Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Author's Note: The final chapter is here. It's incredibly sappy and cheesy and much longer then I had intended it to be, so be warned. I also have to warn you all about Juliet being in this chapter as well, just a little heads up. I hope you all like it anyhow. Enjoy!
They held each other close and slept for a while on that couch. When they woke up the house was completely dark. Realizing that day had turned into night and they were running out of time together, they made love again. They kissed and loved and cherished every moment with each other.
Most of the other houses were dark; just a few random ones here and there still had a light on. Sawyer didn't know what time it was, but he didn't really care if anyone would mind when he picked up the candles and lit them again, then turned on the music, held out his hand to her like he had on their wedding day and asked her to dance. He'd played the romantic for so many of his marks before, but for once it wasn't an act. This time he was being genuinely romantic for Kate … for his wife.
Had she not already been helplessly in love with him, he would've definitely closed the deal when he put on some Patsy Cline for her. At first being all "Didn't even know I had Patsy in my island collection!" to which Kate rolled her eyes and responded sarcastically, "Yeah, right!" which led to him eventually admitting that he'd sit here alone and listen to this cd, thinking about her and wondering what she was up to in L.A. … wondering if she was listening to it too.
She just nodded at that and they both grew silent after Sawyers heartfelt admission and just swayed to the music. She couldn't bare the pain that shot through her heart, nor could she admit to him that she'd listened to Phil Collins instead … the memory just too fresh and incredibly painful in her mind when she had thought he was really dead.
So, he held her in his arms with her head tucked under his chin while they barely moved their bare feet to the music.
She always listened to Patsy Cline and he'd gotten used to it, even knew a few random lyrics here and there, but he'd never really paid much attention to the words until he was all alone and missing her. So he knew just which song to choose to play into the melancholy they were already feeling.
" See the pyramids along the Nile
Watch the sunset on a tropic isle
Just remember darlin' all the while
You belong to me "
" See the market place in old Algiers
Send me photographs and souvenirs
Just remember when a dream appears
You belong to me
I'd be so alone without you
Maybe you'd be lonesome too an' blue "
" Fly the ocean in a silver plane
See the jungle when it's wet with rain
Just remember 'till you're home again
You belong to me "
" I'd be so alone without you
Maybe you'd be lonesome too an' blue "
" Fly the ocean in a silver plane
See the jungle when it's wet with rain
Just remember till you're home again
You belong to me "
Somehow they'd found their way back to bed, and somehow they'd even managed to get some sleep. But with dawn and the rays of sun shining through their bedroom window, they both woke up with the same sad notion. That today would be their last day together … and they didn't know when they'd see each other again.
So the day started out with an utterly endless list of last times roaming through their minds … last kisses, last hug, last time making love … and neither of them wanted to admit that the end was near when they fell back into the pillows and got entangled in each other once more.
Touching her pink cheeks, noting the fading hickey and her blotchy skin at her neck where Sawyer's beard had scratched her almost raw, "I look awful."
He snug behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, locking eyes with her reflection in the mirror, "You never look awful, Freckles. You look …" Pausing for a moment for the right choice of words, but not finding them he said the first thing that popped in his mind, "You look nice and fucked." His romantic side had apparently disappeared like a bloodsucker with the first rays of sunshine.
She turned in his arms and gave him a look that could kill, but he just laughed out loud at his own comment, "What? You do … but in a good way."
"I look fucked, but in a good way?" She asked staring him to the ground.
"Come on, Freckles. Let's not have a fight about this. You look perfect." Pulling her back into his arms and turning her attention back to her own reflection in the mirror that was slowly beginning to fog up.
"Look at you, hon' …" his hand caressing her collarbone in a way nobody has ever touched her there, "You're gorgeous. There ain't nothin' 'bout you that don't do somethin' for me."
And with that he pulled her into the steaming shower with him … maybe for the last time!
She got dressed in practical clothing, comfy pants and shirts, nothing fancy. Thinking ahead for the hike to the Orchid, and furthermore the days ahead in Tunisia and wherever else her journey would lead her on her way back to Los Angeles, when she packed her backpack in silence that morning.
Sawyer was in the kitchen, preparing some food and water for their hike later while Kate found herself alone in his bedroom once again. A sudden wave of melancholy washed over her as she took in her surroundings in silence.
This was the same bedroom, although sans pictures, books and with different furnishings altogether, that they'd had that terrible fight in all those years ago. And even though she didn't want to dwell on bad memories at this particular moment, she couldn't help but wonder – like she had so many times before – how or even if things had been different if she'd told him the truth on that morning.
People make mistakes. People say or do things in the spur of the moment that they don't mean. After all, she was sort of an expert at that. She had made a near endless list of such mistakes in her life.
So yeah, Sawyer had reacted poorly with his exaggerated sigh of relief and happy outburst that she was in fact not pregnant. And yes, he had explained to her time and again since then that he was relieved to know that she wasn't going to die. But in hindsight, had she then just told him how she'd come to know that she wasn't pregnant. Had she told him that she had been pregnant but had lost the baby … their baby.
Thinking about it all now it seems downright impossible that he wouldn't have been remorseful himself. Impossible to think that he wouldn't have been ashamed of his own words, he would've apologized and consoled her. And she would've been able to cry in his arms for the loss of their child. Thinking about it now, she could envision his strong arms wrapped around her and could practically hear his voice whispering in her ear as he held her, one of his usual attempts to get her to crack a smile, the optimist seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. "At least you're not going to die, Freckles. That's something, ain't it?"
But that wasn't what happened. By keeping quiet and not telling him the whole truth, she changed the outcome. And then when he dared to accuse her of picking a fight to have a reason to leave … hell, he'd been so right about her that her pride had prevented her from doing anything but his prediction. Run!
She'd changed what could've been. Her mind goes on and on, going over all the 'what if's' in her head, the ones she's too ashamed of to ever speak. What if she'd told him? What if she'd stayed? What if she'd been there when Claire, Miles and he were finding their way back to the beach? What if Claire had never gone missing with her there to keep watch?
But that was as far as she'd let her mind wonder … because she still didn't think it would've changed him jumping from the helicopter. She knows he still would've done it.
A heavy sigh escaped her lips when she saw the dress lying on the foot of the bed. She reached for it, held it up to her face to take in the scent of his laundry soap again and smiled to herself when all she could smell on it now was him. Then she stepped over to the dresser and placed it back where she'd found it the day before, hoping that he'll find it and think of her in that dress. Not the cages anymore, but her here in his house in that dress. Much better memories, she thought and no longer regretting that she wore it.
With the dresser drawer still open, she reached into the back pocket of her pants and pulled out two colorless sonogram photos of their unborn child. Without any hesitation she placed one of the pictures on top of her folded dress, so that it couldn't be missed by him, then put the other one back into her back pocket.
Her eyes fell onto the small toy plane once again and she couldn't stop her hand from picking it up. Once this little plane was all she had left of Tom, and yet somehow it seemed so incredibly tragic that Sawyer held it as a treasure now because it was one of the few things he'd left of her. She let out a sob at that thought and quickly covered her mouth with her hand, trying to not let Sawyer hear her cry again. Kate stared at the plane for a long moment before returning it to the drawer as well.
Reluctantly Sawyer walked out of Ben's office, a small room in the large building that used to be the school back in the real dharma days. He didn't want to leave Kate out of his sight for a second, definitely not for an hour while Ben and Hurley were informing her on all the things to come once she arrived in Tunisia. But Ben and Hurley both agreed that they'd get this done and over with much faster if Sawyer wasn't there to distract and second guess every decision they'd made concerning Kate's safe return back to Los Angeles. So Kate had reassured him that she would be fine, while Ben added, "I'm sure she'll tell you everything we've discussed on your way to the Orchid." Before he closed the door in Sawyer's face.
So what now? He wondered as he found himself standing outside, surrounded by perfect little yellow houses. He didn't feel like going back to his house, he'd have to spend enough hours there by himself once she was gone for good.
The thought of getting some rest crossed his mind. A grin spread across his face at the reasons why he'd been lacking sleep, when a voice behind him startled him out of his dirty thoughts, "Where's your better half? She didn't leave yet, did she?"
Sawyer turned at the sound of the familiar friendly voice, greeting Bernard with a subtle nod of his head, "She's getting the lowdown on her all- inclusive Tunisia vacation package."
"Ah." Bernard replied and nodded in understanding, then groaned as if he was in pain when he sat a fairly large tub down by his feet, filled with fresh fish.
"Do you think you can give me a hand with this?" He nodded towards the tub and without wording a reply, Sawyer simply grabbed one side of the tub while Bernard grabbed the other and together they carried the fish back to Bernard's and Rose's house.
"Caught them all this morning?" Bernard said with pride in his voice as they sat the tub down in his kitchen. "You're more than welcome to take a few home, if you want? I'm sure you're getting tired of all this dharma food too. Every now and then you just need to have something fresh, don't you think?"
Sawyer nodded absentmindedly. Restocking his fridge and pantry was clearly the last thing on his mind.
Seeing the look of despair on Sawyers face, Bernard felt sorry for the younger man standing in front of him. "Did I ever tell you that Rose was sick too?"
Sawyer eyes met his in surprise, questioning.
Bernard nodded, pulled out a chair and suggested with his hand for him to take a seat at his kitchen table while he added, "Cancer … same as Kate."
He hadn't intended on staying but somewhat curious about Bernard's admission he sat down. "What happened?" The question left his lips without much thought behind it, playing into the much needed distraction from Kate's imminent departure that Bernard was currently providing.
"She got better." Bernard simply stated, well aware of Sawyer watching him as he prepared a cutting board, knife, containers and other utensils to begin gutting the fish at the table.
Sitting down himself, knife and fish in hand, he went on about his task of cleaning the fish, finally looking up at Sawyer, "She swears up and down this island healed her, and I suppose after everything that happened, guess it's a fair assumption that she's right."
Sawyer studied the older man for a moment, wondering to himself why he was even still sitting here, when Bernard continued. "You know, at your age I was still a perpetual Bachelor with no intention on settling down."
Sawyer raised his eyebrows in surprise, actually smiling for a moment when he said, "Is that so?" For the life of him he couldn't picture Bernard without Rose.
Bernard nodded, waving the knife in the air as he spoke, "Oh, I just hadn't met the right woman yet." He smiled, "I had been a bachelor for fifty-six years, before I finally met Rose."
Sawyer didn't say anything, just waited for Bernard to continue. "Her car was stuck in the snow and I helped her out. And before I knew it, I found myself standing in a jewelry story looking at rings."
Sawyer smiled at that, remembering himself standing in a jewelry story in L.A., trying to find the perfect ring for Kate.
Bernard chuckled then and added, "And let me tell you, it wasn't easy picking a ring for her. I mean, twenty-something's are easy to impress with just about any piece of jewelry, but someone who'd been around the block a few times … well, that's not that easy now, is it?" He raised his eyebrows as he studied Sawyer and seemed relieved when the younger man nodded his head with him in agreement.
Bernard focused his attention back on the fish, "We'd known each other for five month when I proposed and you know what she said?" He looked at Sawyer as if he was actually waiting for him to answer.
To his surprise, Sawyer did, "I assume she said yes."
"Wrong!" Bernard exclaimed with a shrill sound, "She said that she was dying. Told me that she had cancer and that she had only a year left to live. And then,… then after I pressed for an actual answer, she finally said yes."
Now Sawyer was speechless, a feeling of unease spreading through him. "So you were going to marry her, even though you knew she was sick and dying?"
Bernard nodded, "Yes, I did." He looked up and met Sawyers gaze, "And boy am I glad I did."
Silence filled the room quickly when neither of them dared to speak.
Bernard continued cleaning the fish as he suddenly spoke up again, "We were in Australia for our honeymoon. But I had another agenda when I took her to Australia." Bernard continued without giving Sawyer a chance to interrupt, "I took her to this faith healer … or magic healer, whatever you wanna call him. Isaac of Uluru, that was his name." He shared a look with Sawyer and said, "Yeah, I know. Of course Rose thought I was crazy for believing in such nonsense as a faith healer, but she went and saw the man anyway. She did it for me." Bernard let out a heavy sigh, "She lied to me then, said that she thought that it worked. Pacified me by saying that she was cured. It wasn't until we came here, that she finally told me the truth. Said that this place here really healed her and not Isaac of Uluru."
Sawyer had heard enough. All of this was just hitting too close to home. Kate. Her cancer. The island. And now the baby. He needed to get out of there, so he pushed his chair back to get up, "I guess I better get going, she might be done already, wondering where the hell I am."
Bernard put down the knife and fish, wiping his hands on a rag as he stood up himself, surprising Sawyer when he said, "You do know that this isn't over." A hint of confusion on Sawyers face made Bernard elaborate, "Just because she's leaving and you're staying right now, doesn't mean it's over for the two of you."
Sawyer standing there didn't really know what to say to that, he was willing to listen to Bernard talk about Rose, yet he had no intentions of pouring his heart out to the older man in return. Sure, he did remember the whiskey loosening his tongue on the night when Kate decided to head through the jungle to Bernard's and Rose's old cabin … and yeah, he had talked about their relationship then but he just couldn't have a repeat of that night. Definitely not stone-cold sober over some stinking gutted fish.
But before he could say anything or dismiss Bernard's words of unwanted wisdom altogether, he was already speaking again, "There's still a chance for a happy ending for you both. Don't ever give up on your dreams that easily, that's all I'm saying." Then he chuckled as he added, "It's quite ironic that in life the person that brings out the best in you and makes you strong is actually your biggest weakness."
Sawyer just stared back at Bernard until he found his voice again, "Look, I appreciate ya'll worryin', but we'll be fine. I made a choice and I'm stickin' with it. I won't take any chances with her health. And besides, Hurley's already agreed to let me go off island every now and then to see her and the kid, so that'll have to do."
Bernard's eyebrows raised in confusion, "What kid? You mean Aaron?"
Surprised Sawyer looked away, he had figured by now the news about their bun in the oven had made the rounds. After all, Hurley had never been able to keep a secret for longer then it took him to down a bucket full of fried chicken. But none the less, the cat was out of the bag, so Sawyer just raised his eyebrows himself and a grin tugged at the corner of his lips in a 'you didn't know' kinda way and said, "No, not Aaron. Our kid, Kate's pregnant."
Bernard's surprised look turned into one of pure happiness, as if he had just told him they all won a million bucks. "That is … that is … Congratulations. That's just wonderful!" He held out his hand for a moment for Sawyer to shake it, but then retrieved it again realizing it was still slightly covered in fish-guts, "Well, I'd shake your hand but …." He held it in the air to emphasize his point, and Sawyer just nodded.
"Anyway." Sawyer turned halfway towards the door, "I better get going."
"Sure. Sure." Bernard said, still beaming of pure joy, "Don't forget to bring her by here before you all take off today."
"I will." Sawyer said before he pulled the front door shut behind him.
Bernard sat back down at his table and reached for the next large fish in the tub. "A baby," he said out loud to himself, "Rose is going to love this."
He placed the knife strategically along the bottom side of the fish and cut it open, reaching in to pull the contents out, he retrieved his hand in surprise.
Reaching for the rag, he cleaned his finding and looked at it in awe. "Now would you look at that, boy," Bernard said in the direction of Vincent, who was lying on the floor in front of the coffee table. The dog just raised his head for a second, but uninterested got comfortable again for his mid morning nap.
Sawyer swung his long leg over and off the four-wheeler and helped Kate along. The foliage was thicker along this path and they had no other option then to walk from here on out. But thanks to the vehicle, they were making good time.
Heavy heartedly she'd said her goodbye's to Rose and Bernard and even Vincent earlier. She had also hugged Hurley and Frank goodbye, but she knew that she'd see them again, and Ben too.
So here they were, trekking through the always green jungle alongside each other, like they've had done countless times before. Sawyer was a just a step ahead of her, holding leaves and branches out of her way while she followed close behind him. There was just something about little gestures like this that had her stomach doing flips inside.
She'd always prided herself in not needing a man. She'd never need a man like her mother had needed Wayne. But here she was with Sawyer and hell if she didn't need him more than anything else in the world.
