Nationals

'My heartbeat accelerates. I am in the here, in the now. I am also in the future. I am holding her and wanting and knowing and hoping all at once. We are the ones who take this thing called music and line it up with this thing called time. We are the ticking, we are the pulsing, we are underneath every part of this moment. And by making the moment our own, we are rendering it timeless. There is no audience. There are no instruments. There are only bodies and thoughts and murmurs and looks. It's the concert rush to end all concert rushes, because this is what matters. When the heart races, this is what it's racing toward.' from 'Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist.'

Dear Diary,

We are in Chicago for Nationals. Mercedes has food poisoning from a bad burrito. Sue has taken action.

I found Will sitting outside our room, mulling over the repercussions of the possibility of not winning. I said, 'It's a competition, they understand that everybody can't win.'

'But they never get to win, schools almost over for most of them. Can you imagine what it would be like for them to walk the halls just for a couple of days as champions?'

'If you are going to lead them to the promised land you are going to have to have an attitude adjustment. Will they're ready, you've made them ready for three years.'

'What if it wasn't enough?'

I looked at him. I can feel how much he wants this success for them. Before I could say anything in reply Shannon materialized requesting Will's presence.

There was pandemonium downstairs: the boys were fighting and Brittney's blanket and pillow had fallen into the pool. Rachel and Finn wanted to rehearse all night long, the other kids were saying they couldn't do it without Mercedes and Santana was saying she would go all Lima Heights on them if they didn't give it everything they've got. Will told them their rage was a great thing and I had to agree, they want to win. He offered them a 30 min break but Tina said no they'd keep going. Shannon and I looked at each other – they are a team and Will knows exactly how to handle them.

We stayed and watched them rehearse to confirm that they had regained focus then we called it a night. Shannon and Sue went back to Sue's room. Back in our room I said to Will, 'You've done everything you can do, it's up to them now. Winning it is in their hands and the judges hands, let it go.'

'I'm meant to be the one to remind you to let go of control.'

I smiled, 'Last night I dreamt about you, I can't remember the details, all I know is that we kept merging into one another. I was you and you were me. I caressed his face.

We got into bed, I rested my head in the crook of his arm and rested an arm across his chest. Will put his arm around me.

'You know what? I smiled at him.

'What?'

'I don't even care that I'm sleeping in a strange bed with sheets I haven't washed myself.'

''Really?'

I nodded. 'Passion makes us fearless.' I kissed him. 'Good night.'

Dear Diary,

When Will sat down in the seat next to me, I could see he was anxious. Will believed things were not boding well for New Directions. They were performing first which Will called the 'death slot' and Carmen Tipodot hadn't arrived. Mercedes still had a fever, he didn't know if Quinn could withstand the rigors of the dance number. I grabbed his hand and looked into his eyes he calmed down and gave me a quick kiss. I wrapped my arm around his and kept hold of his hand.

The kids performance was flawless. Flawless. Confident and energetic. Vocal Adrenaline may have had better dancers, but their performance was based solely around Unique and their props were cumbersome and distracting.

Will chose songs that showcased Rachel's and Finn's voices and integrated everyone else's voices equally. The songs were vintage, upbeat, theatrical and fun. He doesn't need to use the kids anymore to send me love letters, he delivers them himself, every day. Although he did say the idea for 'Paradise By the Dashboard Light' was inspired by our make out session after Prom! And his decision paid off. They WON! Out of all the show choirs in the country Will's WON!

I phoned the local newspaper and Principal Figgins to tell them the news. We all went out to eat and celebrate before the long ride home. Four and half hours of driving and we sang and chatted the whole way. Sue drove half the distance then asked Shannon if she wanted to take over. Will and I sat hand in hand the whole way. The feeling of complete euphoria is hard to describe. I realized this sense of achievement that we had all worked together to make a reality linked us forever now. Those kids would move through time and space away from each other but they would always have this connection, this feeling of pride to carry with them and be able to recall this sense of happiness. I looked at each of the kids, their faces beaming. They had all achieved: Brittany - presidency and a prom, Santana had come to terms with her sexuality, Quinn had danced at Nationals, Puck was graduating, Mike could sing, Sugar couldn't sing but she'd got herself into a choir anyway, Kurt, Blaine, Tina, Rachel, Finn, Mercedes – they had set out to win and they had won. I looked at Will. I didn't want this euphoric feeling to end, I wanted my own achievement to be proud of, an achievement I could share with him, as he was sharing with the kids. He and the kids were singing, 'The Edge of Glory again.' I looked at him, his eyes were shining, his whole being was radiating with energy and success, his singing voice – so seductive, his fingers entwined in mine, never letting go. I felt my whole body want to leap inside his skin, to be part of him, for him to be part of me. I thought to myself, I'm 'on the edge of glory with you', and tomorrow night my love, we're gonna go over the edge. We arrived home at 10pm. Exhausted.

