Author's Note: Chapter 33 is the continuation of the dramatization of the events leading up to Spock experiencing the full effects of the pon farr (Chapter 34). In this chapter, Uhura confronts Spock about his worsening condition. Later, Pike takes Spock to a cabin retreat.
As always, your comments are appreciated.
The Unexpected Visitor
As Uhura arrived at Spock's office, Cadet Goldberg was inputting scores of essay papers he had completed grading for the Vulcan. Spock's Assistant looked up from his screen for a moment to recognize the visitor.
"Hey, Uhura. Haven't seen you for a long while."
"Is Mr. Spock in?"
"Yeah, but he's in the conference room with somebody. And, I don't recall you having an appointment with him."
"You're right. However, I still would like to see him."
"You were his Assistant long enough to know he doesn't like people dropping in on him like this. Now if you want me to schedule a meeting for you, I can get to it in a moment, after I get finished recording this last grade."
"Do you know how long Spock will be with that person?" She said nodding toward the conference room.
"You can never tell when she's with him."
"She? One of his students?"
"No, that Vulcan woman, Ms. T'Lau. Did you ever meet her? She's one of the Project Managers for the construction of the Enterprise."
"Yes." Uhura replied, trying not to betray her contempt for her. "I am familiar with this woman."
Goldberg brought Spock's schedule up on his screen. "All right. Let's see what he has . . . hey . . . what's this?" The Cadet exclaimed.
Uhura moved closer to view Goldberg's computer console.
"Mr. Spock has got everything on his calendar blocked out for the next two days. He didn't even bother to tell me about it." Goldberg complained. "After that we're into the semester break. So, it looks like you're out of luck, Uhura."
"Was he planning on remaining here for the break?"
"I don't know and I'm not likely to ask him either." Goldberg lowers his voice as if trying not to be overheard beyond Uhura. "Lately, it seems you can get on the wrong side of him just for breathing."
"Mr. Spock can be difficult sometimes, Goldberg. But, usually he's all right if you just do your job."
"I'm not exaggerating, Uhura." He commented. "I heard some of his students have even complained about him to the Academy Commandant."
"Have you noticed anything else unusual about him?" The East African inquired.
"Last week, I noticed his hands were shaking a little. I asked him if he was feeling well. And, for showing just a little concern, I swear he almost took my head off."
"Does it seem as if his condition has worsened since that incidence?"
"I have no idea. Since that happened, I don't even try to look at him. I just do my job and try my best not to irritate him. Around Mr. Spock, I see nothing, hear nothing and say nothing."
"What is that suppose to mean?"
"It means it's a good thing this position is going to end when the Enterprise is launched at the end of the semester. I don't think I can take much more of this."
Uhura sat down in a chair across from Goldberg.
"Hey, what are you doing?"
"I'm going to wait to speak with him.
"If you do that, you're going to get me in trouble. I already told you he didn't have any time available for appointments before the semester break."
"Calm down, Goldberg. I'll take the full responsibility for being here."
Spock's Assistant rose up out of his seat and protested, "But he's going to really be pissed off!"
"Goldberg." She said in a quiet tone. "All you're about to do now is disturb his meeting. Is that what you want?"
"Geez, Uhura." He replied between clinched teeth as he flopped back down into his chair.
Behind closed doors in a small conference room, T'Lau looked on as Spock completed his reading of the latest inspection report of the Enterprise engineering system. T'Lau seemed unfazed by the sweat appearing on his brow or the slight, but constant trembling of his hands.
"All appears to be in order." He commented.
"Is that all you have to say, Spock?"
"What more should be said?"
"My team has met or surpassed each of the benchmarks set for us. One of Starfleet's best engineers conducted the inspection himself and certified for completion all but one remaining component of our project."
"I have yet to personally inspect the engineering section for myself."
"It is not necessary."
"I am responsible."
"No one is challenging that fact."
"Then, do not tell me what is necessary." He replied harshly.
"Spock." She called to him in a soothing tone. "You are in no condition to board the Enterprise and conduct an inspection of any length." She reached over and placed her hand on his inner thigh and began to massage it. A slight smile came across her face as his tremors began to dissipate.
"You . . . you must remove your hand." He told her.
"You know you do not wish it."
"My Assistant is in the next room."
"How is that different than the last time?" She cooed.
"My condition . . . "
"Call it what it is, Spock. You know it is the Blood Fever."
"Not able . . . not able to get back to Vulcan. Starfleet would not approve my request."
