Her Smile Heals Me (part 11)
Quinn finished washing her hands then pulled two white paper towels out of the wall-mounted dispenser, wiping her hands dry and tossing the used towels into the trash bin. She pushed open the restroom door with one of her elbows and walked up the hallway toward the open area of the coffee house.
The lights had already been turned back up to full brightness, and most of the patrons had cleared out. A couple of The Lima Bean employees were resetting the tables and chairs for Saturday morning's typical breakfast crowd. Quinn scanned the interior for a sight of Santana. The Latina had left toward the end of the last set to go to the restroom but never returned to their table.
"Hey," Cate said in Quinn's direction. The tall brunette was snapping shut the latches on her black guitar case.
Quinn smiled at her and gave a quick wave. Cate stood up and closed the distance between them. "Did you enjoy the music tonight?" she asked.
"Yeah, I did," Quinn confirmed with a broader smile, "I need to do more stuff like this…who knew there was this much talent in Lima, Ohio."
"There were some good voices here tonight…but other open mic nights, not so much," Cate joked.
"Well, I was impressed, particularly with Marisa's set…and your playing."
"Thanks…I love playing guitar, since I was in junior high…," the taller girl blushed and smiled, "Just give me my guitar and a good book…and I can entertain myself for hours on end."
"I'm the same way…sometimes I have to remind myself that there's a world outside my books," Quinn said with a melancholy overtone.
"What book are you reading right now?" Cate inquired energetically.
"I just started Room by Emma Donoghue a couple of days ago…and I'm already half-way through it."
"Oh my god…I just finished that one!" Cate responded excitedly.
"It's so creepy and scary…I couldn't put it down last night," Quinn revealed, with a laugh, "Then I couldn't sleep because it was so creepy and scary…so I just ended up reading more of it until I finally just fell unconscious in the middle of the night."
"I've done the same thing…," Cate shared Quinn's laugh, "You know they're making it into a movie, right?"
"No, I hadn't heard anything about that."
"They are…so the author is on a book-signing tour in the States…," Cate informed her, "She's going to be in Ohio this weekend actually…and I was thinking of going to hear her speak about the book tomorrow night…would you want to join me?"
"Ah, that's quite the challenge you're putting before me…," Quinn shifted her stance, thinking.
Cate's light blue eyes narrowed and her brow furrowed, trying to figure out Quinn's hesitance.
"I'll have to hurry home to finish the book tonight …but yeah, I'd love to meet her…," Quinn announced.
"Awesome…," Cate grinned, "I can pick you up if that works for you."
"That sounds great…do you have your phone?"
Cate pulled out her phone from her back pocket and unlocked it, scrolling until she had a new contact page pulled open. Quinn took the phone from her, "May I?"
Cate smiled, "Go ahead."
The blonde typed into the contact page QUINN F. and her phone number then she pushed save, handing the phone back to Cate. "There you go…just text…or call me…with the details," she told the brunette.
"Great…," Cate happily saved the info and slide the phone back down in her jeans.
"I need to find Santana so we can go," Quinn said, "Have you seen her recently?"
"Have you tried out back?"
Quinn hung her small red purse over her shoulder and turned toward the coffee house's back wall. She pushed open the back door to step out into the Ohio June night with Cate right behind her, guitar case in hand.
The girls saw Jordan and Santana sitting on the opened tailgate of a small, maroon truck, talking and laughing.
"What's going on, you two?" Cate asked as she and Quinn walked up.
"Nothing…," Jordan responded, hanging her arm around Santana's shoulders, "…just hanging out with my new buddy here."
"Santana…we need to go," Quinn told her friend, unsure about the vibe which she was picking up from the black-haired, older girl.
"Ok…," Santana slid out of the bed of the truck, turning back around to wave at Cate and Jordan, "…thanks again!"
"See ya, kid…," Jordan winked, smiling toward Cate who just shook her head and rolled her eyes.
