Hey okay first thing first: I'm SOOOOOO sorry it's taken me so long to update. :( I've been working on my other story, and it took me a while to get this chapter going. I promise to try and speed up the updates, I'll try and get another one up this week, but if I don't it probably won't be till next-mid week. I'm getting my wisdom teeth out this Friday, so I'll probably be like GRRRR for the weekend or at least Friday and Saturday. Sorry :( But, the next chapter is here now, and it's a long one; to make up for the long wait.

Okay next. Just wanted say a giant THANKS! to all who reviewed and/or set Out of the Frying Pan and Into the Fire as a favorite, and/or set an alert. So THANKS! :) This includes…

KenzieKAT

Twilightlover4eternity

vampaddiction

Xoembryloveox

Dustyrose03

I took the night12

Team-LaPush-Werewolves

.Progessor-Giggles - by the way love your name XD

THANKS! This made my day :), typing all these names.

So…oh yah I only own Rowan, darn, 'cause if I did own Twilight, then I would made sure Embry and Seth had an imprint.

Okay well on with chapter 2.

Previously

I could feel myself shutting down. I'd let myself feel hope; let myself dream, so this is what I get. Slowly the numb feeling enveloped me, cutting off everything.

Why should she remember me? It's been ten years since we've last talked. It's obvious she's grown up and gotten married. She's got a life.

I heard her gasp. "Rowan?"

I froze. Simple as that.

Now what?

Slowly, all most psychotically, I could feel my mouth twist into a smile. My hand waved a bit.

"Hey Emily." A voice, not mine, spoke. It was filled with fake happiness, fake surprise, fake everything. It was like I wasn't home, like someone else was running me, talking for me. Inside I was numb, completely cut off from the world. I was in a fog, seeing and hearing everything, but it wasn't registering.

"Rowan? What are you doing here? How did you get here?" she question, concerned.

Her concern just went right through me; I was hollow, just like before. "Awesome way to say hi to someone you haven't seen ten years." Whoever was speaking was happy, joking; it wasn't me.

"I'm glad to see you, but how did you get here?"

"Um…there's this new thing they came out with a while back. It's called a plane and it can fly really fast."

She sorta just stared at me. Whoever was running me whispered 'shock', but I couldn't care. It just wasn't happening.

"Well come on in, before you get even more soaked, if that's even possible."

The fake me, glanced down and grinned, laughing a bit. "Kay,"

Like a robot I followed her in, kicking my shoes off outside. What I saw in the living room made me freeze, and whoever was running me retreat back. The expressionless façade I usually wore returned. There was five HUGE guys, both tall and muscle wise. They all looked the guy who'd answered the door: tan, close cropped black hair, brown eyes, and hot. All of 'em turned to stare at me, and I looked at the ground, shifting so my hair fell in my face. I saw Emily glance at me, then at the group of guys.

"Rowan these are some of our friends. I'll introduce y'all later. You need to go take a shower, and warm up. You're shivering really bad."

I glanced up, suspicious, and surprised. She actually would let me take a shower? Then down at me, to see my arms, which were crossed across my chest, were shaking really bad.

"Come on, I'll show you where it is." She gently pulled towards a set of stairs. I glanced at her, asking her if she was sure. She nodded, and I reluctantly followed her upstairs. "There's towels, soap and shampoo under the sink. Take as long as you want." She smiled at me, then turned to go back downstairs. I stood there for a second before going into the bathroom, and shutting and locking the door. Carefully I set my bag down, then slid to the floor with my back against the wall. I hugged my knees to my chest, shaking, but not from the cold that was settled like concrete in my bones.

I couldn't believe she'd remembered me, let alone let me in her house. 'Course I hadn't exactly told her anything. Yet still…she hadn't cussed me out or hit me or slammed the door in my face. No she'd done the exact opposite. She'd let me in her home, was letting me take a shower. Was nice to me.

