Dear helpful anon reviewer - Appreciated. TRULY. Truly. Just a little frustrating as I had answers to the vast majority of your points. :) But thank you. I do appreciate where you're coming from.
Edward supposed he must have been about four or five in his memory, because the space underneath his father's desk seemed very large - a fitting fort as he played with his toy soldiers, imagining he was leading armies in the space underneath each leg.
He heard a rich chuckle, and grinned up as his father pulled out his chair. Carlisle's grin seemed serene, and little Edward giggled as he was hoisted up on his father's lap. "Good morning, son. What mischief are you up to today?"
"None, Papa," Edward answered sincerely. "I am a good boy today."
"Just today?" Carlisle asked, ruffling his hair fondly.
Edward shrugged, knowing full well he oft got into trouble, though he tried to mind his mother and his nanny.
He was quickly distracted by the items he spied on his father's desk, and began to pick things up, seeing how he could play with them. He was especially pleased with a magnifying glass, which he held up to his father's face, giggling delightedly when Carlisle's features were grossly magnified.
Carlisle was, as always, patient, indulging the endless line of questions children often had. He identified at least six objects on the desk, gently correcting Edward when he guessed the wrong use for whatever he'd picked up.
"Papa, when I am big like you, will I be a doctor?" Edward asked, examining the little hammer Carlisle had showed him that could make his leg kick out.
"If that's what you wish. You may do whatever pleases you, Edward. As long as you do something with your life, you will make your father proud," he said sincerely.
"Hmmmm." Edward held a finger to his lips as if deep in thought. "I want to play my plan-o," he declared decisively.
Carlisle smiled. "I hear there that the conservatory in London is the finest school for brilliant musicians. I shall send you there some day, if you please." He looked a little sad for a moment, and drew the pads of his fingers down Edward's face. "Though, my son, I rather hope you have a mind to stay much closer than London."
~0~
It was difficult not to think of this space as his father's study. He almost felt like he was intruding as he pulled the fine leather chair out and prepared to sit.
A tiny, startled gasp gave Edward a better sense of time and place, and he stooped slightly, smiling when he found Peter below the desk. Smiling at the boy, he picked him up, settling him on the clean edge of the desk.
"Hello, young man. What mischief are you up to today?" he asked quietly, echoing his father's words from nearly two decades before.
Peter crinkled his nose, not quite understanding the question. He proffered Edward a moist cracker, which Edward politely declined. "There will be crumbs under the desk, I suppose, hmm?" he asked, tickling the boy's side lightly. "Well, if we are invaded by ants, we know who to blame, don't we?"
"Peter! There you are."
Edward looked up, smiling as Bella came in the study, looking a little harried.
She smiled at him apologetically. "I'm sorry. One minute he was playing with his train set, the next minute he'd disappeared." She put her hands on her hips, looking at Peter sternly. "Petey, you gave me a fright, running off like that."
Peter smiled winningly at her and tried his luck with the cracker again. Bella shook her head. "No, thank you." She turned back to Edward. "I'll get him out of your way."
"He's not in the way. In fact, if you'd like to join us, that would suit me just fine," he said gently, offering a hand to his wife.
She wrapped his fingers with hers and came to stand at his side, looking curiously at the ledgers that sat on the desk. Winding an arm around her waist, Edward rested his head on her side, breathing in the warm, clean scent she exuded. With her free hand, she petted his hair tenderly.
"I miss my father," he admitted against the fine silk of her dress.
"I'm sorry," she murmured. "I miss my father, too. However, being downstairs with your mother and sister just now, I thought it was strange. My father, the only family I've ever known, is gone, but I seem to have gained what I never had before: a mother and sister."
He looked up at her, smiling genuinely. "I'm glad they haven't scared you away."
Her cheek twitched, and she rolled her eyes slightly. "Yes, well, they're trying. I was never very patient with embroidery work, so mine is very sloppy compared to theirs. I declare, if your mother undoes my stitches one more time..."
Edward chuckled, thinking he wouldn't have the slightest bit of patience for that kind of exacting work.
Peter interrupted their little moment, tugging on Bella's sleeve and looking at her with needy eyes as he squirmed. Quickly, Bella set the boy on the floor, taking his hand to go with him to the toilet.
"Bella," Edward caught her attention before she left. "Have you thought any more about what I said about a nanny?"
