Disclaimer: Bioware owns all, except what I most humbly imagine. While, at times, I will take verbatim from the game, I mostly use the events of the Dragon Age games, expansions and universe as a loose structure around which to construct my re-imagined tale. If you are looking for a strict canon piece, I have no desire to offend, and so I warn you upfront!
When reading this tale, I hope you can easily imagine it being told by the very best of storytellers in Varric Tethras (from DA:2). In my version of events, Varric meets "The Hero" (Elissa Cousland) in Kirkwall during the time period of DA:2. I mention this only so that readers can understand his connection along the way, and so I don't have to mention and rehash it again and again as I make my way through the tale.
A/N: A little more from Vigil's Keep, and a few surprises. :D
Antivan Translations:
1. Lady Death.
2. Poisoned husk of a man. I should have bled him years ago.
Thanks to my readers, followers and reviewers! And to my wonderful betas artemiskat and Snarkoleptic.
Happy Reading!
-Frayed One
Chapter Forty-Five: It's Always In the Last Place You Look
"You should have tried harder, Nathaniel." Elissa's voice had an edge to it that did not help the situation as she trudged up the hill from the stables.
Delilah had spent the night in their room at the Crown and Lion, passing out to sleep in the bed after she and Nathaniel had hashed out whatever there was to be hashed out between them. Nathaniel had been left sleeping on the couch, which was far too short to hold him, and Elissa got no sleep being stuck in the tavern all night. The ride back to The Keep had been very unpleasant as a result.
"Tried harder?" Nathaniel snorted, tossing the reins over to a stable hand and dashing off after her. "Short of forcing Delilah into a wagon and dragging her here against her will, there is nothing I could have said or done to try harder."
"It isn't safe for her to be there. Not with Al…" She stumbled over the name for a moment, righting herself and continuing again. "Not with Albert gone and the city in such a state of disrepair. If she doesn't want to share space with me in The Keep proper, then she can have any one of the cottages within the walls. I should think that distance acceptable until Amaranthine can be rebuilt and she can be resettled in a home of her choosing."
"Look, Elissa." He darted in front of her and stopped her physically, pressing his hands lightly against her forearms and forcing her to look at him. "I get it. I see what you're trying to do – and I appreciate it, more than you know – particularly considering my sister's current behavior— "
"I told you that doesn't bother me."
"Yes, I can see how much it doesn't bother you." Nathaniel cleared his throat, when Elissa's narrowed eyes made it clear that she wouldn't tolerate this conversation for much longer. "Elissa… coming back here won't be easy for Delilah, even without you and – well – us to contend with."
"Us?" Elissa's voice lowered, and Nathaniel could feel her body go tense beneath his fingertips, like a rabbit ready to run.
"She was here, Elissa. When Father started to go wrong." He glossed over his slip of the tongue with a topic he knew Elissa would not ignore, and watched understanding start to sink in. "Maker only knows the things she saw beyond what she wrote in those letters we never received. Coming back to Vigil's Keep is like going back to Hig—"
"Don't speak of things you cannot understand!" Elissa hissed, yanking her arms free of his grasp and stomping up the stairs toward the main gate.
"Good job, Nathaniel." He rubbed at his jaw for a moment before taking off after her again. He had a mouthful of things to say, but stopped dead when he saw the look on her face as she traced a thumb over the missive on the top of her post. "What is it?"
"It's from Denerim." She traced her thumb across the Theirin crest once again.
"The Idiot King breaks his silence. This ought to be interesting, especially since you told him not to contact you."
"He's not an idiot." Elissa's words were more an automatic response than anything as she clipped up the stairs into The Keep. "And I tell people many things they don't listen to."
"I don't see what the big deal is."
"The big deal is, I told Alistair not to contact me – and unlike you – he tends to listen to those sorts of requests. Whatever this is, it's dire enough to make him risk making things worse between us to contact me." She disappeared into her office after that, closing and locking the door behind her to ensure that neither Nathaniel nor anyone else could follow.
Elissa paced up to Zevran's door for the third time since she'd left her office, raising a hand to knock, only to draw it back down and pace away a few seconds later. She could not remember dreading a conversation this much in a very long time.
"I can hear you out there, you know. Elves have very good hearing, not to mention – assassin."
