Why? Oh why did this have to happen to ME? –part 4
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"Okay spill." I could only blink at both Sirius and James I was still out of it I had spent an entire afternoon with Remus alone. I had loved every second of it. I still couldn't believe that it had just happened yesterday. I had been spacing out for the rest of the night. I hadn't even realized I had gone to sleep until I was promptly woken up by both James and Sirius.
At the moment I was being questioned by the two of them as to what happened yesterday.
"Earth to Emily, hey snap out of it will you." A part of me registered James's hands being waved in front of my face.
"Blimey she's completely out of it mate." Part of me was listening to what they were saying while the other part of me was somewhere else lost in my thoughts.
"I guess we aren't getting any answers out of her at the moment. What should we do now Padfoot the plan obviously went well." James let out a sigh as he sat down on an armchair across from me.
"Of course it went well Prongs. The problem is we don't know how well it went." He began to try to shake me out of my stupor.
"Wha- hey Sirius watch it that hurts." It had felt like I was getting whiplashed from all the shaking.
"Finally we were wondering when you would come back to us. So tell us what happened and don't leave out any details. James and I were only able to see what happened." My eyes widened in horror at Sirius's confession.
"You two were watching?" I asked in disbelief.
"Of course we were watching we saw everything. From the point you two got all cuddly then when you fell on the leaves until you two entered the castle." I had been so shocked I didn't know what to say my cheeks had reddened when he mentioned how they saw me fall. I groaned again I had hoped that the only person who saw was Remus.
"You guys saw that please don't mention it. I didn't mean to fall I was just caught off guard." I buried my face into my hands trying to hide my mortification of the situation.
"Relax you did great so tell us how it went did you confess." I looked up all I could do at the moment was to stare at them as if they had grown another head. Are these two insane there was no way that I could possible confess just thinking about it makes me feel dizzy.
"Of course not are you two insane I can't do that." James just looked at me like he didn't have the slightest idea as to why I couldn't. Sirius on the other hand looked more annoyed with my answer.
"Oh and why not?" Please someone tell me Sirius isn't honestly asking me this.
"That's because I just can't look it's just not possible okay."
"No it's not okay I don't understand why you can't. I mean I thought you loved Remus or were we wrong?"
"Of course I love Remus that's not what I meant. You can't expect me to express my feelings just like that I don't want to be rejected. It's not as easy as you two might think."
"So you're never going to tell him."
"Look it's not like I'm never going to tell him. I just want to tell him when I'm ready. Just give me some time to control these feelings then I will okay."
"Fine well if we aren't going to proceed any further let's talk about some important plans that are coming up shall we." I was confused I wasn't aware that we had some other business to attend to. James seemed to know since he jumped out of his seat with a huge grin on his face.
"Come on we have to go find Wormtail and Moony." The two of them proceeded to drag me towards the Great Hall. Seriously all this dragging is starting to get on my nerves I feel like a damn doll for Merlin's sake.
The moment we entered the Great Hall we went to where Remus and Peter were sitting. The moment we arrived Sirius went straight to the point.
"Halloween is coming up we need to do something big." I nearly smacked myself I had completely forgotten that Halloween was coming up. I hadn't realized that so much time had passed.
"I thought you might, I was thinking that we should all come up with something. Then just combine it to make one huge spectacle."
"You're absolutely right Moony we need to make this better than last year."
I remembered what happened last year I wasn't sure how they were going to top it. I'm not sure how they pulled it off but that was probably one of the most memorable moments. I can still remember my surprise I could see everyone was as shocked as I was. I'm not even sure how they managed to get away with that one. It had happened on the day of Halloween…
I was just sitting there along with my fellow classmates as they chatted amongst themselves. The Great Hall was full of students all of them talking and celebrating. That was when huge bangs were heard against the large doors of the Great Hall. Everything went silent and everyone looked expectantly towards the large oak doors.
When another bang was heard a few of the students arose from their seats. Others withdrew their wands ready to protect themselves. I had looked in the direction of the headmaster who only smiled with a knowing look. The look he had calmed me down. If the headmaster was so at ease then it can't be a huge problem. As I was lost in my own thoughts the others around me began to look more fearful.
At that moment the doors opened with a large bang and the ghost came barging in. All of them sporting their own battle cry then from the other side of the room another huge bang opened. The two huge oak doors opened to reveal a bunch of other darker figures who charged in the direction of the ghosts. It was spectacular each of the figures glowed in their own distinct color.
