, smiling sadly at him as she made her way to the others.
"If this city is laid out the same as the other thaigs, the trade quarter should be just beyond those doors." Sigrun said, trying to cut through some of the tension by refocusing them on the intended task.
"Everything I can sense is in that direction." Elissa replied, reaching out to press around through the darkness just to be sure. "I can't find anything else, so whatever else we've got to deal with – it's going to be down there."
By the time they reached the bottom of the long stairs that lead to the trade quarter floor, there was nothing but corruption as far as the eye could see. The floors and walls were thick with it – and Elissa could see Anders beginning to struggle against the nausea again – casting some sort of spell to ward it off every now and then.
All the groups of darkspawn they encountered seemed to be fighting against each other, completely not concerned with them – which left them free to kill them easily, pressing on through the halls with little resistance.
They made their way by a disused forge and an old prison, finally trailing over a bridge next to what appeared to be a giant lyrium bomb dangling above a deep pit into the earth.
"That much lyrium could destroy a whole army." Nathaniel noted, inspecting the thing cautiously as they passed.
"That much lyrium could drive me mad." Anders insisted, ushering them quickly over the bridge. "Can we move this along here? My teeth are starting to vibrate."
As they rounded the corner into the next room, Elissa ground to a halt – holding her arm out to stop anyone from passing her and motioning them into silence. Inside, a larger version of the grub like creatures that had attacked them in camp devoured the fallen body of a Hurlock.
Anders vomited again against one of the side walls at the sight of its disturbingly human face gnawing at the flesh of the creature's neck, its spindly little legs flailing about and making clicking noises where they struck the floor.
"The ones that attacked at camp must have been babies." Elissa noted, whispering and trying not to get the attention of the one in the room until they were ready to deal with it.
"I hope that's as big as they get." Nathaniel added, grimacing at the thought of an even larger worm.
They rushed in after that, swarmed by several others when they lay into the first. They were horrific, but not difficult to kill in small numbers. What concerned Elissa was the disturbing increase in the number of unhatched cocoons around them.
"I think we're in a nursery." Elissa said, looking with disgust at the pods as they twitched – revealing signs of the life inside them.
"We need to get out of here. Now!" Nathaniel insisted, pushing Elissa along and ignoring the annoyed look on her face until he could get her around the corner and into the next room. "They're hatching."
Elissa looked around, eyes gone wide in terror as she realized he was right. On the walls and floor, on the ceiling, everywhere she looked pods were opening and the Children were struggling to pull themselves from within.
"Oh, Maker." Anders said, collapsing in behind Elissa and Nathaniel as they shuffled the others off behind them – sidling slowly down the stairs to the lower end door in the hopes they could get beyond it before they were detected.
They very nearly made it, caught only by the sound of Anders retching again just outside the doors.
"Go! Go! Go!" Elissa said, shoving one after another of them inside while Nathaniel rattled off arrow after arrow into the screeching sea of worm bodies advancing in their direction. "Fireball, Anders! Now!" She yelled, dipping to the side as he tossed one into the milling crowd then slamming the door behind them, leaning against it with the mage and listening to the screaming wails of the Children as they burned and flailed against the other side.
After Anders had recovered from their encounter, Elissa moved them off along a long bridge surrounded by lyrium veins and streams of running water. The whole area seemed to glow blue, leaving them all with a distinctly unsettled sensation.
"Is anyone else afraid of what we might find at the end of this corridor?" Anders asked, looking behind them again as though the burning sea of Children might come at them in any moment.
"Of course. Still gonna go look though." Sigrun replied, shrugging her shoulders as she bounded ahead.
"I'd hate her if she wasn't so damn cute." Anders grumbled, listening to Elissa laugh low beside him.
Sigrun stopped just outside the entrance to the large chamber at the end of the hall. Elissa could hear the talking inside as she approached, easing over to the wall behind the dwarf and leaning forward to catch a glimpse of what was inside it.
The large round room was lined with spouts that allowed water to pour in from somewhere high above, rushing into grates that emptied even further beneath them. In the center stood the largest golem Elissa had ever seen, glowing red like embers and clutching one of the talkers in its great metal hand.
On the floor across from it stood another talker, twiddling a control rod in its hand and menacing the first as it dangled from the grasp of the giant dwarven contraption.
