Author's note: Thank you so much for your enthusiasm for this story! I love it when readers leave notes to tell me they enjoyed a reference to a song or a book or a college or a poet or when they have strong feelings about certain characters or their motivations. That is very cool to me, so please don't hesitate to post something personal that jumps out at you. Hugs to each of you. :)
HER SMILE HEALS ME (CHAPTER 13)
By mamatots
October, 2008
"Boo!"
"Santana!" Brittany screamed out as she was startled stepping out of the bathroom into her bedroom. She turned to give a playful punch to Santana's shoulder.
"Ahahaha…I got you good…you must have jumped three feet off the ground," the brunette laughed at the reaction she got from the tall blonde.
"It's not funny…that movie really scared me, Tan," Brittany told her with a serious look on her freshly-cleaned, freckled face.
"Britt…when you pick a movie called 'Saw'…you should pretty much expect a blood bath," Santana said matter-of-factly, following Brittany over to the bed and climbing under the covers.
"Well, when you told me the choices…I thought that one was about a lumberjack," Brittany said credulously, pulling her long legs up on the other side of the double bed.
"A lumberjack…what?" Santana looked at her with confusion as she did often.
"You know…with the ax…and the blue ox?" the young blonde smiled.
"An ax is just as scary as a chainsaw, don't you think?" Santana tried to make the connection.
"No, lumberjacks are from Minnesota…they are very friendly people, Santana," Brittany explained, "…and so is his ox."
Santana shook her head, "Brittany Susan Pierce…you always make me smile."
"What did I say?"
"It's not always what you say…," Santana smiled widely at the blonde, laying her head over in her lap and looking up at the sparkle in Brittany's blue eyes, "…it's just…how you say what you say, I guess."
"Hmm…well, you've been the only one who seems to understand what or how I say things," Brittany said somewhat sadly, pushing a strand of raven-colored hair out of Santana's face, "…everyone else just laughs and makes fun."
"Don't ever worry about what other people say to you, Britt…besides…," Santana sat back up, leaning over to give her a squeeze, "…we'll always have each other's backs…right?"
"Right," Brittany leaned her head onto Santana's shoulder.
"Ok, it's way late…get the lamp so we can sleep," Santana requested, adjusting the two pillows on her side of the bed.
"I'm too scared to turn off the light…," Brittany said, wrinkling her nose.
"Britt…I'm tired…and we've got all-day cheer practice tomorrow."
"Snuggle me then?" Brittany asked innocently.
"What…?" Santana asked, not sure she understood her best friend's request.
"I'll turn the light out if you promise to keep me safe from that jigsaw puppet thingy, ok?"
Santana turned over to face Brittany, taking in a deep breath, "…yeah, ok."
Santana swallowed hard as she watched Brittany lean to turn off the small lamp on the bedside table, the room suddenly lit only by the soft glow of an outside street lamp. The brunette waited patiently for the blonde to settle down under the comforter, facing outward and pulling her pillow up under her chin as she always did when she was first falling asleep. Santana knew that fact well, having watched closely many times. Once Brittany seemed comfortable, Santana closed the distance between them, spooning right up behind her and draping her right arm tightly over the blonde's lean, long body.
Brittany surprised Santana by covering her arm with her own, interlocking their fingers, and molding herself even closer into the Latina's body behind her. Santana tried to take in another deep settling breath, feeling the air catch momentarily in her chest, her pulse racing. She closed her eyes a moment, taking in the warmth of Brittany's backside pressed firmly into Santana's abdomen. The two of them had physical contact all the time in dance class, gymnastics, especially with both of them being together on the cheerleading squad, and even in their daily friendship, but Santana noticed more and more that her heart seemed to skip a beat or two in quiet moments like this with Brittany.
Even as Santana's mind worked through the thoughts flying around inside it, she caught herself unintentionally leaning into her best friend, breathing the faint scent of her sun-kissed hair.
After a few moments, Santana realized Brittany was asleep. She listened to the soft sound of Brittany's even breaths and felt their arms moving in unison with the gentle rise and fall of Brittany's chest. The Latina licked at her dry lips and swallowed hard again as she noticed in the dim light that there was a small, exposed part of Brittany's neck where her long hair had fallen away. Everything inside Santana, for some intrinsic reason, wanted to kiss the blonde on her exposed skin.
