Her Smile Heals Me (part 25)
Monday, July 4, 2011
Santana Lopez and Rachel Berry sat in side-by-side wooden chairs in the lobby of the Allen County Lock-up Facility in Lima, Ohio Monday morning. The smaller brunette held the hand of the taller one as they sat quietly, waiting to be called to the prisoner meeting area.
Rachel looked over her shoulder toward the entrance of the building, mentally hoping to see Brittany show up. She had not made any mention to Santana in case Brittany never showed. She looked down at her watch. 10:24 am. Rachel sighed heavily, knowing the meeting was scheduled for 10:30, then looked back at the entry door again.
"You're acting more nervous than I am this morning…what's your deal?" Santana inquired, noticing Rachel's jitteriness.
"Huh?" Rachel turned back toward the taller girl.
"What do you keep looking over there for?"
"I thought maybe Dad might come anyway," Rachel covered.
"I told both Dads I'd be fine…to go to work and not worry," Santana reminded her newly-acquired sibling.
"You're not 'fine' though," Rachel grimaced, squeezing Santana's trembling hand.
"Yeah, and they'll both worry too…so we're all faking it today," Santana tried to joke.
The young Latina looked particularly beautiful, her hair pulled up in a clip on top of her head with a few loose strands cascading down. This somehow made her look younger, more innocent, and though it wasn't her intention when she dressed that morning in a simple black and white, cotton sundress, the end result was breathtaking.
"Santana?"
She looked up to see ADA Eric Cole standing at a heavy metal door that opened and shut loudly with a mechanical hinge which was electronically-activated by a deputy who sat inside a bullet-proof, glass-paneled booth.
"They're ready for you," Eric motioned for the girls to join him.
Both brunettes stood hesitantly, Santana nervously flattening out the skirt on her lightweight sundress and Rachel shuffling her small purse from one arm to the other and looking one last time at the entrance door.
She was overjoyed when the door opened and in walked Brittany who smiled, asking as she caught up to the pair, "Did I make it in time?"
Santana recognized that voice immediately and turned around.
"Perfect timing," Rachel told her with a giant smile and a huge sigh of relief.
"You came?" Santana asked softly as if seeing Brittany there was possibly a mirage.
"I wouldn't let you do this without me," Brittany smiled supportively.
Not realizing how much she had pushed the reality of this moment from her mind, Santana suddenly felt the strength in her legs growing weaker so she sat back down in the nearest chair, overpowered by the anticipation of being in the same room with Karofsky. Still feeling overwhelmed with everything that had happened with Brittany, she lowered her head nearly to her lap, her hands covering her face as her anxiety-level overtook her resolve.
"Santana?" Eric Cole prodded.
The Latina didn't answer, her body beginning to visibly shake.
Rachel looked at Brittany, saying, "This is just too much for her."
Brittany didn't say anything in response but looked down at Santana who was clearly in distress.
"Can she reschedule this?" Rachel asked the ADA, "I just don't know if it's worth putting her through all of this."
Eric looked at his watch, knowing they only had a certain window of opportunity before Karofsky would be returned to his cell.
"We need to do this now," Eric emphasized with an understanding tone.
"Britt?" Rachel bit nervously at her bottom lip.
Brittany kneeled down in front of Santana and wrapped her long arms around her shoulders. She felt Santana's entire body shuddering as she cried softly into her hands. Brittany lowered her head to speak directly into Santana's ear, speaking slowly and calmly, telling her, "Take slow, deep breaths…in and out…in and out."
Santana concentrated her brain on the feel of Brittany's body pressed firmly against hers, the warmth of her breath in her ear, and the soothing sound of Brittany's voice until she found a normal rhythm to her breathing.
Once Brittany felt Santana's body relax under hers and her crying stop, she whispered softly, "You can do this. You are strong. You will not be defined by him or what he did."
Santana sniffed and straightened to look at Brittany's face, nodding her head, "Okay."
"Yeah?" the blonde asked to make sure, tucking one of Santana's dark strands back up into her clip and wiping at her wet cheeks.
"Yeah," Santana confirmed.
Brittany stood up from the floor and pulled Santana from the chair by her hand, escorting her toward the large metal door and past ADA Cole to enter a hallway that ended at a set of metal bars and another armed-deputy who sat behind a desk with several video monitors.
All four of them stopped, and were instructed by the officer, who pushed a clear, plastic container to the edge of the desk, "All personal items in here please…jewelry, purses, wallets, keys…if it's removable…it goes in the bucket."
"So like…our earrings too?" Rachel asked, confused.
"All jewelry please…in the bucket," the oversized guard repeated robotically.
Rachel removed her earrings and her watch and set them with her purse in the container then removed her gold necklace that read Finn. Brittany set her car keys and rope-like bracelet in the plastic bin next to Santana's earrings, watch, and sunglasses.
"Cell phones, ladies?" the officer asked.
"Oops, sorry…," Santana grimaced, pulling her phone from the side pocket of her dress, making sure it was turned off then putting it with Brittany's in the larger container.
"Mine's in my purse," Rachel smiled at the group.
The ADA put his items in too with the girls' stuff and motioned for them to join him near the metal bars. A different officer scanned their bodies with a handheld metal detector then nodded to the one at the desk who pushed a button, sounding a buzzer and sending the bars rolling backwards until they were opened.
Once the group was inside the meeting area waiting room, they were greeted by David Karofsky's defense attorney, Thomas Lowell.
