A/N: And the story continues on... I am a big fan of lengthy stories, so settle in. We will on this ride for a while.
And once again, thank you for reading, reviews and alerts.
I do not own Criminal Minds
"Penelope, sweetheart. Time to get up." Hotch stroked her hair gently. Her alarm went off five minutes ago and she still hadn't woken. Perhaps he tired her out last night. He'd like to think so.
"Uhg. Ten more minutes." She pleaded, drowsily.
"You'll be late for work." He nuzzled her, once again spooning as they had after the first time they spent the night together in Dallas. He was up and ready to play this time as well, but she did have work.
"Calling in. My boss was suspended; he won't be there to mind." She teased him, wondering whether he would react to that or the fact that she was rubbing her ass into his erection. She never thought she could be so turned on in the morning when she was still basically half asleep.
"Hmm. So long as you charge it as a personal day." She was driving him wild right now with her rubbing, her hand now having reached behind her to grab his ass.
"Of course. Just don't make me regret using it." She warned, knowing that was impossible as his hands ran down over her naked body. She was already wet just feeling him naked next to her.
"Let me kiss you."
She complied, turning her head just enough so they could make contact, surprised when she felt his hands drift between her legs to gauge her readiness, and once they felt how prepared she was, another part of his anatomy in the vicinity as well.
"This alright?" he asked, his erection right at the ready to enter her from behind.
She could only nod and open her legs more, letting him hook the top one back and over his hip.
"Oh Aaron." She was moaning his name in those same tones that drove him to the brink last night. Did she purposely do that, knowing what it did to him? "Please. Please." She begged, she needed him in her right now.
"Relax. I will take care of everything."
She followed his direction, letting herself get lost in the feeling of him tease her, enter her and thrust while his hands, both free in this position, stroked and petted every inch of her skin. Oh did this man know how to take care of everything. It was his nature, she shouldn't be surprised it translated to the bedroom as well. And for once she didn't feel she had to prove her worth in bed like she used to feel with previous partners. She could just be, let herself get pampered while he got his fix.
He was never going to get enough of her. It was certain. Her curves, her warmth, the way she responded to his touch. It was beyond intoxicating. She was mesmerizing to watch with her eyes closed, getting every bit of enjoyment from his ministrations as she could extract. This was his version of happiness—her.
"Oh God!" she couldn't take anymore, couldn't hold back as her orgasm rocked her to her core, feeling Aaron react to it with his own.
They took a moment, holding one another in their embrace until she turned to face him. She kissed his nose. "You." His cheek. "Are." His lips. "Incredible."
"No. That compliment is reserved only to you." He insisted, not letting her up for air in the onslaught of kisses he laid upon her, running his hands over her back and under to her heavy breasts yet again.
"Oh God. If you don't stop that we will never leave this bed."
"That's fine with me." He shrugged, he really could just live here forever.
She laughed a true, happy laugh. "You're insatiable."
"Can you blame me when I have you here? I don't know how Morgan kept his hands off you all these years."
"You did too ya know."
"And I was a fool for waiting." He assured her, sternly.
She sat back, just looking at him. How did she get this lucky? How did she find a man who really cared so deeply for her? And how could life be so merciful that the man to feel this way for her also be the man she most felt this for?
"I need help Aaron." She decided to look down, embarrassed.
He was suddenly entirely concerned. What could be wrong? She just seemed so happy. "What is it? Anything you need."
The level of devotion in his voice struck her, almost made her feel guilty for making him suffer for that moment. But, it was all in an attempt to reward him later. "Well you see, I can never seem to reach my back in the shower."
That wicked woman! He threw her pillow at her and she returned it in a fit of giggles, the two wrestling and finally rolling off the bed with a hard thud onto the floor, still wrapped in one another's arms and panting from their laughter.
"Ok, ok. I give up." She yelled, now being relentlessly tickled. It's so much more effective when you are naked.
"Good." He stood abruptly, reaching a hand down to her and pulling her upright before picking her over his shoulder cave-man style and carrying her into the bathroom. "I promise you and I are both going to enjoy this."
"Oh, I have no doubt of that."
-Criminal Minds—
"Hey." Pen greeted him as he returned to the kitchen where she was finishing breakfast. He was busy towel drying his hair.
"Finish off the shower well?" her smirk rose to one side, loving the idea he had to kick her out, unable to focus on getting clean when all her presence made him want was to get dirty again and again.
"Yes. Thank you. What did you make? I told you I would take you out."
She shrugged. "I like cooking. I just never had the time or anyone to do it for, before."