"The Architect sends many, but he does not come himself. He is a coward!" the talker on the floor said, his arrogant strides turning his body so that Elissa could make out the staff on his back. "I will kill you, and then he will know he has failed to destroy The Lost. He will know that The Mother will tear him apart!"
The whole of her party grimaced as the golem ripped the dangling talker in half, slinging each portion of its dismembered body against opposite walls of the room. Elissa leaned back in once it was over, trying to read further beyond the room – to discern whether any others lurked in the hallway beyond before they engaged what stood in the room before them. She realized too late that her movement and pull the altered taint in her blood had drawn the attention of the remaining talker.
"Who goes there?" the creature hissed, striding forward to glare down the hall where Elissa pressed herself back against the wall – pissed that she'd made such an elementary error. "You should be coming out now. I am sensing you, but you are no darkspawn. What trickery is he planning now?"
"Bollocks." Elissa hissed, pushing out and drawing her blades as she walked into the hall with her companions behind her.
"You will be dying now odd ones, as all who serve the Architect will die!" the talker insisted, waving the rod up and activating the golem once again "The Mother demands it."
"Go for the golem!" Elissa instructed, taking Swiftrunner along with her to take on the talker – hoping between the two of them they could keep it stunned and unable to cast.
Elissa had gone through golem disposal with the group earlier in the ruins, and so she was not surprised when they shifted easily into an attack plan of electric shocks, elemental grenades, and well placed blows meant to disable joints and the mechanical inner workings of the beast.
Once the pair of rogues had finished off the talker, they waded into the battle with the golem, anxious to get it down before it landed a blow on anyone other than the stunned Sigrun who sat with Anders recovering against a nearby wall.
"Oghren, down!" Elissa yelled, getting a running go and planting a foot on the plate of his back to launch herself up onto the golem's shoulders where she shoved a sword into the gap between plates and pried loose the head with a great grunting pull.
It shot off to the floor and rolled away with a clank, sending the body lumbering forward with greater momentum than she had expected. She couldn't get her sword loose and get her balance in time, instead sailing forward through the water fall and coming out doused on the other side – but not smacking a stone wall as she'd expected.
When she opened her eyes, wiping the streaming water off and trying to ignore the rest that was pouring down the back of her armor – she found herself looking up at an equally drenched Nathaniel.
"Sorry, I-I…" Elissa stuttered, trying to find her footing and pull herself away from him but slipping against the grates in the pool beneath her feet which only pushed her further into his arms.
"Lost your balance? Yes… I saw." Nathaniel replied, holding her steady and waiting for her to settle enough to simply stand instead of floundering around. The insistent bump of her hips against him was doing things he'd rather not have to address at the moment.
When it became obvious she wasn't going to do it alone, he wrapped his arms around her and spun them both to the side, sitting her down on solid ground and placing her directly at eye level with him as she was now out of the grate. He let her go then, waiting for her to move away but she lingered – hidden away with him behind the spray of the water – watching the droplets fall off his dark hair and run down over his lips.
He saw her fingers twitch reflexively, reaching out to trace along the edge of his mouth. He was certain she was going to kiss him, he could see it there in her eyes as she leaned in – brushing her nose against his and pulling at his bottom lip with the tips of her fingers.
"Okay kids, time to get out of the pool. The Broodmothers are waiting!" Anders called, out – anxious to get them on their way and out of this nightmare.
Nathaniel watched Elissa snap back to herself, suddenly realizing what she'd almost done and dashing off to retrieve her sword. He took a deep breath, shoving his testosterone levels back to a manageable place and joining them a few moments later.
The curved hallway to the final chamber was a treacherous ordeal, tentacles springing out of the floor randomly – knocking them off their feet and occasionally tossing someone against the floor or a wall before they could be cut down.
"Definitely Broodmothers." Elissa said, kicking at one of them after Oghren had severed it and making a disgusted face when it twitched once more.
When they reached the central chamber, they could still see no signs of the actual Broodmothers themselves, though their tentacles were popping up everywhere.
"Here!" Sigrun called, peering over the edge of a pit at the center of the room and drawing everyone to her side.
