Author's Note: Chapter 48 dramatizes the part of Sevat's evening with Uhura he chose not to share with Spock. Afterwards, the chapter depicts Spock, alone in his bed, reflecting on his need for the East African.
As always, your comments are appreciated.
Late in the evening at Berkeley's Cesar Chavez Park, Sevat marveled at the tinge of satisfaction he felt as Spock turned from him without saying a word and began to walk away. Apparently, Sevat surmised, Spock had heard enough about my outing with Nyota.
Still, Sevat called off to him in a voice loud enough for Spock to hear, "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few."
Sevat did not immediately leave the park, but lingered there to once again reflect on the sensation of being touched by a human; the first time he had ever experienced such an event. And, although a paper napkin served as a barrier, it was the gesture itself that gave him pause. He wondered, How could such a simple act be the cause of so much . . . delight?"
As Sevat finally began to walk out of the park, he recalled Spock's abrupt departure. However, his own content disposition sobered as he realized his fellow Vulcan would probably have had a different reaction if he had been privy to the rest of the story of his experience with the Cadet.
As Sevat drove Uhura back to the Academy campus in his vehicle, out of the corner of his eye he could see she appeared to be in deep in contemplation. He remarked, "What is the ancient Terran saying? A penny for your thoughts?"
The comment met its purpose, as it served to stir the East African. "I'm sorry." She said. "I suppose I haven't been very good company since I've gotten into the car."
"Are you sure you would not want to share a pot of tea with me before heading back to your dorm? There actually are other establishments with acceptable tea selections, besides the House of Diarmuid if you would rather not go there."
"I would think you would be tired of me." She commented good-naturedly. "We've been spending so much time together lately, I thought you might be anxious to have some time to yourself."
"I am only thinking of your best interests, Nyota. After the semester ends, you will once again be at the mercy of the suspect talents of the Academy linguistic faculty."
"Sevat, the Academy Linguistic Department really isn't as as bad as your statement implies."
"My intention was not to imply, but to state a fact. I cannot truthfully find any advantage to submitting to their guidance for your dissertation research."
"Sevat, whether I agree with your assessment or not, it is the circumstance in which I find myself. It would do me little good to disparage those upon which I must rely for counsel while I research, write, and finally defend my dissertation."
"Nyota, is that what is consuming your thoughts, since we left the restaurant? Concerns about your thesis?" Sevat asked.
"No." She answered without hesitation. "It's not that at all. I must admit your work with me has proven to strengthen my confidence in the process. Your guidance has been one of the major reasons I have no significant issues regarding my dissertation."
"In that case, if you would like to discuss the actual offending matter with me, I can spare the time." Sevat offered.
"I'm really not at liberty to discuss it, Sevat. And, to be honest, there is nothing offensive about it. In fact, it really is quite marvelous!"
Sevat could hear the unmistaken joy in her voice. He initially thought he should drop the matter, but another voice urged him to press on.
"What possibly could it be that undoubtedly brings you such happiness and, yet, must be kept hidden? Should you not share your secret so others may partake in this pleasure?"
Uhura smiled, and responded. "You don't know how difficult it has been for me not to tell it. Not even the precious ones - my closest friends – know anything about it. Oh, how I want to stand on a rooftop and shout out the news at the top of my lungs!"
Sevat suggested, "Nyota, I would think the Internet would provide a more efficient means to distribute your news."
The Vulcan did not expect to hear her respond with such a hearty laugh. However, it pleased him to hear the sound.
"I will be sure to take your advice when the time comes." Uhura managed to say after the laughter subsided.
"Nyota, do you by any chance practice the meditative arts?"
"Not anything as intensive as the Vulcan tradition. Why do you ask?"
"For a human, I find you to be relatively even-tempered."
"Oh." She laughed lightly. "I wouldn't say I consistently convey that temperament; however, I do try my best not to allow my mood to go to the extremes if I can help it."
"Then, to what would you credit this preferable disposition?"
"I suppose it's my faith." She confessed.
"What effect does your belief system have on your deportment?"
