Chapter 17

Alfred beamed proudly at all of his classmates who stopped to speak to his mother, most of the guys with awe on their faces and the girls with avid interest. As a kid, Alfred had always been proud of his parents. In a way, he almost mooched off their success, and delighted when some bratty kid that had snubbed him met his parents only to be shocked into silence. Of course, Alfred knew first hand that they were not the easiest people to love. His mother was not a warm, soft type of person, and his father was a ruthless competitor, but they had little ways of showing him they cared. Perhaps ironically, their deficiencies in character were Alfred's strengths. He had a huge heart and a warm, energetic sincerity that he brought to each and every relationship. In this way, Alfred balanced out his parents' defects just as they balanced out his.

"I intend to speak to the principal about this custodial duty he has you on," Helen announced, as they walked down the hallway at a brisk clip.

"Please don't. It's already settled. I deserved the punishment, and I'm doing it. It's not a big deal," Alfred said. His mother sneered, but even with such an ugly expression on her face, she still looked beautiful.

"It was a result of hazing, which shouldn't be practiced in the school to begin with—much less endorsed, as it seems to be here. You just keep quiet and let me handle it, Alfred," his mother replied crisply. Alfred sighed, but knew it was pointless to argue further. Once his mother had made up her mind about something, trying to change it was like attempting to jump in front of a moving train and push it in the other direction.

He tagged along behind her, smiling weakly at the few people who were able to overcome their shock quickly enough to wave or say hello as they breezed down the hallway. They passed the cafeteria, and Alfred's stomach grumbled.

"Do I have to go with you, Mom? Can I go eat breakfast?" he asked. His mother considered it and then waved him off.

"Fine. You're impossible if you're hungry. Eat up, though. We likely won't have time for lunch today," she said. Relieved, Alfred left his mother to her quest and doubled back towards the cafeteria. He was surprised to see Matthew coming from the opposite direction. As soon as he saw him, he waved happily and jogged to his side.

"Is that your mother?" Matthew asked, his tone one of surprise. Alfred nodded.

"Yep, she got in first thing this morning. Man, are you exhausted? I only got a few hours of sleep before she was knocking on the door, and I feel like a total zombie," Alfred said, punctuating his statement with a yawn. Matthew looked a little tired, too.

"Yeah, Francis gets a little talkative when he's drunk sometimes. He didn't stop rambling till nearly three in the morning."

"Anything funny?" Alfred asked, as they entered the lunch line. Matthew smiled.

"A lot of it was very personal, so I won't go into details, but he talked about his family…and about me. We never really talked after the kiss, you know. He was so hurt and jealous that he didn't want me to just explain it all away."

"You sound a lot better about it all, though," Alfred said hopefully. Matthew flashed him a tired smile.

"I've been crying for days. I guess I'm just all out of tears. Besides…this sham of a relationship he's got going with Arthur is just about the funniest thing I've ever seen." At the reminder, Alfred grabbed an apple with way more force than necessary, nearly bruising it.

"Glad you find it so amusing. It is completely obvious that Francis doesn't give a crap about Arthur's feelings. Why would Arthur want to have his first relationship with someone who's just looking for a rebound?" Alfred asked.

"Because he thinks he can't have you?" Matthew suggested lightly. Alfred frowned, and grabbed roughly twenty slices of bacon, as well as two hash browns and a scone. Matthew only had a small bowl of oatmeal, which Alfred knew would soon be soaked with maple syrup.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Alfred replied, sounding a little petulant. Matthew shot him a look.

"Don't play dumb, Alfred. You know he cares for you more than he lets on—probably much more, in fact."

Alfred shrugged his broadening shoulders. "Maybe," he said noncommittally. Matthew rummaged around for a cold bottle of juice and placed it on his tray, still dripping ice water. Alfred snagged three bottles of chocolate milk.

"So you don't return his feelings? Not even a little bit?" Matthew prodded. Alfred blushed, and tore at the label on one of his milk bottles. The line inched forward at a crawl.

"Of course I like him—he's my best friend. I've thought about it, too, even dreamed about it a few times…but there's a difference between thinking about something and doing something, ya know?" Alfred said.

"You didn't seem to have any problems kissing me," Matthew reminded gently. Alfred's frown deepened.

"I've been reading up on it. Back in the states, there are camps kids can go to who are confused about all of this stuff. They say they can make you straight. I wanna go, but I don't want my mom and dad to find out. I haven't quite figured out how to manage it yet."

Matthew froze in line, staring in surprise at his friend. Alfred shifted his eyes away uncomfortably.

"What? Stop looking at me like that. Can you honestly say that if someone could magically make you not be gay anymore, that you wouldn't be tempted? It would make everything easier for you," Alfred said. "No more bullying, no more being a joke, no more people you don't even know hating you. You could be popular, and happy, and you'd never have to think about all this crap," Alfred added. After a moment longer, Matthew turned his eyes to his tray, his reply soft yet strong when he finally found words.

