Her Smile Heals Me (part 3)
Emma Pillsbury started her Wednesday morning the way she did every school morning with straightening her informational pamphlets on various topics helpful for the teenagers who visited her office. The red-haired guidance counselor always found it best to let the students come to her with their questions rather than pressuring them to speak outside their comfort zone. She had an open door policy which she hoped encouraged open dialogue with the students. Ironically, as guidance counselor, Emma was ill-equipped to field most difficult topics like teen pregnancy or sexually-transmitted diseases with which she was sometimes approached, because Emma held an awkward secret that not many knew about. She was a virgin…still. Will Shuester knew her secret. Emma had strong feelings for the Glee Club's attractive director, and the two of them had tried dating which only led to awkwardness. She knew privately that she maintained strong feelings for Will, but she was unsure if the two of them would ever be able to align.
Her careful organizing was interrupted with a knock on her office door. When she looked up, she saw Quinn Fabray through the glass panel and motioned her to come in.
"Ms. Pillsbury, do you have a moment?"
"Yes, Quinn…come in," Emma replied with a smile, "Have a seat."
Quinn sat in one of the two chairs across from Ms. Pillsbury's desk and crossed her legs at the knee.
"I haven't talked to you in awhile, Quinn…to what do I owe this honor?"
"Well, I have a question…on a more serious topic, I guess…," the blonde beauty hesitated, "and…I guess I'm looking for…an adult's opinion."
"Oh…well, in that case…ask away…," the guidance counselor shifted nervously in her seat.
"This isn't about me personally…I have a…friend…who is in a…situation…," Quinn was unsure about where to begin.
"Oh, a friend…absolutely. Not you, got it," Emma played along.
"No really, this is about a friend of mine…" Quinn emphasized.
"Right…continue."
"Ok, here's the deal…how do you know when circumstances are serious enough that you might need to tell an adult even though telling would…really…upset your friend?"
"How serious are we talking about, Quinn?"
The former Cheerio captain paused, torn as to how much detail to give out. "Criminal."
"Is this about Puck?" Emma asked.
"No…not this time," the blonde smiled.
"Well, if your friend is participating in illegal activity then it is probably better to help end these circumstances before they get deeper into trouble."
"I mean, what if…this friend…were a victim of this activity?"
"Oh," Emma moved the stapler on her desk a half-inch to the right then she straightened her mouse pad a little higher on the left corner then looked back again at Quinn, "is your friend being abused or something like that?"
"Something kind of like that."
"Quinn, if your friend is being physically harmed then you have a moral obligation to help them."
"Well, that's why I'm coming to you, Ms. Pillsbury," Quinn responded. "I know what my head says…but…," she trailed off as her voice grew shaky.
"Is this…friend…at McKinley, Quinn?"
The former Cheerios captain drew a deep breath.
"I'll take that as a yes."
"She begged me not to tell anyone." Quinn was visibly apprehensive about giving out additional details.
"I understand. Will you at least tell me the what if not the who?"
Quinn paused. Emma could see the wheels turning behind the intelligent, green eyes.
"Rape…," Quinn revealed, "Date rape, to be exact."
Emma was taken aback. "Quinn…were you raped?"
"No. Seriously, Ms. Pillsbury, I'm worried about my friend."
"Is the attacker also at this school?"
"Yes," Quinn answered, "but…my friend won't acknowledge or talk about it at this point."
"Well then…um…," Emma was definitely being pulled outside her comfort zone, "to answer your original question…as an adult…I would recommend to you to focus on getting your friend some professional help." She took out a business card from her desk drawer and looked down at the name. It had the name of her personal therapist printed in blue block letters, the therapist who had recently helped her make great strides with her own battle with OCD. She pushed the card across the top of the desk until it stopped short of the edge on the other side. "This doctor is a woman, and she is very caring and easy to talk with. Perhaps your friend would feel comfortable talking with a neutral person."