Quinn started her car's ignition as the teens buckled their seatbelts. As Quinn pulled her Volkswagen Jetta out onto the main street, Santana leaned to turn up the radio, hearing that it was one of her new favorites.
"I love this song…" she told Quinn.
As the girls drove, Adele's voice sang Someone Like You…
…I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited,
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it,
I'd hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded,
That for me, it isn't over yet.
Nevermind, I'll find someone like you.
I wish nothing but the best for you too.
Don't forget me, I begged, I remember you said,
Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead, yeah.
Nothing compares, no worries or cares.
Regrets and mistakes, they're memories made.
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?
Quinn reached her hand up quickly and switched off the radio, leaving the inside of the car silent.
"Why'd you turn it off?" Santana asked with slight irritation and confusion.
"It's too sad…I can't listen to that," the blonde told her.
"It's heartfelt…," Santana defended.
"More like…gut-wrenching," Quinn said sadly.
"It's a beautiful song, Quinn."
"Well, you've already found the love of your life…I'm sure that makes life easy for you."
"Oh yeah…no, you're right, Quinn…my life is sooooo much easier than everyone else's…thanks for the reminder," the Latina retorted sarcastically, crossing her arms over her chest and turning to look out the window.
"At least you're not alone," the former head Cheerio added quietly.
Santana turned to look at Quinn, seeing a tear fall from her eye and roll down her cheek. The brunette's heart suddenly ached for her dear friend. She reached over and put her hand over Quinn's as it rested on the black, leather steering wheel, squeezing it supportively.
"You're not either, Q…," she assured her.
The girls rode further in silence then Santana heard her cell phone buzz in her jeans pocket.
Santana pulled it out, putting it to her ear, "Hello?"
"Hey there…I got your message," Brittany told her, "You sounded upset."
"Hey, babe…," Santana suddenly felt a calm move through her from hearing Brittany's voice, "…thanks for calling me back tonight."
"What's going on?"
"My mom's making me go to a meeting in the morning with the district attorney."
Quinn looked over at the Latina with concern on her face.
"Do you think your parents will be there?"
"I think so…I don't know which is worse…talking about what happened to me to strangers…or seeing them."
"Well, sweetheart…whatever happens…just remember that I love you, ok?"
"Yeah…," Santana smiled.
Santana looked up at the silver-strip of numbers as they lit up sequentially in red. Second Floor. Third Floor. Her stomach muscles tightened in a knot as the elevator approached floor six. She shifted her weight from one sandal to her other one and self-consciously flattened her blue-flowered, cotton sundress.
"You'll do fine, honey…just be clear and concise…," Daniel Berry reminded Santana of their previously-discussed game plan, patting her left shoulder.
She was almost as tall as him, but she tilted her head and smiled, grateful he offered up his lawyer services in addition to a ride to her meeting downtown this morning. Rachel took her by the right hand and squeezed it in support as the elevator dinged its arrival on the sixth floor.
Here we go, Santana thought to herself as the elevator doors slid open and the trio step out into the sixth floor corridor. The girls followed behind Daniel who rounded a corner and moved up a hallway toward a frosted-glass door. He opened it for the teens to enter, allowing it to close behind him. Santana looked down at her silver watch…9:52am…as Daniel walked up to a middle-aged woman who was seated behind a government-standard, brown desk.
"Santana Lopez…10:00 appointment," Daniel told the woman whose hand went to her black, plastic mouse, clicking as she moved it across a mouse pad with a picture of Vincent van Gogh's Starry Night.
"You'll be meeting with ADA Cole in the third conference room on the left…go on down there…they are already in there," she instructed.
Daniel nodded and smiled politely while ushering Santana toward the hallway. "Rach, sweetie…take a seat out here for now," Rachel's father told her.
Santana turned to look back at her, a look of fear on her beautiful, tanned face.
"You'll do great," Rachel encouraged the Latina with a wink.
Santana returned a hesitant smile then walked with Daniel down the hall to the third door on the left which was closed. Daniel knocked lightly then pushed down on the silver handle to open it.
