Dear Jack

Chapter 5: Spring 2010

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Again, this part's been sitting here, waiting for me to add to it…decided to go ahead and post it. Kinda short, but...I'm gonna go with it. It was either post this now, or else wait until god knows when, when I finally add to it.

Thanks for the reviews so far, and keep it up, please. :)

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Erica's little body shook with sobs as she wiggled away from the nurse who was only trying to start an IV, having been fighting off all doctors and nurses since she was admitted a few hours earlier. Monica bit her thumbnail, tears in her eyes as she watched her daughter throw the biggest fit she'd thrown since she was about three-years-old. Even then, Erica had always been the calm one, Jack much more likely to make a scene than she was.

"Erica, sweetie," Monica stepped forward, reaching out to touch the little girl, but Erica moved away from even her mother's touch.

"No!" she shouted, wiggling away. "No, no," she crawled to the foot of the bed, hugging her knees to her chest. "I'm not sick anymore," she stated adamantly, shaking her head fiercely from side-to-side as she wiped her hand across her reddened cheeks, but tears continued to spill down them, anyway. "No," she repeated, softer, taking short, jagged breaths as she finished her temper tantrum. "I'm not sick," she whispered through a deep, shaky breath. "I don't want to be sick again. It's not fair. It's not fair..."

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Monica sat in the waiting room, alone, head in her hands as she took a few deep breaths, waiting for news of Erica's surgery. She had brought Erica in when she developed a high fever and persistent cough, feeling it was better safe than sorry, though she was trying to ignore the nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach that she knew something wasn't right. Erica had insisted she wasn't sick, said she felt fine, but Monica had brought her in, anyway.

And Erica cried.

She cried on the drive to the hospital. She cried and fought her way through every test, just like the very first time. And Monica had stood by, helplessly, trying her best not to cry.

Chandler was out of town on a business trip, though he had gone straight to the airport as soon as Monica had called to say they were going to the hospital, not even meeting with his clients he was in Seattle to see. The first flight out he had found had been delayed, though, and so she sat, alone in the hospital, waiting. Waiting for Erica to get out of surgery, waiting for news from the doctor on her test results, waiting for Chandler to pick up Jack from Ross and Rachel's and get to the hospital already.

Sitting back up in the chair, Monica wiped her eyes, glancing at the time. From the last time she had checked on Chandler's flight, it should have landed ten minutes earlier, though he still had to get to Ross and Rachel's and then to the hospital. Monica blew out a slow breath, startled at the sound of her name.

"Monica?"

Monica stood up, thankful the voice belonged to Dr. Craig. "Any news?" she asked, trying to stop her voice from shaking.

"They were able to remove all of the masses from her lung," he started out, "and they are just closing her up now."

"But?" Monica asked, sensing there was more.

"Will your husband be here soon?"

"Yes, but, I don't-I-I need to know now, not in ten minutes," Monica's reply came out sounding helpless, a mixture of demanding and begging.

"Let's sit for a minute," he took a seat in one of the chairs, Monica hesitantly following suit. "As well as the tumors in her lungs, the cancer has also spread to her bone marrow. Although this is very rare for ALCL, it is still treatable."

Monica nodded, trying to absorb the new information. "What's the survival rate?"

"With recurrent ALCL, it's forty to sixty percent."

Monica continued to nod. "So, we've gone from a most likely to a maybe," she whispered.

"With the aggressive onset, we need to begin chemotherapy immediately," Dr. Craig continued. "Though, the regimen this time is inpatient, not outpatient."

"She will be thrilled," Monica replied wryly.

"Because of the involvement of the bone marrow, a bone marrow transplant is also a very likely possibility," Dr. Craig continued. "Did you have your son tested?"

Monica shook her head. "Not yet," she whispered.

"I know this is a lot to take in," the doctor reached out, placing his hand on her arm. "If you want to take a few minutes to absorb all of this and wait for Chandler to get here, I'll be in my office, and the surgeon will come let you know when she is out of surgery."

Monica nodded slowly, not wanting him to walk away, but feeling that being alone was just as well.

"If you need anything, you know where to find me," he gave her a reassuring smile before standing up and walking away.

Monica took a deep breath as she sank deeper into her chair, Erica's little voice echoing in her head, crying, It's not fair.

It's not fair.