Hey, y'all just wanted to give a giant thanks to the people who added the story to their alerts. This includes…

Dancer96

Lauresh

ChiyukiLuvs2Glomp

Mackenzie L.

Sadly, though I got a lot of hits, I got no reviews :( Though I think I deserve it for taking so long to update, so I'll try and update sooner from now on. I'm not gonna be one of them people who won't update til they get so many reviews, but please try and review even if it's only a few words.

Previously

I waved like an idiot, and glanced up at him.

Hello?

The compulsion came back along with everything else the original paranoid; slightly ADD me, 'cept when I risked a glance into his eye's, it all disappeared. Except the numb feeling didn't come back, it's just everything seemed fine, for once.

What the heck?

It seemed like forever, when it was probably only a few seconds, before I looked away. I yanked the rubber band out of my hair letting my hair fall in my face, which was on fire by the way. I heard chuckles, which made my face get even redder, if that was even possible. I tugged at my sleeves out of habit, and bit my bottom lip.

Too many people, I need to get away. Need to-

No. No more. Don't matter how bad, I can deal without.

"Alright boy's that's enough." Emily shooed them back into the living room, and I quickly glanced at…Embry (?). He was still staring at me, but a shy smiled replaced it when he caught my look. I ducked my head again, and focused on the floor, shifting uncomfortably, trying to ignore the urge that stirred in me. Wait a second? It was gone. Poof, vamoose, adios amigos. I stifled a gasp, yes I know major reaction to simple thing, but it hadn't left me alone in almost three years, always calling. Now it wasn't there, wasn't begging, wasn't anything.

"Umm…hey?" A voice said near me.

With a glance up, I jumped back, knocking against the counter. When'd he move so close? Sorrow passed across his face, along with concern.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

Staring at the ground, though I was still able to watch him from behind the sheet of hair, I half-shrugged. Moving away from him to go stand near the table, I fidgeted with my sleeve, as I tried to figure out where the urge went; not that I was complaining or anything. I toyed with a piece of silverware that was still on the table, spinning it in circles.

"Soo…your Emily's cousin?" he asked.

I nodded.

"So…are you from here?"

I nodded.

"So then…"

"I moved away when I was five," I mumbled.

"Oh…"

We stood in awkward silence for a while, til Emily spoke,

"Rowan, did you still want to go upstairs and talk?"

I glanced at her, unsure, still wary of her, of everything. Taking a deep breath, and going out on a very, tiny limb I nodded.

She smiled reassuringly, and I followed her upstairs, feeling Embry's eyes on me the whole way. As soon as I was upstairs, the urge came back, and I froze for second, almost taken back by the force. Like I said it hadn't left me alone in a few years, so it disappearing then coming back was a little bit of a shock. Stopping for a quick glance in the bathroom mirror to see if any bruises were showing from when I washed away the blood. Thankfully none of the makeup had come off, enough to show anyway. The urge growled as it recognized the bathroom, and what it usually meant. Trying to tune it out, I followed Emily into the guest room I was staying in. The single hair of willpower I had left seemed to tear in half as I closed the door. Taking a deep breath, I carefully watched Emily as I gestured for her to sit down and she obliged.

The fight had started up again, and I tried to get rid of the very childish image of the little cartoon people fighting out of my head. Pulling my sleeves down, I leaned against the door. My heart was racing so fast, I sure it'd was gonna be dead on the floor in ten seconds. I wiped my hands on my jeans, trying to stay calm…ish.

"What'd you want to talk about?" Emily asked.

"Ummmm….I….I…um sorta…yeah."

She raised an eyebrow, silently, but jokingly, mocking me.

The urge snarled, trying to use any excuse to get what it wanted. Trying to push it to the back of my mind, attempting to focus on now, I took a deep breath and let it out in a huff.

"Rowan what's wrong?" Emily got up and came towards me.

I flinched, and waved her away.

"Ummm… I hate to ask this…but I sorta… need to stay here for more…more than a week." I muttered in a rush.

"It's fine. Of course you can stay here, as long as you need. Can I ask why?"

Examining the floor, I scratched at the dried blood on my sleeve.

"Rowan, what's going on?"

"Um…uhhh. It's just…I… ummm." Come on, just say it. It's not that hard. Just freakin say it. Letting out a sigh followed by another deep breath, I wrapped my arms around my waist and leaned harder against the door. "I need…to…" Another sigh. "It's just…dad. He ummm…he started drinkin after…yeah."

I heard my cousin gasp and the urge tugged at me, and I was about to run to the bathroom, but I repeated my promise over and over.

"Did…did he ever do anything when he drank?" she asked.

The ground was obviously very interesting cause I've been staring at it since I got in here. Finding little patterns in the wood helped quiet the screaming, and I-

"Rowan?"

"Huh?"

"Did he ever…"

Catching the unsaid question I quickly shook my head. "No…nothing like that. He…uh…he just got real mad…and drunk…obviously." I smirked a bit, though it held nothing. The urge was getting stronger, I was about to break my promise right here in front of Emily. Though her question helped me stop.

