The Illinois River at approaching dusk was beautiful but not so much as the woman who stood at the railing, looking out over the water.
To Edward, this woman was the epitome of loveliness. Her form was slender, the line of her body slim until it hit the full skirt of her simple blue dress. Her hair was done up in a bun, on which was perched that hat he'd bought her at the last stop. As she leaned over the rail, looking out over the land, he had a sudden inkling to rise from where he was and kiss the bare skin at the back of her neck.
He remained where he was, laying on the lounge chair on the deck, enjoying watching her when she didn't know she was being watched.
Except this time, it was allowable.
He could watch her when and where he wished for she was his wife.
He had to repeat that fact to himself several times a day, yet sometimes he still didn't believe it.
So he watched as she leaned down, pulling Peter up into her arms and standing with him, pointing out something at the shoreline.
Edward was pulled from his most favored pastime by light snickering off to his left. He glanced, and sure enough, two other women were sitting, their heads bent together and their eyes on Bella. He tightened his arms across his chest, irritation quickly replacing his warmer thoughts.
What was it this time, he wondered.
He didn't think Bella was as oblivious as she pretended to be. He'd noticed she'd taken to wearing the two dresses she owned that could be worn with hoops. They were, as she'd noted on their wedding night, well worn and likely many years out of fashion, but they were what she had.
Once, several days before, she'd been walking to meet him in the dining area, when another woman had rudely remarked - loud enough that Bella could overhear - that the boat's officials were sub par, having let someone from steerage attend their dining time and area. Edward had made a point of introducing himself - and his wife - to the woman and her husband a short time later.
Though she'd merely smiled politely at the time, since that day, Edward had not seen her in the dresses he was used to her wearing - those comfortable and practical for life back on the farm.
So though Edward would have thought she was lovely no matter what she wore, the women sitting near him were likely taking in the stark contrast from her frayed clothing to the fancy, very modern bonnet she wore.
Or perhaps it was the baby in her arms.
It was rare for an upper class family to travel without a small army of servants, and rarer still for a mother to be so attached to her child. Edward had received more than one offer from the steerage passengers to watch Peter for a small sum, but both he and Bella felt much more comfortable having the little boy close. He was still quite clingy and frightened, though he seemed to be growing more at ease.
There was, he knew, no small amount of gossip about the ship about the nature of their relationship, who the blond little boy belonged to - he looked nothing like either of them - and how someone like Bella came to be with someone like him.
It was ridiculous and slightly maddening. His clothes were no finer than hers. It wasn't as though he'd marched off to war with more than his uniform. Yet he seemed to escape the derisive, scathing looks.
Before he found himself in trouble - yelling at a lady was not polite, regardless of how rude she was - Edward stood and went to Bella. She started when he put his hand to her waist, but soon melted back against him, a smile on her lips.
"Mr. Cullen," she murmured, a little surprised when he dipped to kiss her neck as he'd wanted to. "People will talk."
She was rather demure in public, not as demonstrative as she was in private, which both pleased and disappointed him. On the one hand, it would be easier for her, because he knew her time amongst the blue bloods of Chicago would not be without difficulty. Still, he wished they could kiss as ardently as they pleased whenever the pleased.
Today, though, he could care less if the women on deck were scandalized by his behavior. In another day, he would never have to see them again.
"Let them talk," he murmured, tilting his head down to catch her lips.
Peter found it all very funny, and the sound of his laughter made Edward smiled as he kissed Bella a little more politely.
Keeping his arm at her waist, he stepped to her side, enjoying that she automatically leaned in against him now. They were, by and by, getting much more accustomed to each other.
Bella breathed in the night air deeply. "It's such a difference from Texas. The air here is sweet and cool at night. Even at the worst heat, it is not so oppressive," she observed.
"Mmm," Edward hummed his agreement. "Have you enjoyed traveling?"
"I have liked seeing other places very much," she said softly.
He tilted his head, raising his free hand to brush the back of her cheek. "I will take you anywhere you wish, you know," he said, his voice low but fervent. "Perhaps in a year or two, we will travel abroad. Would that please you?"
"I..." she stumbled, her eyelashes fluttering. She had that look in her eyes that she sometimes got when she was about to speak her mind, and she was worried she might displease him. "I have enjoyed our time," she hedged.