She gave him a wry look. "Edward, you choose the oddest moments to have these conversations," she said, looking down at the wriggling child.
"I would like to take a walk with you when you get back," he said. "If it pleases you. Ask Alice to watch Peter, please."
She nodded and walked away for the moment, leaving Edward to his ledgers.
With her bright presence gone, sadness again began to tug at Edward's heart. Rather than going over his holdings and investments, as he'd originally intended, he found himself tracing his finger over his father's neat script, remembering how often he'd found Carlisle bent over his desk, studying figures.
Edward had not accomplished more than staring off into space before Bella came back. Her hair, he noticed, had been braided and coiled, and she wore a wide, very pretty hat that matched her fine dress.
It seemed Alice and Esme's tutelage had not gone unheeded.
He offered her his arm, and she took it, falling into step beside him as they walked down the stairs and out the front door.
Edward didn't speak at first, but took in the cobblestone streets, the people walking or riding to and fro, and the wagons hurrying past - the bustle that was his home.
"Something is troubling you," Bella guessed as they walked. "It's not because I have not wanted to hire a nanny for Peter is it, because-"
"No," he interjected. "It's not that. You may see to Peter as you wish, though I will probably hire a tutor for him sooner rather than later. Perhaps just after his birthday. It's never too early," he mused.
"I agree," Bella said amiably. "Now, tell me what's weighing so heavily on you."
They walked on a moment while Edward searched for his words. "I have been as of yet undecided about how to make my living. By now, Bella, you've seen that we come from old money. I have no need to work, but can make investments as I please."
"But that does not satisfy you," Bella filled in.
"No. My father was a very dedicated doctor in this community. My brother graduated recently from Harvard with a law degree. Yet here I am. Of course, the war interrupted my schooling at West Point, and certainly, I have no interest in being a career soldier," he said. Unlike the South, Northern soldiers were sent to war for certain periods of time. Edward had reenlisted when his first tour was over. He'd given enough to that life. "Even if I had a mind to do it, I could not. West Point will not accept married men."
"You could choose to study elsewhere," she pointed out.
"I could," he hedged. "However, that seems unbecoming. It feels wrong, now that I find myself a married man, to return to my studies."
Bella's face was impassive as she thought about this. "Well, a man of your means has many choices, Edward. There's no reason you couldn't return to your schooling, if that's what you wished. And if you had it in mind to do something else, there are many doors open to you, degree or none."
They stopped for a moment to exchange niceties with their neighbors, Conner and Samantha Wells, both of whom expressed their excitement for the upcoming party Alice was hosting.
Edward noticed with amusement that Bella had almost managed to hide her grimace by that point.
"I know you have not yet taken callers, these last two weeks we've been home," Edward began again when they were safely away. "You have not yet had the time to be exposed to what people may say. I know my mother has already told you that people will naturally gossip; you're a fresh face. However, you will find that this society has plenty to say about the rest of us as well.
"It is well known that the Cullens are a peculiar family." He rolled his eyes for her benefit. "We have proclivities it seems, and hold some unpopular ideals. You know we employ Seth and his sister, Leah, for instance. That caused quite a stir."
"Well, I can't see why it should bother me," Bella said fervently. "They do fine work, that I've seen. Seth especially is very attentive."
"That's how we feel," Edward said with a nod. "What I'm saying is that not everyone in our circles agrees."
"What does this have to do with our previous topic of conversation?" Bella asked.
Edward hesitated. "I'm not sure yet. I have many ideas in my head and I've yet to settle on one I like."
Slipping his hand into hers, Edward tugged her over the hill at an open space. They walked for a few minutes before they came to a willow tree whose leaves drooped down to the ground. He lifted them aside, and Bella's eyes went wide as she looked around her. "This place is very pretty," she said on a breath.
Edward chuckled, pleased that she was pleased. "Emmett and I found it many years ago. We spent many afternoons playing here. It's not so far from the street and yet..."
"It's like another world," she laughed.
"Yes. Look. These branches make a perfect seat. Emmett used to pretend he was a king."
Edward bowed grandly at her. "Your majesty? Your throne awaits."
She chuckled but indulged him, letting him help her so she was sitting up on a wide, sturdy branch. He climbed up, a little more boyish than was prudent, beside her.
"I half thought this place was just something my mind made up," he said quietly. "It seems like I was last here lifetime ago."