Why do you do this to me, Britt…Santana asked herself. Her mind battled itself for another moment or two before she finally leaned into Brittany and lightly placed a kiss on her neck, breathing deep the scent of coconut shampoo before resting her head on the back part of Brittany's pillow. I love you, Brittany Pierce was Santana's last thought before she too drifted into sleep.
June, 2011
Stop me on the corner
I swear you hit me like a vision
I, I, I wasn't expecting
But who am I to tell fate where it's supposed to
go with it
Don't you blink, you might miss it
See we got a right to just love it or leave it
You find it and keep it
'Cause it ain't every day you get the chance to
say
Oh, this is how it starts, lighting strikes the heart
It goes off like a gun, brighter than the sun
Oh, it could be the stars falling from the sky
Shining how we want, brighter than the sun
I never seen it, but I found this love, I'm gonna feed it
You better believe I'm gonna treat it
Better than anything I've ever had
'Cause you're so damn beautiful
Read it, it's signed and delivered, let's seal it
…we go together like peanuts and paydays
Marley and reggae
And everybody needs to get a chance to say
Oh, this is how it starts, lighting strikes the heart
It goes off like a gun, brighter than the sun
Oh, it could be the stars falling from the sky
Shining how we want, brighter than the sun
Quinn pushed around the penne on her plate with her fork while listening to the song playing in the background of the restaurant.
"Is your dinner good?" Cate asked her with a cheery tone.
"Huh? Oh, yes…it's delicious," Quinn looked up and smiled.
The tall brunette laughed, "…well, you could've fooled me."
"No, it is…I'm sorry…perhaps I ate too much popcorn during the movie," Quinn offered.
"Perhaps…," Cate added, "…but you are a million miles away right now too."
Truth was Quinn had very much enjoyed seeing Grand Hotel at the restored theater downtown. She and Cate had even managed to squeeze in an entire conversation about the tragic life and death of Elliot Smith in their walk from the theater across the street to the Italian restaurant to wait for a table. She was so lost in their easy-flowing conversation, Quinn hadn't even given a thought to what any of the other movie patrons or restaurant diners might be observing between them. Until now…
Quinn placed her fork down in her plate and wiped at the corners of her mouth with her napkin, placing it back in her lap, "I don't mean to be…I apologize."
"Do you want to talk about what's on your mind?"
Quinn gave the older girl a half-smile, "I'm not sure I'd know where to start."
"Ok…well…try the beginning," Cate encouragingly smiled back.
The blonde paused in hesitation, "…this is a date, isn't it?"
Cate pushed aside a strand of brown hair which had fallen into her pretty face, hiding the crystal blue of her right eye, "Not if you don't want it to be."
Quinn looked down and drew in a deep breath.
"Quinn, listen…I'm sorry if something is making you uncomfortable," Cate told her, setting her fork down.
"I've never done this before," Quinn looked back up.
Cate's eyes narrowed in confusion, "…eaten pasta?"
"…been out with a girl," the teen corrected.
Cate's face froze for a moment in an expression that Quinn could not quite read.
"Should I have told you that before tonight?" Quinn asked for clarification.
"I made a very huge assumption, didn't I?" the brunette smiled awkwardly.
"You assumed I'm…what? Gay?" Quinn wasn't sure what to think, "Why?…because I'm friends with Santana?"
"Look…I'm very sorry…let's just pay and get out of here, ok?"
"Stop…," Quinn put her hand over Cate's as she reached for the bill, "…I never said I wasn't having a good time with you, Cate. In fact…I always have a wonderful time with you."
"Ok…now I'm confused."
"Join the club…," Quinn let out a chuckle.
The taller girl smiled and pulled back her hand, setting it nervously in her lap. She took a moment to look Quinn up and down before saying, "You know, Quinn Fabray…you're totally throwing me off my game here."
"Good…now we both don't know what to do next."
"Is it okay to tell you that I can't stop thinking about you since we met Friday night?" Cate smiled sheepishly.
"Only if it's okay to tell you that I can still feel your lips on mine," Quinn blushed.
"Thank you," Brittany handed some cash to the taxi driver before sliding out of the backseat behind Santana.
