I can't believe I'm up to 18 chapters. And I have no idea how many are still to come. It can't be too many. But I don't really know.

I wrote the ending last week. Well... there may be a short epilogue after what I wrote of the last chapter. But I have a goal to reach now.

Flashback chapters may be few and far between now. If at all. I'm pretty much done explaining things though.

Hope ya'll like the chapter. :)

Ch. 18

Still in the present.

"Drew!"

He lifts his head to see who called his name, trying not to look as defeated as he feels.

It's Steel from the front gate. He looks hysterical, somewhere between laughing and frantic. "Come here!" Then he takes off running back towards the front gate.

Drew blinks. Steel never acts like this. He gets up and sprints after him. Getting to the front gate, he slows down. There's a commotion around the outpost. He pushes his way through the people around the door, freezing inside as his eyes widen in shock. "Dean!"

They have him sitting in a chair, shirt off as they wrap his chest and one of his arms. His leg is already wrapped, jeans cut to below the knee, just needing the support around the weak bone. He looks over to Drew, giving him a tired smirk. "Hi." He winces when they pull the bandage around his chest tight. "Ow."

Drew gapes for a few seconds. Then he snaps. "If you ever make me promise something so crazy again I'm going to kill you!"

Dean blinks, smirk turning into a look of shock.

Everyone stares in amazement. Drew is the only person who's ever actually spoken to either of the Winchesters like that. He keeps going. "I can't be who you are to your brother!" He stalks forward now. "From what I've seen in the twenty-four hours I've watched him, you are the only thing that's been able to keep your brother from going crazy! His only constant! I can't be that! Don't you ever leave me to do that again!"

Dean stands, face panicked. "What happened?"

Drew looks up now that Dean's standing, eyes drilling up the few inches into his. "He's falling apart," he hisses. "I finally understand what he meant when he said yesterday that you kept hell away."

Dean sucks in a sharp breath, shoving past Drew and through the crowd at the door. He books it towards his and Sam's cabin, t-shirt going over his head as he pulls it on, possibly backwards. He doesn't care. "Sam!" He ignores the slight burning in his chest from the cut, his sole focus on getting to his brother. "Sammy!" He doesn't slow until he gets to the door of their cabin, stopping only long enough to yank it open before stumbling in, bad leg almost giving out on him after the run.

His breath catches in his throat when he sees his brother holding the gun in his hand. He watches in shock as Sam nods once, then starts lifting the gun. He sprints forward, colliding into him at an incredible velocity that sends them all the way across the two beds (space between them and all) and onto the floor on the other side with the sound of a gunshot echoing in the room. The gun clatters to the floor in time with Sam's 'oof'.

"Sam. Sammy. Hey. Look at me. Look at me." He takes Sam's face in his hands, angling it up until he makes Sam's eyes connect with his. "Focus, Sam. Talk to me. What are you seeing right now? Sam!"

Sam looks at him, not even blinking though he does focus on Dean's face. He doesn't move, barely breathes, as he looks up at his brother. Then he talks. "Dean."

"Yeah, Sammy. I'm back. I'm here. C'mon, Sam. Talk to me. Help me out. I'm trying to pull you out of your head."

Sam suddenly starts to struggle, pinned to the ground still by Dean's body right where they've fallen. "No! Anything but this! Please! Lucifer!"

Dean grabs Sam's wrists, yanking them up and pressing them into the floor above his brother's head, and lays as much of his own weight as he can on Sam to keep him on the floor. "Sam! I'm real! I'm right here! I promise!"

Sam goes limp, head falling to the floor with a soft thud as his eyes squeeze shut. "Please. Just let me get it over with."

Dean growls as he shoves Sam's wrists harder into the floor. "Sam. Look. At. Me." When Sam only shakes his head, eyes still closed, Dean suddenly pushes himself to his knees, leaning back to sit on his feet between Sam's sprawled legs as he yanks his brother up from the floor by a fist in his shirt.

Sam's eyes shoot open in surprise, mouth falling open as he gasps for breath now that Dean's weight is off his chest.

Dean has his nose a hair's width away from Sam's. "Now you listen closely and listen good. I just saw you with a gun on its way towards your head so I'm not letting you go until I'm sure it isn't going to happen again. I'm right here, Sam. I got away. It wasn't leviathans like I thought. They have a new weapon, but I'll get into that later. I got away. I'm not dead." He grabs Sam's hand, putting it to his chest. "I'm alive. Enough to kick your ass if I ever see you looking at a gun like that again."

