Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter or Harry Potter related copyrights.
James fled from the scene of his best mate and the girl he had set his sights on and was rapidly slipping from his grasp. He wasn't mad as he had previously been, nor was he distraught; he wasn't even jealous. He was just hurt. It hurt that Sirius would steal away his crush. If he couldn't trust his best mate, than whom could he trust?
James took one more look at what appeared to be the 'happy couple' behind him and decided just to go to bed and catch a few hours of sleep before he would have to face Sirius to receive the harsh truth about what was really going on between Sirius and Lily. Was Sirius lying when he said that the kiss with Lily had meant nothing to him?
-----
Sirius was the last one to crawl out of bed the next morning; though really it was afternoon by the time he decided to grace the world with his face.
He meandered down to lunch after a quick shower and sat down next to his friends after he waved to his latest girlfriend, who luckily had not been present at the party the night before.
"Morning," said Sirius as he grabbed a sandwich from the pile.
"It's one o'clock," said Remus grumpily.
"Sorry," said Sirius insincerely. "Good Afternoon."
Remus just rolled his eyes and returned to his book. James didn't comment, but kept on eating his sandwich. Peter looked like he wanted to say something, but couldn't decide which side he wanted to be on; it seemed as if all of his mates were in a bit of a spat.
James finished his sandwich only a minute after Sirius' arrival and promptly left without a word.
"What's eating him this fine morning?" asked Sirius.
"It's the afternoon!" yelled Remus as he shut his book with a slam and stormed out.
"Let's rephrase this, what's eating them this fine morning?" Sirius inquired of the only other Marauder left.
"I dunno; they've been acting like that all day."
"And you have no idea why?"
"Nope, they haven't said three words to me all day."
"Ok," said Sirius. "As long as they get over whatever it is before it's time for us to pull our last prank, I think I've got an idea for our good friend Snivellus…"
Peter grinned. He loved it when he wasn't the victim.
-----
Sirius and Peter were walking back from lunch and James was walking in the opposite direction. James bumped into Sirius rather violently and just continued walking without so much as a word of apology.
"Hey Potter, watch where you're going," Sirius, who had caught the anger bug from his friends, called out to the retreating form that was James Potter.
"I wouldn't waste the brainpower on the likes of you Black," retorted James, as he returned to the scene of the crime to continue what Sirius had verbally instigated.
"What's wrong with you; it's like you're bipolar or a hormonal girl!" shouted Sirius.
"At least I'm not a lying backstabbing coward!"
"What did you just say?" asked Sirius in a dangerous tone.
"What? Couldn't you comprehend that Black? I was just pointing out how closely related you really are to your family. I only just realized how much you share with them besides your last name."
James had done it; he had crossed the line right where he knew it would hurt Sirius most. That was the risk one always took when fighting with his or her best friend; they knew where every weakness was and how best to exploit it.
"You say that as if the Potters were any better! Everyone knows that the only reason you haven't been expelled yet is because Daddy has friends in high places! And of course mummy dearest would do anything to save her little baby boy from trouble!"
Sirius knew how much James idolized his parents and how much it would hurt James to think that they weren't perfect.
"At least my mother cares whether I live or die! Actually, at least my mother doesn't want to murder me with her own two hands! That's more than you can ever say!"
"You know what Potter? Maybe I should have listened to my parents! You Potters are all the same, groveling little brown-nosers with hidden agendas! All you care about is yourselves! The only thing my parents were wrong about was that blood doesn't make you better than others; in your case, it just allows you to use your heritage to influence the Ministry into thinking that you don't believe yourselves to be better while you really do! Then everyone thinks that the people who do place some value on family ties are evil!"
"Black, listen to yourself! Right now people are dying because of people like you and your family!"
"That hasn't been proven! You can't prove anything about those deaths! For all anyone knows they have just been a result of personal differences!"
"So I'm supposed to believe that it's only a coincidence that everyone who is dead is muggle-born?!"
"So what? I say we get rid of the lot of them! Wizards survived for hundreds of years without letting in mudbloods, I don't know why anyone felt the need to change that!"
"So why don't you prove your point and kill your new girlfriend?!" James challenged.
Sirius was thrown off. "What are you babbling about now Potter?"
"I guess I'll have to refresh your memory; Evans is muggle-born!"
"What does that have to do with anything?"
"I don't see how you could be dating someone that you claim you want to eradicate from the wizarding community!"
"I'm not dating Lily," said Sirius in a voice that had returned to its normal volume.
"Sure, Black, whatever you want to tell yourself."
"Is that what you're still going on about? Blimey Potter! You are so thick!"
"What are you saying Black?" asked James with narrowed eyes.
"I thought we already cleared this up! I'm not dating Lily, never have been, never will be and what happened last night means nothing to me!"
"You are such a liar and a sneak! I can't believe that you weren't sorted into Slytherin like the rest of your miserable family! Maybe it's just because you couldn't be cunning if your life depended on it!" said James as he walked away.
"I'm not done with you Potter!"
"Too bad Black, because I am most definitely done listening to your crap!"
"Arggg!" yelled Sirius to the air since Peter had long since run for his life.
"Oh having a lovers' quarrel with Potter are we Black?" came the oily voice of Severus Snape from the shadows of the corridor which was empty of all other life-forms seeing as it was a warm summer day and all of the students were free from exams.
"Oh shove it Snivellus! Don't you have anything better to do than skulk around the hallways?"