"Hello…," Daniel said ahead of Santana's entrance.
Seated in the conference room already were Santana's parents along with a young woman who had a yellow legal pad and a blue file-folder opened in front of her and a man who was in his early thirties. The man had sandy-blond hair, black-framed glasses, and he was wearing khakis and a teal blue polo shirt, leaning back in his chair with his left loafer resting casually up on his right thigh.
Daniel held the door opened so that Santana could enter the room. She subconsciously hesitated as she saw her mother and father.
The younger man stood up and stuck out his hand, "Santana? Hi, I'm Assistant District Attorney Eric Cole…it's nice to meet you…please have a seat."
Santana gave him a limp handshake, turning to look at Daniel for comfort and for direction.
Daniel gave her a supportive smile then stuck out his hand as ADA Cole turned toward him. "Daniel…good to see you again. You remember my paralegal, Claudia."
The young woman looked up and smiled politely, looking back down at her legal pad and clicking her black, Pilot pen to the ready position.
"And these are Santana's parents…," ADA Cole started to introduce them.
"Oh yes, we are all familiar with each other…our daughters go to school together."
"Hi, Daniel," Mrs. Lopez said flatly.
The choices of chairs were the far end of the table or next to her mother so Santana pushed past the ADA to sit at the far end. Daniel followed her, sitting in the chair to the right of Mrs. Lopez. Santana was fidgeting nervously and looking down at the table, avoiding eye contact with her parents.
"Ok, well…let's go ahead and get started…Santana, just to make you aware…we will be recording this meeting," ADA Cole stated.
Claudia pushed the record button on a large, black recording device sitting in the center of the conference table.
"It is Saturday, June 11th…2011…it is 10:10am…This is Assistant District Attorney Eric Cole…here with Claudia Douglass…this is an official interview with Santana Lopez, whose parents and attorney, Daniel Berry, are also present," ADA Cole spoke loudly and clearly, "…Santana, would you please state and spell your name for the record."
Santana cleared her throat and leaned into the table to speak toward the recorder, "Santana Lopez. S-a-n-t-a-n-a L-o-p-e-z."
Daniel watched the teen, her hands shaking, then looked over at her parents. Dr. Lopez sat stoned-faced at the other end of the table between his wife and Claudia, looking only at the ADA. Mrs. Lopez sat quietly, looking around the table, with a look of concern on her face.
"Thank you, Santana. As you probably know already, our detectives were able to track down David Karofsky and his parents in Houston, Texas…so this interview is very important because he has been extradited back to Ohio and is currently in custody. There will be a bail hearing Monday morning."
"What does that mean…bail hearing? He could get out?" Santana interrupted.
"It's unlikely with him being such a flight risk…so I don't want you to worry about that right now, ok?" ADA Cole assured her, "His attorney will want to conduct a deposition soon so we need to have a clear understanding of the facts."
"What's a deposition?" Santana looked at Daniel, "I don't understand what any of this means."
"Santana…stop interrupting so we can listen to what Mr. Cole is telling us," Dr. Lopez scolded her.
Daniel spoke up, "Eric, would you mind pausing the recording for a moment?"
ADA Cole nodded toward Claudia who reached to stop the recording.
"Thank you. I imagine this entire process is confusing and overwhelming to anyone in Santana's situation…but for a child, I'm sure it is quite frightening…so let's please try to keep that in mind as we jump through the necessary hoops here," Daniel stated.
"She's not a child," Dr. Lopez clarified, "In fact, she has been very bold lately in asserting her independence from her mother and me…and in promoting her adult lifestyle."
Santana swallowed hard and closed her eyes, trying to keep herself from getting upset and crying in front of everyone in the room.
"I'm not going to argue semantics with you…Santana is still a minor…she is the victim of a violent crime…and she has recently been through a lot of turmoil…," Daniel added the last point with emphasis, looking over at Santana's parents, "…let's all agree to work together to preserve her emotional well being as much as possible under the circumstances."
