Her Smile Heals Me (part 2)
William Shuester slung his canvas messenger bag over his left shoulder and straightened out his gray sweater-vest in the back as he moved purposefully across the staff parking lot of McKinley High. He was eager to hear from his students in Glee Club how they thought Friday night's prom performances went. The kids had been hesitant at first to be enlisted as their junior prom entertainment, especially with the group's nerves mounting about their upcoming travels to New York City to compete in the Show Choir National's competition. Will had faith in his group's focus and felt the kids could handle the prom as a way to earn additional travel money. He was, though, admittedly shaken by the drama from Friday night's prom king and queen announcement when he received a text from the school's guidance counselor, Emma Pillsbury.
Will looked down at his watch. 7:47AM. Damn… The first bell would be ringing in three minutes so he quickened his pace.
"Hello, William," he heard Principal Figgins' deep, accented voice the moment he walked through the entrance.
"Good morning." Will released a slow sigh. Yep, I'll be late…
"Congratulations to the Glee Club. They were an excellent substitution for The Air Supply," he complimented, referencing the prom's originally-slated entertainment, "Be sure to stop by my office by day's end to pick up the check for $400."
"Thank you, Principal Figgins…definitely!" Will nodded and kept walking, reaching the door of his Spanish classroom as the first bell rang.
Movement in the hallway of McKinley High was thick between classes. Finn Hudson was tall enough though that he could see over the tops of the heads of all the other students. He saw a familiar blonde pulling out a white sweater from her locker and navigated a path toward her.
"Are you still not talking to me?" he asked as he leaned a broad shoulder against a locker.
Quinn Fabray looked up at the handsome McKinley quarterback. Her anger had faded since Friday…somewhat.
"You acted like an idiot, fighting like you did with Jesse."
"You're right."
"…over Rachel?"
"I'm very sorry, Quinn."
"You embarrassed me," she emphasized, looking around the hallway, ever-concerned with her image in the eyes of her classmates.
"I didn't think about anyone but myself."
"You abandoned me," the beautiful blonde whispered, her hurt showing.
"You deserved better," Finn admitted. "Please let me make it up to you?"
Before the former head cheerleader could process Finn's request, she looked up to see the two biggest varsity linebackers in their red Titan team jackets parting the crowded hallway as they walked down its center. Quinn's pulse quickened as her heart started pounding in her chest. She felt blood rushing to her face as her rage swelled and her eyes narrowed.
"Ladies…" the darker football player acknowledged the couple as they passed the lockers.
"You're as funny as always, Z…," Finn dismissed the insult.
"I am so glad you think so." Azimio paused long enough to push Finn into the locker with his giant shoulder. "Oh no, I didn't…."
He laughed loudly, looking toward his fellow linebacker for approval. David Karofsky just stood there, his eyes downcast.
"Help me out here, Karofsky! You're supposed to prevent this kind of crap," Finn reminded his teammate, referring to David's recent commitment to captain The Bully Whips, an anti-bullying campaign at McKinley.
Before David could respond, Quinn slapped him hard across the cheek. "How dare you show your face today at this school!"
"Quinn!" Finn startled. He mumbled under his breath, "I can handle this."
"Whoa there, Rocky…" Azimio was almost amused at the small blonde's spunk.
"What the hell was that for?" David asked, rubbing his stinging face.
"I know!" She looked straight into his eyes and hissed, "…and, you won't get away with it. I assure you."
"What is she talking about, Karofsky," Azimio asked?
"Nothing," Karofsky insisted.
"Liar!" Quinn loudly challenged, several heads turning in their direction. Quinn regrouped, not wanting to hurt Santana by breaching her privacy, and leaned forward to whisper to David, "You will pay for what you did."
David Karofsky felt sweat form on his brow as he flushed under the direct condemnation. He had tried to block out the events of Friday night. He could not remember all the details once he had sobered Saturday morning. He certainly did not anticipate Santana telling things to her friends. Stupid, Dave…he self-scolded.
He mirrored Quinn's whispered tone, "I don't know what you think you know…but…all I'll say is..." He swallowed hard, "…it was consensual."
Quinn was appalled. "Consensual doesn't leave a person black and blue…and bleeding." Quinn slammed her locker door and walked away, shaking.