The two walked hand in hand up the Berry driveway then stepped up on the front porch. Brittany looked back as the white cab pulled away from the curb. Santana put her hand on the doorknob but hesitated a moment as to whether she should still consider this her home. Trust had always been such a huge issue for the young Latina…especially since so many people had disappointed her in her life. Everyone but Brittany…she thought to herself, looking up at the tall blonde standing next to her.
"Are you going to open it?" Brittany asked matter-of-factly.
Santana slowly twisted the knob. Locked. Damn. Santana had no keys on her. In fact, she had nothing on her…no keys, no cell phone, no clothes…nothing.
"Should I knock?" Santana looked to Brittany for guidance.
"That's probably better than breaking a window," Brittany joked.
Santana rolled her eyes though Brittany couldn't see it in the dim lighting. She reached up and knocked on the wooden door.
After a solid minute, the porch light turned on above them then the door opened.
"Santana…come inside," Daniel did not seem too surprised to see her there, and he ushered the girls into the house, looking back for anyone outside before closing the door behind him.
They all moved through the hallway toward the entrance of the living room.
"Your father just called from the hospital…they've contacted the police," Daniel informed them, "…do you realize how much trouble you are creating for yourself?"
"Daniel, it was my idea…don't blame Santana…please," Brittany said boldly.
"And what are you doing here anyway…your parents are going to be very upset too," Daniel folded his arms in frustration.
"Dad…," Rachel interjected as she stepped off the stairs behind them, "…go easy on them…they obviously came here for help."
"Don't you start too…," Daniel looked toward the couch where his partner sat, "…and do you have anything to add?"
"Everybody sit down and let's talk this through," Trey suggested, crossing his long legs at the knees.
As Brittany and Santana sat closely on one section of the couch and Rachel sat at their feet on the floor, Daniel sat on the edge of a club chair across from them all, running his hand through his dark, curly hair and pushing up on the frames of his glasses.
"Settle down, Daniel," Trey said calmly.
"How can I settle down when the police could show up here any minute, and we have two minors who should not be here?"
"Daniel…I had to leave the hospital…my parents plan to send me to that camp…it's not fair," Santana rationalized.
"Santana, sweetheart…you are having issues that you are clearly ill-equipped to handle…the professionals at the camp can help you learn better coping skills," Daniel lovingly explained.
"You're siding with them now?" Santana's emotions erupted.
Brittany pulled her love close to her to calm her, "Shh, honey…let's listen to him."
"I don't want to listen to that crap…I just want everyone to believe me when I say that I did not attempt suicide…I didn't!"
"We believe you, Santana," Rachel assured her, caressing the bottom of the larger girl's leg.
"Do you, Trey?" Santana asked, looking over at the dark-skinned man.
"Yes, dear…I do," he confirmed.
"Daniel…?" Santana pushed, needing the final bit of validation from the people she now considered her family.
"Yes, I believe you," he told her, "…but, I also know the fear that I felt when I found you unconscious…I don't want you to ever be in that much danger again."
"Daniel…I'm sorry…I don't know what more to say," Santana's voice cracked with emotion.
"Santana, you don't have to apologize to me or to any of us…but this trial is only going to get harder for you…and I truly worry about how you are going to handle it."
"I don't see how it could get any harder, Dad…if she's made it this far…then…," Rachel started.
"Daniel…you need to tell her the latest," Trey advised his partner.
"Why…what's going on now?" Santana sat up straight, her defenses immediately at the ready.
"Santana…the DA's office has some problems with their case against Karofsky…," Daniel stated cautiously.
"What do you mean?" she asked for clarification.
"Some of the evidence the police gathered has been ruled inadmissible by Judge Bradford," Daniel explained.
"Like what?" the anxiety in Santana's voice was evident.
"…some of the crime scene photos were deemed...for lack of a better explanation 'stale'…"
"'Stale'? As in old?...why?" Rachel asked.
"The judge ruled that too much time passed between the rape and the evidence being collected," Daniel explained further.
Santana sat frozen on the couch.
"Well…we all talked to the police too…doesn't that help?" Brittany asked.
"Witness statements are not enough…they're all circumstantial…ADA Cole needs tangible evidence to present to Judge Bradford by next week…or he may dismiss the charges."
"What? He can't do that!" Santana's voice rose in the small room.