For now at least. You never know, *insert emotionless shrug here* People are really good at hiding what they're really like. Unfortunately I can vouch for that statement.

"You worthless piece of shit! Why the hell are you an ungrateful little bitch?" I saw something flicker out of the corner of my eye, then felt his fist connect with my jaw. Skin connecting with skin was all I felt as I fell to the ground. The numb that had consumed me a few years ago kept the pain at bay, it registered, but I just couldn't feel it. Slowly, I pushed myself onto all fours, only to have his foot slam into my chest. I felt something crack, and all the air whooshed out of me. I fell back to the ground, before getting back up. He threw cuss after cuss, punch after punch, but I never felt anything. They just flew through me like I was nothing.

That's 'cause you are. You're nothing. You're always nothing and always will be.

I think the little voice in my head cut deeper than anything my dad said or did. 'Cause he was just another person, he was just another lump of flesh and blood, my flesh and blood. But this little voice, the one that danced around in my head, whispering about how everything he said was true. Every depressing or abusive thought I had was true. This was me, some other part of me that had accepted that everything I'd been told for eight years was true.

"Are you listenin to me bitch?" I slammed into the coffee table, and a flicker in the back of my head told me I'd cut myself on corner. I felt something warm run down the side of my face, before I could move, not that I really cared if I did. I felt something shatter against my head, and heard something smash at the same time. More blood trickled down my face, and I glanced up to see him smirking down at me. Something connected with my face, and I felt my blood begin to gush out of my nose: his foot. I heard his heavy steps stomp around me, and him drop onto the couch, it screeching under his weight. Out of the corner of my eye I saw him rest his crossed feet on the table that held some of my blood on one corner. The TV came on, and a show began to blare. Slowly I got up, and scurried out of the way, my bare feet getting cut on the remains of the beer bottle that lay scattered on the floor.

My breath was shaking as the memory receded back, leaving its owner disheveled, and on the verge of a panic attack. I swallowed the clump of clay that had formed in my throat, and pushed myself up. It itched at me, pulling at me. I tried to ignore it, as I stripped. It clawed at me, hungry.

No, no more. I came here for a fresh start.

I hopped in the shower, blasting it as hot as it will go. I closed my eyes, letting the hot water burn away all the thoughts that had raced through me the past few days. It still scratched at me; I wanted nothing more that to let it, the monster that controlled me, out. To let it commit the act it wanted, but I was determined to keep it in.

Coming here, means leaving everything behind. Even you

I washed up, making sure not to let my nails drag on my skin, knowing it'd only tempt me even more. I avoided looking at myself as much as I could, but I grimaced every time I caught a glance. Bruises, ranging from sickly yellow, dark purple, to blue going on black roamed over my arms, legs and chest. Scars, old and new, dotted me; the water caused even the oldest to become visible. I flinched at some of the memories they brought up; the urge growing stronger with each one. Determined to keep my promise, I shut the water off and wrapped a towel around me. I peeked out, before drying off and pulling out some clothes from my bag. I pulled on the old pair of jeans, and faded long-sleeve t-shirt that had '$2 Ninja Costume' written on the front. I glanced in the mirror and grimaced again. There was a yellow bruise on my jaw and the remnants of a shiner remained. My cheek was still a slight purple, though it'd be gone in a few days. A scar ran along my hairline for a few inches; that was my newest, though it was a couple weeks old. My father knew only to leave bruises on my face and neck, knowing that I could cover them. But he still gave me a few scars, knowing I would lie. Pulling my make-up out I dabbed it on, rubbing it in till you couldn't see the bruises, for the most part. There was still a trace, but 8 years of lying would kick in if someone asked. Despite the makeup, I still looked dead. The shower had helped bring some color back, and I looked more like a normal person, but still…

Double checking myself, I tossed the make up back in the bag, and cautiously peeked out. Closing the door again, I leaned against it, taking deep breaths. It itched at me, clawed at me, so hungry. My fingers twitched, wanting to calm it. Knowing if I stayed in here I'd commit something I'd promised to stop. So taking a deep breath, grabbing my bag, I opened the door and cautiously went downstairs. The guys were still on the couch, all attention on the TV until I came down. Looking at the ground, feeling the blood creep into my face, I pulled my sleeves down farther, and scurried into the kitchen.