There was red, grey, yellow and blue it was absolutely magical at the moment of contact the cloaked figures burst into their respective colors forming an animal. I could see a stag, dog, mouse and wolf run across over head like shooting stars; finally disappearing into the night only leaving their sparkling colors of dust to fall on the students. At first it looked like glitter falling from the sky I held out my hand and saw the sparkled dust become treats.
I'm not sure how they did it but they had made candy fall from the sky I think it was the first time I had smiled so openly.
I hadn't realized that had been smiling at the memory until I felt the eyes of the Marauders on me.
"Emily are you remembering something." Sirius, he was always the first to jump at the opportunity of finding out something new and interesting. Also for some reason he seemed to always know what someone was thinking.
"Actually yes I was remembering you're show from last year. It was amazing I still haven't forgotten that day. It feels like it had just happened yesterday." Apparently James loved my response since his smile widened.
"Hey guys I think I have a great idea." All of us turned to James whenever he had an idea it always ended up becoming spectacular. Once he made sure he had all of our attention he proceeded to tell us his great idea.
"I think we should let Emily come up with this one." My eyes could only widen he couldn't possibly be serious. I mean yes I was used to going along with their various pranks but I had never come up with one myself. I was sure that the others would agree that it would be a horrible idea to put me in charge.
"I think your right Prongs I think we should leave the preparations up to Emily and Moony. What do you say Moony."
"I think it's a splendid idea. What do you think Emily are you up for it?" I wasn't sure how to respond I was scared of screwing up. At the same time I couldn't say no to him when he was looking at me like that. So in response I let out a short breath of surrender. It seemed like there was nothing I wouldn't do for Remus.
"Okay I'll do it but I'm not going to make any promises. I can't guarantee that it will come out as anything close to what you four came up with the year before." It seemed that they were fine with my answer as we proceeded to head off to class.
You're probably wondering why I hadn't mentioned my lessons much I can tell you right now that you wouldn't be interested. The reason behind that was that most of the time I spent spacing out. You would think that I would spend my entire time dreaming about Remus. Well all I can say is that I wish my attention span was big enough to allow me to fantasize about him but like I said I wish. Not a lot of people know this but my attention span is horrible.
For the life of me I could only wish that I was able to listen to our Professor. I mean she is amazing after all it seems kind of weird coming from me but I respect Professor McGonagall. She's quick with her spells and she's neutral, she never plays favorites. I have to admit that is one of the things I admire the most. The reason why I saw this is so you can understand why I struggle so much with myself in order to pay attention. I know she knows that I tend to space out she has called me out on it before.
Like I said I don't have control over my own mind which tends to like to wonder off. At the moment I was sitting in one of the desks in a row closest to the front of the class. At the moment she was explaining the art of transforming objects into animals at will. During our first year we were only able to turn our quills into a bird.
This year she was showing us how to transform bigger objects. It was supposed to be complicated since the person casting the spell had to be completely focused. I had started out with paying close attention to the professor when my eyes began to wonder off in a different direction. For some reason I found a statue of a bird quite fascinating. My eyes were beginning to imagine the bird contorting into a different image when I received a nudge on the side from the person sitting next to me.
At the moment I couldn't remember her name I was always bad at remembering people's names. She had passed me a note I turned to see who sent the note. It looked like it had come from one of the Slytherins. I looked down to read the note...
Go to the terrace on the west wing and tell no one.
I could only stare at the note and wondered if it was a good thing to go or not. The note had no name but by knowing that a Slytherin had sent it was enough evidence that it wasn't good. I knew that if I told anyone then I would have to pay the consequences. To be quite honest I was scared I didn't want to go alone. I have never been very brave in my life maybe that was one of the reasons I didn't get sorted into Gryffindor.
I hadn't realized how scared I was until I heard the bell ring indicating the end of the lesson. It was one of the last lessons for today since my last class was postponed for next week. I gathered my books and tried to make my way to the girl's bathroom quickly. Luckily when I arrived everyone else had gone to class or to their respective dorms. I needed time to think of whether or not I should go to the meeting place.
The first thing that crossed my mind was that I couldn't let the Marauders know. I didn't want them to get involved in my own personal problems. I knew I was a coward but there was no way that I was going to get them worried. Especially over something that didn't have to do with them. I'm not sure how I managed it but I had managed to drag myself to the meeting point.
To be quite honest I wasn't sure who to expect my mind was running through all the different possibilities. I tried to calm myself down and tried to focus instead on trying to prepare myself for the unexpected.
The moment I reached the terrace I looked around to see who the one that had sent the note was. I didn't see anything and just when I was about to turn around and leave I felt a pair hands clamped onto my eyes to prevent me from seeing.