Quinn picked up the card to look at it closer. "Thank you."
"I think it is equally important to prevent this from happening to other young girls, Quinn, so if you know that someone at this school is a danger to others then I implore you to let me or Principal Figgins know."
"I understand…really, I do, and I will certainly keep that in mind," Quinn assured her, standing to leave. She tucked the business card into a small pocket on the front of her skirt and turned back around as she opened the office door, "Thank you, Ms. Pillsbury. Sincerely."
Emma looked at her with her large brown eyes and nodded then looked back to the top of her desk and moved her stapler a half-inch back to the left.
Brittany opened the door to her locker, smiling broadly when she saw the small picture of herself with Santana she'd taped earlier in the morning on the inside of the narrow door. She still felt tingles from spending time with the Latina beauty the night before. Her memory took her back to the kiss the two shared in Brittany's bedroom. Santana had been so tender, her feelings so exposed. It was a beautiful thing…the tall blonde swooned inwardly.
"Hey, you…," a familiar voice from behind her pulled Brittany from her musings. She turned toward it and unintentionally frowned in disappointment, seeing it was Artie.
"Hey, Artie…."
"Happy Hump Day," he smiled.
"Huh?" she was distracted with her thoughts of Santana.
"It's the "hump" in the week…you know, the middle…," he tried explaining but seeing no amusement, he said quietly, "…Nevermind."
Brittany laughed awkwardly. "I'm sorry, Artie. I was thinking about…a project for…History class."
"Right…I understand." He wheeled back his chair, feeling dejected, then decided to try again, remembering Puck's "power attitude" instructions. "So…I would really like for us to stay friends. You're very important to me, Brittany."
"Totally, Artie…we will," she smiled at him.
Feeling encouraged, he suggested, "How about a friendly dinner tonight? Breadstix?"
"Oh, I can't tonight." She and Santana made plans to study together.
"Tomorrow night?"
"I'm sorry, Artie." The blonde felt a twinge of guilt, crinkling her nose as she saw his face fall in disappointment.
As if on cue, Santana walked up to the pair. "Hey."
Artie watched as the face of the tall blonde brightened immediately. "I'm going to go now."
After Artie wheeled away, Santana turned to Brittany, "What's his problem?"
"Huh? Oh…nothing. How are you feeling this morning? You look flushed," Brittany felt Santana's forehead with the back of her hand then tucked a wayward lock of raven hair behind the Latina's ear. "You're very warm, Santana."
"Yeah, I'm not feeling well today."
"I think you have a fever…you should have the nurse check."
"I'm ok. I have a doctor's appointment scheduled for this afternoon," she lowered her voice.
"That's great, Santana," the blonde was relieved.
"It's after school…would you maybe…go with me?"
"Of course, I will," she took the brunette by the hand, "whatever you feel comfortable with."
"I should get to Spanish," Santana said as she looked around the hall, noticing it was emptying. She reached up as subtly as her feelings would allow and caressed Brittany on the cheek and smiled then mouthed the words, "I love you," before walking away.
Brittany leaned back against her closed locker door, her heart fluttering. Ok, Santana…it's a start.
The choir room was abuzz with laughter and conversation as the bell rang, signaling the start of class. Brittany stepped down to the bottom row of chairs to sit next to Santana. The blonde teen noticed the Latina was subdued, sitting quietly in her seat with her hands folded in her lap. Brittany leaned over and whispered, "Are you ok?"
Santana nodded weakly.
"Ok, class…quiet down please," Will Shuester requested as he walked in from his attached office and wrote the word "Emotions" in black ink on the dry-erase board at the front of the classroom. He pointed back at the board behind him, "This is our focus, guys. We are tapping into the raw emotions that are inside each of you. If we can bring those to the surface and put them into our selections at Nationals then we are unstoppable."
"Mr. Shuester," a hand shot up in the second row.
"Yes, Rachel…," he took a deep breath.