"Hey." Emily smiled at me, turning from the stove.

I stifled a gasp, when I noticed the three scars that ran down the side of her face. I hadn't noticed them before, though how I didn't I'm not sure, but now I did. They stretched all the way, pulling the corner of her mouth up into a permanent small smile. I glanced away quickly, smiled a bit, and warily sat at the table. When had that happened? What had happened? I urged the numb feeling to come back, to take me over and make me alive.

"Feel better?"

I nodded.

"Why don't you toss your clothes in the wash, then come back here. I'm almost done, and if you want food, you'll have to beat the guys, so hurry up."

In a few minutes I was back in the kitchen, toying with the edge of my sleeve. The clawing was still there, but knowing that if I did give into the urge I wouldn't be able to stop.

"Is…is there anything I can do to help?" I asked quietly.

"Nope. I'm done actually." She came and sat at the table with me. "Are you hungry?"

I shook my head. Lie. I was starving; I can't remember the last time I'd eaten, well really eaten anyway.

"Did I hear you say done?" One of the guy's popped his head in, a joking gleam in his eyes that were locked on the mountain of food. Dear lord was she feedin a freakin army?

Emily laughed, and nodded.

"Yes!" He cheered, and came barreling in followed by the others. Pretty soon the mountain had disappeared, having become mini mountains on the guy's plates. I watched, slightly intrigued how they all pretty much inhaled their food in a matter of minutes.

"Oh. Rowan these are friends of ours, obviously. This is Quil, Jared, Paul, Seth, and you already know my fiancé Sam. Everyone this is my cousin Rowan." There were a chorus' of hey's or what were supposed to be hey's. It's apparently really hard to talk when you have half a pound of food stuffed in your mouth. "Embry will be here later so you'll meet him then."

I nodded, and stared at the table. One of the guys came and sat across from us. "So what you doing out here? Emily didn't mention anyone comin?"

"Quil," Sam growled, and slapped him on the head.

The muscles on my face twisted into a smile; the previous controller coming back. "I'd thought I'd surprise Emily, by coming to visit for a bit. I haven't seen her since I was like 6, so I figured why not." I shrugged, well the other me shrugged. I'd retreated back, letting the other whoever it was take over, making my story more convincing by giving it life. (So from now on whenever I say 'I' I mean the person running me. Starting now.)

"If that's kay with you. I know I just kinda showed up out of nowhere, so it's fine if it's not a good time." I nodded to Emily and Seth.

She smiled, "Of course it is. You have no idea how glad I am to see you. I can't believe how much you've grown; even now you make me feel old." She grinned at the private joke between us. (I smiled a bit, remembering the good times, before everything changed.)

"Yeah, when I got on the plane to come here, I was like oh, maybe calling would have been a good idea, cause she may not even live there anymore." I chuckled.

"So how long you plannin on bein here?"

"Quil." Emily reached over and slapped him on the arm, "Rowan can stay here as long as she wants."

I chuckled as he ducked his head a bit, though I could see the grin on his face.

"Actually, I'm on spring break, so I can only stay til the end of the week. (Hey, depressing, emotionless me again, actually I only have a week to figure out what the heck I'm gonna do. 'Cause I cannot, and I repeat cannot go back. Soooo….yeah a week to figure out what's goin to happen for the rest of my life, or at least til I'm 18. And my time frame is shrinkin every second. Alright, so umm…bye.) I'll just go stay in Port Angeles or something, then come visit. Again if that's okay with you?"

"Of course it's fine. But you're staying here," Emily told.

