His eyes were reflecting his smile just a second ago, but now they were staring at her wide open with a blank expression she had never seen before.

She could feel her throat tighten when she saw that look on his face. She didn't know what to make of it. The room was caving in on her like someone had just sucked all the fun out of it, along with the oxygen to breathe. She felt nauseous ... wishing she hadn't eaten that much peanut butter.

Silence ... and even though in reality it was only a second or two, for Kate it seemed to last forever.

He didn't take his eyes off her when he finally spoke, "What did you just say?" His voice an octave or two higher then normally ... sounding incredibly strange coming out of his mouth.

She stammered on the words, and for the first time in a very long time she prayed for god to help her to not screw this up ... not this time around.

"I-I said ...I said ..."

He cut her off before she could even repeat it, "I know what you said, but what are you saying?"

He was in shock, in awe, in denial ... hell, for the second time today he was completely dumbfounded by what she was saying. First her admission about the cancer and that she was going to leave him and now this. She was just full of fucking surprises today.

She swallowed and looked away for a moment as she gathered some courage and thought about how she would say it. She failed miserably and all that came out was, "I don't know why I said that ... I'm not even sure." The coward that she is was already wondering how she'd get into the vent without him giving her a lift. She could use one of the chairs, she decided in a heartbeat. But would he let her leave? Stupid woman, she was basically at his mercy now ... she might have to tackle him to the ground again first, before making a run for the vent.

He stood up now, wiping his hands on his jeans before he started pacing. She stood up too watching him, trying to read his face ... trying to see what he was thinking.

He stopped and turned towards her, making eye contact again, waving his hands as he spoke "What made you think that you might be pregnant?"

He knew if he wanted to know more, he'd have to ask the questions ... their little dance that they do, only giving up enough information to get by. But he needed more tonight, he needed answers ... he was scared to hear them but he needed answers.

"I'm late." She stated almost embarrassed while looking up at him from across the room. She stood with her arms crossed once again. The last thing she wanted right now was to start a fight, but better be prepared.

"How late?" he shot back quicker then she'd expected.

"I'm not sure."

His eyebrows furrowed and his forehead was wrinkled when he shook his head all the while looking at her, "What do you mean you're not sure?" His voice expressed the confusion that was written all over his face.

She dared to take a step towards him, her voice loud and clear. She decided to put on a brave face, after all she could run, he couldn't. "I mean I'm not sure when I had my last period Sawyer? I don't remember?"

Still the same look on his face when he said, "How can you not remember?" He shot back now, like it's a no brainer. His eyes set on hers ... he didn't understand.

She sighed in defeat, when she looked at him with those innocent green eyes. Rubbing the back of her neck with her right hand for a moment as she looked around the room. She let her arms fall to her side again before she shrugged her shoulders, "I think ... I think it was about a month or so before you left, but I honestly can't remember the exact dates." Then she locked eyes with him again before she asked, "Do you ... do you remember?"

"Why would I ...?" He stopped mid sentence as he was still staring at her. And she could see it in his face and in his eyes that he was thinking about it. Seconds passed as she could practically see the wheels in his head turning. Then he shook his head and looked to the ground, silence again before he continued, "I think you're right, I think it was about a month before I left. That's the last time I remember. You haven't had your period since then?" He swallowed hard after asking that question.

She just looked up at him and said, "That was the last time I had it."

Damn!

He was scared. Scared to do the wrong thing. Scared to say the wrong thing. Scared of possibly having fathered another child he wouldn't be around to raise. Another child that would end up hating him for not being around. Another child who would possible grow up thinking he or she was unwanted by him.

But then there was this other feeling. This feeling he was ashamed to admit too. This feeling that was betraying him and his logical way of thinking. This feeling of ... pride.

He can't leave the island. He shouldn't want to have a child with her ... anymore.

So they just stood there, staring at each other. That's when he saw it in her eyes too. She was scared ... just like him ... hell, probably even more so. And he didn't know what the right thing to say was giving their situation, but he knew one thing he could do to make her feel better. And he hoped that for the moment it would be good enough.

And just like that his facial expression softened as he wrapped her in his arms. Pulling her in, his hand in her still damp hair as he held on tight. He closed his eyes and just took a deep breath, when he noticed how she went limp in his arms. And even though she didn't make a sound, he just knew she was crying. Those are the worst kinda tears ... the ones that don't make a sound. So he said the only thing that made sense at the moment.

He whispered in her ear as he held on even tighter, "Shhhhhhh ... it'll be alright Freckles. It will be alright." He didn't know if it would be. Maybe it was the biggest and boldest lie he ever told in his whole pathetic life, but he would have said anything to make her feel better at the moment.