David's memory flashed back to his blood-stained hands. A feeling of disgust washed over him.
"What the hell is that about?" Finn was confused. He looked at Azimio who shrugged indifferently. They both turned to look back at Karofsky who had already walked away.
Artie Abrams wheeled through the door of the choir room, turned his wheelchair and backed it into an empty spot in front of the risers.
"Dude, where'd you go Friday night?" Sam asked him.
"I got caught by Coach Sylvester."
"Caught? Doing what?" Mercedes asked.
"Spiking the punch."
"The punch was spiked?" Mr. Shuester asked for clarification.
"Well, not exactly…" Artie trailed off as his ex-girlfriend, Brittany, entered the room and sat down on a row behind him. Her presence still took his breath away.
Mr. Shuester shook his head, not always understanding his students. "Hey, Brittany…" he approached the tall blonde, "is Santana sick? She wasn't in Spanish class."
"She wasn't in math class either, Mr. Shue." Mercedes added.
"She wasn't feeling good this weekend," she responded.
"Too much partying after prom?" Puck suggested. The rest of the class snickered.
"You guys are being mean," Brittany defended her best friend.
The truth was Brittany did not know where Santana was or how she was feeling at this point. She had not spoken to the young Latina since they fell asleep in the early hours of Saturday morning. By the time the blonde woke, Santana had already left her house. Quinn didn't see her leave either even though she was asleep on the downstairs couch.
Brittany had texted and left multiple voice messages until Santana's cell phone was full. The only reason she refrained from going over to the Lopez house on Sunday to check on her was out of respect for her dear friend's privacy, unsure if Santana had said anything to her parents. Brittany only hesitated because she did not want to make the horrible situation worse for Santana.
"Mr. Shuester," a loud, determined voice pierced the sedate mood of the choir room, "now that we've tried our wings as paid performers, I must insist that we regroup and refocus on our goal at hand. Nationals!"
"I could not agree with you more, Rachel." He drew in a deep, calming breath as he did every time his most challenging student spoke. "Let's get started, class."
The bell signaling the start of class rang, as Quinn walked through, pulling the door shut.
"Take a seat, Quinn. We're going to pick up where we left off last week before prom interrupted."
Instead of climbing up to the back row of the risers to sit next to Finn, Quinn stopped short and sat to the left of Brittany on the second row. Rachel Berry smiled and looked down at her notebook.
"Ok, class…I was so impressed with the original songs you guys wrote and performed at Regionals," he began. "I think the lyrics you composed really captured the angst you've all felt as outsiders…however...I don't know that you all are reaching deeply enough when you perform."
The sound of the door to the room clicking open interrupted the start of Will's lesson. He turned to see a flash of red hair appear as Emma Pillsbury stuck her head through the cracked door.
"Will, may I see you a moment?"
"Yes, of course," he smiled. "Class, please start your warm ups while I speak to Ms. Pillsbury."
The sound of piano scales started then the sound of voices in unison quickly joined as Will stepped into the hallway, pulling the door closed behind him.
Standing with the guidance counselor was Santana Lopez.
"I found her in the janitor's closet when I went to get more hand sanitizer." Emma added under her breath, "She was very upset."
They both looked at the young brunette who sniffed and looked away.
"Santana, were you in there all morning? Nobody's seen you in class today," Mr. Shuester asked.
Silence.
Emma looked up at Will with her large eyes and shook her head, "I've asked what's upsetting her, but she doesn't seem comfortable talking about it."
"I'm fine," she said blankly.
"You don't look fine, Santana," Will observed.
"Can we just move on?" The questions were too much for the young girl who had been trying to find the courage all morning just to go to her classes. Santana had pushed herself into normalcy ever since her alarm went off at six o'clock this morning. She sat in her car in the student lot over an hour before she could get her legs to carry her inside the school. She made it down one hallway before seeing Quinn and Finn talking to Dave Karofsky this morning. The sight of him overpowered her mental resolve, forcing her to seek solitude in the hall closet. She lost track of time until Ms. Pillsbury discovered her.
The two adults looked at the teenager. Santana shifted awkwardly under their scrutiny, tugging on the long sleeves of her oversized shirt.
"Ok, please find a seat then." Will looked again at Emma, seeing the same concern in her eyes that he felt for Santana.