"However..." he prompted.
The corner of her mouth turned down slightly, and she ducked her head, kissing the top of Peter's crown. "Right now, I wish to find my home before I think of leaving it," she said quietly.
His heart twisted, and again he wondered at her strength. He kissed her cheek tenderly, lingering for a moment more than was proper. "I hope so much you will be happy with me," he whispered on a sigh.
She slipped her arm around him. "I believe I will be."
~0~
As the carriage drew them closer to the heart of Chicago, Bella got more quiet. She was biting her lip with a vengeance, folding her gloved hands together over and over.
Carefully, he unwound her fingers from their tight grip on her handkerchief and squeezed her hand comfortingly.
She glanced at him and made an attempt to calm down, breathing in through her nose and back out again.
"There," he said on a breath, pointing out the carriage window. With all the devastation he'd seen, and the long journey it took to get here, Edward had almost believed that he would never see his childhood home again.
By the time the carriage pulled to a stop, Edward was nearly bouncing out of his skin. He hopped down to the ground quickly, reaching up to take Peter in his arms. He set the little boy on firm ground. Peter quickly wrapped himself around Edward's leg, looking about nervously. Edward spared a moment to ruffle the boy's head before he put his hands on either side of Bella's waist, helping her down from the carriage.
Bella's eyes were on the manor before her, her lips slightly parted as she took in the design.
"It's not as big by half as Jasper's old plantation," he remarked.
"Perhaps not," Bella murmured. "But it is quite palatial and grand in its own right."
At that he smiled and offered her his arm.
Before she could take it though, there was a commotion from the front of the house. "Edward! Oh! Mother, Mother it is him!" Edward looked up to see his sister, her long, jet black hair a mass of curls bobbling wildly, running at him.
He was running before he could think about it, crossing through the gate to the meet Alice at the middle of the courtyard. "Alice," he cried as she leaped, throwing her arms around his neck and hugging him so tightly he could barely breathe.
Edward was so happy, he didn't care. He hugged her back just as tightly. "Little sister. It's so good to see you."
Alice laughed, the sound a joyous tittering, and something in Edward's heart healed, hearing it. The last time he'd seen his sister, when their father had died, there was little laughter to be had.
Their reunion was interrupted by the sound of his mother's voice. Again, Edward's heart lurched in his chest, and he might have fallen to his knees weeping except he was desperate to hug his mother again.
"Edward. My God, Edward," Esme gasped, holding his face between her hands. "Are you really here?"
"I'm home, Mother," he murmured, wrapping his arms around her and burying his face at her neck like he were a small boy again.
Crying, Esme threw herself into a whole-hearted hug before she pulled back. "Oh, mercy! Edward. Am I hurting you? Aren't you wounded? I'm so sorry, my boy."
"No," Edward said quickly. "Really. I'm fine. Bella..." He cut off abruptly, his eyes going wide. "My, God!" He whirled around guiltily, finding Bella had crept closer with Peter in her arms, and she was watching them with shining eyes.
"My dear," he said, going to her side . "I am incredibly sorry."
"It's alright," she demurred.
"No, no it is not," Esme said, wiping away her tears and stepping up to them. "I'm sorry, dear one. We forgot our manners."
"Bella, this is my mother, Esme Cullen, and my sister, Alice Cullen," Edward introduced, wrapping his arm around Bella's waist. He stroked her back soothingly. "Mother, Alice, this is my wife," he said softly, pride leaking into his tone, "Isabella Cullen."
Smiling warmly, Esme took and clasped Bella's free hand in both of hers. "How very nice to meet you." Her grin widened as she looked to the little boy in her arms. "Well, who is this handsome young man?"
"This is Peter Jasper Whitlock," Bella introduced softly. Peter ducked his head shyly, hiding his face against Bella's neck.
"Hello, young Mr. Whitlock," Esme said gently, and Peter rolled his head slightly to look at her.
"Aren't you the most precious thing," Alice cooed. Reaching out, she twirled a lock of hair around her finger.
"Anyway, as I was saying. I am mended now," Edward murmured, squeezing Bella lightly. "Bella took very good care of me."
"Well," Esme said, dabbing at her eyes with her handkerchief. "Let's leave the luggage to Seth and go inside."
"Seth?" Edward echoed, falling into step with one arm around his wife and the other around his sister, tilting his head. "Little Seth?"
