Sorry, it took me longer to update :( Been busy, homework and crap.

Hey, okay first thing first, just want to say a giant thanks to all who reviewed, favorited or alerted the story. This includes…

Zoe

Munchkin Jeeves

Xoembryloveox -not sure why you can't review, but thanks for the messages. :)

And finally giant, huge thanks to jades113for reviewing every chapter and the constructive criticism. :)

And now on with the next chapter.

Previously

He looked unconvinced, but didn't say anything else. Keeping an eye on him, I slipped out the door. Letting out a deep breath, my heart racing, I sat on the edge of the porch. Rain dripped on me occasionally running down my neck to my back, but it felt good. As soon as I'd left him, everything had settled back to normal, as normal as it gets anyway, but still the rain was soothing.

Now what?

I stood in the woods, rain drizzling, as usual. Despite the rain though, everything was peaceful, the urge was there yeah, but I could ignore it. Leaning against a tree, I closed my eyes, letting the calm surroundings cloud my senses. The thought of where the heck I was crossed my mind, but I shrugged it off, figuring I'd find my way back somehow. An unexpected light caused me to open my eyes to see the sun staining to shine through the clouds and leaves.

Okay this is turning into a Kodak moment. Since when has anything in my life been a Kodak moment?

I stiffened when I felt a pair of eyes on me, and look around, trying to find the owner. A giant knot twisted my stomach, and fear made its way up and down my spine. Turning, I just caught a glimpse of something stirring behind a nearby tree.

Crap. Is it Dad? Did he find me? What if it's him? I'm dead. So dead, like beaten to unrecognizable then left for the bears gonna find only my bones dead. Okay, maybe I exaggerated just a bit, seen a little too much Criminal Minds and CSI, but hey if there's people weird enough to think of that stuff, shouldn't there be actual crazy people like that? Example A: Jack the Ripper or example B: the Clown Killer.

There are crazy people in this world 'folks.

A hand grabbed my shoulder, whipping me around. Only it wasn't my dad. A guy with short brown hair and extremely pale skin smirked at me, glaring me up and down with crimson red eyes.

Ummm….Red?

Attempting to rip out of his gasp was like trying to rip out of concrete. The peaceful air was gone sending the urge back in full force. A shiver ran through me at the contact, though it wasn't just from the coldness of his skin. Starting to feel panic twist my stomach, knowing a freak out attack thingy was coming on. I pulled my fist back to punch the guy, but in a flash he'd grabbed it, twisting it 'til a SNAP sounded.

A bell went off.

No the loud snap didn't clue me in thank you, I thought sarcastically.

The guy's gaze snapped to behind me, and, being the idiot I am, glanced over my shoulder. A bunch of giant wolves stood near the tree line, snarling and growling. Okay there were only 3, but these things were gigantic.

The guy smiled though it was cold, and his eyes locked back on me before he bit, yes bit, my wrist. I stared at him, completely dumbfounded, before someone lit me on fire. Pain coursed through me. No not some bell ringing in my head actual pain, something I hadn't felt in years. My mouth opened, but the scream was stuck in my throat; just like every other time.

Snarling and growling erupted around me, before the pain consumed me.

Jerking awake, gasping I jumped out of bed or rather attempted to jump out of bed. I wasn't exactly planning on the sheets being tangled around my legs, resulting me landing on the floor with oof.

Sitting up, glancing around the room, I realized that it'd been a dream. But that pain had been real, or at least it'd felt like it. Everything had felt real; god look up nightmare in the dictionary and you'd fine that. A shiver ran up my spine, but I ignored it and got up. Tossing the sheets and covers back on, I went to look out the window. This was my usual routine, wake up, then go look out the window; open it if it wasn't raining too bad. It wasn't today, so I cracked it a bit letting the cool air fill the room.

Taking a deep breath I tried to let the air chase away the nightmare. That'd been a freaky one; last time I checked guys didn't have red eyes and randomly bite people. And what was with wolves the size of trucks?

The devil inside me screamed, hungry; I hadn't gone this long without cutting in a while, almost since I'd started. It's Wednesday and I'm 20 days cut free. A small trace of hope made me smile a bit; maybe I can beat this without help. I just have to take it one day at a time.

Grabbing some fresh clothes, my last I noticed, the makeup, and after peeking out the door, I shuffled to the bathroom. Locking the door and stripping, I hopped in the shower, letting the warm water release the tension in my muscles. After washing up, I got out and pulled the clothes on, an old pair of dark blue jeans, and a dark red long-sleeved shirt that some faded now unreadable word on the front. I smiled again when I saw that my face was clear enough to not need any makeup save the one on my jaw, but with a quick swish of makeup that was gone too. I ran my fingers through my hair before pulling it up in a pony-tail, though I had to cover part of a bruise that was showing on the back of my neck near the collar. Looking myself up and down, I actually smiled a bit.