"Oh someone is a bit upset," said Snape patronizingly.
"I SAID SHOVE IT SNAPE!" Sirius bellowed.
"Still protecting Potter hmmm? After all that he said to you? What about Pettigrew? He just deserts you at the drop of a hat, so much for Gryffindor bravery. And what about Lupin? Are you going to still defend his mysterious disappearances? It's about time that his mother got sick again, isn't it? Funny how that happens on a monthly basis," smirked Snape.
"What are you on about Snape?"
"So you are still keeping his little secrets. Loyalty is such an over-rated quality. So enslaving too; one minute you're as free as a bird, and then the next you have to watch every word you say, every move you make."
"You obviously know nothing about anything Snivellus; I guess that that's what happens when someone doesn't have any friends and no one cares whether they live or die!" said Sirius, who was now grasping at straws to make his insults. No matter how hard he was trying to block out Snape's words, they were hitting home.
"What has Lupin ever done for you? He doesn't bother keeping your secrets, now does he? And Potter obviously has no problem shouting out your insecurities to the world."
Sirius was still being defensive on the outside. "What secrets of mine has Lupin, I mean Remus, spilled?"
"Let's just put it this way Black, how would I know about the Map you four have, if someone hadn't let it slip? Pettigrew is too afraid to slip-up; Potter is far too arrogant not to keep his masterpiece a secret from the world and Lupin is just selfish enough to only think of himself when threatened. All he cares about are his own secrets. All you have to do is imply certain things and he sings like a songbird."
Sirius was beyond enraged. "Well since you're such a good buddy of Potter and Lupin's now, why don't you go visit them tomorrow night? Just go up to the Whomping Willow after dark and press the knot at the base of the tree with a long stick that you'll find in the bushes. Go through the entrance and down the tunnel and you'll find a surprise at the end."
"The Whomping Willow you say? How can I be sure that this isn't just another trick?"
"Do what you want Snape, no one is forcing you to go," said Sirius as he turned on his heel and walked off, not entirely sure what he had just done, but not feeling good about it all the same.
Snape smiled to himself. That hadn't been too hard. Some people were just too easy to exploit.
------
Sirius spent the rest of the day in solitude, except for the part where he broke up with his girlfriend. James also spent the day alone, and Remus kept mostly to himself also. Peter was the only one who really needed to be with people, so he floated between his three friends, leaving each one of them when they finally got fed up with him and moving on to the next. In this manner, he made his rounds for the rest of the day.
The next morning, Remus, feeling the pre-symptoms of the full moon more acutely than he had in recent years, awoke early, and trudged up to the Hospital Wing. Once there he threw himself upon a bed and Madame Pomfrey came bustling over soon after with a sleeping potion. She administered it to him no questions asked and then closed off the curtains around his bed.
Remus then drifted off into a dreamless sleep, pleasantly unaware that one of his best mates had just recently betrayed him.
-----
James had finally, after hours spent alone, realized that he had over-reacted. He knew that Sirius was a good friend and wouldn't betray him by stealing Lily, (not that she was his in the first place). So, when he saw Sirius the next morning in the common room, James apologized, something that he didn't do often.
"Sirius," he called out.
"Oh, it's 'Sirius' now, is it?"
"Look, Sirius, I'm sorry. I blew up at you yesterday for no reason and I'm sorry. I didn't mean all of those things I said, actually I didn't mean any of them at all. Friends again?"
Sirius laughed, "Sure mate. Apology accepted."
James relaxed. "Good, just don't be expecting me to apologize all the time now. That was hard enough."
Sirius clapped James on the back and said, "Of course not, we all have reputations to maintain. How would it look if we all went apologizing to each other for every little thing?"
"Like we were wimpy little girls."
"Exactly! And we can't have that, now can we?"
"Course not! C'mon, breakfast awaits, and we still have some pranking left in us, don't you think? Let's cause some breakfast havoc!"
"You know I'm game!"
The two best friends, newly reunited, hurried back to their dormitory to gather some of the necessary supplies for the mayhem they were bound to create.
James and Sirius were later joined by Peter and spent the day exhausting the rest of their pranking supplies on the unsuspecting inhabitants of Hogwarts. Remus' absence was only briefly mentioned and the subject of Lily was never broached, although they did see her several times. Sirius and James were able to deftly avoid Lily and her friends from extended periods for the whole day and any major arguments that would have occurred, didn't.
Then, as the afternoon wore on, and the boys' pockets had been emptied, they returned inside for dinner and then retreated to their dormitory to plan out their evening adventures for the full moon. They had been accompanying Remus for the past school year, having finally become animagi the summer before. So far, they had only left the shack twice to explore the Forbidden Forest, but they had never ventured out into Hogsmeade.
"I say that we just make some noise in the shack for awhile, you know scare up the people in Hogsmeade a bit. They're all so superstitious, they'll probably all go home early, and then the streets will be empty and we'll be free to roam," said Sirius as he unwrapped a chocolate frog and popped it into his mouth.
James was sitting across from Sirius on his bed. He wrinkled his forehead deep in thought and said, "First though, we'll have to make sure that the coast is clear; we wouldn't want any unexpected surprises."
Then Sirius suddenly remembered his conversation with Snape the day before. He nearly choked on the chocolate frog he had been swallowing in his excitement. "Speaking of unexpected surprises," said Sirius finally, after much coughing and hacking. "You'll never guess who is going to be joining us tonight."