He nodded and took a seat at the island, buttering the toast for her. "I can understand. I used to actually try when I had time. Now with Jack it's a few dishes that are let's just say, not grown up food."
She laughed sharply. "You need to relax. You have two weeks to do it now right?" she was glad she thought of that, because what her instinct to say was 'You need a wife.'
"I still have to report to a few meetings, and I have to do paperwork from home. But yeah, I can relax some."
She finished placing the veggie omelets she made onto their plates with toast and fruit salad and sat next to him, excited to start a rare day off together. "So what are your plans for today?"
"Well, I was thinking we could go shopping this morning. I need to get a present for Reid. And then maybe lunch? Rossi wants to meet up with us. I think Emily too." He saw the question rise on her face. "Before you ask, I have no clue what is or isn't going on there."
"Darn it. I really hoped you would. Chocolate Bear isn't talking either." She sighed, resigned that she will have to just learn whatever it is whenever they all decide to break down. "Why are you getting a present for Reid?"
"He's done so much for me. I can never begin to thank him enough." He turned back to finishing off his plate. He wasn't prepared to tell her how close she had come to being stabbed again.
"I'd like to visit JJ too, if that's alright with you."
He nodded. "I think that would be a great. You really are an excellent friend Pen. We are all lucky to have you. Especially me." And before she could protest he kissed her chastely but to the point, showing her he appreciated all of her. He really did, and soon he would tell her everything when it came to the extent of his feelings for her. But for now, they had work to do and a family to attend.
-Criminal Minds—
Emily elbowed Rossi in the side as they approached the table where Hotch and Garcia were waiting for them and she whispered "I told you they would get it on last night."
"I heard that Em. What gave us away?"
Rossi chuckled at the guilty look on her face. "Just the mark on your neck, pumpkin."
Penelope checked her neck in her compact and sure enough a good sized hickey was marking her. She looked over at Aaron and he shrugged. He wasn't ashamed at making his loving of her known to the world. She swatted at him playfully before picking up her menu to shield her whisper to him.
"When did I get this?" she asked in a voice that said he was going to be in fun trouble later on.
"When we made out in the dressing room at Macy's."
Emily and Rossi looked to one another and couldn't help the cackle that broke the couple from their conversation. "Making out in dressing rooms Hotch? You're a pure delinquent." Emily teased, knowing full well that the blush to rise on their faces was a happy moment for everyone at the table. All the better, Hotch and Garcia seemed entirely distracted by the memory, their revelry issuing another, quieter laugh between herself and Rossi.
It had been quite a moment, if Aaron could say so himself. He was never like this with anyone before. But after years of holding off, denying his feelings and attraction he was addicted to her in every way. And he simply had to show her his appreciation when she talked him out of a gift certificate for Reid but rather a tie that she knew JJ would love.
And of course, an appreciation for how she looked in the new dress she was trying on in the unisex changing room. He loved her in her usual outfits but she had needed something formal for her role in a stage production in which she would take lead in a few months' time. It was stunning on her. A deep red so dark it looked almost black, flutter sleeve that met at a boat neck and a mermaid cut that lengthened her profile making her look like a delectable little treat. When she came into the main hall of the dressing area to show him it was like a Christmas present, he simply had to unwrap it.
"Could you get my zipper down?" she had asked, poking her head back out to the empty room, calling him into her stall.
He complied, aware she had no idea the effect she was having on him. He locked the stall behind them and that was her first clue, the second being his hands under her zipper and sliding to cup her breasts.
"Oh God." She moaned.
"Not so loud." He whispered in warning tones. "I don't want to have to use my badge if we get caught."
She grunted in satisfaction that he would even think to do that, wondering exactly what he had in store for her as his lips traced down the back of her neck, finally settling on her pulse point.
He could have taken her, right there and then but it wasn't good enough for her in his opinion. Besides, he hadn't gotten to just make out with her yet and they already did it four times in the last twelve hours. So he continued his tasting of every inch of exposed skin and turned her around, deeply kissing her with more love than passion.
"Tonight." He promised as he pulled away and rested his forehead to hers. "Waiting will make it all the sweeter."
Emily coughed and David responded. "Alright, snap out of it you two." Rossi warned affectionately. He positively loved the glow on their faces this morning. It has been too long since either had been this happy.
"Yeah." Hotch shook the dirty thoughts rising out of his head. "So, how is everyone back at work?"
They both shrugged in unison, the motion a little creepy. "It's really just us. Morgan also called in today and Reid came in for a few hours to gather some work for home. JJ isn't doing too great I guess."