"Eric," Thomas acknowledged the ADA with a courtesy nodded of his head.
"Thomas," Eric returned the professional acknowledgement, "Is your client ready?"
"Yes, I've spoken to him directly," Thomas confirmed, "He is insisting on meeting without counsel present."
"That's unexpected," Eric said with a look of shock on his face, "Then I'll need to set up a recording device."
"He is requesting a private meeting…with no counsel present," Thomas clarified.
"No way," Eric laughed.
"Do you want to facilitate the end result or not, Eric?" Thomas asked.
"I can't in good conscience send a young girl in alone to meet with her rapist," ADA Cole stood firm.
"Alleged rapist, Counselor," Thomas reminded, turning to Santana, "And it's Ms. Lopez's decision."
"I don't understand what is happening," Santana responded, feeling pressure from all the eyes in the room focused on her reaction.
"Santana…Karofsky wants to meet privately with you…," Eric reiterated.
"Just me and him? Alone?" Santana felt sick to her stomach. She looked over at Brittany who smiled at her, and she remembered what Brittany told her. Not wanting to be defined by this part of her life, she told the ADA, "Ok, I'll do it…if Brittany can go in with me."
"I'm sure that's fine…," Eric said, "Thomas? Any disagreement?"
The stout attorney shook his head.
"Britt?"
"Sure," the blonde agreed, taking her by the hand.
ADA Cole nodded to the armed guard who stood at the door of a meeting room. The guard turned the knob and motioned the teens to enter.
"Take a seat on this side of the table," he told them, "Do not attempt to touch or pass anything to the prisoner at any time or the meeting will be terminated. There are cameras in the corners which are monitoring at all times. If you feel distressed or in danger at any point then please notify one of the guards. Are there any questions?"
Both girls shook their heads, their eyes wide with realization of the seriousness of the situation, then they sat down as instructed.
Brittany looked down as she pulled her chair up to the table, noticing the legs were bolted to the floor. The blonde shivered, not sure if it was from the blast of cold air she felt blowing out of an air vent directly above the table or from the apprehension of seeing Karofsky's face again. She reached under the table and put her hand on Santana's knee, squeezing it to reassure the brunette that she was not alone.
Santana took in a gulp of air as the inside door buzzed and unlocked loudly.
The door opened, and another armed guard stepped into the room then pulled David Karofsky inside by the upper part of his arm. He was clothed in a bright yellow jumpsuit and had cuffs on both wrists and both ankles that were all chained together in front of him, tethering all his limbs and restricting his movement, as he shuffled forward toward the table.
David looked at Santana sitting at the table, flanked on her right side by Brittany, and some part inside him felt a sense of relief, glad for her to have that comfort.
The guard assisted Karofsky as he sat down in the chair then he cuffed his chains to the underside of the table before the guard walked to the back corner of the room to wait.
He squirmed nervously in his chair without making any direct eye contact.
It's empty in the valley of your heart
The sun, it rises slowly as you walk
Away from all the fears
And all the faults you've left behind…
The harvest left no food for you to eat
You cannibal, you meat-eater, you see
But I have seen the same,
I know the shame in your defeat…
But I will hold on hope
And I won't let you choke
On the noose around your neck…
And I'll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I'll know my name as it's called again…
Santana sat quietly, unsure of why Karofsky requested this meeting or what he might say to her. She felt Brittany squeeze her knee again, the room filling with a deafening silence, as both girls stared at him.
"Thank you for agreeing to talk to me," he began.
Santana and Brittany sat with a look of stone on their faces.
"I don't really have anything planned out to say," he said, "I just felt it was important for you to know how sorry I am."
The Latina did not respond to his apology. She looked at him in his prison attire, bound to the table, and her mind flashed back to prom night with him on top of her, his hand between her legs. She instantly felt a stabbing pain in her groin, and she swallowed hard and involuntarily winced in her chair.
Brittany felt Santana's body tense so she ran her hand along her thigh in a gentle caress.
"You don't have to say anything…I understand," David said meekly, the non-responsiveness of his audience starting to unnerve him, "I can only imagine how much you hate me. You have every right to, but you'll never hate me as much as I hate myself."
He looked at the guard near the room's exit door then back over his shoulder at the guard next to the room's interior door.
"I was just so angry that night," he said reflectively, "I was mad at everyone in my life…my parents…my teammates…the whole school for that fucking joke of a King and Queen vote…even Kurt." He paused and looked down, "He is just so confident in who he is…I was so jealous of that. I wish I could be like that."
The more Karofsky spoke about himself the angrier Brittany got until she felt compelled to speak up.
"Ok, you know what, you bastard…nobody cares how you felt that night. Do you see this girl in front of you?" Brittany looked Karofsky in the eyes, sitting up on the edge of her metal chair and pointing at Santana who sat to her left, "This girl right here…I love her…more than you'll ever understand about love…and you nearly killed her…and what you didn't destroy physically…you destroyed mentally and emotionally…and it's taken everything the rest of us can do to help bring her back…so you take a real good look at her face then you think about the consequences of your actions…because your circumstances don't mean shit in the end."
Santana looked at Brittany in stunned silence.
"You're right…nothing about me matters…I'm sorry," Karofsky said softly, looking back down at the table.
"Is that all you wanted to say to her?" Brittany's defenses were super-heightened.
"I guess so," David answered cautiously.