They had been walking for at least a good two hours when he slowed down a bit and reached for her hand, "How ya' feelin'?"
Kate looked up at him, and smiled because he'd asked her that at least a hundred times since they had left the four-wheeler behind, "I'm fine James."
He shrugged, "I'm just saying, if you need a break, all you gotta do is say so."
She sighed, "I know. And I will tell you when I need a break."
Sawyer glanced at the sun in the east, barely visible through the threes rising high above them. "Hurley said to radio him once we're there, and he'll radio us when it's time for you to spin their wheel of fortune. He said it probably won't be until late tonight though."
Kate looked up at him, "So if we get there early enough, then we'll have some time to ourselves before I have to leave?" She tried to keep her look as innocent as possible, but Sawyer could see right through her.
He grinned back at her, "That's why you're in such a hurry to get there, Freckles?"
She shrugged, "I'm just saying."
"Yeah, I hear what ya' saying alright." He smiled at her and she couldn't help the pink that rose to her cheeks when she smiled back at him as they hurried along. With a mischievous smile he added, "If you need a break, just say so, alright. 'Cause you ain't no use to me if you pass out from exhaustion once we get there. I prefer your eager participation, Freckles."
She grinned as she lowered her gaze to avoid his eyes on her, her cheeks turning bright red when she mumbled, "I bet you do."
Kate unfolded the piece of paper so that Sawyer and she could read the instructions and little map Ben had prepared for them.
As instructed they climbed through a hole into the abandoned greenhouse, turned right, 20 paces and looked for a flower named anthuriums to their left. A small sketch drawn by Ben as to what the flower actually looked like helped them eventually spot the patch of anthuriums and with them the hidden switch to activate the elevator.
They crammed into the elevator, and began their descent when Kate looked up at him with amusement sparkling in her eyes.
"What?" he inquired.
"I just figured as 'Head of Security' you'd know about every secret switch and door on this island."
He snorted somewhat offended, "I know enough."
"Sure." She stated without an ounce of conviction in her voice.
He had to smile a little at her tone of voice, "You've got something on your mind, princess?"
She smiled up at him again, hesitating only for a second before the words just tumbled out of her mouth as if she'd had them recited in her head already, "I'm just saying, you didn't even know about the security room with the cameras and guns on Hydra Island. And you didn't know what to do once that water had flooded the basement of that building. If it hadn't been for me, we would've never gotten out of there, Mr. Head-of-Security." She waved her hand to suggest to their surroundings, "And clearly, you had no idea how to get to this elevator. I mean, if anything ever happened to Ben, nobody would ever find their way down here again."
After what seemed like the longest elevator ride of their life, the elevator finally came to a stop and the door disappeared into the ceiling in a fashion Sawyer and Kate have only seen in movies before. As they stepped out of the metal cage like entrapment, Sawyer suddenly continued their conversation and spoke up in his defense, "First of all, Hydra Island was out of my jurisdiction back in the seventies. They had their own security over there, doing their underwater research, animal experiments and such. And second, Mrs. Know-it-all, this place here wasn't even built when we left the seventies behind us. And yeah, since I've been back on the island, I haven't had a reason to stop by here and say 'howdy-doody' to the anthuriums."
Kate didn't answer him; instead she just stood still in the hallway and observed her surroundings rather wearily with her flashlight in hand.
Sawyer looked around the place as well, flipping several switches in an attempt to get all the lights to come on. He succeeded and gave Kate a look as if he was trying to prove a point, but she just chuckled and rolled her eyes, pointing to the sign above the switches that clearly stated 'Lights'!
He grunted in disappointment as he followed her down the hallway to scope the place out. His eyes traveled down her small frame walking ahead of him, when his eyes lingered on her hips swaying with every step she took. A smile crept across his face when he said, "Well, I'm sure glad there're some things you do need me for, Freckles."
"Like what?" she spat back, giving him a humored look over her shoulder.
He reached out for the straps of her backpack, pulled them off her shoulders in one swift motion, before he turned her to face him and pulled her in for a kiss. One hand was hooked behind her neck, holding her lips to his, while the other hand traveled down her back to her cup one butt cheek, pulling her groin to his.
Kate broke from the kiss and let out a gasp when she felt his erection pressing against her, but Sawyer just smiled before he kissed her again.
Sawyer released her lips to kiss a trail down her neck, she sighed before she found her voice again, straining to speak against the sensation his mouth was starting against her skin, "We've been at it pretty much all day yesterday, and at least half the night. I –. "He cut her words off with a scorching kiss to her lips.
His voice was surprisingly light when he broke away to answer, "You should be used to it by now, Freckles. I'm like that pink bunny with the drum … I'll just keep going and going."
They both stumbled into a room, looking for a suitable place to proceed.
Kate buttoned up her shirt that she wore over her tank top, scanning the ceiling of the room they'd made love in, but unable to find anything that resembled a lens or a camera. She turned towards Sawyer who was still sprawled out and naked on the couch behind her, she questioned him again, "You're sure?"
He propped himself up to a semi-sitting position, reached for her hand to pull her closer, "Freckles, would I still be lying here butt ass naked if I thought there was a camera somewhere?"
He scooted to make room for her and she sat on the edge of the couch, smiling she leaned in to place an innocent kiss on his beautiful lips, "Probably. Modesty is my thing, not yours."
A big fat grin spread across his face, "You weren't too modest in my cage that time!" He stated suggestively, watching her intently for a reaction.
She straightened her back, but refrained from rolling her eyes, "I thought the camera was broke."
"Right!" He retorted, "But that would've warranted them to check up on us in person even more, don't you think?"
Her cheeks flamed hot with the knowledge that Sawyer was right. She had been so crazy for his touch, so consumed with the fear of losing him, that she threw all caution and modesty aside and had actually done the deed with him on the ground of a filthy bear cage, in broad daylight and for all the by-passers to see.
He had just meant to toy with her. Rile her up a bit. After all, arguing with her was almost as much fun as making love with her. And he'd almost laughed out loud when he saw her already pink cheeks turn bright red right before him, but the laugh died down in his throat when he saw the expression cross her face. He didn't exactly know what she was thinking, but he could take a pretty good guess.
"Hey." He blurted out, and propped her chin up with his hand to turn her attention to his, locking his eyes on hers, "Don't even think about it, Sweetheart!"
"Think about what?" She questioned, avoiding his eyes again.
"Don't you let your mind take that little stroll there and start regretting what we did in that cage, you hear me?" His voice was raised and she could tell that he wasn't joking.
She batted her lashes, avoiding his gaze; she hesitated but then spoke out anyways, "We could've been caught with our pants down in the most literal sense of the phrase. We shouldn't have been so reckless."
An angry growl escaped his throat as he sat up, almost pushing her off the couch when he reached for his jeans on the floor. She watched him as he focused all his attention away from her, she could tell he was holding back not to yell.
There was no doubt that he was mad, when he pushed his feet into the legs of his jeans, then stood up to pull them all the way on. Zipping the zipper, buckling the belt, he didn't bother with his shirt when he walked barefooted back out into the hall, leaving her behind … still sitting on that couch.
She sighed loudly, regret filling her … she didn't want to spend the last couple of hours fighting with him. After a few moments, she realized he wasn't coming back, so she got to her feet and walked back out into the hallway herself. But all she found was his backpack, half its contents spilled haphazardly onto the cold cement floor, but Sawyer was nowhere in sight. She heard muffled voices coming from a room down the hall. She wearily walked down the hallway, following the noise, but her steps gained speed when she realized the voices she heard was her own and James'. He was watching the tape again.
Busting into the room, her eyes fell onto a small TV screen and a VCR underneath, but the screen didn't display anything when she walked in. Apparently Sawyer had just stopped the tape to fast forward it; she could hear a noise coming from the VCR.
She could see him stiffen at the sound of her voice, "What are you doing James?"
"Hold on." He said, without so much as looking at her, as he stopped the tape and pushed play again.
Her own body stiffened with fear as to what might be on that tape, but when her eyes fell on him and her in their cages, she couldn't help the strong emotions that seemed to overwhelm her. She stepped closer to him, close enough for her knees to touch him as he crouched on the floor in front of the little screen.
Neither of them spoke as they both tried to hear and remember this moment that played out on the screen before them.
A strange pain crept in her heart when she watched herself and him talking to each other through the bars of their cages … it had been so long ago, and yet it seems so heartbreaking all the same. She had been so scared back then, the only thing that kept her going was having him right there with her.
The screen turned black, and she realized that Sawyer had stopped it, and had pushed the fast forward button again.
"Wait!" She pleaded as she quickly crouched down on the floor beside him and reached out to push the play button herself.
But just as the picture came back to the screen Sawyers hands were on the controls again, pushing the stop button and fast forward button so fast, Kate hadn't even had time to blink.
She looked over at him, and all the anger seemed to have subsided again when his hand touched hers to stop her from pushing play once again, "Just a little bit more, Freckles."
Their eyes locked on one another and she nodded, then both turned their attention back to the screen when Sawyer started the movie again.
He sure had perfect timing; Kate thought when her eyes fell on herself being pushed into the bars by Sawyer while they were kissing.
Her cheeks flamed once again and she shifted uneasy beside him, but this time he let the movie play on.
Noting her fidgeting beside him, he sat down and pulled her towards him. He wrapped her in his arms, never taking his eyes off of the screen before them. And somewhat satisfied he noted that she didn't take her eyes off of it either.
Moments passed in complete silence when they both watched the couple on screen undressing each other and begin making love as if their lives depended on it.
Sawyer chose that moment to look at Kate. Her cheeks bright red, her lips looking puffy and raw from all the kissing they've been doing. He pulled her silky curls over her shoulder to expose her ear, leaned in and whispered, "Still think we were reckless, Freckles?"
Her eyes reluctantly left the screen and turned to look at the man holding her now. She hesitated again; her voice sounded small and was being overshadowed by the sounds coming from the screen, "I can't believe we did that. It wasn't even dark yet!" She crinkled her nose in the most adoring way.
He had to smile at the look on her face and what she'd said, then he turned his attention back to the screen and her eyes followed his gaze. Both remained quiet for a moment as they watched the rhythmic movement of Sawyers hips between Kates spread legs, as he was burying himself into her. Listening to the moans that were stifled by passionate kisses.
He leaned in again to whisper in her ear, but this time not taking his eyes off of the screen before him, "What do you see?"
She was flustered, to say the least. It was a strange out of body experience to watch something so intimate and she could feel every touch on her own skin as if it was happening right now. Come to think of it, it had been just moments ago that she'd felt like this.
She thought about his loaded question … what did she see?
She swallowed that lump in her throat. She didn't regret this. How could she even think for one second that this had been wrong? Doubting herself, she looked over her shoulder at Sawyer, raising the same question, "What do you see, James?"
His arms around her grew tighter as he pulled her back even closer into his still bare chest. He exhaled loudly, and she thought of it as an attempt to stall, which it was.
"You know, Freckles," he began. "Anyone watching this would probably see some … some pornographic value in it."
She jerked around to get a good look at him, every line on her face told him she was pissed that he would diminish that moment to something so repulsive. "Now hold on, I ain't done." He said in his own defense.
Nodding towards the screen, her focus shifted back to herself and him in the throes of passion.
"As I was saying," he continued, "Anyone else wouldn't see anything but two people going at it in a cage." Pausing he couldn't help but wonder if there was a market for that sort of thing, but one look at the screen and that look on Kates face while he was making love to her erased that inappropriate thought right out of his mind. And at the risk of sounding like he was whipped he said, "But I see a man in love with a woman, showing her just how much the best way he knows how … come rain or shine or others."
His arms were wrapped around her middle, and she found his hands and covered them with her own. Pushing her fingers in-between his.
It only lasted a second, before she peeled his hands off of her to loosen the tight grip he had around her waist. She freed herself from his arms, just enough to turn to face him. Their eyes locked and he quickly pulled her into his lap so that she was straddling him.
She wrapped her arms and legs around him, resting her head on his shoulder when his arms wrapped around her equally tight, pulling her slick against him. Chest to chest, groin to groin.
His arousal was obvious, but truthfully Kate couldn't blame him. Watching it all unfold on the little screen in front of them, she was sure he felt the same ache for her as what she was feeling for him.
But she needed this moment in his arms. To recollect her thoughts. To reflect on things long gone and to stop herself from denying what she'd known in her heart all along.
She was right to some degree, she thought to herself. That moment still ongoing on the monitor behind her was a moment of recklessness. And anyone with some sense of dignity and decency would have to agree that it was wrong to engage in something like that in broad daylight, with cameras and the likelihood of getting caught. And clearly that was what Jack and the others must have thought when they'd seen them.
But … but she no longer cared what Jack thought, or what anyone else thought for that matter. And with sadness she realized she never should've cared. There's no shame in making love to the man you love.
Lifting her head off his shoulder, she raised her lips to his ear and whispered, "Show me again how much you love me?"
The concrete floor felt cold against her body, but she was too tired to even move an inch. He must've felt her shiver, because he tugged her closer to his side, raised his head enough to glance down her naked form and said, "Cold?"
With her head on his shoulder she nodded sleepily, but didn't move or say anything.
He looked to the side, noting her clothes scattered throughout the room. He turned his head towards her, bending his neck awkwardly to kiss her forehead, "Maybe we should get dressed."
"Maybe." She answered him sleepily without even opening her eyes and still not moving from her position in his arms.
He ran his hand up her naked thigh that was hooked over his middle, rubbing it up and down to bring some heat to her skin when he heard the crackling sound of a radio and voice breaking the silence in the room.
In unison both their heads snapped up, turning towards the hallway. Both straining their ears to hear.
There it was again, a voice could be heard from down the hall, and stark realization sank in as to what it was.
"Shit!" Sawyer cursed, when he got quickly to his feet. Kate watched his naked form disappear around the corner as he yelled, "It's the walky, we forgot to call Hurley."
She could hear Sawyer talking to Hurley on the walky-talky while she collected her clothes and got dressed once again.
Hurley could feel Bernard and Rose's eyes on him when he ended his conversation with Sawyer.
"Sounds like they made it there alright." Hurley exclaimed in relief.
"Yeah, sounds like it." Bernard repeated.
There was silence in the air as they stood around Bernard's kitchen, the smell of fish so overwhelming, even though all the windows were propped open to let in a cleaning breeze.
The awkward tension in the room was broken when Rose finally spoke up, "Bernard and I have been thinking, Hugo. Maybe you should tell him the whole truth."
Hurley's curly hair fell into his face when he lowered his head in shame. "I know." He said as he sat down on a chair.
Bernard joined him and Rose at the kitchen table, then spoke up, "He was here this morning when Ben and you were talking to Kate alone. It's not hard to see that he's unsure about their future together. I couldn't -"
Hurley leaned forward, interrupting Bernard mid sentence, "See, but that's just the thing. I wouldn't be able to help with that. I don't know either what's going to happen or when. I just know that I know …" he paused, thinking how to word this right, "I just know that at some point I will know that he can go home, but if I tell him that he will just drive me insane until that day comes. And for all I know it could be next week or 15 years from now or 51 years from now… I just don't know … I know it's wrong to keep that from him, but I don't want to give him any false hope."
Bernard nodded his head, but Rose wasn't convinced, "its wrong, Hugo. No matter what your reasons are, it's just plain wrong. The man deserves the right to know that there will be an end to it all, even when we don't know when that will be. He deserves to have hope. Hope to be reunited with his wife for good. Something to hold onto. Something to keep his spirits up, or have you forgotten how he moped around this place after he first got here, before she arrived. The man is miserable; he needs something to hold onto. He needs to know."
After a long moment Hurley nodded, "You're right." Pushing the chair back to get up he looked first to Rose and then to Bernard, "Ben's not going to like this, he's all secrety and stuff, but I'm gonna do it. I'll go to the Orchid and tell him in person."
"What about Kate?" Bernard raised the question that Rose was just about to ask herself, when he stood to walk Hurley to the front door.
Hurley stood next to his chair and halted, thinking about it for a moment, "That's between him and her. If he wants to tell her, then that's his call, dude. Not mine."
And with that Hurley turned to leave the kitchen, Bernard followed him. In an attempt to lighten the mood he reached for the object on his kitchen counter and said, "Look what I found today when I gutted those fish."
