A/N: Cookies for all the wonderful readers who also review - you're awesome. More MaDi coming up, and some LoVe too. It takes a while to get these characters where you want them, but it'll happen, I promise! ;-)
(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)
Chapter 20
Mac wasn't sure why she was shaking when she reached the suite door. A part of her was kind of giddy at the prospect of seeing Dick after their night together. Another part was nervous and apprehensive since their relationship had changed so much in the course of the past twenty-four hours, and then because of the subject she wanted to talk to him about as well. It wasn't as if she was coming here to ask him to live with her, she was just going to tell him she planned to get a place of her own and gauge his reaction before making any further comments or requests.
It all sounded so simple in her head, and yet when Mac raised her hand to knock on the door, she found it was shaking more violently than ever. This was insane, she had nothing to be afraid of, perhaps a little to be excited about but that was all. Taking a deep breath, Mac braced herself and knocked at last, finding a smile when Dick opened the door and grinned at her.
"Hey, babe" he greeted her easily, making Mac wonder what she had ever been worried about.
It sounded terrible, and she knew it, but somewhere in the back of her mind, she couldn't help but let herself worry about how Dick could be with her when she saw him again. Last night had been so great, he had made it clear he cared about her genuinely, and was not just with her for sex or to pass the time until something better came along. She felt a kind of commitment had been made between them, but there was no real way to know if Dick felt that way too. There was this tiny chance he was going to laugh in her face today, tell her last night meant nothing more than a good lay, and that would most likely have broken her heart. The relief of realising that wasn't going to happen was immense, as he leaned over and kissed her soundly on the lips.
"I kinda need to talk to you" she said then, not really any more eager to end the kissing than Dick was, but it was necessary right now.
Making out was all well and good but if she let herself fall into a moment of passion, all rational thought was going to go out of her head and she had come here for a reason. Dick either wasn't listening or was unphased by her words as he encouraged her towards his bedroom, his lips back on hers and his hands at her waist. It'd be so easy just to let it happen, but Mac had to be the grown-up here, once again.
"Dick, stop" she urged him, so suddenly that he actually reeled back with his hands up in some kind of surrender.
Maybe he thought he hurt her or something, and that just made her feel bad for snapping. She hadn't meant to, she just had to be firm with herself as well as him right now. There would be plenty of time for getting familiar again later. Right now there were serious life-changing things to talk about.
"You okay?" he checked as she sat down on the edge of the bed.
"Yes, I'm fine" she promised him, reaching for his hand and pulling him down beside her, "I didn't mean to make you think I wasn't. It's just... we really do need to talk, Dick"
He nodded that he understood, though it was clear he was already panicking about what she was going to say. Dick was used to being the guy that dumped the girl, that had the serious conversation about how he didn't do commitment and it totally wasn't her fault but their night together was strictly one show only. Now it seemed almost as if he was about to be on the receiving end of it, even though he couldn't imagine his sweet Macky being so cruel. She was the one who saw sex as a big deal, something Dick had been far and away from understanding, until last night. He had to admit, in his own head at least, it had been different, though he was pretty sure he'd turn into a girl if he had to say it out loud!
"Dick, I..." she began then, hardly able to meet his eyes.
Unfortunately, his attention as well as hers was soon taken away from anything they might've said to each other as the main door to the suite opened and slammed shut a second later, arguing voices yelling loudly in the former silence.
"I already told, it was not a date!" came Veronica's voice, loud and clear, "And even if it were, it could not be less of your business!"
"Oh yeah, so I'm just supposed to stand by while you fall for another loser that'll break your heart?" asked Logan cuttingly and with just as much volume.
"Do you count yourself in those losers or should only Duncan and Piz be offended?" came the immediate and very angry reply.
Mac and Dick moved towards the bedroom door almost as one to listen in more easily, though honestly given the yelling and shouting, it would be a miracle if everyone on the floors above and below weren't privy to the argument between the ex-couple too.
"We shouldn't be listening" Mac whispered, at which Dick balked.
"Like we have a choice" he remarked, and she could hardly argue.
As it was, there was no way to avoid hearing, and neither was willing to walk out into the main room to announce their presence when Veronica and Logan were clearly more than a little mad.