"Okay, great…come on, Santana…you don't owe him anything," Brittany stated harshly, standing up, adding as she turned to leave, "Good luck in prison."
"Britt," Santana called out to her over her shoulder, causing the blonde to pause and lean back down to her. "Let me have another minute," she whispered.
"You're sure?"
"Yes…I have something to say to him," Santana insisted, "Alone."
Brittany looked at Santana and saw determination in her eyes. She ran a soft touch down her cheek and smiled sweetly. "I'll be right outside," she assured her then turned to leave.
Santana watched her girlfriend walk out of the room and saw the guard close the door again before she turned in her seat and looked back at David Karofsky.
Cause I have other things to fill my time
You take what is yours and I'll take mine
Now let me at the truth
Which will refresh my broken mind…
So tie me to a post and block my ears
I can see widows and orphans through my tears
I know my call despite my faults
And despite my growing fears…
But I will hold on hope
And I won't let you choke
On the noose around your neck…
And I'll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I'll know my name as it's called again…
"She's angry," Santana said bluntly.
"She has every right to be," he responded, "Aren't you?"
"Yes…part of me probably always will be," she confessed.
"I understand that," he swallowed hard, his throat feeling very dry.
"You hurt me…what you did to me has put me through hell," she paused, thinking back to that night, "What did you think it would prove?"
Karofsky shook his head, hesitating then answering, "I wanted you to see me as a normal guy."
"So you forced yourself on me? That's not normal, Karofsky."
"Girls like you have it easy," he had a slight accusatory tone in his voice.
"What do you mean, girls like me?" Santana was taken aback by that statement.
"Lesbians…you can fake it…guys can't," he told her as though it made perfect sense.
"Now you're blaming me because you couldn't get an erection?"
"Nevermind…it doesn't matter," Karofsky said, sounding totally defeated.
Santana watched his demeanor alter as he shifted uncomfortably under this topic. "Have you ever had sex with a girl, David?"
It took a moment before he answered softly, "No…I've tried…but no."
"That at least makes some sense," Santana responded gently.
"Don't tell anyone…please?"
She saw tears in his eyes. "I used to be embarrassed too…to be gay…hell, I still am somewhat," she confessed, "But you can't let others bury you in shame."
"Why did you come here today?"
"To prove to myself that I'm not scared of you," she told him.
"Did it work?"
Santana nodded, "Yeah…you're just as miserable as I've always felt…I just took it out on others a different way than you did."
"Does it get better?"
"It does…," she assured him, "…once you start being honest, especially with yourself."
"Being honest is so hard," he said, a tear escaping down his cheek. He went to wipe at it, but the chain tethering his hand wasn't long enough.
"No, honesty's easy…it's the lying that's hard," Santana responded.
David sniffed. "I already gave them my written confession. I should be punished for hurting you. I'm so very sorry, Santana."
Santana could see the sincerity in David Karofsky's face. "I forgive you."
As soon as she said those words, her emotions overtook her. Her eyes clouded over with hot tears, and as they poured down her face, they felt somehow cleansing.
"You didn't have to say that so thank you," he said, fresh tears in his eyes.
She nodded, wiping her face with the back of her hand since she didn't have a tissue.
"Time's up," the large guard behind David announced loudly, moving toward him.
"I'm really glad everything worked out for you…with Brittany," he told her as the guard unlocked his chains and pulled him to a standing position.
"How do you know it has?" Santana asked, sniffing hard and wiping at her runny nose.
"I can just tell," he said with a smile as he turned and walked to the interior door. It buzzed loudly before the guard opened it and led him through, leaving Santana alone at the table.
She sat a moment and cried.
So come out of your cave walking on your hands
And see the world hanging upside down
You can understand dependence
When you know the maker's land…
So make your siren's call
And sing all you want
I will not hear what you have to say…
Cause I need freedom now
And I need to know how
To live my life as it's meant to be…
And I will hold on hope
And I won't let you choke
On the noose around your neck…
And I'll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I'll know my name as it's called again.
"Santana?"
The Latina turned around to see Brittany standing there, and she smiled up at the tall blonde.
"I'm sorry about that," Brittany moved toward the table, putting her arm around Santana's shoulders and handing her a tissue.
"About what?" she asked, adding, "Thanks."
"What I said to him…," Brittany sighed heavily, "…after all that I told you about keeping calm…then I completely lost it."
Santana blew her nose. "Don't be sorry," she reassured her, standing and putting her arm around Brittany's waist, "I've never loved you more than at that moment."
Once the girls reached the parking lot in front of the prison, Rachel pushed the button on her remote to unlock her car. She circled around the front and got into the driver's side as Brittany opened the passenger side door for Santana.
"Thank you again for coming," Santana said softly, "I couldn't have done it without you."
"At least it's over," Brittany stated, looking up to smile over at Rachel who winked at her, "What are you guys going to do now?"
"I promised my mom we'd have lunch with her once we got done here," Santana told her, running her fingertips gingerly over the top of Brittany's hand that was propped on the inside part of the car door, "Why don't you join us?"
Brittany glanced down, not yet in control of the array of emotions she'd felt over the last three days, "You go on…I have some things to do today."
"Brittany...," Santana started, but the blonde cut her off.
"Don't, ok?"
The Latina looked up at her, confused slightly by her reaction, "But…I know I owe you an apology."
"Let's not do this here," Brittany whispered back.