Despite encouragement from Christian friends, Uhura did not often discuss her religious beliefs in any detail to those outside her faith. However, to Uhura, Sevat appeared genuinely interested.
"Whenever something is bothering me, I know just where to turn for insight." Uhura told him. "I quiet myself and take a few cleansing breaths. I then focus on the rise and fall of my chest and abdomen as I inhale and exhale. As I go deeper within myself, I experience my oneness with God. At that moment I am reminded every cell in my body is filled with God's life force. Every aspect of who I am is an expression of God's creation. I am at peace knowing that I am one with my source."
Sevat appeared to reflect on her statement for a few moments, before stating, "If this philosophy assists in finding you serenity, your religious beliefs are, indeed, a worthwhile pursuit."
When the Vulcan saw Uhura's smile spread across her face, Sevat knew he had pleased her even before her heartfelt - Thank You – was voiced. He now sensed her body relax fully beside him, as she released a gentle sigh. Although they rode in silence for the next several minutes, Sevat did not detect the same concerns she seemed to project while earlier riding in the car. The fact that Uhura appeared to be truly at ease with him pleased Sevat more than he would have thought possible.
The Vulcan stopped the car outside the Academy campus gates. And, when Uhura did not immediately deliver departing words and leave the car, the promise of the moment seemed to lighten his spirits even more. That is, until she told him what was on her mind.
Uhura asked, "Sevat, may I ask you a question that admittedly has nothing to do with my studies?"
"Nyota, I would like to believe our relationship has progressed to a point where that question would appear unnecessary."
The Cadet hesitated, as if unsure if she should proceed. Yet, she could not resist making her inquiry.
"I was just wondering if you've seen Mr. Spock, lately."
"Spock?" Sevat said, trying his best not to betray the disappointment in his tone. "I would think you would have more of an opportunity than I, since you share the same campus."
"As you know, Mr. Spock and I are not in the same discipline, so there are few reasons why I would venture into the physical sciences complex. Moreover, over the past few weeks, I have spent much more time with you in Berkeley than I have at the Academy. I thought since you and Mr. Spock were childhood friends, perhaps, you may have taken the opportunity to visit each other during the weekends."
Sevat studied Uhura. He knew Spock had advised her not to make contact with him until he told her otherwise. She obviously yearned for any information she could gleam during this mutually agreed upon banishment. Yet, Sevat would not easily grant her desire to know.
"To be frank, Nyota, neither Spock nor I would ever refer to our youthful relationship as having any resemblance to friendship." The Vulcan commented. "However, I am curious why you have expressed an interest in Spock's current well-being?"
Uhura hesitated, as if surprised he questioned her motive. Then, she retorted, "Besides being one of my former instructors, I served as Mr. Spock's Course Assistant and, remember, he was gracious enough to sit in on one of our social language sessions at the House of Diarmuid."
"I believe you once told me you toiled in servitude to Spock for only a term and took the first position available in another department."
"That is not exactly how I put it, Sevat."
"Was the outcome not the same?"
"Yes, I left the internship position in Mr. Spock's office after only one term, because it was more logical to do so in terms of my studies."
"Nyota, you need not make excuses for Spock. His current Course Assistant Cadet Goldberg appears to jump at the sight of his supervisor's shadow. I am sure it was no different for you."
"That is not how I would describe my experience."
"Then, please enlighten me."
"Mr. Spock can be quite a demanding taskmaster, but that's only because he wants the best from his students and assistants. While there have no doubt been conflicts and misunderstandings due in part to cultural differences, no one I know regrets ever having taking a course from him or serving on his staff."
"Spock certainly has successfully identified ways to create uncommon loyalty among those he supervises." Sevat remarked with a sarcastic edge. "Tell me, Nyota, what is his secret?"
Nyota she said nothing for several moments, as if trying to calm her rising ire. She finally told him, "With Federation Founders Day only a few days away, I won't have any time to meet with you. We are practicing a number of drills and, as one of the Academy Ambassadors, I'm on call to give tours upon request to visiting dignitaries. So, I better get going and not waste any more of your time, tonight."
Uhura opened the car door and began to climb out, when she heard words that suddenly stopped her progress.