Back at school the next day Figgins had told everyone about New Directions' success. The Lima News had Will on the front page. I rushed out and bought a cake and told Will to get his sexy backside to the teacher's lounge. I bought a candle to symbolize the fire in my nether regions. I got on the computer and printed off one pamphlet titled, 'When it's finally time to have intercourse.' I snuck in while he and the kids were delivering their trophy to the trophy cabinet and decorated his office and left the pamphlet on his desk. I wanted to see the expression on his face when he saw it so I followed him back. He looked surprised, but titillated. I walked off excited. There was no point staying at work, I had to choose a nightdress. And disconnect the phone.

When Will got home I was waiting for him in the bedroom doorway wearing my red nightdress, aglow with passion, backlit by the candles' flames, burning without a waver in the dark. He dropped his bag, mouth agape. I smiled. He walked slowly towards me. I took his hand, backed into the room, directing him to sit on the bed. I pulled off his shoes and socks then stood between his knees. He caught his breath. With the light from the hallway behind me now, I knew my attire was see-through. I smiled down at him as he ran his hands over my waist and hips and I traced a slow lingering caress along his face before delivering a whisper in his ear that had him standing up and reaching for me. I stepped back teasingly resisting his move and started undoing his shirt but I couldn't keep it slow any longer. My fingers sped down his chest, unbuckled his belt then I was jumping into his arms and wrapping my body around his and he was spinning me around and we fell on to to the bed...clothes were dispersed...it happened. I did it. No fears, no negative self talk, no mind playing tricks on me, just pure unadulterated PASSION. Finally, we had sex. And we floated through the evening making love: steamy showers, food, touches, looks, words, until we were ready to do it again...and again.

After the first time he said, 'How does it feel to be a winner?'

I said, 'The prize has been worth the struggle.'

'You're amazing.' He looked down at me with so much love in his eyes.

'And unlike your trophy, mine doesn't need polishing.' I said.

He laughed.

After the second time, he said, 'This is the best night of my life.'

The third time he called me a minx.

At Midnight, as I lay with my head on his chest, his hand caressing my back, he said pensively, 'I don't think I know anymore, where I end and you begin.'

I kissed his chest and said simply, 'We're one.'

The next morning the alarm rang. I reached for it. Rise and shine sleepy head.' I leaned over him, smiling. He opened his eyes and smiled. 'Good morning sexy lady, he pulled me towards him and gave me the longest good morning kiss ever.

Teacher of the Year Award time:

We stood in my office at school, I rolled the lint off his jacket and couldn't help but state how handsome he was. SO HANDSOME.

'Hey.' Will said. I looked at him questioningly. 'Thank you.'

As I straightened his tie, he started caressing my hips. 'My pleasure. Literally. I just thought, you know my man is a winner and he deserves to be treated as such and it was as much for me as it was for you.' I took hold of his hands, afraid, my knees would buckle under his touch that I was finding extremely erotic.

'Last night, was well worth the wait, but I meant thank you for everything. This whole year, it's been incredible. I am so grateful to have you by my side.'

'Many more years to come.' I smiled.

Those lips were so enticing. I felt myself falling towards him. Did we have to go to the awards ceremony? 'My Toucha Toucha Touch Me' fantasy suddenly paid my head a visit. Then son of a biscuit, if it's not Rachel interrupting us, it's Sue.

We walked down the corridor with her to the award ceremony and she was blathering on about winning, but the only thing going through my mind was how I wish she'd move from between Will and I so I could hold his hand. Feel his skin next to mine again. Will told her she did deserve to win. He is so generous in spirit. I am so proud to say he's mine. Sue asked me why I looked different. I wasn't about to tell her anything.

Finchel came to the stage to announce the winner: Will! Finn said he's taught him to dream. Rachel said she couldn't have succeeded without him and she'll carry him every step of the way to New York. I couldn't have succeeded without him either. I had my arm looped through his and my hand clasping his. I thought of that poster in my office, maybe I should add another line to it: Dreams are achievable…with the right person. Then New Directions started singing, 'We are the Champions' and Finn came off the stage to get Will. I reluctantly detached myself from him. Each member hugged Will. I knew he'd be crying. He looked straight at me and sent me a kiss. I kissed him back.