"This is exactly what I was talking about Santana…you get so upset…understandably so…but it is difficult to talk to you about any of this without worrying how this will affect you," Daniel warned.
Brittany rubbed Santana on the back until her body relaxed some.
"What's tangible mean?" Brittany asked.
"Finger prints or any items from that night, like her dress…but all of that was destroyed."
"Her dress wasn't destroyed," Brittany said innocently, "I have it."
All heads turned to look at the blonde.
"You have the dress? Why didn't you give it to the police, Brittany?" Daniel asked.
"Well…nobody asked for it," she stated as if that made perfect sense to her.
"We need to get it…where is it now?"
"In a box in my closet."
"Do you think your mom would let me in to get it…if I said I needed something from your room?" Rachel proposed.
"Yeah, probably…I'll call her and let her know to expect you tomorrow…will that work?"
They looked at Daniel who nodded.
"I need to get something from my room, ok?" Santana said to Brittany as she pulled out her cell phone.
Brittany nodded as she dialed her home number, putting the phone to her ear and waiting as it rang several times.
"Hello?"
"Mom?"
"Brittany…I was about to call you," Mrs. Pierce stated, "Are you where you can talk a moment?"
Brittany looked around, knowing internally that her parents would be extremely upset if they knew she was in Lima, "Yeah…sure…what's up?"
"I wasn't sure if I should upset you with this information…but you deserve to know."
"Is something wrong?" Brittany wasn't sure where her mom was going with the conversation.
"It's Santana…she's okay now, so don't worry…but she's in the hospital."
"Oh god!" Brittany thought it was best to play along since her mom had no knowledge of Brittany's involvement, "What happened, Mom?"
"Apparently she overdosed on some prescription medication," Mrs. Pierce said cautiously, "Her mother called me…she wanted to make sure you knew…I thought it was very sweet of her."
"Yeah…sweet," Brittany couldn't hide her bitterness very well, "Thank you for telling me, Mom…I really appreciate it…I'll call Santana to check on her."
"I love you, honey…and don't worry…I'll check on her too, ok?"
"Wait, what?"
"I'll go by the hospital tomorrow and see how she's feeling…I know how hard it is for you to be away from her…I'll give her a hug for you."
Brittany's face lost all expression as her mind started racing. She swallowed hard and said, "Sounds great…thank you."
"Oh, Britt…what did you call about?"
"Huh? Oh…um, Rachel Berry is going to come by there tomorrow. She needs to borrow something. She knows where to look for it, ok?"
"Oh, ok…I'll tell your dad too in case she comes when I'm not here."
"Thank you."
"How is camp going?"
"Awesome," Brittany's mouth was dry now, and she noticed her hands were shaking.
"Did you ever get your grade on your first week?"
"Uh, yeah…my class ranked number one," she told her mom.
"That's wonderful, honey!"
Brittany looked up to see Santana coming down the last half of the staircase with a backpack and a duffle bag.
"Thanks…ok, I better go now, Mom," Brittany said as the doorbell rang.
"Is that a doorbell?" Mrs. Pierce asked with a strangeness to her tone.
"Yeah…on TV…I'll talk to you later, ok? Love you, bye!" Brittany said quickly, hanging up the cell phone and grabbing her backpack.
Daniel looked out the peep hole in the front door, turning around to whisper, "Police officers."
Rachel turned to Santana, "Go out through the backyard…there's a path down by the tree that leads to the street behind us…it's not far to Quinn's house if you stay on Hillcrest until it crosses Highmont."
"Ok, thanks," Santana handed her duffle bag to Brittany then turned back around to quickly hug Rachel, "Love you."
Rachel's eyes lit up, and she squeezed back, saying, "Love you back…so please stay safe…now go!"
"Awww…no way! He was out!"
"That ref is blind…he wouldn't be able to tell a baseball from his own balls!"
"David, don't be crude…and feet off of the coffee table please," Mrs. Karofsky instructed, bringing into the living room an older, dumpy man who wore a brown, tweed blazer and a burgundy bowtie and carried a worn-looking, leather briefcase.
"Thomas…what brings you here at this hour?" Mr. Karofsky put the footrest of his recliner down and stood up to shake the hand of the shorter man.