"Okay…," Santana looked down, "Will I see you soon?"
"I just have some things I need to think about," she responded.
Santana wasn't sure what that meant. "Should I be worried?"
Brittany let out a small laugh, responding, "What do you think?"
"I guess we have things we need talk through, huh?" Santana said sadly.
Brittany leaned into the leather seat of the SUV, nearly face to face with the Latina, and put her arms around her, "Go have a nice lunch with your mom." She kissed her on the forehead, adding, "Always remember how proud I am of you today, ok?"
"Are you still going to go to the river tonight?" she asked, hopeful.
"Yes, I'll see you there," Brittany confirmed.
"Bye," Rachel said, starting the ignition of the car.
"Bye," Brittany replied, pulling back to shut the passenger door, waving as Rachel backed the car out of the parking space and pulled away.
Cate Boyd walked into her small kitchen and smiled when she saw Quinn flip over a grilled cheese sandwich in the pan in front of her.
"Hi, honey…I'm home," Cate made a joke of Quinn's newfound domesticity.
"Oh, stop it…," Quinn retorted, knowing Cate had only walked to the mailbox and back, "…lunch is almost ready."
"I see that…you are the grilled cheese master chef, my dear!" Cate put her arms around Quinn from behind her.
"I know you're teasing…but this one is going to be perfect," Quinn assured her, flipping the sandwich over again, "No burn marks at all….go grab a plate."
The taller girl kissed Quinn on the cheek then turned to reach into an upper cabinet, telling her with a laugh, "I was starting to enjoy the bitter taste of burnt bread."
"I admit, I was a slow learner at first…but I'm starting to get the hang of this cooking business," Quinn smiled, sliding the sandwich out onto the plate Cate placed on the counter, "I think I'm ready to move on to eggs now."
"Oh goodness, how many eggs am I going to have to choke down before you're an omelet master chef?" Cate winked at her.
"As many as it takes?" Quinn pouted slightly.
"It's a good thing I love you then," she leaned down to kiss her on the lips, "Because I hate eggs."
Quinn hugged Cate and laughed.
"Oww," the older girl reacted to the tight squeeze.
"Ooo, sorry," the blonde apologized, seeing Cate wince, "Let me get you a pain pill."
"No, I'll be okay."
"Well, take it now so you'll have time to sleep it off before tonight," Quinn advised.
"I don't want to take any of those," Cate told her.
Quinn picked up one of the three prescription bottles that were on the kitchen counter, holding it up to see it was still full. "You haven't taken any more of these since Friday?"
"No…in fact," Cate took the brown bottle from Quinn's hand and pushed into the side pocket on her navy Capri pants, "You should just take it with you."
"Why?" Quinn wrinkled her nose at that suggestion, "What am I supposed to do with them?"
Cate shrugged, making light of the issue, "Throw them away…or sell them on the street…whatever you want…I just shouldn't have them around me really."
"I don't understand."
"I'm an addict, Quinn," the older girl reminded her.
"A recovering addict," Quinn emphasized, running a supportive hand up and down Cate's upper arm.
"Yes, but an addict nonetheless," Cate said sadly. She paused then added, "I remember the last thing Jordan said to me the night she died…'You're one breath away from being just like me again'."
"She was just jealous," Quinn tried to make her feel better.
"She was right though," Cate looked down, saddened by the thought of Jordan, "It's just not worth the risk. I'd rather have a few days of pain than to sink back into that and risk losing you."
Quinn pulled Cate toward her by the belt loops on her jeans, "I admire your strength."
"It's like Nietzsche said…," Cate stated, having a passion for the 19th century German philosopher, drawing a lot of fortitude from his wisdom during her recovery, "…'He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.'"
Quinn smiled up at the taller girl, always finding new reasons to love her.
"You're my why, Quinn," she told her, pulling her into a deep kiss.
Santana opened the glass door to The Lima Bean coffee shop, stepping aside for Rachel to enter. She followed the smaller brunette inside, letting the door close behind her.
The girls walked up to the counter to put in their coffee order when they heard a familiar cackle. Turning, they saw their fellow Glee Club members, Mercedes and Sam, sitting at a nearby table. Santana looked back at Rachel and gave her a knowing smile then walked toward the table.
"Sammy Evans," Santana greeted the handsome blond, one of her many ex-boyfriends, putting her hands on his shoulders and squeezing, "What a pleasant surprise." She turned her head and smiled at Mercedes, "Oh, are you two here together?"
The beautiful, dark-skinned girl couldn't help but laugh at Santana's over the top greeting, standing up to hug her, "It's good to see you too, Santana…I've missed you…sort of."
Santana laughed and hugged Sam too.
Rachel said hello and gave them each a hug, adding, "How's your summer been?"
Mercedes glanced quickly over at Sam, answering suspiciously, "It's been fantastic…how about yours?"
"There's been a lot of…activity," Rachel responded cautiously, looking at Santana.
"It hasn't lacked any drama," Santana added, "but it's going well now."
"Good to hear," Mercedes smiled supportively, knowing some of the details from talking to Rachel and Kurt.
"So we'll see you two down at the river this evening…right?" Rachel asked.
"Of course," Sam confirmed.
"What time are you guys getting there?" Mercedes wanted to know, taking a sip of her iced-coffee.
"Finn and Kurt reserved one of the spaces near the pavilion so come early because we're going to cook out on the grill that's there," Rachel informed her.
