Author's Note: Thank you for the reads and reviews. All much obliged and not expected. Apologies for the unusual delay in updating. Busy weekend, combined with a bit of a writer's block on this story and total inspiration on others!
TWDTWDTWD
"Fuck! Don't be fuckin' creepin' up on us like that, ya almost had an arrow in the fuckin' eye." Daryl spat out, lowering his weapon.
The target chuckled lightly, lowering his own rifle and reached out to pat Daryl on the back.
"What the hell are you doin' here, T-Dog?" He asked, shifting from foot to foot. Relief washed over him when he recognised the man, because with T-Dog was surely the rest of them.
"Waitin' on you!" T-Dog told him. "Been here hours man, beginning to wonder if you'd changed routes."
"Why didn't you go to Sheldon?" Glenn asked as they walked back towards the cars.
"Fuck, let's get to the important shit first, you secured the area? Where's Rick?" Daryl interrupted, wrenching the truck door open.
"Lori and Carl are inside, building's cleared and Rick's just around the back in the car, looking at the maps, we can't stay here tonight man, it's way too open." Daryl agreed, the gas station was on the brow of a hill, no greenery in sight and now he had a chance to look, plenty of Walker remains lay scattered about. Aullville had spoiled them, having been cleared out already.
"Let's get inside an' then we can get to the chit chat." He gestured for Carol to step down out of the truck, she clambered out, pulling her handbag over her head before pulling Katie out.
"Get the kids inside before they start squallin'." He told her and she nodded, coming around the front of the truck to pull the baby seat from the passenger side. T-Dog let out a gasp as he saw what was attached to Carol's hip, visibly gobsmacked.
"Where the hell did they come from?" He asked as the others moved out of Glenn's car.
Carol collared Beth as the girl skipped past her to follow her sister, wordlessly handing her the carrier containing Joe, so she could take the baby bag. Daryl hovered nearby, crossbow still in hand. She knew better than to ask him to do it though, the children seemed to physically repulse him and she did not miss the way he looked at Katie in truck, as if she were going to bite him if he got too close. Besides, he had the crossbow and they were out in the open, Walkers could spring out at any moment.
Carol sighed and gave T-Dog a weary smile. She was so happy to see him. "I'll explain later."
There was cries of joy when the group were reunited once again, mostly on Carol and Lori's part. The arrival of Katie and Joe were clearly the biggest shock of the day, so Carol tediously explained the whole sorry story again, trying to keep her words from being understood by the little girl hovering around her legs, looking up at them all with wide eyes.
"I know they're going to be hard work, Lori. I made the decision to bring them with us, and I know that means I have to carry the consequences of that." Carol was almost begging for forgiveness to her friend and Daryl wondered why, when as a mother, Lori would understand better than anyone when it came to the children. "I just..."
"There wasn't even another way it would go, Carol." Rick interrupted her from her apology with a squeeze of her shoulder. "It'll be fine. Once we get to the state park, it's going to be fine."
"Not that we aren't glad to see you all, but I think the question on everyone's mind is, why are you here? What happened?" Hershel spoke for them all, looking too Rick, but it was Lori who spoke.
"I changed my mind. It was a stupid idea." She said softly, gathering up the last of their things to put back into the car. "This group...we shouldn't split up. We have to stick together." She gave a firm nod of her head and Carol beamed at her. "And it was clearly the right decision." She gestured towards Katie, clutching the knee of Carol's jeans.
"Hate to break up the party, but let's get the hell outta here 'cause there ain't much daylight left." Daryl lead the way out of the gas station, taking Carol's bag from her. The gesture did not go unnoticed by her and he avoided the quirk of her eyebrow, silently questioning him. Daryl was many things, but gentlemanly gestures like taking her bag were not common, not without good reason.
Daryl made the gesture deliberately, because he could see that everyone else had their hands full and he did not want to be the one to have to carry the baby, even if it was in a seat. Knowing his luck, the thing would start screaming the moment he picked it up, drawing every Walker for miles. Or he'd drop it and Carol would never forgive him.