Whoever Logan had seen Veronica not-out-on-a-date with was unclear as yet, but the fact he was jealous spoke volumes. Mac thought it had to mean plenty that Veronica had come after her ex like this too. If she was out with some other guy, date or not, it seemed strange she would abandon them to chase after Logan, unless she was feeling way more than she was willing to admit here.
In silence, Mac and Dick leaned closer to the door once again to see what they would hear next.
"Would you get over yourself!" Veronica yelled crossly as she threw her purse into the couch cushions with considerable force, "When are you going to get it, Logan? You don't run my life!"
"No, but I thought I was at least allowed to care about you" he countered from behind the furniture, "What do you expect me to do, Veronica? Just switch off whatever feelings I had for you? You of all people should know, it doesn't work that way"
"Why me of all people?" she wanted to know, reading the look on his face and immediately wishing she never asked, "Oh, no. Do not bring Duncan into this"
"Why? Because you can't deny I'm right?" he wanted to know, "You dumped me, Veronica, for a whole bunch of reasons, I know that" he admitted, "but you can't tell me one of them wasn't because you wanted to try again with your precious first love"
She couldn't deny it, Veronica knew it would be a lie if she tried and she just hated that he was right. Dragging up their entire shared dating history was not going to help them resolve all this, but unfortunately if he was going to dig up some not-quite-buried hatchets, she was going to have to do the name.
"Well, you did a wonderful job of not caring about that" she told him, folding her arms across her chest, "Tell me, how much did it thrill you that Dr Griffith's daughter was blonde, perky, and petite?"
Logan shook his head in disbelief that she would bring up Hannah. Despite appearances and how his relationship with her had started, he had genuinely cared about her in the end. Having her shipped off to Vermont had stung, not half so much as any time he and Veronica had split up, but it still hurt. Well, if she was going for the low blows, two could always play.
"I don't know, Veronica" he said with an annoyingly sarcastic smirk, "How much of a thrill did you get out of making me your Duncan substitute for so long?"
"You know that is not why I started dating you" she said, voice low and angry as pain stabbed at her heart, "I can't believe you even said that to me"
"And I can't believe that every time things are good between us, you find some crazy excuse to end it!" he yelled back at her, a little sorry to see pain flash in her eyes, but not enough to apologise yet, "God, Veronica, we've been through so much, together and apart, but the minute things get close to serious, you find a reason to run to the hills!"
"While you're just finding a reason to sit on your ass, get drunk, and sleep with my worst enemies!" she countered, watching the look on Logan's face shift to the same pain she was feeling.
They were both as bad as each other when it came to relationships, and just as nasty when it came to fights. They shouldn't be doing this, it wasn't helping anyone, both Veronica and Logan were all too aware of that, and yet backing down was not an option. Stubborn could be both their middle names and they seemed to be out to prove it this afternoon.
"We can't keep doing this" said Veronica with a heavy sigh, putting a hand to her aching head, "It's like we're on this merry-go-round of rotating knives where you say one thing and I say another, and we're just cutting each other to shreds, and I can't do it anymore" she said, with tears that she hated to feel stinging in her eyes.
"How'd this happen, huh?" said Logan as he leant on the back of the couch looking across at her, "What happened to those kids that met at a girls soccer game?" he asked her with a smile he couldn't help then.
A strange gurgle of strangled laughter escaped Veronica's throat then as she saw the scene he spoke of so clearly in her mind's eye. The first time she laid eyes on Logan Echolls she saw stars, and not the kind that you get in movies. His parents didn't matter to her, neither did his money or his reputation. She was dazzled by a genuine smile and drawn in by a sarcastic sense of humour she could easily share. If not for Lilly and Duncan, well, there was every chance they'd have been dating a lot sooner. That might have saved some heartache, but then given the way she and Logan still fought to this day, maybe not.
"I'm so tired of fighting with you" she sighed as she rounded the couch to meet him, "I just... I want things like they were, when we were friends, when I could trust you"
"You can trust me" he promised her, "and you know we could try friends again" he said, putting a hand to her hair and pushing it over her shoulder.
"You think we can really make friends work this time?" she asked, looking up at him, her question not entirely what it seemed.