"I come with good news," Thomas Lowell said with as much enthusiasm as an overworked attorney could have at 9 pm on a Tuesday night.
"Well…by all means…share it with us…I think we could use a little good news since this game is obviously beyond resuscitation," David's father looked down at this son and laughed knowingly, "Son, mute the volume."
Thomas took a seat, placing his leather satchel at his feet, on a floral loveseat across from the couch where David Karofsky sat. "I think your quote/unquote victim may be in a quicker decline than her case against you."
"What does that mean?" David asked, lowering his feet to the ground, careful not to bang the black, electronic box affixed to his ankle, and sitting upright on the couch.
"Santana Lopez is in the hospital from a drug overdose," the older man announced victoriously.
David's father clasped his hands together in front of his broad chest, "Wonderful!"
"Wait…is she ok?" David asked with a concerned tone.
"Does it matter, David…the point is we can totally spin this in our favor," Thomas looked toward the elder Karofsky and placed a hand to his chest in a sarcastic mock of concern, "…Clearly Ms. Lopez – though she has our deepest sympathy, Your Honor – is quite mentally unstable…and though we are confident the Court will find the appropriate treatment to recommend to this desperate young lady…we respectfully request that the Court intervene immediately to stop this injustice against David whose only transgression here is attempting to befriend and show affection toward a very troubled classmate."
"Excellent defense, my friend…," Mr. Karofsky bellowed with hearty laughter and applause, "…Your merit is certainly adding up to your outrageous price tag."
Thomas joined in the jovial atmosphere by standing and giving a mini bow to his audience, "Ah, but as I told you when you hired me…you cannot put value on freedom or peace of mind."
"True…very true," Mrs. Karofsky agreed with a smile.
"If you don't need me for anything then I'm going to bed now," David said as he stood abruptly.
"Son, why so glum? There is finally a light at the end of the tunnel…," his father asked him.
"It's just that…nevermind…goodnight."
"David…," Mr. Karofsky called out to him, "…what is your problem?"
David Karofsky stood at the doorway of his living room, looking across at his parents and his attorney. Everything in him told him he should be relieved to somehow climb out of this hole he found himself buried in, but he was only filled with disgust. The expression on his father's face was the same one David saw time and time again when he listened to his father mumble some ethnic slur or homophobic remark or make some biting commentary on the liberal media and its influence on the youth of today and its role in the destruction of morality.
David's insides burned with the kind of self-hatred that came from not being able to lift enough weights or punch enough walls or scream out enough times in the privacy of his car to make his mind stop thinking of guys in a sexual way. He hated himself for not being a real man…or at least the kind of man his father ingrained in him was the only acceptable form of a man.
"David, say what it is you have to say…," his father challenged him.
David knew his father did not actually mean for him to speak his mind. His father never wanted to know his thoughts or opinions on anything…unless it was just a mirror image of his own statements. So for years, that was all David had shown to his parents, knowing how angry his father would be and how hurt his mother would feel if they ever found out he had thoughts that were different…immoral. Yet, he stood there in his home, finally feeling more disgust for them than he did for himself.
"I just don't like how you're making Santana seem so wacked out…I mean, she's a human being, you know…," David said.
"David, she is lying about you…if she is willing to lie than why should we feel any sympathy for her?" his mother asked.
"Because…she's not!" David froze under a flood of images in his memory, sweat forming on his brow and a sick feeling twisting inside his gut, before his natural instinct to preserve himself kicked in,"…she's not…crazy…like you're making her seem."
David turned to leave the room, mumbling under his breath, "I just don't think she deserves that…not after what I did to her."
Cate opened the passenger door to the small truck and stepped aside for Quinn to slide out.
"Thank you," Quinn smiled up at the tall, slender brunette, watching as Cate shut the door behind her.
The two walked silently side by side up the rest of the long driveway before stepping onto the decorative pathway that snaked its way to Quinn's front door. Their arms brushed lightly together as they moved, and after several steps, Quinn gently slipped her hand inside Cate's, folding her fingers delicately into a timid squeeze.
Cate's lips turned upward into a small smile that Quinn could not see.
As the two of them stepped up on the stone porch, Quinn let go of Cate's hand to pull out a key from her small purse, turning around to face the older girl. "I really enjoyed tonight," she said with a broad smile, "I'm sorry I made it sort of awkward there at the end."