And there it was again. That stupid feeling of pride that she might be carrying his child after all. Even if he'd never be a part of this kid's life, it would forever be something that would connect them. For all eternity. For generations to come there would be his and her genes mixed up into one ... and all of it started with the bribe of a kiss for nonexistent inhalers and her somehow loving him in spite of it all. In spite of him! Him ... the cowardly lousy son of a bitch he really is!

He scooped her up into his arms, and slid down along the wall until he ended up on the floor. Him sitting with his back against the wall, and she was sitting in his lap. Her head in the crook of his neck. Both her arms wrapped tightly around him, holding onto him for dear life. He held her just as tight, with his chin resting on top of her head.

They didn't know how much time had passed ... it seemed like hours.

But it could have only been minutes since both their clothing hadn't dried yet.

He was starting to feel cold even with her in his arms, and call it instinct or stupid macho behavior, but none the less he got worried. About her and the baby!

He stroked her hair out of her face and said, "Did you bring any dry clothes for you?"

It took a second for her to sit up, steadying herself with her left hand flat on his chest. She shook her head 'no', barely making eye contact with him.

"Well hell sugar, I appreciate all the stuff you brought for me, but there ain't no sunshine down here to dry us up. You need to go and get yourself some dry clothes on before you catch pneumonia or something." He gently framed her face and smiled at her before he kissed her forehead, then her cheek and then gave her a gentle sweet kiss on her lips.

He gave her the sweetest genuine smile he could muster. And she smiled back at him, wrapping both her arms around his neck and holding him close before she pushed herself up to stand. He stood up too, and wiped some tears away that were still lingering right beneath her eyes.

"Okay, I go get changed. Do you need anything else while I'm out?" She said, pulling her hair out of her face and knotting it into a bun. It had gotten long enough that she could do that without even using a hair tie.

Sweet denial! He'd changed the subject into something totally different ... pneumonia? Sometimes she wished she could read his mind, because at times like these he made absolutely no sense at all. And it probably made even less sense that she just went along with it.

He just shook his head, "No Freckles, I'm good."

He walked underneath the vent and held out his folded hands for her to step into again, so she did. Right after she'd disappeared into the vent, this nagging question popped into his mind.

Is she going to come back?

So he asked, "Hey, are you still spending the night in here with me?"

He couldn't see her, but he could hear her, "Do you still want me too?"

"Of course."

"I'll be back then in a little bit." She already sounded a little further away, her voice not as loud as just a second ago.

"Bring more blankets then, cause it's freezing in here."

"Okay."

And she was gone.

He paced around the empty cold room like a caged animal.

It couldn't be. She couldn't be. She was on birth control. He had read it in her medical files from Gordy and after snooping around long enough he'd found the proof in her dresser drawer. For month they had had unprotected sex when 'whatever happens' was there philosophy. And nothing had happened. So what are the odds that she was really pregnant now after having been on birth control ... it didn't make sense. But then again, what the hell made sense these days?

There had to be another reason why she was late. Where the hell was the ghost of Jackass when you need him? Would a spinal surgeon even know about pregnancies and periods and that sort of stuff?

He knew damn well who had the answers to his questions, but he wasn't gonna wish in a million years to see her ghostly appearance. Bad enough Hurley had told him that he'd talked to her once, but it was before he'd come back ... long time ago.

He didn't wanna see her. He couldn't face her ... and considering the circumstance, she'd be the last person or ghost he'd wanna discuss Kate's pregnancy with. The woman's been through enough. She doesn't need to hear that he married and knocked Kate up.

He stood still and looked around the room again. As scared as he was about having to deal with this whole situation, he wished Kate would hurry up and come back to him. Because the more he looked around the room, it seemed like the walls were caving in on him. He couldn't stand to be locked up, yet alone with all these crazy fucking thoughts roaming around his head ... it drove him insane. He wasn't really prepared to have any sort of discussion with Kate about it all, but he needed her. Here. Now.

He rifled through the big bag she'd brought and got a towel, soap and shampoo out.

He turned the water to hot and let it run before he got in, waiting and wondering if it would get hot at all. It did and after slipping off his already untied trekking boots, he got undressed and stepped under the steaming hot stream. He felt the water trickle down his body and he concentrated on that feeling, just to have a few minutes of serenity. A quick hot steamin' shower while the world was still alright.