"Don't turn around and don't speak just listen." It wasn't a request whoever it was sounded like they were in a hurry. I could feel his wand poking at my side as a silent warning to listen to what he had to say. I only nodded in response.
"I just want you to deliver a message. I want you to tell-." He was cut off by voice belonging to someone other than the two of us.
"Let her go Regulus." A big part of me was relieved that someone else had shown up. After hearing her Regulus ended up pushing on the floor at his feet.
"This has nothing to do with you Evans." This was the first time I had seen Lily up close. She was famous for always for helping those who needed it. There had been times when she had even gone against James and Sirius when they picked on Snape.
"I think it does since it looks like you were harassing her just a few moments ago." They just stared at each other waiting to see who would yield first when Regulus dropped his stare.
"One of these days Evans, you'll regret getting into other people's business. I'll see you around Thompson." Once he had left Lily came to my side to offer me her hand.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah thanks by the way. How did you know I was up here?"
"I saw you coming this way after class. I wanted to give this back to you since you accidentally dropped it on your way here." I looked down to see what I had dropped. Apparently I had dropped the book that Remus had lent me a few days ago.
"Oh god thanks so much I can't believe I dropped it."
"No problem by the way your name is Emily am I right, my names Lily, it's a pleasure to meet you."
"Same here-wait what time is it." I had remembered that I was supposed to meet with Remus at six I had completely forgotten. We were supposed to start working on our little Halloween project. I just hoped that I wasn't too late.
"I think it's almost six why?" My eyes had widened I couldn't believe it I just hoped that Remus would forgive me.
"I'm late I'm sorry Lily but I have to go. Thanks again I'll see you around."
"Sure bye" I could hear her call out to me as I ran down the corridors. It was supposed to be the first time we would get together to begin planning.
By the time I had reached the room of requirement I was out of breath and starving.
"*huff* I'm sorry *huff* I didn't meant to *huff* be late." That was how I made my grand entrance into the room of requirement. I could see Remus sitting on one of the couches with different types of books spread out. I expected him to be angry or to yell at me instead he gave me a small smile.
"It's okay if you're hungry there are some treats on that table over there." I could feel my eyes water in appreciation, at this moment it felt like my love for Remus would explode. In a blink of an eye I was in front of the table and devouring the delectable deserts. In think it was around my fourth dish that I realized what I had done.
I could practically feel the glares that James and Sirius were sending me through their minds. I was afraid to turn around to see Remus's reaction. I could practically imagine his disgust at how un-lady like I looked I couldn't help it. My brain shuts down when there is food within my vicinity. I had completely frozen mid bite when I heard Remus's laughter from across the room.
"I guess you must have been hungry." I turned slowly and only gave a small nod since I could feel my blush turn a couple of shades darker.
"Sorry I didn't mean to do that I just get a little out of control when it comes to food." Remus just shook his head at my words.
"There is nothing to be sorry about I like you the way you are." I could feel myself turned into a complete tomato I don't think he even realized what he said.
After I was able to get over my shyness we spent the rest of the afternoon sitting together. We went through different books trying to come up with the craziest ideas. We spent most of the afternoon joking around and exchanging stories.
During the rest of the week and the following week we proceeded to continue with this little ritual. I remember that every day I would practically jump out of my seat in order to get to our usually meeting place. The room of requirement became my own personal sanctuary because in that room I could forget my worries. In that room it was just Remus and me nothing else and that's all that mattered at the moment. I was content that it was just Remus and me for me it was enough.
I remembered how during that week I was able to get rid of my shyness little by little bit. We would joke and trade stories sometimes we would forget about the time. Time didn't seem to exist in our little sanctuary. Some of the stories he told me about had to do with some of the adventures that the Marauders went on. I was shocked that they hadn't gotten themselves killed from all the crazy things they did.
Yet there was one day out of all the rest that I loved the most I'm not entirely sure why. Part of me believed it had to do with the moment maybe the setting. There were a number of reasons that could explain why I loved that moment the most. It happened on a Saturday we didn't have any pranks going on therefore we agreed to spend the day making finishing touches on our grand Halloween surprise. The other Marauders didn't seem to mind James was busy with Quidditch since new recruits were being brought in. Sirius on the other hand was busy breaking hearts left and right. Wormtail on the other hand was stuck with professor Flitwick on improving his spell work.
Like always we ended up losing track of time the only difference this time was that we had asleep. I could feel my cheeks burn at the memory…
This feels so comfortable I don't think I want to ever wake up. Wait a minute why am I sleeping what's going on. That's when I felt movement underneath my head.
