Author's Note: Thank you for the reads/reviews. Find me on Tumblr/Twitter under SepticLovebite.
TWDTWDTWD
They didn't stop for twenty miles. It was only when Rick's car needed gas that they pulled over and the thunderstorm raged on. The wind had picked up, causing the truck to rattle, forcing the convoy to slower speeds to stay straight on the road.
Carol had always hated thunderstorms, even as a little girl. There was something so eery about the darkness that got lit up for just a flash of a second. The way the sky seemed to roar in her ears. She always used to run to her parent's bedroom as a little girl, seeking comfort. When she had her own little girl, she was grateful for her, comforting her daughter helped her cope with her own fear.
Now, it was a thousand times worse. Daryl had left her in the truck alone whilst he topped up the gas tank, before jogging over to Rick and Glenn to discuss the next step for the group. She could barely make out his figure even in the glow of the headlamps, the rain was lashing so hard.
She pulled the blankets around her tighter, building herself a cocoon and she sat on the edge of the truck bench until he came running back to the car, soaked to the skin. She immediately threw the blankets off herself to rifle in the back of the truck, looking for something for him to change into for the second time that night.
"Stop fussin', it's just a little rain." He snapped at her, pulling her back round. He didn't mean to lose his temper, but he was tired and cold, despite what he told her. It never got easier being so harshly ripped from peace and thrown into back into the thick of things. It didn't help that Carol hadn't stopped trembling since she woke up and he hated seeing her like that. It made him feel like crap, like he wasn't doing enough for her. Truth was, he wasn't doing enough for her, because if he was, she wouldn't have had to take out that Walker. Just like she shouldn't have had to kill Andrew.
"You'll get sick if you stay in the those things." She whispered, tugging her wrist free to go back to her searching. "Are we staying here?"
He nodded wearily, pushing the lock down on the door and shoving the shotgun onto the dashboard. Carol handed him the dry clothes and he reluctantly took them from her. There didn't seem much point. He wouldn't sleep again now, he was too wired up and he wouldn't risk it while they were out in the open, exposed. He had wanted to move on, but the weather made driving difficult and Rick insisted they stop for a few more hours rest, lest someone fall asleep at the wheel.
He changed quickly, pulling his boots back on and putting his coat on the dashboard, just in case.
"Come on, try t'get back to sleep." He told her, gesturing for her to rest against him. She gave him a look that suggested she knew that he didn't intend to sleep and she wasn't happy about it, but he pulled his eyes from her, so he could avoid the talking to he really didn't want to hear at that moment.
He pulled her to him, pushing her down to rest against his thigh, but she resisted.
"You have to rest too." She told him, voice almost too soft to be heard against the pounding rain.
"'m fine." He told her firmly, leaving no room for argument. "I had enough earlier."
She just sighed, dragging the sleeping bag over to him so that if he wouldn't sleep, he would at least be warm. She settled herself to lie down on the bench, dragging the blankets over herself tight, tucking her head against his thigh. He didn't look down to her at all, eyes fixed on the darkness ahead. He didn't touch her, one arm resting on the door of the truck, the other at his mouth, teeth chewing at his fingernails.
"Daryl."
He looked down at her, her eyes wide, pulling his hand from his mouth. Carol made to say something but he turned away from her. "Stop ya fuckin' fussin', Christ." He huffed out and he could feel her recoil against his leg. "Aw, fuck, don't-" Carol sat up, hurt and pulled away towards the door. She didn't say anything to him, turning her back to him, curling herself up against the window of the passenger side, feet tucked under her.
Daryl let out a sigh and rubbed his hands over his face. "Carol, fuck, it's just-"
"I'm trying to sleep." She told him acidly, throwing him a look over her shoulder and turning back into her blankets.
Daryl felt his rage build and he wanted to storm out of the truck, except he couldn't leave her, despite wanting to. He settled for slamming his fist against the steering wheel and he tried to pretend he didn't see her visibly jump. "Fine, fuck you then." He muttered churlishly. She didn't respond.
Carol didn't sleep, even though she tried. The door was not a comfy spot and she wished she hadn't pulled away from Daryl, if only to get a little rest. It didn't help that she could hear him awake behind her, sighing occassionally, fingers drumming along the steering wheel. She didn't understand what put him in such a foul mood and what she did to deserve it. They got out safe, no-one got bit and the only damage was a few wet clothes. If anything, Carol felt she deserved at least a "well done". She killed her first Walker. She took control of her own protection. She didn't know if Daryl knew that she'd never killed a Walker before tonight, but he must have had a clue. She'd been around him long enough.
