I have died everyday waiting for you

Chapter 5:

I started my day out happy. After waking up in the afternoon from a late patrol the day before, I went straight over to Sam and Emily's. I enjoyed a meal of monumental proportions. Emily cropped my hair back to its usual short length. I lounged around on their outdated plaid couch and flicked through boring TV channels, completely content.

My evening patrol shift with Quil was just about to start when there was a commotion outside. I sat up on the couch and my legs naturally tensed themselves. Quil paused from where he was in the kitchen and crooked his head toward the front door.

We both heard a door slam shut and a loud thump as Embry shouted out, "Guys! We've got a problem!"

Quil and I shared a nervous glance. Sam's steps came thundering down stairs and he waved us to follow him out the front door. It took my eyes a split second to adjust to the darker lighting. I blinked a few times, just to make sure I was really seeing what I thought I was.

Embry had an unconscious Paul face down in the dirt. It appeared as though Paul had rolled out of the truck and landed there.

Sam rushed forward and crouched down next to Paul. He looked up at Embry with steel in his eyes. "Tell me what happened." Quil and I crept closer. It was weird seeing Paul knocked out cold. Usually he was the one doing the knocking out.

"Paul imprinted." Embry informed us.

I jerked my head up. "Really?" I asked, surprised.

Embry fixed a glare on me. "No, Seth, I'm fucking making it all up."

To be honest, his remark stung me a bit. Quil growled and Sam stood up abruptly. "Quiet!" He snapped at the both of us, even though I hadn't said a word. To Embry, he ordered, "Go on."

Embry groaned deeply and ran a hand over his face, as if trying to ward off an unwanted memory. "Paul imprinted in some diner at Forks. It was after we went to go see the therapist my mom set me up with. Bastard put the sessions at two-fifty and Paul agreed to come with me to see if he would lower the price." Embry looked down and shuffled his feet.

I let out a small whine, knowing he was apprehensive about the next part.

He huffed out a breath. "Anyway, we went to the diner and he imprinted."

There was a few moments of silence before- "That's it? Don't make me drag it out of you, kid. Why is Paul unconscious? Where's the girl?" Sam wasn't in a trying mood anymore. I knew he'd alpha order Embry if we didn't get the full story soon.

"Just tell us, man." I urged him gently.

"The girl's name is Holly and she's a fucking mental case!" Embry rushed out. His shoulders relaxed the moment he did- as if holding in that was the biggest weight in the world to him right now.

"Mental Case?" Quil joked. "Then what's the problem?" He gestured to where Paul was still sprawled out by our feet. "Paul and her are a perfect match."

Embry shook his head. "You guys don't get it. This girl lost her shit in the diner. I think she threw dishes and she just completely broke down. She wouldn't get off the floor and did this fuckin' queer laughter." Embry looked at Sam. "I know her." He confessed quietly.

Sam's face had darkened at how Embry described Paul's imprint. "How?" He grit out.

"I saw her in the therapy waiting room. This girl is completely fucked, Sam. I was scared Paul would do something stupid so I knocked him out and dragged his ass back here. She did the same bullshit there, too that she screamed in the diner-You can't fall off the floor, Miriam!"

"What?" I added in. "She said that?"

Embry nodded. "I think Miriam may be her mom."

A rustling a decent hundred feet away from us made the conversation pause. Jake and Jared came barreling out of the woods, both sprinting. I guessed they were in a race. However, when they saw the four of us crowded around Paul, they stumbled to a slower pace and walked up to us.

Sam turned to me. "You're up, Seth." He looked over his shoulder. "You too, Quil. Whoever circled back around first can immediately start another circuit. I want the other one to check in on Leah and tell her she's up next with me, got it?"

"With you?" I asked skeptically. "No offense, Sam, but I think Leah would rather chew her foot off than be anywhere near you."

"She was originally with Paul, but now that this has happened, I don't want him patrolling until I get his side of the story. The last thing I want is one of my wolves to be ditching patrol to run after a girl."

I bowed my head and nodded. Sam's frustration of having to explain himself left me with a heavy feeling in my chest.

I walked a few yards away and stripped my shirt off. Behind me I heard Quil already phasing. I quickly peeled my pants off and a moment later I felt my mind connect with Quil's. Our thoughts wrapped together as we both processed what this imprinting would mean for Paul and the pack. I secretly hoped that Embry was embellishing a little. I didn't think Paul would be able to deal with an abnormal girl for an imprint. Last I heard he was still going out with this girl, Kristy.

"I totally forgot about Kristy." Quil butted in.

