"I've got all my clothes packed...and most of yours are done." Derek sighed as he came downstairs into the kitchen. They had completed almost all of the packing and it would be only a few short hours until they got on a plane and headed to New York so Ava could start treatment. Deciding what to take and what to leave seemed unimportant when the only thing that really mattered at the moment was their daughter's health.
"Okay." Meredith looked at their pile of suitcases that had already been packed then down at Zola who was pulling clothes from a pile. "Zo...no."
"Where is Ava?" He looked around, handing Zola a toy to play with instead.
"Right here!" Ava came in, still wearing her nightgown as she held a pile of dolls. "I gotta show grandma all my new babies!"
"I don't know if we have space to take all of those pumpkin."
"But I gotta show Grandma."
"How about we pick two for the plane and then I will ship the rest in a box." Meredith turned around, lifting her little girl up. Right now Ava was tired and pale, but she seemed to be feeling fine which made the reason for their trip all the more difficult.
"Can I put it in my Barbie suitcase?"
"Sure." Meredith kissed her cheek. "How is your tummy?"
"It only hurts a little."
"Do you want something to eat?" Derek asked.
"No." Ava shook her head.
)
"Okay." He sighed.
"Mommy you gotta pack my tutu and my school folder so I can show Grandma."
"I...I will." Meredith breathed.
"Ava...did you pick the rest of the toys you're going to bring?" Derek asked, putting Zola into her high chair.
"I'm not done."
"We have to finish soon so I can take the boxes to the post office."
"Okay." Ava nodded.
"Thank you sweetie." He whispered, kissing her cheek.
"Ava...Daddy and I are going to come in and pack up your clothes." Meredith replied, lifting Zola out of the high chair as she sipped at her bottle.
"Grandma and I are going to play dolls when we get there." Ava smiled.
"I'm sure she'd love to play with you." Meredith swallowed.
"Can we go to the park like last time?" Their little girl's eyes lit up.
"I um..." Meredith stopped, ignoring the sinking feeling in her stomach. "I don't know Sweetie."
"Why don't you go upstairs and play and Mommy and I will be up soon, okay?" Derek breathed.
"Okay!" Ava ran out of the room.
"I can't...she's fine..." He sighed.
"She's not eating..."
"I..."
"This is bullshit." Meredith groaned, before kissing Zola's head. "I'm going to go put Zola down...why don't you go help Ava and I'll be in."
"Okay." Derek sighed, shaking his head. He put away a few things in the kitchen and headed upstairs to Ava's room where she was playing on the floor with her dolls. "Hey pumpkin."
"Hi Daddy."
"What are you doing?"
"Playing." Ava reached for her doll's bottle. "I gotta feed her like Mommy feeds Zola."
"Yeah?" Derek chuckled, sitting down on the floor next to her. "You know I love you, Ava."
"I know Daddy...I love you too." Ava giggled, crawling into her Daddy's lap. "Can we go to the American Doll Store Daddy? I've always wanted a doll from there my whole life and they have a place to eat yummy stuff!"
"We'll see...we have a lot to do." He breathed.
"And the Zoo!"
"Maybe."
"Daddy?"
"Yes?"
"How are Rainbows made?" His daughter asked innocently.
"It's a reflection...of the light after it rains." Derek explained.
"Oh."
"I just put Zola down for her nap." Meredith walked in, her hands in her pockets.
"Hi Mommy." Ava smiled.
"Hi Ava." Meredith grinned, walking over to the closet.
"Mommy?"
"Yes Ava?"
"How come Hunter got to go to school today and I didn't?" Her daughter asked, looking up at her with the most innocent face.
"Oh..." Meredith stopped going through the closet and turned to face her little girl. "He um...he wanted to say bye to his friends and we didn't want you to...there are germs and...we just wanted to see you."
"Ava, Mommy and Daddy have to talk to you about something." Derek said, looking at Meredith, letting her know it was time.
"About what?" Ava asked.
"Um..." Meredith went and sat on the bed closer to where Derek was holding Ava on the floor.
"You know...how your tummy was sick?" whispered.
"Yeah." Ava nodded, holding her doll.
"Sweetie...remember when they ran tests on your?" Meredith asked as warmly as she could.
"Yeah...they had to use needles."
"I know sweetie." Meredith winced. She would have given anything to not see her daugther go through that. Ava had screamed and cried when they had taken her blood.
"They um...when they did that...they found out that your blood is sick too." Derek tried to explain.
"Do I gotta take the pink medicine?" Ava asked.
"No Ava." Meredith breathed.
"We have to go to Grandma's house so that we can make you better." Derek told her.