"Since we have decided to perform original songs again at Nationals," she began cheerfully, "I wanted to announce the 1st annual Nationals-song-writing party to convene at my house this Saturday at 4pm sharp."
Her announcement was greeted with groans and heavy sighing from the others. Her smile faded, "Chips and dips will be provided."
"I think that's a fantastic idea, Rachel!" Will tried to provide needed encouragement, "Right, class?"
A variety of unenthusiastic "yeah, ok" and "sure, Mr. Shue" responses followed. "Ok, great – thank you, Rachel." Will clasped his hands together, "Let's move on. Who is up today for their solo?"
"I'll go, Mr. Shue," Artie volunteered.
"Excellent, Artie…what song will you be singing for us?"
He adjusted his thick, brown eye-glasses on his nose then pushed his wheelchair toward the piano. "I had a selection…but after recent developments…I have opted to make a last-minute change," he explained, handing sheet music to Brad, the ever-present accompanist sitting at the piano.
Brad looked over the pages and nodded to the young teen in the wheelchair as he turned himself to face his classmates. As Will took a seat among the Glee Club members, he heard Artie say sadly, "This is dedicated to Brittany."
The piano music started slowly, playing the haunting notes of "Goodbye My Lover" by James Blunt, as Artie joined in song:
Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes, I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right…
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care,
You touched my heart you touched my soul,
You changed my life and all my goals…
The mood in the choir room quickly turned awkward as Artie poured his heart into his rendition of the gut-wrenching ballad, the Glee group squirming uncomfortably in their chairs and casting side-glances to each other. Brittany understandably looked most distressed. She looked over at Santana for strength, causing the corners of her mouth to turn upward unintentionally into a smile.
Santana pulled her knit jacket tightly around her body and lowered her head. She could feel that her internal temperature was continuing to rise but a deep chill washed over her. She could hear musical notes and muffled singing, but the light in the classroom was slowly starting to fade around her.
Artie continued, undeterred by the rising tension in the room:
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me…
His closed eyes shot open as he heard screams fill the room, ending his solo as the piano stopped.
"Santana!" Brittany was on the floor of the choir room holding the unconscious brunette.
Will reached the bottom of the risers first as the group encircled the fallen teen. He saw the panic on Brittany's face. "Santana?" he said softly as he tried to revive her.
"I'll go get the nurse," Tina said.
"See if Ms. Pillsbury is in her office too, Tina," Mr. Shuester instructed.
Quinn knelt down beside Brittany and felt the face of the unresponsive Latina, "She's burning up!"
"Mr. Shue…should we call 911?" Puck asked.
Will looked down at the pale, limp teen as he drew in a worried breath, "Yes…let's do."
Kurt was at the water fountain, filling a cone-shaped paper cup, when a hand stroked his shoulders from behind.
"Hey, I got your voice message. They told me at the nurse's station that some of you guys were in here," Blaine said.
Kurt smiled at his unexpected arrival. "We haven't heard anything yet."
The two of them moved toward two empty chairs in the waiting-room of the Lima Memorial Hospital and sat down. Blaine took one of Kurt's hands in his and squeezed it in support.
Quinn was sitting on a nearby couch with her arm gently draped around Brittany's shoulders. "She was supposed to see her doctor this afternoon," Brittany whispered to the shorter blonde beauty.
Quinn squeezed Brittany's shoulder in silent fortitude.
"I found some lukewarm coffee down the hall," Will said, coming back in the room and sitting next to Emma Pillsbury, "I'd be happy to get you a cup…if you don't mind it black."
"No, but thank you," Emma replied, "besides, you don't know how long it's been sitting there and how many people have touch it." Emma inwardly quivered at the thought.
Returning from the restroom, Rachel Berry walked over to Brittany, "I just passed the doctor talking with Mr. and Mrs. Lopez. I heard her tell them Santana's being moved to a room."
"Mr. Shue? Can you find out more information?" Puck asked from a corner chair.