"Why would they? You heard Vice Admiral Michelson at the last Oversight Committee Meeting. He said the Enterprise must be ready for launch in time for Founders Day. Just think, they've spent five years of planning and are about to waste millions of credits on a week's long of activities commemorating the founding of the Federation." She remarked snidely. "As if the founding of the Federation was something to celebrate."
"Do you forget our people were among the founders?"
"Did not Minister T'Pau turn down a seat on the Federation Council? She understood how worthless it is to support this so-called exercise in interplanetary cooperation."
"Do not dare to speak for T'Pau." Spock snapped as he stood up and moved away from her reach. "Few have been worthy to know her thoughts."
"I had no intent to offend. I was just pointing to her as a prime example of how we should regard the Federation. One day, you will see it will not take much to bring it down."
Spock looked back to T'Lau and admonished her. "I find it difficult to understand how you could make such a naked pronouncement on the fate of an entity from which you draw your compensation."
"Starfleet is more than satisfied with my work. I am sure they have little concern of my personal political views."
Spock stared at the imposter, amazed at her increasingly brazen attitude. Yet, even this sort of attention from him seemed to feed her audacious disposition. He found her once again beside him, making no secret of her willingness to service the Vulcan.
"Will you visit me, tonight?" She asked.
"I must attend to the projects of my Research Assistants."
"No time is too late for your arrival. You know I am always available for you." She stepped closer to him so her lips nearly touched his ear. She whispered. "When the pon farr reaches its fever pitch, you need not fear . . . I will be with you . . . And, we shall ride the fiery wave together . . . it will be glorious, Spock . . . after our union . . . nothing can ever come between us."
The moment Goldberg heard the opening of the conference room door, he immediately jumped to his feet and stood stiffly at attention.
Seeing his Assistant first, Spock asked, "Cadet Goldberg, why have you assumed that ridiculous posture?"
"Spock, it appears you have a visitor." T'Lau observed.
As Uhura rose from her seat, she noticed how T'Lau wore a smug smile while Spock's eyes appeared fixed on Goldberg.
"Sir, I told Cadet Uhura you did not have any time available for an appointment, but she insisted on staying." Goldberg quickly told him.
"He is correct, sir." Uhura spoke up. "Cadet Goldberg advised me of your schedule, but I would not be persuaded to leave without making an attempt to speak with you."
"You must attend to the girl at once, Spock." T'Lau remarked drily as she headed toward the door. Having enjoyed sex with him over the past weeks, she felt no threat from the East African Cadet. "I am sure it is something quite urgent that requires your counsel. I will look forward to seeing you later this evening." She added before walking coolly out the door.
"Leave us." Spock demanded.
Goldberg looked to the East African and added, "You heard what he said, Uhura. He wants you to leave."
"Cadet Goldberg." Spock barked. "You must leave us."
"Me?" He said with surprise. "But sir, she's the one who shouldn't be here. I have 25 minutes left of my shift."
"I am relieving you of your duty."
"You mean, I'm fired, sir?"
"You will be if you do not leave my sight in the next ten seconds."
"OK – so I'm not fired, but you will fire me if I don't . . . "
"3 seconds."
Suddenly realizing the imminence of the deadline, Goldberg grabbed his jacket and almost crashed into the door in his haste to exit.
Spock could not look at her . . .
He could not bear to look at her . . .
And, she . . .
Uhura could see it upon his face . . .
Shame . . .
Embarrassment . . .
She did not understand . . .
Surely, he was aware she knew Spock and T'Lau had resumed their carnal relationship . . .
Why did he now seem so ill-at-ease?
Spock put his hands behind his back to hide them from view. He told her brusquely, "Whatever your business is, be quick about it. My Research Assistants expect me in the physics lab, shortly."
"Spock, I know you are suffering from symptoms related to the Vulcan condition known as the pon farr or blood fever."
For a moment, Spock appeared taken aback by her knowledge. Then, he asked, "Who told you this?"
"No one told me directly you were afflicted with it. I came across information related to it from several sources. Recalling your physical state when I last saw you, it did not take me long to figure out what you are experiencing."
"No . . . Nyota . . . You cannot possibly know that."
Uhura could hear the tortured strain in his voice and witnessed the unnatural rigidity of his body. Yet, she kept calm. She knew she had to keep calm.
"I also found out about your fiancé. I believe her name is T'Pring."
"It appears you have had quite a fruitful day, Nyota." He retorted. "Is that why you have come here? To exact an explanation for this omission?"