"Who's in charge of this cook out? You and Kurt?" Mercedes raised an eye brow.
"Yes…why?"
"So what's on the menu?" Sam inquired with a grimace, looking at Mercedes and Santana.
"Tofu dogs and veggie burgers," Rachel announced excitedly, "Sound yummy?"
"That sounds disgusting, Rach," Santana felt her stomach turn.
"We'll be sure to bring some good old-fashioned 4th of July food for the rest of us," Mercedes assured her with a dismissive pat on the tiny diva's shoulder, "You just make sure there are enough hot dog and hamburger buns, k?"
"Oh, well…okay," Rachel pouted a little, "See you around 6:15 then?"
"See you then," Sam smiled widely, his large mouth full of sparkly white teeth showing.
Finn Hudson paused a moment to shift the heavy box of soda pop and solo cups in his arms, causing a big bag of potato chips which sat on top to slide off and land on the paved path below him.
"Need some help?"
Finn looked over his shoulder to see Quinn Fabray walking toward him, hand in hand with an older brunette who was holding a black guitar case in her other hand.
Quinn leaned down and picked up the bag of chips, smiling up at the very tall McKinley High football player.
"Hi," Finn returned the smile.
"Hi," Quinn greeted him, "Finn this is Cate."
"I've heard a lot about you…it's nice to finally meet you," Finn said.
"Oh? Good things, I hope," Cate smiled, her face still showing visible signs of injury.
"Puck just lit the grill…follow me," Finn told them, leading the rest of the way down a paved sidewalk to an area that had various picnic tables and grills set in the ground for group cookouts.
The girls walked behind the gangly teen, and Quinn leaned into Cate, whispering, "Finn and I used to date."
"Oh…interesting," Cate chuckled.
"Finn dates Rachel now though," Quinn clarified.
"Good," Cate smirked good-naturedly.
Quinn laughed and tightened her grip on Cate's hand.
The three of them approached the picnic table, seeing Rachel and Kurt setting out bottles of ketchup, mustard, and relish.
Blaine pulled several plastic bags of hot dog and hamburger buns from a cardboard box and brought them over to the picnic table.
"Oh, Blaine, honey…please try not to squeeze my buns," Kurt warned him.
Blaine grabbed the festively-attired teen by the hand and pulled him into an embrace, joking with him, "I'll try…but your buns are just so fabulous that it's hard to keep my hands off of them."
Kurt looked around them to see what type of audience they had in the park then lean in to kiss his boyfriend sweetly on the lips, adding with a flattered expression, "That is very true."
"Looks like we're just in time for the fireworks," Quinn joked, walking up to her group of friends.
"Quinn!" Tina exclaimed, jumping up from the picnic blanket to hug her.
"Hello," the blonde greeted the Asian girl, waving at Mike Chang who stayed seated on the ground.
"Are you Cate?" Tina asked enthusiastically.
"Guilty," the older girl confirmed, sticking out her hand as a greeting gesture.
"Forget handshakes…we hug in Glee Club," Tina smiled, leaning to hug Cate, "I'm Tina…that's my boyfriend, Mike, over there."
"Thanks for including me in your group," she said warmly.
Quinn said hello and hugged everybody else gathered around the picnic area, proudly introducing Cate. She eventually made her way over to the grill where Puck was taking off the first batch of hot dog wieners and hamburger patties and one tofu dog.
"Rachel…this sad clump of yuck is yours here," Puck pointed out to the petite brunette who grimaced back at him.
"Hey, Puck," Quinn acknowledged him directly, smiling somewhat sheepishly, uncertain as to the reception she would get from him.
The muscular teenager wiped his hands on a paper towel as he turned to face her, "Hi, Quinn…you're looking good."
"Thanks," she responded, "Puck…this is Cate…who I mentioned to you."
"Right…Cate…from the country club," Puck joked, noticing her bruised nose and the stitches over her eyebrow, "So, uh…what the hell happened to you?"
"Long story," Cate wasn't quite sure how to take the Mohawk-wearing teen.
"Gotcha…I've got a few long stories myself," he replied dryly, handing the platter of meat to Quinn, "Would you set this on the table?"
"Sure," the blonde teen nodded, taking the plate from him.
Cate followed Quinn over to the picnic table, asking, "So…what's his story?"
"Puck is a long story," Quinn smiled awkwardly.
"There seem to be a lot of those around here," Cate retorted, "What's the short version?"
"He fathered my baby," Quinn stated bluntly.
"Okay then," Cate sighed, "Note to self…avoid Puck."
Quinn laughed, "No, he's fine…he's a great guy…a good friend, so no worries."
"Is there anybody else here that you dated who I should know about?" Cate whispered.
"Um, yeah…that blond guy over there…Sam and I dated," Quinn confessed.
"You people sure do date each other a lot," Cate observed.
"Oh, you have no idea," Quinn laughed, putting her arms around her girlfriend.
After everyone was finished eating, Quinn walked over to Santana who was sitting by herself, several yards away from the group down nearer the bank of the river. Other families had started laying out blankets and setting up lawn chairs in and around the group of Glee Clubbers in anticipation of nightfall and the annual fireworks display.
"Hey you," Quinn said as she sat down on the ground next to the Latina, crossing her ankles out in front of her.
"Hey," Santana answered with a sad tone.
"You sound pretty bummed," Quinn noted, pushing up the sleeves on her navy and white striped cotton shirt, "Would that happen to be in connection to one MIA blonde?"