"Yeah…let me see what I can find out," he tossed his styrofoam cup in a nearby trash bin as he left the waiting room.
Emma stood up too and said nervously, "I'll go with you."
Rachel sat down on the couch on the other side of Brittany, putting her arm around both blondes as far as her petite frame would allow, "She'll be okay."
After several minutes past, Will and Emma returned with Mrs. Lopez and a female doctor.
"Puck, Kurt, Blaine…" he addressed the teen boys directly, "come with me please. Let's go find the others."
Once the guys cleared the room, Emma turned to the girls who remained, "Girls, Mrs. Lopez and Dr. Reed need your help."
Mrs. Lopez swallowed hard before speaking, her voice shaking, "Brittany, what can you tell us about what happened to Santana?"
The tall blonde froze under the direct questions, her head spinning with Santana's voice begging her not to say anything about Karofsky mixed with flashes of images of Santana bruised and bloodied then laying unconscious in her arms. Fresh tears streamed down Brittany's face. Rachel pulled her closer.
"Girls," the doctor began, "it's clear Santana has suffered recent trauma. If you have information that can assist us in treating her, I urge you to be forthcoming."
Quinn whispered, "Britt, we can't keep this up any longer," into Brittany's ear and squeezed her hand then looked up at Mrs. Lopez and said, "Santana was raped Friday night."
Rachel gasped softly.
Mrs. Lopez sniffed and wiped tears from her eyes with her crumpled tissue, "Why didn't she tell us? I don't understand."
Brittany crossed her arms in her lap, bending at the waist to bury her face.
"She was just so scared, Mrs. Lopez," Quinn responded, "We just…we couldn't force her to say anything."
"Well, thank you for your honesty, girls," Mrs. Lopez caressed the top of Brittany's head, seeing how anguished the teen was.
Dr. Reed squeezed Mrs. Lopez's shoulder, "We'll contact the authorities then they will get official statements from everyone involved." The doctor turned to leave but first said, "As soon as they have her settled in a room, you and Dr. Lopez can see her."
"Wait! Don't we get to know what's wrong with her?" Rachel asked.
Dr. Reed looked for a reaction from Mrs. Lopez who nodded permission to reveal the details. "Santana's temperature was nearly 105 when she arrived in the ER. She has a severe infection…from…," the doctor hesitated with her wording, shifting uncomfortably, "…lacerations…which occurred."
Brittany unintentionally gasped then buried her face again.
"We're giving her a strong course of antibiotics and steroids intravenously which should help quickly," Dr. Reed explained.
Quinn turned toward Santana's mother, "We're very sorry."
Dr. Reed smiled kindly and left with Mrs. Lopez.
Silence hung in the room after the two women departed. Emma saw guilt in the eyes of both blonde teens. She knew now that Santana was the friend Quinn came to her about.
"Quinn, you tried to help her," Emma encouraged the crestfallen duo, "Please don't be too hard on yourselves. It's never black and white when trying to navigate this type of situation."
The shorter blonde nodded and wiped at her wet eyes.
"Girls, we have another issue here," Emma narrowed her eyes, "We have someone dangerous at our school so you need to tell me who did this to Santana."
The blondes looked at each other then looked down, both of them visibly shivering with the overwhelming emotions that had been building since Friday night.
Rachel thought back to the fear on Santana's face in the girls' restroom. "It was Karofsky," Rachel volunteered.
The blondes looked at the brunette, unsure of how she knew. Emma looked at Quinn for confirmation. Quinn nodded.
"Ok, stay here please…I'll be back in a little while." Emma left to find Will.
Brittany's thoughts went to Santana, not knowing what would happen now that the truth was out. This is going to be agonizing for her…she privately worried. She wished she could shelter Santana from having to deal with any of it. Her thoughts broke to the surface as an uncontrollable sob.
Quinn and Rachel held her tightly from both sides, letting her emotions drain out.