"Does it matter, now, Spock? Does it really matter when your life is in danger?"
The look in her eyes was unmistakable . . .
The care . . .
The devotion . . .
The love . . .
Nyota . . .
"I don't understand why you're still at the Academy?" She continued. "Surely, you should be on your way to Vulcan where you can better deal with the effects of your condition."
"I could not obtain the required permission from Starfleet."
"They denied your request despite the dire consequences of not returning to your home planet?"
"I did not share those details with them."
"Why not?"
"How can they understand it?" He shouted ferociously. "How can they understand this thing that strips away all logic so that one is forced to drink from the cup of unbridled passions and brutality?"
Spock suddenly saw how the force and voracity of his words had taken hold Uhura, causing her to shudder. He took a few breaths to quiet himself, before continuing.
Spock told her, "When the pon farr grips you . . . your acts . . . your thoughts . . . are unspeakable."
Uhura took time to reflect for a moment, before she asked, "If it would save your life, couldn't T'Pring travel to Earth? With your father's connections, perhaps a fast transport could be secured for a timely arrival."
"Neither T'Pring or I have ever been interested in consummating the marriage contract. From the time our union was artificially forged nothing grew between us, but stale air and distance. Under the circumstance, she would see this as a fortuitous opportunity."
"How could this possibly be viewed as a fortuitous opportunity?"
"The customs regarding the pon farr are primarily designed to protect the male. For T'Pring, there are few options for her to legally nullify the agreement and they would all involve my death."
"I can't believe she would risk you not surviving this ordeal just so she could be free of you."
"You must not be so hard on her, Nyota. All things considered, her decision is quite logical."
"Logical? Spock, how can you say that when it may mean . . . " Uhura stopped her tongue. She was not yet ready to resign to despair. She looked to Spock determined to find the right answer. "Has the Academy brought in a specialist to help you lessen the severity of the syndrome's possible effects?"
"Through the Academy clinic, I have been under a physician's care for the last three weeks." He said, in an attempt to quiet her fears.
"Are you talking about McCoy? Shouldn't you be under the care of a Vulcan doctor?"
"It may appear strange to you, but for various cultural reasons research regarding the pon farr has not been a priority among the Vulcan medical establishment. As for Dr. McCoy, his bedside manner may be questionable, but he is a noted xenologist and has expended quite a bit of effort to address this issue in a comprehensive manner. He has prescribed various drug regimens for me as well as holistic options to ease the effects of the symptoms."
"Has he been able to retard the syndrome's progress?"
Her earnest eyes shone brightly before him. He could not lie to her, but neither could he tell her the truth. Starfleet had found his relationship with T'Lau to be too valuable to allow his return to Vulcan. While he had not, yet, identified the target of her plot, he had been able to uncover information leading to the detection of co-conspirators that may have otherwise remained hidden for years to come.
The Blood Fever had now progressed to the point where there was not enough time to take the trip to Vulcan even if granted permission to do so. The pon farr would soon take hold of him and - despite T'Lau's expressed desires - he would not denigrate this sacred rite by becoming intertwined with her body. He would not sully his own essence by allowing her to touch him in the most intimate way known to Vulcan. So, over the past week, Spock prepared himself for the two most likely outcomes of the full manifestations of the pon farr - his death or an irrevocable descent into madness.
During periods of greatest lucidity, Spock methodically put his professional life in order. The Vulcan updated his will, assigning most of his property and monetary wealth to various charities. The notable exception was his teashop to which he named Diarmuid as the sole proprietor. He also created a list of those he recommended to take over his courses, as well as, serve as Interim Physical Science Chair while a search would take place for his replacement. Finally, he identified his most promising Research Assistant to shepherd the work of his Academy peers.
As for his personal life, he wondered, What could he leave for those who meant the most to him...Jack, Captain Pike, Amanda, Sarek...and Nyota...especially, Nyota? But, as he approached death, he struggled with this question. How to find the words to express to them...to show them...to tell them...everything that was in his heart? Perhaps, he thought solemnly, the most fitting testament would be to leave these relationships the way I had treated my own life...unfinished.
Uhura asked, again, "Spock, has Dr. McCoy been able to slow the progress of the condition?"
The Vulcan took the East African into his eyes knowing he may never see her, again. And, he knew, he could not leave her this way. He told her, "Dr. McCoy estimates the condition will run its course in the next 7-10 days. When that occurs, I will be free of it. He is sure of this."
"Run its course? But . . ."
He interrupted her, saying. "All is well, Nyota."
