Disclaimers: All media, including Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy, are in fact not mine. All that is mine is probably the execution of the idea.
Well, thank you everyone for submitting jobs for Xigbar (Zexion was the other one who got a bunch of requests).
I think I know what I want our beloved Freeshooter to do now.
Yes, this is a bit silly but... the image of Xion in her new job is just too funny for me!
The last twelve members of the Organization met secretly in Xion's room, which happened to be the biggest room in the entire Castle. Each of the members were scattered all over the insanely huge room, each and every single one of them having various degrees of worry on their faces.
The most freaked out one, oddly enough, was Saïx who was constantly looking around nervously as if he was afraid of Xemnas walking in and spotting him conspiring with the other, more devious people in the Organization.
"Okay. Xemnas thinks he can just order us around. I say we have a revolution. I'll go get the guillotine." Xigbar says eagerly as he gets up from Xion's piano.
Everyone glares at him until he sits back down, pouting a little at not having a chance to use his new toy.
"… He's been watching the History channel again, hasn't he?" Axel whispers to Xion who flushes a little and nods. She and Xigbar were TV watching buddies.
"Look, does anyone here really want to work? I know I don't." Larxene says crossly, scowling a little at her co-workers as she manicures her nails with one of her razor sharp Foudre knives.
They all shake their heads in unison and sigh.
"Well, it's not all bad! I have a great job!" Roxas protests but everyone decides to ignore the hyper blonde for now.
"Unless we come up with a better plan, we're gonna have to say hello to the eight to five workday and polyester aprons, my friends." Axel states in a mildly disturbed tone of voice, shivering at the thought of actually having to work for a living.
Everyone else cringes at the thought.
"Well, I shall transcribe our little meeting. That way, we will remember what we come up with." Zexion says as he pulls out his Lexicon and poises ready to write down everyone's munny making schemes ideas.
Xion, who had been oddly silent for most of this meeting, perks up and starts waving her hand wildly in the air.
"What is it?" Marluxia asks her but she keeps waving her hand enthusiastically, looking straight at Axel as she does so.
"Yes, Xion, what is it?" Axel asks finally, chuckling in amusement when the little girl stands up on her bed to wave at him.
"A BAKE SALE! We can have a bake sale!" She exclaims proudly, eagerly looking around at the other members to see their reactions to her idea.
After a few minutes, she wilts back into her seat, looking like she was about five seconds from crying.
"You… don't like it." She says in a choked voice, biting her lip in disappointment.
"No, no, no! We love the plan, Xion!" Axel butts in, looking mildly panicked as Xion begins to sniffle.
"Yeah, it's so good… it's gonna be our backup!" Demyx says cheerfully, grinning encouragingly at her.
"It's too good to waste as the first plan." Lexaeus agrees solemnly.
Everyone stares at the Silent Hero's sudden remark but nod agreeingly.
"Really?" Xion asks in a more cheerful voice, smiling brightly.
"You guys are such wusses." Larxene snaps at Axel who was looking pretty proud at having stopped Xion from crying.
"You look her in the eye and tell that adorable little kid that she won't be having a bake sale. You look her in the eye!" He states calmly.
Larxene glances at Xion who was currently gushing with happiness at her plan being accepted and blushes.
"Goddamn it." She swears, shaking her head in embarrassment.
"I GOT IT!" Roxas suddenly cries out, standing up from his perch on Xion's desk in a proud way.
"VETOED!" Everyone, minus Xion, shouts in unison.
"Hey! You listened to XION'S plan!" Roxas starts to protest angrily when they all suddenly hear a dark chuckle from the doorway.
"Having fun?" Xemnas asks with an unusually cruel grin on his face, instantly freezing everyone in their tracks.
"Hi Superior! We're plotting against you!" Xion calls out, waving happily to him.
Roxas and Axel, in near perfect unison, smack themselves in the forehead.