"Who?" asked Peter excitedly. "When?"
"Well, the who is a surprise, but I guess I could clue you in as to the when."
"When?!"
"Don't wet yourself Wormtail," said Sirius derisively. Peter colored and then Sirius looked out of the window. The moon had not yet risen, but the darkness was steadily increasing. It wouldn't be too long now.
"I would say he should be in place in about five or so minutes. I made him an offer that he just couldn't refuse," said Sirius cockily.
James was not as impressed as Peter was. "Who is it Sirius?" he asked sternly.
Sirius, thinking the world of himself, looked at James sharply. "You'll see."
"Damn it Sirius! Who the hell is it?" James may have been immature, but he was wise enough to realize that Sirius had done something stupid.
"Fine! It's Snape! I told him how to get past the Willow and said that there was a surprise for him at the end," said Sirius in an annoyed tone.
"You idiot! Remus is at the end of the tunnel!"
"Yeah, it's going to scare him out of his greasy pants! Speaking of which, we should probably get down there; we don't want to miss this!"
"Sirius, you don't get it! Remus is going to kill him!" yelled James as he ran out of the room to try to intercept Snape before he got to the Willow.
Sirius looked at Peter for support, "Moony wouldn't kill him, would he?"
"I dunno, maybe?"
Sirius paled. What had he gotten himself into?
-----
James ran through the corridors towards the Entrance Hall; he had spotted many people wandering through the hallways, reluctant to go to their beds, but so far he hadn't seen Snape's greasy head.
James didn't see Snape until his worst fears were confirmed, Snape was at the Whomping Willow and he had the long stick that Madame Pomfrey used to open the secret passage when she escorted Remus down to the tree.
"Snape, no!" he yelled.
His call went unheeded, for Snape was already walking underneath the frozen branches of the normally violent tree and soon had disappeared into the hole in its trunk.
James sprinted as fast as he could will his very toned body to go and soon had reached the tree, whose branches had unfortunately returned to their active state. James lit his wand to aid in his furious search for the discarded branch to push the knot with. It was so much easier when Peter could just push the button for them as Wormtail.
Finally James had activated the knot and slipped into the tunnel. Unlike Snape, he had traveled the passage before and knew what to expect, so he was able to run. Unfortunately, his experience was not enough to keep him from tripping on a root that was protruding from the ground. He stumbled and fell, but quickly got up and kept going. James knew the gravity of the situation and that kept his legs running.
Snape was lifting the boards that served as the entrance to the shack when James finally caught sight of him.
"Severus stop! Don't do it! Don't go up there!"
Snape only looked back to sneer at James. "So you're in on the joke too, eh Potter? I suppose the whole fight between you and Black was only staged for some reason or another, but I bet you didn't expect Black to betray Lupin, did you? I'm going to find out once and for all what he really does once a month and you can't stop me!" Severus cried victoriously.
Before James could do anything, Snape waved his wand and tied James up in thick cords. Then he pushed back the boards and climbed into the room above. And then, before his eyes, one of his classmates started turning into a wolfish beast.
On the dirt ground below, James was concentrating solely on getting rid of his bonds. Just as he heard a long howl that meant Remus had finished his transformation and was no longer in control of his body, James' fingers brushed his wand. The little contact was enough to cast a spell to dissolve the cords and James bounded up to the Shrieking Shack.
Luckily for everyone, James got hold of Severus' leg just as Remus spotted him and yanked his enemy into the passage below. Then he levitated the boards firmly back in place, right before Remus reached them.
James let out a deep breath, as he heard the loud scrapping on the boards just inches above his head. Snape was safe, Remus was contained and Sirius was still an idiot.
"Bloody Hell! Lupin's a werewolf! Wait until Dumbledore hears about this! The lot of you will be expelled for sure!" said Severus triumphantly.
"Don't you think Dumbledore already knows?" James said sternly. "Dumbledore is the person who let Remus in; he's not about to expel him now!"
"But he attacked a student, he has no choice! Once the governors hear about this, Lupin will probably be sent to Azkaban!"
"Snape, please, don't do this! You have to have a decent bone in your body somewhere! Please, for once in your life, do the right thing!" James pleaded.
"Just like you and your friends do the right thing? Evans, mudblood though she may be, is right about you; you are an arrogant bully, and now you're finally getting your comeuppance and you just can't deal with it!"
"I'm warning you Snape, if you tell about Remus, I will make your life even more of a nightmare than it already is."
"You're not in a position to be threatening me Potter, for once, I have the upper hand!"
Then Snape disarmed James, blasting him back into the dirt wall and cackled, "And now I'm holding all of the cards!"
Then he ran off down the passage.
James cursed him vehemently and then set off after him. Snape had gotten quite a head start though, so James didn't catch up to him until after they were out on the grounds. Once Severus was in range, James leapt and tackled him to the ground.
James was trying to wrestle his wand out of Severus' hand when Dumbledore arrived and separated them with a simple incantation.
James looked up into the livid face of his Headmaster and was more scared than he had ever been in his entire life. Even Snape's maniac grin had been wiped away once he had looked into the face of Professor Dumbledore.
James couldn't look for long, instead, he gazed down at the ground, his head hanging in shame and fear.
"Come with me, both of you," commanded Dumbledore.
The two boys followed silently in the wake of Dumbledore, chilled by the howls that could be heard coming from the Shrieking Shack.