Bernard held up a small silver band, decorated with just a single small diamond.
Hurley raised his eyebrows in surprise, "I didn't know fish eat stuff like that … did I ever tell you when my dog Buster crapped out a buck thirty-five in nickels." Giving Vincent the once over he pointed at the ring, "You better keep that thing away from Vince."
Bernard walked alongside him towards the front door, still holding the ring, "Too bad it doesn't fit Rose, it's too small."
Rose appeared next to them both out of nowhere, pulling the ring out of Bernard's grasp and held it out to Hurley when she said, "Take it."
Hurley looked confused, but before he could ask Rose explained, "He's not going to be happy you kept this from him all this time, honey. So you're gonna need something to give to him as a peace offering."
Hurley looked even more confused now, "You want me to give this ring to Sawyer?" When Rose nodded her head, Hurley just shook his before he said, "No offense, d-du … Rose, but don't you think he'll think that's kinda … you know, like gay?" In his mind he could already hear Sawyer's voice throwing a few new nicknames at him … something about Will and Grace seemed to be the reoccurring theme … in his mind!
Bernard smiled and Rose couldn't help the chuckle that left her throat, "No, Sweetheart, not for him from you. For him to give to Kate."
Hurley looked clearly relieved, "Ahhh." He sighed. That made a whole lot more sense, he thought. "Okay. Good idea." He said and reached for the ring that Rose was still holding out to him.
The moment his fingers touched the ring, something flashed before his eyes and Hurley jumped back in surprise.
Bernard reached out and touched the big man's shoulder comfortingly, "Hurley, are you alright?"
Hurley stared at the silver ring he held between his thumb and index finger, realization flooded his chubby face when he looked first to Rose, then back to Bernard and then sputtered, "I've gotta go."
Fully dressed, they had finally inspected their surroundings in detail. They easily found the sliding metal doors. After following Ben's instructions they were able to open the doors and even walked past the hole in the wall behind it. But when they reached the point where they wouldn't be able to walk anymore and had to crawl on their hands and knees, they both decided they weren't going any further right now. Even though both were somewhat curious to see what 'the wheel of fortune' actually looked like, they didn't want to dwell on the inevitable departure any more then they had to.
After having eaten some of the food Sawyer had packed for them, they now where stretched out on the sofa again, but this time fully dressed.
Deciding it would do them both good to take a little nap to recharge. He placed the walky-talky on the little side table next to the sofa. Making sure that the volume was all the way up and they wouldn't miss any calls, he sat it down, and then settled back down with Kate in his arms.
She opened her eyes and groaned inwardly. The crook of his arm was so nice and comfy and sleep was definitely needed at this point, but her bladder was about to burst.
Carefully not to wake him, she untangled herself out of his arms. She'd actually managed to do so without waking him, had slipped into her boots and was just about to leave the room, when Sawyer blindly reached for her. Finding nothing where she'd been just a moment ago, his eyes shot open and he saw her walking out of the room.
His voice was horse and sounded sultry when he said, "Hey, where you going?"
Startled she stopped and turned towards him, "Bathroom. I'll be right back, go back to sleep."
"Okay." He mumbled as he closed his eyes again, clearly still sleepy, "But hurry up, I don't sleep good without you."
She snickered at that, because he seemed to have fallen back asleep immediately.
Guess I wore him out, she thought as she walked down the eerie looking hallway alone.
She flushed the toilet rather wearily, hoping that the plumbing still worked. She washed her hands, and dried them with a paper towel before she stepped out of the small room again. Walking gingerly back down the hall, she stopped when she thought she'd heard something.
Instinctively she reached to the back of her pants, but her gun wasn't there. Cursing herself for leaving it on top of her backpack, which was sitting on the floor in front of the couch where Sawyer was currently napping. When she heard the sound again, she turned back around and headed towards the noise, away from where Sawyer and her gun was.
She slipped out of her boots; they made her footsteps too heavy and decided she couldn't be heard barefoot. She remembered clearly what was in those rooms down that hall. Sawyer and she had gone through every single one of them.
Instantly regretting leaving her boots behind when she came to the conclusion that it could only be a rodent that was making the noise. A mouse or a rat. She shuttered with the thought of either running over her bare feet, or worse, her stepping on either with bare feet.
She peeked into the room and nothing caught her eye. There was no one there. Scanning the floor for any movement of an animal, her eyes froze on a pair of bare feet that seemed to have appeared out of thin air and she was just about to let out a scream when the person soothingly shushed her. "Shhhhhhh."
The all too familiar voice was barely above a whisper. No doubt Sawyer couldn't hear her.
"Let him sleep." The blond woman said, "He looks so peaceful in his sleep."
Kate blinked a few times, but it didn't work. Juliet did not disappear like she would've hoped.
"You're not real." Kate blurted out, but instantly regretting to have addressed Juliet in such a form as if she was in fact real. Saying 'You're not real' instead of 'This isn't real' … rookie mistake, after all, this was her first ghost encounter.
Juliet stood as if she was frozen in place, "I'm sure you wish I wasn't." The venom in her voice was not missed by Kate.
"But …" Kate paused, looking over her shoulder towards the hall that led to Sawyer, she sighed, and then whispered, "But you're dead. I saw you're dead body." Images of Juliet lying in the dirt beside the van and Sawyer covering her lifeless body lovingly with a blanket flashed before her eyes. But then she also remembered Sayid waking from the dead. Could Juliet be alive again?
As if Juliet could read Kate's mind, she spoke up in her usual placid tone of voice, "Yes, you're right. I am dead."
"You're not real." Kate exclaimed and proceeded to turn around and leave the room. She was exhausted. The lack of sleep and the hurricane of hormones raging through her due to her pregnancy were causing her to have hallucinations. She was going to lie back down with her husband and enjoy what little time she had left to spend in the warmth of his arms. Some hallucination of Juliet was not going to keep her from James.
"Of course … Go. Run. After all, that's what you do best." Juliet's voice said quietly to Kate's retrieving form.
Those words stopped Kate dead in her tracks, turning back and walking closer towards the blond figure in front of her, Kate hissed, "You don't know me." Okay, so clearly she was either believing that Juliet was here or she was really losing her mind now. "Don't talk to me like you know anything about me."
"I know enough." Juliet spat back, but still with that aggravating monotone voice that had always grated on Kate's nerve. And on top of that, it instantly reminded her of Sawyer saying the exact same words to her earlier in the elevator, when she'd accused him of not knowing this island's secrets.
Kate stared at her. She wanted to run. She wanted to turn and leave and not think about Juliet, but that was exactly what would be expected. So Kate forced herself to stand still and not retrieve for once, ready to argue that Juliet did in fact not know her at all. Ready to prove her wrong.
But before Kate could even mouth a response to Juliet's stinging words, the blonde continued, "I know you were born and raised in Iowa. I know about your mother Diane. I know about your stepfather Wayne. I also know about your father Sam and I also know that he was not your real father. I also know who your real father was. I –"
Kate cut her off before she could say what she didn't want to ever hear spoken out loud again, "So you know about my family and where I grew up. That doesn't mean you know anything about me."
"I know you run from your problems, rather than dealing with them." Juliet said sternly, her eyes seemingly unblinking and trained on Kate's face. But Juliet continued, "Whenever something doesn't suit you, someone makes you uncomfortable or tests your loyalty, you run Kate. And that's a fact."
She snorted unladylike and unflattering at Juliet's words that hit just a little too close to home. It unnerved her that Juliet could be right, but then again, Kate didn't feel like she'd been that person for a while now, "I don't run anymore. It took me a while to get past my … my issues, but I don't run anymore Juliet." She turned again towards the door, "I'm going back to sleep."
"I'm not done talking to you." Juliet said quietly.
Kate looked over her shoulder, "But I'm done talking to you." And with that she walked out of the room, down the hall and back into the room where Sawyer was fast asleep.
She froze in the doorway, watching him sleep. Lying there all warm and inviting, but there was this nagging feeling that stopped her from crossing the room and settling back down in his arms.
This wasn't what she thought she'd say to her, not that she had ever really envisioned coming across Juliet's ghost. But this wasn't how she wanted to leave things with the blonde. She had a mere endless list of regrets that still haunted her from time to time. Things she could have done differently, things she didn't get to say … she didn't want to add one more thing to that list of regrets. Sighing, she turned back and walked back down the hall, wondering if she'd still be there.
As she stepped through the doorframe, Juliet came into view again. But this time Kate spoke up before Juliet could, "Look, I don't know why you're here. But there are some things I would like to say to you."
Juliet crossed her arms across her chest, nodding to suggest for Kate to go on.
Kate shuffled on her bare feet, trying to get her feet to stop itching with the need to get the hell out of there. She finally looked up and met the blondes' eyes, "I'm sorry you died." She swallowed hard, fighting back the lump in her throat, "I'm really sorry that happened to you. I'm sorry how it happened too. I should've just kept my mouth shut and let that sub leave the island." She paused and sighed deeply before she said, "I know he misses you."
That last sentence clearly caught Juliet of guard, and a tear rolled down her cheek.
Could ghosts cry? Kate wondered to herself in awe. Was Jack somewhere crying about them too?
Juliet looked away as she wiped at her cheeks, but then focused her attention back to her. "I loved him so much." She wiped another tear away, "I tried not to fall in love with him, but I did and I loved him so much." She paused for a moment. "I've loved other people. I've been in love before, you know. And I also know that if things had gone differently, I would've never fallen in love with James. If things had gone right, I would've left the island with Jack a very long time ago …" She chuckled at the thought, "… and I would've probably lived happily ever after. But … but things happened like they did, and I wished that I could change it and make it all un-happen, but I can't."
Kate nodded in agreement. Clearly Juliet held just as many regrets as Kate did. A strange thought occurred to her then. Wondering to herself if Juliet and her could've been friends in another life.
She waited for a moment for Juliet to regain her composure before she asked, "Why are you here Juliet? What do you want from me?"
Juliet swallowed the lump in her throat, and new determination crossed her face when she said matter-of-factly, "It wouldn't have changed anything."
Kate clearly didn't understand, "What-"
But Juliet cut her off before she could ask the question in full, "The sub! If you hadn't said anything and we had left the island …" She paused and a strangled sob left her throat.
Juliet remembered Sawyer's stern voice and the look of determination in his eyes when he told Kate that he'd made his choice to leave and he was sticking to it. A pang shot through Juliet and she shook her head, willing the unpleasant thoughts and memories to disappear, because she knew he was lying.
Juliet lifted her gaze to meet Kate's eyes, "They'd found Phil in our closet, they found the tape, they knew you and him had taken Ben out to the hostiles. They wanted to know where the hostiles lived. They wanted to know where you were. They were beating him, torturing him but he refused to tell them anything. They even threatened to kill him, but he wouldn't budge. He wouldn't say a word; instead he just took hit after hit to his face … even asked me not to say anything … for you."
Juliet stilled and Kate could see the disgust in Juliet's eyes. It flickered there just for a second, then it was gone again before she rambled on, "When they didn't get anywhere by beating on him, they turned on me. They only got to hit me once before Dr. Chang came barging in and said that the island needed to be evacuated. He's a quick thinker …"
Juliet smiled an actual smile and Kate wondered for a moment who she meant. Sawyer or Dr. Chang? But the unspoken question was answered when Juliet continued and said, "… guess it comes with the territory of having to lie about who you are and why you're here for three years. Anyway, so he agreed to draw them a map that would lead them to the others, if they agreed to put me and him on that sub. No doubt in my mind that the map he drew them would lead them anywhere but to the others."
Kate looked somewhat confused; she didn't understand how any of that had to do with her making them turn the sub around.
Juliet continued, trying hard to convey her thoughts with just a few chosen words, "So, yeah, we would've left that island, with or without you, but I've come to believe that his best intentions were to just get me home. To just get me out of there and to safety because he knew they would use me to get to him and inadvertently to you. He wanted me gone, so they couldn't use me to get to him. Does that make any sense?" she asked.
When Kate nodded her agreement, Juliet continued, "So if you hadn't been on that sub … if you had been left behind, he would've come back for you. But the fact that you were actually on that sub …" Her face grimaced in pain "… to him that was probably like the icing on the cake."
"I doubt that!" Kate snapped at Juliet, "He didn't look very thrilled when he saw me?" She took an unsure step towards Juliet and leaned her hip casually against a desk when she folded her arms across her chest, "Look, none of this even matters anymore … and the only person who truly knows what he was thinking or feeling or what his intentions were is James himself."
Juliet's sigh sounded exaggerated, and she shook her head as her eyes scanned the ceiling in an attempt to not have to look at Kate for a moment, "You just don't get it, do you? What was he suppose to do? It's not like he could jump up and down with joy that you were safe too. He tried his best to keep up his pretense of irritation. And yes, he would've never agreed to stop the sub and go back, because he had both of us by his side … but, he wasn't going to let either one of us leave that sub and go back to that island without him, and you know that's the truth, Kate. So I took matters into my own hands, not just to stop Jack, but to take the weight of the decision of his shoulders. I wasn't going to sit around and wait for you to make your escape and then watch him follow you and chose you over me. And I knew he would've chosen you."
Kate swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat, clearly thinking over everything that Juliet had said. She didn't know whether she should be happy about his undying love for her, or whether she should question and argue with Juliet to give her some sort of … solace. He had and probably still loved Juliet too. But before Kate could make up her mind and decide on what to respond, Juliet spoke up.
"So you see, it wouldn't have made a difference."
Kate thought about it, but it didn't take her long to realize that Juliet was wrong, "Of course it would've made a difference, Juliet. If I hadn't gotten on that sub and if I hadn't talked you into turning the thing around and going back to the island with me to stop Jack … well, if I hadn't done any of that then you'd still be alive. You would be alive, Juliet." She repeated to emphasize her point, "And I wish … I'm so sorry."
Juliet didn't take very long to respond, as if this was a no-brainer. Her mind was made up about every different scenario that would've or could've played out and she said solemnly, "It wouldn't have made a difference, because I would've lost him either way. Because he was never completely mine to begin with. Even if he would've stayed with me, I would've forever been his second choice."
"You don't know that. You don't know what he would've done. Maybe he would've forgotten all about me. Maybe he would've never set foot on this island again and maybe you and he would've lived happily ever after … and …" She couldn't believe she was saying all these things, trying to convince her arch nemesis that she'd been loved by James. "… Can't you just accept that he loved you? That he truly loved you!"
Her chin quivered when she fought not to cry again, "I know he did. I know he loved me … he just didn't love me enough to get over you."
Kate didn't say anything at that, too exhausted from trying to convince Juliet that James had loved her. She knew he had, she'd seen his grief stricken face and the tears in his eyes after Juliet had died. She knew he had and probably still did have true feelings for the blonde woman in front of her. Kate actually had to refrain herself from smiling at the grave irony of the situation. What the hell was she doing here talking to Juliet's ghost anyhow? This was all but pointless, wasn't it?
Kate sighed loudly, then finally retorted Juliet's statement that he didn't love her enough, "You don't know that either."
Juliet sighed herself and said, "I'm dead because of what I did. If I hadn't changed my mind to help Jack instead of stopping him, then I'd probably still be alive. So you can stop blaming yourself, Kate."
Kate's eyes shone with curiosity, "Why did you change your mind?"
Juliet spoke up again, "I saw him look at you."
Kate semi shrugged at the remark, not entirely understanding the weight that this statement carried for Juliet.
Juliet held her gaze on the brunette who was standing just a few feet away, "Not just once, a few times actually." Juliet let out a patronizing chuckle that didn't carry to her eyes, "He thought he was being subtle about it …" She shook her head again, then added, "He wasn't."
Kate felt the overwhelming need to defend him again, even though in the logic scheme of things it really made no sense at all, but she couldn't help herself. Her tone was quiet end placid, when she sadly recalled her side of the story, "Well … I saw the way he looked at you. And I don't remember him giving me any looks worth noting.
Juliet tried to smile, but then her lips quivered when the smile was replaced with a frown, "That's because he was more concerned that you would notice him looking at you then he was with me catching him doing it."