"He spends a lot of time in her company." Sevat knew he did not have to say T'Lau's name and Uhura asked for no clarification.
The Vulcan continued, "Of course, it is understandable. After all, I understand he leads the committee overseeing the construction and operation of critical systems on the newest flagship of Starfleet. And, T'Lau is the Project Manager for one of those vital systems. Since my arrival to the Bay area to take on my academic appointment, I have had the occasion to see T'Lau and Spock together under professional, as well as, social circumstances. However, that too is also logical since they do have so much in common. Born into families acquainted with each other for centuries, the couple also shares a common heritage, culture, and race."
Sevat noted how Uhura had not made any effort to move away from earshot. He now felt emboldened to provide the final twist of his knife. "It certainly would be no surprise to me, if Spock and T'Lau continued to build upon this apparent compatibility to forge a relationship of a more intimate and long-lasting nature."
Uhura turned her head back to him, but her eyes were not filled with the tears he had expected. "Thank you for such a detailed report, Sevat." She told him in a strong, clear voice. "I am so pleased to know Mr. Spock is well."
Still, Sevat tested her. "When you return to your living quarters, it must be comforting to know you can call upon your God for companionship. How satisfying, as well as, convenient it must be to have a spirit at your service to keep you warm at night."
"Oh, yes, my God is ever present." She replied in a tone still unshaken by the Vulcan's comments. "However, tonight, it seems like it would be more appropriate to take a nice . . . long . . . hot . . . shower to remove the filth of the day. Good evening, Sevat."
The Vulcan watched as she strutted away from the car and never looked back. His eyes stayed on her until she was no longer in his sight.
This female is like none I have ever met, Vulcan or human. Why does she affect me so? Sevat asked himself, as he drove away from the Academy gates. And, while I do not subscribe to the concept of providence, perhaps, the events of the next few days will bring me good fortune. For chances are, Spock will not survive the mission. When that happens, it will take little effort to usurp her God's place in order to serve as her most welcome comforter.
12:13 AM . . .
Spock lay on his bed, under a sheet and coverlet.
T'Lau . . .
The imposter called him 47 minutes ago, soon after he completed his nightly meditation.
"Pardon me, Spock, for calling so late." She told him. "With all of the scheduled activities regarding the ceremonial launch of the Enterprise, I attempted to retire to my bed earlier than usual. However, thus far, I have failed to acquire even a minute of sleep."
"Your apology is unnecessary. If there is an issue with the Enterprise, you know you should contact me without hesitation."
"I must confess, my restlessness has nothing to do with the Starship. Have not the trial runs of the ship proven the sound operation of her systems?"
"According to all indications, that appears to be true." Spock concurred. "If no concern lies there, then what do you suppose has contributed to your anxiety this evening."
"I am afraid, my head is filled with thoughts of us and the true beginning of our life together."
Despite Spock's distaste for the subject, the Vulcan knew he could not waste the opportunity to acquire more information that might help him break the plot.
"You have demonstrated remarkable restraint, thus far, divulging little hint of your vision of our life to come. Could I at least be made aware of the hour, so I may properly prepare for this new adventure?"
"Knowing you the way I do, I am sure you have already made some preparations for this event."
"Yes." Spock replied without hesitation. "This is true."
"How it pleases me to hear this confirmation of your faith in our future." She responded.
Spock knew the delight he heard in her voice would quickly dissipate if she knew his preparations included changing the beneficiary of his Starfleet life insurance policy to Uhura. He also sent his attorney a data crystal containing details on altering his will to include the East African and set up a trust for his unborn child.
T'Lau continued. "You would think after waiting so long I would not be so anxious. Yet, I find myself growing more impatient by the moment as the time draws near."
"The communicator does little to mask the fervor you exude. Can I not be the recipient of any news that will foretell the source of such great expectations?"
"Soon, T'hy'la,1 there will be nothing I will not reveal to you. The seeds have long been planted for what is to come. In less than 72 hours, this quest will finally yield its glorious fruit."
Spock's conversation with the imposter only confirmed his previously made assumption the strike would be made on Founders Day. There was also little reason not to believe the terrorist act would involve the Enterprise – the centerpiece of the celebration.
