Chapter Twenty-Five – The Funeral

Sydney's POV

It had been six days. Today was the day. I sat in my room, applying my makeup. Dark eyeliner surrounded my grey eyes that today were nearly black. Louis knocked on my door for the hundredth time, "Sydney, come on. We're going to be late."

"I'm not ready yet!" I screamed. I had to admit, I hadn't been very nice to him lately, but this wasn't the time for him to be treating me this way.

I continued to get ready as I heard mumbles outside of the door. "I saw your car in the driveway and thought I'd come see what was happening." "I don't know, mate, she won't come out." "Let me try something."

Suddenly there was a new voice calling me, "Syd, sweetie, it's time to go, you can ride with me if you want." Harry's voice was painful to hear, I could tell he was upset with my actions as well. I stayed silent; I couldn't yell at Harry, he hadn't promised me everything was going to be okay. There was a few more mumbles before Louis was back to calling for me. I still ignored him; I was trying to finish getting ready.

I nearly jumped to jesus when I felt someone's hand on my shoulders. I could smell Harry's cologne as it filled the room. "How did you get in here? I locked the door." I asked, turning to face him.

He motioned to the window, "You left that one unlocked. Now tell me, why won't you come out?"

"Because he's rushing me," I explained. "I'm trying to do my makeup and I'm not ready yet." I hand shook as I pressed my red lipstick to my lips, smearing it on my cheek. "Dammit." I took a napkin and wiped the lipstick off my cheek.

"Here, let me help," Harry said, taking the lipstick in his hand. I pouted my lips as he placed it on my lips. He continued to help me finish getting ready. He slid my dress over my nearly naked body, tugged my jacket over my shoulders, and pushed my heels onto my aching feet. I placed my earrings in my ears and slid my ring onto my finger. My hand was still shaking uncontrollably.

As I reached for my purse, Harry grabbed my hand. "Sydney, you're okay. You're going to be strong today, I know it." I nodded as I leaned toward him. "Thank you, Harry."

Harry had a repulsed look on his face, "Sydney, have you been smoking?"

"No, of course not, that's a dirty habit." I replied, kicking the box of cigarettes under my bed.

"Then why does your breath reek of smoke, and alcohol? Sydney, please."

"Oh shush. What are you going to do, tell my mother? Oh wait, she's dead!" I stormed out of the room to see Louis still standing there, red rings around his eyes to indicate he had been crying.

"I'm ready now. Oh, and you shaved. Too bad, your scruff was really sexy." I pinched his chin and started walking down the stairs. I was wobbly on my feet, and Louis caught me right before I fell down the entire flight. I thanked him as we slowly made our way to his car.

Louis' POV

I helped Sydney into the car, making sure she didn't collapse. I knew she wasn't feeling well, and I knew she was angry at the world. When I got her safely into the car and shut the door, I slid into the driver's side. I waited for Harry to pull out into the road until I pulled out myself and began to follow him to the funeral home.

The ride was silent. There was no use in trying to make small talk; I knew she just wanted to stay with her thoughts. About five minutes into the car ride Syd began to sing. She sang the same song over and over again, The Funeral by Band of Horses. I wanted so badly to stop her, but I didn't have it in my heart. It was also partially selfish, her voice made my heart flutter. She had the perfect tone; every note was perfect, breath control perfect. I admired her. She didn't even try and she was still the most perfect person I knew. When she sang, you knew she could sing any type of music she wanted to. But she sang acoustic songs, songs that took guts to sing live. Her voice was unique, something everyone thought beautiful. Especially me.

We eventually pulled into the funeral home, amongst the solemn people. I parked the car and got out, opening the door to let Syd out. She was still wobbly on her feet and I held her hand tight as we talked towards the building. Everyone stared as us, her family and friends all wanting to approach her, but turned away from her warning eyes.

We made it inside the building and sat in the first row. There was a slideshow of photos being played right above the casket. There were photos from when Sydney was young and they made me frown. I could see constant bruises and scars on her, and I was one of the few people that knew how they actually came to appear on her skin.

I looked over to her; she had a numb look upon her face, like when she first heard the news. I hated this look. I knew that she was suppressing her emotions and I wanted her more then anything to just let them out.

Her brother and father soon came to sit next to us; both of them were carefully watching Sydney as they knew how badly she was handling the whole situation. I looked around and saw all of the boys sitting in the back row with Theresa. Even though they didn't really know her mother, neither did I, they still came to support her. They even signed things and auctioned them off for thousands of dollars to donate to St. Jude's Children's Hospital, where they treat children with cancer.