The door to the choir room opened again and a hush fell over the group as Santana and Mr. Shuester walked in.
Quinn's eyes darted to Brittany as giggles and chatter spread around the choir room.
"Ok, everybody…settle down…where was I…?"
"Mr. Shuester, if I may?" Rachel Berry's hand flew up.
"Go ahead, Rachel…"
"Fellow Glee Clubbers…this is a pivotal time for our little family as we finalize our preparations for nationals…"
"Here we go…" Kurt mumbled, rolling his eyes.
"And…as your co-captain, I would like to take this opportunity to gently remind each of us that tardiness will only hurt the cohesiveness of this group."
"That's enough, Rachel," Mr. Shuester quieted.
"No wait…," Santana spoke, "Is that directed at me, Berry?"
The two brunettes had a volatile history, especially after Santana slept with Finn last year, a fact Rachel did not discover until months later when she was finally dating Finn.
"Rachel, I think you should mind your own business," Quinn added, flatly.
"Why don't you stay out of it, Quinn," Finn defended.
"Why does it not surprise me that you would side with her…."
"I'm just saying…" Finn started.
"Why don't you all mind your own business and just shut up…" no-nonsense Mercedes interrupted.
"ENOUGH!" Mr. Shuester scolded.
Brittany quietly reached across to supportively rub Santana's arm. The Latina beauty looked ragged today. Brittany noticed her eyes were puffy as though she'd been crying a lot. She was shocked to see her at school actually, but Brittany saw Santana had chosen an outfit that hid the scratches and bruises the blonde knew were covering her body.
Santana simply looked down at her folded arms, trying to tune out the rising voices.
"Now I know your stress levels are up with end of the year exams and with us readying for competition, but this is the kind of in-fighting that we cannot resort to at this point," Mr. Shuester urged. "As I was getting to earlier, I want you to take all of this extra energy you all are feeling and put into song. I feel strongly that we must tap into the underlying emotions of the songs we perform," he continued, "and in order to delve deeper into those emotions…this week, I want you each to pick a song that lyrically speaks to the most important person in your life right now…whoever that person or persons may be."
"So…you want us to sing our selection to this person?" Tina asked for clarification, turning to smile at Mike Chang who squeezed her hand in return.
"That's up to you," Mr. Shuester explained, "Bottom line, class…you pick the one song that expresses your innermost, deepest feelings then sing it for the group."
Murmurs started among the Glee members, most of them excited about the challenge Mr. Shue laid before them, as the bell rang, ending class.
As the students stood to leave, William Shuester added, "I expect to see you dig deep on this assignment, guys, and really stretch yourselves in these final days before New York."
Santana moved toward her locker, apprehensively looking down the hallway at the other students passing, fearful she would cross paths with Karofsky. Why am I even here…she quizzed herself.
"Hey…" Brittany said, coming up behind her.
"Hey," Santana said flatly.
"I've been so worried about you. Why didn't you call me back at some point?"
Santana shrugged. She had not intended to block out her dear friend. Brittany's comfort was the only thing that saved her from the abyss Friday night.
"Did you make a doctor's appointment?"
"Not yet…."
"Remember you promised?"
"I remember," Santana replied harshly.
Brittany's face fell.
"I will, Britt…," Santana softened, "I promise."
"Is there anything I can do for you?"
Santana shook her head. "You've done so much already. More than you know," she smiled at the tall blonde.
It was the first smile Brittany remembered seeing on the brunette's beautiful face since early Friday evening. "Just let me know, ok?"
Santana reached for Brittany's hand, "Thank you."
Brittany smiled back.
Artie wheeled up behind Puck as he strutted down the hallway to last period.
"I need your help."
Puck looked down as Artie caught up to him, "Moi?"
"Yeah…you kind of…owe me"
"How do you figure that?" Puckerman owed nobody nothing. "You're the one who blew the whole plan of attack on Friday. Lemonade? Really, dude?"
"I was merely improvising…but the whole thing was your idea," Artie reminded, "It was a bad plan from the outset."
"Now you're insulting my criminal prowess?"
"I almost lost my teeth, man!"
Puck laughed, picturing Coach Sylvester yanking out Artie's teeth. "Ok, what do you need from me?"
