Hey, sorry it took me so long to update. :( Please don't kill me. I'm on summer break now though, so updates should be faster. :) Another thing I realized when I reread the last chapter is Embry seemed kinda stalkerish/creeperish at the end. I really didn't exactly mean it like that, it was more 'I'm gonna sleep here and make sure nothing bad happens to her' instead of 'I'm gonna watch her sleep like a creeper' (No offense to Edward ;)p hehehehe. though that was slightly creepy) Anyway….

Oh just wanna say thanks to all those who reviewed, alerted, favorited. :)

Forbiddenluv

Xoembryloveox

Alicecullenisrealinmyworld

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Truth-Between-the-Lies

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JellyBeane-awesome beta :)

TeamComrade11

Thanks guys for taken the time to read my story, along with all the other people :)

Previously

The rain, the one thing that had once been so peaceful, now just seemed like drops of blood that constantly ran down me, forever stained onto my skin.

Just like the scars, was the last thought I remember before exhaustion kidnapped me.

"Mommy?" I asked, though it hurt.

Why did everything hurt?

It was really bright; it hurt my eyes. I closed my eyes against them, but when I went to open them it was really hard.

"Mommy?" I tried to ask, but it hurt my throat. Mommy didn't move. Maybe she was asleep? How can she sleep? I tried reaching for her, but the belt things stopped me. .

"Mommy!" I shouted, my eyes starting to sting. What were they? Mommy called them… tears? Tears started to fall down my face. I cried as I called out to Mommy but she still didn't say anything back. It made my head hurt more.

A strange man came near the window. I shrank away, strangers were bad. I tried to see him, but the light was really bright.

He smiled and reached for me.

I screamed and cried for Mommy, but she still didn't move. I was really tired too, and the man kept moving. I tried to stay awake but it was really hard.

"Leave me alone! Mommy!" I whispered, trying to stay awake. My head hurt, and I was really sleepy. His hand reached for me again, and I tried to get away but…I was so tired.

"Please," I whispered.

"It's okay sweetie, I'm a doctor. I'm here to help you," he smiled, but I kept crying. "Shhh, its okay sweetie I'm gonna get you out of here. Then everything will be okay, okay?"

"I-I want M-Mommy," I cried. It got really loud, it got really bright and pretty colors came too.

"I know. Now can you tell me where does it hurt?"

It got louder, and my head hurt even more.

"M-my head."

Why did it hurt so much?

The man reached in, but I tried to push him away. Strangers were bad.

"It's okay, I'm a doctor," he smiled again, and began to untie me from my chair.

Mommy and Daddy say doctors are good people. They're nice people.

As soon as I was free, I reached for Mommy, but the man grabbed me, and pulled me out. I could finally see him, but I was spinning. He carried me over to some more people, and laid me down on something.

"NO! I want my Mommy! Let go!" I screamed and cried as they moved me towards more people, and more colors, and more noise.

They tried shushing me, and telling me it would be okay, but I cried, trying to get back to my mommy.

It was so loud, and there were so many people.

It was so pretty.

My head hurt a lot.

Startled, my eye's shot open. Frozen, all I could hear was the roaring in my ears, until my other senses adjusted to the real world. Glancing around, I meant to sit up, but faded away again.

At first I thought I was actually awake, and me traveling to La Push had just been a dream, but then I realized I was sitting on the couch; I never sat on the couch. It was quiet; the stupid dream quiet that always happened in cliché dreams, the air seemed frozen Somehow I knew this was a dream; now how the heck do I wake up? Getting up I went into the kitchen, it was still the same, dirty dishes in the sink, a yellow-faded fridge, old beer cans and bottles littering the floor. Same ol-

"Bitch," he slurred, his fist crashing into my face. It stung a bit; he kicked me and shoved me against the wall. The beating continued, only this time was different, this time I actually felt something-Maybe I was back at the beginning?

The cold metal kissed my skin as I sliced away the pain, sliced away life-

I stared at the only person I talked to at school. "Huh?" I asked slowly.

Her mouth moved, but I couldn't hear what she was saying.

"W-what?" I asked drunkly.

She frowned and-

A deep breath filled my lungs, cold and foresty. My racing mind tried to make sense of the images, but was failing. I was more tired than before. Slowly sitting up into an upright position, my joints and muscles protested at the movement.

You've slept on worse.

Green, green, and more green greeted me. Sunlight barely pushed through the trees, small rays striking the ground every few feet creating light-golden puddles. Mist crawled along the ground; this pretty scene held nothing. It might as well as have been a bloody battlefield, that's what I'd become. A patch of grass was dry and crushed, like something had laid there. Going over to where the grass was smashed down, which I might add was probably not a foot from me, I noticed that it was huge.