Kate heard the words, but didn't really understand what she was implying.
Juliet noted the confused expression that flooded Kate's face, trying her best to stifle the sobs and stopping any more tears from welling in her blue eyes, she said, "I think he was scared that you would see right through him the way did … and then everything would fall apart because of it. See, when I confronted him about it … when I told him that I saw him looking at you, he merely shrugged it off as if it was nothing. He said that it didn't matter who he looked at and that he was with me now."
Kate couldn't stop the pang in her heart as Juliet's words registered in her mind. Had he actually said that!
Juliet's frown deepened when she added, "But I knew he didn't mean it. He said it with such intensity in his eyes, his voice sounding almost so … so determined … it was so unlike the way he usually spoke. He put on his best show, his best attempt to make it sound and look real, but all that did was proving to me that he was lying."
"And when I saw that look in his eyes, I was even more convinced that helping Jack was the right thing to do. Because I think he was trying to convince himself with his own words more than he was trying to convince me. See, he honestly believed that he would've stayed with me, just because he knew that I loved him and he loved me too, and because of that he would've stayed with me. But when you came back … it became clear as day that I wasn't his first choice. Every time I caught him looking at you I could see the regret in his eyes. The regret of letting you go. The regret of not trying as hard with you as he'd been trying with me. The regret of not fighting for you." Her eyes narrowed and another sob left her throat, "And the regret that he was stuck with me."
She locked her eyes on Kate once again, "So I told him that we weren't meant to be together, because I just couldn't go on like that. I had spent three years on that island with him. For three years I was trying my best … trying so hard to step out of your shadow. And I have to hand it to him; he tried really hard himself to be a better man for me. And he was … is a good man. But the truth is … the truth is …" her voice died down, the words just wouldn't come and she frowned deeply, clearly fighting back tears again.
"Do you have any idea how it feels to love a man, to share your life with him, to really try being happy with him, but to have this constant feeling that every time he looked at you, every time he –"She sobbed and wiped the tears that spilled before she managed to carry on what she was saying, "Every time he touched you, you knew he was wishing you were someone else? Do you have any idea how that feels?"
Kate didn't really know how to respond to that. She should be happy that Sawyer loved her this much, and she'd felt so much hatred towards Juliet on so many different occasions. Of the top of her head she could easily come up with countless reason why she should hate her … but right now, she felt truly sorry for her. And a distant memory of Jack came to mind, wondering if Jack had felt the same way Juliet had felt?
Distancing herself from the thought of Jack, she shook her head, because she truly didn't know what it had been like for Juliet. She did however realize that if Juliet was right, she actually knew what Sawyer had been feeling … to some degree at least. Because she too had put her best foot forward and tried so hard to be the woman that Jack needed her to be. All the while waking up from a dream in the middle of the night, a dream so vivid that she could've sworn it was real until she turned around and saw Jack sleeping beside her. She knew what it was like to squeeze her eyes shut tightly and imagining Sawyer was kissing her and not Jack. She knew what it was like to wish that the person with you was in fact somebody else altogether. The polar opposite of the person that was with you.
When Juliet remained quiet Kate dared a look over her shoulder. He was down that hall, all hard muscles and warm arms and comforting hands that would snake around her and keep her safe. She felt the sudden urge to cut this conversation short. She needed to get back to him, to his arms and wake him up and kiss him and tell him a million I-love-you's to make up for all the times she'd been too afraid to say it out loud to him. For all those missed chances and regrets … for all that, she'd do it now.
But as if Juliet could read her mind or somehow sense that she was ready to bolt back into his arms, she spoke up again, "I made a mistake." She announced with regret in her voice.
Kate waited with her eyes trained on Juliet to continue.
"I think I'm to blame for him coming back to the Island." She said and was well aware of the hurt expression that fell over Kate's face.
Kate could feel her heartbeat quicken at Juliet's words. She'd wondered if his guilt over Juliet's death had anything to do with him being here. She'd contemplated that notion in her head over and over and over again, wondering if protecting this island was Sawyers way of punishing himself for what he thought he'd done to Juliet.
Kate closed her eyes, fighting back her own tears now as she remembered him sitting next to her on the pier. She could clearly hear his voice in her head, "It's my fault she's dead, not yours. She was sitting right there – right where you are now – trying to leave this place. And I convinced her to stay. I made her stay on this island 'cause I didn't wanna be alone. You understand that, right? But … but I think some of us are meant to be alone."
Sudden realization made Kate gasp when his words echoed in her head once more, "Some of us are meant to be alone."
Anger began to rise in her at the thought that he'd left her because he couldn't get over Juliet's death. Red hot boiling anger rushed over her instantly, when she remembered all those times in L.A. when she had that nagging feeling that he was still mourning Juliet. And that nagging feeling had kept her from letting anything happen between him and her.
And wasn't it him who'd kissed her back on that couch in Miles' apartment? And wasn't it him who'd accused her of running, even though he was supposedly ready for more? And wasn't it him who'd left that ridiculous heart wrenching and incredibly romantic outgoing message on his cell phone, for all the world to hear that he still loved someone named Freckles? And wasn't it him who'd popped the question in the most inappropriate moment she could think of? Wasn't it him who'd done all of those things?
Her heart ached.
And wasn't it me who still had doubts about him being truly over Juliet, but had kissed him anyways? Wasn't it me who pushed that doubt away after hearing his confession of love and leaped right into his arms and his bed and let him push that ring onto my finger without a second to even think about it? Wasn't it me who should've known better and follow my instincts? Wasn't that all me?
Juliet cleared her throat to recapture Kate's attention, "He shouldn't be here."
The anger sizzled down at the sound of Juliet's voice. At least they both agreed on one thing. "I know."
"He was supposed to be able to go home. I agreed to Jack's plan because I wanted him to go home. I wanted to have never met him, never have to lose him and for him to never come to this place. But now he's stuck here on this island, and I think it's because of something I said. Something I confided in him a very long time ago."
Kate found herself confused once again. What? She thought but didn't actually say it. It wasn't the burden of her death but something Juliet had told him that kept him here?
"What did you tell him? What did you say to him?" The anger rising again, but this time it was directed at Juliet. Still, Kate tried her best to keep her voice low so she wouldn't wake him up.
All the sympathy she'd felt for the woman just moments ago had all but vanished into thin air. Could something Juliet has said make him think that this place was his destiny? What the hell was going on here? Was she about to finally find out why he was here … and hearing it from Juliet of all people? "Do you know why he's here?"
"I can't tell you that." Came Juliet's answer, and after getting her hopes up to hear them getting crushed once again, Kate had reached the end of her rope.
"I'm done." Kate said as she shook her head. "I'm just done. I can't do this anymore. I'm done debating about who loved who the most. I'm done wondering what might've or could've or should've been. It's breaking my heart that he's staying here and talking to you about it isn't helping me at all. In fact, it's somehow making me feel even worse and I really thought that couldn't be possible, but it is. I'm gonna leave you now and … and I'm sorry that you've had this much heartache in your short life and … this, whatever this is, this afterlife. I'm truly sorry that …" She wiped a tear away. "I'm just sorry. Period!"
And with that Kate turned on her heel and had just past the doorframe when Juliet called after her, "Wait."
Kate tried to ignore the pleading tone of Juliet's voice and kept on walking, although her steps were small and slow, not completely sure she was ready to leave herself, because maybe Juliet would tell her why he was here. And when Juliet spoke up again, "Kate, please wait. Just hear me out. Please." Her voice almost loud enough that Kate feared it would wake him, she finally stopped, rolled her eyes – more at herself then at Juliet's begging – and slowly began to retrace her steps back to the room.
Kate stopped short in the doorframe, waiting for Juliet to say something that wouldn't make her regret that she came back for the second time.
Juliet seemed uncertain as she fidgeted with her hands and Kate realized that she'd actually never seen Juliet like this. Unsure. Yeah, that was the word.
Juliet was exactly that. Unsure. She knew just enough to believe in the power this place held, and then also found herself struggling with disbelieve too. So now she wasn't entirely sure what she was going to say without telling Kate the truth that she knew was true. She didn't want him to be stuck here. She wanted him to leave, even if it meant that Kate might get sick again.
She was completely selfish at this point. She refused to accept that she'd died in vain for a man that threw his life away to save Kate's instead. And even though she had a distinctive dislike for Kate, she had a feeling that if Kate knew the truth she'd fight come hell or high water to get him off this island too.
She knew if she could get Kate to understand and realize what he'd done without actually breaking the laws of the island … well, if she could do that, then she was sure to find an ally in the most unlikely person.
She would find an ally in Kate to get James off this hellhole once and for all.
Think, Juliet … think! She could feel Kate's eyes on her, clearly waiting for something, anything to come out of her mouth.
Juliet swallowed hard and finally looked up from her fidgeting hands, "Did James ever tell you that I have a sister?"
'If you really love him, Kate, then you'll get him off this island and never let him come back!' Juliet's last words before she literally disappeared right before Kate's eyes kept replaying in her head.
Kate sat on the edge of the chair she'd pulled in front of the sofa where he was still fast asleep. She swallowed the lump in her throat and fought the unbearable urge to shake him awake and yell at him. To confront him with what she now knew, or thought she knew. But he would deny it all, he would lie, no doubt that he would. But would she be able to read the lie in his eyes and know then for sure? Would it be worth the fight for some sort of confirmation? Even if that confirmation came only by the betraying look in his eyes?
Juliet had told her all about her sister being sick with cancer. And that the cancer had gone in complete remission, because she'd been 'summoned' to this island by Ben and in return Jacob had cured her sister. And at one point during her stay with the others Ben had insinuated that she'd have to stay now, because that's how things worked.
It wasn't hard for Kate to figure out why Juliet had told her this story. Kate was connecting the dots; one by one while Juliet wasn't even finished yet. It all hit too close to home. It all sounded so incredibly similar to her own situation, - hell, she was even pregnant like Juliet's sister had been at the time. And of course, Kate couldn't refrain from asking her to her face if she wasn't sick anymore because James was here. But Juliet ignored the question as if she'd never asked, and to Kate's frustration just rambled on about her sister and the island.
Kate thought about it and thought about and thought about while she watched him sleep. Juliet hadn't said it, nor had she even mentioned to have any kind of knowledge that Kate herself had been sick not too long ago, but she hadn't seemed surprised either when Kate blurted it out to her. However, Juliet had stayed on task, and only talked about what had happened to her sister and her. She simply refused to take Kate's bait.
But still that feeling of clarity that overwhelmed Kate now was just undeniable. There was no doubt in her mind anymore what Juliet had tried to insinuate by telling her all of that.
The only thing she didn't understand was how and when James had found out that she was sick. He seemed so angry with her when she'd told him at the beach on Hydra Island. Was all of that just for show? He'd known all along and had been lying to her all along?
Kate frowned and pushed her untamable hair out of her face, locking her fingers on top of her head as she lowered her head in frustration.
Why? Why did he do this?
She knew why he'd done it. She knew now that he'd left her and Clementine and everyone else behind to save her life. To make her healthy again.
Oh god, this can't be really happening to me, Kate thought to herself.
She was touched. No, touched wasn't even a strong enough word to describe how this made her feel. Trying to decipher the feeling as if that would somehow solve the dilemma she dug deep and allowed those emotions to surface. But then she realized that she wasn't touched at all … no, she was angry.
She blinked tears away and wiped at her cheeks when the droplets rolled down her cheeks quickly. He was doing it again, she realized. In the proverbially sense he was kneeling in the muck and dirt once again with a gun trained to his skull, willing to take the bullet without a fight just so they wouldn't do the same to her.
She closed her eyes when the memory of that moment flooded over her.
"You let go, or I do her too!"
"Let go!"
"Don't you let go! Don't you think about it, Sawyer, you fight! No! Sawyer, NO!"
"No, No! Sawyer, PLEASE! You get your hands off of him!"
"Get on your knees!"
"PLEASE! I'LL DO ANYTHING YOU WANT!"
Determination crossed her face and she whispered, "I'll do anything."
The sound of her voice made him steer in his sleep. He felt blindly around, and when he felt nothing where she'd been, he opened his eyes. Sleepily he blinked at first but then when he noticed the tear streaked cheeks, he propped himself up and asked in a husky, sleepy voice, "Are you crying?"
Kate had been wiping at her face, trying her best to conceal that she'd been crying when she realized he was about to wake up. Now she was just at a loss for words. She had a million things she wanted to say to him, most of it she wanted to scream at him, but when he awoke rather unexpectedly she was dumbstruck.
She hadn't figured out a tactic yet. Hadn't had time to really think what she was going to say. Physically he was way too big and strong, so in that sense she didn't stand a chance to overpower him and force him to turn that stupid wheel himself. And aside from all that, he was also the most stubborn person she'd ever come across, Jack wasn't even in Sawyer's category of stubbornness she let herself realize, and that was saying something.
So what's a girl to do when the man she loves with all of her heart looks at her like that? All warm and inviting, with concern in his eyes and asking her if she was crying?
Unprepared to face him head on with her newfound knowledge, she just nodded in response to his question. A loud sob left her throat as she tried to hide her crying face from him in both her hands.
"Ah, shit." He mumbled under his breath and came to a sitting position on the couch. His hands reached out to hers, trying to pull her hands from her face, trying to get her to look at him. But she wouldn't have any of it … she was clearly overwhelmed with all these different emotions and the fact that she was pregnant didn't help the situation in the least.
So he tried to pull her to him, mumbling sweet words of comfort and reassurance into her ear but Kate struggled against him. She didn't want to be held by him … she was furious, she wanted to beat him, slap him for being so incredibly stupid, for doing something so stupid. But her body wasn't as strong as her mind was. The flesh was weak. So it was only a matter of time before he'd succeeded in the task of wrapping her in his arms, and holding her crying and shaking body to his. He kissed her sweetly on her forehead and let his lips linger there while he ran a comforting hand up and down her back.
He kept on running his hand up and down her back and seemed even more encouraged when her sobs died down and she was beginning to regain control of herself again.
What came next was so … so typical Sawyer. With a lighthearted tone of voice he said, "Works like a charm, doesn't it? Like mother like son."
Kate stiffened at his words, trying hard to find the meaning behind it and trying even harder to fight the urge to raise her head and ask him what the hell that was supposed to mean.
But he clearly didn't have the patience to wait 'till she asked what he'd meant, so without further ado he went on to explain, "When I was watching Aaron by myself, he had one of those tantrums you had warned me about. So I did this. Held him just like this and rubbed his back, over and over again, he stopped crying and eventually was out for the count."
Oh god, why did he have to be so impossibly sweet right at this moment? On any other day he seems to find a hundred different ways to get on her nerves … but how can you stay angry with a man that held your baby like this and soothed him to sleep? How?
It took a lot out of her to keep the pretense going. Every fiber in her body wanted to yell and scream and even hit him and then drag him to that stupid wheel and force him some way, somehow to turn it. But she didn't do any of those things; instead she took some deep breaths and put on a brave face, aka a happy face.
He'd just assumed that she'd cried because of their upcoming separation and she'd gone along with it, nodded in agreement.
So here she was, straddling him on the couch, face to face with the conman – the liar – himself and he wanted to make out again … correction, he wanted to do more than just make out. He wanted her … all of her, but let's just say something had ruined the mood for Kate. And this was something she couldn't pretend.
"No," he repeated giving her the stupidest look Kate had ever seen before. He acted like she'd never said that word to him before.
"That's right. No," she repeated.
She had to think about all of this. Really, really think about this and she couldn't do this with him talking and touching and kissing and loving her … but at the same time, she didn't want to fight with him either, not until she knew what she was going to say to him. So she quickly had to come up with a plan to get rid of him, just for a few moments so that she could gather her thoughts and decide on what to do now.
Granted, the diversion she'd created was probably the lamest one in the books but it had worked none the less. She had to give him her pouty face and begged him like a child wanting candy, but she knew he'd buy it and be a sucker for the whole pregnancy-cravings-thing. And of course, she was extremely tired too, and the growing Ford was to blame for that as well. Resulting in him leaving with a heavy sigh and the walky-talky and letting her catch up on some sleep.