Far down at the base sat four of the disgusting beasts, squelching about in the muck below and churning out a legion of darkspawn.
"Nothing you have said could ever have prepared me for that!" Anders said, gagging again but mastering the urge to throw up as he had nothing left to expel from his body.
"How're we supposed to get to them down there?" Oghren muttered, cursing and swatting another batch of tentacles down with his axe.
"It's too far to repel." Swiftrunner insisted, sharing a look with Elissa as he knew the thought would occur to her. "The tentacles would knock us loose long before we made it to the bottom."
"Look up." Nathaniel said, watching everyone turn their attention skyward. "Is that the lyrium bomb?"
"Brilliant!" Elissa responded, her smile shining out at him as she looked back down to meet his eyes. "Could destroy a whole army indeed!" She wrinkled her nose at him appreciatively, patting his arm and moving out to try and figure how to get it down. "Do you have a chain over there?" she called a few moments later, gesturing to the one in front of her and watching Nathaniel find another that matched it nearby where he stood.
"Yes, there's one here." Nathaniel answered, answering her grin with one of his own when he followed the path of her devious mind.
"Okay, gather up!" Elissa called out, bringing everyone to her. "Nathaniel, shoulder your bow for now. You're the strongest physically aside from Oghren, and your arrows are pretty useless against the tentacles. You're going to take my sword and go over to the other chain. Dastan and I will keep them off you while you hack through it – and Anders and Sigrun will do the same for Oghren while he takes this one down."
She pressed the hilt of her father's blade into his hand, not even noticing that was the one she had chosen though Nathaniel certainly did. This was the same hilt she'd held when she took his father's life – and now she was handing it over to him and trusting that he would follow her orders rather than his.
He had no urge to follow through on his father's wishes as he trailed behind her over to the other chain – hacking at the tentacles that sprung up along the way. He knew he'd probably think about it again when she peaked his temper, but in that moment he was completely at peace with the idea that he was well on the way to simply forgetting that the man had ever been a part of his world.
When the chains broke, Elissa called out the retreat – sending everyone sprinting for the door that would lead them to the surface as they felt the wave of the explosion shaking the ground beneath and working its way up out of the pit to where they stood outside the door. It shook the whole area for a moment – knocking them all off kilter against the sloping hill of the chasm base where they'd emerged on the other side.
"Are they dead? Tell me they're dead. I never want to go back in there." Anders panted, leaning against the wall and sucking in deep breaths of the open sunlit air.
"I can't sense anything anymore. Not even a hum. I think it's safe to assume we've emptied the hive." Elissa answered, patting his shoulder and setting them in motion to climb back out of the pit.
"We did it!" Sigrun cheered, skipping ahead for a moment then turning back to her new companions with a reverent smile. "If the rest of the Legion were alive, I know they would honor you all in some way."
"Bah! I'll just tell Kardol he owes me another tattoo when next I visit Orzammar." Elissa chuckled, sharing a smile with the peppy little woman. "Where will you go now, Sigrun?"
"Oh, I'll probably disappear into the bowels of the Deep Roads never to be seen again." Sigrun quipped, sighing and kicking a rock against the far wall. "The one good thing about the Deep Roads is you never run out of darkspawn."
"Perhaps you should consider coming with us…" Elissa said, watching the realization dawn in the woman's eyes with her offer.
"Go with you?" Sigrun asked, tilting her head as she pondered it. "But that would go against my vow… and my plan to disappear into the deep un-mourned and forgotten."
"Probably not. Grey Wardens eventually go there too, where we disappear un-mourned and forgotten." Elissa replied, shrugging at her.
"Be a Grey Warden? Is that allowed? Can you be both a part of the Legion and a Grey Warden?" Sigrun asked, searching Elissa's eyes as though she had an answer.
"You'll still fight darkspawn, and die doing so. I don't see much of a difference." Elissa replied, chuckling. "Though, Kardol and I have argued about it a great many times."
"I'll do it. I'll go with you." Sigrun said suddenly, reaching over and taking her hand – shaking at it emphatically. "I'm better off with you at my back than alone, that's for sure."
"Excellent. I will send a missive to Kardol when we return to Vigil's Keep." Elissa replied, adding the if you survive the Joining portion in her head as she could not bear to say it aloud.