Santana looked over her shoulder, canvassing the groups of people who were gathering around her, disappointed when she didn't see Brittany. "I'm not sure she's going to come," she responded.
"It's early still," Quinn looked at the time on her watch, "It's only seven twenty."
Santana nodded but felt unconvinced. She had tried calling Brittany earlier in the afternoon but got her voice mail then she texted her when they got to the river to see if she was on her way but never got a response. The brunette had wanted desperately to talk to Brittany, mainly to apologize for what happened between them. She was eternally grateful that Brittany showed up at the prison to be with her for her meeting with Karofsky, but Santana wasn't sure if that was just Brittany being supportive or if that meant the blonde forgave her for what she said on Friday night.
"Why don't you come back over to the group…you're missing quite the show," Quinn informed her.
"How so?"
"Cate and Puck are trying to out play each other on guitar while Rachel and Blaine try to out sing each other," Quinn joked, "They seem determined to make their way through the entire Broadway catalog of showtunes before the fireworks start."
"Rachel will win," Santana joked back.
"I'm not so sure…she may have met her match."
Both girls laughed then Quinn stood and pulled Santana up by the arm, telling her, "Fun times…you don't want to miss this, my dear."
As Santana walked up the riverbank incline with Quinn, she could see the group of Glee Club friends all sitting in a large circle around the grill that was set in the ground. Puck had converted it into a cool little firepit, and they were enjoying an impromptu sing-along.
Santana looked over toward the sidewalk, subconsciously checking again for Brittany's arrival, mentally noting that the sun was starting to go down.
"There you are," Kurt, who was leaned lovingly against Blaine, acknowledged the antisocial Latina as she and Quinn walked up just as the group's song was ending.
"Don't you think it's Santana's turn to pick the next song?" Mercedes suggested with a big smile.
"No…you guys go ahead," Santana answered, distracted with the movement from another small group who were walking up the pathway.
"Actually…I think it's my turn to pick the song…," someone said from the other side of Artie's wheelchair.
Santana instantly recognized that voice, turning her head to see Brittany stand up. The brunette had been so preoccupied with looking for Brittany to arrive from the other direction that she never even noticed her sitting on the far side of the group.
She breathed a heavy sigh of relief, smiling at the tall blonde with renewed hope. "Hi…I didn't realize you got here already," Santana told her as Brittany circled around beside her.
"A few minutes ago," Brittany confirmed, smiling, "That's why I sent Quinn after you."
Santana glanced across the group as Quinn sat down between Cate and Rachel. Quinn looked up and winked knowingly at her.
Brittany sat on the blanket, pulling Santana down with her, leaning over and whispering in her ear, "I picked this song for you."
Puck and Cate both started playing their guitars, and Santana knew the melody immediately even though she was slightly confused with what was happening.
Rachel smiled widely across the circle at Santana as she started singing the song Brittany had asked her to sing for Santana:
There's only us
There's only this
Forget regret or life is yours to miss
No other path
No other way
No day but today…
There's only yes
Only tonight
We must let go
To know what's right
No other road
No other way
No day but today…
I can't control
My destiny
I trust my soul
My only goal is
Just to be…
Santana felt Brittany put her arm around her waist and pull her into her as they listened to the song that carried so much meaning for the two of them. Her heart swelled not only with love for Brittany but with the understanding that Brittany was telling her that she forgave her for the things she said. She tilted her head to lay it on Brittany's prominent shoulder as Quinn joined in, singing harmony, with Rachel to finish out the song:
There's only now
There's only here
Give in to love
Or live in fear
No other path
No other way
No day but today…
There's only us
There's only this
Forget regret or life is yours to miss
No other road
No other way
No day but today…
No day but today…
By the time the song ended, Santana wasn't sure who was crying more as she looked around the circle of her dearest friends, every one of them wiping at their eyes.
"Thank you," Santana said softly to Brittany then blew a kiss across the circle to Rachel and Quinn who smiled warmly back at her.
"There's more," Brittany responded nervously, turning to accept something that was passed around the circle from Rachel, taking a deep breath as she took the red and the white roses from Kurt who sat next to her. She sat up on her knees and turned to face Santana.
"Britt? What's going on?" Santana asked, completely perplexed by the situation.
Brittany handed the red rose to Santana, keeping the white one. "The red one signifies love...and this white one is for innocence…and when you put them together…," Brittany explained purposefully, "…they signify unity."
Santana didn't know what to say, pulling the red one to her nose to smell it, looking back up at Brittany.
"Don't worry…I looked it up on google," Brittany assured her with a smile.
Santana laughed along with the rest of the group who were intently watching the two of them in total silence, forgetting any of the other people sitting around them who may or may not have noticed any of the intimate display.
"And that's what being with you has always meant to me…unity. You understand me like nobody else ever has…or probably ever will. You're my soulmate, Santana…I feel it right here," Brittany told her, taking the Latina's hand and placing it over her heart, "And no matter how angry we may get at each other…and no matter how hard or how crazy things get sometimes…I will never not love you, because then a part of me would be missing."
Santana sniffed hard as a tear rolled down her face. She looked at the face of the beautiful blonde who was looking back at her with overwhelming love in her blue eyes and a smile that only Brittany could make.
Santana ran her hand under her eyes to clear some of her tears away before she told her, "Brittany, whenever I see you smile…it's like feeling the sun on my face…it warms me…it heals me...and I want to do everything I can for the rest of my life to keep you smiling."