Yet, the Vulcan knew . . .
He did not deserve this . . .
He did not deserve her concern . . .
He did not deserve her forever resilient devotion . . .
He did not deserve her love . . .
"All is well, Nyota." He repeated, trying to coax the last bit of skepticism from her face.
"Sometimes, Spock, I think you missed your calling." She remarked still trying to convince herself of the truth of his statement. "You should have been an attorney with that poker face and the way you use or should I say co-opt words."
"Have I not suffered enough without this added insult?" He quipped. And, when she smiled, his eyes held her for as long as he could in order to take this sweet memory with him.
"Hands, please." She commanded.
Knowing the tremors had not yet subsided, he tried to refuse her but she was steadfast with her demand.
"Right now, Mister." She told him sternly.
Reluctantly, he raised his trembling hands before him and with no hesitation she brought her cool hands over him and took hold of the Vulcan. And, when she raised her face up to his, there was no look of pity but of joyous compassion.
"Indulge this one act from me, Spock."
He could not refuse her . . .
The Vulcan watched as she closed her eyes . . .
And, she prayed . . .
She prayed for him with all of her heart . . .
He did not deserve this . . .
Spock knew he did not deserve this . . .
But her love was unconditional . . .
It could not be denied . . .
And, he realized . . .
All she required of him was a willingness to receive it . . .
But he could not . . .
He would not . . .
Ask her to perform the one act that might save his life . . .
For to do so, might put her own life in danger . . .
And her life was too precious . . .
It was much too precious to risk simply to save himself . . .
Once more he needed to push her away . . .
So, when she ended her prayer, he withdrew his hands. And, he looked into her serene face and told her coolly, "So, did the performance of that ritual make you feel better?"
But, he was no match for the power she held in her soul . . .
Uhura walked away from the Vulcan to pick up the bag she had left on the chair and then headed toward the door. Just before she exited, she turned back to him.
"All is well, Spock?" She said, recalling his words before adding her warning, "Let that be the first and last time you ever lie to me."
Uhura's Love
Back at the bar, Dr. Leonard "Bones" McCoy picked up his drink and downed it in one gesture.
"Looks like I may have to be the one to take you home." Uhura said. "I'm still nursing my first alcoholic drink, but you've now had three shots in two hours."
"I'm having second thoughts about giving you access to the lion's den."
"If it's the only way to save his life, I've got to do it. You said yourself it is the right thing to do."
"I said that about breaking your relationship with Kirk. This other matter is far too risky and unpredictable."
"Captain Pike gave his approval of the plan."
"Pike may be a friend of Spock's, but he's also a career officer in Starfleet. He would be willing to try anything to save the life of such a valuable asset to the service. Even if that means sacrificing you to the cause."
"Pike is not forcing me to do this. Remember, I'm the one who came to you and asked if it were possible. With the differences in Vulcan and human physiology, I was not sure if being with me would make a difference."
"Much of the information I've read of this damn fever is anecdotal. However, the condition appears to be both physiological and psychological. Ordinarily, the effected person experiences an overwhelming compulsion to return to Vulcan and reconcile the psycho/hormonal imbalance by mating with his intended bride. However, something is keeping him here and we think that variable may be you."
"I just hope I can give him a chance."
"You know it's not going to be like it is in the movies with rose petals, soft music and incense. And, when you see Spock, you may not recognize the man of reason he once was, if he is in the throes of the blood fever. In this state, he will not take the time for foreplay or engage in tender intimacies before the main event."
"I'm under no delusions, Leonard. I know the sex may be a little rough."
"A little rough? You need to think, again, Uhura. With this being your first time, the initial entry will almost be unbearable with no prior stimulation to provide the proper lubrication. The sex will most likely be intense from the beginning. You can bet he won't be gentle or be sensitive to cues from you to stop or adjust his performance to accommodate your comfort. Bruising and, perhaps, the tearing of internal tissue may result."
"How long will he be possessed by the pon farr?"
"Mind you, I am sure there will be respites. However, this phase of the syndrome appears to last between eight to ten hours . . . if you're lucky."
"What happens after the sex?" She asked, trying to hold anxieties at bay. "Will he return to . . . normal?"
"The information on this period is almost non-existent. The male appears to be highly protective of the couple's privacy for 3-5 days following the initial sexual contact. However, I have no knowledge as to what occurs during this time."
Uhura somberly picked up her glass and drank from it. She cast down her eyes, as she set it back on the tabletop.
"Still, want to go through with this, Uhura?" McCoy asked.