Sam's hand fists in Dean's shirt. "You promised."

Dean's face crumbles. "I know, Sam. I'm sorry. I'm right here. I'm not dead, okay? I kept my promise. Fought tooth and nail to get here. You with me? Hey." He puts his hands to Sam's shoulders, shaking him a little. "Are you with me?"

Sam looks at him for a second, eyes moving over Dean's face as he finally gives breathing room between them. "Dean."

Dean sighs. "Right here, Sammy. I'll keep the devil away."

Sam's breath hitches as he suddenly starts scrambling to practically climb into his brother, arms going around him and even his legs since Dean's still sitting between them. He grabs fistfuls of Dean's shirt, pressing his face into his big brother's neck though he doesn't cry.

Dean's arms go around Sam after a few seconds, a little weirded out from being treated like a tree, and the fact that his brother just wrapped both his arms and legs around him. But he knows how much Sam needs a second for this. "Easy, Sammy. I'm right here."

"I got sucked back in so fast," he chokes out into Dean's neck. "When I would snap out of it I knew it wouldn't be long before I was stuck there. Like at the cabin. What you told me I did in the first few days. Just sitting. Doing nothing while I was trapped in my head. I couldn't let that happen. I was going to be stuck. He had me, Dean."

Dean keeps his arms around him, resting his chin on his shoulder. He even reaches up to pet Sam's hair as he presses his brother's face even more into his neck. He ignores the tiny bit of wetness he feels. "He can't have you anymore, little brother. I'm right here. Drew told me. I understand now. The reason you were able to pull yourself out of it at the cabin was because I was there. I'm not going to leave you alone, Sam. Okay? I won't let that happen. I'm sorry about this time."

Sam tightens his arms. "It's okay."

Dean winces as his chest gest compressed from Sam's hold. "Sam. C'mon, buddy. Loosen up. I was buried under sharp objects."

Sam releases him instantly, pawing at his shirt to try and see the damage.

Dean grabs his wrists, holding him as he leans forward to make eye contact. "Relax, man. I was getting it wrapped up when Drew found me and ripped me a new one for leaving him the responsibility of you."

Sam chokes on a wet laugh, wiping away the two tear tracks from his face. From two single tears, one from each eye. "Don't do that to him again."

Dean hears the underlying 'Don't do that to me again'. "I won't," he says softly.

Sam looks at him.

Dean looks back. "I'm sorry. I'll be more careful next time. Okay?"

Sam only leans forward, forehead coming to rest on Dean's shoulder.

Dean lifts an arm, wrapping it back around his brother's shoulders. "I know." He sighs. "I guess we should find you some food then."

Sam shrugs.

"I know you haven't eaten. And I'm starving. C'mon." He stands, keeping a hold on Sam's arm until he is standing too. "You going to be okay?"

Sam nods.

"Don't relapse on me bro. Let me know what's going on."

"Not relapsing," Sam rasps. "Throat hurts."

Dean nods. "Okay. C'mon. Let's go get you some food. Yeah?"

Sam follows, hand gripping the end of Dean's t-shirt in a death grip, knuckles white.

"I'm not going anywhere, Sam. I'm right here."

Sam only walks closer.

Dean doesn't try to detach him. Doesn't have the heart to. Sam has relapsed a little. With the coming of Lucifer, it brings a wave of clinginess. The fact that Dean keeps him from showing up is a huge revelation to him. He knew there was a reason Sam grabbed onto him so much. But he never thought it was something as profound as that. He just thought maybe it was a reality check. Not keeping the actual devil away.

Walking through camp, he sees people watching Sam warily and looks over his shoulder to see him looking a little more cold than usual. Maybe he should have someone bring them some food. If someone says something wrong today, Sam might not be able to keep from going at their throats. He finds Drew as he's walking towards him, motioning him over. He sighs when he sees Drew look at Sam with more nervousness than he showed even before.

"Can you bring me and Sam some food? I know he hasn't eaten since before this whole thing even though he won't admit it. And I think it'd be best to keep him in the cabin until he's ready to be a little more… civil."

Drew nods. "I can do that. He… doing okay?"

Dean looks to Sam again, seeing Sam looking at Drew. He can't describe the look on Sam's face, but when he looks back to Drew, the kid looks sheepish.

"Sorry, Sam. Are you doing okay?"

Sam's face softens just a little, one of his smirks that probably isn't supposed to look so dark spreads across his face. "Fine."