Denial again. He had his eyes closed tightly pretending like a child to be somewhere where he damn sure knew he wasn't. But for the moment it seemed to work. Pretending to be back in L.A., his house ... their house. Their bathroom and any moment now the shower door would open up and she'd step in. She'd wrap her arms around him and press her face to his chest all the while telling him not to hog all the water. A smile formed on his face at that thought. Or was it a memory? Guess it was a mixture of both.

The moment didn't last. The pretending didn't work as good as he'd hoped, because there it was again. Pride ... stupid idiotic selfish macho pride. How the stupid thought of her having his baby after all filled his selfish heart with such intense pride was beyond believe to him.

It wasn't fair to her, he knew that. The circumstances where the worst possible. Their relationship had managed to disintegrate to an all time low due to his actions and her knowledge or lack there off what his reasons were for leaving her. No matter which way he twisted and turned, there could be no good outcome. She'd just end up with a baby and a broken heart once again. And he knew there was nothing he could do about it!

She was on her way back already, but no longer in such a rush as the last time. She sat down on the staircase with another bag of clothes and blankets and a few other things that might come in handy. She needed a quiet moment to herself to think.

She was still trying to wrap her mind around what had just happened. She couldn't believe that she'd actually had the courage to tell him ... But what had she been thinking? 'Eating for two' ... she normally wasn't the kinda person that would joke about something so potentially serious. And on top of it all, she really didn't know what to make of his reaction. She didn't have any idea of how he would react, but the way it had all played out was different than anything she could have pictured in her head. What did he mean when he'd said 'It'll all be alright'? She had no idea how he dared to make that kind of assumption. Because truth be told, she was scared to death about it all. But that was a whole 'nother matter in itself.

"God, we are so screwed," she huffed to herself as she buried her face into her hands, trying her best not to start crying again.

The hot shower had warmed him up. He was sure that by the time he'd step out of the shower she'd be back here, but she wasn't. He shook his head to himself as he started to button up the dry clean shirt she'd brought for him earlier. Chances are she wasn't coming back tonight.

He sat down in one of the chairs in front of the monitor screens and turned knobs and pushed buttons once again, using the outside cameras in an attempt to at least get a glimpse of her. But he couldn't find her. She was nowhere to be seen. He sighed and pulled the clean socks on he'd found in the bag ... his boots had to dry out first.

He climbed up on the chair and inspected the air vent ... there was just no way he would ever fit through there. He sighed, sat back down and looked around the room.

A baby! How the hell did that happen? Well, he knew how it happened. But why now? He shook his head again ... if there is a god then he has one sick sense of humor, that's for sure!

A faint smile formed on his face as he remembered something he had once read. 'If you want to make god laugh tell him your plans.' Yup, that's about right ... that sums it right up!

He looked around the small room again. His chest felt tight as he tried to take a deep breath ... he needed to get the hell out of here.

This day had started out so good this morning. In her arms ... in her! And then it went to hell!

His eyes fell on the monitors again, searching for a sign of her out there, but still nothing. She was probably already in bed, regretting every decision that had brought the two of them together. At least that's what Sawyer imagined she was doing.

To take his mind of the baby issue at hand and from feeling 'caged in' he continued to watch the tape of the swan hatch. His eyes were glued to the screen when he watched Kate still hold him and just hug him for what seems like quiet a long time. Then he hears Jack yelling in the background, "Half dead with a bullet hole in his shoulder John."

Kate raises her head towards the commotion, but when Sawyer quietly moans in pain she stays put and keeps on stroking his hair back and caressing his face tenderly. And once again, she places a small kiss on his forehead, and let's her lips linger there while she closes her eyes.

And his heart aches. What he wouldn't give to have her hold him like that right now. And for a second he looks towards the other screens again, but she's still not in sight. He sighed and focused his attention on the video again instead.

Minutes go by and he can hear some sort of commotion going on in the hatch. Jack arguing with ... hell, god knows who. And after a while curiosity seemed to have gotten the better of Kate as she slowly and carefully slid of the bed. She gently places his head down on the pillow and pulls the blanket up a little higher. Sawyer smiles as he watches the screen and sees how she then proceeds to pull the blanket down again.

Maybe she just likes the 'view'!

Then she whispers to him, "You're still burning up." As if she's trying to explain to him why she'd just moved the blanket down again. She places one more gentle kiss on his forehead, like a mother putting her child to bed and then walked out of the room.

For a brief second all Sawyer could see was himself lying there alone, until the camera changed on the video and instead he saw Mr. Ecko arguing with Jack. Along with Locke, Michael, Sun and now also Kate looking on.

"Ana Lucia made a mistake." Moments later Jack disappears with Mr. Ecko ... no guns.