"We're going to stay there because Arizona is a really good doctor...you remember her and Callie right?"
"Yeah." Ava nodded her head.
"Well she and Uncle Alex are going to help you get better but it's going to take a little while." Meredith explained.
"What do I have?" Ava asked quickly.
"It's called leukemia." Derek breathed.
"What's that Daddy?"
"It um...it means that your sick...but not the kind of sick like you have a cold...you have something in your body that's not supposed to be there and we're going to get it out."
"But we're going to take good care of you." Meredith added, wanting to lock their little family in a room and pretend like none of this was real. "We're not going to let anything bad happen."
"But my tummy feels better." Ava frowned.
"I know." Derek sighed. "But it's not...it's not in your tummy."
"But my tummy was sick, Daddy.:"
"The other thing...the leukemia...that made your tummy sick. So we have to go to New York so that doesn't happen again."
"So I gotta get a shot then I will be better?" Ava stood.
"No, not a shot." Derek breathed.
"Sweetie things might happen that will seem scary but..."
"I have to take medicine?"
"You'll have to take a lot of medicine." Meredith stroked Ava's soft blonde hair.
"But Mommy and Daddy are going to stay with you when you get it." Derek promised her. "And even though sometimes the medicine...it might make you feel sick...it's going to make you feel better after."
"Okay Daddy." Ava shrugged. "Then we can go to the American Girl Doll Store?"
"Once you're all better."
"Can I get a doll there?"
"Yes." Derek laughed weakly.
"Maybe we can get one before that though." Meredith looked up at Derek.
"I think we could do that." He nodded.
"Yay!" Ava clapped.
"Do you have any questions for us?" Derek asked.
"When can I go back to my school?"
"Oh..um..." He looked up at Meredith.
"Ava...Daddy and I are pulling you out of Kindergarten...because it's going to take a while to get better." Meredith wiped at her eyes, trying to be strong because Derek looked like he was breaking. "Hunter is going to a new school in New York and you will stay home."
"I wanna go to school." Ava whispered.
"I know sweetie."
"You can go to school once you get all better." Derek told her.
"No!" Ava groaned.
"I know it stinks, Aves. But we have to do it." Derek sighed, rubbing her back.
"Ava if you want I can see about homeschooling so you can still do some school while you're sick." Meredith offered. She had looked at some programs earlier that morning so maybe Ava would want to do something like that.
"Okay." The little girl sighed, obviously disappointed.
"I'll make sure you enjoy school still."
"Promise Mommy?"
"I promise Ava."
"Okay."
"We're going to take good care of you, Pumpkin." Derek promised her, hugging her tightly.
"I know Daddy." Ava put her head on his shoulder.
"Do you want to play while we finish packing your things?"
"In my bed." Ava yawned, clutching her doll.
"Okay sweetie." He kissed her cheek.
"I'm tired." She whispered.
"You are?" Meredith pulled back the blankets.
"Mmhmm." Ava sighed.
"Well you rest while we pack your clothes." Meredith kissed her little girl's cheek as she tucked her in.
"Don't forget my tutu."
"We will not forget anything pink or sparkly." Meredith giggled.
"Mmkay."
"Sleep tight." Derek whispered, walking out of the bedroom.
"Daddy and I will be in and out Ava to pack but you enjoy your nap."
"Kay." Ava whispered, curling up under her blankets.
"Sweet dreams..." Meredith whispered.
"She's out." Derek breathed, closing the door.
"She's so tired." Meredith turned around, pressing her head into his chest.
"I...that was...I don't know if it was easier or harder than I expected." He whispered.
"She...I don't think she understands Derek."
"That might be best."
"I think the kids will know something is wrong when we don't leave New York after a week."
"I just..." Derek shook his head.
"Hmm?"
"I don't know if I can put her through this."
"We don't exactly have a choice if we want her to be okay."
"I know." He sighed.
"Let's just take everything day by day."
"I have to take the stuff to the post office."
"I'll help you pack to few more things and then you can take it." Meredith kissed his cheek.
"Okay." Derek breathed.
"There are a few more things we need to ship for the kids."
"Can you get them together for me?"
"Yeah..."
"I'm just gonna..." He motioned to their daughter's bedroom door.
"Make sure to grab all of her pajamas." Meredith replied.
"I will."
"I'll be back." Meredith backed away.
"Okay." Derek smiled weakly, slowly opening the door to Ava's room. When she had been born, he had the overwhelming urge to protect her and that feeling was stronger than ever now that he knew that she was sick. He would have given anything to be able to go through this for her but he couldn't so right now, sitting in her room with her and watching her sleep, knowing she was okay right in front of him was the only comfort he could get.