Brittany smiled even broader, tears filling her eyes. She pulled the black ring box from the front pocket of her denim shorts, opening it and turning it toward Santana.
"How did you get that?" Santana asked with a puzzled chuckle, glancing over at Rachel who shrugged and wiped at her wet cheeks. "I wanted to give that to you the other night…I wanted so much to…."
"Shhh…," Brittany cut her off, putting her finger over her lips to stop her explanation, smiling at her, "Santana Lopez…will you ask me to marry you?"
Santana laughed, more tears escaping down her face, "Yes, of course I will."
Brittany told her, "Then put this ring on my finger and ask me."
Santana fumbled with pulling the silver ring out of the soft padding inside the black ring box, her hands shaking, and she pulled up to her knees to be more face to face with Brittany, asking her, "Brittany S. Pierce…will you marry me and be with me forever?"
Brittany saw the light of the small fire in the center of the circle flicker off the shiny silver ring as Santana nervously slipped it onto her ring finger, and with darkness falling around them, she answered her confidently, "Absolutely…forever and ever…a million times over."
The silence hanging over the group of friends exploded into applause as Santana and Brittany kissed each other, oblivious to anyone else around them.
The sound of the song The Stars and Stripes Forever shot loudly out of the speakers on the nearby covered-pavilion as the fireworks display started over the water of the Lima river.
Santana and Brittany laughed at the sudden switch to the world's least romantic song, looking up into the night sky to see a spectacular pop of red, white, and blue.
"I love you so much," Santana told her, sitting on the ground and pulling Brittany backwards into her arms.
"I love you too," Brittany confirmed, holding her left hand up above her face to look at her new ring, "This is so beautiful, Santana."
"Almost as beautiful as you are," Santana leaned down to kiss the blonde laying in her lap, breathing a full breath of air for the first time all day.
Santana looked over at Rachel who was sitting with Finn's arms wrapped tightly around her then at Quinn who was cuddled close with Cate, all of them enjoying the fireworks above them. The Latina even looked back behind her and saw Artie sitting in his wheelchair just as he looked their direction, making eye contact and smiling at her, giving her a thumbs up.
She smiled back at him, mentally closing that chapter of their story and tightening her hold on Brittany as the group of friends enjoyed the rest of the fireworks display.
In the morning it comes, heaven sent a hurricane
Not a trace of the sun, but I don't even run from rain
Beating out of my chest, my heart is holding on to you
From the moment I knew
From the moment I knew…
You are the air in my breath, filling up my love-soaked lungs
Such a beautiful mess, intertwined and overrun
Nothing better than this, knowing that the storm can come
You feel just like the sun
Just like the sun…
And if you say, 'be alright'
I'm gonna trust you, babe
I'm gonna look in your eyes
And if you say, 'be alright'
I'll follow you into the light…
Santana closed her bedroom door, locking it, turning to face Brittany.
"Come here," Brittany told her, reaching out for her.
The brunette closed the distance between them, putting her hands around Brittany's waist and pulling her into her body. She kissed her deeply, moving her hands up Brittany's back and tangling them in her cascade of blonde hair.
Brittany could feel Santana start to move them toward the bed, laying on it when she felt the back of her thighs bump against it and pulling the Latina down on top of her.
Santana deepened their kisses, running her hands up Brittany's shoulders until they were on each side of her neck.
Brittany felt Santana's tongue against her lips first then she felt the brunette probe slowly but deeply. She opened her mouth further as their tongues danced around each other, waves of pleasure moving through her, stoking her inner fire.
Their kisses continued, long and tender, their passion growing. Santana could feel her heart racing almost as much as it was the first time she kissed Brittany. Her mind wandered back to that night, remembering how surreal it seemed that her best friend was kissing her. The same best friend she had longed to kiss. The same best friend who she eventually made love to on this same night two years before.
Santana paused a moment, whispering into Brittany's ear, "Happy anniversary, baby."
Brittany smiled, breathing heavily from their intense kissing, "Would you have ever thought on that night that we'd be here now…engaged?"
"I never would have thought that night would have even happened," Santana confessed.
"I knew it would…eventually," Brittany told her, sounding very confident.
"Really?"
"I really wanted to sleep with you…I just wasn't sure how to bring it up," Brittany revealed.
Santana laughed at that, knowing all Brittany would have had to say was…you and me, here, now…and Santana would have ripped off all her clothes.
"So like…I'm your fiancé now…how bizarre is that?" Brittany asked.
"Totally bizarre," Santana agreed, "But…totally sexy."
"Yeah?" Brittany raised her eyebrows with a sexy smirk.
"Totally…I've never made love to a fiancé before," Santana narrowed her eyes in her most sensual expression then devoured Brittany's mouth again.
Brittany felt Santana's hand move up to cup her breast through her t-shirt, but Brittany was feeling heat fill her entire body. She needed her skin to be touching Santana's immediately so she lifted up on Santana's white top, glad when the Latina rose up to help lift it over her shoulders, tossing it to the floor.
The blonde quickly reached up and unhooked Santana's bra, and they discarded that to the floor too. Brittany's hands instantly went to Santana's round, full breasts, squeezing them, pinching her nipples.
Santana moaned loudly, not caring who might be home by now. She had a newfound sense of freedom. She was in love…with a girl…and by god, she was going to make mad, passionate love to her tonight.