"I need your…expertise…of women…to get Brittany back," Artie pleaded.
Puck laughed again. He had spent a lot of time with Santana over the last three years, and there was one thing Puck knew with certainty…wherever Santana was, Brittany was.
"Three's a crowd, Artie," Puck warned.
"I've thought about that," Artie said sadly, "and…I'm cool with whatever time Brittany spends with Santana."
Puck looked down at the woeful teen. "Ok, my friend, we'll brainstorm that one tonight. Your place, 7pm. Your dad better have beer in the fridge."
"Awesome." Artie smiled awkwardly.
"A double mocha decaf…" Mercedes ordered, stepping up to the counter at The Lima Bean coffee shop. She smiled widely to Sam who was standing off to the side, his hands tucked into the pockets of his jeans. "What's your drink order?" she asked him.
"I'm not…no, I…um…don't like coffee," he stammered, his fair skin lightly flushing.
"You don't have to get coffee," Mercedes laughed, not remembering Sam's tight budget since his father lost his job.
He jingled the coins in his pants pocket. "Maybe just…water?" Sam regretted joining the group of friends after school.
Mercedes turned back to the cashier. "And a hot chocolate for my friend," she added, remembering how much Sam liked it. "My treat," she winked at the uncomfortable blond who smiled appreciatively.
Once their drinks were prepared, Mercedes and Sam walked over to the large table where Kurt, Blaine, Tina and Mike Chang were already seated.
Sam politely pulled out one of the two remaining chairs and motioned for Mercedes to take a seat before sitting down between her and Mike Chang.
Kurt smiled keenly across the table at Mercedes, knowing Sam was all his dear friend had talked about since Friday's prom.
Mercedes smiled and took a sip of her coffee.
"Finn and Quinn seem to still be on the outs," Kurt was updating Blaine on the Glee gossip, "They didn't speak at lunch, and she didn't sit near him in Glee rehearsal today."
"That should make Rachel happy," Blaine observed.
"So what's the deal with Santana and Karofsky?" Tina asked.
"What do you mean?" Mercedes asked for clarification. Kurt and Blaine shifted in their seats, exchanging uneasy glances. It was clear to them that the Glee Club did not know Karofsky was gay.
"It's just weird," Tina stated, "and now that he won Prom King and she didn't…well, it's even weirder, don't you think?"
"I don't know…Santana's been weird in general lately," Sam added, having been the one Santana broke up with to begin her sudden romance with Karofsky.
"I'm just surprised Brittany isn't putting up more of a fight over that pairing," Blaine said.
Kurt cut his eyes toward him as soon as he finished his statement then lightly kicked him under the table.
"What?" he mouthed toward Kurt, thinking what he said was public knowledge.
Mercedes and Tina looked at each other with raised eyebrows, amused that someone said the obvious out loud, then the girls both looked over at Mike Chang who smiled sheepishly.
"Hold up…what are you saying?" Sam asked, confused by the silence that hung over the table of friends.
Kurt and Blaine both reached for their coffee cups at the same time, each taking a long sip.
"Wait…Brittany and Santana?" Sam asked, looking around the table at each of the others.
Brittany adjusted the backpack on her shoulders and walked through the door of her history class Tuesday morning. She was pleasantly surprised to see Santana sitting at their assigned table.
"Hi…" Brittany smiled as she sat in the seat next to the brunette who was reading a section in her history book.
"Hey, Britt," she responded, returning the smile.
"Are you ready for this test?" The tall blonde was always nervous when having to recall textbook information. Usually, Santana would study with her to help her feel prepared, but the brunette had secluded herself the last few days.
"Not really…," Santana admitted, closing her book in defeat.
Brittany slid her left hand across the table so that it touched the edge of Santana's, trying not to generate unnecessary attention to the pair. "I want to help you in some way, Santana, but…I don't know how," she whispered.
Santana welcomed the feel of Brittany's touch, savoring it for a moment by crossing her pinky over the top of Brittany's pinky. Her spirit longed for the touch of her dear friend, but since Friday night, her body had shut off.
"Why don't you come over to my house tonight?" the blonde suggested, eager to reconnect with Santana.
"Yeah, maybe…."
"We could talk…or just watch a movie?" Brittany suggested, hopeful.