He felt bad for a moment as he turned away from her, ignoring her perform the juggling act of holding the carrier and the toddler, but she managed to do it, following him to the truck.
There was nowhere suitable for them to house in properly for the night, not if they wanted to get settled before dark, so it was to be another night spent in the cars, a few miles from the gas station they met up at. Food was dished out, mostly things eaten cold from the can and Carol had to coax Katie into eating cold spaghetti hoops. Clearly the little girl was used to hot meals back at Camp Sheldon, if indeed, that's where they came from.
Lori had taken over the feeding of Joe whilst they ate, for which Carol was grateful. Keeping the two of them quiet at the camp was a difficult task. Katie had calmed down some but now she had found her voice a little, she persistantly questioned Carol about the whereabouts of her Mama and Dada and it broke Carol's heart everytime she had to answer her.
Daryl did not sleep in the truck that first night. He hadn't said anything to suggest if he would or wouldn't but he was on watch when Carol fell asleep in the back of the cab with both the children. Joe woke her a few hours later and she was glad she had remembered to prepare bottles for him ready, recalling the days when Sophia used to wake her every three hours, on the dot.
When she finally settled him back down, she realised that Daryl wasn't there. She managed to extricate herself from the tiny nook where the children slept, crawling over the top of the bench to get out the door. She could see Glenn on watch a few yards away and he gave her a nod when he heard her open the truck door. She found him in the truck bed and he was awake when she clambered up, using the wheel to give her a boost.
"You must be freezing." She whispered by way of greeting and he just gave a grunt that didn't really indicate whether he was or wasn't cold.
She sat herself beside him, drawing her knees up to her chest. "Come in the truck."
"Nah, 's crowded in there." He told her, shifting his arms under his head to make himself a little more comfortable.
Carol sighed, getting up and returning to the truck, picking up the extra sleeping bag from the floor. He was sitting up when she returned and she tossed it over the side. "Night."
It was tempting to freeze her butt off and sleep in the truck bed with him. She wanted to be near him. But it was clear he needed the space on this night and she needed to be close to the children anyway. She had to ward off their cries as soon as they left their mouths, lest Walkers be swarming on them before they knew it. So instead she clambered back into the little space in the back of the truck cab with a sigh.
TWDTWDTWD
His distance that night seemed to set the tone for the next few days. It was the most tiring time Carol had experienced, being on the road with two small children. When the days were dry, he road the bike, letting one of the women ride in the truck with Carol instead. He initially claimed that it was so he could scout on ahead, look for somewhere safe to hole up so they could gather more supplies, things they hadn't thought they had needed until Katie and Joe arrived. Eventually he stopped even using the excuse and she just sighed everytime he kicked up the engine and drove off ahead of her.
On the days it rained, he reluctantly took his place behind the wheel of the truck and Carol could feel the resentment radiating from him with every mile they drove. He barely took his eyes from the road and had very little to say to her, no matter how hard she tried for conversation. Katie was becoming more talkative with every passing day, although, understandably she was still prone to fits of tears when she remembered her mother and father were not coming for her. But in between jags of crying, she sat between her brother and Carol chatting away happily. She seemed to not notice that Daryl never once acknowledged her, even as she jabbered away to him, talking about this and that, never worrying that she didn't have any answers from him.
She missed him. It sounded stupid, even in her own head, but it was true. They had been in close to proximity to each other for weeks and she missed it. She missed the sex. Such a trivial reason and it made her feel like she was being completely unreasonable, but they hadn't had sex since the day before they found the children and she needed it now. She had gone so long in life hating it and he had changed that and now she couldn't be without it. She wondered if they would ever have sex again, seeing as he now saw the children that clung to her hips as the ultimate turn off.
The exhaustion was making it worse. She couldn't ever remember it being this difficult with Sophia. But they were relentless in keeping her attention. Joe woke every three hours or so and it sometimes woke Katie too, meaning that by the time they were both settled, it was almost time again for the next feed. She was barely surviving on four hours sleep a night. During the day it was feeds and changes, constantly trying to figure out the unique language of a toddler and trying to keep them amused in the truck with no toys. She had to cut every cry at the quick and she knew it was no good for them in the long run. They were quickly realising they only had to squawk once for her to come running to give them what they wanted.