The ride back was a joy, everyone laughing and joking – relieved to be alive and above ground once again. Elissa couldn't stop smiling as they stabled the horses, listening to Sigrun complain about having to get down from her long and very enjoyable ride against Nathaniel's back.
"I'll get you for that." Nathaniel assured her, walking out of the stables at her side and listening to her laughter trail off as she caught Alistair's eyes where he stood chatting with Wade once again just outside the armory.
"Shit!" Elissa hissed, seeing him wave and knowing there was no avoiding him this time. "Shit, shit, shit!"
"Oh, this isn't going to be good…" Anders muttered, shifting uncomfortably as The King came down to join them – wrapping an arm around Elissa and tugging her against his side.
"Well you look distinctly worse for the wear." Alistair noted, taking in her disheveled appearance and dirt streaked face but not noticing the look of distress in her eyes. "I didn't realize Amaranthine had fallen on such hard times."
"It hasn't. We only stopped there over night to gather information. We've just returned from a sink hole in the Knotwood Hills." Elissa explained, trying to turn Alistair without him noticing and shift him toward The Keep with the vain hope that somehow he just wouldn't notice the new faces.
"Oh! Is that the hole the hunters were talking about?" Alistair asked, recognizing he was being corralled and struggling lightly against it as he tried to puzzle out why she was doing it.
"The very same. It was full of Broodmothers. We blew them up." Elissa replied, still trying to shuffle him along.
"Blew them up? Elissa… Elissa! Stop shoving me. If you want to get inside so badly just say so." Alistair said, coming to a stop then and glaring down at her. "Besides, you've not introduced your new recruits. I see you picked up a friend for Oghren."
"Ugh. That stink pile is no friend of mine!" Sigrun grimaced, shaking her head in disgust and leaning over to call attention to the one person whom Elissa did not want Alistair to see. "I like them tall, dark and broody."
"Hey… aren't you the prisoner?" Alistair said, suddenly recognizing the man he'd seen from atop The Keep days ago. "Is he the archer you recruited after he saved you from the bandits? I thought you said he was just a common thief."
"Turns out he's actually very useful…" Elissa muttered weakly, watching the tension in Nathaniel's jaw as those words sank in while he accepted The King's handshake.
"Well, anyone who saves my bride to be is alright as far as I'm concerned." Alistair smiled, trying to shake off the feelings of foreboding swirling inside him as he tried to puzzle out why Elissa had lied. "I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name – and I don't want to keep calling you the prisoner… unless that is your name, for some odd reason."
"It's Nathaniel." he answered, holding Elissa's eyes for a moment and watching her turn them to the ground. "Nathaniel Howe."
"I'm sorry… I could have sworn you just said Nathaniel Howe." Alistair said, trying to laugh it off. "But that's impossible. I must have misheard."
"No, I didn't stutter and your hearing is fine." Nathaniel replied, feeling the man release his hand and step away – his body starting to shake with building fury.
"Go inside." Elissa insisted, shuffling them all off with instructions to seek out Varel and have him see to Sigrun's Joining.
"Stay for a moment, if you would." Alistair said as Nathaniel passed him, the glint of anger in his eyes enough to still his movement up the hill and bring him to a silent stop at Elissa's side. "Whose idea was it not to tell me that you've chosen to recruit the son of a murderous traitor into our ranks?"
"Nathaniel is not involved in this. The blame should be laid on me, Alistair." Elissa replied, unable to meet his eyes as she could feel the waves of anger radiating off of him.
"Alright then, you may go." Alistair said, nodding to Nathaniel once again and waiting for him to leave, but Nathaniel hesitated. "I said you may go. I would like to speak privately with my Queen."
"If you wish to speak privately perhaps you should take the discussion inside instead of having it in the middle of the courtyard. And she is not your Queen. Not yet." Nathaniel hissed, eyes narrowing on the man as his own temper raged.
"Nathaniel, don't." Elissa said, planting herself in between them and willing Nathaniel to obey Alistair's request and leave them. He nodded, striding angrily up the hill and disappearing inside the walls of The Keep.
"Start talking." Alistair hissed, grabbing her arm hard and yanking her against him – even more infuriated as he watched her eyes linger on where the man had been even after he had gone.