Today was gonna be a good day.

Before I even made it all the way down the stairs, I could hear the guys eating, or at least I hope it was the guys. Sounded like a pack of wolves or something. Sneaking in, I grabbed a plate and tossed some food on it. I noticed a girl I hadn't seen before talking with Emily. She had black hair that went down a little past her shoulders, and was tan just like everyone else. Leaning against the counter, I stared at the ground as I shoved food pretty much down my throat. Feeling his eyes on me, yes I already knew who it was, I shifted uncomfortably, pausing mid-bite.

Taking a deep breath, I looked up to see Embry smile when I caught his gaze. Just like when I'd first met him that same 'everything's okay' feeling flooded me, and I looked away. Yeah I know weird. But it's odd when I don't have that familiar slight paranoia, and at least the slight urge to cut. It just feels so non-normal 'cause it's been there so long that I'm almost addicted to it. Just another problem with me, *sigh*; I think it'd just be easier to tell you what's not wrong with me.

No, not gonna think like that. Today's a good day.

I waved a bit, and his face lit up like a Christmas tree, before turning back to the plate.

"Good morning Rowan," Emily greeted coming to put her plate in the dishwasher next to me.

"Mornin," I gave a small smile.

"Oh, Rowan this is Kim, Jared's girlfriend. Kim this is my cousin Rowan."

Kim smiled and stuck out her hand. "I remember Emily talking about you when we first met. It's nice to finally meet you."

I quickly shook her hand, before folding my arms across my chest again, and looking down. "Nice to meet you too," I mumbled.

"Hey Rowan did you drop something or…" Quil asked mouth half-full.

"Oh…umm. I fell," I mumbled, looking at the ground.

He laughed a bit which failed when he started choking.

" 'S what you get," I muttered, taking another bite of eggs.

He glared at me, coughing, while everyone else was chuckling. And I did something that surprised even me. I stuck my tongue out at him; I know mature right. Oh crap, maybe that wasn't a good idea. Would he get mad? Would he-

Any idea that involved me and a busted mouth soon dissolved as he chuckled, and stuck his tongue out too. And I thought I was immature.

After putting my plate in the dishwasher, I wrapped my arms around myself, watching the guys. Standing there my mind didn't have a distraction which meant the dream started replaying. Unconsciously I shivered as I remembered his touch, and the pain, not the best dream in the world.

Just your imagination. No one has red eyes and there ain't wolves the size of mini F-150's in the world last time I checked. But what do I know?

"Hey, you okay?" someone whispered next to me.

I jumped, knocking a bunch of pans on the counter behind me over, when I noticed it was Embry. I blushed when everyone turned to stare at me, and hurried to restack the pans.

"Sorry," I mumbled, and hurried into the living room, sitting on the bottom stair.

See, you can't do anything right bitch. You can't go one day without doing something wrong you worthless piece of shit. The voice cut, hacking me to pieces. It went on and on, copying my dad word for word, only it wasn't his tone that was slowly battering me to nothing. It was mine.

"Rowan?" Embry's voice stopped the internal beating, and I looked up to see him standing near me, concern on his face.

Anger started to bubble at his concern, but it went away when I glanced in his eyes. Just like before everything went away, except this time I didn't look away right away.

"Huh?" was the only viable response I got out. Why the heck was I acting like this? I don't care about boys; trust me that is the last thing on my mind.

He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He was the one who broke eye contact first this time, as he leaned against the wall. Everything came back, but, again, just like before I could ignore the urge, and everything else seemed like an annoying little fly.

"I-I was just….wondering…how are you?" he asked, rubbing the back of his head, though he still stared at me.

Ummmm…okay?

I stared at the ground and shrugged, starting to wish that the little happy me would take over or whatever. Personal questions not my thing, or any questions for that matter.

"So…you fell?" he asked, humor in his voice.

I nodded. "Told yah. Klutz." I pointed to myself, and shifted uncomfortably at his continuous gaze. I guess he noticed-finally! - and I felt his eyes leave me. He laughed, and I wished I was somewhere else. This guy could easily beat me probably til I was dead or dying. What did he want? Was he just toying with me? Laughing 'cause he knew I was abused, and that he could blackmail with me it or something? Crazy, slightly paranoid thoughts ran through my head, as my mind tried to weed out the ones that were too crazy, even for me.

Can anyone say awkward silence?

I was grateful when the boys came trampling in, disrupting the non-existent conversation; not that I'm complaining.

