Chapter 4: Potential

Once school had finished, Kenny ran to the corner shop to put his new ration book to use. Ryuk was barely able to keep up.

"Hi there, little fella. Can I help you?" The cashier asked.

"Hmph. Hm hmph hm hm bm." Kenny said, and handed the cashier the Death Note. He started to flick through the book.

"Raye Penber? Naomi Misora?" The cashier muttered to himself before handing the book back. "Sorry, kid. We don't sell any of those products. In fact, I had a cousin called Raye Penber. He died a few years- AAAAAARRRGGHHH!"

The cashier reached under the counter for the shop's anti-burglary pistol and shot himself in the head with it. Kenny was covered in blood, but he was still alive.

"hm ha hihif" he said as he turned to leave, only to find Ryuk directly in front of him.

"That reminded me of another time I appeared to a guy with a gun. Good times!" Ryuk laughed. "I'm Ryuk, and that Death Note is mine. Since I'm a generous guy, I lend it to those humans I feel would benefit from its use."

"Death Note?" Kenny repeated.

"What's that? You're going to have to take the hood off if you want me to understand you." Ryuk said.

"m I nmr tay m hm m." Kenny mumbled.

"Confidence issues, eh? Would the ruler of the world go around with his head under a hood?" Ryuk asked. "This is your chance to make others feel your pain."

Kenny was intrigued. He took off his hood. "What do you mean?"

"I have Satan as a friend on Facebook." Ryuk explained. "He says you're quite the regular. Thanks to your parents, you're trapped in an endless cycle of death and rebirth. People never acknowledge your death. They might notice that you keep getting into life threatening situations, but nobody ever says, 'Hey Kenny, didn't the Crab People cut your head off last Wednesday? What's the deal with that?'"

"You're absolutely right." Kenny said. "Why doesn't somebody else die for once? Someone who would deserve such a fate?"

"That's the spirit!" Ryuk shouted encouragingly. "Incidentally, I'd been watching over you as a potential Kira, but you left early on the day I dropped the Death Note and that fat kid found it."

"You mean Cartman. He's too much of a petty racist to truly appreciate what something like this could offer. I'll deal with him in due time. First, I've got some cleaning up to do."

00000

"I'd like to speak to Sergeant Yates, please."

"AH, HI THERE MYSTERION!" Officer Barbrady greeted him. "SERGEANT YATES ISN'T HERE RIGHT NOW, SO PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE AFTER THE BEEP." An awkward silence ensued.

"Can't I just come back later?" Mysterion asked after several minutes.

"THE BEEP WILL COME SOON, SIR!" Officer Barbrady assured Mysterion. Several more minutes of silence followed.

"BEEP!" Officer Barbrady said, after what felt like an eternity.

"Could I access the police case files, please?" Mysterion asked.

"OF COURSE! COME THIS WAY!"

Upon reaching the room where the case files were kept, Kenny got the Death Note out of his backpack.

"What are you doing?" Ryuk asked.

"My super hero alter ego Mysterion can get information from the police, so I'm using it to gain access to the records, where I can access data on criminals and write their names in the notebook." Kenny explained.

"I like your style." Ryuk applauded as Kenny looked through the case files. He soon found a promising candidate.

"ChickenLover. I remember him. He will do admirably."

"Humans are so interesting!" Ryuk cackled, before adding, "Provided they're as driven as you. Someone like Cartman's no good."

Kenny got a pen ready and started to write.