"Let's go inside. Please. I don't want to do this out here while everyone is watching." Elissa begged, pitching her voice low and trying not to feel all the eyes that were watching them.
"It didn't seem to bother you that everyone was watching while you made a fool of me behind my back!" Alistair said, yanking her again.
"I lied to you, Alistair, and you have every right to be furious with me about that. But I have done nothing else wrong. You have my word." Elissa insisted, holding his eyes and watching the acceptance pass into them. "Now, please, can we go to my room to speak of this further?"
"Fine." Alistair said, shoving her ahead of him and trudging along behind as they made their way to the Master Suite.
Alistair paced inside the room while Elissa removed her filthy armor, taking down her hair slowly as she waited for him to calm down enough to speak to her again.
"How long has he been here?" Alistair asked, looking up to catch Elissa's eyes in the mirror across the room as she ran her fingers through the tangles of her hair.
"He was here in the prison when I got here, Alistair. You know that – you stood on the ramparts with me and watched him leave." Elissa replied, trying to keep her voice calm and even and not to prod him any further.
"I meant how long has he been back and you know that, Elissa. Don't mince words with me. I haven't the patience for it." Alistair hissed, glaring at her as he continued to stomp around the room.
"You know that too. I told you when we brought him back, you were here. The only lies I've told you have been to conceal his identity because I knew how you'd react if I told you the truth." Elissa responded, turning to face him.
"So you actually planned this? You sat and plotted out how you were going to lie to me?" Alistair yelled, coming to a stop across from her and yanking her to her feet.
"Not the way you're making it out. I-I just… I knew you'd be upset and I was trying to find the best way to tell you so that you'd be the least likely to yell… clearly I didn't make the right choice." Elissa replied, her words trailing off as she felt him shaking with anger.
"Yes, clearly." Alistair snipped, his breathing erratic as he searched her eyes. "Are you still in love with him?"
"No, Alistair. It's over. I love you and I've told him that." Elissa replied, reaching up to touch his face and watching him flinch away for a moment before he settled into her touch. "I know it was wrong. I should have told you from the beginning – I just… I knew you would ask me that, and I didn't want you to doubt yourself. I didn't want you to doubt me."
"He doesn't believe you. Why should I?" Alistair asked, thinking about the arrogant assertions of the man down in the courtyard below.
"He doesn't matter. It's only you and me here. If Nathaniel can't accept it, then that is on his head." Elissa insisted, leaning into him – stroking softly at his cheeks. "I'm here, with you – exactly where I want to be."
Alistair ached for her, wanting so badly to believe her in spite of the nagging echo at the back of his mind that told him to say no – to walk away now before he set himself up to fall even further than he already had. He eventually gave in, taking her mouth against his own and wrapping her in his arms as he pressed her back against the bed and laid claim to her body in the hopes he could somehow hold onto her heart.
Elissa woke hours later, bathed in sweat and barely managing to stifle the scream that threatened to rip loose from her chest as she sat up from the nightmare of The Fade.
In the darkness she'd seen The Mother, listened to her plotting, felt the vengeful reaches of her hatred seeking her out within the shadows of the hive mind.
She looked at Alistair, still sleeping soundly beside her – the dwindling fire light playing across the skin of his back and revealing the scars that still remained as a reminder of the time they'd spent in Fort Drakon.
She was overwhelmed with tenderness for him in that moment, curling her knees up against her chest and watching him so peaceful, far away in whatever dreamscape had claimed him for the night.
She tried to lie back down and go to sleep, but found herself too anxious to do so – part of her fearing that she'd find The Mother waiting for her there.
She dressed quickly and silently, trudging through the silent halls of The Keep and making her way up to the ramparts above.
Nathaniel had listened to them argue, forcing himself to leave that section of The Keep when the arguing faded into distinctly less angry sounds – only returning hours later when he was certain they'd gone to sleep.
He woke shortly before Elissa, something in the Fade prodding him out of its clutches just in time to hear her door closing softly and the light padding of her footfalls down the hall. He listened long enough to hear her enter the door that would take her up onto the ramparts above before he dressed himself and went up after her.