Dumbledore led the two boys through the halls and all the way into his office. As they entered the office that was all too familiar to James, James saw that it was not empty. In one chair in front of the desk sat Sirius Black, looking more humble and sincere than James had ever seen him.
"Please have a seat," said Professor Dumbledore as he himself took a seat behind his desk.
James sat down next to Sirius, but did not look at him.
Snape was only too glad to take the proffered seat, even if it was next to James Potter. Severus consoled himself with the idea that he would never again have to see James or his friends, not after he told his story.
After a short pause, Albus Dumbledore began to speak, "I have already heard a short version of the events leading up to tonight from Mr. Black, but I should like to hear the story in more detail now. Then I will ask you Mr. Snape to give your side of the story, and then Mr. Potter, if you would, we will finish up with your story."
Sirius recounted his part in the affair slowly and honestly. He didn't leave out anything that incriminated him, as he would have usually done. As hard as it was for him, he told the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
Then Severus proceeded to tell his exaggerated story of the conspiracy that the Marauders had to have him killed. James raised a protest at this, but was silenced with a curt word from Professor Dumbledore. Then Severus continued with suggestions for punishment for the four Gryffindors, even Pettigrew, whom he was positive was involved in some way. The punishment that Severus prescribed was life incarceration in Azkaban for attempted, planned, murder.
Dumbledore then turned to James for his story. James told of the short role that he had played in the whole affair and then pleaded with his Headmaster not to believe Snape about the conspiracy because it wasn't true, and that Remus hadn't willfully had any role at all.
After hearing all three stories, Albus looked sternly as the three boys and began the part that he liked least about his job, lecturing and punishing.
"Mr. Black, I believe that you now realize the severity of what you have done, and I do not believe that you were the mastermind of a premeditated plot against Mr. Snape. You are extremely lucky that Mr. Potter acted quickly enough to prevent any harm from being done. However, these things do not erase your guilt. Therefore, I am afraid that I will have to deduct one hundred fifty points from Gryffindor for your abysmal lack of judgment and misconduct. I will also be referring you to your Head of House for further punishment."
Sirius just hung his head and accepted his fate.
"Mr. Snape, for your foolhardiness in trespassing on grounds that you knew to be forbidden after curfew, I will deduct forty points from Slytherin House and a detention."
"What? Why? Black was the one who told me to!" said Snape.
"Yes, but you had the choice to ignore his taunt or to break the rules by entering the passage below the Whomping Willow. You chose to break the rules, so you will also be punished."
Dumbledore's gaze finally came to rest on James. "Now as for you Mr. Potter," James raised his head to look into the face of Albus Dumbledore and found that there wasn't anger in his eyes, but admiration and relief. "You have done a great service to Mr. Snape by rescuing him from Mr. Lupin."
"He was in on the whole thing!" shouted Snape once he realized that James might not be punished.
"James had nothing to do with any of this!" bellowed Sirius. "The whole thing was my fault! If anything, you owe James your life! He saved your sorry hide!"
"That is enough from both of you," said Dumbledore. The two boys fell silent. "Mr. Potter, you have shown great courage tonight. You put aside your own personal feelings for Mr. Snape and put yourself at risk to save him and to protect your friend. I believe that your actions are worth rewarding."
"But sir, I just did what had to be done," James protested. "It wasn't anything really special or brave."
"I beg to differ Mr. Potter. You were under no obligation to try to save Mr. Snape tonight. Therefore I award Gryffindor house fifty points.
"Now, Mr. Snape, I have one more matter to discuss with you; you must vow to never speak of Mr. Lupin's condition to anyone, not your classmates, family or otherwise. You would do best to just forget this whole matter. If you can not keep this secret, I am afraid immediate expulsion would be the result as well as some formal legal action. Do I have your word?"
"Yes sir," said Severus grudgingly.
"Good, now you and Mr. Potter are excused. Mr. Black I should like for you to remain here, I am going to write a letter to Professor McGonagall explaining the situation and then she will like to have a word with you, I'm sure."
James and Severus left the office and parted without a word.
-----
"Hey, guys, look over there," said Lily interrupting the conversation that the girls around her were having.
"What are you talking about?" drawled Sandra Fini, a Ravenclaw and the leader of the O.W.L. study group which was comprised of talented witches from all four houses. It was a rather exclusive little group that Sandra had started in the beginning of fifth year and the small group had continued into sixth year.
All heads turned towards Lily, but she was used to that. She didn't know why she stayed in the group, she really didn't. Marlene had refused to join saying that she had better things to do than hang out with a bunch of eggheads and talk about homework, and Alice had quit in the beginning of sixth year, saying that it ate up too much of her time. Yet, Lily had continued in the group, even though she knew that she wasn't well liked; she was however, needed. Lily was the brightest witch in both Charms and Potions, so she was able to help the others with their homework and with studying.
Her talents also made her a threat, practically the only threat to Sandra. Ever since first year, Sandra and Lily had been tied for the title of first in their class. Thus, Sandra did her best to make things miserable for Lily, and since Ravenclaws were the majority in the Outstanding Witch League, she succeeded more often than not.
"Sirius Black is sitting by himself by that tree, James Potter is over by that tree twenty meters away and Peter Pettigrew is sitting under a third tree, each of them alone and Remus Lupin is nowhere to be found. Don't you find that strange?" asked Lily as her eyes wandered from one Marauder to the next.
"So? Since when do you care what the Marauders do? I thought we were all in agreement here that they are immature people with whom we should not be associated?" Sandra addressed the group, who murmured their assent.
