Disclaimers: All media, including Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy, are in fact not mine. All that is mine is probably the execution of the idea.
Well, all I can say about this arc is that I was sincerely bored. And stuck, don't forget stuck.
Besides! Why Xemnas wouldn't pull something like this?
And I have to say this because some of you might not get it: Xemnas likes pop-tarts. This will be explained later.
"I have gathered you all here today for one specifi-" Xemnas starts to say when Axel, Roxas, Xion, Xigbar and Demyx all start booing.
"YOU SUCK!" One of them shouts but in the loud howls of laughter from the rest of the members, it was a bit difficult to tell just who it was.
"I HAVE GATHERED YOU HERE TO TELL YOU SOMETHING IMPORTANT!" Xemnas shouts to make himself be heard.
Then Xion stands up on her impromptu throne, looking more than a little angry.
"I have something important to say too! Dammit, Xemnas, I've asked you more than a bazillion times to let me buy Toaster Strudel! Pop-Tarts are freakin' GROSS!" Xion says to a roar of cheers from the younger Organization members at her open defiance of the Superior.
"You know… considering that this is an inside joke at the moment, Forbidden should really do an arc where we go shopping." Roxas comments to Axel who nods.
"Yeah… Hey, Forbidden, we just got you the idea for the next arc!" He calls out to the ceiling which no one notices because they're too busy cheering for Xion.
"AHEM!" Xemnas clears his throat violently as a sudden chill fills the air and one of his Ethereal Blades suddenly appears and very nearly decapitates Xion who barely managed to duck fast enough as it impales itself on the back portion of her throne.
Everyone is hushed as Xemnas continues his little rant.
"It has come to my attention that some of us, who will not be named, have not been contributing to the Organization's goals. These unnamed persons have given me reason to think-"
"Wait a second! You actually can think?" Xigbar interrupts with a sarcastically shocked tone as the younger members begin to giggle and shift around in their seats.
"Yes, Xigbar. I can think. Starting today, everyone in the Castle will have new missions. Yes, that includes you, Demyx." Xemnas continues as Demyx puts his hand down in disappointment.
"BOO! BOO I SAY! We have enough work as it is!" Axel protests, summoning up his Chakrams in a blast of fire as he prepares to fling them towards the Superior's throne.
"And Axel. You get to use all the fire you want." Xemnas adds in a sly voice. At this, Axel immediately stops.
"Say what?" He asks curiously.
Xemnas chuckles to himself as he leans back in his throne and pulls out a baseball cap that was full of small white envelopes with names on them. He hands it to Xigbar, who was sitting right next to him, and makes a motion for him to take one.
Eventually, the hat's passed around to all of the members who all received one of the envelopes.
"Now, where do we get our revenue from?" Xemnas asks as everyone starts opening up their papers.
"Primarily from the Heartless. We defeat them and take the munny they drop, sir." Zexion recites in a puzzled tone as he stares at his paper.
"Exactly. As a show of good faith, I've gotten you all jobs." Xemnas announces in a proud voice.
At this, everyone starts to shout in protest.
Xemnas snaps his fingers and thirteen Sorcerer Nobodies appear, making everyone freeze in case they decided to attack.
"So… these addresses have to do with our jobs?" Larxene asks, holding out the envelope as if it was a dead roach she had just scraped off of one of her knives.
Xemnas nods.
"That is all. You're to report to those addresses tomorrow morning. And if the first to dare to get yourselves fired… this unfortunate individual will face my wrath and be my personal slave." Xemnas warns before both he and Saïx vanish from their thrones in their own personal Corridor of Darkness.
"YOU SON OF A WHORE!" Axel shouts defiantly the empty throne.
"He can't hear you, dude." Demyx says with a miserable sigh as he eyes his piece of paper sadly.
"I love Xemnas. He's the best Superior ever." Roxas says in a happy voice, smiling with a strange excitement.
Axel turns to look at him and then grabs the envelope, reads the address and turns pale.
"What? You got… this is the address to…" The pyro stammers in shock, looking like he was about to cry.
"Yeah! Isn't it awesome?" Roxas cheers, looking more and more like the excitable Sora than himself.
Watching his comrades fighting amongst themselves about this new development, Xemnas chuckles in excitement.
"Now… this is a chance for them to learn responsibilities and good manners! What a wonderful plan this was, XemJu!" He says excitedly to the little cage on his desk.
The gray hamster inside nods agreeingly and continues to run inside of his exercise wheel, completely not paying attention to his somewhat crazy master.
"Xemnas, I need to ask you something." Saïx asks with some disdain.
"Yes, Saïx. You need to work too. Now, who's a good boy, XemJu? " Xemnas says solemnly as he opens up the cage and starts playing with his pet.
"It isn't something stupid like working in a pet shop, right?" Saïx asks.
Xemnas stops playing with his hamster long enough to shake his head.
"Of course not, Seven. I would never give you such a silly job." He says in his normal voice.
Satisfied, Saïx leaves and Xemnas curses violently, making his hamster flinch.
After a moment, he calms down and smiles.
"After all… it's technically not a pet shop, right? Right. Now, let's go play with Auntie Aqua's armor, my fluffy little friend." Xemnas tells his beloved pet as he vanishes into another Corridor of Darkness, presumably to the Chamber of Repose.
And we have the beginnings of madness.
Yes, Xemnas still has the Superior hamster and he lets it play with Aqua's armor.
Alright, now, this is the bit where I might need some help.
I already have jobs for Axel, Roxas, Xion and Saïx but I might need help thinking up something for... let's say Xigbar.
If you guys have any bright ideas for a job for one of the members, go ahead and say so in your review!
So next week in DATC: The Jobs Are Revealed!
Adios!