She tried to push the thought from her head, but she couldn't help but think that maybe Daryl had grown tired of her. She wondered how could she have thought earlier in the evening that he might have missed her? She had tried not to burden him. Not anymore than she had before they'd started sleeping together, anyhow. She tried to give him space if she could, but he never seemed to need it. He chose to share her bed, aside from the morning after Andrew attacked her, she had never asked him to stay.
By the time light had started to come, the thunder and lightening had stopped, although the rain and the wind were relentless. She jolted upright when the truck's engine roared to life and Carol realised that she must have slept, if only for a few minutes. Daryl definitely hadn't, she could tell just by the quick glance that she managed to give him. His hair was standing on end, as if his hands had been running through it all night and he had dark rings around his eyes.
Carol would apologise. Even though she didn't know what she had done wrong, if anything at all. It would be easy, she had apologised for things that weren't her fault thousands of times in her life, just to keep the peace. She would have to. She did not want to cause upset within the group. It was bad enough that Lori and Rick were constantly at each other's throats. If Daryl wanted her to swap places with someone else in the truck, she would, no matter how much it would hurt.
He fidgeted at he followed the other cars, hand going from his mouth to the gear stick, to beating a rhythm on his thigh and fiddling with the gun tucked into his waistband. He could feel her occassional glance at him and he tried not to look back at her. His temper was still short and it made him even worse knowing that it was being unleashed on the last person he ever wanted to rage at. He was only angry with himself.
"I-" Carol physically turned to face him, starting to speak to him but not knowing how to word it. "If, if you would prefer me to go in Rick's car, I'll swap the next time we pull over." Her voice was small, soft. Trying to please him. As if she were frightened of him. It made him feel sick. He frightened her.
"What?" He pulled his eyes from the road, shaking his head with disbelief.
"I'm sorry, whatever I did -" She pushed the blankets from herself, scooting closer to him.
"What the fuck are ya goin' on 'bout?" Daryl couldn't believe his ears. He had been the one losing his temper at her and she was apologising to him? "You ain't fuckin' done anythin'!"
She didn't seem to know what to say to that.
"You ain't done shit." He repeated, hand going to his eyes.
"Then, why are you so -" She began to ask, stopping herself from using a word that might provoke him even further.
Daryl reached out to grab her hand and groaned when she froze under his touch. "You shouldn't haveta have killed that Walker." He wrapped his fingers around her fist and she finally relaxed under his touch.
"I did what I had to do! I'm glad I did it too. I've done worse, Daryl." She told him, winding her fingers through his. She saw where he was going with this now. She understood. He thought he failed her.
"And ya shouldn't have had to do that neither!" He squeezed her fingers tight as he spoke, teeth gritted as he spat out the words. "I can't fuckin' protect you. I'm failin' you, just like I fuckin' failed Sophia!" The words were like a knife in his heart, but they were true. He couldn't rescue that little girl, just like he hadn't been able to rescue Carol from Andrew or from last night's Walker.
Carol bristled. "Pull over." She ordered.
"I can't." He threw his hand out to gesture to the cars in the front of their convoy.
"Just pull the damned truck over, Daryl." Her voice was steely, her gaze burning.
He sighed and slammed the brakes on, twisting the wheel to pull the car over some. He wondered if she was about to storm out of the cab and he watched to see if Glenn noticed he was no longer following them.
"Daryl." Carol yanked his hand, jerking his attention to her. "Sophia's death is not your cross to bear. You did everything for her, more than anyone, including me. It could've been anyone of us that got separated that day on the highway. Anyone of us that got bit. Plenty of better-equipped people have died. There's only so much we can do. Sophia is at peace. She's safe now." She could feel the tears welling up and she swallowed, forcing them back. She looked up and she could see the cars ahead and stopped, Glenn was reversing back to meet them.
"I'm not...I want to live. I want to be here as long as I can. So I am trying. I'm never going to be toting a gun around like I was born with it in my hand. But I'm going to try. I promised you I would. And as for Andrew...honestly? Killing him was easy." Daryl jerked his head up at her admission, surprise etched on his features. She nodded her head to reiterate her words. "It was a choice between Beth and I or him. It was easy. I will do it again, if I have to."