Esme's smile was wane. "Little is not a precise word any longer," she murmured, nodding in the direction of the house.
When Edward was about fifteen, he came across a young Indian boy trying to buy groceries for his family. Though the boy was only young, perhaps eight at the time, the grocer was pushing him out of the establishment.
Tearfully, Seth had explained the problem to Edward who took the boy by the hand and went with him to get the things he needed, glaring at the grocer, daring him with his eyes to say a word. The man had glowered but kept his tongue.
Since then, Seth had followed Edward more faithfully than a little dog, looking up to him like he was a hero. Carlisle, taking pity on the lad's situation, had started out paying him to help the gardener with the weeds. When Edward left for West Point, he'd been learning how to care for the horses.
Now, this same boy had grown so he looked to be an inch or two taller than Edward. If it weren't for the broad, excited grin that sparked when the boy saw him, Edward might not have recognized him.
"Edward!" he said excitedly, and then seemed to remember himself. He cleared his throat and bowed slightly. "I mean. Mr. Cullen, welcome home."
"Thank you, Seth," Edward said, nodding at him.
"Seth, darling. Please see that the luggage is taken to the appropriate rooms," Esme asked.
"Yes, ma'am," Seth said, nodding again. He offered Edward one more grin before he loped off to retrieve their luggage.
Turning back to the house, Edward was quiet for a moment, wondering what else had changed.
~0~
Afternoon turned into evening before Edward was finally leading Bella and Peter on a tour of the house. He saved the hall where their bedroom was at for last seeing as Peter's eyes were drooping. He clutched the little cloth doll Alice had made for him even as he laid his sleepy head on Bella's shoulder.
Entering the room that had once been Rosalie's, for the time she stayed with them, Edward found that the space had been transformed. It was a small boy's paradise now, and Edward thought he recognized the train set in one corner as being Emmett's, at one time.
It got Peter's attention for sure. He raised his head, his tired eyes wide. He patted Bella on the shoulder and pointed excitedly.
"It's very grand, isn't it, sugar?" Bella murmured, looking around the room with a smile. She turned to Esme and Alice who watched from the doorway. "I don't know how to thank you."
"Oh, honey," Esme said with a wave of her hand.
Smiling, Edward backed out of the room, wanting to see that his old room had been converted to be comfortable for them both. He was unquestionably nervous, wanting badly for Bella to be pleased by her new home.
He peered into his old room only to be startled.
Nothing was as he remembered it. This space didn't look like his at all.
He turned and found his mother had followed him out into the hallway. "Mother, my room, I mean our room..."
"That is the guestroom," his mother said gently. "Your room is at the end of the hallway."
Edward blinked, not quite understanding. It was true, he'd been long gone from home, but he was sure he knew where his bedroom was. "That's your room," he argued lightly.
Esme chuckled and smiled at him. "You are the man of this house, Edward. The master bedroom should be yours. You didn't expect to keep yourself and your wife in your old room, did you?"
"It's more than adequate," he insisted, not liking the idea of kicking his mother out of the space that had always been hers. "Besides, where will you go?"
"I am an old widowed woman. I have no need for such a large quarters," she said firmly. "If you have need of me, I've taken Emmett's old room on the bottom story."
Edward opened his mouth, but his mother raised a finger, silencing him. "It's done. I'm still your mother, Edward. You won't argue with me."
He sighed, and pulled her into a hug. "I missed you, Mother."
She hugged him back and patted his cheek. "I know, my boy. I know."
~0~
It was, Edward thought, a little awkward to think he would take his wife to their marital bed in the room he was used to belong to his parents.
The room was different from what he remembered, and that helped slightly. He would speak to Bella, and they would decorate the space to reflect their shared taste - whatever that turned out to be.
Peter was long asleep, and Esme and Alice had let them alone to settle down after their long trip.
The luggage had been unpacked and put away by the servants while the reunited family had been speaking, save for one piece. Obviously not knowing where to put it, they had left the simple wooden box on the nightstand.
Edward held the thing now, feeling stupid for having forgotten the gift he'd bought Bella before they left Houston.
She stood, he knew, at the basin behind the screen, getting ready for bed. He could hear the drip drop of water, and imagined her moving the cloth over her bare skin. Of course, Edward's home had a proper bath, but it was late. The servants had all gone home, and there was no one to carry the hot water to fill the tub.