She'd sensed the trace of another Warden coming up the stairs behind her, knowing it was far too distant to be Alistair and praying that it wasn't the only other person she could think of who would come in search of her so late at night.
"Are you alright?" Nathaniel said, watching her hair toss about in the wind behind her as he shut the door behind them.
"You shouldn't be up here." Elissa replied, staring resolutely ahead as though denying he was there would make him go away.
"Why not? I'm not harming anything by standing here. Surely your King will allow that." he replied, his tone becoming more and more angry and hurt with every word.
"He hasn't ordered you to do anything, Nathaniel. It's me that's asking." she said, trying to will herself to remain calm – to feel nothing.
"If it's over like you say it is, if I'm just some common thief you've recruited to your cause – then why won't you look at me?" Nathaniel asked, moving closer to her side – close enough that she could feel the heat radiating off his body.
"Please, go. I'm begging you… just walk away." Elissa said, hearing how weak the request sounded – knowing she was encouraging him with every word out of her mouth.
"Look me in the eyes and ask me to go and I'll do as you say." he insisted, standing for a moment and waiting for her to do it herself before reaching out and forcefully turning her toward him. "Look at me, Elissa. Do you really want me to go?"
She looked up at him finally, and he could see it there in her eyes. Everything she'd felt for him in their past and everything she still felt for him even now was warring inside her with the guilt and love she held for Alistair in equal measure. Before he knew what was happening, he'd grabbed her and pressed his mouth hard against hers – kissing her like he'd wanted to hundreds of times since they found each other again. She stood there motionless for awhile, and he began to think she wouldn't return it – that she'd just stand there until he stopped – but then, suddenly, she was kissing him back. Her hands wound up into his hair, pulling him harder against her as her lips parted granting his tongue access to her mouth. He wrapped his arms around her then growling into her mouth, pulling her tight against his body and kissing her over and over and over again – feeling the rush of energy dancing between them just like it had when they'd shared their first kiss ten years before.
"Elissa, come back to bed, it's cold down there and I…" Alistair staggered to a stop, watching her draw back from the archer and press her hand against her mouth, raising her guilty eyes to meet his own. "I should have known… Maker, I'm just as stupid as everyone has always made me out to be." He laughed, rubbing his hands over his face and disappearing inside the doorway.
"What have I done?" Elissa whispered, falling back against the castle edge – barely able to stand as she struggled to find her breath.
"It had to come out, Elissa. It wasn't going to be easy no matter how we went about it." Nathaniel said, reaching over to stabilize her.
"Don't touch me!" she hissed, shoving him away and glaring up at him – running through the door and down the stairs, rushing down the hall back to her room.
Alistair was dressing inside, shoving his things hastily into his pack – anxious to get out of there as quickly as possible.
"Alistair, wait… please stop… let me explain." Elissa begged, trying to still his hands – to get him to stop what he was doing.
"I prayed, I actually prayed to the Maker tonight for the first time in years that I was wrong. That you were telling me the truth when you said it was over between you." Alistair said, laughing sadly as he continued to pack. "Apparently the Maker doesn't listen to me anymore."
"I want it to be over, Alistair. I'm… I'm so confused…" Elissa said, falling back limp against the bed and threading her fingers up into her hair.
"It's alright to be confused. It's completely understandable actually." Alistair said, his voice as calm and even as he could manage in light of what he was about to say. "You never had a chance to get closure because it was taken away from you, and I get that. But I've been fighting against his ghost for years Elissa… and I just barely edged it out. I don't stand a chance against the man himself. Especially not now that he's here, sleeping just down the hall. Kissing you on the ramparts while I'm sleeping in your bed."
"Don't say that. Please don't say that." Elissa begged, crawling over to him across the bed on her knees.
"Whatever this is, you need to sort it out. I love you. A part of me always will – but we can't be together looking over our shoulders. You, wondering if you made the right choice and me, wondering when you're going to go after him." Alistair explained, hearing the catch in his own voice as he picked up his discarded ring off her bedside table.
"No, Maker no! Please, Alistair. Please don't do this! I'll go with you right now to the Chantry in Amaranthine. I'll marry you right this moment. I'll do whatever you want." Elissa begged, desperately holding him against her as the tears started to run down her cheeks.
