Pot of Gold

'Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction.' Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Wind, Sand and Stars, 1939.

Dear Diary,

Figgins wants to cut the school musical! He can't just cut the musical. Sue's pompom budget is $4000. Our budget is half that. I'm making half the costumes myself and Shannon has been welding the set together. Will said he would speak to Figgins. I don't have the energy to confront him right now. My parents' visit has made me relapse. I got up at 5am this morning to wash the kitchen floor and vacuum before work. All Will said was 'I hate waking up without you beside me.' I was late leaving for work because I couldn't stop washing my hands. Then I had to go back inside and throw the mop in the bin. I didn't want it sitting in the house all day spreading its germs. Will can only see the compulsions, he can't hear the obsessive thoughts running through my head. Thoughts that won't leave me alone. Exposure is terrifying me again. Will suggested he could come to my next therapy session with me, if I wanted – he said, 'We can multiply your strength by the power of two.' I said 'Thank you, but let me think about it.' Am I ready to be made naked in front of him?

Dear Diary,

Mercedes delivered a harsh blow to Glee Club this week. She joined Shelby's choir. I don't know what happened to Mercedes over the summer, but she's returned to school with an attitude problem.

Will really has become a man of action. He refused to let WSS be stopped. He initially got the kids brainstorming and raising money for it until he bumped into Burt Hummel who solved the problem by asking three funeral parlour directors to support the school musical. I guess Ohio, must have an ageing population to warrant three funeral parlours. The play is back on. Will asked me if I thought Burt would be interested in running against Sue. I said, 'Well, he is a man of the people. There's only one way to find out. Ask him.'

Dear Diary,

Good news and bad news. The good news is Burt really wants to run. He said, Will's Glee club saved Kurt's life and he has total belief in the arts and is against everything Sue says. Will said he wants to be Burt's campaign manager. I said, 'Go for it and if Burt wants to fix your muffler, say no…. it's your signature piece.'

The bad news is Brittany and Santana have left Glee Club. They've formed a group called The Troubletones. Will said they're big trouble for New Directions: Sex appeal, voices, dancing. What is wrong with these kids? Can't they see how devoted Will is to them? Rory, an Irish exchange student has joined the club. At the rate the girls are departing Glee Club, maybe Will will end up with an all male choir. Will said he thinks Britney believes Rory is a leprechaun.

I said, 'Are you sure she and Santana aren't messing with him?'

'Emma, she believes in Santa Claus.'

I nodded. 'You know, maybe Britney's way of escaping reality is to believe in make- believe creatures or people.'

'Isn't that a bit childish?'

'Think about it Will. We all need an escape from reality sometimes, when life or people get too much to cope with. Maybe for some it's alcohol or drugs, for others it's dancing, or fictional worlds on TV or in movies, or in books. '

Will looked pensive and nodded. 'You're right. Last year when I thought I'd lost you….I drank too much. What about you? What's your escape?'

'My escape, from my OCD, from the time I was little, has always been Disney animations.'

'Because they depict a perfect world?'

'Yes. And romantic – OCD is very unromantic'

Will drew me to him. ' A world in which Cinderella gets her prince.'

I smiled. 'Yes. And lives happily ever after.'

'You make me feel like your knight in shining armour.'

'Hmm, handsome, charming, strong…you fit the requirements.'

'I don't have a horse….'

'You have a car…'

We kissed.

'You know there are days I wake up thinking it's too hard but then I see you lying beside me. My motivation is you, creating a life with you. Will you come to my next therapy session?'

'I thought you'd never ask.'

'Thank you.'