I shook off my irritation at having no privacy and loped away from Quil towards the cliffs. I was at the edge of my hearing range when I heard a pained moan. It sounded like it came from Paul. My suspicions were confirmed a split second later when Jared whooped, "Dude, you imprinted!"

I kicked up my pace, pushing my wolf legs to run faster. I wanted to be the first to finish the circuit. There was no way I wanted to be the one to tell Leah that she'd be patrolling with Sam later on.

XOXO
ಠ_ʘ
XOXO

I felt sick. I groaned and clutched my head. The room was spinning. "Ugh." I moaned out loud and cracked an eye open. My room was completely dark.

I shoved back the sheets and sat up in bed. From the doorway I thought I spotted a flicker of light.

"Presley?" I called out weakly. I coughed into my fist. The heartbeats in my head were too loud- no way could they all be mine.

I almost jumped out of my skin when my twin whispered back. "Yeah?" She walked into the room holding an empty glass. "Couldn't sleep either?" She asked me.

I nodded and then regretted the action when the heartbeats got louder. I was overcome with a sudden claustrophobia. My body temperature seemed to skyrocket. Sweat bullets formed on my hairline. The darkness felt like a prison. I got out of bed quickly and stripped off my pants. The cotton pajamas huddled around my feet and I stepped out of them.

It wasn't enough relief. I took three purposeful strides toward the window and thrust it open. I stuck my head out the window and relaxed my neck, letting my head dangle there. The sweet relief of the breeze came soon after.

Behind me I heard Presley clap loudly. I lifted my head and looked at her.

She put her hands on her hips defensively. "What? It was a bug. Please, Holly. You're room is going to be infested with them if you don't put a screen on that window."

Bugs scared Presley. They didn't scare me. I flopped my head back out the window. My neck folded in on itself.

"So?" Presley sounded annoyed. "This is what you're doing tonight? Look at yourself!" She ordered me. I held an arm out of the window and twisted it to where my line of vision was. I was still not as dark as most of the people here. I wished I had one of Kim's freckles.

Presley groaned behind me. "You don't get it, do you? You're in your underwear and you're half out a window. Why can't you be normal?"

"I don't know." I answered honestly. The pounding in my head was almost gone. I took out the bun in my hair and let it dangle towards the ground. Some pieces hung lower than others and I wondered if they wanted to get on the ground more than the others. If I jumped, I wondered if those shorter pieces would be the first to fly up with the wind, and try to save themselves. My twin's arms were suddenly around my waist and pulling me back into the room.

"I've been trying to get your attention for the last two minutes!" Presley yelled at me. Her collar bones were digging into the back of my neck and it wasn't comfortable. I tore myself away from her bony body.

I collapsed back onto my bed and shut my eyes. The pounding was back.

"Make it stop." I begged her. The mattress caved under her slight pressure. She lay down next to me.

"Holly? Make what stop?"

I made a pained sound in the back of my throat and threw my arms over my head. "The heartbeats." My voice was muffled and ashamed. I knew she couldn't hear them. It was only me. It was only ever me.

Presley grabbed at my arms and when I didn't allow her to pull them away from my face she gave up. "What would make them stop?" I rolled over slightly on my side, facing her. I couldn't tell if she was serious about helping me or not. She raised an eyebrow. "Well?"

"I want to go outside."

My twin didn't say anything, or move, for twenty-five seconds. I counted. Finally- "Of course you do. Frack my life. Alright, get up."

Presley and I made our way quietly out of my room and into the hallway. Miriam's door was swung open completely and I peered inside. My mom was huddled under a large down blanket that looked black in the lighting. She was snoring softly.

My sister pressed a finger to her lips and nodded me forward. Our descent down the stairs was soundless. Ten steps to the door, five, three, two, one step. Almost outside.

"Oh god, I forgot you weren't wearing any pants!" I tried to open the door but Presley's body prevented me from opening it. She had thrown herself in front of me. I watched, fascinated, as she ripped off her sweatpants, revealing tight gray spandex shorts. She threw them at me. "Put those on."

I did as she asked. Presley nodded to me and then, finally, opened the door. Outside.

The first thing I noticed was the feeling that the air was much warmer than I expected it to be. The second thing I noticed was that my earlier hypothesis was correct: as I jumped off the last step leading to the grass, the shorter pieces of hair were the first to fly up.

"Whatever you do, don't say a word!" Presley hissed out at me. She pointed above our heads. "That's mom's window and I know for a fact she keeps it open."

I ignored her and started to walk down the path. It didn't matter where Miriam's window was anyway- I had nothing to say. Grass was on either side of my bare feet. I couldn't resist myself- I squelched my toes into the cold dirt.

I felt better now.