She felt guilty that she resented them already. She resented the others for not helping her enough. Sure, they all did something if she asked, but no-one volunteered, not even Lori anymore. Yes, she was the one who chose to pick them up from the road, but she would never believe that any of them wouldn't have done the same. But then, at the same time, she wanted to do it by herself. To take on a role of her own. She felt guilt that they were cooped up in the truck all day, no chance to run around. Joe was wanting to sit up, she could see, but she was forced to leave him in the baby seat and when they were stopped, she had to stick to carrying him, just incase he ended up face down in dirt. She'd been doing this for just a few days and already she felt like she was doing a terrible job.
They drove her to tears, although she tried to hide them. It was an awful feeling of uselessness and it took her back to darker moments, a place she had thought she was rid of and it only made her feel even worse. She was weak. She was unable to even do a job she had done before the Walkers.
They finally stopped once they hit Kansas, settling for a house on hill, just a few miles outside a large town. Carol commandeered the large bedroom on the ground floor and found a blow up mattress for Katie. The little girl was passed out on it immediately after dinner, for which Carol was grateful. She sat at the kitchen table with the others, helping construct the list of supplies they desperately needed before they could move on, bouncing Joe on her knee.
"Look, I think I should come with you for this one." She spoke to Glenn and Rick, because if Daryl could spend days ignoring her, she could ignore him too.
"No." Daryl barked out the word before she could even finish her sentence, glowering at her from his spot, sitting on the kitchen counter.
She shot him a look of annoyance. "Look at my list. You boys don't have the faintest clue when it comes to this stuff. I'll be quicker. Some stuff, I won't know I need until I see it." It seemed ridiculous, the piece of paper covered in her scrawled demands. Excessive and not worth the risk, it would seem like to the others.
"If you ain't needed it yet, you ain't gonna." He grumbled at her, strumming his fingers angrily against the marble surface.
"Oh, because you have so much experience with children, right?" Carol snapped out, ceasing her jiggling motion with Joe. They all turned to gape at her, because Carol never lost her temper. She sighed when she realised how she sounded, moving the baby to her breast to try and rock him to sleep. "He's going to be teething soon, it'll be noisy if I don't have the right things. The right formula, proper baby food. And Katie is bored out of her mind and you already know how she doesn't stop talking." She spoke to Daryl now, but he wouldn't look at her.
Rick looked from Carol and Daryl and back again, quickly assessing the pair and Carol knew he was trying to diffuse what could potentially become an argument.
"Let us go first, get what we can." Rick snapped a hand up when she made to respond. "I have had a kid, so I do know what to look for. If we're missing things that you really need, we'll make another run before we leave and you can come. Deal?"
Carol nodded her head once and stood up, never stopping her rocking motion. She bid them goodnight and headed off to the bedroom, without another look at Daryl.
TWDTWDTWD
She didn't expect him to join her that night and after putting Joe back down for his feed a little before midnight, she decided to search for him. She knew he wouldn't be upstairs, because she and Lori had divvied up the bedrooms and he was lumped together with her, before their spat in the kitchen. The only other place he would be able to sleep was the living room and he was sprawled across the couch when she opened the door.
He jolted awake on hearing her open the door, settling back down when he realised it was her.
"Are you going to avoid me forever?" She sat near his feet and he drew them away from her.
"I ain't avoidin' ya." He mumbled, hand resting over his eyes.
"Oh, that so? Why aren't you in the same bed as me then?" She crossed her arms and spoke bluntly, because it was the only manner of speaking which Daryl understood.
"'Cause I don't wanna share with a bunch of kids."
Carol let out a huff and slid closer to him. "Please, don't do this." She reached out for him, sliding a hand across his stomach. She was relieved that he didn't pull away from her, but he didn't really respond either. "I don't think I can cope with them without you."
He pulled his hand away from his eyes at that and Carol took that as an opportunity to slide next to him, pushing herself between him and the back of the couch. He made no attempt at resistance as she made herself comfortable, hooking one leg over his, arms sliding around his waist.