They knew they could never be friends, they tried it and it just didn't work. He couldn't stand to see her with Piz and truth be told, Veronica may never as got as far as dating him like she had if her ex hadn't been with Parker. It was together or nothing, that was clear to both of them now, and nothing seemed like such a horrible prospect and a tragic waste, but could they really choose the other option?
Mac pushed her ear up against the door and strained to hear a sound. A deathly silence had fallen so suddenly she was beginning to worry. Looking to Dick, she leaned in closer to him to whisper.
"Do you think they killed each other?" she asked, not entirely serious, but unsure what other explanation to suggest.
"Either that or they're..." replied Dick, making some gesture with his hands that had his girlfriend turning pink in an instant.
He chuckled at her reaction and then signalled for her to shush as he opened up the door just a crack and peeked out. Sure enough, there was his best bud Logan with his arms wrapped around Veronica's smaller frame, practically lifting her off her feet as he kissed her senseless. Closing the door again in silence, Dick grinned widely at Mac.
"Totally making out, half way to crazy monkey sex" he declared with a childish giggle as he dropped backwards onto his bed, "And that is not the worst plan I've heard today" he winked, gesturing for Mac to come join him.
She didn't move, instead holding her ground by the door and frowning.
"I don't think Veronica is going to let that happen" she shook her head, "There's too much going on with the two of them that they need to figure out, she knows that"
"Maybe" shrugged Dick, pushing himself up to sit on the end of the bed and reaching a hand out to her, "C'mere" he urged her, succeeding in pulling her into his lap, but the moment he moved in for a kiss she leant away.
"Dick, c'mon" she told him, "I came here to talk to you, and it was important" she reminded him.
"Oh yeah" he recalled, kinda wishing he'd managed to get to kissing her again and take her mind off the boring talk they apparently needed to have.
Dick never did understand why girls liked talking so much. There were so many better ways to spend time, he didn't get what the fascination was with conversation.
"So" said Mac at length as she dropped off Dick's lap and onto the bed beside him, "I kinda told my parents I was moving out and into my own place" she explained, never actually looking at him the entire time, "And that does not mean I'm expecting you to wanna live with me or pay for an apartment or whatever" she explained fast, "I just... I thought you should know my plans, what with the baby and everything..." she tailed off then as she made her eyes meet Dick's own and tried desperately to read his reaction - it proved impossible.
"Huh" said Dick, just about as smart as anything he ever said.
The truth was, it was maybe the last thing he had expected Mac to say. He thought she was going to dump him, or want to marry him, one extreme or the other that he wasn't going to like. Living together, that actually might be cool. he could certainly get used to spending all his nights with a beautiful woman in his arms, and him and Mac got along so well, she was as good as a best friend as she was a girlfriend. Plus she was having his kid in a few months time, and he wasn't going to want to be too far away from his son or daughter, as scary a thought as it still was that he would even have a child soon!
"That's it, just 'huh'?" asked Mac after a pause that went on too long for comfort.
"I dunno, babe" he shrugged, "I mean, I never lived with a chick before but then I never had a kid either so... could work" he considered.
"You're serious?" Mac realised with a burst of laughter that was borne mostly out of happy surprise.
"Sure" he smiled then, "I mean, when I was a kid, mostly I saw nannies, and my dad was never home, and I ended up taking care of Beav... when I wasn't making his life hell" he looked awkward a moment before shaking his blond head and carrying on, "Er, but basically, it kinda sucked, even with all the money, y'know?" he shrugged, "So I'm thinkin', what a kid really wants is parents that stick together, and love, and stuff like that, right?"
"I guess so" Mac agreed, with tears in her eyes that she truly couldn't explain.
"Cool, then we're gonna have Casa de Mackenzie/Casablancas" he told her happily, glad of the hug and kiss his girlfriend happily gave him then.
The serious talk was done, the make out then took over, as Dick had hoped for from the start. That didn't mean that he'd lied to get what he wanted, he truly did think they could make a cool couple in their own place together, even if it was going to be totally weird. It'd be the good kind of weird though, just like his whole relationship with Mac, and so far he loved how things were going, more than he ever imagined he could.
To Be Continued...