XOXO
ಠ_ʘ
XOXO

I felt sick. Physically sick, emotionally sick, worried sick. Go ahead, pick one. I'm sure I felt them all. Angry sick, at Embry for doing what he did. Disgusted sick, with what I had done- or rather, what had been done to me. I hadn't chosen to imprint, especially not on someone like her.

After I came to, Sam made the entire pack phase, excluding Seth and Quil, and made us all watch Embry's memories of my- personal- imprinting. Even though Embry had explained, Sam wanted to see it. Never in my life had I felt so ashamed.

Sam tried to talk me down, telling me this great fantastical bullshit about how every wolf imprints for a reason and that this girl, this bat shit crazy girl, was somehow going to be my reason. Watching Embry's memories…I barely even remembered her, Holly, doing any of those things. The broken dishes, the sitting on the floor, the hollow, insane laughter, the-theeye contact that led to the imprinting.

I shuddered violently in my wolf form. The taller black wolf that was Sam huffed slightly; a warning.

I felt like a stalker. I barely knew this girl and here I was, staking out her house. Hell, I had no idea if this was even the right one.

"I told you, Paul, it's the right one."

"Butt out, Embry," Sam stepped between us suddenly, like a referee. "Let Paul work it out."

I growled lowly and stalked a few yards away.

Jared's medium brown wolf form padded over and sat down next to me, silently showing his support. He was trying to keep his thoughts together and away from me. But still, I felt his tension in the current situation and how much he'd rather be with Kim. He was glad I had someone to be my Kim now, but at the same time he was grateful that some of the pack was here to babysit me, especially after seeing the horror show Embry replayed.

My ears perked forward as I heard movement the door to the dark house swung open quietly. I watched Holly, my imprint, mentally through seven different views, including my own. She crept out the door and then, with a gigantic smile on her face, jumped down the last step.

"She doesn't look crazy to me." Collin remarked. I silently agreed with him.

"Maybe it was a fluke?" Jared added hopefully.

"So, can I leave now?" Brady was impatient as ever.

Embry shook his gigantic wolf head. "You all saw what I saw. She's fuckin' insane!"

I stood up to my full wolf height abruptly and bared my teeth at Embry. He had crossed a line with my imprint, and not for the first time.

Jake, who had been silent up until now, heaved himself off the forest floor and stepped between us. "Cut it out." He ordered. The weight of his command forced each Embry and I back a step.

I huffed and turned my eyes back to my imprint. We were at the edge of the forest line, so she had no chance at seeing any of us. I felt like a pervert, just for the basic fact that I, and the rest of the pack, was watching a girl who hadn't given us permission or who had knowledge that this was happening.

When Holly dug her feet into the dirt off the side of the pathway about a minute later, I called it quits.

"Are you all satisfied now? Paul can control himself around his imprint, who, coincidentally, isn't acting crazy."

I felt frustrated and dirty and trapped. I didn't want my pack mates spying on my imprint. Hell, I didn't want to be spying on her. But I liked it even less that they were here, too.

"There was never a question in my mind that you couldn't handle this-" Sam began.

"Oh save the shit!" I cut in. "When Jared imprinted, none of us got together and huddled around her house in the dead of night. If this was Emily," Sam growled threateningly at his fiancé's name, "would we be here? Even if she was supposedly crazy? No!"

My hackles were raised in defense. I felt waves of disapproval from all angles. It only pissed me off more.

"Fine." Sam heaved a great wolf sigh. I didn't let my surprise show. "Let's go everyone." I watched with satisfaction as my pack mates shuffled away under Sam's command. After a moment, it was just me and him. His yellow eyes narrowed. "I'm trusting you to come to me if you can't handle this. Regardless of how she's acting now, she's capable of being exactly how she was at the diner. And you're capable of being reckless, impulsive, and dangerous. You'd never forgive yourself if you hurt her."

Sam left me with those haunting last words. He was thinking about Emily's severe scarring when he said them.

One by one my pack mates disappeared from my psyche until I was just left with Seth and Quil, who were nothing more than a faint hum of consciousness. I settled back down and contended myself to be, however far away, with my imprint.

I watched Holly shake off her feet and waltz back into her house.

I replayed scenario after scenario of possible meeting situations and how I would act and what I should say. I don't know how long I sat there, staring at the dark house, just thinking about everything. Probably a while. Maybe a little longer.

The only thing I was certain of, was that by the time I decided to leave, I no longer felt like a sick: physically, emotionally, worriedly.

In fact, I felt much better now.

Author's Note: Hi everyone! Please, please review. It would be so helpful to have your feedback on this. Does anyone mind the changing of POVs and how I don't make it clear right away?