Lily didn't hear it and she didn't care. All she cared about was that when she had been upset Sirius had talked to her and helped her through it, and now he was obviously troubled and for some reason he and his friends were at odds. So, she stood up and, leaving the group and their protests at her rudeness behind, Lily walked over to the tree which Sirius was sitting under.
Sirius was just staring out at the lake. McGongall had been furious. She had given him detention every Friday night for the duration of his seventh year and written to the Potters, knowing that writing to his biological parents would have no effect on him whatsoever. The destruction of half his social life was not what had Sirius so down though; normally he would have had a good laugh over McGonagall's fury and tallied up the detentions to see what the grand total was. But those things are generally done with friends, and right now, Sirius didn't appear to have any. That was the worse part about the whole thing.
"Mind if I sit here?" asked Lily.
Sirius looked up in surprise as the sound of Lily's voice brought him out of his reverie of self-pity. His face even broke out in a shadow of a grin. "Not at all."
Lily didn't know quite what to say to Sirius, and he didn't initiate a conversation. But finally, Lily got fed up with the silence so she said, "Sirius, I know that we haven't really ever talked or anything, and we couldn't quite be called friends, but you look as if you need a friend right now, so do you want to talk?"
Sirius looked at Lily, the surprise visible on his face. He looked at her for a long time, it was a long calculating look that caused Lily to feel very stupid and very little.
She was just about to get up and leave when Sirius said, "You sure are something Lillian Evans."
"I know," she said with a sure smile.
And then Sirius poured out his soul for Lily, well what he could anyways. He didn't reveal that Remus was a werewolf and Lily didn't pry. Sirius just kind of glossed over the details of the previous night's events, though he didn't fail to highlight James' heroism as Snape's savior.
Lily stayed silent throughout Sirius' monologue. Then when he was finished she said, "Feel better now?"
He grinned, a real grin this time. "Yeah, yeah I do. Now I see why you girls do this whole 'talking' thing so often."
"That 'talking thing' is why women live longer than men," Lily stated. "We just let our emotions out, while you men just keep them bottled inside to preserve your manly façade."
"I don't know about the men that you know, but I must say that this is no façade, I am 100 macho male," joked Sirius, which elicited a laugh from Lily. "Why are you laughing? I wasn't kidding! Lily you're hurting my feelings!" he fake-whined.
"Oh shut up you," she retorted.
"And furthermore," Sirius continued. "Your little lover boy Potter doesn't keep his anger and emotions bottled up, and I have the bruises to prove it."
Lily stopped laughing sharply at the mention of James. "What do you mean?"
Sirius cursed under his breath and then said, "Nothing, nothing. Just rambling."
"You meant what you said, now tell me what it means," Lily commanded.
Sirius clenched his fists in frustration. This was not going to be a pleasant conversation. Why was he continually getting himself into hot water? "Okay, I did mean something by it. After the party Friday night or Saturday morning, if you want to be technical about it, James was a wee bit irate and wasn't afraid to let me know it, via his fists."
"I'm sorry," Lily muttered.
Sirius started to tell her that it wasn't her fault, but she cut him off by saying, "It was my fault, I know it was and I want you to know that I'm sorry. I let myself get carried away and I should not have. I wish that I could just take it all back."
"I wouldn't change anything," said Sirius softly. "It was a fabulous kiss, but I didn't feel anything."
"Me neither," Lily admitted.
"It's probably for the best," said Sirius back to his shadow-like grin. "If James was ready to attack me for kissing you when we were on good terms, I can't imagine what he would do if he found us together now that he hates me."
Lily fell silent until, almost out of the blue, she blurted, "We can still be friends though, right?"
"Sure."
"Good. I like talking to you."
"Me too Lily."
"Do you think Remus could use a visitor?"
"What, leaving me so soon?"
Lily smiled and said, "As much as you needed someone to talk to, I think he needs someone more. Especially since you have to tell him what happened last night. How about I'll just see him first and prepare him a bit."
"You are an angel Lily," said Sirius as she got up.
"I know," she said with a secretive little smile, as Sirius got up also to follow her to the Hospital Wing.
This wasn't going to be pleasant for anyone, but having Lily there was going to make it a bit easier.
-----
Remus awoke to the sounds of two people arguing quietly somewhere near him. His brain tuned out the sounds around him and started to process the important facts. Remus concluded that the night before had been the full moon, and a pretty gruesome night from the way he felt right now, and that he was now in the Hospital Wing.
After he was oriented, Remus looked over at the clock that was sitting on his bedside table. It told him that it was just after three in the afternoon.
Remus tried to fall back asleep, but he soon found that he couldn't, so he resorted to just staring up at the ceiling and looking at all of the familiar cracks and stains. He knew that Madame Pomfrey would be along soon to bring some messages and stories of how his friends had tried to sneak in to see him as well as the usual foul-tasting potions.
Remus felt a little bit guilty when he thought of his friends; he had been a bit bitter towards them the last couple of days. Then, the more that he thought about it, Remus realized that he had the right to be bitter. James and Sirius had left in the middle of the night to go to a party without him, and then when they returned, Sirius expected him to help out to fix the huge problems that they had caused at said party.
Remus had helped, of course; he always helped everyone with everything, and did they ever say thank you? Nope. They just took him for granted and expected him to help them with everything no matter what.
And did they come by to see how he was feeling yesterday? Nope. They just ignored him and went on with their lives while he was suffering.