Since when do pillows breathe? What in the blazes is going on? Maybe if I close my eyes hard enough I'll wake up in my own bed. Maybe I'm even imagining things. Okay maybe I completely lost it.
I wasn't sure I wanted to open my eyes but I did. I blinked a few times to get the blurriness out of the way. The first thing to register into my mind was that this was not my dorm. Therefore that could only mean one thing I must still be in the room of requirement. But if that's true then I must have fallen asleep. I look and notice that I must have fallen asleep on the couch.
I was fine with that but what made me completely freeze not to mention make me forget how to breathe. The issue was not where but on what I fell asleep on or in this case on whom. There right in front of my own face was the peaceful face of Remus. I could feel my eyes grow the size of quaffle balls. I was afraid to move. I wasn't even sure what to do in a situation such as this one.
It wasn't the first time I had cursed myself for getting myself in situations such as these. Just when I thought I was going to lose it my eyes fell on the sleeping face of Remus. It was the first time I had seen him look so peaceful. He looked so unreal for a moment I was afraid that I was dreaming and that soon I would wake up and he would vanish.
I'm not sure what it was that made me do it but I lifted my hand towards his face. I had never had the opportunity of being this close to him. A part of me was thrilled at the chance of being able to be with him like this. I think there was a small part of me that wondered how his skin felt like under my finger tips. I tried to keep my breathing as even as possible because I felt that if I shifted in the slightest that he would vanish. I didn't want him to vanish I wanted him to stay with me as long as possible.
When my fingertips reached their destination I had to hold in a small gasp. My imagination was nothing compared to this feeling. His skin was soft and warm I was afraid that he would disappear. There was a part of my mind that registered how my hand held his cheek in my palm. He was breathing evenly he must have been exhausted.
Somewhere in my mind I registered that always around this time we would seem more exhausted. I think it had to do with whatever it was they did every month. I never bothered asking I knew that everyone has secrets after all I had one of my own. Everyone needed to keep their own secret that's how people are.
My fingertips had made their way down his jaw I was completely entranced at the texture of his skin. I wanted to feel his lips the lips I would dream about. I remember how so many times I would dream for a fairytale ending.
Oh why couldn't I have a normal romance? I'm not exactly sure how long we stayed that way but I practically jumped two feet in the air when I heard voices outside. It seemed that the Marauders came looking for us.
When they opened the door they froze all sporting their own weird expression at what they saw. I could only imagine how I looked since in my shock I fell to the ground. I think I had grabbed the table cloth in order to regain some balance I forgot that we had left our pumpkin juice on the table. So it ended up spilling on top of my head.
"Uh-wha-what happened? Actually I don't want to know." James was the first one to recover when he had entered he had sported a look of complete shock and confusion. Sirius on the other hand had a very suspicious smirk crossing his face. Wormtail just looked completely displeased.
"Prongs, Padfoot, Wormtail what are you three doing here." Apparently Remus had also woken up I felt like I was a child who was caught red handed. I didn't realize that Remus was awake I didn't even want to know how long he had been awake.
"We'll we had come to see if you two made any progress. We just didn't think that you two where making this kind of progress." I could feel myself turn into a ripe tomato. Curse Sirius and his boldness.
"Maybe we should come back later." I could feel my face drain of color I dint want them to leave me alone to deal with such an embarrassing situation.
"No! Wait don't leave. Actually we have finished and we just have to set things up." I was perfectly aware that I was covered in pumpkin juice but Peter didn't have to give me a dirty look. Excuse me for getting so freaked out.
"Um okay." James and uncertain step forward. What in the blazes was wrong with these three.
That had happened a few days ago I took me a while to convince James to lose his frightened posture. It took me a longer time to convince Sirius that nothing had happened. Remus on the other hand was no help what so ever with his vague answers. Although I don't blame him see he only woke up when they came therefore had no idea as to why I was on the floor with pumpkin juice.
At the moment we where getting for our great spectacular. We had spent the last few days preparing the necessary spells and items we would need. To be perfectly honest I was a bit excited I could only hope the rest would love it as well.
A lot of things had happened during the last few days I had found a new friend in Lily. After that incident she became one of my closest friends. We would spend some time together whenever the Marauders weren't around. I had never imagined that I would befriend so many Gryffindors this year. It seemed that this year would end up becoming the most promising.
Ps: sorry I had to leave it here for those who want more romance and more actions well I can safely say that more is coming.
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