So here she was with the Orchid Station all to herself and Sawyer out there in the jungle trying his best imitation of a monkey in search for some fresh and ripe mangos to soothe that 'unbearable' craving she suddenly had.
She was lying down on the couch, her legs slightly bend, with her fingers locked over her stomach and staring up at the ceiling while trying to think of what to do. How was she going to convince him to leave?
She had the overwhelming suspicion that if she told him that she knew why he was here it wouldn't lead to the ending she was hoping for. But on the other hand she was just tired of the lies and secrets too.
Kate came to the conclusion that Sawyer seemed to believe the cancer would return if he'd leave the island for good, otherwise he wouldn't be so incredibly relentless in his determination to stay here.
But then again, it didn't entirely add up. Because Juliet had tried to leave, hadn't she? According to Juliet, she'd begged Ben time and again to let her leave. And Juliet was supposed to leave with Jack on the submarine that John had blown up. And after that, she was trying to leave and get rescued with all of them when Naomi and the freighter had arrived. Not to mention when her and James were going to leave on that sub in 1977.
So what did all of that mean? Did Juliet not care that her sister would get sick again? It didn't make any sense to Kate what Juliet had been thinking and she wished she could somehow summon the blonde for some sort of Q&A at the moment. She had wandered down the hall to that room earlier and called out for Juliet, but to no avail. She was gone and it didn't look like she was going to come back to talk this all over with her.
This mission Juliet had left her with; - to get James off the island – it was simply impossible. Frustrated Kate realized that there was probably nothing she could do to change his mind, but she was still going to try. There was just no scenario that she could picture in her head that would lead to him being the one turning that wheel and leaving the island.
When she heard the sound of the elevator beginning to go up again, she let out another frustrated sigh.
She had made a decision. She'd made up my mind.
Moments passed before the elevator began to slowly come down again. When it stopped and she heard the doors open, her heart began to race wildly in her chest.
Kate knew she was going to have the fight of her life with her husband, because she'd decided that if he wasn't going to leave, she would have to stay here with him.
Kate had lied about craving mangoes, but after she took the first bite she realized that the lie hadn't been entirely untrue. The mangoes were simply delicious and she devoured them as if she hadn't eaten in days.
Sawyer was watching her eat with a satisfied smile on his face, "You know, Freckles, you can slow down there, ain't nobody's trying to take those mangoes from you, Sweetheart."
She wiped some juice off her chin with the back of her hand, looked up at him and said, "They're really good."
His smile grew wider, "Almost broke my damn neck trying to get those suckers for you." He leaned back and stretched his arms overhead for a moment before he slumped down comfortably beside her again, "I'm just glad you weren't cravin' ice cream."
She smiled at him, shook her head and with a bite full of mangoes in her mouth said, "Don't mention ice cream!"
He laughed, then slung an arm around her waist and pulled her closer to him, grinning and flashing his dimples, "Now, how grateful are you that I got you those mangoes and let you nap for a bit?"
She rolled her eyes before she took another bite of the mangoes but didn't actually answer him.
Chewing deliberately slowly while racking her brain how she could change the subject from mango cravings and sex to 'hey-by-the-way-honey-I'm-staying-on-the-island-with-you'!
She swallowed the last of her mango and turned towards him, giving him no choice but to loosen the tight grip he had around her waist. Her heart began to race again, but she put on a bright fake smile and said, "Alright, I've got a proposition for you."
He raised both eyebrows and smirked back at her, intrigued by her choice of words, "A proposition, huh? Can't wait to hear this one!"
She couldn't help the light shade of pink that once again crept to her cheeks. It was inevitable, she just wasn't the kind of person to make propositions like this without blushing, "I was thinking."
She paused and swallowed, her heart was racing and she wondered if he could tell, "How about we make it interesting and play a round of 'I never'?"
His face turned somber, but before he could reject her idea she held up her hand and explained, "I know I can't drink, James. I was thinking more along the lines of strip-I-never." Heat raced to her face once again after that sentence had left her lips and she could see the smirk creep back on his face.
"Strip-I-never?" he asked with mischief in his eyes, "Hell, Freckles, that's the best idea, if I ever heard one."
"Okay then." She said biting her lip. That was easy enough, she thought. "You think we have enough time though?"
"Enough time? Absolutely, it's still mid-day and the big boss man said it will be long after nightfall before it'll be time for you to place your bets and spin the wheel." He let go of her and clapped his hands together, then gestured towards her to start, "Ladies first."
Kate got up off the couch and sat down in the chair across from Sawyer instead, but he immediately protested, "Hey, what the hell're you doin'?"
She pulled her legs up and hugged them in front of herself, resting her chin innocently on her knees and smiled at him when she said, "It's strip-I-never, James, not touch-I-never."
"Right!" he exclaimed with a hint of disappointment in his voice, then waved his hand again but this time more aggressively and said, "Come on then, Freckles, let's get this show on the road. Throw your first 'I never' at me, but make it a good one."
"Alright, alright … let me think." She said while she appeared to be deep in thought. "I never …" she drawled "… lived in Tennessee."
"Really?" He gave her a disappointed look.
"What?" she gave him a shrug.
"I ain't complaining …" He began to untie one boot to take it off. "… but if this is how we're playing we'll be in our birthday suits in no time, honey." He grinned at her and winked, "Maybe next we can play 'touch-I-never'?"
He licked his lips and eyed her sheepishly, then said, "I never lived in Iowa."
Kate rolled her eyes at him and sighed, and since she had already taken her boots off earlier to lie on the couch she now pulled off one of her socks while he smiled across from her and untied his other boot. She was just about to ask what he was doing, but then she remembered that he had once lived in Iowa when he was conning Cassidy.
It was her turn and she tried hard to think of something good this time, "I never pretended to be dead." At least not yet, she thought.
He watched her for a moment clearly thinking about something and waiting, but when she didn't move to take any clothing off he said, "You know, you had Joanna's passport and were gonna -."
"Doesn't count." She cut him off, "I never got to use it." And with a hint of sarcasm she added, "Thanks to you."
With a sigh Sawyer reached for his left sock and pulled it off, then slumped back on the couch again, eyed her wearily and said, "I never been featured on Americas Most Wanted."
She scoffed at him, but none the less pulled off her other sock and threw it in the slowly growing pile on the floor between them.
She stared at him for a long moment, with a hint of amusement she said, "I never thought that – after we first met – that I'd end up marrying you."
She didn't undress and he let out a soft chuckle but didn't remove any clothing either.
"Guess it wasn't love at first sight, Freckles!" Kate couldn't help but giggle at that.
He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and looked at her with amusement of his own, determined to steer the heat a bit he said, "I never read the same letter over and over again because I wanted to understand someone better and not feel so damn guilty about my sexual attraction to said …" he waives his hand gesturing to himself "…someone."
She looked away and slightly shook her head for a moment when her cheeks blushed again, and a grin spread across his face when she started to unbutton her shirt and eventually removed it.
He leaned back on the couch again and crossed his arms over his chest, "Might not been love, but I knew you wanted me."
"Shut up, James." She spat back, before she said, "I never acted like an asshole just to secure my spot on a raft because I was too scared of the feelings that I had for someone I barely knew and I just had to get the hell away from her."
He scoffed mumbling a curse under his breath before he pulled off his other sock.
Satisfied she smiled at him but was instantly fearful what he might say next.
He looked as if deep in thought before he licked his lips and his dimples began to show when he raised his eyebrows in devilish delight and said, "I never pretended not to like what I saw when I first saw you naked."
Rolling her eyes she looked down at what she was wearing, and without much thought decided to pull her tank top off over her head, leaving her with nothing but her bra and blue-jeans.
"Now we're getting somewhere." Sawyer exclaimed clearly liking that this game was beginning to get interesting, and then he looked at Kate to see what she had on her mind next.
"I never walked out of the water completely naked just to provoke someone and to show off my … goods."
"My goods?" Sawyer chuckled at her choice of words, then smiled wide as he began to unbutton his own shirt, "Well, it never hurts to lay the cards or … the goods on the table sometime." He shot her a look, as he threw his shirt in the pile now, sitting there bare-chested, "Keep it up and you'll get another good look at those goods, darlin'."
It was Sawyers turn and he seemed to take a moment to really think of something good. With an intriguing look in his eyes, he chose his words carefully when he said, "I never thought about what it would be like to make love to you…" He cocked his head to the side and smiled before adding, "…following our first kiss."
She hesitated, and he did too as they assessed each other's reaction carefully. Finally, with a heavy sigh Kate gave in and stood up first, her hand reaching to the button of her pants when he stood up too and reached for his. His eyes never leaving hers and she couldn't hold back any longer and began to let that smile show on her face and with it breaking the sudden tension that had somehow build around them.
Kate undid her zipper when Sawyer suddenly closed his button again, reached in his back-pocket and threw the folded up letter on the pile instead of his jeans.
Kate stopped with her pants undone, "You can't do that. That's not a piece of clothing, James."
"It's on my person." He said innocently when he sat back down.
"In that case." Kate quipped back as she pulled her zipper up and closed her button again; she reached into her back pocket and presented the top of the pile with the ultrasound printout of their baby.
Both of them stared at the picture for a moment and the tension seemed to fill the room even thicker this time.
Kate was contemplating her next words as she felt it was time to turn this game into the direction she'd intended it to go when she proposed it. With sorrow in her eyes she said, "I never loved anyone like I love you."
His eyes and face grew serious, matching hers when neither of them moved to undress anything at first, but then both stood simultaneously, fished something out of their pockets and added it wordlessly to the pile.
He swallowed the lump in his throat; his eyes trained on hers when he said, "I never will love anyone like I love you."
Silence engulfed them both for a long moment. The air thick with guilt and broken promises, but then Sawyer retrieved a lighter and Kate presented a pocketknife to the small heap of discarded items between them.
Kate realized that her moment had come. The moment of truth. It was now or never. She tried to get her racing heartbeat under control. Tried her best to not shake like a leaf at the pure jolt of fear that was creeping through her at the thought of the fight she knew was about to begin.
She cleared her throat and looked right at him when she said, "I never gave up everything and everyone I cared about and came back to this island, just so that the person that I love wouldn't die of cancer."
Kate watched him intently for a reaction, and was clearly surprised because he wasn't fuming and yelling right away. For some reason she had expected him to yell, after all, that's how he dealt with things he didn't want to talk about. He yelled and got mad and picked a fight to avoid the actual topic at hand. In this case, it would be the fact that he'd been lying to her all along. He lied.
But none of that happened. None of the yelling and stupid accusations happened and Kate could feel cold sweat running down her bare back, suddenly realizing that she'd never seen him this angry before, too angry to even yell!
He averted his eyes, stared at the pile of shoes and clothing and the ultrasound picture between them. She could tell he was clenching his teeth by the way his jaw was set. She could see his chest heaving up and down; he was clearly fighting to gain control of his own breathing. He clenched his fists by his side, and the pulse point on his neck was visibly quickening.
Hell, he looked like he was about to turn green and let out a roar that could be heard all the way back to the barracks. Like the Hulk in Aaron's comic books that Miles had bought for him.
She sat there for a moment, waiting for him to say something … anything really. She'd prepared herself for his yells and screams, but the silence was something she didn't know how to handle. She almost preferred the yelling over this, because she didn't really know what she was supposed to say next. She wanted him to say something, anything. Even a stupid lie coming from his mouth would be better than him not speaking at all. After all, a lie she could work with. A lie she could counter with an argument, a comment, but what was she supposed to say now when he wasn't saying anything on the matter.
And just when she thought he would never speak, he did just that. His voice was gruff, lazed with so much anger and he wouldn't look at her when he finally sneered, "Who told you?"
Oh god … it was true. It was true and he wasn't even going to deny it! He wasn't even trying to lie to her!
Her heart broke!
Tears spilled freely from her eyes within seconds and a loud sob left her throat when he asked her again, "Who told you Kate?"
Kate. How she hated it when he called her that.
She shook her head and wiped at her face and mumbled, "No one."
That seemed to surprise him because his head jerked up and he actually looked at her, almost as if he was trying to read her expression, trying to see if she was lying to him.
Her eyes met his and she could see the unspoken question reflected in them. Her voice broke when she tried to answer him, "I-I … I figured it out myself."
"How?" he snapped.
"Does it matter?" she asked back between tears and sobs waving her hand in the air. "I just did … Nobody told me, James."
He looked away now and let out a breath he had been holding, sighing somewhat relieved.
Again the sickening silence, how she hated it. It literally made her nauseous; it just seemed to suck all the oxygen out of the room!
Okay, she thought. She knew now that it was true. He'd confirmed it. And he knew that she knew it too. The worst was over now, wasn't it?
She had her mind set on staying. Kate would not leave here without him. She didn't know where she found the strength to pull herself together, but she did. She wiped at her tears and took a deep breath before she spoke, "I'm not doing this."
Such an open ended statement worded just so to coax him into wondering what she meant. Coaxing him into asking what she was talking about.
And he did, "You're not doing what?" He seemed relieved to change the subject, yet clearly unsure where this conversation was going now that the truth was out.
She cleared her throat and looked right at him, nervously fidgeting with her hands, "I'm not moving the island, James. I'm not leaving."
He leaned forward, his blue eyes meeting her green ones, searching for the right words, his voice was strangely calm when he said, "Don't, Kate."
Kate again!
"Don't call me that." She spat back at him, not even acknowledging that he'd said more than just called her by her given name.
And just like that his temper flared up and his calm demeanor changed to his usual angry tone, clearly looking for a fight of some sort, "Fine, its Freckles then." He took in a breath, "Don't, Freckles." He repeated and then quickly added, "Hurley's counting on you to do this. You have to move the island. You have to leave, you're not staying and that's that."
She stood up, towering over him still sitting on the couch, "That's that?" she asked waving her hand in the air. "I want to stay here with you and that's all you have to say."
He quickly came to his feet himself, clearly not liking to be towered over and being talked down to, "Yeah, that's that. You're not staying."
"You can't make me leave." Her hands on her hips, staring up at him, the challenge in her eyes, "What are you gonna do about it, James? You can't force me to turn that stupid wheel any more then I could force you to do it."
Son of a bitch … she was right, he thought.
He rubbed a hand up and down his face, fighting an inner battle between getting really pissed off and really amused by her antics. He turns his face to avoid her eyes as he's trying to keep the smile from showing. She was something else, he thought.
He really didn't want her to stay. He really thought she would be better of far away from this place. But at the same time she was fighting for him. Fighting to stay with him and … damn it, if she wasn't the cutest sight half-naked in just her bra and jeans staring up at him as if she was preparing for a fist fight to go down any minute. He dared a glance towards her hands and sure enough they were balled up into tight little fists. She was ready to throw a punch. He rubbed his jaw as the memory of her elbow connecting with him suddenly crossed his mind.
Fuck!
Pretending to be angry he turned away, he had to or she would've seen him smile. He rubbed his hand once again over his scruffy face, trying to will that stupid grin away so he could argue his point with her.
The baby! He just had to focus on the baby and not on her firecracker attitude that he'd dreamed of on his cold lonely nights before she'd gotten here.
His jaw set in a scowl, he turned towards her, ready for the debate to begin. "I don't care if I have to tie your ass to that damn wheel and give it a kick to make it fucking spin, but you're going, babe. No ifs or buts about it. So yeah, Freckles, that's fucking that!"
She didn't budge, as a matter of fact, she might've even gotten closer to him, her hip now cocked to one side with her arms crossed in front of her, "I'd like to see you try."
God, the attitude that had seemed so sexy to him just a second ago now started to grind his nerves … mainly because she was right, he couldn't really force her to do it.
And so the argument's started flying.
"The Island has to be moved."
"Then you better call home and have them send Frank up here, 'cause I'm not moving it."
"Damn it, girl. There ain't no time; Frank ain't got no papers and nothin' ready."
"Frank doesn't need fake papers, James. He's allowed to leave California and travel wherever he pleases."
Sawyer groaned in annoyance and then said, "The baby. This ain't no place to have a baby. You can't have the baby here."
"Claire did."
"Claire got lucky. What if something goes wrong?" he paused for effect and looked at her, "There ain't no preemie care here, no fucking hospital with nurses and baby-doctors and nic-units and stuff."