"Will you send him away? To Weisshaupt, the Anderfels? Hell send him back to the bloody Free Marches! He's already familiar with the place, he should be comfortable there." Alistair asked, holding her eyes and feeling the seconds tick by while she didn't answer him. "That's what I thought. You don't know, your heart hasn't decided – and until it has, I can't be with you. I won't share you with him. I won't share you with anyone."
"Alistair, it's not that simple…" Elissa started, still tugging at him – still trying to hold him there.
"It is that simple. Sort it out. Put it to rest and come back to me if it's meant to be." Alistair said, pressing his lips to her forehead. "Until then, I have to go. I don't belong here anymore."
She watched him move through the door, closing it softly behind him and moving down the hall.
When Nathaniel made his way to her room and knocked, Elissa didn't answer. He'd heard Alistair leave long before, and had heard no movement beyond that so he knew she was inside.
"Elissa?" he pressed through the door, turning to see her sitting limp on it, staring blankly out the window and into the rising light of dawn.
"Did you come to gloat?" she asked, eyes dull and listless in her puffy tear streaked face.
"Gloat? No… I came to see if you're alright." Nathaniel said, trying to read her – to find something in her tone that gave him an idea of what to expect, of what she was thinking, but she was dead – just gone.
"Alright." Elissa shorted, barely able to manage the energy it took to bark out that short laugh. "I was. I was better than alright for a time. I was happy."
"You can be happy again, Elissa. We can be happy together if you'd just give it a chance." Nathaniel insisted, starting to reach out for her – stopping when she looked up at him with the first emotion he'd seen since he came into the room. And it was not love, but loathing.
"You think I can be happy with you after what you've just done?" she said, jaw tensing as her fury built. "Alistair was the one good thing I had left. He was my rock… but you've taken him away from me and now I'm left adrift in this madness with nothing to hold to. I'm lost."
"You can hold to me. You've always been able to hold to me." he insisted, searching her face – trying to will her to believe him.
"Is that so? Could I hold to you when you walked away from me years ago to do your duty?" Elissa hissed, eyes narrowing on him as the venom welled up inside her.
"Father orchestrated the whole thing, we both know that now. You can't hold me responsible. I was young and it was bred into me to do as I was told." Nathaniel replied, knowing she was prodding at him but unable to completely fight down his own temper. "You're just trying to make me angry. You are making me angry, but I won't let you push me away."
"So what now? How does the rest of your big plan play out? Do you expect me to thank you? To invite you into my bed?" she asked, tears running down her cheeks – tears of anger and of sorrow – she was so confused she didn't even know what she felt anymore and wasn't sure she cared to find out. "Well go on! Take it then, claim your prize. Have a go at the Hero of Ferelden!" She reached out and grabbed the front of his pants then, tugging him closer and working at his belt.
"What are you doing?" he said, voice cracking as he fumbled to get her hands away from their task before she managed to get his pants off and take over the situation despite how wrong he knew it would be. "Stop, stop it! You don't even know what you're doing."
"What's wrong, Nathaniel? Isn't this what you wanted? I'm here… I'm yours… I'm willing…" Elissa insisted, laying back against the bed and looking up at him – knees parted just enough to be an invitation. "All you have to do is take it. I know you want to. I can see it on your face."
"This isn't what I wanted, and you know it. Things weren't supposed to be this way." Nathaniel replied, willing away the feelings of disgust mingling with desire and despair inside him.
"No. They weren't. We were supposed to have our happily ever after, but we lost that chance so now you've taken it upon yourself to make sure I don't get it with anyone else. And now, here we are. Alone together in your dead father's room, waiting for you to reap your just rewards. Tell me, lover, is it good for you? Is it everything you thought it would be?" she whispered, starting to cry fully as the waves of loss settled in on her. He just stood there staring, unable to speak as the waves of emotion passed through him one after another. "It's not is it? You see it now? Now that it's too late to stop what you've started. Now that the damage is done."
"Elissa…" he said, unable to stop his heart from breaking all over again as she rolled away from him and sobbed into her pillow.
"Get out of my room!" Elissa yelled, her whole body shaking as she cried. "Just get away from me. Maker please, just go."
She listened to the click of the door a few moments later, and fully handed herself over to her sorrow - knowing that things would never be the same.