"I'd be a liar if I said I wasn't scared." She then raised her eyes to meet the doctor's. "But, I will do this."
"Don't rid yourself of that fear, Uhura." Bones advised. "If you find you can't go through with this, you need to back out before you reach the door of the cabin. 'Cause in his present state, once he is aware of your scent, you won't have time to react or the ability to fight him off."
Uhura nodded and quipped. "I'll be sure to wear my track shoes."
McCoy smiled at her attempt to find humor in the situation. He knew of no other woman like her . . . so brave . . . so generous . . . so constant. McCoy wondered if the Spock had the capability of matching the depth of Uhura's love. Was it possible for any man?
Hope Not Lost
As Captain Christopher Pike piloted the SkyCar toward the mountain retreat located high in the Sierra Mountains, few words passed between him and his Vulcan friend. With eyes seemingly glazed over and his clothes becoming wet with his perspiration, Spock's embarrassment with his state grew by each second. Still, during the 90-minute trip, Pike attempted to break the silence with information about their destination.
"The cabin is isolated, yet, you can easily contact me or Dr. McCoy if you need either one of us as we will be staying less than five minutes away by SkyCar. Of course, the bio-monitor chip he imbedded under your arm will alert the doctor if your bio-readings warrant immediate medical attention."
Spock stared stoically ahead, unresponsive to the Captain's words. Although a layman, Pike could tell the symptoms of the pon farr had advanced quite rapidly over the last 48 hours. He knew he risked Uhura's life by sending her into Spock's cabin in an attempt to meet the Blood Fever's nearly insatiable sexual demands. Yet, Spock was much too valuable to Starfleet not to allow it. Uhura was not nearly the first service member he had sanctioned to undergo a mission with potentially fatal consequences. Pike felt he could not let that affect his decision in this case.
With the cabin finally in sight, Pike prepared the SkyCar for landing. After setting the vehicle down, Pike and Spock stepped out unto a snow-laden path that led to the cabin. Carrying Spock's garment bag, Pike opened the door and manually turned on the lights with a dimmer switch. The illumination revealed an interior with simple earth-toned furnishings. Carrying a small bag of personal items and ka'athyra (1) case, a solemn Spock followed the Captain as they walked through the living room and into the master bedroom.
Pike informed him, "You'll find the kitchen is well-stocked. There are plenty of towels and extra linens if needed. The bathroom even has a sunken tub if you would like to fill it with cool water to make you feel more comfortable."
As the Vulcan began to set down his belongings on the bed, he observed, "It was foolish of me to bring the ka'athyra. Captain, you must give it to Jack. He has often remarked about wanting to learn how to play it." The Vulcan extended the ka'athyra case to Pike. "I will send you the names of two reputable teachers who I believe will be well suited for this task."
Pike had seen the look before. Spock wore the expression of a man prepared for his imminent death. There seemed to be no fight left within him, only acceptance.
Damn that Vulcan logic! Pike cursed to himself. Spock, don't give up so f**king easily!
"You'll have to give the instrument to him yourself." Pike told him. "I recall Jack specifically asking for you to be his teacher. I am sure he will accept nothing less."
Spock did not take his eyes from the Captain as he set down the ka'athyra case and removed his jacket, revealing a shirt already soaked through with his perspiration. Clasping his trembling hands behind him, the Vulcan gave a slight bow with head and then told his friend, "Good-bye, Captain."
Without waiting for a response, Spock picked up his bag and went into the bathroom closing the door behind him.
You may have given up,Spock.Pike said to himself. But, I'm not.
The Captain picked up the garment bag, deciding he would hang up its contents in the closet before leaving the cabin. Holding onto the top of the lone hanger, he unzipped the bag and removed what Pike recognized as a pelal – a long, white ceremonial robe used for meditation. Yet, adorned with golden embroidery on the collar and sleeves, this vestment seemed to be more ornate than the one Pike had ever seen Spock wear.
Then . . .
As the Captain raised up the robe to hang it in the closet . . .
The garment opened just enough for him to notice something else also occupied the hanger . . .
For underneath the robe was another clothing item nestled snugly inside . . .
It was a long gown with a colorful print that appeared to be East African in origin . . .
And, it did not take Pike long to realize . . .
Spock's survival was still a long shot . . .
But hope was not lost to the Vulcan after all.
Author's Note: Chapter 34 will hopefully be posted by Thanksgiving Day (November 24).
Your comments are always appreciated.
(1) The Vulcan lyre.