"Women have been having babies without doctors for a long time, James. And besides, Dr. Cross is here, and … I like her."
"You're not staying."
"Yes, I am. You better call Frank."
He let out another groan, "I'll just put you on the next sub then, Freckles."
"Then I'll just come back again on one of Penny's subs. I've found my way back here twice, I'm sure I can do it again and again."
"Freckles." Was all he said, his pleading voice had clearly lost some of the determination as he looked at her with sad eyes and shook his head, "This ain't never gonna work."
She fought the onslaught of emotions when she realized she had one foot in the door. She wiped a tear away quickly as she looked up at him with newfound hope and strength, "Just hear me out, James. Just let me talk and … just let me say what I have to say and then you can nit-pick and argue everything, but just let me say something."
He sighed defeated, and then nodded for her to go on, but he seemed unsure none the less.
Kate took a deep breath, ready to plead her case in front of the grand jury consisting of only Sawyer. She obviously hadn't practiced an actual speech, but she knew deep down of all the things she felt for him, all the things she never said and under different circumstances would probably never ever say to him out loud. But she had nothing left to lose anymore. Aaron wasn't her son. Clementine was not her daughter.
But James is her husband and this baby is theirs to raise together. She'd always believed that she could never have anything good. She was Wayne's daughter and therefore she would never have anything good and she would never find true happiness.
But happiness was standing right in front of her and part of that happiness was growing inside of her. And she would fight for it, for both of them, come hell or high water. She wasn't going to throw in the towel, she wasn't going to cut and run anymore.
For once in her life Kate was going to fight to stay.
"You know, I know what it's like to want to die." Kate sat back down in her chair and put her legs up once again, hugging them, "How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in, but you can't. How you try to hurt yourself on the outside, to try to kill the thing on the inside."
James wearily sat down too, but kept his eyes trained on her.
Kate continued, "I sat on those front porch steps and I could smell the gas oozing from the house behind me. He still wasn't home and for a moment I thought that maybe this was my fate, not his. Maybe I'm supposed to die, not him. So I squeezed my eyes shut, said a little prayer and lit the lighter that was in my hand, but nothing happened. So I lit it again, and again nothing happened. And suddenly I wasn't even scared anymore and lit it over and over, again and again … but nothing happened and I was still here when he finally pulled up." She paused and held Sawyers gaze, "But I'm not that person anymore. So many things have happened. So many people got hurt, so many have died. I don't want to feel sorry for myself anymore. I want to be happy."
She sighed, "And then I think that I shouldn't regret the things I have done or the things I have chosen not to do because whatever I've done, I must have done something right because I ended up with you.
I'm sorry for a lot of things, one of them was that I thought I'd never get the chance to tell you that, no matter what would happen next, I'd never be anything but grateful for every moment I spend with you, that I never told you out loud how much I did really love you ... that's what I regretted after you jumped out of that helicopter.
And if you make me leave here, then I promise you, someday you'll regret losing me… and you'll think back and say, 'Damn, that girl really did love me'. And if you start to miss me, remember I didn't walk away, I didn't run. You let me go."
"And I know that I probably sound like some pathetic girl to you, but at this point in my life it is only you that matters to me. There's so much that I love about you.
I love that you know me. I love your facial expressions. I love the way you say Freckles. I love the way you want to tell me things. I love your smile, your stupid grin. I love your laugh. I love that we have the same sense of humor. I love the flirting. I love our conversations. I love how you don't care what nobody thinks. And I love that you care what I think. I love how you smell and how it lingers on my clothes long after you're gone. I love your hugs and how they're warm and safe. I love the way your eyes light up when you laugh.
I love how you're such a geek sometimes with your books. I love that I'm your wife. I love that our hands fit together perfectly. I love that you're concerned about me. I love that you make me do that cliché sigh when you kiss me. I love how you make me burst into fits of laughter, because you really are that funny to me. I love that we're best friends. I love that I met you. I even love your perverse mind. I love the funny random noises you make. I love the burning touch of your fingertips on my skin. I love that I got to know you. I love that I've fallen in love with you.
I want to wake up next to you, eat breakfast with you, take showers and baths with you, get dressed with you, play I never with you, watch movies with you in bed, hold your hand, nap together, wear your comfy hoody when I'm cold, look into your eyes, be with you at sunrise and sunset, cook for you, walk in the rain with you, fall asleep with you, snuggle in bed, make love, mess up your hair and kiss you goodnight.
I've had other men in my life, I've been in love before, but it never felt this way. Never, not once, have I felt the way about any of them, as I still feel about you, and I just know I could never love someone the same way I love you. It's not like I don't think I can find another guy, but the truth is, I don't want that. I want you.
I know it sounds pathetic, but I want the stupid fights, the jealousy and all that kind of both cute and angry stuff that you do and say, I would even want the pain. As long as it's from you, it's alright, because I love you. And I know, even if I find a guy who's just like you, both personality and looks, I still wouldn't be able to love that guy the same way I love you. I would rather fight with you for the rest of my life, than make love to anyone else.
Because I want someone I can go to. Someone I can tell my secrets to. Someone who won't judge me for the mistakes I've made, for the mistakes I will continue to make. I want someone who understands me. I want someone who hears, not just listens. I want someone who says good night to me, and prays to god he'll get the chance to say good morning." She paused and then nodded at him, "Yeah, I heard you say that prayer, I wasn't asleep yet." She swallowed the lump in her throat at the memory and continued to ramble on in her attempt to win him over, "I want someone who knows my quirks. I want someone who wipes my tears away. I want someone who needs me. Someone who I need back. I want someone who loves me as much as I love him.
Between laughing for no reason, stupid arguments and fights, long talks, and making fun of each other … I've fallen in love with you. And I remember how I felt that night in that cage with you. I'll never forget how I felt. How I loved every second of it. And after … I loved it when my fingers were entangled in yours, and my head was on your chest, listening to your heart beat. It made me feel so safe, like nothing bad could happen to me, as long as your heart was still beating.
What I don't want is to leave you here and have forever this regret of giving up on us. I don't want to go on with my life without you in it. I don't want to raise this baby by myself. I don't want to sit in L.A. and Hurley will stop by telling me that you're playing house with one of those bimbos he calls recruits."
Sawyer cut her off quickly at that, "That would never happen." He shook his head to emphasize the words but then quit talking because he actually wanted to hear what else she had to say.
Kate spoke up, "It's just that I'm literally so damn jealous of every woman you talk to … only because I never want anyone but me to realize how amazing you are."
Sawyer shook his head and he actually smiled, "It's just all those baby hormones talkin' Freckles, I'm pretty sure there ain't anybody out there thinking I'm amazing other then you!"
"Juliet did."
Guilt and sorrow crossed his face. Sawyer stood up and was quickly squatting down in front of her, reaching out and framing her face with his broad rough hands, "She fell in love with who I tried to be for her, just like … just like Cass had fallen for who I'd pretended to be for her. You, Freckles, are the only one crazy enough to have fallen in love with the arrogant asshole that I actually am. And I only want you, so don't you worry about that anymore in that pretty little head of yours, because that would never happen again, Freckles. Trust me Sweetheart! Don't you trust me?"
She averted his gaze for a moment, but then found the strength to look into his eyes when she said, "You love me." She stated, then sniffed and said, "I don't know that I can truly trust anyone who could love a person like me."
He had to smile at the logic behind her statement, "Right back atcha baby!"
But then a sad look replaced the smile on his face when he realized that after all this time, deep down she still saw herself as someone unlovable.
He leaned in, forehead to forehead, and nudged her nose with his in an affectionate way, but refrained from kissing her lips. "Sweetheart…" He mumbled. "… I didn't know the girl you were when you killed Wayne. I didn't know who you were when you were on the run, but I do know the girl I've met on that island. And for the life of me I can't think of anything you've ever done to deliberately hurt anyone. All you've ever done was trying to help people. Going on crazy ass rescue missions through the jungle, gathering fruit, hunting boar, looking for water, protecting Claire when Aaron got sick and then again when Charlie went nuts, … I mean shit, the list is fucking endless. I love you for who you are on the inside. The lovely looking outside with those damn Freckles is just a bonus. And for the record, there's only one thing I wanted to change about you, and I've already done that."
She sniffed again, "What's that?"
He smiled, "Your last name!"
She cried and sobbed and even laughed through her tears, and her smile caused him to go on, "Austin? What kind of name is that anyway? Makes me think of Texas, and let's just say my conning days in Texas weren't my best since 99% of the folks down there are packing heat.
Now Ford on the other hand, first thing that pops in mind is Trucks. Big, sturdy, four-wheel-drive Pick-up-trucks. Made with the blood, sweat and tears of hard working Americans and probably a few illegal immigrants that get paid under the table. Ain't no comparison there Mrs. Ford!"
She had to smile, she couldn't help it. And that's when he kissed her, pressed his lips hard onto hers.
It's hard to wait around for something you know might never happen, but it's even harder to give up when you think it's everything you want.
She couldn't wait, and after everything she'd already said she wasn't beyond begging, "Please." She pleaded to him with tears in her eyes, "Please, don't make me let you go."
"Freckles." He said again with that defeated air to it, "We have to think about the baby."
"I am thinking about the baby. I'm thinking that I don't want to do this by myself. This is our baby, not just mine."
He looked thoroughly defeated and there really wasn't any fight left in his voice, but he slumped to the ground his back against the couch and she practically climbed out of her chair to the floor with him, waiting for his response. "So, let's say you stay and everything goes right and the baby's alright. But you gotta admit that it can't be good for a kid to not ever be around other kids. Kids need other kids around, I mean ain't that why Aaron's in that preschool? It ain't like he's really learning anything there, it's just to be around other kids his age, ain't it? And then we get to the point where the kid's supposed to be in school, but there ain't no school here and –"
"We can home-school." Kate interrupted him.
He raised his eyebrows in amusement, "We?"
"Yeah, we, James."
"Sweetheart, there're some things I could teach the squirt but pocket picking ain't anything anyone would actually learn in school."
She eyed him suspiciously as she practically crawled into his lap, straddling him, "Jack said you told him that you dropped out after seventh grade."
Sawyer raised an eyebrow and couldn't help the grin that sneaked up on him, "Did he now?" His hands rested on her slender hips, his thumbs rubbing over the waistband of her jeans, every now and then dipping into the fabric, "Now why would the good old doc and you be talking about my education or lack thereof?"
She sighed at the jealous tone she could hear in his voice, even though he was trying to mask it with amusement, "Honestly James, I really don't remember when or why he'd said that, but I knew right away that you'd lied to him. So selling yourself short isn't going to work on me. And neither is trying to change the subject. If all else fails, the kid's still got me, and for your information, I was a straight A-student."
He paused thinking about his next rebuttal, then locked eyes with her again, "You could barely contain your cabin fever in California … you're gonna go nuts being stuck on this island, and we both know it."
"All I really need is right here with me." She said and reached for his hands, smiling at the eye-roll he gave her at her cheesy statement.
But then his demeanor changed once again and his forehead wrinkled in thought as he voiced his serious concern, "How long, Freckles? How long is this place going to be enough? How long will I be enough?"
She straightened her back and looked right at him, her hand brushing his long hair out of his face, "We'll fight, that's a given. And I'm sure there will be times when I just walk out of that front door and take a very, very long walk along the beach … but I promise you, I promise I'll just leave to cool my temper and at the end of the day I'll always come back to you."
"What about Aaron?" Sawyer said watching her carefully.
She lowered her head for a moment, and wiped at her tears again, "He was never mine to begin with."
"That don't mean you don't wanna be in his life."
"I do." Kate sobbed out loud and covered her grimacing face with both her hands to hide her tears again at the thought of that beautiful little boy.
Sawyer pulled her closer; he hadn't meant to make her cry like this again. But she forced herself to gain enough control over her emotions so she could at least speak, "He's not my child, but this baby is." Her hands moved down to her abdomen, "This is our baby and we are a family. So … so if I have to, I choose you James!"
His heart ached, but in a good way, as those words echoed around in his head like an ongoing mantra … 'I choose you James!'
"So …" she cleared her throat to gain back his full attention, but then didn't say anything else, waiting for his response.
He sat up straighter himself, and noting a stray curl clinging to her tear soaked cheek he wiped it away and out of her face, then stared at her for a long moment. Sighing loudly he lowered his head and looked away for a moment, then he smiled and looked up towards the ceiling, Kate didn't understand what he was looking at but followed his gaze anyways. His voice sounded hoarse but somewhat chipper when he said, "We've got roofs over our heads."
The breath she'd been holding escaped her throat in a loud sigh and her tense body suddenly relaxed and practically fell against him, her forehead resting against his shoulder when she smiled and cried at the same time as she answered him, "Yes." She sobbed again, "And we got electricity, showers and … and beds."
"Beds are important." He whispered as he turned his head just enough that his ever present stubble graced her ear.
She raised her head off of his shoulder and to his surprise framed his face with both hands, still crying but this time out of happiness, "I can't believe we're doing this."
"Me neither, babe, me neither." He answered as he fisted his hands in her hair to hold her in place and kiss her. First soft lips just brushing against each other, but then she pulled at him, urged him even closer and before they knew it, they found each other entangled on the cold cement floor and kissing each other passionately.
But their passionate moment was suddenly rudely interrupted when Sawyer pulled away from her, bracing himself on his forearms and hovering merely inches over Kate in complete silence.
Both forced themselves to hold their breath just long enough to really listen, and the sound coming from around the corner and down the hall confirmed it.
He looked down at her and she looked up at him, but she spoke first, "It's the elevator. Someone's up there, James. Someone started the elevator."
"I know." He huffed as he scampered quickly to his feet and reached down for her, grabbing her outstretched hand to help her get up off the floor. He took the letter and the picture from the pile, shoved them into the back pocket of his jeans in mere seconds, then reached for his gun and the walky on the little table beside the couch, but didn't bother with his shirt, socks or boots.
Kate was pulling her tank top back on and picked up her own gun that was carelessly sitting atop her back pack. She released the clip and checked her ammo, more out of habit than anything else because she hadn't had to use the gun yet.
They both turned around the corner at the same time, walking side by side towards the elevator shaft.
The elevator wasn't descending yet, and Kate quickly looked to him, "Is there any way we can stop it from bringing them down here?"
"Don't know." He paused for a moment, "It could be our guys."
Kate countered, "Wouldn't they have called us? We have a walky." Gesturing to the radio James had shoved into his other back pocket right before they left the room.
Sawyer nodded, "Yeah." Then the noise from the slowly approaching elevator filled the hallway. "Son of a bitch! They're coming down."
Sawyer didn't like this one bit. Was this Karma coming down in that elevator to bite him in the ass for agreeing to let her stay?
He'd sworn to never do this again. Juliet was dead because he didn't want to be alone. And he thought he'd done everything he could think of to prevent Kate from not only coming back but also from staying, but damn … he hadn't counted on her persistence.
How many times could he break her heart and push her away before she'd truly give up on him? So against his better judgment, against everything he'd sworn to never do again, he had caved under her ridiculously cheesy admissions of love.
But how could he not have given in after everything she'd said? Someway somehow Kate had gradually transformed from the girl lying in his arms who couldn't even utter those three little words to the woman she was now, so unashamed admitting everything she'd ever felt about him.
So how in the world could he fight her on this any longer, when all he ever wanted was the exact same thing? All he wanted was to spend the rest of his life with her and their child.
But those notions didn't change the fear that crept through his veins at the thought of who was in that elevator and why. It was just like Karma to turn this moment of bliss into something ugly by being faced with yet another unexpected obstacle in their journey to live happily ever after.
He glanced sideways towards Kate's hiding spot, and she caught his eye and gestured with a nod towards the descending elevator. He let his eyes wander over her small frame, hoping it wouldn't be the last time he'd get to do so.
If she was scared, it didn't show. Her face tense in concentration, her gun in her hand, and aiming at the approaching intruder that was now well on his way, but she didn't look scared at all.
The elevator stopped and Sawyer held his breath, his trigger finger poised on the lever and with his eyes and gun trained on the opening elevator door before them. His own heartbeat was all he could hear in that moment, when he suddenly realized just how scared he was. Not for himself, but for her and the baby. He swallowed hard, ready to shoot whoever dared to be a threat to his one true love and his unborn child.