"How dare you imply that I don't have my daughter's best interest in mind," Dr. Lopez said loudly, his temper flaring.
"Did you when you threw her out of her home?" Daniel fired back.
"Gentlemen…let's calm down," Eric interjected, gesturing with his hands that they settle down.
Santana could not hold it together any longer, pushing back from the table and quickly moving toward the door. She ran down the hallway, past Rachel reading a magazine in the lobby, and opened the door to the corridor.
Rachel set down her magazine and grabbed her purse as her father followed behind the emotional Latina. "What's going on?" she asked him.
Without answering, Daniel Berry moved quickly up the exterior hallway toward the elevators.
"Santana…wait!" he hollered as he rounded the corner, "Stop!"
Santana pushed the already-lit down button again, mentally willing it to arrive quicker. "I can't do this…I'm sorry, Daniel."
"What happened?" Rachel asked, stepping up behind them.
"I hate them!" Santana said, breaking into tears.
"Who?" the shorter brunette asked.
"My parents…my father…," she reached to push the lit button again, "He's such an arrogant asshole."
Daniel moved closer and put his arms around her as she broke into a sob. Rachel wrapped her arms around Santana from behind.
"Santana…?" an almost meek-sounding female's voice said.
The young Latina looked up to see her mother approaching the trio. The elevator doors opened then shut again after a few seconds. Rachel stepped to the side of the hallway to stand back with her dad.
"I'm sorry you're so upset," Mrs. Lopez walked up to the young brunette.
"I'm fine…I just want to go home…I mean…I just want to get out of here," Santana corrected herself.
"How have you been doing?" her mother asked.
"I'm swell, Mom…thanks for your concern," Santana said sarcastically.
Her mother took a deep breath before reaching her arms out to her daughter, but Santana turned away from her to face the elevators again.
"I have wanted to call you…often," Mrs. Lopez confessed.
"I haven't had any missed calls from you," Santana retorted harshly.
"I understand that you're angry."
"Yeah, I'm angry…why wouldn't I be?"
"You never cashed the check I sent."
"You can't buy me off…to make your conscience feel better about what you're doing to me."
"It wasn't meant as that, Santana…I sent it to help you."
"Well, I have my own money now…I don't need Dad's money anymore."
"How are you getting around without your car?" her mother inquired.
"It's funny, Mom…you guys actually taught me a valuable lesson by taking it away from me," Santana looked over at Rachel and her dad, "I learned that I have amazing people in my life…if I just open my eyes and look around me."
"I'm glad you have such great friends," Mrs. Lopez said.
"Yeah…who accept me as I am."
Quinn pulled the sleeves of her yellow sweater down further to cover her cold hands and shifted herself in the passenger's seat to look over at Cate who was telling her about a philosophy in literature class she was taking at Lima Community College.
"Are you cold?" Cate asked, noticing Quinn's body language, "I can turn the heat on if it'd help?"
"Oh no, I'm fine…really," Quinn assured her, "Go on…I'm fascinated."
"Well…it involves both literary and philosophical reflections on human flourishing in the twentieth century," Cate explained as she drove, "It's only offered in the summer semesters…so that's why I'm enrolled this summer."
"Is that the only class you're taking?"
"No, even though I'm working right now, I'm also squeezing in my logics class to get my last math core requirement out of the way so I can complete my transfer request," the brunette told her.
"Oh, you're transferring?" Quinn asked, "…to where?"
"Well…that's my plan anyway…I'm not sure it'll work out, but I'm going to try to move to a full college by next spring semester," Cate revealed.
"Which college did you have in mind?" Quinn inquired.
"Smith College in Northampton, Massachusetts is my first choice."
"That's an all girls college…isn't it?"
"Yes…my aunt went there…she graduate several years ago, but I can remember visiting her with my mom," Cate recalled, "She would always take me to see Emily Dickinson's house which is nearby."