He was silent for another minute before he gathered his thoughts, continuing their conversation from before. "History has already begun to paint a different vision of the war. They say we fought this war to free the slaves, but that isn't true. I was there. The war I fought was to preserve the Union. In truth, freeing the slaves was almost incidental, and now the Northern states want as little to do with the freed Negroes as the Southern, maybe even less so."
Again he paused, staring out at the green land and sighing. "The genteel society speaks of the 'colored problem' and they are quick to point fingers elsewhere. Shantytowns are popping up in every major city, and some find it distasteful. Just yesterday, when I was visiting a few properties I own, I heard people discussing it, wishing these freedmen would just go away, but they neglect to realize, there is no where for them to go. They are disgusted that these people don't get jobs, and yet they will not hire them."
He raised a hand to his mouth, tapping his fingers against his chin in frustration. "And that is just the beginning. That's not to speak of the young, widowed women being turned to the street as they have no husbands to support them, or think of all that happened to you and Jasper. I am not unaware that the Southern states are being slowly crushed to death. Just as families were torn apart when the war began, so will they be shifted again as we rebuild the country."
Her gloved hand against his cheek stopped his tirade, and he turned his head to look at her. "There are a great many problems in our world," she said slowly. "You aren't proposing that you should solve them all on your own, are you?"
"No," he said softly. "Honestly, I am just speaking out loud. I did want your input. I don't give a damn what people say of my actions, but it is not only my life." Wrapping his arm around her, he tilted her chin up, studying her intently. "What would you say, love, if there was talk about town about your husband?"
"If you are doing what you think is right, I would say only that I am a proud wife, and I will stand by you no matter what," she answered quietly.
Smiling, Edward tilted her head up, kissing her with sweet, soft kisses. He let one hand drift down to splay over her flat stomach. "And our children? Perhaps I will buy a newspaper, print the real truth, and live with the consequences." He smiled at her. "And perhaps our little girl will come crying because she will not be invited to some Senator's son's birthday."
Bella looked bemused. "You want a little girl?"
He tilted his head, sliding down from his perch so he could better serve his aim. He thought idly that he didn't care for this latest trend of silly hats; they made it more difficult to manuever around when he wanted to kiss her. "Yes. Several, in fact."
She sighed, leaning in to his kisses. "Don't most men want a healthy son?"
"Well, of course," Edward murmured, kissing her chin and her cheeks. "I will take a few of those as well."
Laughing, Bella brought her hands to his chin, cradling his face and looking on him adoringly. "You want me to give you, what is that, six children? Seven?" she asked, her tone slightly incredulous.
"Well," he smiled sheepishly, wrapping his arms about her waist and lowering her carefully to the ground. "Let us just start with one, hmm?" he said huskily, brushing his body against hers, trapping her against the branch with a hand on either side of her body.
Her eyes widened, but she tilted her head up eagerly when he leaned in for another, much more thorough kiss. "Do you mean to try here, in public?" she sounded more amused than anything.
Bringing his hands up, he cupped her breast through the fabric of her dress, delighting in her little gasp and the way she bit her lip. "Would you deny me?" he asked, his voice a rumble near her ear.
"No," she whispered, her hands on his chest as she caressed the side of cheek, searching until she found his lips.
Weeks ago, if anyone had told him he would be pressing a woman up against a tree branch, his hands roaming her body, he would have begged their pardon, insulted by the very idea.
Bella, he'd quickly discovered, brought out a very primal side of him. Perhaps he would have been mortified but, well... she didn't seem to mind it.
They were both learning how to be lovers, learning how to touch each other, and most of all, learning together that marital relations didn't need to be as serious as a business transaction, regardless of what the church and society at large would have them believe.
Yes, he was a lucky man.
"Come, my dear," he said, reluctantly stepping away from her and taking her hand. "Let us get back to the house, and the comfort of our room." He chuckled, straightening her hat. "Alice has sharp eyes. She will surely notice if we sully your dress with sap."
~0~
Their intimate rendezvous was not to be, however, as when they got back to the house, Alice was nearly bouncing with excitement.
"Oh, this is just perfect! Edward," she cried, bounding over to him. "We received a telegram from Emmett. He shall be here just three days before the party!"
That was how Edward ended up answering questions about his brother and Rosalie when he finally got Bella to their room.