Hotch nodded sadly. "We are going over there right after we finish lunch with you guys. She's still at Reid's right?"
Emily nodded. "Yeah. Surprisingly Reid really manned up, he made Will sign the papers to establish he isn't Henry's father despite being born in marriage. So, with the divorce papers signed too they should be all set in a few months. They are as good as moved in together I think."
That was fast. Hotch couldn't help but be thankful that Reid seemed to be taking care of these things for JJ. Divorce was hard enough, but with what she is going through, well having someone to do the leg work really makes things better.
"Good. I'll have an excuse to give JJ a housewarming present." Garcia broke in, trying to lighten the divorce tainted mood.
Hotch looked to her, a thought dawning on his face. "Is that why you bought the quesadilla maker?" At her nod he let himself teasingly frown. "I thought that was for us."
Her heart thudded, and so did Emily's. He called them a couple, an 'us'! She looked to Dave and he seemed to be having the same proud and excited reaction to this. Truthfully, it made them both eager to see their friends move through this, even if it was a sudden acceleration. But after years it just made sense. It wasn't like either of them was going to be terribly surprised by the demands of work or the responsibilities of raising Jack.
"You two are adorable." The waitress couldn't help herself. Surprisingly though, this wasn't directed at the new couple kissing on one side of the booth. Rather it was directed at the two watching them with happiness painted head to toe at the sight.
"Oh. Um, thank you." Rossi returned, unsure of how to respond to that.
Hotch caught that moment even through their kissing and used nuzzling Pen's ear as an excuse to hide his whisper. "See that? Even strangers wonder if something is going on there."
She nuzzled back. "Hmm. I wonder if we should confront them on it."
They pulled back and looked to one another, in unison. "Later."
The four friends shared a leisurely lunch, discussing everything under the sun from Rossi's latest book tour to Jack's upcoming spelling bee in a few days to when they first thought something was up between Reid and JJ and laughing when Garcia informed them that from now on she was going to be more careful and thorough in her electronic surveillance of them all.
It was a great time all around but sadly it had to end with Rossi and Emily back to work and Hotch and Penelope off to see the worsening JJ.
-Criminal Minds-
"I believe the presence of a 'hickey' is supposed to allow me to assume you consummated your relationship last night?" Reid asked as they stood at his door.
"Nice way to answer the door genius boy." She playfully swatted at his cheek and ushered herself and Hotch inside. They had never been to his apartment before. It was less of a bachelor pad than they each imagined. It was incredibly neat, almost not lived in which isn't surprising considering how little any of the team actually spends at home.
The living room was fairly large and housed a built-in style bookcase on two walls, a leather chair tucked in the corner. A moderately sized television (which they were sure only got use when JJ was over) was framed by a large display case housing photographs and collectibles and sat across for a long leather sofa.
"Well, I'll give you the tour." Reid led them through the living room. "Here is the kitchen. Nothing special. And here is our bedroom." The kitchen really was plain, but the bedroom had obviously been recently painted with feminine touches added here and there, such as a deep blue duvet and floral throw pillows on the bed.
Hotch and Garcia shared a look at that, so it was official that they lived together it seemed.
"And here is Henry's room. I'll have to paint it and redo a bunch of things in here but as you can see we got just about everything from his old room." In fact, he had spent a good portion of the night tiptoeing around the room to make sure everything got to where it needed to be. He knew Henry was still confused about how he suddenly had a different father but that didn't mean he wasn't going to show his love for the boy. And it showed. It used to be Reid's office but now all that furniture and equipment was re-purposed and held Henry's toys and children's books, the walls covered in posters of his favorite characters.
"It looks great. You guys really did a lot since we got back."
Reid looked to his feet. "JJ has been having random bouts of energy. Suddenly she will need to focus and have a project only to drop it if the tiniest thing goes wrong. She's slipping into a deeper depression than she's letting on. I don't know how to handle it."
Hotch could read that pain, understand the difficulty. They both understood psychology, obviously. But you can't be clinical with the woman you love and that makes you feel all the more helpless. "Well, that's what friends are for. Tell you what, I'm going to take you for coffee and we can leave the girls to chat. Speaking of which, where is JJ?"
"Oh, she's on the heated porch. And, yeah, I could use the coffee break if you mean it."
"Of course I do." He turned to Pen and gave her a quick kiss. "About an hour?"
"Make it two, take him to that learning store you buy Jack's toys at. Teach him the ropes of being a dad." She stood on her toes to kiss him back and then turned her attention to the hall where Reid directed her towards JJ.