"Hey Embry, come on we gotta go. Lee-left the bike when I came here and I rememberin' you wanting to help with it." Jared said, reluctantly loosening his grip on Kim's waist. He gave her a quick kiss, before she pushed him towards the door. Embry was even more reluctant to move. I felt his gaze return, and heard his slow, pretty deliberate steps as he moved towards the door. The uncomfortable feeling that his staring caused didn't disappear until the door slammed.

Okay someone please explain what the heck is going on. 'Cause I left a totally non-normal house to find someplace that's at least relatively, or even a tiny bit, normal. Yet I can't seem to freakin do that. Okay maybe I set the bar a little too high, but someplace where there aren't giant, muscular dudes with one of them staring at me like I'm the most interesting thing in the world apparently is very hard to find.

I was snapped out of my self-questioning by the door slamming again, and saw that only Sam, and Emily were left in the living room, though I could hear Emily busy in the kitchen.

"So how do you like La Push so far?" Kim asked.

I shrugged. "I like it, it rain's a lot."

She laughed, but it wasn't one of the funny 'bust a gut' laugh, more a 'yeah I know' one.

It was silent after that, and I went into the kitchen to offer Emily some help. As usual she tried to disagree and push me out, but, again, as usual, I ended up drying and putting away. When we were done, it was still sprinkling.

"Can-can I go for a walk?" I asked quietly.

Emily smiled. "Sure, you don't have to ask. Just take a jacket or something, it might start raining harder."

I smiled a bit before running upstairs and grabbing my grey hoodie with skulls on it. After shoving shoes on my feet, I ran downstairs and was almost out the door when Sam called me. I stuck my head back in, still halfway out the door; ready to run.

"Stay out of the woods kay?" he asked.

I nodded, looking at the ground, before slipping back out.

Better not to push my luck with Sam, so I headed towards the beach. Waves crashed along the shore, but aside from that it was quiet. I shivered as a cool breeze came off the ocean, but other than that it was pretty nice out here. Driftwood, large and small, laid randomly up on the beach, like lost souls that'd been left behind. Unlike the beaches I saw on TV, there weren't any bird flying around or anything like that. It was quiet.

Stopping to lean against a large piece of discarded tree, I stared out to sea. The urge was quiet for the most part anyway; there wasn't anything to stir it up. For the first time in eleven years, it felt like everything could be fine, like maybe I could have a somewhat normal life.

Hah, yeah right and maybe the US would pay off the giant debt to China.

"Rowan?"

I jumped as Embry jumped over the log, landing next to me. I scrambled away, heart racing.

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to scare you. I'm sorry. I should have said something or something," he babbled.

I looked at the ground, and shrugged. Shifting from one foot to another, I backed up a bit. Pain crossed his face for a second and my stomach twisted at the sight.

Wait a second, why'd it do that? Bad stomach.

We stood there, awkwardly, as usual. The urge was fighting me again, but this time it was…losing? What the heck? God, like I'm already not messed up enough.

"You shouldn't be out here by yourself," he blurted out, distracting me from the internal…whatever it was.

I raised an eyebrow. Say's who.

He glanced down sheepishly. "I mean you could get hurt and then…no one would find you," he finished lamely.

I shrugged again, but it didn't mean anything. What did he mean by that? Was he gonna beat me 'n' leave me out here? He could, he's big enough. Crap, he's right. I'm out here all alone, he could do anything and there's a good chance I couldn't stop him no matter how hard I fought. Oh my god, I'm dead. He's gonna beat me.

"I-I…uh….I'm sorry. I gotta go." Turning around- even though I despised running away, - I hurried back to Emily's, glancing over my shoulder to see him still standing there. Slowing down, the malnutrition kicked in, making it hard to catch my breath. Thanks Dad. Taking a few deep breaths, I broke back into a run, feeling the urge on my heels. As casually as possible, I slipped inside, to see Emily and Sam curled up on the couch.

"How was your walk?"

"Good," I mumbled, hurrying up the stairs. Closing the door behind me, I locked it and sank to the floor, shirt in death grip. God I wanted to cut so bad; it hurt. I'd messed up, just like always 'cause I can't do anything right. I'm stupid and worthless.

And ain't no one gonna change that.

Good/ Bad? What? Sorry the ending was bad, promise the next chapter will be better, more suspense you could say. It's almost done cause it was originally this chapter, but I thought it moved the story to fast so it will be up soon.

Hey, I know it's kinda later in the story, but I was wondering if you guys think I should put a chapter with Embry's POV's up? Just wondering. Let me know what you think by doing everyone a favor and leaving a review. :)