"If I wasn't myself, I'd have never met you and become such good friends," Matthew paused, his lips twisting into a sad smile. "I would have never met Francis. What kind of person would I be without the memory of our first kiss in my heart? Arthur likes you, maybe even loves you, and I think you might love him, too. You can walk away from that, but you'd be ignoring a heart that's never steered you wrong before. Maybe, before you try to change yourself, you should try being yourself first? You never know—you might like who you are just as much as I do," Matthew said with a little grin.

Alfred was still frowning, but there was a thoughtful look in his eyes that had not been there before. Matthew could only hope something he'd said had rang true for his confused friend. At least, Matthew hoped for Arthur's sake that it had.

USUK

After breakfast, with Matthew's words still bouncing around in his head, Alfred tracked down Arthur and found him in the library, returning all the books he'd borrowed the previous week. He had a stack of new ones to read over the vacation.

"Alfred! I'm surprised to see you. I thought you'd be with your mum all day," Arthur said. Alfred shrugged.

"She's on a tour of the school with the Headmaster, likely. I wanted to see you before you left for home, so I've been looking everywhere for you."

"Oh…well…here I am," Arthur said, a bit awkwardly. His expression morphed into a prim frown. "I meant to tell you I'm terribly sorry about your suit and sheets. It can't have been easy lugging me back to the dorm last night. Err…and I'm sorry for my poor manners this morning when your mother arrived."

"I pantsed you in front of your grandmother. So what if you peed in front of my mom with the door open? I'd say we're probably even," Alfred joked. Gathering his books into his arms, Arthur blushed.

"I suppose so," Arthur said. Alfred glanced briefly at the librarian, who seemed to be ignoring them rather determinedly. Arthur came a little closer, his green eyes curious.

"You're acting kind of strange, Alfred. Is it because of last night?" Arthur asked, his cheeks flushing a bit with color.

"Maybe," Alfred said quietly. He bit nervously on the corner of his lip, as if there was something he needed to say, but he just wasn't quite sure how to say it.

"You know…I never got a chance to give you your Christmas gift," Arthur said. Alfred's eyes widened in surprise.

"You got me something?" Arthur smiled at Alfred's boyish enthusiasm.

"It's not much. I made it, actually." Arthur set his books down on a nearby table and opened his book bag, producing a soft looking knitted hat. It was a pretty shade of blue, with a fuzzy ball on the top. Still blushing, he pushed it into Alfred's hands.

"I'm sure you'll practice loads over the vacation, and I thought this might keep your ears warm in all that snow they're saying we'll get."

For a long moment, Alfred held the hat in his hands, running his fingers over the perfect little rows of knotted yarn. Blushing even more, Arthur added, "It matches your eyes. When I saw the color, I thought of you." Alfred stared at him intensely, something in his blue-eyed gaze that Arthur had never seen before.

"Arthur…I know you've probably messed around with Francis, and you might even go further over the break, but don't give him your heart, okay? Save that for someone who really loves you."

Arthur could only nod, though it hurt him very much to hear such words from the very boy he wished he could entrust with his love.

"What if that someone never comes?" Arthur couldn't help but ask. Alfred shoved a hand in the pocket of his too-big rugby jacket, a bashful, utterly endearing smile on his face. He turned to look out the windows, watching the flurries of snow stick to the warm glass and melt silently away.

"Don't worry about that. The hero always comes in the end," Alfred said, slowly meeting Arthur's eyes with his own amused blue ones. Arthur gave the taller boy a fond smile before collecting his books once more.

"I'll keep my heart safe for him until he does, then, only if you're so certain he'll come," Arthur said. As he passed Alfred, the other boy caught his hand for the briefest of seconds, and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"I'm really scared, but I'm going to figure this out, okay?" Alfred whispered. Arthur returned the pressure on his hand, gently entwining their fingers for the briefest of moments, and gave his best friend a bright smile.

"You're the bravest person I know, and also the most reckless. It's too cold out there to go without a hat and coat. Do try to take care of yourself while I'm not here to nag, won't you?"

Alfred gave him a grateful nod and let go of his hand. "Have a fun holiday, Arthur."

Their eyes still drawn to each other's like magnets, Arthur smiled once more. "You too, Alfred, and Happy Christmas."

"Merry Christmas," Alfred replied softly. Outside the windows, the flurries settled in the branches of the trees, and in the nooks and crannies of the old buildings, gentle and quiet as they blanketed the world in white.

'It's going to be a very good Christmas this year,' Alfred thought with a smile. His hat felt warm against his ears, and his hand tingled pleasantly where Arthur's hand had been. He couldn't say what was different, only that his heart felt a little like a bird that had finally been set free from a very small cage.

A/N: This is a super short chapter, and I apologize for that, but I didn't think this fit with the previous chapter, and I didn't want it tacked onto the beginning of the next, so here it is—just a little scene before all the boys go their separate ways for two weeks. This might be the last update from me for a week or so. Apparently, I have to do work before they'll pay me.

Oh, and I got some really helpful reviews with stuff about suggestions about how I'm portraying Ivan and Yao, and I think you'll better understand where I'm going with them after the holidays. I know they haven't seemed to really be part of the main story, but that will change soon, and their side plot won't seem so random.