Elissa stifled nervous laughter as his voice drifted through the door, drawing in one last calming breath before opening it and stepping inside. "I wasn't certain you'd be ready to see me."
"My darling, why in Thedas would I ever miss an opportunity to look upon your generous curves?" Zevran replied with a wink, drawing a small chuckle out of her in spite of her best efforts.
"You know what I mean." She settled down at his side where he lounged in bed surrounded by any number of books Elissa could only guess had come from Sigrun based on their questionable subject matter. "I know this is not the life you would have chosen."
"Since when is life what any of us would have chosen?" He laughed again, putting down the book he had been reading and reaching over to take her hand and brush a lingering kiss across the knuckles. "The life I would have chosen involves you in far less clothing. I am willing to try it, if it is wishes you have come to grant me. Beyond that, I have the life I have, and I am fine with that."
"You are taking this far, far better than I'd imagined." Elissa passed a wary eye over his face, searching for signs that he was disguising his true feelings – though she doubted she would find them. Zevran was very good at hiding things, even better than she.
"What would you have me do, my Warden? Scream? Cry? Run away?" Zevran cocked an eyebrow at her, folding his arms across his chest and reading her expression just as she'd attempted to decipher his. "I have not run from loyalty to you in the past, and I will not run from it now. Besides, such behavior is unbecoming to a man of my caliber."
"This is different, Zev. This isn't like before. I've handed you a death sentence… I've—"
"You've handed me a contract of extension. I was there. I signed it with my own hand. These things do not come without a cost. Few know that better than you and I." He traced a thumb down her cheek, lingering at the edge of her mouth for a moment and noting the deepening color of her lips before she drew his hand away and into her own.
"I want you to know, this changes nothing. You are not obligated to stay here any more than you were before. You will always be a Warden, I cannot change that, but you are not shackled to this place or to me. Not now, not ever. This is not the Crows." Elissa felt the laughter start where their hands rested against his thigh, and wondered how the man could have such humor about everything.
"To be a kept man chained at your side. There are worse things one could suffer, Doamna Mortii." Zevran continued to laugh as she swatted him and stood again, noting the stress of his reaction was immediately replaced with whatever it was that brought her to see him.
"I received word from Denerim. Alistair has found proof of who is behind the bounty on my head. It's Anora."
"The games you nobles play." Zevran stood and paced over to her side, carefully adjusting his gait to hide the lingering twinge from the closing gash in his side. "Am I to assume our presence has been requested?"
"Eamon wants Alistair's hands to remain clean of this, and as the bounty was on my head and my hands are still stained with her father's blood…" Elissa trailed off, remembering the Landsmeet and the words that Loghain had said to her just before she took his head.
"Avvelenato buccia di un uomo.Avrei dovuto sanguinato anni fa." The words were hissed under his breath, but Elissa understood – though she did not acknowledge.
"He's right, Zev. Alistair cannot do this."
"How long can you bathe in blood and walk away clean?" Zevran stared out the window, his face and voice more serious than Elissa could ever remember seeing them.
"A good friend once told me that a proper bath could wash away anything, even the sins of the world." Elissa smiled as he turned, recognizing his own words reflecting back at him in the voice of another.
"This friend, he was handsome, no?"
"Exceptionally." Elissa laughed, settling in at his side to begin making plans for their early morning departure.
"You're leaving for Denerim." The irritation in Nathaniel's voice was poorly disguised as he stormed across Elissa's study and leaned down against her desk.
"Yes, I—"
"So, The King writes you, against your wishes, and you go running back like nothing ever happened?" He was dumbfounded, and furious, and barely able to contain either of them.
"No, if y—"
"C-commander?" The timid voice of Elissa's personal assistant pulled his attention, and Nathaniel turned to see her cowering just inside the door. "I-I came to tell you I couldn't locate the Lieutenant, ma'am... bu-but I see that you've found him, so I—"
"You can go, Cecile. Thank you for trying." Elissa waited for Nathaniel to diffuse, arching an eyebrow at him and settling back into her chair.
"Did she just call me?" He shook his head as he settled into the chair accross from her desk, confusion replacing the anger that had been there before.