I shook my head, "No I can't do that-"

"No, you're staying here and that's final." She got up, and took her plate to the sink.

"No, I can't."

"Look, you're my cousin, your family, so that means you is staying here, and that's final." She turned from the sink, hands on hips.

I opened my mouth to protest, saying I could go stay in Port Angeles or if they had a motel in Forks. Until I saw the stubborn gleam in her eyes recognizing it from when we were younger.

"You sure?"

She nodded firmly.

Reluctantly I agreed.

"Good." She turned back to the sink, and the clank of dished could now be heard as the guys had retreated back to the living room. I got up, and began drying the dishes off, and attempted to put them away. Keyword: attempted. Every new dish was followed by the quickly getting old where does this go? Twenty minutes had passed and we were done, so Emily decided to show me the guest room. I followed her, bag in hand, up the stairs and into a light blue room. There was a small bed in the center, a dresser, and a nightstand that had a lamp on it.

"It's not much-"

"It's awesome. Thanks for lettin me stay here Em." I gave her a quick one armed hug. (Yeah, even the I'm totally normal, fine me can't hug.)

"We're family remember." She waved it off as nothing. "I'll leave you to get settled, call if you need something. And Rowan, I'm really glad you're here." She closed the door, and I heard her footsteps go back down the stairs.

Helllllo world, depressed me is back and ready to go…or preferably not. I went and sat on the bed, noticing it had white seats with a dark blue comforter. I pulled my knees up, resting the edges of my feet on the edge of the bed. I stared out the window, looking at the woods that could be seen from it. Was this really happening? Course I hadn't told her anything, but still… I need to tell her, well I sorta have to before the week ends. Maybe I should just come out and say it now, give me a couple days head start if I need it. Yeah, I need to tell her today, better to just come out, stead of beatin round the bush. Plus if she goes berserko, at least I still have a few days before he notices I'm not home. But what if she does go nuts, what if she's like him? Maybe a normal day wouldn't be so bad…a day. Just a day, to be normal, or as normal as the "clone" is. No, today, that's it. I…gotta, no need to tell. Maybe I can just go talk to a tree or something? Oooo or maybe a rock, I could get a pet rock and tell it everything. God I'm going crazy, sorry folk's debating and anxiety make me act like an idiot. I will try to keep it non ADD. With a sigh, and before I could change my mind, I stood up. Digging in my bag, I pulled out a rubber band and threw my hair up into a ponytail. Hmmm maybe I'd cut it soon, new place new look right?

I went back downstairs, each step making the determination waver just a bit. By the bottom step, it was swiss cheese. It started growling, still hungry, but I pushed it back. The boys were still in the living room, arguing about something. Skirting around them, I found Emily in the kitchen with Sam, kissing. Oh… talk about awkwardville. Bad anxiety. I was about to turn around, and just sneak back upstairs, my determination hanging on by a tiny thread, when they broke apart, noticing me.

"Sorry," I mumbled, and turned around.

"No, it's fine. Trust me with them around we're used to it," Sam chuckled.

I stared at the ground, shifting back and forth, each step feeling like it would break the string what determination I had left. The growling got stronger as it pulled at me, hungry, begging now.

A battle raged in me, to tell or not. Years of abuse were screaming, yelling at me to not say anything. Paranoia joined it's side, arguing that Emily could be like him; that this nice act could be just that, an act, and eventually I'd see the true side of her. The logicalish one was saying that if she is like him at least you'd get a day's head start on him. This little tiny voice was squeaking that Emily was still Emily and that everything would be alright.

Now imagine a bunch of cute little cartoon characters/groups arguing at each other. Then they all stop suddenly; turn to stare at this little guy that makes you go AWWW. And the two groups shout bullshit as loud as they can, then continue fighting.

That is the image that popped in my head for some reason. It's like some weirdo super kiddie version of the battle that was slowly shattering me.