"Is there anything I can get for you?" Quinn asked once the taller blonde calmed.
"No…the only thing I need is for Santana to be better," Brittany responded.
"Brittany…Santana loves you so much…," Rachel confirmed, pulling a fresh tissue from her pocket and wiping at her tear-streaked face, "…pull strength from that, ok?"
"I still can't believe this is even happening," Brittany cried.
"She's in good hands, Britt," Quinn told her.
"Hi," Mercedes said as she set down her book bag and sat in a chair next to Sam.
The handsome blond grinned widely.
Quinn was on the top row of the risers, immersed in a book. She didn't even notice that Finn walked in.
"Hey, are you ever going to talk to me again?" he asked her.
The green-eyed beauty looked up from her reading, "Yes."
"Oh…good," he sounded surprised.
"I've just had a lot on my mind this week."
"So…you're not mad anymore?"
"Mad? No…," she drew a distinction, "Conflicted? Yes."
"What does that mean?"
She lowered her voice and leaned toward him, "Finn, you'll always be my first love, but…"
"…but…what?" he sounded confused.
"I don't want to settle."
"Is that what you're doing with me?" he asked with a hurt tone.
"I think that's what you're doing with me actually," she said sadly. "I want to find somebody who is as in to me as I am into him. I want the fairy tale, Finn."
He swallowed hard, knowing she spoke the truth.
"Your heart is elsewhere…," she said matter-of-factly as she turned to look at Rachel who was talking with Kurt and Tina, "so…I think that's where all of you should be."
Finn looked toward Rachel. Her smile as she chatted with her friends made him feel warm inside, causing him to unintentionally smile too. He caught himself and cast a side-glance toward Quinn who simply looked back down at her book.
"Ok, class…let's gather around," Will Shuester said, walking into the choir room as the bell rang. "I think we're all distracted today with thoughts of Santana…so let's postpone any more solos for now."
"Good idea, Mr. Shue," Mercedes said sadly.
"Mr. Shue, have you heard anything from Brittany?" Tina asked.
"I spoke with her briefly," he confirmed, "she said there was no significant change."
"Mr. Shue, if I may…," Rachel's hand shot up.
"Yes, Rachel…go ahead." Will took in a deep breath as the rest of the class sighed heavily.
Rachel stood and stepped to the front of the choir room, turning to address the room. "I wanted to see if maybe we could take up a collection…to get Santana some flowers?"
"I think that's a wonderful idea, Rachel…let me be the first to contribute," he responded, pulling his wallet from his back pocket. He felt guilty for automatically assuming something selfish from the young brunette.
"Yeah, Rachel…I'm impressed," Puck said, grabbing the black fedora off the top of Mike Chang's head, flipping it upside down and tossing a ten-dollar bill into the hat before handing it back to him. He cheerfully dropped some cash in the hat and handed it to Tina. The hat passed person to person until Sam leaned over and passed it to Artie who paused momentarily, thinking of Brittany. His heart still ached over losing her as his girlfriend. His thoughts then turned to Santana; he was jealous of Santana's hold over Brittany. He had been so angry lately that he'd wished bad things on the Latina, and now, he felt incredibly guilty that she was ill. He fished in the side pocket on his pants and pulled out all the cash he had, and with a deep settling breath, he placed it in the hat and reached forward to hand it to Will.
"Thank you, everyone…this is very generous," Will complimented the Glee Club members, "I know this will help Santana know how important she is to the group."
Brittany shifted in the chair in which she was sitting, looking up as a nurse in light blue scrubs entered.
"Hi, I'm Evelyn…I'm starting the evening rotation," she smiled and wrote her name and a four-digit extension on a small dry-erase board on the wall of Santana's hospital room. "I'll be taking care of Ms. Lopez through tonight so if anyone needs anything or has any questions, just dial that extension and it will page me." She took a clip board off the end of the hospital bed and flipped several pages, reading over Santana's chart, then she walked over to the machine that was monitoring her blood pressure, pulse and other vitals, pushing different buttons and writing numbers on the top page.