"She did. It's what you are. Unless you don't—"
"No. I'm fine with it I... when did you..." Nathaniel searched her eyes, trying to decipher something there he hadn't seen before.
"Shortly after you came back demanding to be made a Warden. You were always meant to lead, Nathaniel. Amaranthine is yours, and it always has been. While I cannot hand it over outright, I can give back some of what you lost." She made no effort to hide anything from him, letting him read the truth in her words as easily as words on paper.
"Well, this is surprising."
"I have always seen your strengths, Nathaniel. Even when you choose to hide them beneath your much less desireable qualities." Elissa leaned forward on her elbows with a smile.
"Qualities like barging into your office and yelling accusations rather than listening for an explanation?" He nodded, a small snort of laughter diffusing the last of the tension in the room.
"That would be one." She laughed as well, leaning back in her chair again and handing over the missive he'd watched her worry over earlier. "We're needed in Denerim to see to a... problem... that has been hidden in plain sight for some time."
"Anora!" Nathaniel's eyes snapped back up to hers when he finished the last few sentences. "It's been her the whole time?"
"Alistair seems to think so, and she has said nothing to make him believe otherwise. Zevran and I are leaving at first light. I want to speak with her before any decisions are made as to her... punishment."
"If you think I'm—" His irritation rose again, only to be stifled when Elissa spoke again.
"I sent for you because I am asking you to come as well, Nathaniel. If I left you here, you'd simply follow along anyway so I'm saving myself the trouble of having to lecture you later." She rolled her eyes when he started to argue, a wave of her hand ending the conversation and shooing him out the door. "Go, pack. Leave me to finish this ghastly paperwork and get a few hours sleep in peace."
"You're leaving again?"
Elissa looked up from her paperwork, so lost in thought she hadn't even heard the door, though Anders must have opened it to get inside – and she remembered Nathaniel having shut it hours before.
"Not by choice." She yawned, rubbing ink stained fingers over her eyes.
"And you're taking Howe along?" Anders listened to the slow release of a breath from behind her folded fingers, and knew he was testing her patience once again.
"Nathaniel is coming, yes, as is Zevran." Elissa sighed, dropping her hands down against her desk. "Is this how it's to be now? An argument every time Nathaniel is involved? It's becoming tiresome. He is my second, he—"
"He is obsessed with you, Elissa. It is the only thing that drives the man. Not his loyalty to the Wardens, not obligation or duty. Nathaniel's path is chosen by what is most likely to get him into your bed. It always has been." His words were bitter as he sat down in the chair across from her, and Elissa could read nothing beyond that in his expression.
"And what chooses your path, Anders? What led you here tonight? Do you not wish for the same?"
"I care for you. Does that involve a desire to be your lover, yes – but that is not all that drives me. I fear for your well-being, Elissa. For how much of yourself you are losing to darkness with every passing day." Anders' tone evened out as he realized just how angry Elissa was becoming, and he made every attempt to diffuse the situation before it could spiral any further out of his control.
"You think that Nathaniel doesn't care for my well-being? You cannot honestly believe that? I know that you have never cared for him, but don't let your hatred distort reality." Elissa stood from her chair, pacing over to the cabinet nearby and pulling out a bottle of wine she'd stashed away before Oghren had raided the cellars months before.
"He does nothing to stop what's happening to you! What's more, he encourages it!" Anders snipped, temper building as he watched her drink straight from the bottle – another sure sign she'd abandoned her previous attempts to adjust her reckless behavior.
"Encourages? Hardly!" Elissa snorted, rolling her eyes. "Nathaniel rarely even agrees with me. What he does is accept who I am without constantly judging me unfit. What he does is support me as best he can, though he likely disagrees whole-heartedly with whatever I'm doing. That's more than I can say for you."
"Is that really what you think of me? That I'm some-some harpy here to point out your flaws and tell you what to do?" He was on his feet then, striding over to her side and stopping only inches away from her – and that was a sheer act of will in and of itself.
"It is all that you show me, Anders. What else should I see?" She did not back down, glaring right back at him – unflinching in response to his anger. "All you do is tell me how wrong I am. What am I supposed to believe?"
They stood a moment longer simply glaring at one another before he realized she would not hear reason tonight - no matter how loud he screamed it - and turned to go.