Warnings: Contains domestic abuse, violence and possibly triggering materials
Beta'd by ibonekoen. One of the best friend's a girl could have, and an excellent editor. You are an amazing person.
Merlin opened his eyes sluggishly, one nearly swollen shut, pain careening into him mere moments later. It forced a gasp from his lips and he cringed.
"Oh god," he choked out and just barely managed to sit up, almost vomiting at the feeling of his ribs grinding slightly and knew most likely that a few of them were broken. He froze suddenly a moment later as realization dawned, he couldn't afford to get caught by Valiant.
Head tilted to the side Merlin ignored the blood which slid down his face nearly into his eye as he focused on trying to hear if Valiant was still in the apartment.
When he heard nothing, not even the telltale sound of Valiant snoring he opened his eyes once again and struggled to his feet, a cry of pure agonized pain escaping him as he slammed ribs first into the counter after having stumbled.
Merlin sobbed softly as he got a look at his reflection in the side of the toaster, feeling truly pitiful. "Fuck," he muttered. The reflection was blurred but he could see enough of himself to know it was terrible, what he looked like and recalled Valiant's panicked words just moments before he'd lost consciousness.
He'd almost killed him. His boyfriend had almost killed him. His boyfriend thoughthe'd killed him. He intended to keep it that way.
It was a moment of brief triumph and he grinned as much as was possible for someone in so much pain.
Merlin stumbled for the door, almost tripping over his own feet in the process. He gasped for air and didn't stop moving until he was at the Tube station and looked at the sign.
Two stops and he would be at Arthur's. Five for Gwen. More for Gwaine.
He swiped his card and stepped through the turnstile; once down the steps, he tumbled into the train and into a seat, pulling his hood up. He curled in on himself for protection and hoped no one would talk to him.
It was hard to stay conscious, his vision blurring in and out occasionally. Luckily for him, people in London didn't seem to want to check on bloodied strangers.
He stayed there, listening to the conductor's voice, and blinked sluggishly, willing himself to stay awake even though all he wanted to do was sleep. He knew logically he had a concussion, but all he heard was someone's voice calling him into darkness.
When the second stop was announced, Merlin managed to stand with the aid of the pole and made his way out the doors, stumbling again up the steps. He leaned against the wall of a pub once he was out in the fresh air and breathed in deeply, cringing at the feeling of pain in his side.
"You can do this," he encouraged himself before taking one step and then another in the direction of Arthur's apartment, not even sure what time it was. "You can survive."
Arthur bolted upright, registering the buzzing sound which accompanied someone wanting into his flat. He shifted and lay back down, figuring it was some drunk prat or something. When it didn't stop five minutes later, sounding almost as though someone was leaning on it, he got up and let whoever it was in.
"2 bloody am," he muttered, standing in his kitchen. He waited for whoever it was to knock, figuring that it was drunken Gwaine or Morgana in one of her bitch-fests.
Either way, he was angry as hell and wasn't going to let whoever it was go by without being griped at, possibly shouted at.
It was bloody rude to show up at someone's door at 2 am after all, especially someone such as him who worked to all hours in the morning at times before making his way sluggishly home in order to sleep.
When the knock finally came, a good five or so minutes later, Arthur had worked himself into a good bit of anger and ripped open the door. Any words that might have spilled forth freezing on his tongue as he caught sight of Merlin.
Merlin, standing there, with what looked like blood on his gray hoodie, head bowed and holding himself. His left hand grasped his right side as though he was holding himself together, fingers twisted in the fabric while his right hand clutched his left shoulder.
"Merlin," Arthur's voice emerged from his throat, hoarse as though he'd not spoken in a week.
Merlin raised his head and Arthur's stomach rolled at the sight of Merlin's nose, crooked and bloody, and his right eye, swollen shut as though he'd been beaten severely.
He had been beaten severely.
"I'm sorry," Merlin choked out a moment later, and as Arthur watched a pristine tear trickle from Merlin's undamaged left eye, anger and sadness swelled in him.
"Don't be sorry, Merlin," he said, before he reached out cautiously and grasped Merlin's elbow, tugging him inside and closing and locking the door. "Who?"
Merlin looked into his eyes, and Arthur resisted the urge to gasp at the depth of sadness there. "Who do you think?"
Arthur didn't even say the name, both of them knowing. He felt a fool for not having listened to Gwen more seriously, the thought of how much pain he could have saved his friend causing guilt to gnaw at him. "We need to get you help, a doctor or the hospital."
Merlin turned and clutched at Arthur's wrist with a desperate look on his face. "He will find me at a hospital, he knows my doctor. Arthur, you can't," he begged.