"I'm Brittany." The blonde watched the nurse through weary eyes, pulling a long leg up underneath her in the hard chair while stretching her arms and popping her stiff neck.
"There's no getting comfortable in those chairs is there?" Evelyn asked jovially.
"No, not really," Brittany responded.
"Have you been here all day?"
"Yes."
"I was on rotation last night too when they moved her in here. I've worked with Dr. Lopez for many years," she volunteered as she checked the connection on the wires going from the machine to Santana, "I know this must be so hard on them to see their child so sick."
"Yeah, they were here earlier but went home to eat and rest awhile," Brittany told her.
"You're a good friend to stay with her," Evelyn smiled and patted the tall blonde on the shoulder as she moved around her.
"I can't leave her," Brittany looked sadly at the sedated Latina.
"Her temperature is coming down…102.6…that's good," the nurse marked it in the chart, "…those antibiotics are working."
Brittany smiled and took Santana's hand. "Do you know how long her doctor will keep her on the sedation?"
"I'm not sure, honey…Santana's been through a lot…it's important for her body to rest so she can fight this infection," Evelyn reassured her. "I'm sure she feels your presence though. It's amazing the things patients tell us they remember hearing and feeling while under."
"Yeah, that's what Dr. Lopez told me too."
"Ok, Miss Brittany…like I said, if you need anything, you just let me know," the kind nurse said, hanging the clipboard back on the end of Santana's bed and leaving.
Brittany squeezed Santana's hand again then leaned over and kissed her pale cheek.
There was a light rap on the door before it opened, and Puck walked in carrying a large, clear vase that held a giant bouquet of spring flowers with a silver balloon tied to it that read "Get Well Soon".
"Oh how beautiful!" Brittany smiled widely, taking the vase from him and setting it on a side table.
"They're from the Glee Club," he said proudly, "I asked for pink…cause I know it's her favorite."
"They're perfect," she said, hugging him tightly.
"How's she doing?" he asked softly, looking down at his former girlfriend. He and Santana had a volatile past, but he cared for her deeply and would always have a soft spot for the fiery Latina.
"Better…her fever is coming down so her doctor has been optimistic."
"Good," he sounded relieved, "I brought my guitar like you asked." He set the black case down on the floor.
"Thank you, Puck...do you know the song I texted you?"
"Of course…it's a great choice," he encouraged the blonde with a smile as he unlatched his case and put the guitar strap over his broad shoulder, "I think she would definitely find it healing."
Brittany smiled back at him, appreciative of his support and his willingness to play for her. She'd wanted to do something for her dear friend to let her know she was there, and the blonde had instantly thought of this song when Mr. Shuester made his emotions assignment.
She took a deep breath and pulled the side chair closer to Santana's bed. "Santana, I know this is kind of cheesy…but…I really hope it helps," the tall blonde took the brunette's limp hand in hers and nodded to Puck.
Puck started picking the smooth-flowing chords of the Bob Dylan song Brittany had requested as her soft, trembling voice joined in:
When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I would offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love
When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love…
I know you haven't made your mind up yet
But I would never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met
No doubt in my mind where you belong
I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling down the avenue
There ain't nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love…
The storms are raging on a rolling sea
And down the highway of regret
The winds of change are blowing wild and free
But you ain't seen nothing like me yet…
I could make you happy
Make your dreams come true
There is nothing that I would not do
Go to the ends
Of the Earth for you
To make you feel my love.
A stillness hung in the hospital room as the song ended. Brittany wiped her wet eyes with the end of her long sleeve then kissed Santana's hand and held it to her cheek. She turned and looked at Puck who still stood behind her.
Puck winked at her, and Brittany could read in his face that he knew the full extent of her feelings for Santana.
"Thank you, Puck."
"My pleasure, Britt."