"I love Emily Dickinson!" Quinn stated enthusiastically.
"Hope is the thing with feathers, that perches in the soul, and…," Cate quoted the poet.
"… sings the tune without the words, and never stops at all," Quinn chimed in, finishing the line from the poem.
Cate glanced over and smiled at Quinn who smiled back before looking down at her hands in her lap.
"What made you start out at LCC?" the younger girl wondered aloud.
"Ahh…long story for a longer car ride," Cate joked, "…suffice it to say…I went way off the academic track my freshman and sophomore years in high school, so my grades suffered…I wasn't able to catch up my GPA enough to apply."
Quinn looked over at the tall girl as she drove them toward Quinn's house.
"Once I decided I was done searching for myself…and that my fantasy of touring the world in a girls' rock band was exactly that…a fantasy…I decided to try the community college route in hopes of transferring at some point," Cate explained, "…just trying to break out of Lima somehow, you know?"
"Oh yeah…I definitely know that desire," Quinn said sadly.
Cate watched the blonde out of the corner of her eye as the small truck fell silent. "So what's your story…Quinn F.?"
Quinn laughed at Cate's attempt at lightening the moment. "It's F for Fabray," she told her, remembering how she entered her name in Cate's contacts, "…and my story is one of going way off track too sophomore year…though I don't know that I've found my way back yet."
"Believe it or not…I can listen as well as I can talk…," Cate smiled at her.
Quinn paused and took a deep settling breath. "I got pregnant my sophomore year."
"Oh, wow…so you have a baby?" Cate was intrigued.
"Had a baby…yes…," Quinn clarified, "I gave her up for adoption."
In the brief light of a passing, oncoming car's headlights, Cate could see the anguish on Quinn's face. She reached over and put her hand on Quinn's cotton-covered hand and squeezed it gently. "I'm sorry you had to go through that, Quinn."
"Me too…," Quinn confessed.
"I think it's one of the bravest, most selfless decisions a mother can make…," Cate told her, "…it's like giving life twice to your child."
"I hope she sees it that way when she's grown," Quinn's voice quivered at the sentiment.
"I think she will…I'm adopted…and that's how I feel about it," the brunette revealed.
"You're adopted?" Quinn asked with subtle shock in her voice.
"Yes, and I am thankful to my birth mother for loving me and being strong enough to put me in a better situation…and to my parents for raising me in a supportive home…," Cate continued, with a small laugh, "…though I know I've been quite the challenge to my mom and dad."
Quinn put her other hand over the top of Cate's hand, consciously realizing at last that they had been riding for a few minutes holding hands.
Cate pulled back her other hand as she made one last turn to pull the truck slowly into Quinn's driveway, putting it in park.
"Thank you for inviting me to go with you tonight," the teen told the older girl as she unbuckle her seatbelt.
"Emma Donoghue was so cool, wasn't she?" Cate asked, turning off the truck's ignition and unbuckling her shoulder strap too, "…and I love her accent…I could listen to it all night."
"Yes, she was very interesting…but I meant thank you…to you…for talking to me…for getting me to talk…about…stuff…," Quinn made the distinction, "…I don't usually open up about things…but I don't know…with you…well, I've really enjoyed talking to you tonight."
"Me too…," Cate shifted in the seat to turn toward Quinn, "…sooo…would you want to do something again some night?"
"Yeah…I really would."
"They're showing Garbo films this coming week at the old theater downtown…would that interest you?"
Quinn didn't hesitate, excited at the suggestion, "Yes, that sounds wonderful…especially if they're showing Grand Hotel."
Cate laughed, "They are actually…Tuesday night."
"I'm there then," Quinn smiled broadly.
"Great! I'll look forward to it."
Quinn nodded as a pause hung inside the small space of the truck.
Cate leaned forward and placed a small but tender kiss on Quinn's lips, pulling back and smiling, "I'll call you, ok?"