The only momentarily solace Spock could claim from his talk with T'Lau was the lack of mention of Uhura and their child. Yet, the Vulcan knew he could not allow this neglect to lull him into believing a threat no longer existed for his family.
Sevat . . .
The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few . . .
Sevat's recitation of the Vulcan maxim was unnecessary. Spock knew what was required of him. He would not betray his oath to Starfleet. Yet, he did not know if he could expose the conspiracy before it inflicted its damage.
Spock also had to admit feeling more than a moment of envy at Sevat's recounting of his evening with Uhura. Spock missed these times when she would expose him to new experiences. He also did not appreciate Sevat allowing Uhura to remove particles of food from his face; an action he was more than capable of doing himself.
Spock did not blame Uhura for this violation of Vulcan decorum, because he was sure a human would believe the act was simply a gesture showing consideration to another being. However, in Spock's mind, Sevat knew better. Anyone watching such a display may get the wrong impression about their level of intimacy. Why would Sevat permit this to happen in public, no less?
Also, Spock was not pleased Sevat had continued to involve Uhura in solving the plot, under the pretense of it being part of an innocuous mystery game. Yet, he appreciated her line of reasoning. Despite the way Sevat seemed to quickly dismiss her analysis, Spock decided he would give it more thought.
Yet, the Vulcan resisted allowing concerns of the conspiracy to fill his head before his eyes were finally met with sleep. Others, calling upon his loyalties to Vulcan, Starfleet and the Federation, controlled so much of his time and his activities. Spock decided he would exert his own will in the privacy of his own bed.
Nyota . . .
At this moment there was only one word in his language . . .
And he hungrily called on it for his purpose . . .
Nyota . . .
The Vulcan not only acted as a participant . . .
But willingly embraced this strange alchemy . . .
That demanded her presence . . .
To bring him to the point . . .
Where there was no other way to express his passion . . .
But this . . .
Sweet . . .
Sweet . . .
Release . . .
He did not immediately seek to clean himself . . .
Or, set aside his lover's now soiled red scarf . . .2
He desired, instead, to indulge in the sensation of the remnants of his orgasm . . .
The act had become a nightly pastime . . .
A much needed nightly pastime . . .
For Vulcans, the act itself did not carry the stigma it held for many other cultures. In particular for those involved in monogamous relationships, it was seen as the preferable way to satisfy erotic desires in the absence of one's lover. Faithful in thought as well as sexual contact, it must be done without the aid of pornography or objects that were not originally in the possession of one's mate. This mode of conduct had not at been difficult for Spock to follow.
In fact, Spock no longer found anything else could arouse him, but the . . .
Thought of her . . .
Sight of her . . .
Smell of her . . .
Taste of her . . .
Touch of her . . .
It was only her . . .
My Nyota . . .
Who could bring him to that place . . .
That exulted place . . .
Hear me, Ashayam . . .3
I am the one who is weak . . .
For I know I must find a way to see you . . .
I must find a way to be with you . . .
If only for a few moments . . .
To bind that memory within my heart . . .
Before facing my unknown fate . . .
Now feeling his growing arousal . . .
Spock grasped the soiled red scarf in his hand . . .
For he knew his need would soon demand to be satisfied once more . . .
And, he declared aloud as if all could hear . . .
"If Nyota is my addiction . . .
She is, indeed, a habit I never desire to break."
Author's Note: Only three more chapters remain. OK – the author has made that claim before, but she has now outlined the remaining episodes and feels more confident about actually meeting that goal. In Chapter 49, Spock attempts to have a discussion with his father about why he married Amanda. Spock then seeks Nyota to spend what he knows may be his final moments with her.
Your comments are always appreciated.
1 "T'hy'la" is the Vulcan word for "Lover."
2 In my story, "Needs," Spock acquired Uhura's scarf when it was accidentally left among his mother's possessions after the two women had spent the day together. The Vulcan eventually returned a replica of the scarf to the East African. Later, Uhura learned he had retained the original article to use as an aid to masturbation.
3 "Ashayam" is the Vulcan word for "Beloved."