He contemplates turning the video off now, as he grunts an "Ahh hell" to himself ... so sure of himself. But he watches on, although convinced he knows what's going to happen next. Sun had just informed Kate what had happened. Shannon's dead. Sayid's being held at gunpoint and Dr. Giggles is going out there with not even a fucking gun.

Surely Kate will run after him any second now. Surely she will run into the gun room, grab a gun and follow Jack.

After all, it's Jack here we're talking about!

He sighed again, leaning back into the uncomfortable chair as he lets his eyes wander over to the other monitors again, searching for her.

Then in the corner of his eye he sees it. In awe he watches as she turns back around and rather slowly and quietly settles in a chair next to his bed again.

What the hell is she doing?

He sits up straight again, moving in closer to the screen as if that would actually give him a better view. She just sits there, watching him sleep as her right hand reaches for his and she just holds it. She just holds his hand and stays put. She's not running after Jack!

And he feels like such an idiot ... such a fool, when this feeling of victory takes over his heart. After all, this all happened a fucking lifetime ago. But still ... Jack-0 Me-1

He twists his ring again on his hand and then his mind started wondering once again. How many points do you get for kneeling down to take a bullet for her? And jumping from a chopper to save her? The 'I do' oughta be worth some bonus points.

The smile that had formed faded again when he wondered how many points you lose for breaking her heart time and again. And is anybody even still keeping score when the other player died.

Am I just the winner by default?

Right at that moment he notices himself starting to twist and turn on that video screen. Like he's having a nightmare or something the like. A mixture of pearls of sweat and Goosebumps on his skin, even noticeable on the grainy black and white screen. He watches as she leans in closer, still holding his right hand tightly in hers. "Hey ... hey, can you hear me?" She's not whispering anymore, stroking his hair again. "You're gonna be okay. You're gonna be alright. You're home."

He feels his heart ache for how stupid he was. How could he not have seen that she loved him all along?

Right at that thought he hears a noise coming from the vent above and he quickly turns the video off again.

"Freckles, is that you?" he asked rather loud, but he didn't yell.

"Are you expecting someone else?" comes back quickly echoing through the vent and he can't help but smile.

And there she is, holding something in her hand out to him. He reaches up to grab it, but he can already smell it.

"You made me dinner?" That stupid smile plastered all over his face again as if someone is still keeping score.

"I made us dinner." She snaps back, "Can you put it down and help me down please?" So he does, as she drags another bag with more things down with her.

She starts digging in the bag and pulls out two forks and holds them up, "Hungry?"

"You know me, lollipop." As he reaches for one of the forks and they both sit down on the floor side by side. He carefully takes the aluminum foil of the still somewhat hot pot and they both start diggin' in.

"Hmmm ... this is good." He says, while he has a mouthful of it.

"It's just spaghetti with meatballs. Best I could do on short notice." She says with a sound to her voice that is supposed to diminish the fact that she did this for him ... like it's no big deal. Which it wasn't really ... but it was to him.

He glances down at her with a smile on his lips and those dimples digging deep into his cheeks, "It's still hot, which makes it perfect ... thank you." And he leans in to kiss her gently on the lips.

She beams back at him as her lips still lingered on his for a second or two.

I love him ... ohhhhhh I love him so much!

They sit and eat in silence for a while ... well, he eats. She kinda just sits there with her fork in her hand watching him and tells him she's full when he wonders why she isn't eating.

He spreads one blanket out on the floor then throws the two pillows on top of it, right as she walks out of the bathroom.

"Ready for bed hun'?"

She just nods her head and sits down to untie her boots to take them off.

Both of them settle down, on the pillow as he wraps her in his arms and draws her closer to him. Spooning her from behind, hugging her as they snuggle into each other and draw the blankets up to their chins. Trying to get comfortable and warm.

And he's just about to drift of, because its been a long and emotional day, when he notices it as his feet touch hers. Her socks are wet. And too tired to even articulate anything, too even 'argue' he pulls back the blanket and sits up.

She was just getting comfy when he disrupts her sleep like that, and sits up too, "What are you doing?"

But before she knows it, he's already taking her wet socks off and pulling his dry socks of himself, just to pull them onto her feet a mere second later.

"There, better." He mumbles and lies back down, pulling her back down with him as he covers them both back again in the blankets.

Her voice muffled from the blanket, "Now you're gonna have cold feet."

"I'll be fine," he states. "After all, you gotta keep warm for two."

End Note: Please leave a review if you have a moment to spare, it's much appreciated. Thank you!