Turning the box over in his hand, Edward tried not to think about how the water would look coursing over her skin, falling over the curve of her breast.
They had yet to consummate their marriage.
Bella stepped out from behind the screen, and Edward's breath caught in his throat. He took her in from head to toe, thinking how lovely she looked with her hair spilling down her back so naturally, and her body devoid of all the usual layers of her daytime clothing.
Edward stretched a hand out, and she approached him shyly, putting her hand in his and letting him tug her to him.
"Your home is very lovely," she said softly, sitting next to him on the bed.
He wrapped his arms around her, stroking her cheek. "It is your home, too," he reminded her.
She sighed, closing her eyes. "That will take some getting used to, I think. But I do like it here. Your mother and sister are so kind."
"They like you," he murmured, kissing her cheeks and the tip of her nose with gentle brushes of his lips.
"Do they?" she asked uncertainly.
"Genuinely, they do," he said firmly. Propping his hand underneath her chin, he tilted her head up so she could see his eyes. "How could they not? You are... You are such a remarkable woman, Bella."
She closed her eyes, sighing softly in pleasure when he kissed her then. She laid her head on his chest and together, they breathed for a moment.
"I keep thinking that my father would have loved them," she said softly after a time.
Edward's free hand tightened around the little box again. "That reminds me. I have something for you."
Bella raised her head, looking at him dubiously. She laughed, and it was good to see the confident spark in her eye. She'd been so uncharacteristically withdrawn and nervous today. "Why, Mr. Cullen. You've given me too much as it is. I can't keep up."
He grinned at her. "I could give you the world, and to me, it would not be enough, Mrs. Cullen," he said gently, his voice deep with sincerity. "If I could, I would pull down the stars for you."
He might have felt foolish for saying such ridiculous things but the way her lips quirked up made it more than worthwhile.
"As it is, though, you will have to settle on this," he murmured, placing the box on her lap.
She sighed, giving him a mockingly disparaging look, and opened the thing. She gasped, her hand shooting to her mouth. "Oh my God," she exclaimed softly. "Edward... how..."
"When we were at the market, I saw you give it to the shopkeeper as payment," he explained. "I guessed it was important to you."
Bella took the heavy gold ring and the chain it was on out of the box with trembling fingers. She squeezed it tightly, a small sob escaping her lips. She turned abruptly and threw her arms around his neck, tugging him close. Before he knew it, she was peppering his face with kiss after kiss.
Edward found himself elated at the thought he had pleased her so much. He wrapped his arms tighter around her, delighting in her giggles.
"Thank you," she said breathlessly, kissing his cheeks and his chin. "Thank you," she said again and kissed his lips.
As quickly as the giddy emotion came between them, it passed, bringing in its wake something headier and much more dizzying.
Pulling back slightly, Edward caught her face in his hands, stroking tears off her cheeks with his thumbs. "You are happy?" he asked, his voice low and gravely.
She took a breath, the sound a little shaky, but her eyes sincere as she nodded. "Yes," she whispered.
He moved his hands, letting them trail down her cheek, brushing her hair back off her shoulders, away from her face. "You're happy with me?"
She licked her lips, her eyes hooded and tender as she looked on him. She raised her hand to his shoulders, stroking the back of his neck lightly. "Yes," she said simply.
Slowly, he took her hand in both of his, taking the ring from her. When he leaned in to set the ring on the nightstand, his body brushed against hers. She gave a little gasp but didn't move, and when he pulled back she was watching, biting her lip.
Taking a long, deep breath, wishing his heart wasn't pounding with the ferocity of horses hooves, Edward reached for her again. He drew his hands up and down her back, kissing her lips slowly, so tenderly.
Again, he wished he had pretty words for her. What he felt, at that moment, was poetry. He understood why so many men had spent so much time trying to find the most beautiful words to describe what he was feeling right now, to try to encapsulate what was happening between them.
He wanted to be joined with this woman and this woman alone, with their bodies as their lives had been.
His throat was tight with emotion and nerves as he raised his fingers to the buttons of her gown. Keeping his eyes on hers, hoping she could see what he didn't know how to say, he began to undo the buttons one by one.