It got worse, screaming, howling to be fed. The impulse was almost unbearable; I forced my legs to stay glued to the floor, using what the last stread of will-power and control I had left not to run. Screw telling Emily, my mind was focused only on staying here, as it urged me to-

-NO. Don't say the word, don't even think it.

A deep shuddering breath left me in a huff.

"Is something wrong Rowan?" Emily asked, concerned, coming towards me a bit.

My eyes, of their own free will, glanced at Sam for a second, before returning to examining the ground "Ummm….yeah? I-I was just wonderin …can I talk to yah upstairs?" I mumbled, totally positive at the rate my heart was going I'd be dead in a few minutes.

She nodded, and motioned for me to head upstairs, and as I walked away I could see her whisper something to Sam.

Oh crap, she knows. She's tellin him to get him and his buddies to make sure I don't try and run away or something, while she beats the crap out of me.

Run.

Sure I was going to get pulled back by someone any second, then get the living crap beat out of me. I walked, quickly, but not enough to make the guys look at me funny, to the door. My hand was reaching for the handle, when it flew open.

BANG.

Crap.

I fell back, and put my hand to my face, feeling my nose, and the blood that started dripping from it. The familiar recognition went off in my head, the only signal of pain I got.

"Oh. I'm sorry-" The guy-another carbon copy of the rest- stopped and stared at me, a funny look on his face. I could feel everyone's eyes on us, and I shifted uncomfortably, well the best I could on the ground. The blood rushed to my face, and I wished I hadn't put my hair up.

I got up, wiping the blood away. "Skay," I muttered. Emily came running over, the sudden movement causing me to flinch away.

"Are you okay? I'm sorry. I didn't see you, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. I'm sorry," the dude blabbed.

"I'm fine, it's nothin," I shrugged him off, though it came out muffled because of my sleeve covering my nose. Shuffling to the kitchen, I grabbed some paper towels, ran them under some water, and wiped more blood off, though it was mostly dry now. Luckily the door hadn't hit me too hard, just enough to crush something. Throwing the destroyed towels in the garbage, I ran my sleeve under the sink, trying to get as much blood out.

The embarrassment made the compulsion grow; I fought it, taking deep breaths, trying to calm it.

I can't do anything right, he was right; I'm just a worthless piece of shit. That's it, nothing else.

"Rowan?" Emily asked.

Taking a deep breath, I felt all emotion leave me, going numb. (Bye y'all)

"Huh? Oh yeah, I'm fine." I smiled, wiping my hand over my nose again. "Do I still got blood?"

They all kinda stared at me funny, 'cept the guy who hit me with a door. He looked like he was on cloud 9. What was his problem? Maybe he gets a kick out of hitting people with doors?

"What? Dang thought I got rid of it all," I wiped my hand over my nose, then looked at it to see if there was any blood on it. None.

"Are you sure your okay? You got hit pretty hard," Sam asked.

I waved my hand dismissively. "Yeah, I'm fine. Trust me I'm a klutz, so I'm used to it. So this ain't nothin. Ask Em, you wouldn't believe how many times I tripped over air while I was here. Put the most klutzy people to shame." I rambled.

Emily sighed jokingly, "Unfortunately I can't disagree."

"Is she as bad as Bella?" One of them, Quil-95% sure- asked.

"That's not possible, no one can be bad as her," another one said, Paul I think.

I chuckled, "Wanna bet?"

"I'm sorry Rowan, but even though I love Bella, she's worse than you," Emily smiled, "Oh yeah, Rowan, Embry. Embry, this is my cousin Rowan."

I waved like an idiot, and glanced up at him.

Hello?

The compulsion came back along with everything else the original paranoid, slightly ADD me, 'cept when I risked a glance into his eye's, it all disappeared. Except the numb feeling didn't come back, it's just everything seemed fine, for once.

What the heck?

So…good, bad? Love, Hate? What? If it seems confusing for any reason, just send me a message, and I'll try and work on it.

Please review.