She could see Glenn jogging over to Daryl's side of the truck and Daryl pulled his gaze from her to roll down his window.
"Everything alright, man?" Glenn's brows were drawn together, confusion on his face.
"'S fine. Give us a minute, we'll get goin' again."
Glenn stepped back, turning towards his car. "You sure?" He asked hesitantly.
Daryl just nodded and Carol gave the younger man a soft smile to reassure him. Glenn nodded and jogged back to the car, waving to Rick.
"Don't carry the guilt with you." She told him as he turned the engine back on and he just nodded at her as he pulled the car back onto the road. She pushed herself right up into his side now, his hand had pulled away from hers to use the gear stick, but he was receptive to her touch, allowing her to curl her hand around his thigh, her shoulder pressed against his. She turned her head to his, pressing a kiss against his cheek. She didn't see it, but she felt his cheek lift under her lips and she knew he was smiling.
TWDTWDTWD
It was another night spent along the side of the road. The rain had stopped, so they ate together outside, although they did not risk building a fire, just in case they attracted unwanted attention. He had handed her her gun when she stepped out of the truck and she tucked it into her waistband. She didn't want it, but she would take it. And she would use it if she had to. Daryl had been at the truck whilst Carol prepared dinner as best as she and Lori could and she knew he was moving things about, although she couldn't see him from her spot against, Rick's car, which was shielding her from the wind.
By the time the light started to fade, they were all dead on their feet. Carol suspected that she and Daryl were not the only ones to stay awake all night, judging by the dark rings around several of the group's eyes.
She bid everyone good night and followed Daryl into the truck. He opened the door and she saw that he had pulled one side of the bench forward to expose the sleeping area of the cab. It had been emptied of their things and she could see them on the floor of passenger side of the truck.
She just smiled it him as she stepped onto the running board and she sat on the edge of the bench to pull off her coat and boots before squeezing herself into the little sleeping space. She crawled up to the top end of it, where Daryl had put their only pillow and pulled the gun from her waistband, tucking it under the pillow.
He followed her lead, unlacing his boots and throwing his jacket onto the dashboard before slamming the door shut, checking the locks. It would be an extremely tight squeeze with the two of them. They wouldn't both be able to sleep on their backs. But clearly that wasn't Daryl's intention anyway because he settled himself right over her, propping himself up on his elbows so that she wasn't crushed by his weight.
Carol wrapped her arms around his back as he pressed his mouth to hers, letting him push her lips apart, his tongue darted into her mouth. It was a lazy kiss, but she responded just as slowly, she could see his eyes were heavy, he was in desperate need of sleep, just as she was. He was grinding himself into her and her body involuntarily responded, hips arching into him and she could feel him growing hard against her. He pushed her shirt and camisole up with one hand, exposing her stomach and sliding his hand over her breast. His mouth trailed down her jaw, kissing and suckling her neck before his lips skimmed her collar bones, finally stopping at her breast. He took her nipple in his mouth, running his tongue over the hard nub, nipping lightly with his teeth. Carol shivered and moaned under his weight, one hand clenching the blanket underneath her in pleasure.
He stayed there for a little while but could feel his pace getting slower. She thought he was practically dropping off to sleep and he fondled her and she cupped his jaw, pulling him up to her face.
"You can't even keep your eyes open." She chuckled at him, stroking his chin with her thumb.
"'m fine." He mumbled at her, but his eyes were half shut, hands fumbling.
"Sleep." She told him, lifting herself up to reach for the edge of the sleeping bag to zip it around them. Daryl didn't protest as she tucked it up tight and he turned her around so her back was pressed up against his chest and he pressed his hand to her crotch, pushing her back onto his hard dick and she gasped at the sudden action, sending a small tremble of pleasure into her core.
"That's not fair." She moaned and he smirked against her neck, curling his fingers into the fabric of her pants a little tighter.
"You were the one who said no fuckin' in the truck." He whispered into her skin and she sighed at her own stupid rule.
"If I wasn't so tired, that rule would be out the window." She sighed, pulling his hand from her pants to rest on her waist instead. She was sure he mumbled something in response, but she was so close to sleep she didn't hear it.