"Let me see how I feel tonight, ok?" the young Latina sounded unsure, "I haven't been sleeping well…I'm pretty tired."
"Ok." Brittany couldn't hide her disappointment as the bell rang in the start of the period.
"Class, please put your books away and take out a writing utensil," their history teacher announced.
Santana put her history book in her locker, shut the door and turned, running face first into David Karofsky.
"Can we talk about…what happened the other night?" he asked in a hushed tone.
Every muscle in Santana's body tensed and her pulse quickened at hearing Karofsky's voice. Defensively, she tried to take a step backward but bumped into the metal lockers. Her mind flashed back to the two of them in the same position against the wooden wall of the snack booth on Friday night. With no place to move, her breath left her as her heart started pounding in her chest.
"Santana…?" Dave moved closer, "What have you said about what happened between us?"
"Nothing…," she whispered, her voice shaking.
"Cause nothing unusual happened…right?" he coaxed her.
Santana stared up at him as he stood over her, a look of fright in her dark brown eyes.
"…Right?" he insisted, his tone overpowering her.
"Right," she answered softly, her defeat evident.
"We were just two people…on a date…doing our thing, right?" he confirmed, "Something you're known for, right?"
"…right," she repeated weakly, tears welling up in her eyes. The smell of Karofsky's cologne as he leaned over her was making the brunette physically ill, remembering the scent mixed with his sweat and scotch on Friday night. She pulled her hand to her mouth and swallowed hard as bile coated the back of her throat, her jaw muscles tingling.
"Good," he said with a hint of sarcasm. He leaned in closer and kissed her on the cheek for public show then walked away, saying over his shoulder, "See you later, sweetheart."
Santana broke into a panicked run up the hallway and slammed open the door to the girls' restroom, pushing past two other students as they were exiting. She dropped her backpack in the floor of an empty stall as she collapsed before its toilet, throwing up several times until her body had nothing left but air.
"Santana?" Rachel Berry had followed her into the restroom.
Rachel got no response, but she could hear someone gagging in the only occupied stall. Knowing it had to be Santana, she knocked on the metal barrier which pushed opened the unlocked door.
"Santana, are you ok? I saw you run in here," she asked the brunette who was kneeling with her head over the toilet, dry-heaving. "Do you need me to get the nurse?"
After the muscles in her abdomen stopped convulsing, Santana sat on the floor and leaned her head back against the cold metal of the side wall. Rachel pulled a long strand of paper off the roll and kneeled beside her, wiping the Latina's mouth with a cautious touch.
Rachel saw a hot pink water bottle in the side pocket of Santana's backpack. She pulled it out, twisted it open and handed it to the sick girl. Santana took a small sip then a larger one, rinsing her mouth the second time and leaning forward to spit it into the toilet. She settled back down and coughed hard, her eyes watering.
"Do you need the nurse?" Rachel asked again.
"No."
The smaller brunette continued to kneel on the floor as she looked at the young Latina, quietly marveling at how truly beautiful she was even while she was puking into a toilet. She could see why all the boys at McKinley wanted to be with her. I just wish Finn wasn't like all the other boys…she thought sadly…I thought we had something special.
Santana took another sip from her water bottle then handed it back to the petite brunette. "Thank you," she said softly.
"Are you pregnant?" Rachel asked bluntly, never one for subtlety, as she replaced the top to the bottle and slid it back into the side pocket.
The taller brunette looked up at her and drew in a shaky breath, caught off guard by the direct question. "No," she replied, inwardly unsettled by the question.
"Oh…good," she smiled sweetly. "I saw you talking to Karofsky in the hall. You both seemed pretty upset so I guess I just assumed."
Rachel watched Santana's body tense and her eyes fill with tears at the mention of his name. "You're scared of him, aren't you?" she astutely observed.
Santana's shoulders fell as she broke into a sob. Rachel leaned forward and pulled the young Latina close, putting her arms around her. The smaller brunette let Santana cry until her tears slowed, holding her tightly.
Rachel pulled another strand of toilet paper and handed it to the taller brunette so she could blow her nose. She took another strand and gently wiped Santana's face.
"Why are you being so nice to me?" the Latina asked her, "I've said horrible things to you over the last two years."