"Kate? Sawyer?" the familiar voice echoed off the walls before Hurley even stepped into the hallway.
Sawyer sighed audibly in relief as he lowered his gun and quickly tucked it back into the back of his jeans, making eye contact with Kate. The smile on her face was a telltale sign of her own relief that the intruder was none other than Hurley himself.
"Ever heard of given folks a heads up, big guy?" Sawyer greeted him as he came out of hiding. "One of these days you're gonna get killed by sneaking up on people like that."
Hurley snorted and made a face, "Dude, I wasn't sneaking up on anyone … ain't my fault you guys watched one too many scary movies."
Kate gave him a hug, "I'm just glad it's you."
The door behind them suddenly began to close again but before Kate or Sawyer could ask, Hurley spoke up, "It's just Ben. We … the thing wasn't big enough for us both."
Kate tried her best to hide her smile, but Sawyer didn't even attempt to when he simple slapped Hurley on the shoulder and said sarcastically, "Yeah, bug-eye could stand to lose a few pounds."
Hurley just made a face but didn't say anything, then Kate quickly spoke up, "You didn't happen to bring Frank with you too?"
"Frank?" Hurley asked in return, "No, we didn't. Why?" Looking from Kate to Sawyer and back to Kate again after he noticed the twosome sharing a look that Hurley couldn't quite read.
"She ain't leavin', hoss. That's why." Sawyer decided to not beat around the bush since he figured they'd need to get Frank here now, the sooner the better.
Hurley's face kept looking from one to the other and back again, as if he was watching a tennis match from the sidelines, "Wait, what?"
He looked at Kate, "You're not leaving?"
Then he looked at Sawyer, "And you're okay with that?"
Back to Kate, "But you're pregnant!"
Then to Sawyer again, "Dude, she's gonna have a baby."
Locking eyes with Kate once more, "We've got a strict 'no-getting-someone-knocked-up' clause going here." He practically stuttered, "It's like all in the contract and stuff."
Sawyer decided it was time to interject his boss' ramblings, "The knocking up part happened off island, so she'll be fine. She wants to stay, have the baby here. Stay for good, you know, like me."
Hurley's face grimaced in a way that was unreadable, "Dude, there's something we gotta talk about!"
Sawyer raised his eyebrows, "Okay, shoot."
"Nah." He gave Kate an apologetic look before he turned back to Sawyer, "Sorry Kate. It's just … you know, just us." He pointed at Sawyer then back at himself to emphasize it, "Just you and me, man."
Sawyers sighed and said, "She knows, Hugo."
"She knows what?"
Kate interjected before Sawyer could answer, "Why James came back." She tried not to frown but couldn't' help it, "What he did for me, you know, the reason he's here."
"YOU TOLD HER!" Hurley practically shouted at him.
"No, are you nuts." Sawyer countered, "I didn't tell her nothin'. She figured it out."
Kate nodded to confirm and assure Hurley that it was true. The big guy thought about it for just a moment but then looked back at Sawyer, "Well, I still gotta talk to you about something. Alone." He gave Kate that same apologetic expression again, "It's a guys thing." He tried to offer as some consolation and then glanced back at Sawyer.
Kate took the initiative before Sawyer could interject. She touched his forearm to get his attention, "It's alright, I'm not going anywhere. I'll be right here." She glanced down to her bare feet, "I gotta put my shoes back on anyways, my feet are getting cold."
Walking in silence into a room on the other end of the hall, Hurley turned to close the door behind them while Sawyer pulled on his shirt and began to button it up again.
He then half sat, half leaned against a big metal desk, facing Hurley, "A guy thing, huh?" He sounded clearly amused by this, "Gotta work on you lying skills a bit, I don't think she bought it for a second, I sure as hell didn't." He paused, giving Hurley time to jump but when he still didn't say anything and just looked around the room like a lost puppy, Sawyer began to speak instead, "I know what you're gonna say, and believe you me, man, I tried to get her to leave. But she's got her mind set on spending the rest of her days with me, and I mean, who can really blame her for –."
"It's not about that." Hurley couldn't' even look him in the eye when he spoke. "It's something else."
Sawyer folded his arms over his chest, his voice a pitch higher when he said, "It's not, huh?"
Hurley cleared his throat, and shook his head.
The smile on Sawyers face disappeared and his expression grew suddenly worried as he studied Hurley's face and posture. He could tell just by looking at him that Hurley seemed scared to tell him what this was about. "Did something happen?" Kate was right here with him, so in Sawyers mind it could only mean one other thing, "Is it Clem? Did something happen to my daughter?" Sawyer took a few steps towards Hurley, trying to get the other man to finally talk. "Spit it out already!"
Hurley suddenly aware of the impression he was given Sawyer with his obvious reluctance to actually confess, that he hadn't even thought that his friend would automatically assume the worst. He finally looked up at him, and shook his head vehemently, "No, man, no. It's nothing like that at all. Far as I know Clementine's just fine … I mean, other than thinking that you're dead and all."
Sawyer let out a sigh of relief, "Well, hell, if it ain't nothing like that, then get on with it already. Frank still don't know he's gonna be the new wheel of fortune contestant, so time's off the essence here, Doc Brown."
"Okay." Hurley looked up and gave him a puppy dog look, "But you gotta promise me that you're not gonna get mad."
Sawyer thought about it for a moment and studied the man standing across from him. What could Hurley possibly have done to him that didn't concern Kate or Clementine? After giving it a minute of thought he seemed to remember what Miles referred to as 'Hugo's-gone-wild' days, aka Hugo blew up the black rock. In Sawyers mind there wasn't anything that could ruin this day for him. As long as his wife and kids – unborn included – were alright, nothing else would matter. So he suddenly blurted out, "You burned my house down or somethin'? That's it, right? What else could it be?" Before Hurley could interject he carried on, "Look, it's not that bad, Kate and I'll just build a new one, a little closer to the beach, little more privacy, if you know what I mean. It'll all work out man and –."
But Hurley couldn't take it any longer, the guilt was killing him, and he yelled, "I LIED TO YOU MAN!"
Silence filled the room as they locked eyes.
Hurley's voice was now barely above a whisper when he repeated, "I lied to you."
And suddenly he began to just ramble on and on, just pausing a mere second to take a quick breath, but other than that he just carried on as if he just couldn't hold the words back any longer, "I'm really, really sorry. It's just that I know how you get, you have quiet the obnoxious streak in you, and I knew you were just going to ask me every day and probably like a hundred times a day and so I thought I'd tell you when the time came, and I wasn't even sure when that would be, it could've been next week or twenty years from now, but now everything is just happening all at the same time and it's all just really confusing me and I've been feeling so guilty and then Bernard and Rose said I should tell you and making me feel even more guilty then I did before and Ben said that maybe we shouldn't tell you and on top of all that the whole baby thing happened and then I felt like I was lying to Kate too and now Kate wants to stay here and have the baby here and even before all that I kept hearing and seeing these two numbers again and again and I couldn't figure it out, I even dreamed of those freakin' numbers and then Bernard caught that fish, you know, and the fish I guess had ate that ring and then Rose gave me the ring and when I touched it I could just see all this stuff happening, you know like a movie or … or something like that but just in front of my eyes and then I talked to Ben, when I told him about all the guilt and the ring he said that maybe I was right and we should tell you and so Ben and I came here so I could tell you and on the way here I even mentioned the numbers to him and he told me what they stood for back in the Jacob days, and now I finally understand why I kept on seeing those numbers everywhere and –."
"HURLEY." Sawyer yelled to get his attention, "You're not making any sense. What numbers? What the hell didn't you tell me? What did you lie to me about?"
Bursting at the seams with the information at hand, he couldn't contain it any longer, blurting it out, "YOU CAN LEAVE!"
"What?" Sawyer grabbed him by his shirt, more roughly then he had intended to, "What the hell are you talking about?"
"You can leave the island, man, you can go back home … with Kate." Hurley was literally bubbling with joy of relief as the words just rattled out.
Hurley was so incredibly relieved to have the burden of this secret lifted from his chest that he didn't even have time to flinch before Sawyer's fist connected with his jaw, making the heavier man stumble backwards against the closed door behind him.
Before Hurley could even steady himself on his feet and recover, the next punch came flying, immediately followed by a third one, which made him stumble some more and he actually fell all the way to the ground.
Sawyer growled at him, "You son of a bitch. You knew I could leave? You would've had me send her back? You would've let me suffer on this god damn rock?" He was fighting the urge to kick Hurley who was still struggling to get back to his feet, but to no avail.
Hurley came to a sitting position, bracing himself against the wall behind him, held up a hand in surrender, hoping Sawyer would show enough mercy to not punch him a fourth time when he felt a trickle of blood run from his nostril. "Sawyer, wait!" He huffed, trying to catch his breath through the sting of the pain, "Hold on." He reached into his pocket and retrieved the silver band, still visibly weak from Sawyers assault his hand was shaking when he simply held the ring out to his old friend, "Here, look!"
Even though he was furious and wanted to beat on him some more, all the anger suddenly washed away, against his will, when his eyes fell onto the sparkling band clutched between Hurley's chubby fingers.
It couldn't be!
He swallowed the lump in his throat and took the ring from him. Defeated he leaned against the wall and slit down to the ground, until he sat on the floor next to Hurley, unable to speak as he stared at the ring.
Sure enough this was really it.
The ring.
The ring he had hidden under the floorboards all those years ago. The ring he'd retrieved from its hiding place on the day that Juliet had died. The ring he had thrown away in anguish thinking that all hope was lost. And by throwing away that ring – in his mind – symbolized the end of Kate and him when she'd confessed that she'd returned to the island for Claire and not for him.
But here it was now, today of all days. On the day Kate had cried and confessed all of her love for him like never before and had fought to stay with him, had practically vowed to him that she wouldn't run anymore, the ring had found its way back into his hand.
He stared at the ring in silence and Hurley didn't dare to speak, thankful that the ass-whoopin' had ceased.
So they both just sat there on the cold cement floor, slumped against the equally cold wall behind them, and neither of them dared to utter a word.
Holding the ring on that dock that day, hearing Kate announce that she wasn't here for him but for Claire, he thought that he'd lost her for good and had decided that holding onto this reminder of her would only torture him for the rest of his sorry excuse of a life.
Some of us are just meant to be alone.
So he stared at it one last time, watched that diamond sparkle in the sun one last time, then drew back and when he let go of that ring and watched it disappear into the ocean, his intentions had been to let go of Kate as well. His only consolation as his heart ached for the woman still sitting right there was that he wouldn't have to wonder any longer how she truly felt about him. She was here for Claire. She'd made that clear. There was no going back. It was done. She was done. He was done. They were done.
And here he was now; holding that same ring in his hand once again and for the first time in his life James Ford began to seriously wonder if maybe something like fate really did exist after all. Maybe the good old doc was onto something after all.
If it's meant to be, it's meant to be!
After everything they've been through. His upbringing, her upbringing, his conning days, her runaway past, then Jacob bringing them all here, and everything that had led up to this moment. Was being with Kate his fate? Was being with her his true destiny?
His mind took a stroll through all the truly happy moments in his adult life and he suddenly realized that Kate was in every single one of them. He'd never been truly happy even when his pockets were full with dollar bills from a con or scam he'd succeeded in, because of the guilt that he'd turned into the man he was hunting overshadowed it all. And even his happiest times with Juliet were always overshadowed by the guilt he felt for not loving her with all of his heart and knowing that he probably never would. Only with Kate he'd managed to feel completely happy … and sometimes in the most unlikely places or moments, like in a filthy bear cage!
He was so lost in his own thoughts, regrets and memories that he hadn't even realized that a tear was rolling down his cheek, until Hurley brought him out of his day dream. "Dude, are you … crying?"
Sawyer turned his face away from Hurley, suddenly aware of the tears streaming down his face and instantly embarrassed for appearing so weak in front of his friend. He wiped at his face with the sleeve of his shirt, "No." That was all he could mutter without risking that the breaking of his voice would prove Hurley otherwise.
Hurley seemed unsure of how to handle this either, so he didn't say anything else and tried to give Sawyer enough time to get his act together.
But the moment past rather quickly, because Hurley had this overwhelming urge to have a heart to heart with his friend, "Dude, it's really no big deal. Everybody does it sometimes. I've done it plenty of times, and … you know, Jack cried like all the time."
"I'm not Jack." Sawyer fired back at Hurley instantly, his breaking voice was now replaced with anger and embarrassment, "And I already told ya', I wasn't cryin'."
Hurley nodded and quipped sarcastically, "Right!"
Sawyer scurried to a stand, his body stumbling along with his words, "I-I … I was … you're a big guy … so I broke a sweat when I punched you to the ground." He said, well aware of how incredibly stupid he sounded and was almost more embarrassed about this pathetic excuse for a lie then he had been about the actual tears.
"Right." Hurley said again with that same sarcastic tone to his voice. He wiped his bloody nose with his shirt, then huffed and puffed trying to get back to his feet and against his better judgment gave Sawyer a final verbal blow, "Must be the island magic that's got you sweating out of your eyeballs, dude."
Sawyer just shot him a menacing glance, but gave up on trying to deny it or argue. He stared at the ring in his hand again then held it up for Hurley to see it when he finally asked, "Where did you get this?"
"I already told you, Bernard found it in one of those fish he caught." He said, offended that Sawyer had apparently not listened to anything he'd said before.
Sawyer glanced at the ring again, "How did you know it was mine?"
Hurley cleared his throat, "I touched it … and then I just knew. I saw you and Kate like … you know, like flash before my eyes."
Sawyer wanted more detail, "What do you mean you saw Kate and me?"
"Just you and Kate … like doing stuff."
"If you don't start to really explain," Sawyer growled, "I'll pull you bloody nose so fucking long it will go just fine with your new nickname, Pinocchio."
Hurley swallowed hard and began to explain, "I touched the ring and I saw you and Kate in like different situations. You were walking in the jungle, kissing in the jungle, kissing in a cage, I saw you sleeping side by side on the ground somewhere, kissing in your tent, I saw you in one of the dharma houses kissing and stuff … in general, there was a whole lot of kissing that I saw, ohhh and laughing too. She was like always laughing and smiling and stuff and so where you and then I saw you and her sitting on the dock, talking or whatever and you were crrr … I mean like sweating and then you threw that ring in the water. You left and Kate cried like crazy. The end!"
"Kate cried?" He couldn't help but ask.
"Yeah, man, she was." Hurley confirmed what he'd already told him. "Like really bad."
Sawyer just stood there, staring at the ring again and didn't say anything when Hurley said, "There's more."
His head snapped up, catching Hurley's apologetic eyes again, "More what? More flashes or visions?"
"No." Hurley shook his head, then sighed and began to explain what had caused his dilemma, "Just more stuff I wanted to tell you … it's just that once you arrived here, on the island, I knew right away that you wouldn't have to stay for good."
Sawyer's face grew mad, and another violent outburst was waiting just beneath the surface, but he was trying his best to contain it because he truly wanted to know what the hell was going on here.
So despite Sawyers evil glare, Hurley continued with his story, "But the thing is, or was, that I didn't know when you could leave, I mean for all I knew it could've been fifty years from now or something like that. I didn't know anything exactly and the damage was already done in L.A.! Everybody there thought you were dead and you had made it so that no one would come looking for you."
"But Kate did." Sawyer interrupted Hurley with a snarl, "You should've said something to me when she got here."
Hurley shot him a sad look again, "I know, Sawyer, and I'm really so sorry. I … I just didn't know what to tell you, because I didn't know when you could go. But now I know that you can go and … we're good now, right? I mean, it's all good now."
Sawyer sneered again, "Yeah, we're just peachy, except for the part where everybody thinks I'm dead, dimwit."
Hurley almost smiled and with a casual wave of his hand just said, "Oh that? We can fix that!"
Sawyer stared at him incredulously, and replied rather sarcastically "Oh really? What's the master plan here, Doctor Evil? Are we gonna ask Superman to fly around the globe a few times and turn back fucking time, or are we gonna erase everyone's memory so they'll forget I died?"