"Um, Xion? You're not supposed to tell him that." Zexion informs her with a wince. Xion blinks in confusion and nods.
"Uh… We're NOT plotting against you, Superior! We're… having a tea party!" She lies, running over to her shelf, pulling an extremely flowery bonnet from it and jamming it onto Lexaeus' head.
She smiles innocently as she hugs the oversized number V and Lexaeus immediately starts making the gestures that he would make if he had been drinking tea.
"Good grief, I'm gonna have this image burned into my retina for the next five months." Xigbar exclaims, staring at Lexaeus with his remaining eye widened in absolute horror.
"Xion, you're a horrible liar. Xigbar, close your mouth; you'll be letting flies in. Saïx, if you try plotting against me again, I will personally destroy your most prized possession. Yes, I know where that teddy bear is. Lexaeus, take off that hat before I have nightmares for the next month. And as for the rest of you…. You ARE going to start working in the next few chapters and I better not hear any complaints! And I have decided on the punishment for the person who gets fired first; Xigbar, do you remember that maid's dress that you thought it would be hilarious to give me for my birthday?" Xemnas asks calmly.
Everyone turns to look at Xigbar in confusion and he just shrugs.
"Hey, just cause the Authoress didn't write him a birthday special, doesn't mean I didn't give him something. And I thought it was funny!" Xigbar says with a chuckle, remembering the shocked expression on Xemnas's face when he had opened the box.
"… Oh, so that's what we were supposed to do on January 1st." Luxord says, smacking his fist into his palm.
"Anyway… the first person to get fired has to wear the maid's dress for an entire month. No excuses on whether or not it suits you; you'll have to wear it and you'll spend the next month as my personal slave. Now Xion, come with me to your new post." Xemnas calls out and Xion reluctantly follows the Superior out of her room.
"…. Son of a bitch, I knew I should have given him the duck costume." Xigbar complains.
"This is my new job?" Xion demands in horror, staring at the little wooden stand. She looked like she was about to break down into tears.
"Well, you aren't sixteen yet. And you don't even look old enough to be a teenager. So I decided this would be good enough. Now… Here's the lemons, the water, cups, and sugar. Enjoy, XIV." Xemnas says encouragingly, patting the furious little girl on the head and vanishing into a Corridor of Darkness before she could scream in protest.
"I hate you, Mansex! I hate you so much!" Xion sobs as she takes her seat at the impromptu lemonade stand that Xemnas had constructed in a corner of the Gray Room.
Several of the other members, who had secretly followed Xion and Xemnas's path down to the living room, stare at the lemonade stand and start giggling like crazy when Xion flips the small construction paper sign over to show that she was for business.
"That is so goddamn cute!" Axel howls in laughter, looking like he was about to burst a lung from laughing so hard.
"Okay… Okay, I'm going to buy from her." Demyx snickers as he quickly composes a serious expression on his face and pulls out his wallet.
After a few minutes, he's back and absolutely crying with laughter as he holds out a small cup of the uncarbonated yellow soft drink known as lemonade.
"She looks so mad though." Roxas giggles as Xion stares at the five munny piece that Demyx had given her and drops it into a five gallon jar angrily.
"Okay, one of us has to buy from her every day. If not… it'll be just like when she got sugar high from that mocha that you let her drink that one time, Roxas." Axel says, struggling to make his expression totally serious.
The two blondes nod in unison as they glance back into the Gray Room where Xion was already looking bored out of her mind.
"I hope the other jobs aren't as bad as this." Demyx and Roxas declare in unison, already looking worried.
"We're all hoping that, my little blonde friends." Axel says with a wince as he pulls out his envelope and in near perfect unison, the trio vanishes into Corridors of Darkness.
Not a bad job for Xion, eh?
Anyway, what's going to happen next (since Xi Xi's already out of the way) is I'm gonna write each of the member's jobs in reverse order.
So up next... Roxas's New Job: Heaven or Hell?