Remus' anger that had been mustering for the past couple days was quickly bubbling up to the surface, but that was interrupted when the curtains surrounding his bed were pulled back slowly. Remus quickly closed his eyes because he didn't want to see his friends right now; he wanted to build up some more anger against them first.
"See Miss Evans! I told you that he was still resting!" said Madame Pomfrey in a shrilly high pitched whisper that was surprisingly loud.
"I'll just wait for him to get up then," said Lily in a much quieter voice.
Lily was left by Madame Pomfrey after she promised not to disturb Remus. She closed the curtains after her and pulled up a chair next to his bedside.
"That's pretty impressive, how you fooled Madame Pomfrey like that," said Lily casually.
"How could you tell I was faking?" asked Remus croakily without opening his eyes.
"I saw your eyelids fluttering closed before you knew I was there."
"How'd you know I was here?"
"A little bird told me," joked Lily.
Remus didn't laugh; he didn't think it was funny. No one was supposed to know he was in the Hospital Wing; he was supposed to be visiting his grandmother.
"Really, who told you?"
"A friend of yours who will remain nameless."
"The only ones who would know I was here would be Sirius, James and Peter. Peter is deathly afraid of you and your temper since that day last year when you blew up at James, Sirius is kind of, afraid, I guess you could say, of being around you because then James would be jealous, so I suppose it was James, because he would probably tell you anything if you asked properly," Remus hypothesized.
"Intriguing Dr. Lupin, very intriguing, but sadly, you are mistaken," said Lily before she could stop herself.
"So it was either Sirius or Peter, and after the events of two days ago, I wouldn't think it was Sirius, but perhaps it is."
"Maybe," said Lily unconvincingly.
"Okay, it was Sirius," said Remus matter-of-factly.
"Not necessarily…"
"You sound just like James when he knows that you know whatever secret he was keeping but he doesn't want you to think you know although you really do."
"Sorry, I couldn't follow that."
"Ummmhhmmmnn… so, why are you here?"
When Lily didn't answer, Remus finally opened his eyes and looked over at her; she was gazing intently at all of his bandages.
"Are you going to ask where I got all of these?"
"No. If you wanted me to know, you would tell me, but if I ask and you don't want to talk about it, you'll just lie about it, and I'd rather not do that."
"Aren't you curious?" asked Remus disbelievingly. "Don't you care?"
"Do you want to tell me?" asked Lily calmly.
Remus considered it for a moment. "I think it would be best if you don't know."
"Then I'll keep my curiosity at bay and just let you know that I do care, but I can't really do anything about it because I don't know how you got these wounds."
"So why are you here?" Remus repeated.
"Because you're going to need someone to talk to."
"Going to?" he asked inquisitively.
Lily took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. This was harder than she thought, but she continued because she knew it was the right thing to do and she wanted to minimize the hurt that she knew Remus was going to feel.
"Yeah, something happened last night that you need to know about and I want to be there for you when you need to talk about it."
"What do you know?" asked Remus angrily.
Lily was taken aback. "Nothing specific, only vague details," she said downheartedly.
"Who told you?" hissed Remus.
This was not going the right way. "Remus, please calm down. I'm not going to talk to you if you're about to rip my head off," said Lily sternly.
Remus took a deep breath and counted to ten; then he apologized.
"Don't apologize Remus, I would be pretty upset if I felt as crummy as you probably do right now."
After a brief pause, Lily said, "Remus, you have another visitor and he has something to tell you, but before you see him, let me just tell you that he's sorry."
"Not a very auspicious start to any conversation," Remus pointed out.
"Just remember that, okay?"
"Okay, I'll keep it in mind" said Remus uncertainly.
"I'll be back to see if you want to talk later, okay?"
"Sure."
Then Lily left. Remus heard her mumble a few words to whoever was standing on the other side of the curtain. After a few minutes of mumbling, Sirius Black was pushed through the curtains.
He looked a bit startled, but he quickly changed his features to a pleasant smile. "Hey-ya Moony, you look like crap," said Sirius nervously.
"What are you doing here?" asked Remus bitterly.
"I thought Lily told you…"
"Sirius," said Remus darkly. "What happened last night?"
Sirius sat down and then, not being able to meet Remus' eyes, he stared at the floor and began his story. "I'm really, really, really sorry mate, and I don't deserve to ever be happy again."
Remus was untouched by the sob story.
"In fact I really don't even deserve to breathe…"
"Get on with it," Remus cut in sharply.
"Right," said Sirius. So much for his avoidance maneuvers. "I tricked Snape into going to the Whomping Willow. I told him how to get past it a couple of nights ago and when to go, so of course he did. He, he saw you transform."
Remus went white, white like the color of the pillow he was resting his head on. "Did I, did I…?" Remus' voice was virtually gone; his throat was suddenly parched and he couldn't get the words out.
"No. No, you didn't hurt him at all. James found out and went and saved the slimy git. Dumbledore says he's going to come see you when Poppy says it's okay."
"Get out," said Remus curtly.
"What?"
"Get the out!" yelled Remus.
Sirius quickly evacuated his seat and scampered away.
Remus covered his face with his heavily bandaged hands.
Lily sat outside of the Hospital Wing to give the two boys some privacy. Sirius came out much faster than she had expected.
"How bad was it?" she asked him.
Sirius sat down on the bench next to her and mumbled, "I don't think it could've gone any worse."
"You didn't expect it to go well, did you?"