"Really? And you couldn't have eaten me…why? Seriously, I was lying there all night, but no you were too lazy and was like I'm gonna let this one lucky person live," I muttered to the ground, and then realized that I was having a conversation with the Earth.

It's official, I've gone completely insane.

You're surprised? Though this is a new one, talking to the ground.

Shrinking against the voice, I wrapped my arms around myself, jacket in a death grip, remembering last night.

No, can't not again. Fighting against the urge, I bit my lip, taking deep breaths.

Move, come one walk. But it was like my feet were glued to the ground, the monster trying to take over. Willing the numbness to come, I realized it'd disappeared since last night, it didn't dance on the edge, but that didn't matter now, as long as it came back. Like calling a well-loved pet, but only this pet was one that wasn't to be found today. Dread filled me; I never knew how much I depended on that until it was gone. I didn't want to cut, but it would eventually become an inevitable event if the raw pain wasn't numbed soon.

In. Out. In. Out. I chanted, closing my eyes. Gripping my bag, my eyes opened and my feet moved. Trying to follow the small path of broken twigs and crushed shrub things, that I'd made last night, or at least I hoped I made last night, I hoped I was heading back towards the road. Yes, probably not the best idea, but it's not like I can walk over a mountain and find a city. No, I'd just find more mountains and woods. Not to mention there's cougars and bears, don't feel like becoming something's lunch.

Focusing on each step, watching each placement, attempting to not trip over anything, helped the focus drift away from the urge, from the scream that was threatening to shatter me. It wasn't enough, The pressure grew worse with each step, squeezing me tighter and tighter. Like a broken angel crawling back to heaven, the scream climbed up my throat, only to find itself forever locked in hell. It pounded on the gate, desperately seeking freedom, freedom it would never get. The monster let the chains slacken a bit, just enough to taste liberty, only to slam the steel bars shut. It teased and taunted, telling me the price I would have to pay in order to silence the cry.

Fighting it was fighting gravity, you couldn't win. The sting of the newest cut laughed, sapping all "positive" thoughts. It knew I was close to cutting, just another push, and over the edge I would go.

I couldn't quit.

I needed to cut to live. The numbness was gone, disappeared into the salty breeze that blew in from the ocean. I didn't care if I got away or not, I didn't care if Dad found me. I didn't care if I cut again, I didn't care if I died or not. Life wasn't going to change, just 'cause I tried to make it.

So go on, cut. It won't hurt anything.

This world is screwed up, and nothing will ever change that.

Cut, cut, cut it chanted, laughing like a demonic child.

Zombie-like I kicked away the slimy leaves, revealing a small mine of rocks, sharp, with deadly edges rocks. I don't remember reaching down to grab one, or my hand wrapping around the smooth, but rough surface, feeling the grated edge against my fingers. I don't remember the voice urging me on, the monster that paced eagerly. I don't reme-

Someone's gaze made me freeze, and slowly I turned to see who. Oh wait why did I care again? Oh well.

Slight shock bubbled in my stomach at the sight. A huge dark grey wolf stood in the shadows, and when I saw huge I mean freakin huge. Like easily probably 5 times the normal size of a wolf, probably more. Fear didn't exist, neither did safety for myself. It stared at me, head slightly tilted. It whined, and took a step towards me.

"What?" I whispered, emotionlessly. The stupid little animated person from earlier was screaming why was I talking to a wolf when I should be running. The monster silenced him.

It took another step towards me, and a muffled thud echoed beside me. My right hand, closed around air. The pressure, that had retreated, returned, not being forced back by the…comforting effect of the rock.

Its penetrating gaze was locked on me, while mine was unfocusedly attached to the ground. Seconds ticked by; silence.

Sinking to the ground, my hand found the rock again, rubbing my fingers along its edges, soothing the angry beast. For some reason I didn't want to cut in front of the wolf, I can't explain why. Maybe it's because of years of hiding it? Maybe it's shame? Maybe both? No…there was something else, but I didn't know what and I couldn't explain it.

I glanced up, and the stone fell back to the earth. The pain was gone; I cared again. I didn't want to cut, I didn't need to. The rock was gone, the monster; silent.

I tried to tear my gaze away, but everything just felt to…good. I couldn't. Why would I give this up to go back to that? The urge. The pain. The frozen features.

My brain, fighting through the dispensing fog, had somehow actually done something.

This is how I feel when I look at Embry.