"Because you need a friend right now," she replied sympathetically, "…besides, I know you don't really mean the awful things you say to me."
Santana sniffed and wiped at her nose. "Actually…I do mean most of it," she confessed, "okay, well…some of it."
Both brunettes smiled and shared a small laugh that broke some of the tension that hung in the small space.
"Listen, Rachel…I'm sorry about what happened with Finn," the taller brunette admitted.
"It's in the past, Santana."
"No, your feelings for him are strong…I understand it more now. I feel really bad for messing with that," she reconciled, "It would just kill me if someone did that to me with…someone I love."
Something about Santana seemed softer, allowing Rachel to feel strangely connected to her, and she confessed, "I love him…with all my heart." Tears formed in her bright brown eyes.
"I know you do," Santana confirmed, "It's all over your face…whenever he's around."
Rachel smiled. "Girls are like that, I guess…always the romantics, we are," the petite teen surmised, gesturing dramatically, "…it keeps us from hiding our true feelings."
Santana smiled back.
Rachel paused. "You know, Santana…your face gives you away too," she added.
Santana looked confused, her brow furrowing.
"Whenever a certain tall blonde is around," Rachel identified.
Santana blushed and looked down. "It's that obvious?" she asked, embarrassed that her feelings for Brittany were starting to betray her to others.
"When it's boundless, love is very hard to hide," the smaller brunette assured her, sensitively rubbing the Latina's arm and adding, "Love is beautiful, Santana…in whatever form it takes."
Santana looked into the caring eyes of the teenager next to her, and she didn't see the annoying diva she knew from Glee Club or the loud know-it-all who drove her crazy…she only saw a young girl who understood life on a broader scale from being lovingly raised by her two gay dads.
"I need to get to class…will you be ok?" Rachel asked.
"Yeah, I'm good," the Latina confirmed. As the smaller brunette stood and turned to leave, Santana added, "Rachel…thank you."
Rachel looked back for a second and smiled before leaving the restroom.
Brittany switched off the television in the living room and yawned. She had dosed off while watching My Cat From Hell which was her cat, Lord Tubbington's, favorite show.
She stood and leaned over to turn off a table lamp behind the couch when she heard a light knock on the front door. Brittany looked through the peep hole and saw a familiar face. She unlatched the front door quickly and opened it.
"Santana," she smiled broadly.
"I saw the light on," the dark-haired girl said, "Is it too late?"
"No, it's fine, come in," Brittany stepped back out of the doorway to allow room for her friend to enter.
Santana looked around; all the lights were off now except an upstairs lamp. "I shouldn't have come here so late," she was now doubting her decision.
"It's great to see you," Brittany reassured her, "I've missed you."
"My parents don't even know I left the house," she confessed, "…I just…really needed to see you."
"I'm glad you came." Brittany could tell her best friend was upset. She moved toward her to put her arms around the brunette, but before she completed contact, Santana crumbled into her embrace, wrapping both arms tightly around her. Brittany could hear soft sobbing.
"Hey, you're safe, ok?" the blonde whispered into her ear, squeezing her tightly. After a few minutes passed, Brittany asked, "Do you want to go to my room?"
The brunette nodded and wiped at her eyes.
Once they reached the top of the stairs, Brittany closed her bedroom door behind them and handed Santana a box of tissues. Santana pulled a couple from the box then set it down on the nightstand, settling into the bedroom chair. She pulled off each of her white sneakers, tossing them to the floor, then pulled her long legs up underneath her and wiped some more at her eyes.
Brittany sat across from her on the ottoman, taking one of Santana's hands into her own.
"It's just been so hard, you know," the brunette started.
"I can only imagine, honey." Brittany squeezed Santana's hand. It was soft, as she always remembered it being, and she brushed her thumb over its knuckles in a gentle caress.
"I have been trying to block out everything that happened and just move forward, but I feel like I'm slowly losing my mind." Santana dabbed at her eyes as she spoke, her pain so close to the surface.
"Santana, you can't keep it bottled up inside you like you've been doing," the blonde girl implored.
"Yeah, I know…," Santana drew in a deep breath then slowly released it.