"No worries, ok?" Cate assured her.
"I'm filled with worry all of the time…that's something you should probably know about me up front."
"All of the time?" Cate cocked her head to the side.
"Well…most of the time…," Quinn amended, "…my friends tell me I think way too much."
"What are you thinking about right now?"
Quinn paused and looked down. Cate could see in the moonlight that Quinn was visible shaking, but Cate stood there quietly, waiting for a response.
Finally, Quinn looked up, biting nervously at the left-hand corner of her lower lip, and responded, "How I really hope you'll kiss me again."
Cate smiled, taking a step toward her and putting her hands around Quinn's trim waist. She pulled her closer and leaned down to kiss Quinn softly on her lips.
"And what are you thinking now?" Cate asked, barely above a whisper.
Quinn hooked her index fingers in the belt loops on Cate's jeans, pulling her back toward her. "Nothing now," she said before stretching up to kiss her back.
Cate wrapped her arms around the small of Quinn's back and deepened the kiss. Quinn's hands moved up to Cate's jawline as she leaned back against the frame of the doorway, feeling Cate's body move with hers…any distance between them was gone.
Quinn found herself completely lost in the moment until they both heard someone clear their throat nearby. Breaking apart, Cate turned around toward the noise as Quinn unconsciously wiped at her wet lips with the side of her hand.
"Sorry to interrupt…," Santana said with a smile.
"Santana, how are you out of the hospital?" Quinn asked with surprise in her voice then seeing Brittany standing next to her, she added with even more shock, "Brittany, what are you doing here?"
"I came home to check on Santana," the taller blonde responded as if it were obvious.
"Hi, I'm Cate…," the older girl introduced herself to Brittany.
Brittany's eyes were wide with astonishment at what she and Santana happened upon, but she smiled politely and said, "I'm Brittany…nice to meet you."
"You must be the girl who makes that one's face light up with just a text?" Cate pointed teasingly at Santana.
Santana smiled sheepishly and looped her arm with Brittany's arm, confirming, "Yeah…she's pretty awesome."
Brittany smiled back at her and winked.
"Um, so how exactly are you standing here right now, San?" Quinn refocused the foursome.
"Long story…but can we crash here tonight?"
Quinn looked over at Cate who nodded, saying, "Hey, I'm going to take off and let you guys do your thing…unless you need help with something?"
"We'll be ok…I think…," Quinn looked back at Brittany and Santana with confused apprehension.
"Ok..well, I'm just a phone call away…," Cate added reassuringly, looking directly at Santana.
"Thank you, Cate," Santana responded.
"I'm very glad you are going to be ok," the older girl told Santana with a smile as the Latina nodded back at her.
"Thank you again for tonight," Quinn said sweetly as Cate stepped off the porch, looking back to wave knowingly at her.
The three teens watched as Cate got back in the small truck, started the ignition, and backed out of the driveway before driving away.
"Q, we should probably get inside…like now," Brittany suggested.
Once Quinn opened the heavy wooden door with her house key, the three of them quickly went inside. Santana pushed aside the white fabric covering a slender pane of glass on one side of the doorway. Seeing nothing unusual, she turned toward the two blondes, "Looks like we made it."
"What the hell is going on with you two?" Quinn wanted to know.
"I think we could ask you the same thing…," Brittany said with a giant grin.
"Just hang out in here in the morning," Quinn instructed, "I'll let you know as soon as my mom leaves for her meeting."
"I want to go by my mom's bank first, ok?" Santana told her.
"She just gave you that check?" Quinn asked.
"Yeah, right after they threw me out…," Santana said with bitterness.
Brittany put her arm around Santana's shoulders and squeezed her lovingly, "It's good you have it now."
"What are you going to do after you get that money?"
"Make sure Brittany gets back to Michigan," Santana said firmly.
"Santana…don't worry about me right now…," Brittany tried.
"Well, somebody needs to…you're too busy worrying about me."
"Listen, let's all stop worrying for tonight and get some rest, ok?" Quinn suggested. She leaned in to hug Santana, "I'm very glad you're alive…you scared us, you know?"
"Yeah, I know…I'm really sorry," Santana said, hugging her tightly.