"No."
"I'm going to give him a half-hour and then I'm going to talk to him."
"Blimey Lily, are you trying to get yourself a chocolate frog card or something?"
"What?" asked Lily baffled.
"How come you're being so nice to everyone?"
"Because I'm a nice person?"
"No one is this nice. Do you owe me money or something?" asked Sirius disbelievingly.
"No," answered Lily. "I just like helping people, that's all."
"But why? Why would you get yourself involved in something like this? What do you get out of it?" he questioned.
"What's with the third degree?" Lily counter-asked. "You listened to me and my problems the other night, so I listened to yours; it's what friends do."
"Are we friends now?"
"I suppose we are."
"Good. I think that brings my total friend count up to one now."
"That's not true Sirius, you have lots of friends."
"Not really," said Sirius, trying to sound casual about it. "I really only have three, not counting you of course, James, Remus and Peter, the rest are just admirers and fans. And now, my three friends hate me, so you're the only one left. Speaking of which, why don't you hate me?"
"You made a mistake," said Lily shrugging. "People make mistakes; that's what makes them human."
"You don't make mistakes," said Sirius. "You're little Miss Perfect."
Lily laughed harshly. "Believe me, I make more mistakes than you'll ever know, and not all of them are as easily forgiven as the one you recently made."
Sirius stared at her in disbelief. "You must be joking."
Lily looked back at him. "No, I'm not."
"Name one," challenged Sirius.
Lily shook her head in denial.
"Why not?"
"Because you'd never look at me the same way again."
"I sincerely doubt that."
Lily smiled grimly, "It's true; if you didn't think I was a goody-goody you wouldn't look at me the same way. Just trust me; I'm not perfect, in any sense of the word." Then, before Sirius could get in another word, Lily got up and said, "I'm going to go see Remus now, I'll see you later."
Sirius nodded. He didn't get up on the bench for a long time; he was wondering about the enigma that was Lillian Evans.
-----
The rest of the week flew by; grades were handed out, trunks were packed and everywhere students and teachers alike were eagerly awaiting summer vacation.
Well, almost everyone was looking forward to the break. One Sirius Black was not. He hadn't spoken to Remus, Peter or James since the prank on Snape, but he could tell that they all were still mad at him. Remus and James pretended like he didn't exist and Peter just kind of gave him twitchy, nervous smiles.
If it wasn't for Lily, Sirius probably would have gone crazy; he was a people person and couldn't take too much alone time. So, in a way, she saved him from himself. Lily always made sure that Sirius didn't spend too much time alone and that he had someone to talk to if he needed it. She also incorporated him into her activities with Marly and Alice and he got to know them better too.
Remus had chosen to spend the last few days of the last week of school absorbed in his books. Although he was spending time with James and Peter, none of them actually talked or planned any pranks or anything. They all just kind of sat there, each distracted in his own fashion.
Periodically Lily would catch Remus alone and try to get him to talk to her. She would usually spend about an hour or so making small talk with him to get his mind off of the betrayal of Sirius. He appreciated her attempts, but he was wary to get too close to her, for fear that she would somehow be able to guess what he really was, now that she had so many clues to her advantage.
That first time when she had visited him in the Hospital Wing, he had not-so-kindly pushed her away and refused to talk to her. However, she refused to honor his request that he be left alone. That was one of the things Remus liked most about Lily; she persevered. Lillian Evans never did anything half-way. She always did everything to the best of her ability; including comforting friends.
But there was one person who was not thanking his lucky stars that Lily Evans had been born; in fact she was driving him even more insane than usual. James Potter looked on as Lily spent some, well, a lot, of quality bonding time with two of his best friends, well, one friend, and one person who didn't exist anymore but was once his best mate. He didn't mean to let her get to him; he really didn't, but she was Lillian Evans and he was defenseless against her magic. He hated seeing her just talking to them; she appeared to be trying so hard to make them happy and made such an effort just to be around them and include them. James was more than jealous, he felt as if something was trying to eat its way out of his stomach, and so his relationship with everyone suffered; he refused to talk to Remus extensively, ignored Sirius completely, and barely glanced at Lily, when she was looking that is.
When James finally did talk to Lily, not by his own devise but by some evil force inside of him (some call it their heart), it was not pretty. James had been walking down the hallway, by himself, as Hogwarts had grown accustomed to seeing him over the last couple of days. At the same time Lily was walking in the opposite direction, but she was not alone, she was walking with the O.W.L.s; they had just finished setting out their goals for summer studying. It was the last day of school and James figured that something inside of him just snapped and caused him to do what he did.
"Hey Evans," he called after she and the other girls had passed him.
The whole group stopped. Lily turned around, her face expressionless. "What's up?" she asked him fairly amicably.
"We need to set some things straight," he said demandingly.
"She's not going anywhere with you" said Sandra snidely.
James looked at her incredulously. "Who do you think you are and why are you talking for Evans?"
Sandra was opening her mouth, but Lily cut in and said in a sickly-sweet voice that usually went over pretty well with Sandra, "It's okay Sandra, I think I can handle this on my own."
Sandra pulled Lily aside a bit and whispered harshly, "Lily, he's a marauder. It's bad enough that you've been spending time with Lupin and Black, and don't bother denying it because I know you have been, but why do you feel the need to round off the group by talking to Potter?"
"Really Sandra, I can handle this. This shouldn't take long; we don't have much to say to each other."