She would've been content to fall asleep there and then, until Joe's cries would be heard in the room across the way, if it wasn't for the hand that snaked up her bare thigh, drawing her leg up higher across his waist. She sighed with contentment, moving to straddle Daryl's waist and pushed his hands to her hips to steady her.
"Do you know it's been a whole week?" She murmured, hands bracing herself either side of his head.
"Don't fuckin' remind me." He breathed, mouth inches from her neck. She ground herself against him slightly and his hips shifted upwards to meet hers. He slid his hands up her shirt, letting them roam higher and higher and she let out a soft moan when he hit his two targets, running his fingers over her breasts, thumbing her nipples into peaks.
She said nothing for a moment, enjoying the wave of pleasure rush into her core as he teased her lightly, responding by pressing her crotch into his and savouring his own sighs, breath pushing out and landing on the exposed skin of her collarbones.
Eventually, she could wait no longer, pushing herself up and grabbing him by the front of his shirt to drag him with her. "Bed, now." She commanded, standing up and taking him firmly by the hands. He let her pull him upright but he clung to her waist before she could lead him out of the room.
"I ain't fuckin' you with them in there. It's weird." He mumbled, lifting her shirt to press his lips to her stomach.
"They won't wake up." She told him, dragging him upwards. "Do you really want someone else walking in on us?"
She took his hand, leading him into the bedroom, finger pressed to her lips in warning. He was hesitant and in the flickering candlelight he could see Katie sprawled over a blow up mattress on the floor, Joe tucked into his carrier in the corner beside her.
She was undressed and laying on the bed before he had even unbuttoned his pants and he stifled a chuckle at her eagerness. She clambered on top of him in seconds, hands clutching at his to steady herself as she circled her hips. He had to pull his hand away to cover her mouth at one point, her breathy moans were on the verge of becoming cries and the last thing he wanted was a baby to break up their fun.
It didn't take her long to come, thighs clenching around his hips, nails scratching at his skin, but he wanted to prolong their coupling, because who knew how long it would be before they could do it again? He clutched her waist, pulling her underneath him, drawing her legs up to give him a new angle to enter her. She keened against his lips and he pushed his tongue into her mouth, forcing her silence as she pulled at his hair and it was enough to make him see stars, coming quickly.
She fell asleep before he could discard the condom, sighing with pleasure, hands fluttering over his skin, pulling him to her without asking for him. She never normally asked for this closeness, but he let her have it, even though he was acutely aware of the children just a few feet away. He resolved to leave the room before they woke in the morning.
He woke groggily and he realised that it was still dark. There was a sharp cry that was quickly followed by Carol shuffling out of the bed. When he finally rubbed his eyes so he could see properly, she was sitting on the edge, still naked and he could hear the contented gurgling and sucking sounds coming from Joe, tiny fingers plucking at the bottle of milk at his mouth, swaddled in a blanket, resting against Carol's chest.
Carol turned and gave Daryl a soft, sleepy smile and before he could stop himself, he returned it, hand reaching out to stroke the small of her back. She looked absolutely beautiful in the golden glow of the flickering candlelight. Her overgrown hair, sticking up at the back in curling tufts, lean shoulders sprinkled with pale freckles and the expression on her face made him want to pull her close there and then.
His eyes flickered closed and when he opened them again, she had her back pressed against his chest, legs wrapped up in his. Her rhythmic breathing told him she was already asleep again. He moved his arm to wrap around his waist when his fingers brushed against something unfamiliar. Lifting his head up, his eyes met with the little one, dark eyes wide and alert, sucking softly on a pacifier. He seemed content enough, although not close to sleeping and Daryl wondered briefly if it were safe for Carol to sleep with him in the bed. He didn't know if were normal behaviour because he hadn't spent a night with her since they arrived.
He wanted to get up and go. Desperately. But he did not want to upset Carol. He wanted to be near her. He settled for reassuring himself once again that he would be gone by morning, before they woke up. He pushed his hand between Carol and Joe, trying to ignore the warmth of the child against his knuckles and the faint motions of the little one as his hands plucked lightly at Daryl's skin as he soothed himself to sleep.