"Hey Jayjee." She tried hiding the concern and sadness in her voice at the image of her friend cuddled in a protective ball on the wicker chaise, staring off into oblivion. "Mind if I sit with you?"
JJ nodded her consent. She didn't trust anyone other than Garcia at the moment. She hadn't even let Reid or Henry touch her since Henry's hug last night made her think of motherhood and how motherhood landed her… Garcia was safe. Garcia understands. Garcia taking her curled up form into her lap and stroking her hair was a line back to sanity. She couldn't help her grateful sobs and the arm now clinging around her friend's waist.
"Shh." Garcia continued to pet her head, aware that this was a big moment for JJ. "I want you to tell me what is going through your head. Ok?"
JJ shook her head into their embrace. She wasn't ready for words yet.
Garcia sighed. Hotch had warned her of this on the drive there. "Tell her you want to hear her thoughts, but respect if she doesn't want to share them. She will. Just keep the conversation rolling on your own." That was his advice.
"Sometimes I thank God that you didn't just have another baby. It saved your life you know." It might have been insensitive, but it was the first honest thought to come to her.
JJ nodded and in the saddest voice Garcia ever heard revealed a secret. "I know. I would have been able to, too."
"What do you mean?"
"I had a miscarriage. I never told anyone. It was Reid's, conceived when Emily was still dead." Finally, she let herself poke a tear from her eye.
"Oh God, JJ. I had no idea, I am so sorry."
"You always say things happen for a reason. I suppose saving my life was the reason for that." She was still repressing her pain, but at least she was speaking about it.
Garcia didn't think she was prepared to handle this. She could understand the Carver situation, but she never lost a child. "Maybe. It's not for us to know. But I do know that you are such a great mother. If I ever have kids of my own I hope I am half as good."
"Yeah," she was incredulous. "Some good mother I am. I can't keep one in me and the other I hide who his real father is, emotionally scaring him, and can't even hug him when he cries in his confusion."
Penelope had to take a few minutes to adjust to this new reality of a severely depressed JJ. All the pain she just went through only brought out more trauma that she hadn't expected to be there. And it was breaking her heart to see her friend this way. They were family, family doesn't let this just happen.
She took Hotch and Rossi's advice about being insistent that it was an obligation for JJ to open up to her, so she wouldn't feel like she is a burden. "I'm so mad at you JJ. How could you not tell me things were getting this bad? I know I didn't go through all you went through with him, but I do know how terrifying it was to have my power stripped away."
"It's not—you are the only person who could ever understand and I am talking to you, but I don't want to tell you everything. You shouldn't have to know what you were almost subject to."
"And you claim to be a bad mother. You are protecting me, and I thank you for it. But you have to let it out. I am doing ok, I was saved in the nick of time from permanent emotional trauma. But honey, you weren't. I want that blonde head of yours in one piece again. So I demand you tell me whatever is on your mind whenever you are ready. I'm not going anywhere and I'm waiting for your calls. Understand?"
JJ nodded silently, overwhelmed with the knowledge that she really did have someone to cling to. She just wasn't up for much more chat. It seemed Garcia could see that as she pulled her higher in an embrace. "I brought my laptop with True Blood all queued up. Let's watch." She knew JJ hadn't caught up on missed episodes yet, glad when JJ actually seemed excited about watching. It was bliss to see her excited about anything.
And with that, Garcia maneuvered the laptop on the table in front of them, still holding her friend until JJ finally fell asleep in her arms.
Not long after, Reid and Hotch returned, the former thanking her silently and telling her it's the first JJ has really slept since they found her.
She and Hotch made their way quietly to the door and left the apartment wondering just how rough the road ahead was going to be.
-Criminal Minds—
"Did you have a good chat?" Pen asked as they loaded into the car.
"I was about to ask you the same thing." Hotch returned, obvious worry about JJ written all over his face and discomfort in not being able to provide anything for her.
"Probably one of the worst experiences of my life to be honest. I have never seen anyone so desperate, so in pain—" tears were making it hard to talk and she was only relieved when she felt the car pull over and Hotch now holding her. "She's in such bad shape. Do you think she can move on?"
Hotch nodded on top of her head. "It takes time. The next few weeks will be the hardest yet. But once she moves past it, begins accepting what happened, she will move on. It's worse for her I think, than a normal victim because she was supposed to be the protector, but whether or not he did what he did to the last girl in front of her she had to know it was going on."
Penelope decided it wasn't her secret to tell that JJ had seen it all. But hearing it come from Aaron she realized just how terrible and truly helpless the powerful and protective JJ must have felt.