"Every second makes us look bad Lily! In my opinion, James is the worst of the three of them!"
"There are four of them," Lily pointed out.
"Pettigrew hardly counts," scoffed Sandra. "He can't even cast a levitating charm on a feather without Lupin holding his hand, Black distracting him and Potter secretly doing the spell."
Lily just nodded annoyed by Sandra's condescending tone. "I'll owl you guys this summer okay? Have a great vacation."
Without waiting for a response, Lily waved to the others and walked over to James.
"Yes?" she asked.
James started walking away; Lily followed. Silence reigned for a while as the two walked side-by-side, until James broke the silence. "What was that all about? With you and Sandra?"
Lily bit down on her bottom lip. "Nothing. It was nothing," she said finally.
"If it were nothing," James began. "You would have said so immediately, or with at least more conviction. How am I supposed to believe you when you don't even believe you."
"Maybe I work just a bit differently and like to think before I say stuff," said Lily hotly.
"So all of these years what you've said to me has been well-thought out and genuinely sincere?" James stopped walking and turned to her.
Lily bit down harder. Why did he have to ask her that? It was the day before summer break and she was more than content to just let things between them stay as they were, friendly-ish and totally confusing.
James didn't know what to think, and Lily's silence wasn't helping. "Tell me Lily! I need to know."
"Why? Why do you need to know?" she asked sharply. "What does it matter? That's in the past."
"But it may affect the future," said James softly. "Our future."
"What future James? I have a future and you, you have a future, but I'm not so sure that I see our futures mixing."
"Why not? I've changed Lily! I have; I changed for you."
"You shouldn't have changed for me James; you should have changed for you. You are always going to be in your life, but I may not be," said Lily slowly as she gazed at the floor.
"Why do you enjoy tormenting me? What have I ever done to you? All you do is lie to me, reject me and put me down. Does anything ever make you happy? Is anyone ever going to be enough for you?"
Lily didn't say anything; she just kept staring at the floor. She refused to look James in the eye; she was afraid of what she might find there.
James decided to continue, "You know what I think Lily?"
Lily shook her head.
"I think that you're just too damn stuck-up to condescend to the level ordinary people are on. You just think that you're so much better than everyone else, so of course you're looking for someone equal to you. But of course, no one is! No one can ever be as perfect as you want them to be Lily. No one is ever going to meet the bar that you've set. I tried; Merlin knows I tried to be the person you wanted me to be, but I'm tried of trying to please you. I'm done Lily. I'm done."
Lily finally looked up, though she didn't meet his eyes. She looked at the wall behind him, his hair, his glasses, anything but his eyes. "I never asked you to be someone you're not. I never asked you to try to please me."
"But I did anyways."
"For whom James? For me, or for you?"
"What? That doesn't make any sense."
"Why do you pursue me? Because you want to, or because I want you to?"
James regained a bit of his arrogance at this point, "I'd like to think both."
Lily looked at him incredulously, finally meeting his eyes. "If you can't answer that, then I don't think that there's anything for either of us here."
"So that's it then?"
"'It' was never anything in the first place."
"Stop playing games with me!"
"Who's playing?"
"Can you honestly tell me that you've never felt anything for me ever?"
James' eyes were so hopeful and so capable of pain. Lily still didn't know what exactly she was feeling for James, and she couldn't come up with a lie quick enough, or convincing enough to get by James, so she told him the truth.
"I don't know James."
"What kind of answer is that?"
"The only one I have for you, unless, of course, you'd prefer me to lie to you; in which case, I'll tell you whatever you want me to say."
"Can't you just give me a solid answer?"
"I don't have one!" Lily yelled. "If I did; we wouldn't be in this mess!"
"So what do you expect me to do? Waste another year of my life waiting for you to warm up to me while you flirt with all of my friends?" he asked, his brow furrowed.
"No. Do whatever you want. Summer vacation starts tomorrow, enjoy it. Don't think of me at all this summer, just enjoy yourself," said Lily choosing to ignore the comment about her "flirting."
"I don't think you understand Lily," said James as he laughed joylessly.
Lily held up a hand. "I don't want to understand, James. In fact, I'd rather not."
"Then what do you want?"
"I want for you to forget all about me this summer."
"Just this summer?" James inquired with a smile that didn't meet the contortion of his brow.
Lily didn't smile; she just swallowed hard. "Just do it. Find some hot girls in bikinis and snog them senseless."
"Just how shallow do you think I am?"
"You're only human James; you succumb to weakness just like every other man. Believe me, there will be only too many girls that will want to fall at your feet."
"Only you Lily, only you would find some new way to torture me just when I'd thought that I have suffered enough."
"Stop mocking me!" yelled Lily in frustration. "I'm not trying to torment you, not now and I never have been! I'm doing this for you! You need to get over me James."
"What if I don't want to?"
"You can't mean that you want to be like this?"
"No I don't. I want to be with you Lily; to be in a relationship with you."
Lily let out a deep breath. "Look at me James and listen clearly. Forget this and forget me."
Then Lily turned on her heel and walked away, her heels clicking loudly on the stone floor.
"Lily, wait! This is not how it should be!" James called fruitlessly after her.
Lily didn't stop. She didn't turn around. She didn't respond. She didn't stop the tears from rolling down her face. She just kept walking. She kept walking and she kept thinking, this is not how it should be, but it's how it has to be. I'm so sorry James..
A/N. Please review guys or I will seriously reconsider continuing with this story!