"Emmett was very effected by what happened to Rosalie," Edward explained, sitting on the edge of their bed "To be honest, it was difficult to be around Rosalie. She was either very silent or very angry." He bowed his head. "I'm rather ashamed to admit, I had very little patience for her."
"You were twelve," she said firmly, coming to sit beside him.
He smiled, running his hand through her long hair. She was always beautiful, but with her hair undone, just for him, she seemed ephemerally so. Edward was momentarily distracted until she arched an eyebrow at him.
Clearing his throat, Edward continued. "My brother had never been very patient to that point, but with Rosalie, he was different. He would go into a room where she was sitting and sit near her without speaking for hours on end. He did this for a couple of weeks, and she started talking to him."
Bella nodded. "I understand the tactic. Jasper was the same way with animals. I once found a very scared kitten under the porch. She would not come out. Jasper told me she would be fine and just sat in the grass for hours and hours until the little thing came and curled up in his lap."
"Yes," Edward agreed. "It was much the same with Rosalie. She was very skittish, but Emmett seemed to make her feel safe. They forged quite a bond."
He rubbed the back of his neck, releasing a slow breath of frustration, remembering. "Well, we tried to make things better for her here, but after what her fiance and his friends did... the gossip about town was scathing."
"How horrible," Bella murmured.
"Yes," Edward nodded. "Even Mother took no small amount of criticism for 'condoning' Rosalie's actions." He shook his head, obviously a touch furious.
"Eventually, Rosalie chose to stay with an aunt in Rochester, New York. Emmett accompanied her on the trip and found reasons to stay close by." He grinned. "I think it's why he chose to go to Harvard, which is a relatively close train ride away.
"They continued to see each other frequently. When Emmett was injured, Rosalie raced to his bedside and refused to leave until he was able to walk out of that hospital under his own power," he smiled fondly. He'd been glad that his brother had someone by his side through that time.
Bella chuckled, and Edward looked up, amused at her amusement. "What is it?"
"I was thinking about what you said earlier, about your family. Especially you Cullen men, marrying women without thought of consequence," she said gently.
Smiling, he pivoted toward her, reaching out to put his arms about her. "Consequence, my dear? What is the consequence of marrying you? Hmm?"
"Don't think I don't understand, Edward, that when you say people will gossip about me, they will also talk of your plight. 'How did that Southern witch trap the handsome Mr. Cullen?'" she imitated Tanya's accent - the light and airy way aristocratic women spoke, with just a touch of the Russian hardness - remarkably well.
Leaning in, Edward pressed forward until Bella was laying back on the bed, pinned beneath his body. He rolled to the side, taking her with him as he began to kiss her soft and slow, but possessively. "Well, there may be something to that theory," he murmured, pulling down the edge of her gown to kiss her shoulder. "You're a witch? Perhaps that explains why you have me so completely under your spell."
Whatever Bella was about to say was cut off as she gave a small whimper. Edward made a mental note to touch the spot he'd found - right along the edge of her collarbone - as often as possible... perhaps with his tongue next time.
Before he let the headiness of the atmosphere get away with him, Edward lifted his eyes, cupping her face in his hands. "Isabella, if I haven't told you often enough, you are an amazing woman. You are unfailingly good - so much better than I can ever hope to be. You are strong." He stroked the back of his hand down one cheek. "And you are so beautiful."
He kissed her again seriously, lingering so she could feel in his actions that he meant every word he said. Only when they were both breathless did he pull back, again taking her face in his hands. "I should have told you before. I love you."
Her eyes, in the lamplight, seemed to dance with happiness, and she put her hands over his. "I love you, too, Edward," she whispered, and tilted her head to kiss him again.
It was incredible how her simple words made his heart soar. He felt elated, all heavier thoughts that had taken him during the day falling away.
Pushing Bella gently back, Edward kissed her tenderly, adoringly, even as his hands slid down her body, finding the hem of her gown. Eager to be joined with her after their time in the park, he did not bother to undress either of them, but only hiked her gown up enough, and his pants down enough, to fulfill his purpose.
Afterward, though, they both wiggled out of the remainder of their clothes, both preferring the intimacy of being skin to skin.
A/N: Thank you to barburella and twitina!
My regular beta, jadedandboring, will be here tomorrow, and then I'm going to Yosemite shortly after she leaves, so updating might be slightly more sporadic for the next two weeks. I love you, and your response to this story is phenomenal.