Drew nods. "Good. I'll… go get that food." He turns away.

Dean looks to Sam raising an eyebrow.

Sam just turns around, hand still holding onto Dean's shirt and therefore pulling him, heading back to the cabins.

"You're really working for the mysterious creepy guy thing here."

Sam chuckles lowly. "Figured it works. Insane and all."

"Don't be doing that now, Sam." Walking into the cabin, he looks around and notices the absence of chairs for the first time. And their table. He pushes Sam to sit on the bed instead. "You aren't insane. None of this is your body's fault. It's all mental stuff that stuck to you. This doesn't happen to normal people. Normal people don't have the actual devil attached to them. Even if they are crazy."

Sam shrugs.

Dean shoves the beds back together before sitting on it, scooting up to the headboard. "Come here."

Sam does immediately.

Dean pulls him down to lay next to him, keeping an arm around Sam as he lays his head on Dean's chest over his heart. Dean smiles as he hears the content sigh Sam lets out and feels how his brother's body finally relaxes. He knew that's what Sam needed. The recognizable sound of Dean's heart. Just like when they were kids. The basics. Always need to revert to the basics.

After a few seconds, his smile falls away. "Did Drew tell you I was sorry? That you were right? You should be able to tell me when you're feeling up to something. You know yourself better than I do even if I know you almost as much. I just get a little protective."

Sam fists his hand in Dean's shirt. "I don't care anymore. Just don't leave me again. Stay with me on attacks. Okay? I promise I'll stay here at camp if you want me to but you need to stay with me, okay?"

"Shhh," Dean soothes. "Promise. Now sleep. I'm right here. Everything will be better when you wake up."

Sam's out within seconds, exhausted from all of the emotional turmoil he's been in since he thought his brother was dead.

A few minutes later, Drew knocks lightly before entering the cabin. He blinks in shock when he sees the position of the two on the re-combined beds.

Dean opens his eyes from where he's only half asleep next to his brother, smiling a little at Drew's face. "It comforts him to hear my heartbeat. And to just be close. Always has. Since he was little. He'd always sneak into my bed when he had nightmares, even when Dad started separating us."

Drew sets the box of food on the small counter space in the kitchen before walking a little closer, eyes on Sam's face. "He looks so peaceful," he whispers.

Dean looks down, smiling softly. "Only when he's sleeping. That's why I'll do whatever it takes to get him to sleep. He needs this." He looks up at Drew. "We're used to people making assumptions about us. It doesn't bother us anymore. We've realized that we just need things from each other most brothers could do without. We're screwed up together. So we work just right."

Drew nods, watching Dean's fingers play with the ends of Sam's long hair. "I'm not judging," he murmurs. "After what I saw of him without you, I wouldn't ever tell you to not do anything as long as it was helping him."

Dean's face falls and he lets his hand messing with Sam's hair fall to the bed.

As if he felt his brother's mood drop, Sam's forehead wrinkles in a frown.

Dean's smile almost comes back as his other hand comes up and soothes the wrinkles away. "Relax, bro," he murmurs, voice as soothing as his hands. Sam instantly stills.

"You know," Drew says quietly, reminding Dean of his presence, "I think the reason people speculate about you guys so much is because they can't describe your relationship. I think a lot of people wish they had what you have with someone. The intensity of love you have for each other. How you'd do anything for each other. How you just fit together like pieces of a gun. A well-oiled machine."

Dean nods, letting his head fall back against the wall. "I guess that's why I don't mind any of this. Because I know nothing could ever be the same as the two of us together. We've never done 'apart' well."

Drew nods. He looks down, scratching the back of his neck in embarrassment when he realizes how long he's been here almost ogling the brothers. Let alone the whole girly moment they just had. "I guess I should go."

"Can you tell Mark I need a meeting with the leaders tomorrow? I have some new info they might want. And an explanation about how I came back."

Drew nods.

"Thanks, Drew."

He waves him off. "No problem."

"I mean for everything."

Drew looks to him.

"You're the first real friend we've had in a long time. And you help us out a lot. Thank you. I'm sure Sam would say the same."

Drew smiles. "I know. And it's no problem. My pleasure actually."

Dean aims one last small smile at him before looking down at Sam again, hand already back to absently combing through his hair. As Drew leaves, he looks over his shoulder one more time to see Dean laying his head on his brothers, slouching down to get comfortable for the night. It makes Drew smile. Those two are something special.