The ceremony began and the entire room went quiet. Sydney's father went up to the podium, "I'd like to thank you all for coming today, for celebrating my wife's life with us. Stefanie was a mother, a sister, a wife, a daughter, a niece, an aunt, a cousin, or a friend to all of us. However, she was more then that. Stefanie was never content with anything she did until it was perfect. Once she believed it was perfect, she would finish it and put it away. I believe this is why Stefanie is not with us today. Just before she passed away, I got to speak to her one last time. As she was about to fall asleep she turned to me and said, 'Honey, today is the day.' I didn't want to hear this from her, I didn't want to admit it to myself that I wasn't going to wake up everyday and see her face next to me. That's when I realized it, though. That's when I realized that she had everything she wanted in life. When we were first dating she told me, 'I want a farm, a nice farm with good animals and a house with character.' We have that. She also told me, 'I want two kids, a boy and a girl. I want them to grow up and to be everything they want to be.' Our children have succeeded in everything they've ever dreamed of. Tanner is planning on graduating with his doctorate in the spring. Sydney is performing in front of thousands of people every night. To Stefanie, her life was now perfect. That's why she left us, because she was satisfied with what she had accomplished. However, her expectations are forever instilled in all of us. We will not do anything until we meet her standards. I believe that is a good thing to live by. I love you, honey. I miss you. I will never forget you."

He then turned to the casket and placed a single lily on it and returned to her seat. Next her brother stood up and took the stage. "I'm going to keep this short," he started. "One thing I always admired about my mother was that she always pushed me to be the best that I could be, even if I didn't believe it myself. It's no secret that I wasn't exactly the best student in high school. She punished me and yelled at me and tried everything she knew to get me to do well. If she didn't push me like that, I wouldn't be where I am today. So thank you, mom, for always believing in me and always telling me I can do anything if I tried. Also, you were pretty cool." He turned to the casket and placed his own flower atop it.

When Syd stood up I began to worry, I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to be strong for her anymore. I could feel the emotions of the depressed room inside of me. However, she made her way up to the podium and began to speak. "Many people have come up to me in the past few days and said things like, 'I'm so sorry for your loss.' Or 'This is so tragic, I'm hope you're okay.' The truth is, I'm not okay. I don't believe anyone is when they go through something like this. We can all pretend that life moves on and that everything will work out in the end, but it doesn't. Now, I could come up her and ramble about the good old times, but I'm not going to do that. One of the last things my mother told me before she passed was this, 'I want you to get back up on that stage every night and give it everything you have. You are going to do it for me. You are going to do it for your father and your brother. You are going to do it for every family that has ever gone through this hell.' So right now, I'm going to do that, for her. I know this song isn't very original, but it's all I have."

Suddenly I saw Niall with his guitar making his way to the stage. Harry, Liam, Zayn, and Theresa soon followed. She turned to speak to me, "Louis, I'm sorry I didn't include you in this, but I really just needed you to be there for me emotionally, not harmonically." I nodded as I was hurt by being left out of the entire thing. However, if this was what made her happy, I was okay with it.

She turned back to speak to everyone, "This song is called 'Mama' by the Spice Girls. I dedicate it to my mother, the most beautiful woman I have ever known."

Niall started strumming his guitar as Syd's shaky voice began to sing, "She used to be my only enemy, never let me be free. Catching me in places that I knew I shouldn't be. Every other day I crossed the line, I didn't mean to be so bad. I never thought you would become the friend I never had."

Then all the others joined in. The harmony made it sound choir like, "Mama I love you, Mama I care. Mama I love you, Mama my friend. You're my friend."

Syd continued on by herself, "I didn't want hear it then but I'm not afraid to say it now. Every little thing you said and did was right for me. I had a lot of time to think about, about the way I used to be, never had a sense of my responsibility. Back then I did not know why, why you were misunderstood. So now I see through your eyes, all that you did was love."

The other five took over as Sydney sat there, staring at the ground. Soon she bolted from the room. I motioned for all of them to keep playing as I took after her. I opened the big doors and noticed that snow had begun to fall.

"Sure is something, isn't it? How one moment everything is alive and healthy and then one cold, evil thing comes and kills it all." Sydney's voice was solid, strong.

I didn't think of anything to do but hold her in my arms. She didn't fight it, something she had been doing all week. She was fighting everything. But she didn't have to fight me, and I think she was grateful for that. I would take whatever she threw at me because I knew she didn't mean it; I knew she was in a dark place. We just stood there, not a tear being shed until the she finally spoke, "Why did you promise?"

"What?" I asked, pulling away to look at her.

"Why did you promise that everything was going to be okay?"

"Because for the moment, I thought it was. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, but can you make me one more promise?"

"Anything."

"Promise you won't leave me like she did. Promise you won't ever give up on me."

"I promise." I kissed the top of her head and smiled. It was right then I knew I was one of the few things she had left in this world, and I was going to do everything in my power to protect her.