"Did he ever…hit you?"

I continued my usual routine of looking at the ground, so ready to stampede down the stairs, out the front door and into the woods, never looking back. Maybe I could become a wild kid, or something. Live off the land, steal out of garbage cans…maybe even terrorize a few people. Hehehe that'd be kinda funny.

"Rowan," she whispered sharply. I flinched at her tone, and tensed out of habit, ready for a beating. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you, but…did he ever beat you?" she told, concern in her voice.

The worry seemed genuine, but one couldn't be too careful. Still… Come one say it idiot. Just come out and say, the worst she could do is call him. And I'd hopefully get a day's head start on him if she did. Taking a deep breath, I opened my mouth to answer her, but nothing came out. My mouth opened and closed, but my vocal cords were locked. The urge was shattering me, so hell-bent on getting its prize. In a flash I shakily lifted my shirt up a bit, revealing a collage of bruises ranging from a sickly yellow to dark purple easily mistaken for black. Results of me being "a complete waste of space and being nothing but an ungrateful piece of shit," and the few six packs my dad had brought home a week ago.

I heard a gasp, and flinched. Risking a glance, I looked up, and saw Emily, standing, with her hand over her mouth, tears starting to form. I looked down, shame washing over me, while at the same time wishing the numbness would come back, and block out everything.

"I'm sorry," I whispered to the floor, begging for the numbness to come back, and smother the urge…at least a little bit.

Footsteps stopped in front of me, and I shrank farther against the door, wishing I hadn't backed myself in a corner.

"Rowan?" Emily asked, cautiously.

I lifted my head a bit to let her know I was listening, while my eyes darted around, looking for an escape route. Door? Nope guy's downstairs. Window? Maybe, I'd probably end up breaking my leg or something. Now what? There's always a way out Rowan, I told myself.

Out of the corner of my eye, a hand reached for me, and I cringed away, tensing ready for a slap or something. It stopped, and I peeked out from my sheet of hair to see sympathy locked in Emily's eyes. Anger started to leak into me. I don't need her pity. I don't need anyone's pity, I've lived on my own, survived you could say all by myself, for eleven years. Pity was the last thing I wanted, all I wanted was….I don't know. Insert mental sigh.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, choking back a hiccup used to disguise a sob.

"Don't be," I growled, then felt bad for being so harsh. "Sorry," I mumbled. God I was so messed up, years of abuse will do that to yeah people.

"No, you probably don't want pity do you?" she asked.

I shook my head, "Preferably not," I muttered.

She nodded, then let out a deep breath. "Do you want to call the police?"

I shook my head. "No." I just wanna leave everything behind.

I saw her nod then back up a bit. I let out a giant breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding in a huff. "Are…are yah mad?" I ventured quietly.

"No. Why would I be?"

I shrugged emotionlessly. My stomach twisted threatening to lurch, as it got angrier. I bit the inside of my mouth determined to keep whatever was in my stomach down which meant just a bunch of air.

I heard the bed creak, and looked up to see Emily a few tears trailing down her face.

Oh crap. Crying is not a department I'm smart in. I moved towards her a bit, unsure of what to do. Staring at the floor, I shifted unsure of what to do. I reached out and cautiously put my hand on her shoulder. She jumped before smiling at me and wiping away the tears that still remained.

"Sorry," she smiled, and I pulled my hand away. "Just remembering before you moved away. Remember when you tried to swim to the bottom of the ocean and you scared me, thinking you'd drowned or something."

The corners of my mouth pulled a bit. "Yeah, you went nuts when I came up. Thought you'd seen a UFO or somethin'," I whispered letting the memory try and sooth the shame and anxiety I had. Something in my clicked, and for some reason I was sure, for the most part, that Emily wouldn't hurt me. No woman had hurt me before, even though that she could be the first, no one had given me a reason to distrust woman.

"Can I ask you one more thing?" she asked.

"Why'd you choose to tell? I thought , no offense of anything, but I thought people who go through what you did didn't tell."

"Oh…yeah ummm….funny…you should mention that," I muttered. Taking a deep breath, I tried to come up with a way to explain without sounding rude or somethin' "I figured….if yah didn't want me or something…or if you decided to call my dad…that'd at least I could get a few days start on him or something." I shrugged, embarrassed.

"Oh. Rowan I'm going to tell you right now that I would never do anything to hurt you. Your my cousin and I would never ever hurt you. Okay?"

I studied her for a bit, seeing the determination etched into her, along with concern and something else, but it seemed okay, it seemed safe? I guess. Still I couldn't tell her anything else, I left that behind, and it's going to stay back there.

What'd yall think? Good/Bad? Tell me what you guys think, I'm not a mind reader, unfortunately. Unlike some people *cough* Edward *cough*

I will try and speed up the updates, but no promises. Sorry, just found out flunked a project, and need to redo it, and gotta redo two tests. I hate chemistry. :P

Please review.