Hurley shook his head, "Dude, it wouldn't be that easy, we'd have to also like make all the newspapers and internet posts about your death disappear from like all over the world. And why is everyone always thinking of Superman? He's not even that great and that movie when he did that was like totally lame. The Flash could probably do it, he can run so fast, he can even vibrate through walls and –." Hurley stopped his ramblings when he realized Sawyers eyes throwing daggers at him and finally said, "Dude, we'll figure something out. They all thought you had died in the plane crash before, but then you and Claire showed back up."
"Yeah, but this time it ain't gonna be that simple." Sawyer answered defeated once more, because Hurley seemed unable to grasp that this wasn't going to be as easy as the last time he'd been presumed dead. After all, there was a body this time, and dna testing had been done. This would be hard to explain away.
"What's not going to be that simple?" Ben's voice startled them both as he stood in the doorframe of the open door.
Sawyer immediately tried to glance past him and Ben caught his intent, "She's fine. She's eating mangoes and asked me to see what was going on."
Hurley spoke up, "Sawyer's worried about how we'd explain that he isn't dead."
Ben stepped all the way into the room and shot the door behind him, "Actually, I've already given it some thought. Just some ideas, nothing set in stone yet."
Hurley interrupted, giving Sawyer a hopeful look, "See, dude, told ya'."
Sawyer turned his attention back to Ben, clearly intrigued if he indeed had a way out of this situation, "Go on."
Ben stepped further into the room, "We will say someone kidnapped you."
"Kidnapped me? Who would wanna kidnap me?" Sawyer asked not convinced.
"For example, former business associates of you." Ben equipped. "Like the one whose dead body you used to stand in as your own. Robert Hibbs was his name, wasn't it?" Ben gave him a pointed look.
Sawyer leaned back against the desk again and folded his arms across his chest, "Alright, let's say I was kidnapped, and then what? And how do you explain the body?"
Ben continued, "Since time is of the essence here I'll give you the short version, James. You were attacked by Hibbs in the cabin, he has a gun, he threatens to kill you, you both struggle for the gun, the gun fires, but before you could do you civil duty and call the authorities, Hibbs' other associates come rushing through the door after they heard the gunshot. Since you're outnumbered the armed men manage to overpower you and knock you unconscious, take you, set the cabin on fire in an attempt to destroy any evidence of their presence."
"Nice story, Spielberg, but a, that will not explain why the body was identified as moi, and b, why they didn't just kill me and leave me to barbeque along good ol' Hibbs?"
Ben seems to think about that for a moment, while Sawyer and Hurley's eyes are clued to him as they eagerly wait for what he comes up with, "I'm not entirely sure yet, I'm obviously still working on the finer details, but I'm thinking something along the lines of them wanting to see you truly suffer because you've crossed them in a past con, or maybe they needed some sort of information from you, either way, they didn't kill you but merely took you.
And as far as the dna testing on the body goes, well, that's actually going to be much simpler than it sounds. The test was actually conducted by a privately funded lab, since the results were being rushed because of your celebrity status. And since we actually placed one of our guys in that lab just for that very reason, … once you're found alive somewhere, well, then the media and authorities will look into the dna results and by then our guy will step forward and find some elaborate story to explain the mishap in the lab. But of course he will do so in a way that it won't compromise any other previous lab work done at the facility, therefore not compromising the credentials of the lab itself."
"Awesome." Hurley sounded clearly convinced and relieved all the same.
Sawyer shook his head, "I don't know, you make it sound so easy, but –."
Ben interrupted him, "Don't get me wrong, there is a lot of planning, plotting, work and pay-offs involved here, and it is going to take some time to set it all up as well, but with the resources this island can provide it can definitely be done."
Hurley smiled, "So, are we good then, dude?" He took a weary step towards him, "You're not gonna punch me again, right?"
Sawyer sighed in relief, tossed the ring in the air and caught it again instantaneously, "I won't but I'm afraid I can't vouch for my little firecracker down the hall. She's got quite a mean streak, that one, and with the baby hormones added into the mix you might want to get a hold of her gun first before you tell her what you kept from us all this time."
Hurley didn't smile and looked actually a little scared when he pointed at himself, "Me? You want me to tell her?"
Sawyer stepped forward and slapped him onto his shoulder, "I sure as hell ain't gonna do it, hoss."
He then turned towards the door, ready to get back to Kate when Hurley stopped him in his tracks, "Wait, don't you want to know about the numbers too?"
Sawyer stopped, "Am I gonna like what I hear or is this gonna piss me off all over again?"
Hurley nodded and his lips curled into a smile, "You'll like it."
"Alright." Sawyer turned around, "Let's hear it."
"She completes you!" Hurley said with such enthusiasm that Sawyer couldn't help but chuckle. "She what?"
"The number Jacob had for you was 15, right?"
"Right?" Sawyer nodded in agreement, remembering seeing the number fifteen followed by his last name written on the cave wall.
"Well, Kate's number is 51!" He practically beamed at Sawyer.
Sawyer looked at Hurley then turned towards Ben, clearly confused.
Ben quickly interjected, "Don't look at me, I don't get neither Jacobs or Hurleys obsession with the numbers ."
Looking back at Hurley when he spoke up, "Don't you get it? 15, 51! It's a sign!"
"A sign of what?"
"That you two belong together." He blurted out somewhat annoyed that neither of the two men in front of him seemed to share his believes.
"I love her and she loves me, that's oughta be enough."
"Yeah, but it's like she completes you and you complete her, it's fate, dude. The numbers are like fate and I've been seeing them like everywhere lately, and then today I find out that you can leave … It's gotta mean something."
Sawyer thought about it for a minute, "Wouldn't her number have to be 85 for it to mean she completes me?
"85?" Hurley asked confused.
"It's basic first grade math, Hugo, 15 plus 85 equals 100. 15 plus 51, not so much!"
And with that Sawyer was ready to leave when Ben interjected again, "So, how are we going to do this?"
Kate was pacing the room, wondering what was taking them so long but she had a feeling that Sawyer was probably in there trying to convince Ben and Hurley to let her stay. So for once Kate did as she was told and stayed put right here and fought the urge to barge into that back room herself and decided to trust Sawyer to take care of it for her.
She had just settled back down onto the old yet very comfy sofa when she heard the distinct familiar footsteps of Sawyer coming down the hallway, followed by Ben and Hurley's footsteps close behind him.
Kate fought an inner battle to remain seated on the sofa, trying her best to appear confident that Sawyer had managed to convince them to let her stay. If she was totally honest with herself, then she really couldn't think of any good reason why they wouldn't let her stay, but she still wouldn't find any peace until she knew what had happened.
Sawyer turned the corner into the room and looked at her. The corners of his mouth pulled up just a tad that his expression could pass for a smile when quickly sat down to pull on his shoes and said, "Let's go for a walk."
Kate took his hand and got up off the couch and Sawyer pulled her along towards the elevator. Walking hand in hand with him, she glanced back over her shoulder noticing Ben was on the phone with someone while Hurley stood close by, apparently listening in on Ben's conversation. She followed Sawyer into the elevator without anything being said, but as soon as the elevator door had completely closed before them and the metal structure began it's slow upward movement, Kate couldn't hold her tongue any longer.
"So?" She glanced up at him, trying to read his facial expression for any clue to what was going on, but couldn't quite decipher it. "Hurley's okay with me staying?" Unconsciously she held her breath for his answer.
Sawyer glanced down at her and to her surprise he only said, "Let's talk outside, this thing makes me feel claustrophobic."
Kate just nodded in agreement but she didn't like this one bit.
This can't be good. All he had to say was yes, and that would've eased my mind, but instead he said he wants to talk outside … oh god, this is bad!
The elevator ride up seemed to take ten times longer than it had when they were going down earlier that day.
Sawyer opened the door and they both stepped out into the ruins of what used to be the greenhouse.
Right away Kate turned her full attention to him, "Just tell me, James, yes or no?"
"No, you can't stay." He began with his speech, but before he could say anything else Kate had dropped her head in defeat, her chin quivered and even with her eyes downcast, he could see them well up with tears once again.
He quickly spoke up, "But he said I can leave with you."
He plastered on a big dimpled smile as Kate's head jerked up and her teary green eyes met his blue one, seeking some sort of confirmation. A tear rolled and she wiped at his before it could run down her cheek, and finally voiced her disbelieve out loud, "What?"
"I'm leavin' with you." He repeated with the goofiest grin.
Kate shook her head slightly, still staring at him as if he was speaking Chinese, "He said that?"
"Yeah."
"Hurley said you can leave with me?"
"Yeah, Freckles, we're leaving together."
He could see the little wheels turning in her head as she asked, "You help me get home and then …" she paused, "… then you have to come back here?"
Sawyer smiled and shook his head, "I ain't coming back here, babe. We're going home!"
Her whole face lit up with pure happiness as she flung herself into his arms, making him stumble and nearly knocking him to the ground. He laughed out loud at her reaction and once he'd regained his footing he pulled her into a hug, picking her up of the floor.
But suddenly she pulled back and stared up at him, then pushed him back in mock annoyance, "Asshole!" she blurted out. "You couldn't have started out with that?"
"Sorry." He said sounding anything but that as he smiled mischievously, "Freckles, you should've seen your face … that was just priceless."
She shoved him again, "That was really not funny, James."
He protested, rubbing at his chest where she'd shoved him, "Hey, easy now, can't get insured now right before our long journey back."
She rolled her eyes at his antics but then suddenly seemed to be lost in thought before she said, "How is all of this going to work? I mean, the whole world thinks that you're dead."
"I know." He said and looked around for a place to sit, reached for her hand and pulled her along to sit with him. Getting comfortable with leaning back against a still half erect wall, he pulled her into his lap, slinging his arms around her and began to explain, "This is the plan …"
The tunnel that lead to the wheel-chamber seemed to decrease in size the further they ventured into the unknown. Sawyer carefully lead the way with his flashlight in one hand, holding onto Kate's hand with the other, determined to keep her as close as the narrow cave would allow it. He didn't want to take any chance in losing her now by some cosmic turn of events like a cave in or something alike.
Kate kept up with him, step for step on the uneven terrain, still somewhat overwhelmed and almost expecting to wake up and realize that this wasn't real and just a cruel dream instead. She hoped it wasn't just a dream, and almost sighed in relief when right in that moment of doubt she felt Sawyers warm and firm hand giving her a reassuring squeeze, as if he had just read her mind.
Her heart began to pound wild in her chest when she saw the top of the ladder. Sawyer let go of her hand, began climbing down the ladder and she followed him quickly. They'd safely made it thus far, but Sawyer glanced down the second ladder and noted that the lower part of it was broken.
He took his backpack off quickly and handed it to her before he began to slowly climb down.
"Be careful." Kate warned, well aware of how silly she sounded considering the fact that they had been in far more dangerous situations in the past. But just like Sawyer, she feared that something bad might happen at the very end … and they were very close to the end now.
Sawyer jumped the last few feet, caught his and her backpack and then waited patiently for Kate to climb down, reaching up and helping her get all the way down.
With Kate now safe beside him, Sawyer lit a match and fired up the lamp that Ben told him would be there. Finally able to really see it, they stood before the wheel and stared at it mesmerized.
Kate spoke up first, "That's it?"
Sawyer nodded, "Yeah, I guess."
Kate reached for his hand again, "Not as impressive as I thought it would be."
Sawyer walked closer but didn't dare to touch it, noting that the walls surrounding them and the wheel where covered in ice, "Ben wasn't kiddin' when he said it was cold down here."
Kate nodded again but then looked up at Sawyer, "Let's get out of here."
Sawyer turned towards her, smiling, "Let's do it, Freckles."
He went to work with the pry bar to remove the ice around the wheel, while Kate retrieved a rope, her passport and other travel papers from her backpack. She put her passport into her backpocket, then stashed the other papers away in every available pocket on her person.
Sawyer pulled the heavier backpack on, then Kate and him tied each other together with the rope and of course Sawyer couldn't help himself and said, "We should do this at home some time?" Kate glanced back at him over her shoulder and rolled her eyes, "Is there ever a moment when you're not thinking about sex?"
He wrapped his arms around her and began to knot the rope as tight as he could in front of her, thrusting his hips into her backside and answered, "You're honestly gonna try telling me that this ain't makin' you think of sex, girl?"
She rolled her hips back into him teasingly, but then contradicted her actions when she said, "This really isn't the time or the place."
He groaned, clearly enjoying what she was doing but agreed with her, "Then you gotta quit that shit Freckles, or we'll have to delay our departure a little longer."
"Okay." She agreed, and he repeated the same, "Okay then."
With her backpack hooked through her arm, they both took hold of the wheel with Sawyers bigger hands entrapping Kates under his along the icy-cold surface. With all their combined strength it began to turn, slow and steady. Then it all happened so incredibly fast, it must have been only seconds when the light began to shine brighter and a strange noise became louder, causing Sawyer to instinctively pressing his body into Kate even more, deliberately nuzzling her ear when he practically had to yell just to be heard "Let's go home, Freckles." right when the bright light seem to engulf them completely and then they were just gone.
Hurley uncovered his ears and looked at Ben, "Looks like they did it."
Ben nodded in agreement, "Yes, they did."
They began to walk towards the elevator when Ben said, "I guess Jate is fate after all."
"Jate?" Hurley asked.
Ben glanced up at the Hurley walking beside him, "Yeah, Jate. That's what the tabloids named them after they got together. It's a … it's a portmanteau of James and Kate."
Hurley looked confused, "A port-what?"
"A portmanteau." He repeated then explained further, "A combination of their names. James and Kate. After they got married the tabloids began calling them that. Their headlines read 'Jate is fate.'!"
"Ahhh." Hurley nodded, "I get it." He thought about it for a moment then said, "So I guess Sawyer and Kate would be Skate then?"
Ben simply nodded, but then said, "But Sawyer isn't his real name."
"Yeah." Hurley answered, "But I still call him that and he doesn't seem to mind it." They stopped in front of the elevator. "Skate is fate." Hurley said out loud, turning to Ben, "Don't you think that has a better ring to it?"
Ben sighed, regretting having started this conversation. "Sure, Skate does sounds better, but the tabloids still call them Jate."
Hurley shrugged, "Well, they are together again and I guess that's all that really matters."
When the elevator door opened Hurley turned to Ben, "Can I go first, this place is creeping me out."
Ben stepped aside, "Sure, you're the boss."
Hurley stepped inside and closed the metal bar in front of him, and as the elevator door began to close he blurted out, "SKATE IS FATE!" then nodded to himself, "Yup, it sounds totally awesome." Ben just rolled his eyes.
Sahara Desert, Tunisia
Kate's eyes popped open, she sucked in a deep breath, and instant relieved washed over her when she realized Sawyers fingers where still intertwined with hers. Automatically Sawyer wrapped his arms around her, and kissed the back of her head before he even bothered to take in his surroundings.
The ground around them was covered in sand. There were wooden poles lining up with cameras attached, but besides that there was a whole lot of nothing. All in all it looked exactly like Ben had described it to them earlier.
Their hands worked together to get the knot untied, and when they did, Kate didn't bother to get up but simply just turned around, wrapping her arms around him and holding him close, taking a minute to let it all sink in.
"It worked." Kate said relieved, her voice breaking up as tears streaked her face again.
Sawyer pulled back, one hand cupping her chin, tilting it up and locking eyes with her, "Of course it did."
She smiled up at him.
He pulled her in for a passionate kiss. The kiss lead up and they finally decided to get up off the floor.
Both scanned their surroundings for a moment while Sawyer reached for her hand again and began pulling her along.
"California, here we come."
End Note: First of I have to give credit where it's due. Some of the sappy things Kate said when she was explaining how much she loved Sawyer were ideas gathered with the help of google. I simply had searched for 'Love Quotes' and that's what where the majority of her love confession originated from.
So what did you think? I'm really curious to hear from you and get your input on what you thought. Also, is anyone interested in my continuation story?
I guess all that's left to say is thank you to everyone who's still reading my stories and a special thanks to all those that have left reviews in the past or are going to leave one today. I truly appreciate it.