The two of them worked rapidly to remove all other articles of clothing, before settling back down on the bed. Brittany rolled Santana over onto her back and started a trail of kisses down her neck then her collarbone then down the center of her chest until she began to concentrate on her breasts again.
Brittany kneaded one with her fingers while she sucked on the other one, and when Santana was just about to stop breathing from all her gasping and moaning, Brittany switched to over to squeezing the other one and sucking hard on Santana's other nipple.
"Oh god…Britt," Santana choked out between moans, bringing her hands up Brittany's back and dragging her fingernails hard across Brittany's bare shoulder blades.
Santana looked down to see Brittany look up at her, and she could see just a hint of a smile in the moonlight that surrounded them. She watched as Brittany continued moving from one nipple to the other…sucking, biting, and teasing Santana's nipples to a hardness she'd never known before, and the harder she got, the more heat Santana felt in her groin.
"Britt…I need you inside me…please," Santana begged, nearly breathless.
Brittany knew it had been awhile since Santana felt that sensation, and she could feel the desire and the need radiating off of her.
"Are you sure it's okay?" Brittany worried about Santana's medical condition, not wanting to do any further damage.
"Please?" the brunette emphasized, arching her pelvis up into Brittany thigh.
Brittany moved her hand down between Santana's legs, and somehow with the perfect mixture of gentleness and intensity, she slipped her finger between Santana's folds, rubbing up and down several times, wetting her finger, before pushing it inside Santana's core.
"Ohhhhh…," Santana moaned, arching up again into Brittany's touch.
"That feels good, doesn't it, hon?" Brittany confirmed.
"Oh yes…sooooo good."
Brittany kissed Santana hard as she moved rhythmically inside her, feeling Santana's hips begin to rotate to her movements.
"More?" Brittany asked respectfully.
"Yes," Santana told her, feeling Brittany add a finger inside her.
Santana reached down to take over the stimulation of her clit so Brittany could focus on moving in and out of her.
Brittany held her close and sucked on Santana's nipples some more, but she found herself looking down too, thinking how erotic it was to watch Santana pleasure herself.
It wasn't too long before Brittany could feel Santana's inside walls start to clutch tighter and tighter around her fingers, making it harder to pull them out and push them back in.
Brittany could tell by the broken sound of Santana's ragged breathing and by the intense look on her face that she was getting close to climax, so she pushed herself up slightly to kiss the Latina again, leaning to whisper in her ear, "You look so beautiful right now…cum for me."
As if perfectly timed, Brittany's voice sent Santana over the edge, electricity coursing through her entire body, shattering every thought in her head, as it spread throughout her legs and abdomen.
Santana's entire body shook as the wave of her orgasm passed through her, and she grabbed Brittany's wrist with her hand that was between her legs, holding on to her, needing that connection.
The blonde just rested her head on Santana's chest, listening to her heart beat fast then slower and slower as her body finally stilled.
Neither one of them said a word for a couple of minutes. Santana just lay there as Brittany pulled her hand out of her and intertwined her fingers with hers, their trust cemented.
Once she felt relaxed again, Santana pulled her hand up with Brittany's still attached, kissing them, smelling her scent on hers and Brittany's fingers.
"Just when I think I can't love you more than I already do…somehow my heart grows just a little bit more," Santana told her.
Brittany smiled sweetly at that sentiment, nuzzling her face into Santana's neck.
"Britt?"
"Yeah?"
Santana wrapped her arms tightly around the blonde, affirming, "I will never doubt you again…I promise you that."
"Thank you," Brittany replied, kissing her softly.
Santana rolled Brittany over, kissing her harder.
Brittany brought her hand up and caressed the side of Santana's face as they kissed.
Santana could feel the metal of the ring on Brittany's finger, and she titled her head slightly to kiss it.
"I love my ring," Brittany confirmed, "The inscription is perfect."
"I'm not sure how you ended up with it…but I have a definite guess," Santana teased.
"Details don't matter now," Brittany smiled.
"I'm glad you love it, my love."
"I won't ever take it off," Brittany assured her.
"Then I'm glad it's on your left hand," Santana joked, grateful Brittany was right-handed.
Brittany laughed, "Yeah, that would be an awkward story, huh?"
Santana kissed the blonde again, notifying her, "Okay, rest time is over…time for round two."
Never mind what I knew, nothing seems to matter now
Ooh, who I was without you, I can do without
No one knows where it ends, how it may come tumbling down
But I'm here with you now
I'm with you now…
And if you say, 'be alright'
I'm gonna trust you, babe
I'm gonna look in your eyes
And if you say, 'be alright'
I'll follow you into the light…
Let the world come rush in
Come down hard, come crushing
All I need is right here beside me
I'm not enough, I swear it
But take my love and wear it over your shoulders…
And if you say, 'be alright'
I'm gonna trust you, babe
I'm gonna look in your eyes
And if you say, 'be alright'
I'll follow you into the light…
Author's note: The songs used in this chapter are The Cave by Mumford & Sons, No Day But Today from the musical Rent, and The Light by Sara Bareilles.
If you've never heard The Light then please go listen to it. If you aren't thinking of Brittana and crying by the end of it then you are made of stone! ;)
So our girls are engaged now…what do y'all think about that? And were you guys satisfied with the resolve of Karofsky? Let me know your thoughts. Thank you all for your awesome comments! You guys totally keep me motivated. Kim