"We love you, Santana," Quinn told her, "…so don't do it again!"
The Latina smiled and nodded her agreement.
Quinn pulled away then hugged Brittany, "I'm glad to see you too…and I'm really glad you're here…for her sake."
"Thank you for all your help, Quinn."
"Save your thanks until we successfully pull off this crazy scheme," Quinn warned as she moved toward the door of the guest bedroom, turning back around to add, "…oh and girls…please keep the reunion quiet tonight…my mom is not that sound of a sleeper."
"HaHa…but I am locking this door…just in case...," Santana joked, moving behind her to lock the door, "Goodnight, Quinn."
"Sweet lady-kissing dreams, Quinn," Brittany added with a giggle.
Quinn turned back around, deadpanned, "You are not funny. Goodnight."
Brittany watched as Santana kicked off her sneakers then pulled off her pants. The blonde noted that Santana must have changed out of the lightweight hospital slippers when she went up to her bedroom at the Berrys. She smiled when the dark-haired beauty turned around and caught her staring.
"Do I look as awful as I feel?" Santana asked.
"Worse…," Brittany teased with a twinkle in her bright blue eyes.
"Geez…thanks, love…," Santana retorted as she pulled her t-shirt over her head and let it fall to the ground with the pants Brittany had given her at the hospital.
"Now you look better," Brittany winked, enjoying the sight of Santana's exposed breasts.
Santana crawled under the covers next to the blonde's warm body, immediately curling her arms around Brittany, laying her cheek against her smooth, exposed skin.
Brittany reached up a long arm to pull the silver chain on the bedside lamp, leaving the spacious guest room softly lit by moonlight coming in through the shear curtains on the oversized window. She lowered her arm and wrapped it tightly around Santana.
"I missed you so much," Santana told her, hearing her voice echo slightly against Brittany's chest.
There was no response which seemed odd to the Latina, but as she lay there next to Brittany, she heard soft sniffling.
"Hey…are you crying, babe?" Santana lifted her head to look up at Brittany.
"I'm sorry…," Brittany said as she wiped at her face.
"Why are you upset?" Santana kissed her lightly then laid her cheek against Brittany's cheek.
"I thought you were going to die, Tan…and then I thought if you did then I might as well just die right along with you," Brittany's voice caught in her throat.
"I am so sorry…I never meant to scare you or hurt you like that," Santana teared up at the pain she caused the person she loved the most, "I was just being stupid…and weak."
"You aren't stupid or weak, honey…but, I don't know…," Brittany squeezed tighter for emotional support, "…maybe Daniel is right…maybe you do need more help than you're getting."
Santana closed her eyes and allowed herself to be held tightly by Brittany for a minute or two, thinking. "Will you go with me to see Dr. Shane tomorrow? I have an appointment at eleven."
"Anything, honey…anything at all," Brittany assured her, "I love you so much…I just want you to get better."
Silence hung briefly in the air before Santana asked, "Do you even remember what it felt like for things to be simple?"
Brittany didn't answer at first, thinking of nights when the two of them would just hold each other for simple comfort until they both fell asleep…even before their private time together became more complex with sex. "Do you know something I remember…?" she offered.
"Tell me…," Santana wanted desperately to remember those days.
"I remember nights when you would spoon me from behind…you were so warm and so protective…and right as I would fall asleep, I'd feel you kiss me on the back of my neck…it always sent electricity down my spine."
Santana instantly flushed, her secret finally brought to the surface, but she paused...mentally reminding herself it no longer mattered if it was a secret. Those feelings never needed to be hidden ever again. She was holding the only thing in the world that matter, and she could freely kiss her anytime she wanted.
Santana lifted her head and kissed Brittany softly on her neck, a warm feeling rushing through her entire body, then she placed her head back down on Brittany's shoulder, asking, "You really felt those?"
Brittany pulled Santana even closer to her chest, closing her tired eyes and thinking back, she confirmed, "Every single time."
Author'snote: I do try to get these updates done quickly, but we are at a point in this story where there is a lot going on. I appreciate your patience. I also really appreciate your feedback. It keeps me motivated to know what you guys are thinking, so please take a moment to leave a review. (oh, and the song in this chapter is Colbie Caillat, Brighter Than the Sun) Thank you to each one of you! Kim