She couldn't think about this anymore, needing to give herself a break so that when JJ calls she would be emotionally ready. She had a big responsibility on her shoulders when it came to being her person. "So, how did it go with Reid?"
Hotch took that as his cue to continue driving. "Good. I had to talk him out of buying the entire store for Henry. The kid only mentions he likes trains and there Reid is ready to buy a set far too large for practicality."
"Oh, that's sweet though. He's really trying isn't he?"
Hotch nodded. "He is. And succeeding in lots of ways too. When he found out Henry was his he called up a financial planner, got a college fund started while JJ was still in the hospital. And last night when Henry felt rejected by his mother Reid called Emily to stay with JJ while he took Henry for ice cream. He explained that his mother had a hard time with a case and wouldn't be her happy self for a while."
"I feel so bad for Henry. So much to go through with changing dads and his mom not there."
Hotch nodded. "Yes, but Reid has been there his whole life anyhow. And kids are more resilient than you would think. I was a mess after Haley and all but Jack managed to get through it."
"Does that still hurt? Everything with Haley?" she knew they sort of talked about this before, but she still wondered.
He took a deep breath, trying to figure out how to explain this. "It hurts in that I lost someone who played a big role in my life. I did still love her after our divorce but not in the same way. It was, I don't know… a shadow of something and we shared a child. I mourn her as a friend, not a lover. But what really hurts about that whole thing is the fear I have of my job getting in the way again, or how I felt when I thought history would repeat itself, when you—" he stopped when her fingers on his lips silenced him.
"I'm not going anywhere." She assured him. She wasn't, simple as that.
He parked at her place, silent until they got inside her apartment where he pulled her into a desperate hug. "You deserve more than me."
"What are you talking about?" Really, where did that come from?
"I'm not good at emotion. I hide from everything. I am a workaholic, I have so many scars both physical and psychological, and a son… you deserve someone you can build with not someone you have to rebuild."
She swatted at his arms and pulled his gaze to her eyes. "Look at me." She demanded until he complied. "You are good at emotion with me or else you wouldn't have said any of that. You are a workaholic, but so am I, a little less so but I understand how important your job is. You save people. I have scars too and I love Jack beyond anything. So don't you dare think this is unfair to me. What's unfair is you not letting me in. Got it?"
He nodded, unbelieving that someone could see him as valuable in any way. But she did. Maybe she loved him as he loved her. "You really are incredible."
She smiled, never so happy before that she was with this man who loved her just for her. "I don't know about you but I'm exhausted."
"Same here. I can't even think of eating."
She nodded and pulled him to the sofa, turning on a random game show and snuggling up to him.
A while later she woke with him poking her. "Ow. What?"
"You were mumbling. I was hoping you weren't having a bad dream."
She laughed. "Actually I was having a dream about you talking in your sleep."
He returned the laugh, tucking her back into the crook of his arm, enjoying the feel of her nuzzle back up to him.
That dream had brought up a question she had this morning but was obviously distracted from asking. "Why didn't you talk in your sleep last night?"
He was half asleep already. "I don't know. You I guess. Isn't that why you haven't been writing in your journal?" He hadn't seen it make an appearance since the second night in Dallas.
She paused. "What do you mean?"
He knew once he said it that his babbling was going to get him in trouble. "Well I mean, we had sex. So, you know—your journal." Oh, lord. Why did he say that?
"You did read it you fucking bastard!" She felt so betrayed, more because he lied to her than anything else. He doubly betrayed her in that.
He was fully awake now as she flew away from him her back turned away. He put a hand on her shoulder and recoiled when she hissed back at him. "I'm sorry. I never meant to. But once I started I couldn't stop. I never had any inkling that you felt anything for me before that and when I found you did, it just made so much sense and—" he was babbling again, terrified at the looks she was giving him. Worse than anything right now, was that she looked so hurt and he put that on her face.
"You regret it then?" her voice momentarily softened, wanting to forgive him but unsure if she could right now. She was so tender from this whole week and being betrayed right now just couldn't sit.
His tone was begging her to forgive him. "Reading it. Yes. No. I regret that I hurt you but not that it pushed me to where we are now."
And they got there falsely, in her opinion. Here she thought their 'first date' had been some anomaly but really it was just a reaction to the dirty thoughts he read in her most secret journal. Her dreams were hers, not his to read and acquire and use for his will. She couldn't even face him right now she was so angry.
Calmly but to the point she looked back away from him and pointed to the door.
"Get out."