Brittany looked at her dear friend, not wanting to push her beyond what she could handle. Santana looked back at the tall blonde, remembering all the times in the past she had wanted to open up to Brittany, to expose some of her deeper feelings. Lately, the friends had made some progress toward understanding each other's complex thoughts about the other one and their powerful bond. Santana had known for a very long time that she felt more for her friend than just their playful sexual explorations with each other. She started needing more and more time with Brittany, but she was afraid to ask, fearing her friend's interest was nothing more than teenage curiosity. So Santana had emotionally shut down in response, pushing those feelings back into a dark corner of her heart, denying her true feelings for Brittany even to herself. It was only recently that those feelings were uncovered, and the young Latina could not hold them back any longer.
"I'm just so angry about it all," Santana revealed.
"I can understand that," Brittany validated, "He had no right to attack you like he did."
"Now he's walking around school like some big shot…and nobody knows what a monster he really is…."
"It's not too late to tell an adult about what happened."
Santana nodded, feeling some relief from giving voice to her thoughts. "I just feel like they'll find some way to blame me," she admitted, "…with my history and all."
"Can I ask you something though?" The blonde cautioned, "I mean…you don't have to answer if you feel uncomfortable."
The brunette looked across to the warm blue eyes of the one she loved most in the world and nodded.
"Had you slept with him…before, I mean…?" Brittany felt odd asking the question, but Santana had not mentioned anything specific to her about dating Karofsky which was unusual since the brunette told her every other detail about her life.
Santana sighed and shook her head, "No way!"
Brittany felt confused, knowing Santana had announced to the Glee Club members that she was "in love" with Dave and knowing Santana slept with every guy she dated and many she hadn't actually dated.
"I don't get it…," she told the brunette.
"Dave is gay, Britt."
Brittany pondered that revelation a moment. "Then…why were you dating him?"
"Because…I'm gay too. We were covering for each other."
"Why, Tan…?" the young blonde asked sweetly, "You don't need a cover…you're awesome just the way you are."
Santana had heard that sentiment before from Brittany. She wasn't sure what kept her from truly believing it. "But…you won't be with me…," she said quietly.
"What makes you think that?" Brittany couldn't understand Santana's continued self-doubt.
There was a stillness in the room. Santana's emotions were too strong for the young brunette to hold back, tears started to stream down her face.
"Santana…," Brittany wanted her to trust her enough to open up further. She slid into the chair next to the slender Latina and put her arms around her in a tight embrace.
Santana immersed herself in the feeling of Brittany's body pressed against hers. She wanted to remember the warmth and softness of the blonde's body, stamping out the memory she had of the brutal attack against her. "I wanted you to kiss me Friday night," she confessed cautiously, "…when you followed me into that classroom."
Brittany looked into Santana's dark brown eyes, "Why didn't you kiss me?"
"You already know what I feel for you, Britt," she explained, "I didn't want to push anything with you that I wasn't sure you felt too."
"I love you, Santana. That will never…ever…change. I just want you to be honest with yourself…and everyone around you." Brittany wasn't sure what to do to make Santana be more bold about their feelings, "I tried to get you to go to prom with me and you wouldn't."
"That was a public thing…," she defended.
"Do your feelings for me change when we're in public?" Brittany's logic tended to be more simplistic.
Santana paused to realize what her best friend was asking, "No…never."
"You told me you want to be with me…right?"
"Definitely…."
"Then…what's stopping you?"
Santana focused her gaze deeply into the blonde's bright blue eyes. She saw the love there that she'd hoped for so long to see. She leaned in and kissed Brittany gently on her lips. Brittany had kissed Santana many times before, but the kiss from Santana at this moment was delicate, vulnerable. The tall blonde returned the kiss, deepening the contact, trying to dispel any doubt the brunette might still have.
Santana broke the kiss first, her heart pounding in her chest as she pulled her head away slightly from Brittany's, trying to find her breath again. "Why does this feel so different from before?" she asked meekly.
"Because…it means so much more this time?" the blonde girl surmised.
Santana laid her cheek against Brittany's and ran her hand tenderly along her love's jaw line, tracing every inch of it. Brittany's physical closeness was what Santana craved right now. Brittany shifted in the oversized chair, allowing Santana to nestle closer into her body, savoring the most intimacy she'd shared with the brunette. To Brittany, nothing could be more perfect than the present, and she made a silent wish that time would simply stop.