Quinn smiled back, quickly opening the car door, sliding out and shutting it behind her. She turned for a brief second and waved back at Cate who restarted the truck. As the blonde opened her front door with her key, Cate started backing out of the driveway. Quinn looked back at the truck one last time before stepping inside and shutting the front door. The teen leaned back against the wood of the door, her stomach fluttering as if a dozen butterflies had been let loose inside it. She shut her eyes tight and took a deep, calming breath, pulling her right hand up to her lips, touching them lightly and wondering to herself…what the hell just happened?
Santana was sound asleep when she heard her phone start buzzing loudly against the wood of her bed's side table. She forced her eyes opened at the same time as she reached out her hand to grab the phone.
"Hello?" she said groggily, putting the cell phone up to her ear.
"San…?"
"Quinn?" the brunette asked, still half-asleep.
"I'm so sorry I woke you…but…um…I have to talk to you…right now."
"Ok…talk."
"No…I need to talk to you outside."
"Outside where?"
"Outside your house…please come downstairs."
"What?"
"Santana…wake up! I'm in my car in the driveway…please come down before I have a mental breakdown."
"Ok, ok…I have to pee first…then I'll be down," the Latina told her, "…you're not going to slit your wrists in the next five minutes, are you?"
"That's not funny…just hurry…please," Quinn pleaded.
Santana locked her phone and rubbed the remaining sleep from her eyes then found her flip-flops in the dark of the room. After a quick trip past the guest bathroom, she quietly stepped down the Berry staircase and moved toward the front door. Gently unlocking and closing it behind her, she zipped her black hoodie all the way up against the night breeze while walking up to Quinn's Jetta.
"What's the emergency?" Santana asked followed by a huge yawn as she slid into the passenger seat and closed the door behind her.
"I'm pretty sure I was on a date tonight."
"Ok…and…congrats?"
Quinn drew in a gulp of air, "I think I have another date for this week."
"Q…I've had a shit-ass day…so this story better get more interesting, quick like…or I'm going back to bed."
"…With a girl."
Santana uncrossed her arms and sat up in the seat, turning toward Quinn with wide eyes, "…well, I'm definitely awake now."
Quinn stared at her with a confused look in her eyes, not knowing what more to say.
"Ok…who's the girl?" Santana asked with awe.
"Cate."
"Wait, what?"
"And…she kissed me tonight."
Santana sat with her mouth opened but nothing coming out.
"Yeah, that's pretty much where I am right now too," the blonde confessed.
The Latina shook her head to clear her thoughts. "Did you like it?" Santana finally asked.
Quinn paused before saying, "…yeah…I think I did."
"Holy…fuck…," Santana smiled and crossed her arms back over her chest, "Quinn Fabray."
"Don't make fun, San…that's not what I need right now."
"I'm not making fun…I'm just…like…wow."
"I don't know what it is about her…she's amazing," Quinn tried to formulate her spinning thoughts into a coherent description, "She's so intelligent…and we share all the same interests…I mean, she knows about literature…and philosophy…and poetry…and classic movies…and all kinds of music…seriously…I could talk to her for hours and never get bored…I don't know, San…I've never felt this before."
"I think it's great, Q…really, really great."
"I don't know what this means…I'm so…incredibly…confused."
Santana put a supportive hand on Quinn's forearm. "Does it have to mean anything?" the brunette said simply, "…right now anyway…other than you having a wonderful person in your life to share things with?"
"But…I don't know what might happen if I'm around her again…and I don't know what to do with those thoughts," the blonde confessed.
"You think too much, Quinn…," Santana told her, "…stop thinking so much…and just let yourself feel something…and just let that guide you."
Quinn took a shaky breath, the butterflies in her stomach replaced by a huge knot, "…yeah…maybe."
Author's note: I hope everyone read this section with an open mind. Please be sure to let me know your thoughts, but if you are not quite sure what you think about recent developments, I hope you'll trust my instincts on certain aspects of this story. As always, I appreciate each one of you! Thanks, KB