"Okay," Arthur tried to be soothing, hoped he could be soothing. "It'll be fine, you will be okay. I will figure something out, just come and sit down, okay?" He tried to guide Merlin into the living room and breathed a sigh of relief when his friend went willingly.
Once he got Merlin sitting down, he knelt in front of him just briefly, studying him. "We should...wash you up a bit, I think," Arthur said, wishing he'd paid attention in classes when they'd gone over basic first aid.
Merlin nodded his head but didn't seem willing to talk.
"I'll be right back, just...don't leave, okay?" Arthur said in a firm but gentle tone of voice. He straightened and left the room, finding some clean dish towels courtesy of his housekeeper in the linen closet and a bowl which he filled with lukewarm water before returning.
Merlin looked up at him, such hope in his eyes. Arthur almost dropped the bowl, never having had anyone look at him like that before in his life. He knelt back in front of him, pulling scissors out of his pocket.
"Now, I was thinking, we should get you out of that sweater, but I don't want to hurt you," Arthur began, his voice sounding strange to his own ears.
"You wanna cut it off?" Merlin choked out. Arthur had bought him that hoodie. It was his favourite.
Arthur nodded his head slowly. "I'll buy you a new one," he promised, tugging the hoodie very gently away from Merlin's abdomen. "Don't move, okay?" he instructed as he lifted the scissors.
Merlin nodded, indicating his understanding.
Arthur began cutting the hoodie, careful not to hurt Merlin in any way, even tugging at the fabric lightly. He breathed a sigh of relief when it was cut from bottom to neck and very gingerly removed it.
"Well, that's done," Arthur said in his normal tone of voice, "now can I wash you up a bit?"
"You don't have to," Merlin replied, hand shaking as he reached for the washcloth himself.
"I know, I mean I do," Arthur stammered. "You're my friend," I love you, you're hurt, "I want to help you." I need to, I feel guilty, it's my fault you're hurt.
Merlin looked into his eyes for just a moment, but long enough to make Arthur nervous as he seemed to be searching for something before he nodded.
Arthur picked up the wash cloth and wrung it out before he gently began cleaning Merlin's lips and chin, careful to not hit his nose in any manner as he was certain it was broken. When Merlin flinched away from him, his heart jumped into his throat just a bit but he didn't say a word until Merlin's face was fully clean.
"Your nose is broken," he told Merlin as he nibbled on his bottom lip nervously.
"I know," Merlin replied and shrugged with one shoulder. "I think one of my ribs is too."
"Christ." Arthur dropped his head into his hands for a moment, rubbing them over his face. "I could kill him."
"No." Merlin squeezed his shoulder, his grip surprisingly firm. "He's not worth it." The words seemed to surprise even him.
"You're right," Arthur mustered a smile. "We need to call someone...someone who knows more than I do..."
Merlin sighed, "Gaius?"
"Would he be awake?" Arthur asked before he realized how stupid that sounded and nodded. "Right, Gaius, I will call him, do you want to change?"
Merlin nodded then flushed, even beneath the bruises muddled along his face. "Would you help me? Standing is...well...hard."
Arthur nodded, "absolutely. Be glad to help." He offered Merlin a hand up and led him into the bedroom. In normal circumstances, this would be an embarrassing situation for him, given his attraction to Merlin, but right now all he cared about was getting Merlin taken care of and exacting his revenge.
He helped Merlin with his T-shirt first, glad he didn't have to cut that off and cringed at the bruising along his friend's side before he allowed Merlin to hold his shoulders, working him out of his jeans and then helped him sit.
"I'll get you a T-shirt and pajama pants," he told him before disappearing into his closet and emerged minutes later to help Merlin into the T-shirt and PJ pants carefully. "Do you want to lie down until Gaius gets here?"
Merlin nodded and made to get up.
"Oh no, don't move," Arthur stalled him with a gentle hand to his shoulder. "You can lie down here," he told him.
"Oh, but this is your bed," Merlin commented softly and Arthur wished to hear his friend's former vitriol, the sarcasm and temperament that had made Arthur fall in love with him in the first place.
"Yes, I'm aware. I also know the guest bed is much less comfortable," Arthur told him as he pulled back the covers and helped Merlin ease down into the bed. "I will just call Gaius, and then come sit with you. You can't sleep okay?"
"I heard that was a myth," Merlin commented, looking up at him with such need that Arthur felt like crawling into bed and holding him but resisted.
"I don't care, just don't sleep," Arthur said before he left the room.
Merlin closed his eyes for a moment then opened them, not wanting to worry Arthur more than he already had. He couldn't deny he felt safe though.