Bella's lips were parted as she looked up at him. He could feel her chest rise and fall quickly against his hand. She said nothing, nor did she protest or whimper.
Of course, that didn't necessarily mean that she wasn't frightened. Bella was nothing if not brave.
Her eyes, though nervous, were also steady, and though he might have been seeing what he wanted to see in the soft light from the lamp, he thought there was a hint of want there.
When he had her buttons halfway undone down her front, Bella shrugged her shoulders, letting the fabric slip down her arms.
At that, Edward did let his eyes stray.
As enticing as her bare breasts had been when he watched her the night of the thunderstorm, they were a hundred times as alluring when they were right in front of him. Feeling almost like a teenage boy again, Edward raised his hand. She was small enough that he could fit his entire palm over her, though he did not. Instead, he experimentally drew the pads of two fingers across her nipple.
She gasped lightly, and when he looked up he saw that her eyes were closed and her face flushed. He wondered desperately what she was thinking. The little moan she made as he continued to stimulate her made him hope she was enjoying his ministrations. Perhaps that was why she seemed a little embarrassed. Proper ladies were not supposed to revel in their husband's attention in this way.
Well, to hell with that.
If he could make his wife feel good, he was damn well going to do it.
Pulling her with him to their feet, Edward kissed her again, a little harder this time, as her gown fell to the floor. He let his hands trace the lines of her body, following the slender curve of her hip and brushing over her buttocks. He loved the tiny little gasps his touch elicited, and the way she moaned into his mouth.
Trying his best not to stop kissing her, for he was intoxicated by her taste, Edward quickly shrugged out of his own clothing, wondering why he had not done this sooner. Already he was addicted to the the feel of her skin beneath his, hard and smooth in places, soft and supple in just the right ways.
When he pulled their nude bodies together, he remembered himself and one of the many reasons why he hadn't rushed to this point. She was trembling lightly in his arms, and he did not think it was all due to the slight chill in the room.
Breathing deeply, not wanting the insistent need below his belt to dictate his actions, Edward stooped slightly, pulling her up into his arms. Her hands wound trustingly around his neck, and she watched him as he laid her down in the center of their bed.
He kissed her with slow, little kisses as he positioned himself over her, holding his weight on his arms. "Look at me," he requested, his voice a caress.
Her eyes met his, her eyelashes fluttering nervously.
"I will be gentle with you, always," he promised.
She took a deep breath - he could feel her breasts rise and fall under his chest - and reached up to cup his cheek. "I know," she said, swallowing hard. "I... I don't know why... I can't stop shaking."
"Shhh," he murmured, understanding with certainty then that she must be a virgin. He was both endlessly relieved and a thousand times more apprehensive. He didn't relish the thought of hurting her, even a little bit.
Leaning in, he rained little kisses about her face and neck. "Hold on to me," he said against her ear. "We will go slow. I promise."
Her arms tightened around him in response.
Holding himself on one arm, he used his free hand to gently brush down her body, starting at her neck, and stroking slowly across her breasts, down her side, and over her belly, kissing her all the while. Slowly, her shaking subsided and her tense posture relaxed. She kissed him back, and he was able to draw those little moans he so loved from her parted lips.
When he positioned himself at her entrance she spread her legs to welcome him, and he slid inside her with slow, even thrusts. Her nails dug into the skin of his shoulders when he took her maidenhead, and he heard her little gasp by his ear, but her grip soon loosened, and when he began to move inside her, she stroked the hair at the back of his neck.
Making love to a woman was so much better than he could have imagined. Edward did not believe that any of his father's books could have put words to how it felt to join with Bella. Nothing could have prepared him for the awing depth of what he felt with her body surrounded by his, her walls tight, slick, and hot around him.
Perhaps he had entered his house that morning, coming to stay after so many years away, but it was only then, his body tangled with his beautiful wife's, the woman he'd promised to love, honor, and protect all their lives, that he finally felt at home.
A/N: MrsSpaceCowboy said: You do realize even S Meyer let him have sex on their wedding night, right? ;)
I lawled.
So sorry about not replying to reviews this time around. Hello to you small slew of new readers! I enjoyed your reviews ever so much. Very insightful, and I'm glad you're enjoying.
Many thanks to barburella and jadedandboring.
So! Edward is the man of the house now, eh? Let's see how this goes.